All language subtitles for The.Bitter.Ash.1963.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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- Des? I don't feel like
going to work this morning.

Geez, I'm sick of Donna Smith.

Who the hell does she
think she is anyway?

She's always snooping
around looking to see

if she can find fault.

If something's wrong,
why doesn't she say so?

But this crap of creeping around...

you never know what
the hell she's saying

to the boss behind your back.

She's sweet as pie to your face.

I'm bloody sick of it.

I think I'll quit...
and find another job.

Des?

Des, you're not listening.

- Sure I am.

- All right. What was I saying then?

- Oh, I don't know.
Some crap about the office.

- Some... I like that!

You know, I don't think
you give a damn about me.

- Come on, baby.

- No, not that.

I know you like that.

But I don't think you care about me.

- Sure I do, Julie.

- You know, Joan left on Friday.

We gave her a beautiful frying pan.

Gee, she's lucky she doesn't
have to work anymore.

Imagine not having to go to the office.

- Boy, that's where you
girls sure have got it beat.

All you have to do is get married,

and some poor slob has to work for you

for the rest of his life.

- So that's how you
feel about it, is it?

- What are you getting sore for?

- You think all a girl
wants is some guy to marry,

so she can retire?

- Look, I was only kidding.

- I've got to go.

I've missed, baby.

- It's been 10 days.

- So?

- I've never been that late before.

Well?

Well?

- Well, we'd better do
something, hadn't we?

I guess.

I'm going to Vernon for
the weekend to see Mum,

and when I get back,
we better do something,

one way or the other...

hadn't we, Des?

Hadn't we, Des?

- Yeah, I guess.

- Laurie?

Hey.

Hey, you haven't pressed my scarf.

It's all... it's all creased.

- Well, it sure would've
swung with this shirt.

- Why don't you wear it then?

- No sweat.

Oh, Christ. There he goes again.

- Why don't you see what's bugging him?

- Oh hon, won't you?
I'm in a kind of a hurry.

I gotta go see Ron Gale
about the script.

- What is it this time?

- I gotta go see Ron about the
script and get some more ideas.

- I thought the brains trust
was coming up here tonight.

- That's why I gotta
go see Ron first.

- Well, then take Jason with you.

- Oh hon, you know how
Maggie feels about the kid.

- All right, all right.

- Hey!

Press the scarf for me,
will you, hon? Thanks.

Do you realize that Edward Albee

wrote The Zoo Story in one night?

I guess a guy has to
get married sooner or later.

God, I can see the picture.

Mama, papa, and little baby blue.

Lunch time!

- Like I said see, I got
this accordion business.

I give lessons. You want
lessons for your kids?

So I said, between them lessons, dancers,

sales, and stuff, I make plenty. Fine.

So I don't need to come in here.

What the hell? I ain't
got anything better to do,

so I might as well come in here and
collect a couple of extra bucks.

Gee, they make a great pie.

- Like wow.

I mean, just look at a flower.

I mean, really digging it, feeling it.

That's when you get that oneness.

That true integration of soul and matter,

earth and sky, one with the whole cosmos.

That's when you begin to dig.
I mean really dig.

- Look at it this way...

in 10 years, a new process is in,

and 60% of the guys...

yeah, I know they're
gonna need technicians,

but you and me, they ain't gonna need.

You can bet your sweet fanny on that.

We ain't getting any younger,

so where are you gonna go for a job,

an old, tired, worn out man of 40?

- Balls!

There's only things you can
see, feel, taste, and touch,

and you can sure feel, taste,
and touch a round, firm,

good-looking chick! And good
booze, that's what's great!

And like, man, when you got 'em both,

it's pizzazz time and ringa ding ding!

They're the things that I dig, daddy!

- Hey, he was strictly a counter puncher,

and I was an offensive fighter,

and every time I'd go to get him,

he'd get me with the left jab
in the head and the heart.

You know, like that.

I was three times down.

You know, in an amateur fight,

they generally disqualify a guy

if he gets knocked down twice.

But they figured I had a
good chance of winning,

so they let the fight go on.

Afterwards, my head was
going zoom, zoom, zoom.

That was it. I never went
back in the ring again.

They wanted me to go professional,

but I wasn't really good enough

to make it right to the top.

And I didn't wanna wind up
a punch drunk bum,

I'll tell ya.

- It's like this, see?

The play just bursts with violence.

For surely that's the creative force.

Not communication, not survival,
not sex, but violence!

Sheer, unadulterated violence.

For in violence and destruction,

there is creation.

