All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S02E03 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H264 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track4_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,456 [Snoring] 2 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,462 FITZ: The worst part about a curse 3 00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,421 isn't the bad shit that happens to you. 4 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:33,859 Any schmuck can weather a little misery. 5 00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,472 Hell, most people actually enjoy it. 6 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:42,390 No, the worst part about a curse 7 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,088 is that your luck's turned to shit. 8 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,134 [Groaning] 9 00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,485 Snake eyes. 10 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,095 Great. 11 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,880 It's a voodoo mind fuck. 12 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,795 Solutions turn into problems, 13 00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:59,407 and problems turn into nightmares 14 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,496 and suddenly... 15 00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,760 Nothing makes sense anymore. 16 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,111 Happens when you mix atophan with booze. 17 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,331 How'd you get in here? 18 00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,116 Shit. 19 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,422 I get it. 20 00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,902 It's a dream, isn't it? 21 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,296 It's totally a dream. 22 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,993 If I know that, 23 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,300 I can control it. 24 00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:28,958 All right, ladies. 25 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,699 Let's get to it. 26 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,267 I don't know how long this dream is going to last, 27 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:36,705 but I do know this threesome isn't going to start itself. 28 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,402 Richard, you are awake 29 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,231 and you have a pronounced erection. 30 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,191 [Women giggling] 31 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,453 Wow. 32 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:52,068 ♪ 33 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,939 ♪ Without you 34 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:58,030 ♪ I find my smile 35 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,772 ♪ Without you 36 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:03,340 ♪ I won by a mile ♪ 37 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,821 ♪ Without you 38 00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:09,433 ♪ Oh, life would be so grand ♪ 39 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,392 ♪ Without you 40 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,611 ♪ I'm half a man 41 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:17,224 ♪ Without you 42 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,274 ♪ Without you... 43 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,149 ♪ Without you 44 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,195 It's policy, Mr. Fitzpatrick. 45 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,631 You need a licence to sell 46 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:35,242 and, due to your fraudulent practices, 47 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,852 yours has been revoked. 48 00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,680 Which means you're nothing around here. 49 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,986 Jesus, let's try and be professional here. 50 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,771 - Professional? - Yeah. 51 00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,643 You just petitioned customers for an orgy. 52 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,297 And they said yes. 53 00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:50,039 You're up on criminal charges for breaking into my apartment. 54 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,258 All you've done is prove my point. 55 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,476 I got enough hassles. 56 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,217 And I guy's got a right to earn a living. 57 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,045 You stole my panties. 58 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,047 Oh, I think we both know what this is about. 59 00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,441 Hey, you know about this power trip 60 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,965 that your psycho smile factory is taking? 61 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,968 No clue, but if it pisses you off, I'll back her. 62 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,100 Ooh, are we having a meeting? 63 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,059 No, we're playing a game called "shut the fuck up." 64 00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,060 You go first. 65 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,496 Okay, I'll-- KEN: Ah, ah, ah. 66 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:13,932 Don't blow it, kid. 67 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,412 The sign outside says "Fitzpatrick Motors." 68 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:16,413 I'm a partner. 69 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,067 You're a blowjob that went wrong. 70 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,851 What about me? You can't even 71 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,505 win a game of "shut the fuck up." 72 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,855 What the skirt says goes. 73 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,990 DOT: Sales floor's off limits until you pass your dealers exam. 74 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,948 Sorry. 75 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,394 Oh, fuck. 76 00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:47,966 It's like I always say, Richard 77 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,098 Embrace big obstacles 78 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,752 and problems will turn into big assets. 79 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,841 Shut up, Larry. This is just a stupid dealership exam. 80 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,539 For which I did suggest you rewrite several dozen times. 