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1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:08,618
Man over p.A.: flight
229 to lisbon and madrid
2
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,876
is now boarding at gate 3.
3
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,329
Well, kendall, we got
You to the airport safely,
4
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:22,932
Now all we have to do is get
You on that flight to london.
5
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,101
First I'm gonna get
Myself a good stiff drink.
6
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,637
- but you never drink.
- I never drove with you either.
7
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,140
You check your bag, I'm
Going to report in to the chief.
8
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,205
Okay, 86.
9
00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:34,377
Woman over p.A.: flight
6 leaving for new york,
10
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:38,215
london and paris
Leaving at gate 67.
11
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,172
now board please.
12
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,769
Hello, chief. This is max.
13
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,905
I got kendall here to the airport
Without anything going wrong.
14
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:06,476
This is one control agent that kaos
Is not going to get their hands on.
15
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,512
By this time tomorrow
Kendall will be in london
16
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,682
Delivering the top secret
Defense plans to nato.
17
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,652
What's that? Oh really?
18
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,642
Uh, thank you.
19
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,180
Hello, operator. I just
Got the wrong number.
20
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,763
Woman over p.A.:
flight 69 leaving...
21
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:30,133
- may I help you, sir?
- I'm on flight 10 to london.
22
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:32,969
- I'd like some insurance.
- will that be round trip?
23
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:36,238
I certainly hope so.
24
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,430
- and your name please?
- michael kendall.
25
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,070
If you'll just
Fill this out, sir.
26
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:51,854
I just checked in with
Headquarters. Are you ready, kendall?
27
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,557
In a second, smart. I'm putting
You down as beneficiary.
28
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,592
Oh, that's very
Generous of you, kendall.
29
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,761
- here you are.
- thank you.
30
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,497
Telephone call
For michael kendall.
31
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:04,167
- michael kendall.
- that's for me.
32
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,636
Where can I take it, miss?
33
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,638
You can take it in
That booth over there.
34
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,495
Thank you.
35
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:22,719
Man over p.A.:
flight 13 for chicago,
36
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,690
and new york now
Boarding at gate 25.
37
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,554
Hurry up, kendall. We've
Got less than 10 minutes.
38
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,619
Kendall?
39
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,992
Kendall?!
40
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:48,210
Miss, you know that man that
Just filled out an insurance policy?
41
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:48,947
Yes.
42
00:02:48,971 --> 00:02:51,135
How long do I have to
Wait before I can file a claim?
43
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,089
Chief: job was to
Guard kendall so kaos
44
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:08,892
wouldn't get their hands on him!
45
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,993
how could you have
Failed so miserably?!
46
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,696
21 of our top agents
Have disappeared
47
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,634
in the last six months! Kendall
Was the most important man left!
48
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,870
how could you have let him
Disappear from under your very nose?!
49
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,039
you nincompoop!
50
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,441
- who's he talking to?
- nobody. He's rehearsing.
51
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,243
Eh, rehearsing, yes.
52
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,912
Tell him something came
Up and we couldn't make it.
53
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,315
Max, you've got to go
In. He's expecting you.
54
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,338
Eh...
55
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,760
- hello, chief.
- hi, chief.
56
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,763
Hello, 99. Larabee, tell smart
57
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,532
I'm going to talk
To him through you
58
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,767
Because I don't want to
Talk to him personally.
59
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,604
I don't blame you. He handled this
Assignment like an incompetent nincompoop.
60
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,640
- I like that!
- you did?
61
00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:00,710
- I didn't like it at all.
- larabee, tell smart I want
62
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,678
A detailed
Explanation right now.
63
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,380
Right, chief. The chief wants...
64
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,950
Don't you talk to me, larabee,
After what you just called me.
65
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:07,573
99, will you...
66
00:05:07,597 --> 00:05:09,418
Do you think I'd have
Anything to do with you
67
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,020
After what you
Called my husband?
68
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,422
- chief, they won't talk to me.
- I don't blame them.
69
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:16,559
I'm in charge here. What right do
You have to give a personal opinion?
70
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,594
- well, I just thought...
- don't talk to me.
71
00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:21,398
- 99, tell max...
- chief, if you can't talk to my husband,
72
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,233
Don't bother
Talking to me either.