A new beginning. The phoenix arisen.

- Yeah, but --
- Shut up for a minute.

I wanna stage my play in a
completely new atmosphere,

which gives the aura of a...
of a church, no, a cathedral!

And yet small enough so
that there's a communion

between actors and audience.

The audience shall experience,

no, be part of that terror and violence,

which will create that
mysticism of communication

for which the theater
has always striven.

Yeah!

That's it!

Yeah, I dig that.

- Hi, Des. Come on in.
- Hi.

- Hi, Des.
- Hi, John.

- Gee, let me introduce you.

This is Laurie Willard.

She's an old school buddy of Bonnie's.

This is Des Moffet. He works with me.

- Hi.

Here, John. You do
smoke filters, don't you?

- Gee, thanks Des.
That's real nice. Sit down.

- So how are you feeling?

- Much better. Much better.

How are things at work?

Still the same old grind.

- Yeah...

the bastards!

- What?

- You know, you and Bill Wager

are the only two guys
that have been to see me.

Neil McPherson says I was the
first friend he had in Canada.

- We helped him find an apartment

and fixed it up for his wife

when she came over
from the old country.

- "I'd do anything for Johnny."

Anything my eye.

- You know, Johnny --
- Scared to visit a dying man.

- Please don't. I can't stand
for you to talk like that.

- Well, it's not true.

- I know Johnny, I know,

but I don't even like to think about it.

- She cried all the time
when the doctor told her.

It must have been terrifying.

- You've got no idea. It scared me.

I've never been so scared.

Yeah, 'cause
the two kids and all,

I guess you would be.

- No, it ain't that, Des.
It's hard to explain.

The thought of dying.

Sometimes I'd wake up nights,
I'd be crying like a baby.

- Johnny, don't!
Will you please stop it?

- It's not true. Everything's
gonna be all right.

They've got this new cure
they're putting me on.

They change all my blood
and then I go on this drug.

It's one of these wonder drugs.
They've got the cure.

Isn't that something?
They've got the cure.

You know, Des, this has taught me a lot.

I'm not gonna waste my life
in that coffin anymore.

Not me, boy.

Laurie? You know I used
to think that Colin

was nothing but a glorified pimp.

But you two got the right idea.
Live for here and now.

That's what I'm gonna do
from now on. Ain't it, Bonnie?

- That's right, Johnny.
That's damn right.

You look tired. I think
you should go and lie down.

- Gee, you guys haven't had coffee yet.

- You go and rest.
- Bonnie will get us coffee.

Don't worry about us, Johnny.

- Yeah, I am a little tired.

Don't keep yourself strange now, Des.

Nor you, Laurie.

- Shall... shall we go
into the dining room?

I'll get you a cup of coffee.

- Cure... for leukemia.

Oh, hell.

You know, I've never
even been to work before?

Well, I got married before
I finished high school.

- I better be going.

- Are you going into the West End?

- Sure. I'll give you a ride.

- Thanks for the coffee, Bonnie,

and I'll see you real soon.

Do you mind if we go for a drive?

- Listening to that guy,

you'd really think he had
something going for him.

You really would.

- No one wants to die.

- Oh, yeah. Life's a precious gift,
and we shouldn't waste it.

- I agree, life's shitty, but
still no one wants to die.

- Ain't that the truth though.

You know how Johnny
spent his wonderful life?

Accumulating great amounts of debt,

scared of missing one day's work

'cause they might take away his TV set

or his car or something.

Then when he'd come home from work,

he'd sit in front of the
TV set and guzzle beer,

and now he'd... he'd give anything,

I mean anything for a
few more years of that.

God, that's a laugh.
That's really funny.

- You don't understand.

- Understand what?

Look, you work nights in a place

that bores the piss outta you.

A place where you're just a number,

a place where you can be
replaced just like that,

and the people you work with,
they're just numbers too.

And then you get married,
and what do you marry?

You marry an automat... a robot.

- Are you married?

- Don't be stupid.

- Then why live like that?

Why don't you do something? Travel?

- I bummed around. I hitched
through Europe. Who hasn't?

It was a hell of a lot of fun.
But the loot runs out.

No money, no foodie.

- You could have worked.

- Oh look, if I'm gonna work,

I want the old mazoola,

and you don't get the
comforts of home in Europe.

- I see.

- Don't knock it, lady.

Without it, you're poor.

There's absolutely no
advantages in being poor.

- So you'd rather be
unhappy and have a car?

- Better than being
unhappy and having no car.

- No matter how you look at
it, there's a brick wall.