81 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,367 Oh, you want to take credit for my ideas now? 82 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,630 Are you a walking conscience or a walking ego? 83 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,937 Besides, I'm not taking the exam. You are. 84 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,547 And I don't feel very comfortable 85 00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,810 impersonating you for an exam. 86 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:09,814 No, Richard, that's the line for the specials. 87 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:11,773 Shh. 88 00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,210 Well, hello. Hm. 89 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,951 I'm Richard, Richard Fitzpatrick. 90 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,953 Oh. I'm Fuck, Don't Give a Fuck, 91 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,346 and you're in the wrong line. 92 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783 Oh, we are so sorry. 93 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,176 Can I help you with anything? 94 00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:27,310 Oh. Apotemnophilia, huh? 95 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,356 Interesting. 96 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:30,748 Here's my card. 97 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,402 Call me when you need a new short bus. 98 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,404 Or anything else. 99 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,101 It's not likely. 100 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,190 WOMAN: Next. 101 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:42,630 This is Richard Fitzpatrick. 102 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,196 He's here to take his dealership exam. 103 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,197 Hello. 104 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,156 I'll need some photo ID. 105 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,158 Yeah. Right. 106 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,986 Here you go. 107 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,509 [Clearing throat] 108 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,993 Doesn't look a thing like him. 109 00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:58,994 Hey-- 110 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,343 Oh fuck. Look, Richard, 111 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,606 I know academics aren't your "thing," 112 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,087 but you can do this. There's nothing to be afraid of. 113 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,219 [Snickering] 114 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,656 [Clearing throat] 115 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,180 Richard Fitzpatrick isn't afraid of shit. 116 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:18,056 ♪ 117 00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,667 [Intercom beeping] 118 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,972 SONJA: Mr. Fitzpatrick, 119 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,018 I have a Dr. Rollands on line 1. 120 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,630 Am I a dead man or what? 121 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,328 WOMAN, OVER PHONE: As I mentioned, Mr. Fitzpatrick, 122 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,112 testicular cancer responds very well to-- 123 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,375 Quack. Double-talk bullshit. 124 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,159 I think we have it well in hand. 125 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,900 Did you find someone who will pick you up 126 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,076 after the procedure? 127 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,340 Nah. I ain't got nobody. 128 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,124 Well, you have to find someone. 129 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,126 It's hospital regulation. 130 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,823 Regulate this. 131 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,656 [Exhaling] 132 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,266 [Drill whirring] 133 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,268 Fuck me. 134 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,320 Dude, listen, the flight landed 15 minutes ago. 135 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,627 How long does it take to pass 40 condoms of cocaine? 136 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,846 That's not-- 137 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,635 Just dish soap, a quart of milk, okay? It works fine. 138 00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,463 I don't care if you ate cheese. I got to go. 139 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,029 [Phone hanging up] 140 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,117 Hey, boss. 141 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,597 What the fuck are you doing? 142 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:24,775 Oh, I was just trying to track a shipment of parts. 143 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,387 I'm just running low on-- On some parts 144 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,692 that I ordered. 145 00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:31,086 I got more customers than product, you know? 146 00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:33,523 Jack up the price. Whoever doesn't want to pay fucks off. 147 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,873 Then you got plenty of product. 148 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:39,007 Basic supply and demand, jerkoff. 149 00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,530 I need a lift. 150 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,010 Uh... 151 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:46,449 You mean like smack, speed, PCP? 152 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,103 A ride, moron. 153 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,887 Weed? 154 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,498 In a car. Oh. Oh, vodka. 155 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,673 I got a guy for that. 156 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,762 Who the fuck hired you?! 157 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,459 Jesus! 158 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:02,117 If there is anything you need, Mr. Fitzpatrick. 159 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:06,077 What I need is for everyone to shut the fuck up! 160 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:10,821 [Door slamming] 161 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:13,781 How did I fail that exam twice? 162 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,044 You were just underprepared. 163 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,959 Maybe nervous? 164 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,177 Oh, whatever. 