All language subtitles for Get.Smart.1965.S03E26.REMASTERED.DVDRip.XviD-FQM

Oh, so it's you, bodecker.

Smart, you're not
Supposed to say,

"Oh, so it's you, bodecker."

- first, the password.
- right.

A wet duck only
Flies at midnight.

The night is the
Devil's playground.

When the swallows
Come back to campobello,

There'll be bluebirds over
The white cliffs of dover.

- okay, smart.
- oh, so it's you, bodecker.

- no.
- "No"?

You're always getting me and
Bodecker mixed up. I'm rosencrantz.

- oh, so it's you, rosencrantz.
- no.

You're supposed to use
My code name on this case.

- what's your code name?
- bodecker.

- bodecker.
- do you have them?

Yes, I have them, but
They're for your eyes alone.

They're top secret. Here
Are your sealed orders.

The envelope wasn't sealed.

Well, my orders were that
The envelope wasn't to be sealed.

- can I see your orders?
- that's impossible.

- why?
- because my orders are sealed.

This is an odd assignment.

We're to break into
This mansion and take a

Picture of a portrait
Hanging in the library.

Of course. Where else
Would they hide a painting

Except behind a wall safe?

- let's open it.
- no. There's not enough light.

I'd better use super-satchel.

That's terrific! What
Did you call that?

- super-satchel.
- I'll have to order one from control.

No, don't get it from
Control. They'll rob you blind.

- what do I do then?
- you'd better get it

From a discount scientist.

No! Don't do that!
You need gloves.

I have gloves.

No, not those kind of gloves.

Fingerprint gloves.

These are the
Fingerprints of kessinger,

A kaos agent.

Anything we do,

He'll be blamed for.

I can't hear the
Tumblers clicking.

I'll try.

No! Don't do that.
You'll leave an ear print.

Here, hold this.

Kessinger's ear.

she's beautiful.

- who is she?
- amanda krispin.

Oh, yeah. His estranged wife.

She left him because she was
Unhappy and went to pittsburgh.

She couldn't have
Been that unhappy.

And then she took
Off for parts unknown.

- someone's coming.
- I got to take a picture.

You boost me up,
Then I'll pull you over.

Good idea.

- I'd better get a stronger grip.
- good idea.

My grip is slipping. I'd
Better spit on my hands.

Go right ahead.

I'll boost you up,
Then you pull me over.

Good idea.

You okay?

Perfect, except for one thing.

- what?
- next time, that way.

Hurry!

Okay. Upsy-daisy.

- only one of us can make it.
- you go.

- you go.
- you go.

- no. - okay. I'll go, you stay.

- and I salute you.
- no, there's no time.

- - hurry! Someone's coming!

oof!

Thanks.

Bodecker, I salute you.

We have got to find
Those krispin papers.

They contain the name of every
Enemy agent of this country...

Every politician, every
High-ranking army officer,

Every dentist who
Owes allegiance to kaos.

Yes, well, how do
We find them, chief?

Krispin would do anything
To get his wife back.

We're going to make a
Trade... His wife for the papers.

But we don't have his wife.
We just have that photograph.

Oh, I think we have
More than that, 99.

Max, this is why I wanted you
To take that picture last night...

To compare with this one.

But, chief, if you
Already had a photograph

Of amanda krispin, why
Did you need another?

Those two pictures
Are not of the same girl.

You're kidding.

That is amanda krispin;
That is mimsi sage.

But the resemblance
Is fantastic!

Max: except for the glasses.

It's our plan to have miss sage
Impersonate amanda krispin.

of course, she'll have to
Be trained. She's not an agent.

- what does she do?
- we don't have much on her.

We know that she
Writes children's books.

She wrote "The tiger that
Couldn't," "The elephant that wouldn't"

And "The pussy
That would like to."

Well, do you think we can get
Her to cooperate with us, chief?

I don't know. I think she'll have
To be talked into being a spy.

Yes, well, I'm willing to
Take a fling at it, chief.

- you start tomorrow.
- couldn't I start this afternoon?

No, max. I want you to
Read all of her books,

Get to know everything
You can about her.

Oh, incidentally, we have information
That gruvnik of kaos knows about miss sage.

He may be after her too.

- gruvnik the spoiler?
- but I thought gruvnik was with thrush.

Yes, well, he was traded
Just before the deadline

For a rookie killer and
Two minor-league muggers.

- would you let me go with you, max?
- uh, no no no no.

I'll be perfectly all right, 99.

I won't.

- watch your head on that thing, 99.
- right.

- hello.
- hello.

Uh, I'm maxwell smart. I'm a
Great admirer of your books.

- oh, that's nice.
- I've read everything that you've written,

From "The clock that lost its
Tock" to "Happy hippo takes a trip."

You read "The clock
That lost its tock"?

Hardly anybody read that.

Oh, I read it. I
Remember it well.

"Tick and tock lived in a clock,

And all day long,
The clock would go,

'tick-tock, tick-tock.'

