All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S02E02 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H264 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track4_[eng]

FITZ:
Everything in life
has a trump card.

Even fate.

Keep telling yourself
the world is your oyster

and eventually
shit falls in line.

You know who depends
on luck?

Losers. Chumps. Schmucks.

Larry.

Just remember,
attitude is like a muscle:

the more you work it,
the stronger it gets.

Don't worry, kids.

Uncle Fitzy saw her
and trust me,

this story will have
a happy ending.

Why? Because I've got
attitude like a motherfucker.

And that's what
the world sees:

Richard Fitzpatrick,
king of the fucking hill.

Hey.

Hey yourself.

We could do this whole dance,
but why bother?

We can both read
the writing on the wall.

I sure can.

It says you love the cock.

Too bad.

But don't worry.

It is not to scale.

♪

♪ Without you

♪ I find my smile

♪ Without you

♪ I won
by a mile ♪

♪ Without you

♪ Oh, life would be
so grand ♪

♪ Without you

♪ I'm half a man

♪ Without you

♪ Without you...

♪ Without you

Any calls?

Messages?
I just got in.

[Door closing]

Was that a ring?

If anyone calls for you,
I'll put them right through.

Who said I want
to talk to anybody?

[Door closing]

[Phone ringing]

Fitzpatrick Motors.

KEN, OVER PHONE:
This line working?

Mr. Fitzpatrick? Yeah.

Yes, sir,
the lines are working.

[Phone ringing]
Oh, hold, please.

Fitzpatrick Motors. How about this one?

Yes, sir,
all the lines are working.

Move.

I said move.

What do you want,
a written invitation?

"Kenneth Gerald Fitzpatrick

"cordially invites you

to get the fuck
out of my way."

Move!
Oh!

Don't ask, don't tell, man.
I mean, it drives me nuts.

Why can't people
just be who they are, man? Fuck!

Do I look like
a meat pole dancer?

You live with a dude, dude.

Hey, my sharing a joint
with Larry

is purely a financial arrangement.

Someone's got
to pay the rent.

Fitzy, come on.
It's Josh, you know what I mean?

No heterosexuals
in the foxhole.

Go foxhole yourself, fucker.

I did. Kirthar Range.

I was eliminating
opium lords

for certain
"interested" parties.

And my only companion
was my spotter

and the Grim Reaper.

You get to know a man
under those conditions,

you start caring in ways
you never thought possible.

You learn how to repurpose
the oil from tin meat

into a remarkably
effective lube.

Whoa! Josh!

What? If anybody could use
this information, you could.

Dude, for the last time,
I am not a penis paratrooper.

Okay, I got you
a dream catcher,

incense, holy water
and garlic,

which I know is very effective
against vampires.

Now each item is selected
to combat the evil forces

that defaced our mural. Oh!

And I got you this
just for fun.

You know, I love you
just the way you are, man.

Remember that, okay?

Fuck your dream catcher,
fuck your garlic and fuck you.

What I need to do is get my rep
back on track, and pronto.

The Summer Wind Lounge
and Hotel depends on it.

You're absolutely right.

This isn't just about certain
death on the beaver moon,

it's about salvaging
your dream.

And as your conscience,
it is my duty to support,

nay, nay, nay,
facilitate that.

I believe in you, Richard,

and I believe
in your dream lounge.

Oh.
Oh, Jesus, Larry.

Man up, will you? Fuck.

Who does my father
think he is?

Replacing me with some new
office manager.

I was doing a good job,
wasn't I?

Uh-huh, aside from having
an affair

and moving in
with the competition.

Your point?

You know, your father
has been acting

a little odd lately.

Josh, tell her
what you told me.

If you bore a hole
into a watermelon

and microwave it for,
like, 30 seconds--

No, the other thing.
About Ken?

Oh. Yeah. He totally flipped
on me the other day.

Can we stay on topic here?
We were talking about me.

And the fact that he hired
someone--

- I got something to say.
- Goddamn it.

Anyone still think
I love the cock?

Ugh.
What is that about?

About the fact that Fitzy's
back on track.

When is the last time
you slept?

That's on my to-do list.

Right after you.

Mr. Fitz.

Office or
broom closet.

Whenever you want.

Excuse me? Excuse me?
Yes, hi.

I was the one
who was talking here

before I was so rudely interrupted.

What I was trying to say
was that my father--

- Good morning!
- Motherfucker!

For those of you I haven't had
the chance to meet yet,

hi, I'm Dot Foxley,
your new office manager.