165 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,396 Hey, buddy. Ah! 166 00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,398 Hey, where are you going, Richard? 167 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,226 You shouldn't be alone at a time like this. 168 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:27,664 To fuck, smoke or drink something. Preferably all 3. 169 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,624 [Car engine starting] 170 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,505 [Inhaling] 171 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,464 JOSH: Check it out. 172 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,378 This is my masterpiece. 173 00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:49,033 The DSE. Drug Stock Exchange. 174 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,818 It's all about supply and demand. 175 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,820 With all that shit that's going on in Mexico, 176 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,082 cocaine demand is high. 177 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,649 So if I put all my money into ecstasy futures 178 00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:58,434 and beat the margin call--Yeah, yeah, yeah. 179 00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,001 Forget it, Josh. I'm busted. 180 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,046 I'm so fucking broke I'm living with Larry. 181 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,047 - Don't you get it? - JOSH: I get it-- 182 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,223 Richard, what does this say? 183 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,661 "Pots," dumbass. 184 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,097 Really? 185 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,490 I need to get my eyes checked. 186 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,667 I know why you failed your test. 187 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:18,062 You are special. 188 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,243 Ow. What are you do--? Watch it. 189 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,636 Come on, Richard. 190 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,638 When life gives you lemons--I didn't get lemons. 191 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,641 I got a flaming bag of shit. You're saying I'm retarded. 192 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,991 That term isn't really used anymore. 193 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,863 Not in front of retards it isn't. 194 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,039 You just read things differently. 195 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,432 So buck up Zetif. 196 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,304 Zetif? Yes. 197 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,784 That is your name, 198 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,613 at least how you would read it using your dyslexic words. 199 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,049 Now you listen to me, mister. 200 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,051 Get your hands off me. 201 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,313 We are not retarded, okay? 202 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:54,708 We are differently capable. Like Bat Boy. 203 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,492 an aspiring child who is blind 204 00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:58,973 yet navigates the world using echolocation. 205 00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,017 Like a bat. 206 00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:02,193 Remind me why I give a fuck? 207 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:07,155 Uh, well, thanks to the worldwide media coverage, 208 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,809 the grant money poured in 209 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:13,204 and he was able to renovate his school and it blind-friendly. 210 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,118 Grant money? 211 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,555 Yes, sir. 212 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,254 Hey, where are you going? 213 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,169 To get retarded. 214 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:25,565 Look, lady, I'm telling you, 215 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,916 I'm a retard. I read shit backwards. 216 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,265 I'm not right in the head 217 00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:33,094 and I demand to be recognized as handicapped. 218 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,139 So I didn't win the genetic lottery 219 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,229 and catch blindness or spina bifida. 220 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,929 Does that mean I'm not special enough for a 'tard card 221 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,191 or a grant? 222 00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,585 What about this guy, huh? 223 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,805 I mean, sure, you'll call him ugly behind his back 224 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:51,025 and none of you broads will bang him, 225 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:54,419 but you don't have the nuts to recognize him as deformed. 226 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:55,725 You think he doesn't have to deal 227 00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:58,206 with adversity with that face? 228 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,643 What about this guy, huh? 229 00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:04,473 He doesn't quite measure down to being a dwarf, does he? 230 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:07,084 You think he doesn't have to reach up for shit? 231 00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,564 You think this hobbit fucker 232 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,959 doesn't get called a hobbit fucker all the time? 233 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:16,746 But no, he's just one inch too tall to really cash in. 234 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:20,707 Oh, sure, you'll take a job helping the disabled, 235 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,796 raking it in like that asshole Jerry Lewis. 236 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,233 And what do we get? Nothing. 237 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,191 Well, not this time, sugar tits. 238 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:30,064 Because I'm not leaving until I get my due. 239 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:33,241 Because I am Richard Fitzpatrick, 240 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:36,113 and I am a retard. 