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3
00:00:15,119 --> 00:00:16,829
[brooding, dramatic music playing]
4
00:00:16,912 --> 00:00:19,331
[Reginald] All of existence
will be gone by the end of the day,
5
00:00:19,415 --> 00:00:21,083
but whoever or whatever
6
00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:23,210
wove together space and time,
7
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:25,963
they left a way
to put things back together
8
00:00:26,047 --> 00:00:29,133
if the universe
ever faced total annihilation.
9
00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:32,928
There is a portal in the universe.
10
00:00:33,012 --> 00:00:35,181
I built this hotel around it,
11
00:00:35,264 --> 00:00:38,309
and on the other side… is the answer.
12
00:00:38,392 --> 00:00:42,563
You're a sadistic lunatic who's planning
on gambling all of our lives
13
00:00:42,646 --> 00:00:44,023
in another pointless mission.
14
00:00:44,106 --> 00:00:47,485
I can't do this without you.
Do we have a deal? [echoing]
15
00:00:49,653 --> 00:00:52,823
[Five] You and Dad made some kind of deal.
16
00:00:52,907 --> 00:00:54,492
What did you agree to?
17
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:56,077
I made a deal with Dad.
18
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,536
[panting] Why tell me now?
19
00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:01,582
Because I need you to believe me, okay?
That I did this for all of us.
20
00:01:01,665 --> 00:01:03,000
[panting]
21
00:01:03,084 --> 00:01:04,460
I need you to trust me.
22
00:01:05,044 --> 00:01:09,006
This place is a test and a trap
and a means of salvation all at once.
23
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:12,593
-Does anyone know what that sign says?
-Yeah. "Do not ring the bell."
24
00:01:12,676 --> 00:01:15,387
What you guys
need to know right now is that…
25
00:01:16,889 --> 00:01:18,140
Dad killed Luther.
26
00:01:18,891 --> 00:01:20,643
And he locked me out of the tunnel.
27
00:01:20,726 --> 00:01:21,727
No, Dad!
28
00:01:23,187 --> 00:01:25,606
-[sonorous ringing]
-And he rang that stupid bell!
29
00:01:28,234 --> 00:01:29,777
Does no one listen to me?
30
00:01:33,614 --> 00:01:36,492
The sigil is in the lobby floor.
It's the stars!
31
00:01:36,575 --> 00:01:37,868
Number Five! Quickly!
32
00:01:39,703 --> 00:01:41,455
[all screaming]
33
00:01:42,706 --> 00:01:44,416
[daunting, dramatic music playing]
34
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,501
[insects chirring]
35
00:01:48,003 --> 00:01:48,838
[machine clanks]
36
00:01:48,921 --> 00:01:50,923
[grunting, groaning]
37
00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,009
This wasn't part of the deal.
38
00:01:54,093 --> 00:01:55,761
[Reginald] The marigold
inside their bodies
39
00:01:55,845 --> 00:01:57,680
is the only thing that fuels the machine.
40
00:01:57,763 --> 00:02:00,057
[straining] He won't stop
until we're all dead.
41
00:02:00,141 --> 00:02:01,433
You're killing them!
42
00:02:01,517 --> 00:02:03,185
Everything in life has a price.
43
00:02:03,269 --> 00:02:04,478
[all screaming]
44
00:02:06,355 --> 00:02:07,565
[machine powering down]
45
00:02:12,153 --> 00:02:13,445
Do you trust me?
46
00:02:13,529 --> 00:02:16,448
[keening thrumming]
47
00:02:16,532 --> 00:02:18,242
[Five] Viktor, what are you doing?
48
00:02:18,325 --> 00:02:19,285
Stop her!
49
00:02:19,368 --> 00:02:20,786
-Don't do this!
-[console trilling]
50
00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:23,122
[reverberating audio distortion]
51
00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:27,459
[tense, frantic music playing]
52
00:02:29,628 --> 00:02:30,504
[Luther] Where is she?
53
00:02:30,588 --> 00:02:32,006
Please take your hand off me.
54
00:02:32,089 --> 00:02:33,674
Not until you give me an answer.
55
00:02:33,757 --> 00:02:34,758
Screw this.
56
00:02:37,219 --> 00:02:38,220
Something's wrong.
57
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:43,142
My power. I can't blink.
58
00:02:43,225 --> 00:02:44,643
How do we get 'em back, you idiots?
59
00:02:51,025 --> 00:02:53,027
[sweeping, dramatic music building]
60
00:03:06,332 --> 00:03:08,334
[music trails off]
61
00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:11,170
["Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt playing]
62
00:03:11,253 --> 00:03:14,381
♪ Bah-bum, bah-bum, bah-bum, bah-bum ♪
63
00:03:20,721 --> 00:03:26,352
♪ Santa baby
Just slip a sable under the tree ♪
64
00:03:26,435 --> 00:03:28,437
♪ For me… ♪
65
00:03:30,189 --> 00:03:31,315
Your play, Gene.
66
00:03:32,483 --> 00:03:33,525
Thank you, Jean.
67
00:03:38,364 --> 00:03:39,365
Ooh!
68
00:03:40,324 --> 00:03:42,660
Look at Merle. Big dick move.
69
00:03:42,743 --> 00:03:44,245
Don't be using that language.
70
00:03:44,328 --> 00:03:46,830
What? You're gonna lay me on your lap
and spank me, Milt?
71
00:03:46,914 --> 00:03:49,375
[suggestively] Nothing wrong
with a good spankin'.
72
00:03:51,543 --> 00:03:52,586
Trump.
73
00:03:55,631 --> 00:03:59,051
-Thank you for the setup, Gene.
-You are welcome, Jean.
74
00:03:59,134 --> 00:04:01,262
You just got euchred, peewee.
75
00:04:01,345 --> 00:04:03,597
-The hell with this, Merle.
-[Merle] Yeah.
76
00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,474
Let's find another table, huh?
77
00:04:05,557 --> 00:04:07,059
Game's not over, fellas.
78
00:04:07,142 --> 00:04:08,102
[Merle scoffs]
79
00:04:08,602 --> 00:04:10,729
-It is for us.
-Oh, all right.
80
00:04:10,813 --> 00:04:13,565
-So I'll put you down as a forfeit, then?
-Says who?
81
00:04:13,649 --> 00:04:14,942
League rules.
82
00:04:15,025 --> 00:04:17,820
Walk away,
and you're out of the tournament.
83
00:04:18,404 --> 00:04:19,488
[groans]
84
00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:22,950
They're back.
85
00:04:23,617 --> 00:04:24,576
Yeah.
86
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,081
[clears throat]
87
00:04:29,164 --> 00:04:30,582
♪ Santa baby ♪
88
00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:35,629
♪ I want a yacht
And really, that's not a lot ♪
89
00:04:35,713 --> 00:04:36,630
Gotta whiz.
90
00:04:37,131 --> 00:04:38,132
Right behind you.
91
00:04:38,215 --> 00:04:40,759
[sputters] Oh, for Christ’s sake.
92
00:04:40,843 --> 00:04:43,012
Come on. Don't get your boxers in a bunch.
93
00:04:43,095 --> 00:04:44,596
We'll be right back.
94
00:04:50,394 --> 00:04:51,812
I'm Dr. Jean Thibedeau,
95
00:04:51,895 --> 00:04:54,023
and this is my husband,
Dr. Gene Thibedeau.
96
00:04:54,106 --> 00:04:55,691
Don't need your names.
97
00:04:57,192 --> 00:04:58,569
Don't care who you are.
98
00:04:59,611 --> 00:05:01,905
Cash or trade, straight up.
99
00:05:01,989 --> 00:05:04,658
[intricate, elegant
classical music playing]
100
00:05:04,742 --> 00:05:05,743
[gasps]
101
00:05:09,621 --> 00:05:10,539
[Gene] Whoa.
102
00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:15,294
What do you see, Jean?
103
00:05:16,128 --> 00:05:19,757
[Jean] Oh, Gene, look. Love on Loan.
104
00:05:20,382 --> 00:05:22,968
Gene, look at the name.
105
00:05:23,844 --> 00:05:25,721
Hargreeves!
106
00:05:25,804 --> 00:05:28,390
Oh yeah. Yeah, yes. I see it.
107
00:05:29,808 --> 00:05:31,769
Ten grand for the pair.
108
00:05:32,353 --> 00:05:33,395
Ten grand?
109
00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:36,857
Best we can do is five.
110
00:05:37,858 --> 00:05:39,777
This ain't a negotiation, pal.
111
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:42,488
Ten grand or fuck off.
112
00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:44,656
Huh?
113
00:05:45,824 --> 00:05:46,825
[sighs]
114
00:05:56,335 --> 00:05:57,294
Good call.
115
00:06:04,551 --> 00:06:05,386
Hey.
116
00:06:07,304 --> 00:06:09,515
[sinister, menacing music playing]
117
00:06:12,184 --> 00:06:13,477
Nice shot, hon.
118
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,564
Knew he'd be a bleeder.
Head the size of Jupiter.
119
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,734
[menacing music continuing]
120
00:06:24,863 --> 00:06:25,864
Oh!
121
00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:29,159
[cheeky, mischievous music playing]
122
00:06:30,119 --> 00:06:31,120
[Jean chuckles]
123
00:06:32,162 --> 00:06:35,040
You knew I had trump all along,
didn't you?
124
00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:36,875
[Jean cackles]
125
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:39,920
You old rascal.
126
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,642
[doleful, rollicking country song playing]
127
00:06:55,769 --> 00:06:59,064
♪ In my hour of shame… ♪
128
00:07:02,526 --> 00:07:03,527
[indistinct chatter]
129
00:07:04,319 --> 00:07:06,447
-[woman] Where is he?
-Who?
130
00:07:06,530 --> 00:07:09,658
Don't play dumb with me, Jerry.
I know he's here. Where is he?
131
00:07:10,576 --> 00:07:12,411
Hey, Vik! Are you here or not?
132
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,081
Hey.