Call me Fitz.

And I need your help.
Help me help you

make Fitzpatrick Motors
a better place to work.

What would make you happy?

Tacky tourist dress-up day?

Longer lunch hours?

I don't know.

So tell me.

Petting zoo.

Employee health benefits.

Maybe.

Put them in the box.

Well, Miss Foxley,
I'm Larry.

And you know, I actually tried
a suggestion box once,

and we all remember
how that ended.

Right, you guys?

Larry, are you the new
office manager?

No, but you know--
No.

So shh.

FITZ:
Hey, you know, Donna,

I'd love to stick around
for your little welcome party,

but I'm a busy man
and something's come up.

- Sounds big.
- Oh, it's huge.

It is.
And it requires

her immediate attention.

My eyes are up here.

Yeah, but your breasts
are down there.

And mine are right here.

Oh, those they are.
Ho-ho!

Okay, you know what the--?

You know what
the suggestion box is?

The suggestion box
is a smoke screen.

That way, you don't waste
her precious time

with your ideas like petting
zoos and health care plans.

I say destroy the box.

Yeah!

[Sighing]

Those are
some interesting points.

Guess where
you could put them.

Ooh, um...

in the box.

Gold star.

Josh.

What?

♪

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Who the fuck is this?

I don't want to talk to you.

[Phone ringing]
How the fuck should I know

when your car
is going to be ready?

[Phone ringing]
I got a survey question for you.

On a scale of 1 to 10,

how fast can you go
fuck yourself?!

Fucking people.

Is this because
of that graffiti?

What?
Because you do not

have to prove
anything to me.

It's not the graffiti.
No?

No.
okay.

No. No.

Was it that thing that you were
talking about the other night?

- What?
- The-- That prophecy thingy.

This is the only thingy
I'm worried about.

Oh! Well, then I hope
no one's watching.

Yeah.

What?

Watching? Watching?

[Laughing]

I'm a genius.

Do I want to know?

Nothing says
"invest in my dream lounge"

like a leaked sex tape.

I release one of these suckers

and Fitzy is back on top
of a woman.

Of this woman?

Of course.

None of those are of us,
you know...?

Of course not.

I would never do that
to you.

You're my Ava Gardner.

You know, in the past
that kind of statement

would have made me swoon.

Then it would have made me
question my own self-worth.

Baby, what we have is special.

I know that we have
something special.

Yeah.

I just want everybody else
to know it too.

Oh, we don't need labels.

You know you're
my number-one gal.

Well, I just want
everybody else to know

that we're in a committed relationship.

Now look, you have been
through a lot recently.

And, well, your problems
are my problems.

And when you're in pain
I comfort you.

And vice versa.

Fine.

You can tell people

we're an item.

Ah, nothing says manly
like a chambermaid orgy.

We're an item.

Item.

Item.

- FITZ, ON TAPE: Hey, ladies.
- WOMEN, ON TAPE: Hi.

FITZ: Come on in.[Women moaning]

What? Oh, no!

A compromising
and filthy video

of moi on the Internet.

Oh, those motel chambermaids.

So erotic, so merciless.

Now look, if I take a look
at your stupid sex video,

will you leave
the other customers alone?

Well, I just
can't believe that--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Women laughing]

WOMAN:
Nobody wants to watch
your slutty ass.

Hm.

I thought you were
into dudes.

[Women laughing]

Right.

Hm.

Hm.
[Giggling]

Wow, that's a lot
of suggestions.

My box wasn't nearly
that successful.

It's amazing what happens
when people know

you'll keep your word.

Maybe we can go and get
a coffee sometime.

You know,
and get to know each other,

where you're from
and your hopes and your dreams.

Oh, I have a dream.

Oh.

In it, you're lying on a table

with your arms and legs
tied down.

Uh-huh.

And I'm carving
a pentagram

into your chest
with a dull knife.

And you're crying
and screaming,

but there's no mercy for you.

Because, Larry,
nobody cares about you.

They're all sick and tired
of your snivelling.

You're so pathetic,
even the devil doesn't want you.

- You wanted to see me?
- Oh!

Be a dear and give us
a moment.

Okay.

What does this say?

It says...

It says "Below me."

Actually,
it says "Blow me."

And I've got news
for you, mister.

If you want a good job,

you're going to have to do
a good job.

So until you finish
repairing that radiator...

Uh... Oh.

Oh!

Don't you have work to do?

[Whimpering]

LARRY:
What?

She said some of the most
disturbing things

I have ever heard.

