All language subtitles for Get.Smart.1965.S04E26.REMASTERED.DVDRip.XviD-FQM

Chief's voice: in our previous
Episode, smart was assigned

to protect control
Agent michael kendall

who was on his way to london
Carrying top secret information.

but kaos managed
To kidnap kendall

from under smart's very nose.

kendall was the 21st
Control agent to disappear

in the last six months,

and kaos wasn't stopping there.

the news of my disappearance
Staggered control.

Well, I have worse
News than that...

Harvey just closed the control
Delicatessen and went home.

They must be keeping them
Prisoner somewhere, max. But where?

Chief's voice: what max
And 99 didn't know then

was that we were all being
Held in a prisoner-of-war camp

somewhere in new jersey,

run by that infamous
Kaos agent, siegfried.

Prisoners of camp gitchie goomee

Noonee wa-wa, arriving today

From our glorious
Fatherland... South america...

Is a man who will take you
Behind the iron curtain...

Major fritz kessler.

That's right,
Major fritz kessler,

The beast of buenos aires.

Chief's voice: smart, posing
As major fritz kessler,

managed to infiltrate
The camp with the intention

of organizing a mass escape.

Max, you'll never
Get away with it.

Siegfried will recognize you.

You'll probably laugh,

But you remind of control
Agent maxwell smart.

That is the funniest thing

I've ever heard, siegfried.

Maxwell smart, eh?

You have a delightful
Sense of humor.

I drink to it.

no, really. If not
For the eye patch

And the mustache on
Your glass, I would swear...

On your glass! You
Are maxwell smart!

Stop him!

- never mind, starker.
- but he'll get away, siegfried.

I don't think so. This window
Overlooks the kennels.

He'll be torn to shreds!

Starker, release the dogs.

Excuse me.

Starker... What
Happened to the dogs?

Well, remember the prisoner

Who escaped into
The woods last week?

- and we sent the dogs after him?
- yeah.

Well, the prisoner came back,

But the dogs kept going.

You fool! Why
Didn't you tell me?!

Well, I didn't want to
Upset you, siegfried.

At least I got them on
Tape before they left.

- starker.
- yeah?

Why did the dogs run away?

- didn't like the food.
- what did you feed them?

The same thing we
Feed the prisoners.

You fed that to the dogs?!

- ja. why?
- you're stupid!

You're could have
Made them sick!

But, siegfried, I was only...

Trying to help.

Starker, take smart
Back to the compound.

- schnell.
- ja.

Move, get him back
To the compound!

Well, max, I wasn't
Able to hear much.

I had to stay undercover.
But I did hear one thing...

I overheard siegfried say the real
Major kessler will be arriving here

Some time next week.

And you know what
That means, max?

- a party?
- yes, a farewell party.

Kessler will be taking all
Of us behind the iron curtain

And then he will brainwash us.

And then what
Will he do with us?

We'll return to washington
Where we'll resume our duties

- as control agents.
- but we'll really be working for kaos,

And we'll be helpless
To do anything about it.

Well chief, let's look at
The bright side of things.

What bright side?

While I understand that kaos
Pays a lot more than control.

- max!
- besides that,

They have a great
Health and welfare plan.

Don't you realize

That once kessler gets
Behind the iron curtain

- it'll be the end of control?
- not if we escape before he gets here.

We've tried everything, 86.
This camp is escape-proof.

There must be some
Way to get out of here.

Let me take a look at this.

What's on the other
Side of these trees?

It's an electric fence. It
Encircles the entire camp

And they keep a current
Running through it 24 hours a day.

How much of an electrical
Charge runs through the fence?

Ask penwick. He tried
To climb over it once.

Man, the electricity
That went through me...

I'm lucky to be alive.

Looks all right to me.

Max, when penwick
Got here he was white!

Well, max?

Chief, I have two ideas
Running through my head.

Now one of them is not so hot,

But the other
One is sensational.

- well, let's hear it.
- okay.

We tell siegfried that we're gonna
Send a package home for the holidays.

Then all 23 of us get
Inside the package.

- that's a terrible plan!
- oh.