133
00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:20,252
Amy, what… what's up?
134
00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:21,503
You know what's up.
135
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:24,506
Call me when you grow up.
136
00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:26,550
Amy.
137
00:07:27,176 --> 00:07:28,469
[barfly] Well, that does it.
138
00:07:28,552 --> 00:07:31,346
Vik's officially blown through
every woman in town.
139
00:07:31,430 --> 00:07:34,558
-[patrons laughing]
-No, that's not true. It's not true.
140
00:07:34,641 --> 00:07:35,851
-[bartender] Vik.
-What?
141
00:07:36,435 --> 00:07:37,352
Phone call.
142
00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:43,859
Hello?
143
00:07:43,942 --> 00:07:45,652
[Luther] Hey. Long time.
144
00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:47,029
Luther?
145
00:07:47,613 --> 00:07:48,530
How's it going?
146
00:07:49,531 --> 00:07:52,534
-I'm… I'm fine. What's wrong?
-Uh, nothing's wrong.
147
00:07:52,618 --> 00:07:54,828
[chuckles] Why does something
have to be wrong?
148
00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:58,081
No, I was just calling to see
if you're going to that thing.
149
00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:00,250
-What thing?
-Uh, Diego and Lila's thing.
150
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:02,127
Little Grace's birthday party.
151
00:08:02,628 --> 00:08:03,921
Oh. Um…
152
00:08:04,963 --> 00:08:06,840
Uh, well, you know, I… I really…
153
00:08:06,924 --> 00:08:08,842
I really want to.
154
00:08:08,926 --> 00:08:11,303
It's just, you know, it's our busy season.
155
00:08:11,386 --> 00:08:12,387
It's my bar, Luther.
156
00:08:12,471 --> 00:08:15,015
-If I'm not here to watch over things--
-You should come.
157
00:08:15,974 --> 00:08:17,184
All right? Just this once.
158
00:08:19,603 --> 00:08:20,896
I'll think about it.
159
00:08:20,979 --> 00:08:22,814
[line disconnects, drones]
160
00:08:24,525 --> 00:08:26,693
["The Bad Touch"
by Bloodhound Gang playing]
161
00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:34,243
[emcee] T-minus five,
four, three, two, one…
162
00:08:35,118 --> 00:08:39,331
The man who puts the ass in astronaut,
163
00:08:39,915 --> 00:08:41,375
Spaceboy!
164
00:08:41,458 --> 00:08:43,877
[crunchy synth-rock beat playing]
165
00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:45,587
[giddy laughter]
166
00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:58,976
♪ Sweat baby, sweat baby
Sex is a Texas drought ♪
167
00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:02,854
♪ Me and you do the kind of stuff
That only Prince would sing about ♪
168
00:09:02,938 --> 00:09:07,234
♪ So put your hands down my pants
And I'll bet you'll feel nuts… ♪
169
00:09:08,318 --> 00:09:09,987
[back cracks] Ah! Shit!
170
00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:12,864
♪ You've had enough of two-hand touch ♪
171
00:09:12,948 --> 00:09:14,116
-[bones crack]
-[groans]
172
00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:17,536
[patron screams enthusiastically]
173
00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:18,745
Yes!
174
00:09:18,829 --> 00:09:20,664
♪ Come quicker than FedEx
Never reach an apex ♪
175
00:09:20,747 --> 00:09:22,499
♪ Just like Coca-Cola stock
You are inclined ♪
176
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:23,500
Spaceboy!
177
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:26,545
♪ To make me rise an hour early
Just like Daylight Savings Time ♪
178
00:09:27,296 --> 00:09:28,130
Fuck!
179
00:09:28,213 --> 00:09:30,507
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
180
00:09:30,591 --> 00:09:34,219
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
181
00:09:34,803 --> 00:09:37,889
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
182
00:09:37,973 --> 00:09:42,477
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel… ♪
183
00:09:42,561 --> 00:09:46,398
[dispatcher] You were supposed to be
on Center Street 45 minutes ago.
184
00:09:46,481 --> 00:09:49,901
-What the hell is going on out there?
-Relax, all right, I'm coming.
185
00:09:49,985 --> 00:09:53,655
No! No! My job is not to relax.
186
00:09:53,739 --> 00:09:56,116
It's to make sure you stay on schedule!
187
00:09:56,199 --> 00:09:59,995
Time is money,
and your lazy ass is costing me a fortune.
188
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:02,122
-[urine trickling]
-What the hell is your malfunction?
189
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:04,207
I got the spreadsheet
right in front of me.
190
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:07,461
Top-down, best to worst performers.
191
00:10:07,544 --> 00:10:10,756
You know where your name is?
At the bottom! In capital letters!
192
00:10:10,839 --> 00:10:12,049
Hargreeves!
193
00:10:12,132 --> 00:10:13,300
I said I'm coming!
194
00:10:22,017 --> 00:10:23,477
[in Punjabi]
Why don't you pick up your phone?
195
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,395
-It's inside. Yes.
-Help me!
196
00:10:26,188 --> 00:10:27,814
-Do we have peaches?
-We do.
197
00:10:27,898 --> 00:10:29,441
-Sodas?
-We have everything.
198
00:10:29,524 --> 00:10:30,901
-Take this inside.
-Yes.
199
00:10:30,984 --> 00:10:32,069
[in English] Oh my God.
200
00:10:32,152 --> 00:10:32,986
[horn blaring]
201
00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:35,447
Share with your brother.
Coco, stop crying.
202
00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:37,574
You're going to Linda's later.
That'll be fun.
203
00:10:37,658 --> 00:10:39,493
-[in Punjabi] What about the DJ?
-DJ?
204
00:10:39,576 --> 00:10:42,079
-Tell me what you're wearing?
-I'm not ready yet!
205
00:10:42,162 --> 00:10:44,414
-Are the guests here?
-The guests are inside.
206
00:10:44,498 --> 00:10:46,124
Give me a second. The children are crying.
207
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:50,587
Touch that horn again,
208
00:10:50,671 --> 00:10:54,257
and I'll drag you out of this Land Rover
and disconnect your brain stem.
209
00:10:54,341 --> 00:10:55,759
Do you understand me?
210
00:10:58,095 --> 00:10:59,012
Hi, Steven.
211
00:10:59,513 --> 00:11:00,389
♪ Getting horny now ♪
212
00:11:00,472 --> 00:11:02,140
[bold synth horns playing]
213
00:11:12,818 --> 00:11:13,652
Fuck me.
214
00:11:15,487 --> 00:11:17,489
[paparazzi clamoring]
215
00:11:22,244 --> 00:11:23,120
[laughs]
216
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:28,792
Oh no!
217
00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:31,002
I always wanna look good
for the paparazzi,
218
00:11:31,086 --> 00:11:33,714
so this is a job for Toss N' Wash,
219
00:11:33,797 --> 00:11:37,259
the no-nonsense, petroleum,
and artificial dye-free detergent--
220
00:11:37,342 --> 00:11:38,969
-[director] Cut!
-What?
221
00:11:39,052 --> 00:11:40,137
-Cut.
-[song halts]
222
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:41,471
[Allison] What is wrong now?
223
00:11:41,555 --> 00:11:43,682
Uh, nothing's wrong.
We lost the monitors. Stand by!
224
00:11:43,765 --> 00:11:45,434
Wait. I have a hard out at noon.
225
00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:47,394
[laughs] You're shitting me. Noon?
226
00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:50,313
Don't put this on me. I told Jill,
I have to pick up my daughter.
227
00:11:50,397 --> 00:11:53,442
-I'm taking her to a party.
-You don't have somebody who can do that?
228
00:11:53,525 --> 00:11:54,526
[scoffs]
229
00:11:55,527 --> 00:11:57,279
Can somebody get me my phone?
230
00:11:57,362 --> 00:12:00,490
Hey, hey, hey.
Hold your horses, madam. Not yet.
231
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:02,325
[Claire] Uncle Klaus…
232
00:12:02,409 --> 00:12:04,119
[Klaus] Start ignoring
the rules of the road,
233
00:12:04,202 --> 00:12:06,121
next, the whole world goes to anarchy.
234
00:12:06,997 --> 00:12:08,498
Trust me on this, Claire.
235
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:13,211
And now we go.
236
00:12:13,295 --> 00:12:14,671
Quick, quick, quick! Fast.
237
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:16,006
You are such a pussy.
238
00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:19,593
Do you have any idea how many pedestrians
are killed annually in this country?
239
00:12:19,676 --> 00:12:20,594
Watch the puddle.
240
00:12:20,677 --> 00:12:23,054
-6,977.
-…977.
241
00:12:23,138 --> 00:12:24,264
That's correct.
242
00:12:24,347 --> 00:12:28,351
One minute you're alive,
and then the next, poof, you're dead.
243
00:12:28,435 --> 00:12:31,062
Forever. That's not what we want, right?
244
00:12:31,146 --> 00:12:34,941
I wanna get home before climate change
ends the world as we know it.
245
00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:36,276
Well, yeah.
246
00:12:36,359 --> 00:12:37,277
Ew, ew.
247
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,989
Secondhand smoke, three o'clock.
Come over here. Stay on this side.
248
00:12:41,072 --> 00:12:42,783
[exaggerated coughing]
249
00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:44,576
You're fine, Uncle Klaus.
250
00:12:45,410 --> 00:12:49,873
Yeah, I know. I… I'm fine.
You'll be fine. We'll all be fine.
251
00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:52,209
[Gus] My name is Gus.
252
00:12:52,292 --> 00:12:53,877
[group] Hi, Gus.
253
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,588
I've been searching for the truth
my whole life.
254
00:12:57,881 --> 00:12:59,174
Then I found this group.
255
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,260
And it was like a lightbulb went off.
256
00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:06,556
For the first time, I heard people
talking about what I was going through.
257
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,810
-[group member 1] Exactly.
-I realized there's nothing wrong with me.
258
00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:13,271
-It's this timeline, man.
-[group member 2] Yeah.
