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00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,543
FITZ, NARRATING:
Some things are timeless:
2
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,328
sharkskin soup,
killer Sinatra,
3
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:27,549
a perfectly chilled martini,
to name but a few.
4
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:31,248
Some things in this
world are made to last.
5
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,598
They're first rate,
top shelf.
6
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:38,038
You know, classic.
7
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,171
Let's not mince
words here.
8
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,869
Oh, fuck, Larry.
9
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:47,047
Ugh.
10
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,092
I, Richard Fitzpatrick,
11
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,138
am worthy of the "classic"
distinction.
12
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,140
[Knocking on door]
13
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,360
So blow me,
prophecy of doom.
14
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,059
Classic shit endures.
15
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,104
It's indestructible.
16
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:03,759
And it needs
to take a piss.
17
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,808
[Groaning]
18
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:16,119
Yeah, this Fitzy's
meant to last.
19
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,295
Just like
my morning woody.
20
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:26,086
♪
21
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,262
Grey?
22
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:29,437
Oh!
23
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,396
Ugh!
24
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:35,138
Oh, Richard.
25
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,661
[Fizzing]
26
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:40,056
FITZ:
Oh, fuck, turn that down.
27
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:45,017
♪
28
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,889
♪ Without you
29
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:51,198
♪ I find my smile
30
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,765
♪ Without you
31
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,246
♪ I won
by a mile ♪
32
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,683
♪ Without you
33
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:02,383
♪ Oh life would be
so grand ♪
34
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,341
♪ Without you
35
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,561
♪ I'm half a man
36
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:10,173
♪ Without you
37
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:17,224
♪ Without you...
38
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:22,142
♪ Without you
39
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,625
[Mouthing]
40
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,626
DOT:
Hair dye.
41
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:31,020
Someone's feeling his age.
42
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,153
Age doesn't matter,
unless you're a broad.
43
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,677
Charm and experience,
that's what counts.
44
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,766
And I've got lots
of experience, kitten.
45
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,115
[Clicking tongue]
46
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:42,727
Yes, and it's tragic that
someone so seasoned
47
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,425
will never amount
to anything.
48
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,992
Penniless, no land
49
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,081
for your cheesy
dream lounge,
50
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,300
and so repellent to women
51
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,650
that even that doormat
you called a girlfriend
52
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,000
has finally abandoned you.
53
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,829
Can we just fuck and get
rid of all this tension?
54
00:02:57,829 --> 00:03:01,572
Mm, ask not for whom
the bell tolls.
55
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:05,315
It tolls for thee,
56
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,578
Richard Fitzpatrick.
57
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,016
No.
58
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,017
Boo!
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00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,628
Wow.
60
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:14,716
[Exhaling strongly]
61
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,761
Richard, ageing
is all about stress.
62
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:20,461
So I've enrolled you
in a restorative yoga class.
63
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:22,637
There's an easy-does-it
one at 6:00.
64
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,247
Can't. Last-minute plans.
65
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,118
Richard, you need
to take this seriously.
66
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,164
While ageing is generally
a natural process,
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00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:30,079
with your impending
death date looming,
68
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,255
I fear that your decay
has somehow sped up.
69
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,865
How are your gums?
Any shrinkage?
70
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,127
Ah!
71
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,955
You want to know the
secret to staying young?
72
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,130
The three Bs.
73
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,221
Booze, boards
and a really nice suit.
74
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,093
Oh, Dexter Laine.
75
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,616
Yeah, the last man alive
76
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:48,228
who supposedly might have
hung out with the Rat Pack.
77
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,099
Fourteen marriages,
three heart attacks.
78
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,535
Been on the road
since he was 15.
79
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:54,277
Oh, Larry, if the seats
in his tour bus could talk,
80
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:57,062
they'd be saying, "Hey, look,
Dexter's fucking again!"
81
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,716
Well, I would think, Richard,
82
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:01,110
that Dexter Laine is a little
bit past that phase of his life.
83
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,111
Bullshit.
84
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,460
That bus is a rolling shrine
85
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,157
to the teachings of Frank
and the apostles.
86
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:08,552
Oh, Richard,
this is actually better
87
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:11,294
than a Sanskrit metaphysical
journey of self-discovery.
88
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,645
Dexter Laine is what you need
to keep yourself feeling young.