Not too long ago, I felt
very sorry for myself,

and suddenly an idea occurred to me.

I thought how... how sorry
everyone would be if I died.

How young, how tragic, how glorious!

I ran the bath full of hot water,

and I took the blade from Colin's razor.

I was feeling truly tragic.

The tears were streaming down my face.

I put my wrists into the water and cut.

I watched the blood flow and
I thought how easy it was.

Then suddenly I was panic-stricken.
I didn't want to die.

I went into hysterical
screaming and shouting.

Afterwards, everyone
treated me beautifully,

and for two weeks, Colin
saw me as the phoenix.

- What?
- A family joke.

The stupid thing was, I
knew I had to compromise,

but I didn't know how.

Sorry. I guess it was seeing Johnny.

- No. Come on, come on.
- Forget it.

- Do you love your husband?

- Colin? You ought to have
seen him when we first met.

Maybe he's still the same,

but it doesn't seem like it to me.

I was 17. I just graduated
from high school.

I was sick of studying, but I
didn't want to go to college,

and going into an office
seemed like hell.

I started dating when I was 13

and lost my virginity rather stupidly

in the backseat of a car at 15.

I didn't want to marry any
of the Joeheads I knew,

and I met Colin.

- Stop your fidgeting.
Where are you going?

- Out.

- Well, you might as well
wear some decent shoes.

- Where's Dad?

- He said he's at a damn conference.

- There's Sally now, Mum.

- Go upstairs and put
on some decent shoes.

I don't give a damn. Who needs him?

He's an old man. He thinks I nag him.

I distrust him.

What reason has he ever
given for me to trust him?

I don't need him. I don't
want him loving me.

He's disgusting.

He isn't even capable anymore.

There's a man.

His shorts are so tight.

It's disgusting.

Oh, I could kiss him all over.

So young and fair,

so handsome and young.

It's a woman like me he needs.

Oh, I could kiss him.

How I could love him.

How I could love him.

Isn't it funny
how you always remember

the corniest things?

When I was 10, I wrote a poem.

It was a corny sonnet to our teacher.

She read it to the whole class.

I gave it to her. To her!

But she didn't understand.

She read it to the whole goddamn class,

and everyone laughed, especially her.

The boys called me "Patsy the Poet."

They tried to crush me, to humiliate me

because I expressed my feelings.

I would write poems to my mother.

You know, she wouldn't even read them.

And then she would say she had.

And of course my
parents were real square.

- This is nonsense. I forbid it!

- You forbid, ha!

- All right, all right. Are we
going to fight about it

or are we gonna settle the matter?

- I can't understand it. Why?

- Because I love him, that's why.

- Love. Nonsense!

You're still wet behind the ears.

- What will people say?
How will I explain it?

- Very easy.

Say I'm in Toronto working
or going to university.

No one will know.

I forbid it.

I won't allow it.

I'll have him up for rape!

- I'm 18, and there's
nothing you can do about it.

It's disgusting!

It isn't even as if the boy had money.

- There's another thing. I
suppose you'll have to work!

- That's right.

Why, you'll be
nothing better than a...

a common prostitute.

- Whore is a perfectly good word, Mother.

You could at least marry him!

- Mother, please. Marriage,
money, a position...

don't you see these
things are unimportant?

He's a poet, and he has a beautiful soul.

- What are you talking about?
Look at me!

I never had any sort of education.
I make $18,000 a year.

- Ha.

- There's only one way to judge a man,

and that's by his income.
It's there. Concrete. Positive.

If this fellow is any sort of a poet,

he'd be making money in hand over fist.

There's a market for poets these days.

Look at the fellow with the beard.

Do you have to have another?

- Yes, I do.

- You drink too much. It's embarrassing.

- Look, who's talking
about embarrassing who.

Why, at a party, who's
always pinching backsides?

And what about those
sluts in the office?

- We'll not going into all that again.

- I have one little
drink and you complain.

- Stop your nagging!

- Me, nag? Why look who's talking!

- I've got a sales conference to go to.

Laurie, we'll talk about
this some other time.

- Sales conference, my eye.

It's a slut he's going to.

If you stayed home more,

your only daughter wouldn't
be running off

to live with a beatnik
and disgracing us all.

I've got to go!

- I won't be here tomorrow.

- Don't say that, Laurie. I forbid it.

We'll talk about this tomorrow
when we're all feeling calm.

Ha!

We're having
a party tomorrow night.

Do you want to come?

Sure.

- It's a rent party.
It'll cost you some money.

Shall we go?