259
00:13:13,355 --> 00:13:15,357
-It's screwed up!
-[murmurs of agreement]
260
00:13:15,982 --> 00:13:18,693
-I know I can come here and say anything.
-Yeah.
261
00:13:18,777 --> 00:13:22,405
I… I could say Sir Reginald Hargreeves
is actually an alien
262
00:13:22,489 --> 00:13:25,742
who is secretly grooming
a cabal of teenage super soldiers,
263
00:13:25,826 --> 00:13:28,912
and all you guys actually know
what I'm talking about.
264
00:13:28,995 --> 00:13:30,705
[group member 3] Keep going.
265
00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:32,958
And now,
266
00:13:34,376 --> 00:13:35,377
I have hope.
267
00:13:37,254 --> 00:13:39,005
'Cause I know a cleanse is coming.
268
00:13:39,089 --> 00:13:40,507
-Yes.
-Amen.
269
00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:45,095
[quizzical, mysterious music playing]
270
00:13:46,346 --> 00:13:48,098
Thank you, Gus. Thank you.
271
00:13:51,309 --> 00:13:54,187
How about you?
Got anything you wanna share?
272
00:13:56,982 --> 00:13:57,941
Yeah, sure.
273
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,319
Hi, my name's Jerome.
274
00:14:02,195 --> 00:14:03,321
[all] Hi, Jerome.
275
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:06,533
I'm still new to all this,
276
00:14:06,616 --> 00:14:10,036
but I can tell you folks,
what you're talking about is real.
277
00:14:11,329 --> 00:14:13,331
[sighs] You're not crazy.
278
00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:15,959
I know because I've been
to other timelines.
279
00:14:17,669 --> 00:14:19,880
I don't look it, but I'm 63.
280
00:14:20,547 --> 00:14:24,467
I spent 45 years
lost in a future apocalypse.
281
00:14:25,385 --> 00:14:28,221
And I was involved
in the Kennedy assassination.
282
00:14:28,305 --> 00:14:29,764
[group member 4] Speak your truth.
283
00:14:29,848 --> 00:14:31,725
[Five] All that's unraveling now.
284
00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:34,853
I don't know what's real
and what's not anymore.
285
00:14:36,062 --> 00:14:38,064
I feel like I can't trust anybody.
286
00:14:39,232 --> 00:14:40,066
[sighs]
287
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:42,944
All I know is I'm glad
to have found all of you.
288
00:14:43,028 --> 00:14:44,863
[group members mutter supportively]
289
00:14:44,946 --> 00:14:46,406
That's it. That's all I got.
290
00:14:46,489 --> 00:14:47,866
[group leader] It's okay.
291
00:14:49,743 --> 00:14:50,744
Good share.
292
00:14:53,246 --> 00:14:55,916
You wanna hear some real shit, kid?
293
00:14:56,708 --> 00:14:58,376
I'll take you to a real meeting.
294
00:15:01,963 --> 00:15:03,381
[bright harp glissando]
295
00:15:03,465 --> 00:15:05,467
[enigmatic music playing]
296
00:15:06,384 --> 00:15:07,677
[agent] You're late.
297
00:15:07,761 --> 00:15:08,678
I know.
298
00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:10,847
Mustache.
299
00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:11,890
Right.
300
00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:16,811
[agent] He's waiting in his office.
301
00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:22,984
The Keepers function
mainly as a support group,
302
00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:25,362
but with strong cult-like tendencies.
303
00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:28,990
Membership is rapidly growing
across all metro areas in the US,
304
00:15:29,074 --> 00:15:30,033
as well as Europe.
305
00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:32,619
It's all there in my report, sir.
306
00:15:32,702 --> 00:15:34,704
What's the organizing principle?
307
00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:39,501
They believe we're all somehow stuck
in the wrong timeline.
308
00:15:40,877 --> 00:15:44,965
Well… just a bunch of loony tunes,
if you ask me.
309
00:15:45,048 --> 00:15:48,385
Drop this Keeper nonsense. Move on.
310
00:15:49,594 --> 00:15:52,138
I think it's time you got back
to your other cases.
311
00:15:52,639 --> 00:15:54,599
Ladybug, Panama, Chicken Wing.
312
00:15:54,683 --> 00:15:57,936
-Sir, I am making progress with this.
-Now, you listen to me.
313
00:15:58,019 --> 00:16:00,772
You have the makings of a fantastic spook.
314
00:16:02,148 --> 00:16:03,233
A suspicious mind.
315
00:16:03,316 --> 00:16:05,443
A love of complexity and detail.
316
00:16:06,111 --> 00:16:09,072
A certain maturity
that most of my young agents lack.
317
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:13,535
Play your cards right,
you'll be running this place someday.
318
00:16:15,328 --> 00:16:16,913
Thank you for saying that, sir.
319
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:18,456
[music swells]
320
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,000
[Luther chuckling]
321
00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:21,251
Hey, buddy!
322
00:16:21,876 --> 00:16:26,881
Ah, it's good to see ya!
How long's it been, huh? About four years?
323
00:16:26,965 --> 00:16:28,800
Minus six months for good behavior.
324
00:16:28,883 --> 00:16:31,803
Well, you better keep that up
now that we're roommates.
325
00:16:31,886 --> 00:16:35,473
The only reason I called you is because
I need a fixed address for my probation,
326
00:16:35,557 --> 00:16:36,975
and the feds seized my apartment.
327
00:16:37,642 --> 00:16:41,104
Well, whatever the reason,
the universe brought us together,
328
00:16:41,187 --> 00:16:42,605
and I think that's fun.
329
00:16:42,689 --> 00:16:43,606
Come on. Let's go.
330
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:55,869
[Allison] Claire? Klaus?
331
00:16:55,952 --> 00:16:56,953
Anybody home?
332
00:16:57,537 --> 00:16:58,496
Hello?
333
00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:04,878
[reporter on TV]
Another catastrophic weather event.
334
00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:07,797
You do realize
that we have a TV upstairs, right?
335
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:12,385
Hey, Klaus, are you going
to the thing today?
336
00:17:12,469 --> 00:17:13,511
What thing?
337
00:17:13,595 --> 00:17:16,306
Diego and Lila's thing.
It's little Grace's birthday party.
338
00:17:16,389 --> 00:17:17,932
-Not a chance.
-Please?
339
00:17:18,016 --> 00:17:20,894
I need somebody to take Claire.
She's sleeping over at her cousins'.
340
00:17:20,977 --> 00:17:22,604
-I'm not going.
-Yes, you are.
341
00:17:22,687 --> 00:17:25,440
Allison, attending an all-day event
342
00:17:25,523 --> 00:17:29,736
with problematic family members
and alcoholic beverages?
343
00:17:30,445 --> 00:17:34,407
I mean, that's a one-way ticket
to "Trigger Town, USA," if you ask me.
344
00:17:34,491 --> 00:17:36,409
I'm just gonna stay down here in my room.
345
00:17:36,493 --> 00:17:38,328
Okay. Klaus?
346
00:17:38,411 --> 00:17:39,245
Yes.
347
00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:43,208
You have been sober for three years.
Give yourself a little credit, all right?
348
00:17:43,291 --> 00:17:44,375
You can handle this.
349
00:17:44,459 --> 00:17:49,214
Your faith in me is very undeserved.
But, hey, why don't you take Claire Bear?
350
00:17:49,297 --> 00:17:52,217
I can't. I have a big callback tomorrow.
I need to prepare.
351
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,219
Oh, which one again?
352
00:17:54,969 --> 00:17:57,097
-The Wichita PD pilot.
-[Klaus gasps sarcastically]
353
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:58,515
Wichita PD.
354
00:17:59,015 --> 00:18:00,183
Sounds gripping.
355
00:18:01,184 --> 00:18:04,479
It's a really big part, Claire,
and it's between me and one other woman.
356
00:18:04,562 --> 00:18:07,482
This is important. I can't keep doing
laundry detergent commercials.
357
00:18:09,234 --> 00:18:11,986
All right. Fine. But you owe me, big-time.
358
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:13,488
Thank you. Lunch. Come on.
359
00:18:14,155 --> 00:18:14,989
Not hungry.
360
00:18:15,073 --> 00:18:16,658
You never eat.
361
00:18:17,492 --> 00:18:19,160
-Like you give a shit.
-Whoa!
362
00:18:19,244 --> 00:18:20,912
Excuse me! Claire!
363
00:18:21,621 --> 00:18:22,455
Claire!
364
00:18:23,706 --> 00:18:25,834
Would it make you feel better
to remind you
365
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:28,419
that we were exactly like that at her age?
366
00:18:29,504 --> 00:18:30,380
No.
367
00:18:31,214 --> 00:18:33,216
[eccentric, whimsical music playing]
368
00:18:35,593 --> 00:18:37,095
[brakes screech]
369
00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:39,639
[engine popping, creaking]
370
00:18:41,224 --> 00:18:44,561
-Where the hell are we?
-Come on. I got a surprise for you.
371
00:18:44,644 --> 00:18:46,938
It's a, uh, little welcome-home gift.
372
00:18:47,438 --> 00:18:48,815
[engine clangs]
373
00:18:48,898 --> 00:18:49,941
[steam hissing]
374
00:18:53,903 --> 00:18:55,530
Yeah, don't worry about it.
375
00:18:56,823 --> 00:18:58,825
[chipper electronic music playing]
376
00:19:01,995 --> 00:19:05,039
-No, no, no!
-Oh, come on. Don't be such a sourpuss.
377
00:19:05,123 --> 00:19:08,293
Look, it'll be good for you to reconnect
with the family after all these years.
378
00:19:08,376 --> 00:19:10,628
Hey, this is not my family.
My family's dead.
379
00:19:10,712 --> 00:19:11,880
Remember? The Sparrows?
380
00:19:11,963 --> 00:19:12,922
Fine.
381
00:19:13,006 --> 00:19:14,257
Either come inside,
382
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:17,343
or I'm gonna tell your parole officer
you missed your curfew.