89
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:17,039
A positive influence
for ageing gracefully.
90
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,433
Please, guy's got more
plastic-surgery scars
91
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,956
than my mom's tits.
92
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,479
You want to know
the secret to staying young?
93
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,480
Being rich.
94
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,874
In experience?
95
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:26,875
No, dip-shit.
96
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,311
From a celebrity endorsement.
97
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,921
Think about it.
98
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,401
Dex Laine, me,
sharing the marquee
99
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,142
at the Summer Wind Lounge.
100
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,230
Investors will be
lining up.
101
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,840
It will be money
in the bank.
102
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,016
Isn't Dexter Laine
a solo act?
103
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,236
Everyone needs
a crew, baby.
104
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,154
Ah.
105
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:51,073
♪
106
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:54,511
She's obviously
obsessed with me.
107
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,078
What? Who?
108
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,384
Dot, you moron.
109
00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:01,344
It's a very complex sexual
game we're playing.
110
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,955
Cat and mouse,
predator and prey.
111
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,609
Penis and vagina.
112
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,176
Too bad she's already got
a boyfriend, though.
113
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,831
What? Who? You?
114
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,486
Yeah, we do things.
115
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:14,749
I mean, it's not holding hands
and making pipe bombs,
116
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,098
but it's almost as good.
117
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:20,929
Josh, one blow job does
not a girlfriend make.
118
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:25,194
There's been
at least two.
119
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:30,199
6:00 p.m. explosion
of ageing crooner awesome!
120
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,200
Yeah!
121
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,683
Get in the car. Okay.
122
00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:36,814
Not you, Josh.
123
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,163
It's business.
124
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,817
I'm business.
I'm all types of business.
125
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,210
Yeah, I know you're all
types of business.
126
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,994
That's why I need
you here on standby.
127
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:43,995
[Scoffing]
128
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:46,084
Plan B kicks in;
you're my guy.
129
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,434
Plan B?
Yeah.
130
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,652
Holy shit.
131
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,175
Eyes on Dot.
Not one word.
132
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,176
Not one word. Yeah.
133
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,917
Lips are sealed, bro.
134
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,876
Yeah.
135
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,356
Get in!
Yeah!
136
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,358
[Slot machines clicking]
137
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:02,274
WOMAN:
Oh, Mr. Laine!
138
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:04,102
MAN:
Mr. Laine! Come on over!!
139
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,190
Thank you, baby.
Thank you, darling.
140
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:06,191
Dexter loves you.
141
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,846
Thank you.
Love you people.
142
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,457
Thank you.
143
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,067
Hey, you got those
tickets I gave you?
Yeah.
144
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,547
Richard, the fact that
you are including me
145
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,200
in this pilgrimage
to see your idol--
146
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,422
I am one of your pack, the
Fitz Blitz, baby! Yeah! Yeah!
147
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,598
Man up, will you? Fuck.
148
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:22,643
Hey, where are you going?
149
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,296
See if we can
get backstage.
150
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,037
Oh.
151
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,213
Hey, see that tall
guy back there?
152
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,172
He tried to sell me some
counterfeit tickets.
153
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,869
He's got some
beef with Dex.
154
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,830
He said he was trying
to cash in or something. I--
155
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:38,006
Oh, Richard.
156
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,573
Counterfeit tickets
copying is fraud, son.
157
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,444
It's a funny story,
actually. Think--
158
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:44,186
Ah. Think, "Spooky death
prophecy meets grey pubic hair,"
159
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,056
and then you'll--
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00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:55,110
♪
161
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,860
Cousin. Cousin!
162
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,122
Huh?
163
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,123
It's time we had
a talk, huh?
164
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,646
I am unable to go
on this way.
165
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,735
This is not
the time for guilt.
166
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,476
My music gives
me great joy.
167
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,869
Hey, not the music!
168
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,348
Our hip and happening
bachelor pad
169
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:19,264
has been desecrated by that
Fitzpatrick she-devil.
170
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,789
Shh.
171
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,834
Cousin, think of the fun
times we used to have, huh?
172
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,532
Do you remember we
used to fast so long;
173
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,577
we'd start
to hallucinate?
174
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,013
Those were crazy,
crazy times! Yeah!
175
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:32,190
I cannot keep living
that debauched life.