- What's the matter?

- Nothing.

- Oh, come on. What diabolical
act have I committed now?

- Just leave me alone, Colin.

- No, I'd like to know what I've done.

I mean, if I'm gonna be
punished for something,

I'd like to know what it is.

- Please, Colin. I'm tired,
so leave me alone.

- Tired?

- Yes, tired.

You know, T-I-R-E-D.

- Why?

- Why? I work, hard work
carrying food up and down.

"What would you like, sir?"

"Bacon and eggs. Yes, sir."

"Coming right up, sir."

And then I come home here

and I cook and I clean
and I do the wash.

- Look, let's not go
into all that again.

- You wanted to know why?

Well, listen. I'm sick
and tired of all this.

All the talk, all the plans,
all the lies!

- So what are you gonna do about it?

- Do about it? I'm pregnant!

- What do you say to that?

- We'll make out.
- How? Will you work?

- I can't, honey. The play!
- What'll we do for food?

Well, we can go
back on social assistance.

- Not even for a few months.

- You don't seem to understand.

The play, honey.

I'm at a crucial point.

Look, I've got this
death scene, see...

and there's gonna be a decapitation.

Oh, this play is gonna be terrific.

The whole play is gonna be --

- Left... like all the rest.

- Laurie.

Laurie, you don't believe in me.

Well, if you don't, who will?

Don't you see, I can write.
I've got it in me.

I can make it!

But I need someone to believe in me.

Everybody thinks that I
can't make it, but I can.

I'm not gonna be a failure.

Please.

Please don't desert me now. Not now.

- Oh, Colin.
- Now Laurie, don't you see?

There's really nothing else
I can do. But I can write.

And a writer is really important.

I... I'm not nothing, am I?

I'm something, baby.

I couldn't stand to be a nothing!

You do believe in me, don't you?

You do, don't you?

- Of course. Of course. Of course.

Laurie.

This play is really something.
It's great.

It's too much for a cultural
backwater like Vancouver.

It just... it just
bursts with violence.

It's got every absurdity
and nihilism of the world.

As soon as it's finished,
we'll show it around,

and then you'll... everybody
will get excited about it,

and there'll be all sorts
of money to put it on.

It'll play off Broadway.
I can see it now.

"I used to know Colin Willard.
He was great. I always knew it."

The bastards, how they'll kowtow then!

I'll show them.

This play'll show them.

We'll show them, won't we baby?

- Yeah, we'll show them.

Do you realize that Edward Albee

wrote The Zoo Story in one night?

- Okay, sweetheart.
Okay, okay, okay.

- Hey, what the hell's he
talking about anyway?

- Hey, listen to him.

You'd really think he was a t-head.

Hey, what's that you're drinking?

- LCB rot.

- Real Christian liquor, eh?

Feeding time.

- Drinking alcohol, darling?
Isn't that a little passé?

- Why, sweetie babe...
have you any pot?

- No. The town's absolutely dry.

- Toodle-oo.

- Hey, isn't rye just as good?

- Are you kidding?

Pot. Why, why pot...

with alky, you can get high,
but it's real pedestrian.

I mean, you can't bring anything to booze.

But with sweetie peat wine,
you can bring anything to it.

It's profound.

If you just want kicks, it
gives a just straight high.

It's... it's good, but nothing great.

But if you bring something
to it, why, it's profound.

I mean, not like heroin,
which is purely physical.

A great shot of lightning in
the head. Purely physical.

Yeah. Go on, have another swig.

- Come on, let's go and have a ball.

- Hey, who's the hell's that?

- Why now, that's The Vulture.

The Vulture?

- Yeah. She likes young, sensitive boys,

and then she can teach them
all sorts of new games.

She even pays for the privilege.

- Hey, come on. Let's have another swig.

- Hey, come on. That'll
burn your eyeballs out.

What the hell's your name anyway?

- Ah, what's with names?
I'm a girl and you're a boy.

What's more to know?

- Nothing.

Hey, hold it. Don't get too hungry.

Hey. Hey, lay off that, will ya?

- Lay off what?
- Don't get smart!

Just because I had some of your liquor

doesn't mean to say I'm
gonna let you lay me.

- Come on, baby.

No need to get sore.

Look, maybe if you bring something to it,

it'll make it real profound.

If not, it's just kicks.

- Hey, Pooh Bear.

Pooh Bear! Hey, Pooh Bear!

That's my man, and he's real profound.

Thanks for the alky... square.

- Hi, babes.

Hey, this is a real swinging affair, eh?