241 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,638 [Smattering of applause] 242 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,857 WOMAN 1: Yeah. Good for you. 243 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:41,945 MAN 1: Way to go. 244 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,904 MAN 2: You're a real retard, buddy. 245 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,036 He's one of us. 246 00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,777 WOMAN 2: We're all retards. 247 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,523 [Tires screeching][Horn honking] 248 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,394 MAN: Fucking retard! 249 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,796 What the fuck? 250 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,058 A 'tard card? 251 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,191 How'd you score that? 252 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,979 You passed the test. 253 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,807 She let me take the exam orally. 254 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,243 Were the questions hard? 255 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,115 Oral exam. 256 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,335 Oh, Richard. Really? 257 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:27,164 Just one of the many benefits of being a 'tard, Larry. 258 00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,471 I also scored a municipal business grant. 259 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,821 City gave me enough money to start construction 260 00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,170 on the Summer Wind Lounge. 261 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,911 Dreams do happen. 262 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:38,088 Wait. Wait a grant for the disabled? 263 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,394 Can you believe that shit? 264 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,178 I should have thought of this a long time ago. 265 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,789 While I applaud that you're embracing 266 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,094 your learning disability, 267 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,183 dyslexia's really not a serious-- 268 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,142 You know, I must confess, there's a small part of me 269 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,970 that thinks you might be taking advantage of the situation. 270 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,103 If those adorable Downs fuckers get free baseball tickets, 271 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,192 the least I deserve is enough scratch 272 00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,933 to open my own watering hole. 273 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,892 Richard. Yeah, but Richard-- 274 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,763 Ah! 275 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,341 LARRY: I think someone wants you 276 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,430 to give back that grant money, Richard. 277 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,040 Is that what that said? 278 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,043 But maybe it's the shadow figure who intends to murder you 279 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,349 on the beaver moon. 280 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,481 We got mangled limbs, fake blood. 281 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,222 It's just a manifestation of the prophecy. 282 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,223 [Gasping] 283 00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,834 Oh, Richard. 284 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,226 The end is nigh. 285 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,488 Really, Larry? 286 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,099 You want to let a little stage blood 287 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:35,145 and some plastic gams stand in the way of the Summer Wind? 288 00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:38,845 Uh-uh. You can't get to the top unless you step on a few toes. 289 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,412 KEN: Hey, diapers. Get in here. 290 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,423 We need to talk. 291 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,599 I'll tell you what. 292 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,079 I'll save you some time. 293 00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,689 "Everything you touch turns to shit. 294 00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,126 "I'm tired of you wrecking my joint, 295 00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:01,519 "crashing my cars. You're a curse, motherfucker. 296 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,043 You get arrested too much." 297 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,132 Well, you know what, old man? Go fuck yourself. 298 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,916 No one gives a shit what you think. 299 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,179 That's not what I want to talk about. 300 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,573 Really? Then what? 301 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,403 Come on, spit it out. 302 00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,927 [Sighing] 303 00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:20,060 [Sighing] 304 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,235 Fascinating. 305 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,717 [Snorting] 306 00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:28,285 [Sighing] 307 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,123 Ow! 308 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,646 MAN 1: Nailed him. Oh! 309 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,996 MAN 2: Good one. 310 00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,040 My turn. 311 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,085 Huh? 312 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,133 Well, hello, Don't Give a Fuck. 313 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,656 Name's Laura, actually. 314 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,397 And you're the dyslexic asshole 315 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,356 that got the grant money instead of us, right? 316 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,532 Oh, and you're the assholes that redecorated my office. 317 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,926 Little heavy with the red, but I like your work. 318 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:00,927 MAN 1: Asshole. 319 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,450 Oh! 320 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,581 I promised my boys I'd use that money 321 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,018 to start a handicapped escort service. 