176
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,323
- What is he doing here?
- I don't know.
177
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:35,672
You leave me no choice.
178
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,196
I invoke the Pashtun Valley
ritual of--
179
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,807
[Speaking foreign word]
180
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,330
Boys' night?
181
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,332
Leave you alone
with him?
182
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:46,683
What? So he can ship you off
to some war-torn goat party
183
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,076
and marry you off
to some 12-year-old?
184
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,643
I don't fucking
think so!
185
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:53,081
You are absurd, and your breath,
it stinks like deli meat!
186
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,431
[Laughing]
187
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:58,478
You do not understand.
188
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,392
[Foreign word]
is a time-honoured
189
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,959
tradition amongst
my people.
190
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,309
Please, my mirage.
191
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,616
And tomorrow night,
you and I
192
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:10,054
will watch
Sleepless in Seattle.
193
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,708
You know, two can
play at this game.
194
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:15,320
And it's called girls'
night out with tongue.
195
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,759
I need to be drunker.
196
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,109
[Applause]
197
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:22,850
DEXTER LAINE:
Good night, ladies and
gentlemen, I'm Dexter Laine!
198
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,547
EMCEE:
Give it up for Dexter Laine!
199
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:28,333
[Cheering]
200
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:38,039
♪
201
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,171
Hey, uh, Mr. Laine,
Richard Fitzpatrick.
202
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,259
Call me Fitz.
203
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,260
Fuck off, Fitz.
204
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,827
I hear you.
205
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,176
All those assholes trying
to get what they want from you,
206
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,135
and all you want to do
is unwind after your show.
207
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,703
All I want to do is have
regular bowel movements.
208
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:50,921
And you deserve it.
209
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,532
And you're the man,
king of the road.
210
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,098
What did you say
your name was?
211
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,143
Fitz.
212
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,188
As long as it's
not Joey Bishop.
213
00:08:57,188 --> 00:09:00,452
That fucking guy could not sing
for shit, and his jokes sucked.
214
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,020
Oh, you got
that right.
215
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,457
You're not one of those rump
thumpers, are you, Fitz?
216
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,938
No, just want to talk
a little business.
217
00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:12,247
All right, let's talk
a little business on the bus.
218
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,032
Ring-a-ding, ding.
219
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:23,519
I don't think so.
220
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:27,610
Dex!
221
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:28,872
Fuck.
222
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,096
Hello, Richard.
223
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,576
Thanks, ass bandit.
224
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,926
Me? You blame this on me?
225
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,492
You set me up.
226
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,625
How else was I supposed
to get backstage?
227
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,323
There goes my celebrity
endorsement deal.
228
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,848
Some things are more important
than deals, Richard,
229
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,371
like honesty, friendship,
230
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:51,939
using your limited time
on this earth to do good.
231
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,767
You see how much shit
that guy sells?
232
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,812
He puts his name
on a fucking prune,
233
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:58,162
and ca-ching,
he's shitting gold bullion.
234
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,990
Oh, that's like magic.
235
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,862
No, this is our
only shot at this.
236
00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:04,865
Next time he rolls through
this town, we'll both be dead.
237
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,649
Richard, you still
have your dealership.
238
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,172
Maybe that's
legacy, enough.
239
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,958
Great, toxic old man,
psycho office manager,
240
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,177
stoned mechanic
who can't fix shit.
241
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,178
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
242
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,484
I mean, it might
take him a while,
243
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,747
but Josh can fix pretty
much anything on wheels.
244
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:22,143
Yeah, if Fitzy
can't get to the bus,
245
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:24,188
the bus will come to Fitzy.
246
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:26,364
- Where are you going?
- Plan B.
247
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,066
[Buzzing]
248
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:36,287
LARRY:
I cannot believe
you sabotaged that bus.
249
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,246
Richard, plans born
of corruption can only lead
250
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:41,075
to greater corruption
and anxiety-fuelled heartburn,
251
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,511
which leads
to premature ageing,
252
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:43,686
which leads to death,
253
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,470
which leads us right
back to square one.
254
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,602
Will you just
close your eyes?
255
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,082
It will be over
before you know it.
256
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:50,998
Look, Richard, I know
you're anxious about achieving
257
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,477
your dream-lounge fantasy
before you die.