73
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,502
Well, this is ridiculous.
74
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,837
We're supposed to be having a
Meeting and nobody's talking to anybody.
75
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,173
Larabee, tell max I'm sorry.
76
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:33,476
- I'm not talking to you, chief.
- look, we got off on the wrong foot
77
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,179
And it's getting us nowhere. If I
Offended anybody in this office,
78
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:40,416
I apologize. Max, what do
You think happened to kendall?
79
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,353
Well, chief, I've been
Giving it a lot of thought.
80
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,955
- and I have a theory.
- I'd like to hear it.
81
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,091
Okay, chief, here it is:
82
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,660
Control agent kendall went
Into that telephone booth
83
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,319
And disappeared.
84
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,501
- go on.
- that's my theory.
85
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,970
That's it? Well, it
May be your theory,
86
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,072
But it's not much
Of an explanation.
87
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,890
I want to know everything
That happened from
88
00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:06,609
The moment you walked
Into that terminal.
89
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,578
Okay, chief. Well...
90
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,879
I walked into the terminal,
91
00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:13,483
then I looked around to
See if the coast was clear,
92
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,973
then I nodded for
Kendall to follow me.
93
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:18,494
Then what?
94
00:06:18,518 --> 00:06:21,090
Well, then I told him
To check his luggage
95
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:24,260
At the baggage counter while I
Telephoned you at headquarters.
96
00:06:24,264 --> 00:06:24,970
Go ahead.
97
00:06:24,974 --> 00:06:26,996
Well, then I went to
The insurance counter
98
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,465
And that's when I heard
Him paged on the telephone.
99
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,601
Paged on the phone?
That's impossible!
100
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,136
Why? They have a phone here.
101
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,638
No, max, kendall was
Traveling under a code "Z."
102
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,540
The only ones who
Knew about his flight
103
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,475
Were you and me,
And I didn't phone him!
104
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,611
But somebody must've
Telephoned him, chief,
105
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,479
Because I was with
Him when he was paged!
106
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,381
And then I followed
Him to the telephone
107
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,317
- just before he disappeared.
- come on.
108
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:51,421
We are government agents. We'd
Like to ask you a few questions.
109
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,590
- certainly.
- did you page a michael kendall
110
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,057
- this morning?
- kendall?
111
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,460
- mm-hmm.
- kendall... Sounds familiar,
112
00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:00,229
But it's hard for me to say, so
Many people come through here
113
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,327
During the course of the day.
114
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:03,099
But if you did page
Him, would you call him
115
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,035
- from this counter?
- yes, we use this microphone right here.
116
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,237
Thank you. Come on, max.
117
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,061
Government agents.
118
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,854
Yes. I have it.
119
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,440
Telephone call for
Mr. Harold clark.
120
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,809
- mr. Harold clark.
- max, listen.
121
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,112
They just paged harold clark!
122
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,882
Of course! It was harold
Clark who phoned kendall!
123
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,784
No, max, that's my code
Name. I'm harold clark.
124
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,942
You'd better answer
The phone, harold.
125
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,624
It's just possible that
Whoever phoned kendall
126
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,559
This morning could
Also be phoning me.
127
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,195
You're right. Come on, you
Can use this phone over here.
128
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,197
Keep your eyes open, max.
129
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,766
Man over p.A.: will
Mr. J.R. Koleser...
130
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,903
will mr. J.R. Koleser
131
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:17,173
please report to the
Information counter?
132
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,831
Hey, chief, that girl
At the counter is...
133
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,700
Chief?
134
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:25,970
Chief!
135
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,687
- uh, miss.
- yes, sir?
136
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,031
Do you have a lost and found?
137
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,091
- hello?
- yes?
138
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,026
No, the chief isn't here.
139
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,429
I'll tell him you
Called, senator.
140
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:43,099
Hello? No, the chief isn't here.
141
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,102
- I'm sorry. Thank you. Right,
I'll have him call the white house
142
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,003
- as soon as he gets in.
- hello?
143
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,595
These orders have to
Be signed by the chief
144
00:08:49,619 --> 00:08:51,174
And delivered to the
Pentagon immediately.
145
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,576
They can't be signed
Now, the chief isn't here.