383
00:19:18,386 --> 00:19:22,307
You have to at least stay for cake.
No one leaves before cake, Ben.
384
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,392
[chipper pop music playing]
385
00:19:26,603 --> 00:19:28,354
Hey, sorry. Excuse me.
386
00:19:30,315 --> 00:19:31,441
What are you doing?
387
00:19:31,941 --> 00:19:34,277
-Cake.
-We haven't even done the piñata.
388
00:19:35,111 --> 00:19:38,406
Piñata first, then cake.
What the hell is wrong with you?
389
00:19:40,074 --> 00:19:43,161
What was it?
A Ponzi scheme? White-collar fraud?
390
00:19:43,786 --> 00:19:44,996
Crypto exchange.
391
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:46,497
Web 3.0, baby.
392
00:19:46,581 --> 00:19:48,750
Feds only went after me
because I'm an outsider.
393
00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:50,460
A fucking maverick like Elon.
394
00:19:50,543 --> 00:19:53,379
Well, that and you bankrupted
100,000 people.
395
00:19:53,463 --> 00:19:54,797
The whole thing was a witch hunt.
396
00:19:54,881 --> 00:19:58,551
Yeah, well, say what you will.
It's still good to have you back. Cheers.
397
00:20:01,554 --> 00:20:02,889
Ha-ha!
398
00:20:02,972 --> 00:20:04,057
Gotcha!
399
00:20:05,558 --> 00:20:08,561
Come on. It's been years
since we've been together like this.
400
00:20:08,645 --> 00:20:10,813
[Ben] Ever think maybe
there's a good reason for that?
401
00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:12,106
Where's Viktor?
402
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,067
Oh, uh, he said he was coming.
403
00:20:14,651 --> 00:20:18,821
-What about Allison?
-Oh, well, she's usually a no-show, right?
404
00:20:19,489 --> 00:20:21,032
Maybe it's better that way.
405
00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:24,202
[Klaus] Survived another one.
Congratulations, everybody.
406
00:20:24,285 --> 00:20:27,538
All right. Please call me
before you go to bed.
407
00:20:27,622 --> 00:20:28,456
Yes.
408
00:20:28,539 --> 00:20:32,043
Why don't you come on in?
Just for one little slice of cake.
409
00:20:32,543 --> 00:20:34,671
We've already talked about this.
Nobody wants me there.
410
00:20:34,754 --> 00:20:37,257
-That's not true. Not true.
-It is.
411
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:39,592
-Even if it wasn't, I have lines to learn.
-All right.
412
00:20:39,676 --> 00:20:42,637
Well, I'll tell everybody you said hello.
413
00:20:52,772 --> 00:20:55,775
The money's decent,
and I make my own hours, so there's that.
414
00:20:55,858 --> 00:21:00,196
But my team supervisor is a real dickhead.
He's always riding the stick.
415
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,322
Yeah, that seems tough.
416
00:21:01,406 --> 00:21:04,367
Most importantly,
it's just a waste of my God-given talents.
417
00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:06,661
When do you think
I'll be hearing back from the agency?
418
00:21:06,744 --> 00:21:08,955
-Sorry?
-The CIA, bro.
419
00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:10,957
-You gave 'em my résumé, right?
-Right.
420
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,918
-That's heading up the ladder as we speak.
-That's what I'm talking about!
421
00:21:14,002 --> 00:21:15,878
You told 'em I know multiple disciplines?
422
00:21:15,962 --> 00:21:19,257
Hand-to-hand. Karate. Aikido.
Hapkido. Krav Maga. Jujitsu.
423
00:21:19,340 --> 00:21:21,050
Muay Thai. Kendo. Sambo--
424
00:21:21,134 --> 00:21:23,177
Diego, I let 'em know. I told 'em.
425
00:21:23,261 --> 00:21:27,473
…in a panic, you can't get to,
so that's my new thing I'm trying out.
426
00:21:27,557 --> 00:21:29,100
Hey, whoa! Hold your horses.
427
00:21:29,183 --> 00:21:31,686
Just wait for your Uncle Klaus
to get situated
428
00:21:31,769 --> 00:21:35,064
because right now, it feels like
he's about to hyperventilate.
429
00:21:35,148 --> 00:21:38,109
Hey. Did I forget
to pack my little brown bag?
430
00:21:38,192 --> 00:21:39,569
-Claire! Come on!
-You're fine.
431
00:21:39,652 --> 00:21:43,114
-It's just a six-year-old's party.
-You're right. You're always right.
432
00:21:43,197 --> 00:21:46,659
It's obnoxious. Put that on the table,
and don't touch anything sharp.
433
00:21:46,743 --> 00:21:48,244
[inhales, exhales deeply]
434
00:21:48,328 --> 00:21:49,871
-Soles of the feet.
-Klaus?
435
00:21:49,954 --> 00:21:51,748
-Hey, buddy!
-Hey.
436
00:21:51,831 --> 00:21:53,791
Good to see ya! Come here!
437
00:21:53,875 --> 00:21:54,834
[sputtering]
438
00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:57,712
Sorry. Don't touch. Spasibo.
439
00:21:57,795 --> 00:21:59,047
Right, yeah, of course.
440
00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:01,716
He is a germaphobe now
and extremely sober. Hi, Klaus.
441
00:22:02,675 --> 00:22:03,551
Benjamin!
442
00:22:03,634 --> 00:22:04,802
Klaus.
443
00:22:04,886 --> 00:22:06,888
Wha… When did you get out?
444
00:22:06,971 --> 00:22:07,847
About an hour ago,
445
00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:11,392
but I'm strongly considering
robbing a bank to get back in.
446
00:22:13,603 --> 00:22:18,316
Yeah, but just give me a second. Okay.
Hey, let go of her! Sorry, excuse me. Hey.
447
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:20,693
What are you doing? Just string it up.
448
00:22:20,777 --> 00:22:23,154
You said you were
on the west side this morning?
449
00:22:23,237 --> 00:22:26,741
Yeah. I dropped off the kids,
and I picked up the piñata. So what?
450
00:22:26,824 --> 00:22:28,451
So this is an east side piñata.
451
00:22:28,534 --> 00:22:29,535
Excuse me?
452
00:22:29,619 --> 00:22:31,454
This is clearly an east side piñata.
453
00:22:31,537 --> 00:22:33,456
Check out the craftsmanship, the fringe.
454
00:22:33,539 --> 00:22:36,918
Okay, listen, we needed a piñata,
so I got a piñata.
455
00:22:37,001 --> 00:22:40,963
And right now, we need more soda,
so please, can you hurry up?
456
00:22:42,340 --> 00:22:43,841
Where were you this morning?
457
00:22:45,093 --> 00:22:47,136
Fine. I'll get it myself.
458
00:22:48,429 --> 00:22:50,765
[partygoer] Yeah?
All right. I'll go get her.
459
00:22:53,434 --> 00:22:55,478
Bye, Donnie. Bye, Zack.
460
00:22:57,063 --> 00:22:58,398
[car horn honking]
461
00:22:58,481 --> 00:23:00,483
[somber, pensive music playing]
462
00:23:18,793 --> 00:23:20,128
[Allison gasps, coughs]
463
00:23:21,045 --> 00:23:22,922
Oh, oh, sorry. I was--
464
00:23:23,005 --> 00:23:25,216
As you were. I just need a minute.
465
00:23:25,299 --> 00:23:27,343
[cheeky instrumental flourish]
466
00:23:27,427 --> 00:23:29,595
Tell me it gets better when they're older.
467
00:23:31,681 --> 00:23:32,974
Tell me it gets easier.
468
00:23:36,394 --> 00:23:38,271
-Once they hit puberty--
-Give me that.
469
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,452
[eccentric, quirky melody playing]
470
00:23:52,535 --> 00:23:53,494
That's better.
471
00:23:54,412 --> 00:23:56,122
[chuckles]
472
00:23:58,624 --> 00:24:00,626
[both laughing]
473
00:24:01,961 --> 00:24:05,465
You coming in, or you just gonna linger
out here like a total psycho?
474
00:24:05,548 --> 00:24:06,799
I can't. I can't.
475
00:24:06,883 --> 00:24:08,551
[Lila] Mmm. Mm-hmm.
476
00:24:09,510 --> 00:24:11,637
-You can.
-No. Nobody wants me in there.
477
00:24:13,181 --> 00:24:14,515
[wheezily] Nobody cares anymore.
478
00:24:15,099 --> 00:24:16,058
I don't.
479
00:24:16,559 --> 00:24:18,144
It would be so awkward.
480
00:24:18,895 --> 00:24:21,439
-They're over it. Let's go.
-No, Lila--
481
00:24:21,522 --> 00:24:23,524
Give me my… Hey! Give me my keys!
482
00:24:23,608 --> 00:24:24,609
Chop-chop.
483
00:24:26,277 --> 00:24:27,278
Come on!
484
00:24:27,778 --> 00:24:28,821
Li… [exhales]
485
00:24:31,574 --> 00:24:34,243
Lila! Gimme my keys!
Please don't make me go in there.
486
00:24:34,327 --> 00:24:35,745
Allison, listen to me.
487
00:24:35,828 --> 00:24:38,289
-No… Nobody likes me here.
-You're being dramatic.
488
00:24:38,372 --> 00:24:40,124
I'm telling you, nobody wants me here.
489
00:24:40,208 --> 00:24:42,877
-Please. You don't understand.
-Trust me, you're fine.
490
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,546
[rollicking chiptune playing]
491
00:24:46,130 --> 00:24:48,299
[Allison] Lila, I'm too stoned for this.
492
00:24:49,675 --> 00:24:50,801
This was a mistake.
493
00:24:51,677 --> 00:24:55,556
You're right. This is incredibly awkward.
494
00:24:56,140 --> 00:24:57,308
Uh…
495
00:24:58,017 --> 00:24:59,310
Hey, uh, Allison!
496
00:25:01,562 --> 00:25:04,315
[awkwardly] Uh… Uh…
497
00:25:04,398 --> 00:25:05,358
Hey!