258
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:53,522
Exactly, Larry.
259
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:55,872
My dream-lounge fantasy,
not yours,
260
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,440
which means I can attain
it however I want.
261
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,963
Hey, Josh!
262
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,443
Josh!
263
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:02,966
Working girls, stat!
264
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,054
And not the cheap ones
from the mall.
265
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:06,056
The expensive ones
266
00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:07,188
from the mall.
267
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,886
And I need you
to fix this bus.
268
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,714
That could take
weeks, though.
269
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:16,197
I'm banking on it.
270
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,720
Where the fuck am I?
271
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,635
Fitzpatrick Motors,
Mr. Laine.
272
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,724
Richard Fitzpatrick,
we met backstage.
273
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:22,725
Yeah, I meet
lots of people.
274
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:23,987
I bet you do.
275
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,467
What did you say
your name was?
276
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,338
- Fitz.
- As long as it's not Bishop.
277
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,297
That fucking guy
couldn't sing for shit.
278
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,081
And you know what they
said about his jokes?
279
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,257
No.
280
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:34,737
They sucked.
281
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,173
I like your style, kid.
282
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,959
You're not one of those
derriere dandies, are you?
283
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:41,004
No, I'm your
biggest fan.
284
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,180
Hey, why don't you come inside
for a cocktail? Relax.
285
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,226
I put my best man on this.
286
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,056
Easy.
287
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,928
JOSH:
Hey, Kabar.
288
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:55,932
Hey, man, listen, I need
a chrome engine case for a bus.
289
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,543
Yeah. Yeah.
290
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,110
Put me down
for a kilo, dude.
291
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,591
Yeah.
You said it, dude.
292
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,462
Borders don't
cross themselves.
293
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,247
Okay, bye-bye.
294
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,814
Whoa!
295
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,337
Hi.
296
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,078
What's with
the bus?
297
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,167
What bus?
298
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:18,128
Josh, tell me
about the bus.
299
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,434
There's not really
anything tell.
300
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:22,089
I mean, it's just
an ordinary tour bus.
301
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,264
It's just--
302
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:24,569
[Zipper unzipping]
303
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,225
[Muffled]:
Now tell me
about the tour bus.
304
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,619
It's Plan B!
305
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,186
Fitzy's ticket out of here.
306
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:35,102
His shot at the b-b-big time.
307
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:36,364
[Moaning]
308
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:39,149
[Sighing]
309
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:42,022
I got a girlfriend.
310
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,372
[Woman laughing]
311
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,461
DEXTER:
Here we are.
312
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:47,679
We're backstage at the Copa.
313
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,246
I'm waiting for Frank
to give the nod.
314
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,682
I get up to take a leak.
315
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:53,033
That cocksucker Bishop
took my cue.
316
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,861
Man's got to have a crew
he can count on.
317
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,080
That fucking guy could
not sing for shit.
318
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,952
And his jokes sucked.
319
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:02,085
Ah, I like you, kid.
320
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,652
Hey, Uncle D.,
321
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,524
Dex, Dex, hey, I want to talk
to you about something.
322
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:07,525
Shoot.
323
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:08,526
It's a little
business thing
324
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:09,571
I've been working on
for a while.
325
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,834
Oh, stop living
in the past, kid!
326
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,140
For chrissake!
327
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,402
Did I tell you
about Miami?
328
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,360
Called the Summer
Wind Lounge.
329
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,015
That fucking Bishop could
not sign for shit.
330
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,060
And his jokes sucked.
331
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,061
They sucked!
Sucked!
332
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,453
Ah, suck it.
333
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:25,021
Hey, hey, hey,
it's a real old-school lounge.
334
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,762
You know,
like the good old days,
335
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,851
like the Sands,
like the Copa.
336
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,157
Did you see Ocean's?
337
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,985
Not half the vibe
it could have been.
338
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,857
That was supposed
to be my vehicle.
339
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,076
[Glass smacking table]
340
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,729
Tell me another
story, Uncle D.
341
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,427
This fucking kid
comes running backstage.
342
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,472
He says, "Jesus,
Frank's fucking a boy!"
343
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,300
I said, for chrissake,
it's Mia Farrow!
344
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,346
[Fitzy laughing]
345
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,131
When men were men and--
346
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,829
Fuck Bishop!