It was like I was enduring
a community theatre performance

of The Exorcist.

Uh-huh.
And you know what?

I get the distinct impression
she doesn't like me.

I don't know, call it
a sixth sense or something.

Yeah.
And everybody likes me.

Well, except you.
Even though you won't admit it,

- deep down I know you do.
- Sure.

- You're not listening, are you?
- No.

Richard, I'm trying
to warn you.

You stay away
from that Dot Foxley.

There is something about her
I just don't like.

It's called a vagina, Larry.

[Knocking at door]

Hm?

"Hm."

It's for you.

Don't you have something
you could fluff?

Yes, I do.

♪

Fuck.

Richard, tell me
what is on that DVD.

I told you to wait
in the car.

No. You're clearly upset,
and no wonder.

Death prophecies, nightmares,

a new employee who's out
to compromise your conscience.

Not one more step.

Richard, I'm going in there
with you.

Okay, there is no secret,
no perversion,

no endeavour to lascivious
to turn me against you.

Jesus!

- Hey, Fitz.
- Hey, Dave.

Hi.

Okay, listen,

I am now fully prepared

for whatever is behind
that door.

Fine.

Not one word.

Good baby.

[Cooing]

LARRY:
Well...

Well, uh,

Richard, while I'm delighted

you elected to work out
your mother issues,

why didn't you come to me?

What, you want to be my mommy?
Of course you do, you pervert.

No, why didn't you come to me
to talk?

There's nothing
to talk about.

I get spanked
and then I get spanked.

Throw in a bottle of single malt
with a rubber nipple,

you got a night out.

[Fitz laughing]
Inside voices.

You want to explain this?

[Whimpering]

WOMAN:
Oh, look what you did.

You've upset
your brother.

Shh.

Fuck.
WOMAN: Ricky,

you're early.

And I see you brought
a play date.

Me? Oh, no, no.

That's extra.

I'm not here for my play date.
I want some answers.

[Sighing]

Take him, will you?

Me?

Take him!
Uh, okay.

[Crying]

Hello, baby.

[Woman clearing throat]

It's an envelope.

That contained a DVD
of our last session.

Why are you trying
to blackmail me?

You think this was me?

Yeah.
Oh, Ricky.

That would violate the sanctity
of the mother/child bondage.

Oh.

Stand up straight, dear.

Delinquents slouch.

Richard, look.

Whoever made that video

could have shot it
through that window.

It's been jimmied.

Someone broke in?

Is anything missing?

My hairbrush. It's gone.

You keep your own
hairbrush here?

Babies should never
share grooming products.

Jesus, ass hat,
that's how you get cooties.

Language.

A hairbrush with your hair
all over it?

Something a certain employee
could have used

to make a voodoo doll.

Ooh!
Oh.

Someone made a poopy.

- FITZ: I'll be in the car.
- Oh!

[Groaning]

- LARRY: Well?
- FITZ: I'm looking, I'm looking.

LARRY:
Okay.

At the voodoo dolls?

FITZ:
No, none of them are me.

Well, one of them is me, mister.

Hi, Dot.

Here's the list
that you wanted.

DOT:
Oh, thanks, Sonja.

- The mail finally came.
- SONJA: Oh.

- DOT: This one's for you.
- SONJA: Thanks.

Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

My mommy video.

Sonja! Get the others.

Okay.

Sonja, baby.

I was thinking about the
conversation we had yesterday.

About how I'm more than just
some Ava Gardner arm candy?

Maybe.

[Sighing]

I need to be your only.

I need to be the one
that you go to

for private things,

emotional things.

Like your nightmares
or that prophecy.

I mean, why won't you tell me
what that is about?

You're damn right.

I-- I should.

And I will.

Because...

that's what girlfriends
are for.

Girlfriend?

You're the one
for me, baby.

Oh.

Oh, Fitzy!

Fuck.

[Both moaning]

Now get out of here.
Daddy's got work to do.

Oh!

Fuck.

And you know,
whoever's sending these DVDs

is also responsible
for the vandalism of our mural.

You think?

And is most likely the person
that's out to get you.

Ali Devon I could understand,
but Dot?

She's a stranger.
And she's totally into me.

What about her horrible
voodoo dolls?

Ah, they're just dolls.

The fact that one of them
looks like you

- is a complete coincidence.
- No, no, no.

I don't believe
in coincidences, Richard.

Everything happens
for a reason, okay?

Cause and effect.

Like you keep talking
so I sack you in the nuts?