146
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,112
- I'm sorry, the chief isn't here.
- I have worse news:
147
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,881
Harvey just closed the control
Delicatessen and went home.
148
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,017
You're kidding. Why?
149
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,486
With only three control
Agents left in washington,
150
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,621
He can't afford to
Stay open any longer.
151
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,456
Right, just as
Soon as he gets in.
152
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,124
What are we gonna do?
153
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:12,195
There's only one thing we can do...
Eat across the street at angelo's.
154
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,186
How can you think of
Food at a time like this?!
155
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,801
99, the only thing we can do
156
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,003
Is to appoint a temporary
Chief of control
157
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,572
From among the three
Of us. And whoever it is
158
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,641
Will have to be
Highly intelligent,
159
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:30,146
Completely fearless, with an acute
Sense of command and organization.
160
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,315
- max, can I call my wife?
- what for?
161
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,779
I want to see if it's all right with her
Before I take on all that extra work.
162
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,788
I wasn't thinking
Of you, larabee.
163
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,057
I was thinking of
Myself for the job.
164
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,894
Oh, I have to call
My wife anyway, max.
165
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,896
Oh, max, I think that's
A marvelous idea!
166
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,932
You have more
Experience than any of us.
167
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:53,702
Well, all right, 99.
I'll accept the job.
168
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:56,472
Now what's the first
Thing you think I should do
169
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,173
As the temporary
Chief of control?
170
00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:02,111
- reopen the control delicatessen.
- I mean after that.
171
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,413
Don't you think the
First thing we ought to do
172
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,182
- is to the find the chief?
- she's right, 86. They may kill him.
173
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,384
I don't think they'll
Do that, larabee.
174
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:12,788
The chief has been the 22nd
Agent that they've kidnapped.
175
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,224
Now with all those men
And all that knowledge
176
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,127
I doubt very much
If kaos will kill them.
177
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,362
They must be keeping
Them prisoner somewhere.
178
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,765
- but where?
- there's only one way to find out.
179
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,734
- how?
- I'm gonna have myself kidnapped.
180
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:28,003
No, max! I'm not gonna let you
Sacrifice yourself like that!
181
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,905
She's right, max. Let me go.
182
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:33,042
Are you saying that
Because I'm married, larabee?
183
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,544
No, max, I'm saying that
Because I'm married.
184
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:38,514
How do you intend to get
Yourself kidnapped, max?
185
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,485
99, when the chief and kendall
Went down to the airport,
186
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,820
They were both paged
To that telephone.
187
00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:48,057
When they went inside that
Telephone booth, they both disappeared.
188
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,960
Larabee, give me 20 minutes
To get to the airport,
189
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,163
Then I want you to call and
Have me paged to the telephone.
190
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,566
Unless I miss my guess
191
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,034
In an hour I'll be missing.
192
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:01,938
- be careful, max.
- don't worry, 99.
193
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,374
I'll call you as
Soon as I'm captured.
194
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:07,698
Max, if they capture you, they're
Not gonna let you use the telephone.
195
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,736
You're right, 99.
You'd better call me.
196
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,453
Telephone call
For maxwell smart.
197
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,655
maxwell smart.
198
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,880
again.
199
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,963
- hello?
- hi, max. Did you disappear yet?
200
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,798
No, I didn't disappear
Yet. I don't understand it.
201
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:32,902
They probably don't realize
How vital I am to control.
202
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,581
Do you want me to
Call them and tell them?
203
00:11:34,585 --> 00:11:35,771
No, I don't want you
204
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:39,175
To call them and tell them. I want
You to call them and have me paged,
205
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,934
And this time try and make me
Sound as important as you can.
206
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,282
Telephone call for
President maxwell smart.
207
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,752
president maxwell smart.
208
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:52,913
president maxwell smart.
209
00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,223
Uh, that's an important
Phone call for me...
210
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:57,560
Take it in your usual
Booth, mr. President.
211
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,561
- thank you.
- man over p.A.: this is the final call
212
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:03,399
for flight 13 to
Miami. adios, amigos.
213
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,202
- hello.
- hi, max. Are you all right?
214
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,759
Yes, I'm all right, 99.
Nothing's happened so far.