347
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,091
Fucking Bishop!
348
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,136
[Groaning]
349
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:54,703
You make me feel
young again, kid.
350
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:57,488
Yeah, you too, buddy.
351
00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:05,540
♪
352
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,327
[Clearing throat]
353
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:13,200
What are you doing?
354
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,984
Just pitching in.
355
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,943
Helping to repair a bus
that seems to be taking
356
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,293
an exorbitant amount
of time to fix.
357
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:22,905
I didn't know you were
mechanically minded.
358
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,952
Oh, women are capable
of many things, Larry.
359
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,084
Yes, yes, indeed.
360
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:32,741
Mm, Lizzie Borden,
Margaret Thatcher,
361
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:35,135
both the Madonnas.
362
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:38,225
Oh, we're an integral
part of the ecosystem.
363
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:41,097
We're multitaskers.
364
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:44,057
Judge, jury,
365
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:48,713
executioner.
366
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,063
Oh?
367
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,456
Did you know
the female praying mantis
368
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,849
has cannibalistic
tendencies?
369
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:55,590
- Nope.
- Mm-hm.
370
00:14:55,590 --> 00:15:00,595
During sex she eats
the male's head as he thrusts.
371
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,944
You know why?
372
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,033
Unh-unh.
373
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,949
So he'll perform better.
374
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:11,736
Make the most of what sad
little life
375
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:12,999
he's got left.
376
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,265
[Whimpering]
377
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:27,100
♪
378
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,407
Sonya, where
the hell are you?
379
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:33,454
[Phone ringing]
380
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,860
The fuck?
381
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,993
[Ringing stops]
382
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,690
Really, Sonya?
383
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:55,955
Staging your own abduction
not avoid girls' night?
384
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,000
Again?
385
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,526
Ugh!
386
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:04,485
[Woman laughing]
387
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:08,010
Oh, guests. Hi.
388
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,534
A little chilly for that.
389
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:14,582
What--?
390
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:17,977
Uh, Richard, there are
a couple of gentlemen
391
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:21,458
with guns eating my Brie.
392
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:24,984
Yeah, can't be Rat Pack without
mob contracts, shithead.
393
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,289
Mob contracts?
394
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,551
For the Summer Wind.
395
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,031
Giving Uncle D.
and I a sweet deal
396
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,815
on plumbing
and call girls.
397
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:33,079
Okay, Richard, Dot knows
398
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,950
that you sabotaged
Dexter Laine's bus.
399
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,996
So?
"So"?
400
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,258
She is dangerous.
401
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:41,565
There is a foul plan afoot.
402
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,915
The only plan that
broad has is to nail me.
403
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:46,483
No, I would--
I would avoid that.
404
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,660
Mob contracts and death
prophecy, my Brie.
405
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,272
Okay, first, shut the fuck
up about the prophecy.
406
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,796
And second, you don't know squat
about the way things work.
407
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,798
You think Vegas was
built in a day?
408
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:57,799
The Sands, the Trop'?
409
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:58,974
- 'Icana?
- Yeah.
410
00:16:58,974 --> 00:16:59,931
He said, no, huh?
411
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,195
He hasn't said shit.
412
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,153
The guy can barely
remember his own name.
413
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,981
Between the handfuls
of poppers
414
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,809
and the same story
over and over--
415
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:10,072
Fuck him! You know who!
Fuck him!
416
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,595
LARRY:
Wait, pulls?
417
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,075
Same stories?
418
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,903
How old did you
say he is?
419
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,426
Real men don't
discuss their age.
420
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:18,559
It's rude.
Alzheimer's!
421
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,822
Richard,
don't you see?
422
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,737
Dexter is more of a mentor
than you'll ever know.
423
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,391
He keeps on keeping on,
424
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,045
even though he can't remember
what he did five minutes ago.
425
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,699
So those aren't poppers?
They're meds.
426
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,050
Yeah, and we need to keep
him away from the alcohol.
427
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,270
Yeah, because that would
really fuck his shit up,
428
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:35,576
impair his judgement.
429
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,620
Richard,
430
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:38,361
you're feeling empathy.
431
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:39,406
No, I'm not.
432
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,798
I'm trying to figure out
433
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:41,799
how to get him
really loaded,
434
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,933
so he'll sign on
the dotted line.