Would you like to hear
The one that is not so hot?

Max, the mass escape
Is virtually impossible.

Our best bet is to
Send one man out,

Have him summon help and then
Come back for the rest of us.

The chief is
Absolutely right, max,

And that man should be
You. You've just arrived.

You're more physically up to it.

Oh... Wait a minute, chief.

The laundry truck. Isn't there a laundry
Truck that comes by here everyday?

Yeah, that's the truck that picks
Up the laundry right out here

- and takes it into town.
- all right, chief. Here's my plan...

Which laundry bag is max in?

- the one with the two xs on it.
- oh.

He made it. In a few
Minutes max will be in town

And on his way for help.

Hello, chief of control.

I trust you are
Enjoying your stay

At camp gitchie
Goomee noonee wa-wa.

Oh, by the way, you might
Be interested to know

We have some changes.

effective immediately,

We will no longer be
Sending our laundry out.

from now on, the
Laundry will be done here

In the camp... In that lake.

Oh, no!

Can't you sweep without
Making so much dust?

I'll wait outside.
und make it snappy.

Quick. Max will be at the
Fence any moment now.

He'll need approximately 15
Seconds to get over the fence

After we short-circuit the
Current. Here's a screwdriver.

- right, chief.
- wait till I give you the word.

ready? now!

- we did it.
- what happened?

Oh. I don't know, a
Fuse must have blown.

The lights are off
All over the camp.

- oh, that's too bad, siegfried.
- starker?

- jawohl, mein kommandant?
- roll on the auxiliary power.

ja!

Max: yee-oww!

Let me get this straight, smart.

You are challenging
Me to a race?

That's right, starker, from
Here to the gate and back again.

You realize, of course, that
I was the all-time track star

Of the third reich und the
Second man out of el alamein?

- the second?
- siegfried was first.

If you're that good, starker,
I'll tell you what we will do:

Let's make it a 100-yard dash.

- 100 yards?
- yes. What do you think, chief?

That should just
About do it, shouldn't it?

Of course, you realize you'll have to
Open the gate and go halfway up the road.

I know that.

Schultz, open the gate!

You wouldn't care to make
A little wager on the side,

- would you, smart?
- yes, I think so, starker.

How about $5?

All right, 20 marks.

Oh, I'm afraid I
Can't go that high.

- max, 20 marks is $5.
- oh.

Then I can go that high.

- very well. You will hold the money.
- right.

And you will also be the
Starter. You count to three,

- then yell "Bang."
- on your mark...

Get set... One,
Two, three, bang!

- go, max! Hurry up!
- go!

He's out the gate,
He's got it made.

- attaboy, max!
- he's at the halfway mark.

He's way ahead of starker!

Why is he turning around?

- max, what are you doing?!
- I beat him, chief.

Max, you were out the gate.
Why didn't you keep going?

And lose five bucks?

Smart... Smart, smart!

You won the race, but
You almost lost your life.

- what do you mean?
- well, had you kept going...

I don't understand it,
Chief... Every move we've made,

Siegfried has been right
There. It's almost as if he knew

What we were
Planning in advance.

I think he did know, max.

That's impossible, chief. The
Only ones who knew our plans

Were control prisoners.

I don't know who it is, max,

But one of us is an informer.

Thanks to you, we have
Successfully thwarted

Every escape attempt
They have made.

Keep up the good work.

He's gone.

Okay, chief, go ahead.

I've gotten word that major
Kessler is arriving in two days.

- we'd better start packing.
- no, max,

We'd better start digging.

You mean we're gonna try and
Tunnel our way out of here, chief?

Exactly. And we've got
To finish digging out

Within 48 hours.

Why bother digging a tunnel

When the informer's bound to
Tell siegfried what we're up to?

- that's part of my plan.
- what plan?

I've been thinking
About this for two days.

We'll tell everyone
That we are tunneling

Toward the east fence. The
Informer will tell siegfried

And siegfried will be waiting
For us outside the east fence.

- that's a terrible plan.
- I haven't finished yet, max.