322 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,933 I know you're trying to scare me, 323 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,413 but all you're doing is turning me on. 324 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,067 Maybe we should talk about the building permit you applied for 325 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,460 for your lame lounge. 326 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,244 What about it? 327 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:17,073 You forgot to add wheelchair access plans to your blueprints. 328 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,466 Bad, bad boy. 329 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,163 That means that I can file a complaint 330 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,817 and have you tied up in red tape for, 331 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,037 oh, I don't know, years. 332 00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,039 Please, haven't you ever heard of a bribe? 333 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,389 Just limp along home. I don't have time for this shit. 334 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,173 You don't know who you're fucking with. 335 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,828 I'm handicapped, asshole, and that means power. 336 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,612 We can park where we want, piss in public, 337 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:37,006 touch people inappropriately. 338 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:40,053 I can get to you, Fitz. Anywhere, anytime. 339 00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:43,621 Are we still talking about inappropriate touching? 340 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:46,320 You have until tomorrow to get me my money back. 341 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,802 You can run, Fitz, but you can't smell it. 342 00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,936 Oh! Oh! 343 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,069 Oh, fuck. 344 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,984 Oh. 345 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,945 MAN 2: Slow down. 346 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,252 [Lights buzzing] 347 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:20,789 You asked for it and now you're going to get it. 348 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,101 Is this another dream? 349 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,929 You tell me. 350 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,978 This threesome ain't going to start itself. 351 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,980 Maybe we should make it a 4-way. 352 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,504 As long as it's not a dude. 353 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,767 [All laughing] 354 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,037 No. 355 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,734 No! 356 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:55,998 WOMEN, CHANTING: Fitz. Fitz. Fitz. Fitz. 357 00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:56,999 [Gasping] 358 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,522 Huh? 359 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:02,004 That retard Laura's in my fucking nightmare now. 360 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:05,094 Richard, Laura is not the R word, okay? 361 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,966 She has apotemnophilia. 362 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968 Yeah, whatever. 363 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,145 Wait, is that contagious? 364 00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,321 Why? What did you do? 365 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,452 FITZ: It's what I want to do. 366 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,498 She's on my list of must-bang chicks. 367 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:20,022 You know, amputee, midget, dental hygienist. 368 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,024 Richard, don't you see what's happening here? 369 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:25,158 Instead of making things right, you're making enemies 370 00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,638 and consequently your nightmares are growing stronger. 371 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:30,076 You need to make amends before it's too late. 372 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,121 No, what I need is that grant money. 373 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,601 Of course you did. 374 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,820 "Did," Larry? Of course I did? 375 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,344 What happened to the money? 376 00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,955 I took it out of your account. 377 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,739 - What? - Well, you left me no choice. 378 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,132 And as any good conscience would, I-- 379 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,960 You gave it back to the feds? 380 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,875 The Summer Wind money? My fucking money? 381 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:50,705 No, I didn't give it back. I donated it. 382 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:53,664 What? Larry, I've got plans to meet guys 383 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,057 to break ground there tomorrow. 384 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,798 Union guys. 385 00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,104 If I gave it back, it would have gone to Laura 386 00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,975 who abuses the system the same way you do. 387 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:03,065 So in an effort to reverse this karmic catastrophe, 388 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,111 I donated it to those who are truly in need. 389 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,809 Yeah, a group of poor, fair-trade Colombian farmers 390 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,245 that Josh told me about. 391 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,639 Yeah, they grow poppies for export. 392 00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:15,034 Those are drug dealers, Larry. 393 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,165 Then-- 394 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,124 Oh. 395 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,995 Get my money back, dickweed. 396 00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,301 Now. 397 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,436 Drugs. 398 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,092 Mother of pearl. 399 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,402 I hear you got your licence back. 400 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,925 Congratulations. 401 00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,622 You've come to celebrate? 