498
00:25:05,983 --> 00:25:07,485
So glad you made it.
499
00:25:07,985 --> 00:25:08,945
Just…
500
00:25:10,196 --> 00:25:11,948
thought I'd pop in and say hello.
501
00:25:12,698 --> 00:25:14,033
-Hello.
-[Luther] Yeah.
502
00:25:14,742 --> 00:25:15,618
Great.
503
00:25:17,453 --> 00:25:19,622
It's, uh, been a minute, huh?
504
00:25:20,540 --> 00:25:21,541
Since we've…
505
00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:23,376
Yeah.
506
00:25:25,169 --> 00:25:27,088
Yeah. Um…
507
00:25:28,631 --> 00:25:29,840
Is Viktor here?
508
00:25:29,924 --> 00:25:34,345
No, no. He's not here yet,
but, uh, he said he was coming, so…
509
00:25:35,054 --> 00:25:35,888
Yeah.
510
00:25:37,265 --> 00:25:38,474
Okay, see you later.
511
00:25:44,647 --> 00:25:47,858
I mean, you do the job,
even though it's killing you,
512
00:25:47,942 --> 00:25:51,654
and the kids, they suck
whatever energy you have left.
513
00:25:51,737 --> 00:25:52,738
[Luther] Mmm.
514
00:25:53,447 --> 00:25:54,865
And the in-laws, I mean…
515
00:25:56,492 --> 00:25:58,494
I'm glad they're alive in this timeline,
516
00:25:58,578 --> 00:26:01,956
but that don't mean
I want them living in my house.
517
00:26:02,039 --> 00:26:05,084
[gentle, introspective music playing]
518
00:26:05,167 --> 00:26:06,502
And then there's Lila.
519
00:26:09,630 --> 00:26:10,506
You know,
520
00:26:11,507 --> 00:26:14,719
she told me she couldn't get pregnant
while breastfeeding.
521
00:26:16,470 --> 00:26:18,806
You can, by the way.
522
00:26:26,564 --> 00:26:28,524
Diego, come on, man.
523
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,653
Some people would kill
to have what you have.
524
00:26:33,154 --> 00:26:35,239
You know? I mean…
525
00:26:38,159 --> 00:26:40,661
I know Sloane and I
would have killed to have this.
526
00:26:43,873 --> 00:26:44,874
Shit.
527
00:26:49,670 --> 00:26:50,671
You're right.
528
00:26:51,505 --> 00:26:52,506
I'm sorry.
529
00:26:53,507 --> 00:26:56,093
[music swells]
530
00:27:06,812 --> 00:27:08,814
[upbeat music playing faintly]
531
00:27:10,941 --> 00:27:11,942
[Viktor sighs]
532
00:27:18,199 --> 00:27:19,033
Viktor.
533
00:27:20,117 --> 00:27:22,244
[inscrutable music playing]
534
00:27:22,328 --> 00:27:24,372
-Who are you?
-Uh…
535
00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:27,875
I need you to get in the van.
536
00:27:31,671 --> 00:27:35,049
If my father has something to say to me,
he can come say it himself.
537
00:27:35,633 --> 00:27:37,051
[sighs] Please.
538
00:27:37,551 --> 00:27:38,886
I don't wanna hurt you.
539
00:27:40,721 --> 00:27:42,431
I'd really like to see you try.
540
00:27:43,557 --> 00:27:46,352
I just… I really need you
to get in that van.
541
00:27:46,435 --> 00:27:48,646
[dark, overwhelming music playing]
542
00:27:49,939 --> 00:27:50,940
[Viktor grunts]
543
00:27:54,443 --> 00:27:55,820
[music swells, trails off]
544
00:27:55,903 --> 00:27:57,571
Diego, where's the cake?
545
00:27:57,655 --> 00:28:00,032
You said piñata before cake.
546
00:28:00,116 --> 00:28:02,535
That was like two hours ago!
547
00:28:02,618 --> 00:28:05,246
Can we get this show on the road?
I have book club tonight.
548
00:28:07,331 --> 00:28:09,417
One, two, three…
549
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:10,543
Yeah, Grace!
550
00:28:10,626 --> 00:28:13,713
…four, five, six.
551
00:28:13,796 --> 00:28:14,714
Now go!
552
00:28:15,715 --> 00:28:18,300
[Diego growling playfully]
553
00:28:20,177 --> 00:28:21,971
-Harder!
-A little more.
554
00:28:22,054 --> 00:28:23,055
All right.
555
00:28:25,057 --> 00:28:27,059
All right. That's enough. Good job.
556
00:28:27,143 --> 00:28:28,394
-Good effort.
-Good job.
557
00:28:28,477 --> 00:28:29,729
Come here, birthday girl.
558
00:28:31,147 --> 00:28:32,106
Yes.
559
00:28:33,649 --> 00:28:34,650
[partygoer] Oh!
560
00:28:37,236 --> 00:28:39,321
Wow. They really can't
break that thing, huh?
561
00:28:40,364 --> 00:28:43,284
East side piñatas
are notorious for their difficulty.
562
00:28:45,077 --> 00:28:46,579
Screw this. I'm starving.
563
00:28:49,123 --> 00:28:51,876
Out of the way, kid!
I'll hit you, son of a bitch.
564
00:28:51,959 --> 00:28:53,419
[Luther grunting]
565
00:28:53,502 --> 00:28:54,462
Oh!
566
00:28:55,171 --> 00:28:56,672
Come on! [Luther grunting]
567
00:28:58,591 --> 00:29:00,259
-[heavy blows landing]
-[child screams]
568
00:29:01,218 --> 00:29:02,720
What the… What…
569
00:29:02,803 --> 00:29:05,264
-All right, you asked for it!
-[children screaming]
570
00:29:10,186 --> 00:29:12,521
[muffled audio distortion]
571
00:29:16,358 --> 00:29:17,359
-[splat]
-[kids gasp]
572
00:29:18,611 --> 00:29:20,613
[cheeky, eccentric woodwinds playing]
573
00:29:23,949 --> 00:29:26,327
-[Allison] It's okay, sweetie.
-[Grace] My cake!
574
00:29:27,369 --> 00:29:28,704
What is wrong with you?
575
00:29:30,414 --> 00:29:31,415
I got it open.
576
00:29:32,541 --> 00:29:34,585
[siren wailing in distance]
577
00:29:34,668 --> 00:29:38,297
All right, just be cool, Jerome.
Anybody asks, you're with me.
578
00:29:41,258 --> 00:29:43,761
[partygoer] It's always so good
to see you, Diane.
579
00:29:43,844 --> 00:29:45,805
[indistinct chatter]
580
00:29:51,060 --> 00:29:53,145
[Five's companion]
These are the real Keepers.
581
00:29:53,229 --> 00:29:54,355
Best of the best.
582
00:29:55,689 --> 00:29:56,565
Oh, hey, Renee.
583
00:29:57,358 --> 00:29:58,651
People are talking.
584
00:29:58,734 --> 00:30:00,861
-I'd love to know what you think.
-[scoffs]
585
00:30:00,945 --> 00:30:03,155
[delicate, enigmatic music playing]
586
00:30:03,239 --> 00:30:04,281
Excuse me, Larry.
587
00:30:06,158 --> 00:30:09,286
[Lila] You know Hilary.
She used to know every single thing.
588
00:30:09,370 --> 00:30:10,996
[Five, sotto voce] So this is book club?
589
00:30:11,580 --> 00:30:12,873
[Lila titters]
590
00:30:14,124 --> 00:30:16,085
Will you excuse me just a second?
591
00:30:17,419 --> 00:30:19,713
You blow my cover,
I'll rip your balls off.
592
00:30:19,797 --> 00:30:21,173
You're gonna blow my cover.
593
00:30:21,257 --> 00:30:24,718
Nice mustache, by the way. What are you
supposed to be? A Greek serial killer?
594
00:30:24,802 --> 00:30:28,264
[chuckles] I'll have you know
this is top-of-the-line horse hair.
595
00:30:28,347 --> 00:30:32,268
The real question is,
what are you doing here, "Nancy"?
596
00:30:33,352 --> 00:30:36,272
Let's just say the transition
from full-time assassin
597
00:30:36,355 --> 00:30:40,317
to full-time caregiver to 3 small children
and one chunky husband is no picnic.
598
00:30:40,901 --> 00:30:42,653
I needed to get outside the house.
599
00:30:43,821 --> 00:30:45,656
I saw a sign and took a chance.
600
00:30:46,156 --> 00:30:47,575
It's cheaper than therapy.
601
00:30:48,784 --> 00:30:51,662
But you know, these losers
might be onto something.
602
00:30:51,745 --> 00:30:56,083
If everyone can take their seats,
the presentation's about to begin.
603
00:30:57,835 --> 00:30:58,878
Come on.
604
00:31:05,593 --> 00:31:06,594
[Lila gasps]
605
00:31:08,262 --> 00:31:09,263
Who are they?
606
00:31:09,889 --> 00:31:12,516
You never heard of Gene and Jean?
Sure you're part of the right CIA?
607
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,852
-Just spit it out.
-Okay!
608
00:31:15,978 --> 00:31:20,524
Gene and Jean started
the first chapter in Clovis, New Mexico.
609
00:31:20,608 --> 00:31:23,527
Since then, the movement
has been everywhere.
610
00:31:26,196 --> 00:31:27,031
Wow.
611
00:31:27,531 --> 00:31:28,699
Wowie!
612
00:31:29,408 --> 00:31:31,911
I mean, holy shit!
613
00:31:33,537 --> 00:31:38,042
Pardon my French, but look at
all these beautiful shining faces.
614
00:31:38,125 --> 00:31:39,752
It is too much.
615
00:31:39,835 --> 00:31:41,795
Thank you for being here.