Then one day, tick
And tock had a fight,

And tick wouldn't talk to tock,
And tock wouldn't talk to tick.

So tick ran away, and then
All the clock could do was go,

'tock, tock, tock.'"

- you did read it.
- yes. I couldn't put it down.

- I was up all night with it.
- well, it's only 12 pages.

Uh, 12 pages. Yes, well...

There's some very small print
There. I reread it many times.

Well, would you like
For me to autograph

A book for you, mr... Mr. Smart?

How about the guest
Book in my apartment?

What are you doing
For dinner tonight?

Um, eating.

Eating. Yes. Well,
Couldn't we eat together?

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I have
To watch a mouse tonight.

- a mouse?
- yes.

You see, I do my
Own illustrating,

And I have to study the mouse
So I can draw it for my new book,

"Seymour, the
Psychedelic mouse."

"Seymour, the
Psychedelic mouse." yes. Oh.

Well, couldn't you do
That tomorrow night?

Oh, no, I rented the
Mouse for tonight.

Miss sage, I'm with the
Government. We need your help.

The government?

Well, I certainly want
To help the government.

That's our government, isn't it?

Uh, yes. Yes, that's
Our government.

I'm with the control agency.

You're a spy!

You're a spy! You're a spy
And you want me to help you!

- a spy!
- you don't understand.

You see, you're putting
Me out of business.

If everybody knows that I'm
A spy, then I'm no longer a spy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What do you want
From me? Information?

We need your help. It's vital.

- you want me to be a spy?!
- shh! Shh!

No, I can't, uh...
I can't be a spy.

I... Spies, uh...

They... Slink when they walk,

And I can't slink.

Well, spies don't slink
Anymore. That's out.

Besides, that's a pretty good "Slunk."
That's one of the best "Slunks" I ever saw.

I'm not cut out for spying.

Yes, you are. Besides,
This assignment

May have an effect on the
Whole security of our nation.

- you've got to help us.
- but why me?

Because your country needs you.

Oh, well, I don't like to get
Involved with violence. I deplore it.

Well, look at children's books.
They're filled with violence.

But that's another kind.
That's friendly violence.

The people who kill each
Other like each other.

Oh.

Yes. Well, look.
What if I promise

To keep you away from
Anything that's brutal?

Chief's voice: gruvnik of kaos knows
About miss sage. He may be after her too.

Uh, mimsi, autograph
A book for me,

And use my full name... Maxwell.

And one for my
Nephew, montgomery.

Well, if you really
Can, I mean, assure me

That there'll be nothing
Unpleasant or physical...

- I promise you there'll be no violence.
- that was "Montgomery"?

And make one out
For my aunt george

A-and my uncle,
Uh... My uncle robert

And to anybody else...

This is so different.

I never thought I'd ever
Be a... A you-know-what.

I mean, I never, uh... I never
Even wanted to be one.

Ever.

Mr. Smart, I hate to
Keep harping on this,

But my only concern
Is that there be no viol...

- what happened?
- oh, nothing.

I just picked up a
Copy of "War and peace"

And got involved.

Unbeknownst to you, agent 86,

And to your chief,

I have had every phase
Of the transformation

Of miss sage into amanda
Krispin photographed

By secret camera.

Are you telling me that you took
Pictures of us without our knowing it?

But that's dishonest!
Why, that's spying, chief.

The film has just come over from the
Lab. I haven't had a chance to see it yet.

Therefore, I think that mr. Smart
Would be much the better narrator.

Shall we begin?

Does this movie have
A happy ending, max?

Don't worry, chief. I did
Everything you'd expect me to do.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Run the film, please.

Max: that's mimsi...
Uh, miss sage.

our first problem was glasses.

mimsi wears them;
Amanda doesn't.

contact lenses were a
Possibility, but there was always

the danger that krispin
Would detect them.

we decided to see if
Mimsi, without glasses,

could navigate across the room.

we put some
Obstacles in her path.

she passes the lamp.

she sees the ashtray on
The stand. She sees the chair.

good.

We're using contact lenses.

as far as amanda was concerned,
Doors were an accessory.

she preferred
To leap into a car.

- after we got out of the hospital...
- wheelwright: stop the film!

I think it is hopeless
To have anyone try to...

become her.

Senator, I think you're
Making a big mistake.

I don't think you should
Judge by a training film.

I think you should
Judge by results.

Gentlemen, may I present...

Miss amanda krispin.

How do you do, senator?

So good to see you again.

Wheelwright: amazing!

It's a remarkable
Piece of work, max.

She certainly is.

Now we can go ahead
And contact krispin,

Exchange your student
For the krispin papers.

Chief, krispin's bound to learn

That mimsi isn't
Amanda, isn't he?

- I imagine so, max.
- well, what'll happen to her?

He'll kill her, max.

So you are the maxwell smart.

Yes.

I am the maxwell smart.

Sit down, please.

thank you.

You're a surprise
To me, mr. Smart.

For a man to have earned your
Reputation, I would have thought you older.