Hey, do you realize we took in 25 bucks?

- Don't you understand?

We still need $7.50
to make up the rent,

and $30 for food, and $5
for clothes for Jason.

- What do you want?

You want blood?

Come on, answer me!

If you want blood, I'll
cut, and you can have it.

- No, not blood. Just money.

- Money.

Money, money!

Why you little bourgeois bitch!
You're sucking me dry!

You're taking everything from me.

How can I ever achieve anything

when you keep tearing my guts out?

I'll get you money.

Antoinette? Darling!

- You calling me, Colin?

Yeah. Would
you come here for a sec?

- Why of course, darling.

- My wife needs money. 25 bucks.

- I never lend money.

- I know! I wanna earn it.

- Why Laurie, I'll give him
the $25 after he's earned it.

If he can earn it.

Oh, why so sad, darling?

He'll come back a wiser boy.

You'll thank me for it.

- When are you leaving?

- When you go.

- Don't you see you bug me, man?

- I can't help that. Do you wanna go?

- No.

- There's nothing left to drink.

- So?

- There's nobody left!

- Goddammit, leave. I can't stand you.

- Why do you hate me?

- I don't hate you. You just bug me.

- I wanna be friends with you, Conrad.

I like you. Why do you hate me?

- Why don't you go?

You don't leave, I'm gonna
throw this bottle at you.

- I don't have to go.

You can't tell me what to do.
You're not my master.

- You don't leave, I'm gonna
throw this bottle at you.

- Why do you hate me?

- Oh, I don't hate you.

I even like you.

But you bug me because
you're so much like me.

- I'm not like you. I'm not
like you. We're different!

I really admire you, Conrad.

- Don't you see?

I can't stand you because
we're so much alike.

- Why do you hate me?

- I'm gonna throw this bottle.

- Why do you hate me?

- I'm gonna throw it!

- Okay, go on. Throw it.

- You really want me to?
- Sure.

If you got the guts.

- Yeah. Yeah, I got the guts.

- Okay, throw it. Go on.

Throw it.

- Why do you hate me?

- Oh, so you came.

- Yeah.

I came.

- Enjoying it?

- Bunch of creeps.

You know, everywhere you go
there are nothing but creeps.

Some talk crap. Others talk shit.

This is the crap bunch.

- What have you got
to be bitter about?

- What have I got to be bitter about?

Look, I'll tell you what
I got to be bitter about.

Some guy, I don't know who,

is trying damn hard to make me a nothing

for the rest of my life.

You know, a number?

That's all.

- You don't know who?

- That's right. I don't know who.

I don't know who.

You know what I should do?

I should get a machine
gun and take what I want,

and then shoot all the little
shit pots that get in my way.

You know? 'Cause that's
happening to me right now.

I do what I'm told,
and if I don't do it...

bang, dead.

I don't play anymore.

- Bang. Dead.

You don't play anymore.

Isn't this where you
say it was good?

And I say "real good"?

- À la Hemingway.

- Love.

- Yeah, it's real poetry.

- God.
- He can't help you.

Why don't you try someone else?

- Why can't we really touch each other?

- What do you want...

stars, lights, and roses?

- Why is it always like this?
- Why not?

- Love, a four letter word.
It isn't even dirty anymore.

It's just a friendly exchange.

At least it's friendly.

- Oh, hell, I feel like a
well-used dirty dish rag.

Well try some bleach.

- You pig.

- What do you want?

If you want the money, baby,

you ask for it before, not after.

- Pig. You pig!

You pig!

- Rise and shine everybody,
how 'bout giv...

- Well, the prude at play.

- What are you staring at?
Your wife and her seducer?

Well, Colin, aren't you
going to do something?

- What would you like
me to do, shoot you?

- Do something. Be affected.

Just do something!

- For God's sake, defend my honor!

- Get out of the way.
Let go. Let go. Let go!

Don't do that! What?

- I said shut up!

- You don't give a damn, do you?

You... you son of a bitch!

- Where do you think you're going?
You can't leave.

- Why? You think you can stop me?

- Not him. He's the coward's coward.

All he can do is talk of violence.

Real thing terrifies you.

- Oh, you think so, do you?

Well, you can get away so easily.

- Take your hands off me!

- Apologize!

Apologize?

- Apologize!

There's violence for you.

Now you can really write about it.

- What do you...
what do you want of me?

What do you want?

What do you want?!

- Huh? Hi, Julie.

Huh. Anything different?

Say, listen, why don't we go
down to Idaho next weekend

and get married?

- I don't know.

I don't know.