616
00:31:42,379 --> 00:31:48,135
We have a big night planned,
because tonight, we will be discussing…
617
00:31:49,011 --> 00:31:50,346
[music intensifies]
618
00:31:50,971 --> 00:31:52,765
"The Umbrella Effect,"
619
00:31:53,641 --> 00:31:55,809
and how I believe
620
00:31:56,644 --> 00:31:59,772
we can return to a restored…
621
00:32:01,774 --> 00:32:04,360
and correct timeline.
622
00:32:07,947 --> 00:32:13,243
Now, what do we mean
when we talk about the Umbrella Effect?
623
00:32:13,327 --> 00:32:14,286
Well,
624
00:32:15,371 --> 00:32:21,168
some people refer to it
as "timeline sickness."
625
00:32:21,251 --> 00:32:23,253
[disquieting stinger plays]
626
00:32:24,755 --> 00:32:27,967
These artifacts from other timelines…
627
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:36,976
Like the shared memories
so many of us have experienced, huh?
628
00:32:37,059 --> 00:32:38,352
Yup.
629
00:32:38,435 --> 00:32:42,648
Memories the powers that be
would have you believe
630
00:32:42,731 --> 00:32:46,819
are just figments of our imaginations.
631
00:32:48,529 --> 00:32:53,117
A dapper dandy holding an umbrella,
standing on the grassy knoll.
632
00:32:54,159 --> 00:32:58,288
An obscure sex cult
called "Destiny's Children."
633
00:32:59,415 --> 00:33:03,585
A litter of child superheroes
in short pants,
634
00:33:03,669 --> 00:33:07,131
from which we derive
the name of this phenomenon,
635
00:33:07,214 --> 00:33:09,383
the Umbrella Effect.
636
00:33:11,343 --> 00:33:12,177
[Jean] Question is…
637
00:33:14,888 --> 00:33:17,224
who benefits from covering this up?
638
00:33:20,102 --> 00:33:23,188
The elites, of course.
639
00:33:23,272 --> 00:33:24,523
[knowing murmurs]
640
00:33:24,606 --> 00:33:29,236
The ruling class has always been
threatened by the truth.
641
00:33:30,362 --> 00:33:33,365
But they cannot stop the truth,
now, can they?
642
00:33:33,449 --> 00:33:34,575
[all muttering]
643
00:33:35,117 --> 00:33:37,286
[Gene] No, I didn't think so.
644
00:33:38,162 --> 00:33:41,623
[Jean] These artifacts are proof
645
00:33:42,666 --> 00:33:45,085
that we're living in the wrong timelines.
646
00:33:46,086 --> 00:33:47,087
And they're the key
647
00:33:48,881 --> 00:33:50,716
to bringing about
648
00:33:52,593 --> 00:33:53,886
the Cleanse.
649
00:33:56,263 --> 00:33:57,598
What the hell is the Cleanse?
650
00:33:57,681 --> 00:33:59,725
[whispers] No idea, but shut your mouth.
651
00:33:59,808 --> 00:34:01,560
[Five] Your whisper is very high-pitched.
652
00:34:01,643 --> 00:34:03,270
[Lila] Don't blow our covers.
653
00:34:03,771 --> 00:34:04,772
[Five] You're gonna.
654
00:34:04,855 --> 00:34:06,398
Is there a problem back there?
655
00:34:06,482 --> 00:34:07,483
[Lila] Shit.
656
00:34:08,650 --> 00:34:09,818
I'm sorry.
657
00:34:10,861 --> 00:34:13,405
Could you little Chatty Cathys
stand up, please?
658
00:34:13,489 --> 00:34:15,199
-[Lila] Don't…
-[Jean] I don't…
659
00:34:15,282 --> 00:34:17,493
Can't really see your pretty little faces.
660
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,373
-Oh, Papa, it's Nancy.
-[Gene chuckles]
661
00:34:24,124 --> 00:34:25,417
Hi, everyone.
662
00:34:25,501 --> 00:34:28,378
And who's your little friend?
I don't believe we've met.
663
00:34:29,588 --> 00:34:31,715
-This is my handsome fella--
-Jerome.
664
00:34:31,799 --> 00:34:32,674
Jerome.
665
00:34:32,758 --> 00:34:34,551
From the Orlando branch.
666
00:34:34,635 --> 00:34:35,761
[Jean] Mmm.
667
00:34:36,386 --> 00:34:39,056
Jerome from the Orlando branch.
668
00:34:39,139 --> 00:34:42,684
Looks like your suntan
could use a little work there, Jerome.
669
00:34:47,272 --> 00:34:49,566
Maybe there's something
we could help clarify,
670
00:34:49,650 --> 00:34:52,444
Jerome from the Orlando branch.
671
00:34:53,028 --> 00:34:54,154
No, so, um, sorry--
672
00:34:54,238 --> 00:34:58,033
We were hoping maybe you could elaborate
on the concept of the Cleanse.
673
00:35:00,577 --> 00:35:02,538
Some believe it's the end.
674
00:35:07,835 --> 00:35:11,839
Others believe
it's but a great restoration.
675
00:35:12,548 --> 00:35:14,091
What do you believe?
676
00:35:15,425 --> 00:35:18,345
Well, you're in luck,
677
00:35:18,428 --> 00:35:24,685
because we are preparing
a very special lecture on just this topic.
678
00:35:25,310 --> 00:35:27,396
Aren't we, darling?
679
00:35:28,230 --> 00:35:29,606
That's right, darling.
680
00:35:30,566 --> 00:35:32,901
If you're interested,
give us your information.
681
00:35:32,985 --> 00:35:34,528
Address, phone number.
682
00:35:36,196 --> 00:35:38,365
We'll make sure to send you an invitation.
683
00:35:39,575 --> 00:35:40,576
Both of you.
684
00:35:43,370 --> 00:35:44,371
Thank you both.
685
00:35:45,914 --> 00:35:47,457
So sorry about that.
686
00:35:51,545 --> 00:35:54,798
[Lila] Look, if these artifacts
are from different timelines,
687
00:35:54,882 --> 00:35:56,133
and now they're showing up…
688
00:35:56,216 --> 00:35:59,094
It's possible
the old man's reset didn't take.
689
00:35:59,178 --> 00:36:00,846
What does that even mean?
690
00:36:00,929 --> 00:36:02,181
I have no idea.
691
00:36:03,307 --> 00:36:06,810
Look, whatever this is,
don't say anything to the family just yet.
692
00:36:06,894 --> 00:36:08,854
All right? Not even Diego.
693
00:36:08,937 --> 00:36:11,565
Absolutely not.
He thinks I'm at book club.
694
00:36:13,275 --> 00:36:15,152
It's just easier that way.
695
00:36:15,903 --> 00:36:18,906
All right. Well, it's a good thing
I never got married.
696
00:36:18,989 --> 00:36:20,657
Too much deception involved.
697
00:36:21,408 --> 00:36:22,326
Wow.
698
00:36:23,744 --> 00:36:26,997
Didn't your dad teach
any of you Hargreeves men how to eat?
699
00:36:28,123 --> 00:36:29,166
Wait, no, come here.
700
00:36:29,249 --> 00:36:30,250
[Five scoffs]
701
00:36:36,340 --> 00:36:38,342
[somber, pensive music playing]
702
00:36:40,844 --> 00:36:43,055
[Diego] Book club, my ass.
703
00:36:44,806 --> 00:36:46,183
[siren wailing in distance]
704
00:36:46,266 --> 00:36:48,727
[car alarm wailing]
705
00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:50,812
[cryptic music playing]
706
00:36:53,148 --> 00:36:54,775
[Luther] Welcome home, brother.
707
00:36:55,609 --> 00:36:56,443
Welcome home.
708
00:36:58,278 --> 00:36:59,905
[Ben] What the hell, dude?
709
00:37:00,489 --> 00:37:02,658
You're squatting
in some condemned building.
710
00:37:03,158 --> 00:37:04,743
Condemned? What?
711
00:37:05,953 --> 00:37:08,830
Well, yeah, it's a touch run-down,
I'll give you that,
712
00:37:08,914 --> 00:37:11,625
but come on,
I've put a lot of work into this place.
713
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,503
Not sure I'm seeing it.
714
00:37:14,586 --> 00:37:16,463
[birds cawing]
715
00:37:16,546 --> 00:37:18,257
Come on, I'll show you around.
716
00:37:19,341 --> 00:37:23,095
I, uh… I read a lot of DIY books,
which is tough at first,
717
00:37:23,178 --> 00:37:25,138
but you kinda get a knack for it,
you know?
718
00:37:26,181 --> 00:37:27,182
Check it out.
719
00:37:30,686 --> 00:37:32,271
Ah, let's get a fire going.
720
00:37:35,607 --> 00:37:36,608
Oh, uh…
721
00:37:37,484 --> 00:37:40,946
You should avoid using the toilets
on the second floor.
722
00:37:47,786 --> 00:37:48,787
[Luther grunts]
723
00:37:50,372 --> 00:37:51,999
[Ben] Looks like you got mail.
724
00:37:52,082 --> 00:37:52,916
Huh?
725
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,377
Probably the city
condemning this shithole.
726
00:37:55,877 --> 00:37:58,630
No, no, no, no.
They stick those to the front door.
727
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:00,799
What's this?
728
00:38:10,225 --> 00:38:11,727
We gotta call the others.
729
00:38:12,227 --> 00:38:14,813
[Five] Okay, Luther, we're here.
What is it?
730
00:38:14,896 --> 00:38:17,941
It says, "Your brother Viktor
has been kidnapped."
731
00:38:18,025 --> 00:38:21,278
"Follow my exact instructions,
and no harm will come to him."
732
00:38:23,739 --> 00:38:26,575
All right. Any idea
on who might be behind this?
733
00:38:26,658 --> 00:38:29,161
-My money's on you-know-who.
-[Klaus] Dad? Come on.
734
00:38:29,244 --> 00:38:33,081
Dad didn't kidnap Viktor.
He doesn't give a shit about us.
735
00:38:33,165 --> 00:38:35,792
It just really hurts
when family stabs you in the back.