435
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,935
Of course you are.
436
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,502
[Foreign word]!
Mm!
437
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,721
[Foreign word]!
Mm.
438
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:53,028
Cousin, I can almost
hear those landmines
439
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,595
exploding in the distance.
440
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:58,033
Yes, it is
just like home.
441
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,079
Hey, the tribal
elders might say,
442
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,951
"What is the problem,
dude, huh?"
443
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,040
We are not in
the old country.
444
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,607
I moved on.
445
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:08,739
You certainly moved on,
from one thing only.
446
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,089
And that is me,
447
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,917
the one person who always
tries to make you happy.
448
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:17,139
Meghan makes me happy too,
just in other ways.
449
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,141
Oh, so many ways.
450
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,447
What happens, hm?
451
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,275
What happens when you marry
your second cousin?
452
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,713
She has no place
in your life.
453
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:28,281
Those Fitzpatricks,
they are the enemy!
454
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:33,112
And deep down
you know that.
455
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:37,028
[Foreign word].
456
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:54,524
Hey, Uncle D.!
It's me, Fitzy!
457
00:18:56,222 --> 00:19:06,319
♪
458
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:15,154
This isn't a fuck bus.
It's just a rolling morgue.
459
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,157
Where the hell am I?
460
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,118
Um, at the Copa,
Uncle D.
461
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:27,035
Backstage,
packed house.
462
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:30,169
Henny just finished his set,
and I got good news.
463
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,779
You got the nod.
464
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:32,780
Place of your own.
465
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:33,955
Frankie know about this?
466
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:34,956
Oh, yeah!
467
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,479
At first he was
thinking Bishop,
468
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,960
but then he realized
you're the man for the job.
469
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,483
Spotlight's all yours.
470
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,224
Top name on the bill.
471
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,139
Booze and hookers
on the house.
472
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,447
Forget it, kid.
473
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,100
It's all an act.
474
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:52,147
I haven't had real booze
or pussy since '74.
475
00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:59,807
♪
476
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:03,245
Mr. Laine, you are
the last of an era.
477
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,726
And look at you, man.
478
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:08,119
It is what it is, kid.
479
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:09,991
I'm-- I'm going to be dead
in two years anyway.
480
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:12,036
I might only have
a couple of weeks left.
481
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:16,127
But guys like me,
we need guys like you.
482
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,999
And guys like us,
483
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,349
we don't go
out like this.
484
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:22,656
I am worth 40 million.
485
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:25,224
That could buy
a little more time
486
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,442
or a lot of fun.
487
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,232
You got to get off
this fucking bus, man.
488
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,365
I like your style, kid.
489
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,453
Yeah.
490
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,020
What did you say
your name was?
491
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,456
Fitz.
492
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:45,983
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
493
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,594
Hello, red.
494
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:48,725
Fuck off, Fitz.
495
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:55,254
Ooh, diddy like.
496
00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:59,301
Sabotaging
an old man's bus,
497
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:04,001
deals with the mob about a bar
that doesn't exits, clever.
498
00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:05,960
You have no idea
what you're talking about.
499
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,572
Dexter Laine and I
have plans, big plans.
500
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,922
It will blow this place
right out of the water.
501
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:13,837
One day, if you play
your cards right,
502
00:21:13,837 --> 00:21:16,231
maybe I'll even let
you climb aboard.
503
00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:17,580
We'll see how he feels
504
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,801
after I tell him what
a degenerate you are.
505
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:24,892
Be my guest.
506
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:33,117
♪
507
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:36,338
Oh, hey, hey, hey,
you can't smoke in here.
508
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,819
I can do any fucking
thing I want!
509
00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:41,996
I'm Ken fucking Fitzpatrick.
510
00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:43,389
The Germans
couldn't kill me.
511
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:44,390
The Japs couldn't kill me.
512
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,043
Cancer's not going
to kill me.
513
00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:47,393
You fought in the war?
514
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,656
The war of high
fucking prices!
515
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:52,702
I've outlasted every dealer
on this miserable strip.
516
00:21:52,702 --> 00:21:54,095
No way I'm going to let
517
00:21:54,095 --> 00:21:58,360
some scalpel jockey
take my nuts.