Exactly. Look, you think
my evidence is circumstantial,

fair enough, but there's still
something about that woman

I just don't like.

Again, it's called a vagina.

Yeah, or the fact
that she's threatening

to tie me to a table
and torture me.

She said that?

God, we have so much in common.
No wonder she's all over me.

Look, what's the harm
in going over to her place

and taking a look around?

You know, solve this problem
once and for all.

And if it's Dot
who wants you dead--

Wait a minute. Are you talking
about breaking and entering?

Look, you only have 62 days
until the beaver moon, mister.

And sometimes we have
to compromise our values

for the greater good.
Let's go!

This I got to see.

[Grunting]

Come on.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, okay.

Yes. Hold on, hold on.

Hold on. Okay.
We have to hurry.

We'd be done already
if you hadn't insisted

on stopping for gloves
and face masks.

This is my first
break-in, okay?

I'm nervous
and I want to look nice.

Yeah, whatever,
just give me a boost.

- All right, let's do this.
- Get me up.

You got it?

Okay, I'll go down.

Here we go. Nice. Nice.

Yes. Oh.

All right, Richard,

let's do this.

[Grunting]

- Give me your hand, Larry.
- No, I got it.

- Give me your hand.
- I'm good, Richard.

Oh, God. Hold on.

Whoo!
Fuck.

Okay.

Okay, I'll check
the drawers.

Uh-huh. Okay.

Yeah. No dolls,
how about you?

Well, I'll tell you
what I haven't found.

No hairbrush,
no pentagrams,

no master copy
of my mommy tapes.

Dot Foxley isn't
my shadowy figure.

She isn't a witch.

And she's not stalking me.
Why not, I'll never know.

But it has to be her.

You don't know the venom
on her lips, okay?

And she stole my idea.

Wait a minute,
is this whole thing

because you're jealous about
your stupid suggestion box?

No!

Hey, you know about
my suggestion box?

Of course I do. You wouldn't
shut the fuck up about it.

- You do listen to me, don't you.
- Yeah.

You do.
Once again, Larry,

your plan is a waste of time.[Door opening]

- I'm out of here.
- DOT: Come on in, Josh.

JOSH:
Whoa! Hardwood!

DOT:
Yeah.

- Oh!
- Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Surprise!

LARRY:
Surprise!

Yeah?
Yeah!

Welcome to the dealership.

Dealership. Yeah.

How did you get in here

and what are you doing
with my panties?

Panty raid.

It's a dealership tradition.

- Is it?
- Shut the fuck up, Larry.

So are we still
going to...?

Him? Really?

- Fuck.
- DOT: Hello, police?

Witch.

♪

[Groaning]

Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

[Croaking]

[Phone ringing]

KEN:
Fuck!

[Ringing continuous]

Fuck! Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck!

[Screaming]

Hello? Hello?

Yes, this is Ken Fitzpatrick.
Who the fuck is this?

Oh.

So how did the test go?

Oh, no, fuck protocol,
fuck procedure.

Tell me now.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'll come in tomorrow.

[Sighing]

This better fucking
cheer me up.

LARRY:
I owe you an apology.

That my ego got in the way
of being your conscience.

And that won't happen again.

That's just
fucking great.

Don't worry, Richard.

You'll find the person
who's out to ruin you,

no matter how long
it takes.

♪ Don't you know
you'll be my ruin ♪

♪ You've got me crying

[All laughing]

No. No.

No!

Huh?

[Car door closing]

[Engine starting]

♪ Why make me remember

♪ What I want to forget?

[Laughing]

♪ I've been lonely

♪ Lonely too long

[Cooing]

[Mumbling indistinctly]

SONJA:
This is--

This is fine.
This is fine.

Yeah, Mr. Fitz and I
are in an open

and understanding
relationship now.

I know he has certain
excessive needs,

and I may not always
be able to accommodate

his excessive needs.

You had a bad dream.

Yeah. Yeah.

Tell Mommy all about it.

Okay.

Look like's your boyfriend's
a big baby.

[Ken chuckling]

♪ Oh, can't you see

♪ What you're doing to me?

He's not my boyfriend.

This is some sick shit.

[Laughing]

♪ You worry my days

♪ Oh, you talk to my nights

♪ Never a dream

♪ No, those dreams never
turn out right ♪

♪ Emotions

♪ Give me a break

♪ Oh, let me forget

♪ That I made a mistake

♪ Oh, can you see
what you're doing to me? ♪

♪ Emotions

♪ Please set me free