402 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,061 You going to take your dress off now? 403 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:47,936 Oh! 404 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,634 Well, I guess this isn't a dream. 405 00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,071 From now on, 406 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,856 your paperwork better be spotless. 407 00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:56,292 Paperwork? 408 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,641 That's your big threat? 409 00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,339 You think you know all the angles, don't you? 410 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:02,124 Well, I've got news for you, mister. 411 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,823 The one angle you can't play: honesty. 412 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,089 Sooner or later, 413 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,829 you will screw up. 414 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,093 Oh, that's right. 415 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,399 You better be scared. 416 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,978 Oh, fuck. 417 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,067 Here, put these on my tab, will you? 418 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,591 Guys with suitcases don't get tabs. 419 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,594 I'll give your regards to Cabo, Charlie. 420 00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,730 Hello. Oh, finally. 421 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,906 Are you shitting me? Where's my money, Larry? 422 00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:47,038 Mm, funny story, really. 423 00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,910 I talked to Josh about the grant money, 424 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:52,131 and it turns out he invested it all in marijuana. 425 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,829 But then there was a big hurricane in Jamaica 426 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,352 and something about a margin call. 427 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,398 But you know what? In laymen's terms, it's probably gone. 428 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,095 Jesus Christ. No, no, it's just 429 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:03,316 a few dozen, thousand dollars in the grand scheme of things. 430 00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,448 Don't worry, buddy. We'll find a way to build your dream. 431 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,581 Dream? Dream? 432 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:10,323 Stop the rainbow, glitter bullshit, Larry. 433 00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,499 You just put the final nail in my coffin. 434 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,891 You're talking to a dead guy. 435 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,284 Don't you talk like that, Richard. 436 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,765 I made a mistake. I didn't mean to endanger you. 437 00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,984 But maybe they won't resort to violence. 438 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,161 You know, maybe we can sort this out the old-fashioned way. 439 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,032 With a good old heart-to-heart talk. 440 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,599 You let me know how that goes. 441 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,035 Richard, you can't run away from your problems. 442 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,341 You need to confront your fears. 443 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,646 No, I don't. 444 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:30,778 You can't outrun the moon, buddy. 445 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,996 Yes, I can. 446 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,130 Oh,. 447 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:37,045 Oh, shit. 448 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,612 How did they find me? 449 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,135 Sorry, Fitz. 450 00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:43,182 Us 'tards stick together. 451 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,794 You double-crossing cyclops. 452 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,057 MAN: Come on, guys. 453 00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:50,798 You're not going anywhere. 454 00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,626 No pushing. 455 00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:02,853 Bad boy. You didn't give me my grant money back. 456 00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,246 Give me some time. 457 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,726 LAURA: You're all out of time. 458 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,162 Saw. 459 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:12,080 I'm not going to lie to you. This is going to hurt. 460 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,168 Okay, just hold still. 461 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,256 FITZ: Larry. 462 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,562 A little help here? 463 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:16,606 Don't you hurt Richard. 464 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,219 FITZ: Larry? 465 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,178 - Larry? - Do it. 466 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,658 Come on. 467 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,007 Come on! 468 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,051 MAN 2: Just do it. 469 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:31,099 [Saw stops whirring] 470 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:34,798 You handicapable thugs ought to be ashamed of yourself 471 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,278 behaving like this. 472 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,628 Whatever happened to your plucky enthusiasm, 473 00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,151 your scrappy can-do attitude 474 00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,980 and, oh, those arts and crafts you love to make? 475 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,982 - WOMAN: Oh, fuck that. - You're sick, lady. 476 00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:47,898 Normally, I'm down with that, but you're really sick. 477 00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,291 Yeah, I tried to warn you about that, Richard. 478 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:52,076 About her disorder that makes her want to-- 479 00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:55,384 Yeah, you did seem a little turned on 480 00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,995 by the idea of sawing off my arm, toots. 