215
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:13,349
Yes?
216
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:15,144
Don't you think we
Ought to get rid of him?
217
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,880
We can't! He's not on our list
Of important control agents.
218
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,516
But he knows there's something
Unusual about that phone booth.
219
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,085
I'd feel better if
We got rid of him.
220
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:25,621
Perhaps you're right.
221
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,890
I hate to bother you at work,
But I was about to cook dinner
222
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,859
And I didn't know whether
To cook for one or two.
223
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,561
The way things are going,
You might as well cook for two.
224
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,530
It doesn't look like I'm going
To be disappearing tonight.
225
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:38,267
I'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.
226
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,124
Hang up, smart.
227
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:53,504
- so you're in on this.
- kaos agent nova at your service.
228
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,320
So that's how you did it.
229
00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:00,223
The old check-the-baggage-
Take-out-the-insurance-
230
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,524
Page-'em-to-the-phones-
Spin-the-booth trick.
231
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,127
It's an old trick, smart,
But it's an effective one,
232
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,496
As 22 of your control
Agents before you can vouch.
233
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,266
All right, nova. There's just
One question I'd like to ask
234
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,101
And then I'm putting
You under arrest.
235
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,637
How can you put me under
Arrest when I'm holding the gun?
236
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,594
Uh, that was my question.
237
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,064
Go on.
238
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,169
Woman: nova!
239
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,353
All right. Come on,
Get out of there.
240
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,929
- what happened to him?
- I thought he was you.
241
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:17,399
Oh really? I don't think he
Looks anything at all like me.
242
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:20,002
All right, mr. Smart,
You can take me in.
243
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,637
That's exactly
What I'm gonna do.
244
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,006
Before I do that, there are
Some things I'd like to know.
245
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,907
and you can start
Off by telling me
246
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,678
What happened to the 22
Control agents that disappeared.
247
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,502
They're being held prisoners.
248
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:17,548
Fall in!
249
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:23,032
Fall in! aus! on the double!
250
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,989
Keep it moving! Hurry it up!
251
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,440
achtung!
252
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,010
You will now be addressed by
The commandant of this camp,
253
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:39,348
Colonel ludwig von siegfried!
254
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:47,744
Uh!
255
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:53,362
Prisoners of camp
Gitchie goomee...
256
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:57,899
Noonee wa-wa, you
Have been beaten,
257
00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:02,805
Tortured, starved,
Maimed und racked,
258
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:07,342
und now the picnic is over!
259
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:11,747
- sir.
- what is it, chief of control?
260
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,449
I have only been
Here a few days,
261
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,418
But as commanding
Officer of these men
262
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,086
I must register a protest.
263
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:20,289
The food, the clothing
And the sanitary conditions
264
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,092
In this camp are
Disgraceful and intolerable.
265
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,961
Tell it to the marines, baldy!
266
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,764
- I demand something be done.
- it doesn't matter.
267
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,399
You prisoners will not be
Staying here much longer.
268
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,402
Because arriving today
269
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:38,073
From our glorious
Fatherland, south america,
270
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,075
Is a man who will transport you
271
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:42,210
Behind the iron curtain...
272
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:45,013
Major fritz kessler,
273
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:48,284
the beast of buenos aires!
274
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:51,052
I thought kessler
Was coming next week.
275
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:53,322
I thought so too, but
He just called und said
276
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,324
He would be
Arriving immediately.
277
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,126
I'll send a motorcycle
Escort to meet him at the gate.
278
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:01,530
Oh, he'll be so impressed
With the motorcycles going...
279
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,967
Uh, starker?
280
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:08,437
This is kaos.
281
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,507
We don't... Here.
282
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,931
Anyway, it's already
Taken care of.
283
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,010
und there's kessler now.
284
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,394
Welcome, major kessler.
285
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:22,411
Tell me, did you have any
Trouble finding the camp?
286
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:26,381
No, but we did have a little
Trouble with the police.
287
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:29,484
- what happened?
- they stopped us at a roadblock.
288
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,554
- what for?
- I don't know.
289
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,244
They are stopping all
Kaos command cars today.
290
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,759
Well, colonel siegfried,
291
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:42,531
You have done a splendid
Job here with the camp.