I wasn't prepared
For you to be as

distinguished as
You are, as handsome.

But perhaps I'm
Embarrassing you.

Oh, no. No no no no.

No, not at all. We're trained
To deal with the truth.

Well, very good. May I
Offer you something?

a cigarette?

Oh, thank you.

A light, mr. Smart?

- thank you.
- and now perhaps

We should get down to
The purpose of your visit.

Yes, I think that
Would be advisable.

As you know,
Mr. Krispin, I came here

To talk about amanda.

Do you have amanda?

Yes. But how do I know

That after I turn amanda
Over to you, you won't kill me?

You don't. But how do I know

That after I give you the
Krispin papers, you won't kill me?

You don't.

Our safety, it seems,
Mr. Smart, is in those "Don'ts."

Yes. Well, amanda is in the
Garden. I'll go and get her.

This way is shorter.

- yes, I know.
- you know?

Uh, yes, well, what
I mean is that, uh,

You can see the garden
Through the glass in the window.

Uh, that is, when the moonlight

Comes streaming through
The curtains, you can see the...

Uh, you could see the...

I'll go get her.

Well, mimsi, this is it.

Big moment.

Oh, max, I'm so nervous. My
Stomach feels all funny inside.

Th-they say in the theater it's
Good to be nervous before you go on.

is that all right
In the spy business?

Max, I'm going to miss you.

I mean, now that
The training is over,

I'm going to miss you... I'm
Going to miss working with you.

Oh, listen to me. I sound
Like I've had a drink.

Whenever I have even
A little sip, I just...

Say whatever I'm thinking,
Whatever's on my mind.

Oh, max, I'm so nervous!

Now, just take it easy, mimsi.
Everything is gonna be fine.

- I know you're gonna be great.
- honest?

Honest.

I sound like a character
In one of my books.

- shall we go?
- I won't let you down.

Max's voice: what happens when
He finds out mimsi isn't amanda?

Chief's voice: he'll
Kill her, max.

Max: well, krispin,
Here's your wife.

- hello, kinsey.
- amanda, darling.

And now, krispin,
If you don't mind,

I'll take your papers.

In a moment.

Certainly an occasion
Such as this deserves...

No, demands... Commemoration.

Your favorite, my dear.

Hold it! No drinking!

Uh, what I mean is that, uh,

I'm not allowed to
Drink... I'm on duty.

Good. There'll be that much
More left for us, right, amanda?

- no... Yes.
- the only woman I've ever known

Who can consume champagne
As though it were bottled water.

To us.

I don't need it, kinsey. I'm drunk
With the pleasure of seeing you.

Ah, that's not a
Bit like you, amanda.

You're not one to
Pass up dom perignon '59.

To the summers of our life.

Mimsi's voice: just one little
Sip, and I can't stop drinking.

Krispin, the papers.

Ah, yes. The papers.

Max: very ingenious.

Mimsi, are you all right?

You're cute, you know
That? You're very cute.

- stop that, mimsi!
- it's your eyes.

They're very sexy
When you can find them.

Mimsi, will you cut that out?

It's ironic, my dear, that
These very papers you covet

Will be the instrument with
Which I shall once again have...

Krispin, I'm running
Out of time and patience.

Mimsi, will you stop
It? Leave me alone!

Now, just let's sit down.

it may be hard for you
To believe, mr. Smart,

but the delicate creature
Before you is actually a woman

obsessed with a
Desire for power.

She wanted these papers so
That she could control kaos.

Well, here's the key.

Ah, the key. What key?

- the key to the statue zeus.
- oh, that key.

Yes, that's where
I keep the papers.

Isn't it appropriate that zeus

Should deliver you
Your precious papers?

- I'll have those papers, kinsey.
- mimsi!

Don't move, smart.

- mimsi!
- no, mr. Smart, not mimsi.

Not now or ever mimsi.

- "Mimsi"?
- yes, mimsi.

Stay where you
Are... Or I'll kill you.

you see, you were the only way

I could get those
Papers from my husband.

It would have been
So much simpler

If you'd just given them
To me in the first place.

Very well thought out, amanda,

But one slight miscalculation,
As there always is.

behind you is my man, gelson.

I see no purpose
In keeping you alive

Any longer, mr. Smart.

Just a moment. You've made one
Slight miscalculation yourself.

If you'll glance over my shoulder,
You'll see a statue of aphrodite,

Which is not really
A statue of aphrodite

but our own control agent 99.

Well, very good, but pluto

Behind your aphrodite
Is my man, bagel.

So you see, mr. Smart, you
Are in the hands of our guards.

But only temporarily.
Because behind your pluto

Are carvelas and szathmary,
Two of our best control agents.

I've run out of statues.

Yes, well, I haven't,
And I still have bacchus,

who happens to be
The chief of control.

Carvelas, szathmary,
Take them downtown.

And turn in those costumes before
Midnight, or we'll be charged double.

All right, max, now, can
We get inside? I'm cold!

Say, you know, you've
Got nice legs, chief.

- max!
- especially the right one.