481 00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:00,084 Fuck you. I was not. 482 00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,129 Oh, come on. 483 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,261 You cut off your own arm and leg 484 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,697 because it turned your crank. 485 00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,568 Put it together, guys. 486 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,744 She wants to start a handicapped escort agency, 487 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,616 she won't bang normal guys, 488 00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:11,574 she's got her own fucking bone saw. 489 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,054 I was born this way. 490 00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:15,317 You said your mother was on crack. 491 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,797 MAN 1: Yeah, that's what I heard. 492 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:19,234 Hm. Well, it doesn't matter how I got this way. 493 00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:21,149 This is how I am supposed to be. 494 00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:24,413 You hate me because I've got something you'll never have. 495 00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,285 Hm? 496 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,938 What have I got, Larry? 497 00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,549 Dyslexia. 498 00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:30,941 - FITZ: Exactly. - And? 499 00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:33,466 A crippling, God-given handicap. 500 00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,990 So what's it going to be, boys? 501 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,340 Posse for the 'tard poser 502 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,125 or all us real gimps going to stick together 503 00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:44,128 behind the velvet rope at the Summer Wind Lounge 504 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:47,871 with VIP access and free cocktails ever night, huh? 505 00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:48,872 - MAN 2: He's one of us. - MAN 3: Yeah. 506 00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:51,658 One of us! One of us! 507 00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:54,138 LAURA: Hey, come on, guys. 508 00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:56,184 ALL, CHANTING: One of us! One of us! 509 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:10,198 What are you, a ninja? 510 00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:12,635 [Chuckling] 511 00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:15,334 Am I speaking ching-chong? 512 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,031 Answer me. 513 00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:19,729 Figured you could use someone to yell at. 514 00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:23,167 - I don't need this shit. - Right. 515 00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:27,302 You need people who shut up and do what they're told 516 00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:29,957 before you even tell them to do it. 517 00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,873 People who don't ask questions. 518 00:22:32,873 --> 00:22:36,790 People you don't have to tell that you've got cancer. 519 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,096 Wait, how did you--? 520 00:22:39,096 --> 00:22:41,882 It wasn't rocket science, Mr. Fitzpatrick. 521 00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:43,579 The sudden change in your mood, 522 00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:46,452 the increase in telephone smashing, 523 00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:49,977 You're oncologist calling over and over. 524 00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:56,070 Now don't you worry. I'll pick you up after surgery. 525 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:58,942 And no, I won't ask you how it went. 526 00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:02,076 And yes, we can skip the pity. 527 00:23:03,469 --> 00:23:05,035 A man like you doesn't need it. 528 00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:07,603 You're damn right. 529 00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:08,952 I know. 530 00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:10,432 Just like you should know 531 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:13,435 that your secret is safe with me. 532 00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:16,656 [Imitating lock clicking] 533 00:23:26,056 --> 00:23:27,797 Hm. 534 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:29,930 LARRY: Oh, Richard, 535 00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:31,366 you accepted your limitations 536 00:23:31,366 --> 00:23:32,715 and used them to your advantage. 537 00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:34,151 Congratulations. 538 00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:36,023 You still owe me 20K. 539 00:23:36,023 --> 00:23:37,938 Josh! Dope, stat! 540 00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:40,027 Okay, let's see. Now we're back at square one. 541 00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,724 Great place for a fresh start. 542 00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:44,510 You got your licence back, you'll sell some cars, save, 543 00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,642 and in 10 years we'll have a resilient nest egg 544 00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:48,644 worth hundreds. Your luck is changing, buddy. 545 00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:49,645 Josh! 546 00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,168 Oh. Weed me. 547 00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:52,822 Oh, um... 548 00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:57,044 Uh... 549 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,482 Where'd you get all that cabbage? 550 00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:04,443 Oh, market rebounded. 551 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:06,967 Turned your 20 large into 50 larger. 552 00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,925 What the fuck? 553 00:24:08,925 --> 00:24:10,927 I don't know, man. I'm an idiot. 554 00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:12,233 I don't know what I did with the weed. 555 00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:14,757 No, this is enough money to start construction 556 00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:16,063 on the Summer Wind. Yup. 557 00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:18,152 Ring-a-ding-ding, baby. 558 00:24:18,152 --> 00:24:20,633 Ring-a-ding-ding. 559 00:24:20,633 --> 00:24:29,032 ♪ 560 00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,860 [Sighing] 561 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,258 Finally. 562 00:24:37,258 --> 00:24:39,782 Everything's coming up Fitzy. 563 00:24:44,178 --> 00:24:54,188 ♪ 564 00:24:59,149 --> 00:25:08,985 ♪ 39129

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