While siegfried is waiting
For us outside the east fence,

We will actually be tunneling
Toward the west fence.

- well, that's a little better.
- now this is the most important part...

You three are the
Only ones I can trust.

So we've got to make the others
Believe that we are really going

Toward the east fence. Here,
Let me draw you a diagram.

This is the east fence, right?

- both: right.
- wrong.

What do you mean "Wrong"?

That doesn't look anything
Like the east fence, chief.

Where are the trees and
The birds and the flowers?

Max, I'm not trying
To be realistic,

I'm trying to draw a diagram.

- go on, chief.
- thank you.

Now this is the
West fence, right?

Up here is the north fence.
Down here is the south fence.

This x marks where
We are right now.

that's where we'll
Start digging the tunnel.

This x marks the east fence

Where siegfried
Will be waiting for us.

This x marks the west fence
Where we're gonna fool him

And come out. Now
Does that do it?

Almost.

So that's how they
Plan to escape?

A truly ingenious plan,
Similar to the one I used

To get out of el alamein.

But thanks to our informer,

We'll be waiting for them

When they come up
At the west fence.

We don't tic-tac-toe here!

Sorry, siegfried.
I couldn't resist.

I go now and take all
The digging implements

- away from the prisoners.
- no!

Leave the implements alone.
I want them to keep busy

Until kessler gets here.

But, siegfried,
Suppose they escape?

They can't escape.
Don't you understand?

As soon as they come
Up at the west fence,

We'll be waiting for
Them in the truck.

und kessler will be
Seated behind the wheel.

Siegfried, you are the
Most corrupt individual

I have ever met!

und you're standing on my foot!

- yes, what is it?
- max: we have a few more bags of dirt

- to get rid of, chief.
- okay, max.

Penwick, give me a hand.

Here.

Max: hurry up, chief.
These things weigh a ton.

Yeah.

Penwick, have the men distribute
That dirt all around the camp

And then bring the bags back.

Right, chief.

How are you doing, max?

I'm all right, chief. Kendall
Just took over the digging.

How far have you tunneled, max?

Well, how far would you
Say it is to the west fence?

- about 200 yards.
- well,

I'd say that we've tunneled,

Oh, must be... 12, 14 feet.

"12, 14 feet"? You and
Kendall have been down there

Since 6:00 this morning!

Yes, chief, but we didn't
Start digging until 8:00.

- why not?
- well, you see,

For the first two hours we
Couldn't decide who should dig

And should fill
The bags with dirt.

So we tossed a coin.

Max, it doesn't take
Two hours to toss a coin.

- no, but it took two hours to find it.
- at the rate you're going,

You'll have to dig all through the
Night to reach that fence by morning.

If only we had some
Flashlights, chief.

You don't have any flashlights.

You're just gonna have to
Make do with what you got.

Okay, chief, but
I'm warning you...

Some of those fireflies
Are beginning to weaken.

Max, go back down there
And fill those bags with dirt!

Right, chief.

Oh, by the way, chief, what
Are you doing with the dirt?

We're having all the men fill
Their pockets with the dirt,

And when no one's looking they
Sprinkle it around the compound.

Hey, that's a great idea,
Chief. I saw that in a movie once.

- what movie?
- "Cave-in."

- goodbye, max.
- bye, chief.

Siegfried, he's pushing the rock

Back over the tunnel entrance.

Get away from that window!

I don't want them
To be suspicious.

I want them to keep digging until
Kessler gets here in the morning.

Oh, what time do you
Think kessler will get here?

Exactly 8:00.

I hope he gets here earlier.

I got 7:30 in the pool.

You and those stupid
Pools. Don't you understand

- you don't stand a chance of winning?
- why not?

Because I got 8:00 in the pool.

Max has passed under the fence
And is starting to tunnel up, chief.

Well, that's great. Wilkins,
Keep an eye out for the guards.

Smith, go out to the garden
And get on the flower stem.

All right, men. Now this is it;

As soon as agent
86 breaks through,

I want all of you to get into
That tunnel as quickly as possible

And make your way
Through it single file.

As soon as you come
Up outside the fence,

Head immediately for the woods.