292
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,633
The high commander
Is very pleased.
293
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,903
- danke schon.
- all over the world,
294
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,839
Brave men are trembling
295
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:54,098
At the mere mention
Of the name gitchie...
296
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,579
Gitchie goomee noonee wa-wa.
297
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,448
They are scared to
Death of that name.
298
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,016
tell me, colonel siegfried,
299
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,652
Is it true the
Stories I have heard?
300
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,988
Oh, well, every once in a while
301
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:10,125
Starker and I do
Go into passaic,
302
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,994
We have a few drinks, und, uh...
303
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,386
♪ chicka-chicka-chicka-uh! ♪
304
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,767
- colonel siegfried.
- ja?
305
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,436
This is kaos. We don't, uh...
306
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,906
- chicka-chicka-chicka?
- we don't do that here.
307
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,108
Would the major care
To inspect the prisoners?
308
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:29,244
Bring them out.
309
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:34,116
- they are already out.
- this is all the prisoners you have?
310
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:38,187
No, we have six more
In the sweatbox...
311
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:41,078
He'll be out in one hour.
312
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,993
"He"? You said six.
313
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,664
Six go in, one comes out.
314
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,967
The heat... Fuses them together.
315
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,759
Ah. I will look them over.
316
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,208
Tell me, starker,
317
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,299
Who does major
Kessler remind you of?
318
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,670
- hans gruber?
- nein nein, an american.
319
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:11,942
- mickey gruber.
- don't push it, starker.
320
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,881
Don't let on,
Henderson. It's me, smart.
321
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,300
Wilkinson, pass the word:
322
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,391
I'm breaking you
Out of here tonight.
323
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,930
Don't worry, old
Timer. I'll get you out.
324
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,802
Chief, it's me, max.
325
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,617
Max?! How'd you find us?
326
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,718
The girl at the insurance
Counter, she talked.
327
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,987
You'll never get away with
It. Siegfried'll recognize you.
328
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:48,946
Not with this eye patch,
Scar and mustache, he won't.
329
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,962
kendall, you've
Got a lot of nerve.
330
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,587
That was only a $500
Policy you left me.
331
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:02,037
- uh, major kessler?
- we'll break out tonight.
332
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:04,039
Siegfried: it's much
Too hot out here.
333
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:07,223
Won't you join me in my
Quarters for some schnapps?
334
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,479
Thank you, colonel siegfried,
335
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:13,848
But I'd much
Rather have a drink.
336
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:16,117
Major, ever since you arrived
337
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:19,721
I've been trying to place
Where I've seen you before.
338
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,524
Have you ever been to tobruk?
339
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:25,115
- nein.
- dunkirk?
340
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,385
- nein.
- how about berkeley?
341
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,790
You know, colonel siegfried...
342
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:39,596
You are doing a splendid
Job here at the camp.
343
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:45,848
Who knows, the
Way things are going,
344
00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:50,908
Today passaic,
Tomorrow the world!
345
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,790
Tell me, colonel siegfried,
346
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,293
Where do you keep the
File on the prisoners?
347
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,718
- in the top drawer.
- ah! Good.
348
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:24,386
Now I know who you remind me of.
349
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,822
Oh. Who is that?
350
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:29,191
You'll probably laugh,
But you remind me
351
00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:32,549
Of control agent maxwell smart.
352
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:44,305
Did you say "Maxwell smart"?
353
00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:46,096
ja, maxwell smart.
354
00:22:57,809 --> 00:22:59,521
Huh!
355
00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:03,325
That is the funniest thing I
Have ever heard, siegfried.
356
00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:06,328
Maxwell smart, eh?
357
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:09,631
You have a delightful
Sense of humor.
358
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:11,321
I drink to it.
359
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,571
Siegfried: no, really, if
Not for the eye patch
360
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,940
und the moustache on
Your glass, I would swear...
361
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:20,509
On your glass? You
Are maxwell smart!
362
00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:24,401
Starker!
363
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:30,184
- never mind, starker.
- but he'll get away, siegfried!
364
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:33,388
I don't think so. This window
Overlooks the kennels.
365
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:35,279
He'll be torn to shreds!
366
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,716
Starker, release the dogs!
29186
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