736
00:38:35,876 --> 00:38:37,419
[cheeky music playing]
737
00:38:37,502 --> 00:38:39,171
Five, can't you just call
your CIA buddies?
738
00:38:39,254 --> 00:38:42,966
[exhales] Well, the CIA doesn't
investigate kidnappings. That's the FBI.
739
00:38:43,050 --> 00:38:46,303
Wait. Hey, hey, no.
We don't need anyone. We can handle this.
740
00:38:46,386 --> 00:38:47,512
Yeah.
741
00:38:47,596 --> 00:38:49,598
We're not exactly a team anymore, Diego.
742
00:38:49,681 --> 00:38:50,599
Or ever were.
743
00:38:51,099 --> 00:38:53,352
Then there's the whole "no powers" thing.
744
00:38:53,435 --> 00:38:56,897
No. I don't care.
If Viktor's in trouble, I'm in, right?
745
00:38:59,524 --> 00:39:01,526
What are you looking at me for?
I'm not your mother.
746
00:39:01,610 --> 00:39:02,986
-I'm in. What?
-[Lila] Good luck.
747
00:39:03,070 --> 00:39:05,405
You can't even run up stairs
without getting a coronary.
748
00:39:05,489 --> 00:39:06,990
I'm in the best shape of my life.
749
00:39:07,074 --> 00:39:09,368
Jesus. Okay, anyway, now what?
750
00:39:09,451 --> 00:39:14,289
It says we're supposed to meet
at Sy's Dry Cleaning on 5th Avenue.
751
00:39:15,248 --> 00:39:16,708
Perfect. Let's roll.
752
00:39:16,792 --> 00:39:17,834
Yeah!
753
00:39:17,918 --> 00:39:18,794
What?
754
00:39:18,877 --> 00:39:21,129
[plucky, adventurous music playing]
755
00:39:22,255 --> 00:39:23,423
[tires screeching]
756
00:39:26,009 --> 00:39:27,010
[brakes squeak]
757
00:39:32,224 --> 00:39:34,351
Stay behind Five. He's got the gun.
758
00:39:34,851 --> 00:39:36,853
[tense, mysterious music playing]
759
00:39:54,996 --> 00:39:59,251
[Klaus] Guys! Can't you smell that?
This place is a chemical wasteland.
760
00:40:08,343 --> 00:40:09,594
[music intensifying]
761
00:40:11,012 --> 00:40:12,055
[music trails off]
762
00:40:12,139 --> 00:40:14,391
Hey, there he is.
763
00:40:14,474 --> 00:40:15,684
Looking good, buddy.
764
00:40:15,767 --> 00:40:17,477
[Klaus] Thank God! What's up, Vik?
765
00:40:18,979 --> 00:40:20,730
Couldn't make it to your niece's birthday?
766
00:40:21,231 --> 00:40:24,734
Well, I was on the way,
and then I got kidnapped, so…
767
00:40:24,818 --> 00:40:25,902
Yeah, nice excuse.
768
00:40:25,986 --> 00:40:27,237
Diego.
769
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:28,947
Do you guys wanna untie me, or…
770
00:40:29,030 --> 00:40:30,115
Oh, yeah, sure.
771
00:40:31,575 --> 00:40:33,994
[Ben] Who grabbed you?
Was it Hargreeves and his goons?
772
00:40:34,077 --> 00:40:35,871
No way. This is amateur hour.
773
00:40:37,164 --> 00:40:40,041
[kidnapper] I apologize
if my methods are a little crude,
774
00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:42,711
but this is my first kidnapping.
775
00:40:42,794 --> 00:40:44,463
And hopefully, my last.
776
00:40:45,464 --> 00:40:47,132
But I need your help.
777
00:40:47,215 --> 00:40:49,885
Well, kidnapping our brother
and pointing a gun at us
778
00:40:49,968 --> 00:40:51,803
isn't gonna buy you much goodwill.
779
00:40:52,804 --> 00:40:56,892
It was the only way I could make sure
that you came here. All of you.
780
00:40:57,392 --> 00:41:00,729
I couldn't leave anything to chance.
Especially when it comes to…
781
00:41:02,898 --> 00:41:04,149
the Umbrella Academy.
782
00:41:04,232 --> 00:41:06,818
[Diego] No one's called us that
in six years.
783
00:41:08,987 --> 00:41:11,698
Sorry, pal.
The Umbrella Academy doesn't exist.
784
00:41:12,699 --> 00:41:13,700
Um…
785
00:41:13,783 --> 00:41:14,993
Okay, but…
786
00:41:16,244 --> 00:41:18,747
[spluttering] Okay, but… Just…
787
00:41:20,665 --> 00:41:22,709
Can… Can you explain this, then?
788
00:41:25,253 --> 00:41:27,130
[cryptic music playing]
789
00:41:27,214 --> 00:41:29,049
[Klaus] Umbrella Academy saves what?
790
00:41:29,549 --> 00:41:33,011
When the hell
did we save the Eiffel Tower?
791
00:41:33,094 --> 00:41:34,429
Where did you get that?
792
00:41:34,513 --> 00:41:37,682
It was in this box of things
in the trunk of my daughter's car.
793
00:41:37,766 --> 00:41:38,767
Her name's Jennifer.
794
00:41:38,850 --> 00:41:41,102
-Where did she get that?
-I don't know.
795
00:41:41,186 --> 00:41:42,270
But, okay, listen.
796
00:41:42,354 --> 00:41:43,897
So, about a year ago,
797
00:41:43,980 --> 00:41:46,274
she met these new friends,
798
00:41:46,358 --> 00:41:49,694
and, uh, they started going
to these strange meetings.
799
00:41:49,778 --> 00:41:53,365
They're very strange people.
They call themselves the Keepers, and, uh…
800
00:41:53,949 --> 00:41:55,534
And then, over time,
801
00:41:55,617 --> 00:41:58,245
she stopped talking to me.
802
00:41:58,328 --> 00:41:59,246
Just stopped.
803
00:41:59,329 --> 00:42:02,874
And that was about three months ago,
and I haven't seen her since,
804
00:42:02,958 --> 00:42:06,586
and I believe that something terrible
has happened.
805
00:42:06,670 --> 00:42:09,589
No offense. Maybe she just
wants nothing to do with you.
806
00:42:10,382 --> 00:42:14,469
No, no. My daughter and I are very close.
She would never do this to me.
807
00:42:14,553 --> 00:42:17,305
Wait, hold on. How did you find us?
808
00:42:17,389 --> 00:42:20,433
I saw you on TV. Toss N' Wash.
809
00:42:20,517 --> 00:42:23,395
[triumphantly] Ha! See? No small parts.
810
00:42:23,895 --> 00:42:28,525
I… I've actually been watching you
for quite a while now.
811
00:42:29,568 --> 00:42:30,402
Uh…
812
00:42:30,986 --> 00:42:34,823
And I'm… I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I apologize.
813
00:42:35,407 --> 00:42:39,953
Uh, but, I mean,
she's all that I have left, and, uh…
814
00:42:40,662 --> 00:42:42,872
What do you need us for? Call a cop.
815
00:42:42,956 --> 00:42:45,834
I did. They didn't do anything.
816
00:42:45,917 --> 00:42:49,254
We'd like to help, but we're not
the same people in that picture anymore.
817
00:42:49,337 --> 00:42:51,798
Yeah, we don't even have powers now.
818
00:42:51,881 --> 00:42:53,216
Yeah, we're not special.
819
00:42:53,300 --> 00:42:54,968
Speak for yourself, tubby.
820
00:42:57,012 --> 00:42:58,763
Give us 24 hours.
821
00:42:58,847 --> 00:43:00,432
Five, what are you doing?
822
00:43:00,515 --> 00:43:02,976
-24 hours. We'll find your daughter.
-Yes. Thank you.
823
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,895
-Guys, let's go.
-What are you talking about?
824
00:43:05,979 --> 00:43:10,650
Thank you very much, Umbrella Academy.
I think you're special.
825
00:43:10,734 --> 00:43:12,736
[mysterious music playing]
826
00:43:14,070 --> 00:43:14,904
Five.
827
00:43:14,988 --> 00:43:17,115
-Come on.
-What the hell was that, man?
828
00:43:17,657 --> 00:43:19,909
Hey, why are you
considering helping that guy?
829
00:43:19,993 --> 00:43:21,286
-Five.
-[Luther] What's going on?
830
00:43:22,203 --> 00:43:23,121
[Five] Because…
831
00:43:25,790 --> 00:43:26,791
of this.
832
00:43:27,292 --> 00:43:29,419
[high, treble thrumming]
833
00:43:29,502 --> 00:43:31,421
[tense, uneasy music playing]
834
00:43:34,132 --> 00:43:38,595
What I'd like to know is how the daughter
of some random dry cleaner
835
00:43:38,678 --> 00:43:41,389
ends up with a jar of marigold
in the trunk of her car.
836
00:43:41,473 --> 00:43:44,267
How do we know
that's not just a jar of glow stick juice?
837
00:43:44,351 --> 00:43:46,853
Why don't you take a sip
and find out, tough guy?
838
00:43:46,936 --> 00:43:49,356
-I will if you will.
-Don't even think about it.
839
00:43:49,856 --> 00:43:53,735
Okay, for the sake of discussion,
let's say this is legit.
840
00:43:54,486 --> 00:43:56,321
Does anyone here want their power back?
841
00:43:56,404 --> 00:43:57,906
-No, siree, Bob.
-Yeah.
842
00:43:58,615 --> 00:44:01,326
For the first time in my life, I'm sober.
843
00:44:02,369 --> 00:44:04,537
And… happy.
844
00:44:04,621 --> 00:44:08,625
But most importantly,
100% poltergeist-free.
845
00:44:09,125 --> 00:44:11,127
[Allison] Free?
You rarely leave the house.
846
00:44:11,211 --> 00:44:14,089
And when you do,
you're wearing surgical gloves in public.
847
00:44:14,172 --> 00:44:16,049
Yeah, well, at least I'm in control.