Don't turn around,
Don't look back, just go.

We'll rendezvous tonight
At the bus depot in union city.

ja! it looks like they're
Breaking through.

Is everything in readiness?

ja, siegfried. The guards and
The truck are waiting in the bushes

Just outside the west fence.

- I don't see him.
- yeah, where is he?

That's strange

He should be coming
Through any minute now.

- hey, chief.
- huh?

Look.

He's tunneled south
Instead of west.

You know what I could have
Used more than a flashlight, chief?

A compass.

Max, how could you
Have been so far off?

I don't know, chief. There was a
Big pipe down there in the tunnel.

What pipe? Why
Didn't you dig under it?

Well, chief, I couldn't
Dig under it. It was too big.

I tried to hack my way
Through it with a shovel,

But I couldn't. It was too big.

So finally I had to
Make a detour around it.

There's only one thing to do...

We'll have to
Charge the main gate.

Most of us probably won't
Make it, but some of us will.

- is everybody ready?
- all right, get back,

- all of you.
- kendall, you've got a gun!

Gee, that's great. Chief,
Look, kendall's got a gun!

So you're the informer, kendall?

- that's correct.
- oh, uh...

That's why he's got a gun.

You mean, all that stuff at
The airport was prearranged?

That's right, smart.

Wait a minute, you're
Talking with an accent.

Before I was talking with an
Accent. Now I'm talking right.

Well, kendall, I
Hope you realize

This is going to be a black mark
On your record. Right, chief?

Shut up, smart!

Chief, can he talk
To me like that?

- shut up, max.
- kendall: all right!

Now, all of you, move
Away from the tunnel!

Good work, max.

I can't believe kendall
Was the informer.

Yes, siegfried certainly
Put one over on us.

You bet your sweet
Shoe phone, smart.

Throw that gun over here!

So you knew all along

That we weren't
Tunneling to the east fence.

That's right. That's why
I had all my men waiting

Outside the west fence.

Well, siegfried, it looks like
My plan worked perfectly.

What are you
Talking about, smart?

Well, when we told our men
To dig toward the east fence,

We knew that the
Informer would tell you

That we were really digging
Toward the west fence.

So you put your men
Outside the west fence.

And now you're in here with us

And you're completely
Outnumbered...

That was my plan,
Siegfried... my plan.

And I thought it
Out all by myself.

Then you will be
The first one I'll kill.

Uh, well, not
Exactly by myself...

The chief helped a lot.

Siegfried, they're coming!

- they're coming!
- who's coming?!

Everybody... The
Electric company,

The gas company, the fire
Department... Everybody!

- what are they coming here for?
- I just got a phone call.

It seems there was a
Power failure in passaic,

And they traced it to a
Cable running under our camp!

That must be what you ran
Into under the ground, max.

Of course. I know that, chief.

when they get here
And find we are running

A prisoner-of-war camp without
A license, we'll be arrested.

Come on, we've got to get
Out of here. Kessler's waiting.

Kessler is here? It's only 7:30.

Siegfried, I win the pool!

Get out of here, starker!

We will meet again, smart.

All right, men, give
Me your attention.

This was a tough one,
Men, but we made it.

We're gonna march out of here

And a lot of those people in
Passaic are gonna be watching us,

And I want them to see the kind

Of control agents
We really are...

Proud and undefeated.

Now fall in in a column of twos.

Max: all right, everybody, fall
In, let's go. Fall in, look smart.

Penwick, get the door.

Ready? Follow me!

Ooh, max, this
Telegram came for you

While you were in the shower.

- they can't do this to me!
- who?

The passaic electric
And power company.

Remember I told
You about that cable

- that I cut through in the tunnel?
- uh-huh.

They're demanding
That I pay $485 on repairs.

Max, what are you gonna do?!

I'm not gonna pay it,
That's what I'm gonna do.

Well, can't they make
Some kind of trouble?

How? We live in washington.
They're in new jersey.

But I thought all these
Companies were affiliated.

So what if they are? What kind
Of trouble could they make?

I'll send them a check
First thing in the morning.