518
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,361
[Grunting]
519
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:00,493
What's your problem
520
00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:02,582
besides your face?
521
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:05,019
Don't joke, Daddy.
I'm not in the mood.
522
00:22:05,019 --> 00:22:08,065
Ruptal and I, we--
523
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,066
I think it's over.
524
00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:10,938
Bullshit!
You're a Fitzpatrick!
525
00:22:10,938 --> 00:22:14,158
We decide when it's over.
526
00:22:14,158 --> 00:22:17,510
We decide how
it's going to end.
527
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:21,905
Anything else
is a pussy move.
528
00:22:21,905 --> 00:22:30,697
♪
529
00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:33,264
You know what
the problem is
530
00:22:33,264 --> 00:22:35,441
with the rest
of the world, Larry?
531
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,660
They're always
three drinks behind.
532
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:38,835
I'm proud of you, Richard.
533
00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:40,359
This is real progress,
534
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,100
and I'm so glad that it
all worked out for once.
535
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:47,453
It's a real legacy,
built on mentorship and trust.
536
00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:51,152
Yeah, by now he's probably
balls-deep in Dot.
537
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:54,198
You--? You--?
538
00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:56,244
You left her alone
with Dexter Laine?
539
00:22:56,244 --> 00:22:58,855
Yeah, a little bonus
for my new partner.
540
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:01,336
No, no, no,
the praying mantis.
541
00:23:01,336 --> 00:23:02,990
She eats the head.
542
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:04,078
She--
543
00:23:04,078 --> 00:23:08,822
She eats the head!
544
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:14,480
[Beeping]
545
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:22,444
♪ Those fingers in my hair
546
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:26,796
♪ That sly "come hither" stare
547
00:23:26,796 --> 00:23:29,059
♪ That strips
my conscience bare ♪
548
00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:34,151
♪ It's witchcraft
549
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:38,460
♪ And I've got
no defence for it ♪
550
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:42,943
♪ The heat is too
intense for it ♪
551
00:23:42,943 --> 00:23:47,426
♪ What good would
common sense for it do? ♪
552
00:23:49,819 --> 00:23:53,954
♪ 'Cause it's witchcraft
553
00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:57,784
♪ Wicked witchcraft
554
00:23:57,784 --> 00:24:02,005
♪ And although I know
555
00:24:02,005 --> 00:24:06,140
♪ It's strictly taboo
556
00:24:07,271 --> 00:24:11,885
♪ When you arouse
the need in me ♪
557
00:24:11,885 --> 00:24:15,889
♪ My heart says,
"Yes, indeed, " in me ♪
558
00:24:15,889 --> 00:24:20,894
♪ Proceed with what
you're leading me to ♪
559
00:24:24,419 --> 00:24:28,162
♪ It's such an ancient pitch
560
00:24:28,162 --> 00:24:32,471
♪ But one I wouldn't switch
561
00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:37,171
♪ 'Cause there's no nicer
witch than you ♪
562
00:24:38,172 --> 00:24:40,957
[Siren wailing]
563
00:24:40,957 --> 00:24:49,618
♪
564
00:24:57,191 --> 00:25:01,543
We were just talking.
That poor man.
565
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:04,851
He was so--
So vital.
566
00:25:04,851 --> 00:25:05,982
So well preserved.
567
00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,984
A celebrity endorsement
from a stiff
568
00:25:07,984 --> 00:25:09,420
is worth jack shit.
569
00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:12,511
And now I'm in Dutch
with the mob.
570
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,990
Thanks, cock docket.
571
00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:17,211
It's not me, Richard.
We are jinxed.
572
00:25:17,211 --> 00:25:18,995
LARRY:
The curse, I--
I tried to warn you.
573
00:25:18,995 --> 00:25:20,780
Warn me about what, Larry?
574
00:25:20,780 --> 00:25:23,391
Fucking what?
575
00:25:23,391 --> 00:25:26,089
You know what they say:
576
00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:28,483
tragedy always
comes in threes, dude.
577
00:25:28,483 --> 00:25:30,441
[Crow squawking]
578
00:25:30,441 --> 00:25:31,704
[Josh laughing]
579
00:25:31,704 --> 00:25:35,925
One more to go.
580
00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:45,979
♪
581
00:25:48,111 --> 00:25:49,504
Fuck.
39532
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