848
00:44:16,132 --> 00:44:17,008
[chef] Showtime.
849
00:44:19,886 --> 00:44:21,388
Look at this chump.
850
00:44:22,597 --> 00:44:23,682
Angle's wrong.
851
00:44:25,266 --> 00:44:26,476
Sloppy form.
852
00:44:26,559 --> 00:44:29,437
-[chef exclaims]
-[siblings cheering]
853
00:44:29,521 --> 00:44:31,398
-Good job, sir.
-Nice.
854
00:44:31,481 --> 00:44:32,774
He is so good.
855
00:44:34,401 --> 00:44:36,736
Look, guys, it's a hard no for me too.
856
00:44:36,820 --> 00:44:38,571
I've got a bar to run, friends.
857
00:44:38,655 --> 00:44:39,698
Like, a real life.
858
00:44:39,781 --> 00:44:41,449
You're all nuts, all right?
859
00:44:41,533 --> 00:44:43,827
We should be mainlining
this shit right now.
860
00:44:44,994 --> 00:44:47,831
Look, come on, big guy.
I know you want it.
861
00:44:47,914 --> 00:44:50,083
Wait! I mean, that's a tough one.
862
00:44:50,166 --> 00:44:52,877
Come on. You don't need that, Luther.
863
00:44:52,961 --> 00:44:54,838
Your life is fantastic.
864
00:44:54,921 --> 00:44:58,883
I don't know about fantastic,
but you know, I'm… I'm managing.
865
00:44:58,967 --> 00:45:01,052
Is that where the bar is set these days?
866
00:45:01,803 --> 00:45:03,012
Managing?
867
00:45:03,096 --> 00:45:05,598
I'll do whatever the group decides.
How's that?
868
00:45:05,682 --> 00:45:07,267
[Diego] Yeah, I'm with Luther.
869
00:45:08,268 --> 00:45:09,602
Majority rules.
870
00:45:10,145 --> 00:45:11,438
[Luther] Yeah, right.
871
00:45:11,521 --> 00:45:15,400
[Klaus, gagging] You're not
actually considering this, are you?
872
00:45:15,483 --> 00:45:16,735
[teppanyaki flame whooshes]
873
00:45:17,652 --> 00:45:19,070
[Allison, haltingly] No.
874
00:45:19,154 --> 00:45:20,280
[treble thrumming]
875
00:45:20,363 --> 00:45:23,032
No, my life is great.
I have everything I need.
876
00:45:23,116 --> 00:45:24,993
Yup. Me too.
877
00:45:26,411 --> 00:45:27,328
Same.
878
00:45:27,412 --> 00:45:30,707
All right, then. Motion fails.
We don't drink the mystery juice.
879
00:45:30,790 --> 00:45:32,083
So we don't get our powers back.
880
00:45:32,167 --> 00:45:33,376
[relieved sigh] Thank God!
881
00:45:36,921 --> 00:45:38,798
I tried. You're all morons.
882
00:45:38,882 --> 00:45:40,216
Hey! Where are you going?
883
00:45:40,300 --> 00:45:42,594
To take a piss! Is that okay, Luther?
884
00:45:42,677 --> 00:45:45,847
Or do you need
to run that by my parole officer too?
885
00:45:45,930 --> 00:45:48,141
Oh shit!
I was supposed to call him at 6:00!
886
00:45:51,728 --> 00:45:54,147
-Is that what I think it is?
-Yeah, it is!
887
00:45:54,856 --> 00:45:57,901
-That's disgusting.
-All right, I gotta hit the road.
888
00:45:57,984 --> 00:45:59,068
No, so soon?
889
00:45:59,152 --> 00:46:00,737
Come on, Vik! Stay a bit longer!
890
00:46:00,820 --> 00:46:02,363
No, wait! Stay, man!
891
00:46:02,447 --> 00:46:04,657
It's just such a long drive. So, yeah.
892
00:46:04,741 --> 00:46:06,910
I should go too.
I've got an audition tomorrow.
893
00:46:08,453 --> 00:46:13,333
Like a big, important audition,
and we have to boot camp the lines!
894
00:46:13,416 --> 00:46:15,668
You've gotta drive the kids
to the dentist at 7:00 a.m.
895
00:46:15,752 --> 00:46:18,922
[stilted laughter]
Why you gotta make it so early again?
896
00:46:19,005 --> 00:46:20,590
Because they have school at 8:00.
897
00:46:20,673 --> 00:46:23,468
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey! Where's everyone going?
898
00:46:23,551 --> 00:46:25,970
We haven't even gotten to the steak yet!
899
00:46:26,054 --> 00:46:27,472
-Party's over.
-No! No!
900
00:46:27,555 --> 00:46:30,600
Okay. One last shot, on me.
901
00:46:30,683 --> 00:46:32,101
For old time's sake.
902
00:46:32,644 --> 00:46:33,603
Please!
903
00:46:34,395 --> 00:46:35,855
-Klaus!
-[Klaus] No!
904
00:46:35,939 --> 00:46:38,233
-Ignore him!
-Come on. He doesn't drink.
905
00:46:38,316 --> 00:46:39,859
Sake doesn't count.
906
00:46:39,943 --> 00:46:41,611
-[Ben] Exactly.
-It doesn't?
907
00:46:41,694 --> 00:46:43,905
-[Diego] Hey. Dude's sober.
-[Ben] Thank you.
908
00:46:43,988 --> 00:46:47,200
[delicate, suspenseful music playing]
909
00:46:47,283 --> 00:46:48,535
[Ben] Okay, then.
910
00:46:48,618 --> 00:46:52,080
Here's to the nonexistent
Umbrella Academy!
911
00:46:52,664 --> 00:46:53,790
Kanpai!
912
00:46:53,873 --> 00:46:54,874
[all] Kanpai!
913
00:46:55,959 --> 00:46:57,961
[somber, heartfelt music playing]
914
00:46:58,920 --> 00:46:59,754
Thank you!
915
00:47:07,512 --> 00:47:08,596
Hey! You comin'?
916
00:47:09,931 --> 00:47:13,810
I'm gonna savor my last minutes of freedom
and finish this shrimp, if you don't mind.
917
00:47:13,893 --> 00:47:15,603
[Luther clears throat]
918
00:47:15,687 --> 00:47:16,771
What about curfew?
919
00:47:17,522 --> 00:47:21,484
Relax, Captain Tight-ass.
I'll meet you back at your shithole later.
920
00:47:23,236 --> 00:47:24,529
Captain Tight-ass?
921
00:47:32,704 --> 00:47:34,706
[steady, treble thrumming]
922
00:47:44,340 --> 00:47:46,718
See ya on the other side, fuckfaces.
923
00:47:48,970 --> 00:47:50,889
[suspenseful music intensifying]
924
00:47:50,972 --> 00:47:51,973
[music trails off]
925
00:47:53,433 --> 00:47:54,434
["The Bad Touch" playing]
926
00:47:54,517 --> 00:47:57,020
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
927
00:47:57,103 --> 00:48:01,024
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
928
00:48:01,107 --> 00:48:01,941
♪ Do it again now ♪
929
00:48:02,025 --> 00:48:04,819
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
930
00:48:04,903 --> 00:48:08,823
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
931
00:48:08,907 --> 00:48:09,741
♪ Getting horny now ♪
932
00:48:09,824 --> 00:48:11,826
[bold synth horns playing]
933
00:48:40,939 --> 00:48:44,275
♪ Love, the kind you clean up
With a mop and bucket ♪
934
00:48:44,359 --> 00:48:47,987
♪ Like the lost catacombs of Egypt
Only God knows where we stuck it ♪
935
00:48:48,071 --> 00:48:49,113
♪ Hieroglyphics ♪
936
00:48:49,197 --> 00:48:51,950
♪ Let me be Pacific
I wanna be down in your South Seas ♪
937
00:48:52,033 --> 00:48:54,118
♪ But I got this notion
that the motion of your ocean ♪
938
00:48:54,202 --> 00:48:55,745
♪ Means small craft advisory ♪
939
00:48:55,828 --> 00:48:59,624
♪ So if I capsize on your thighs
High tide, B-5, you sunk my battleship ♪
940
00:48:59,707 --> 00:49:03,336
♪ Please turn me on
I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip ♪
941
00:49:03,419 --> 00:49:05,421
♪ So show me yours, I'll show you mine ♪
942
00:49:05,505 --> 00:49:07,632
♪ Tool time
You'll Lovett just like Lyle ♪
943
00:49:07,715 --> 00:49:09,425
♪ And then we'll do it doggy style
944
00:49:09,509 --> 00:49:12,095
-♪ So we can both watch X-Files ♪
-♪ Do it now ♪
945
00:49:12,178 --> 00:49:15,056
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
946
00:49:15,139 --> 00:49:18,977
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
947
00:49:19,060 --> 00:49:19,936
♪ Do it again now ♪
948
00:49:20,019 --> 00:49:22,855
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
949
00:49:22,939 --> 00:49:26,943
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
950
00:49:27,026 --> 00:49:29,529
-♪ Getting horny now ♪
-[bold synth horns playing]
951
00:49:43,418 --> 00:49:46,254
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
952
00:49:46,337 --> 00:49:50,258
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
953
00:49:50,341 --> 00:49:51,175
♪ Do it again now ♪
954
00:49:51,259 --> 00:49:54,095
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
955
00:49:54,178 --> 00:49:58,224
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
956
00:49:59,058 --> 00:50:01,853
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
957
00:50:01,936 --> 00:50:05,732
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
958
00:50:05,815 --> 00:50:06,774
♪ Do it again now ♪
959
00:50:06,858 --> 00:50:09,694
♪ You and me, baby
Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
960
00:50:09,777 --> 00:50:13,614
♪ So let's do it like they do
On the Discovery Channel ♪
961
00:50:13,698 --> 00:50:16,492
-♪ Getting horny now ♪
-[bold synth horns playing]
962
00:50:16,492 --> 00:50:21,492
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963
00:50:16,492 --> 00:50:26,492
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