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1
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,851
Uh, right away, 99.
2
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,877
All right. I'm
Coming, I'm coming.
3
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:18,195
99, that is a
Fantastic disguise.
4
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,598
- I never would have recognized you.
- but... But I'm not 99.
5
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,400
See, what did I tell you?
6
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,803
Please, mr. Smart, take it
Easy. Talk softly, I beg of you.
7
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,139
Oh, I get it.
8
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,708
You came here to
Deliver a secret message.
9
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,712
Secret? Heavens no! I want the
Whole world to know about this.
10
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,180
You do?
11
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,783
- the why are we whispering?
- please, mr. Smart,
12
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,647
There is no need for shouting.
13
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,456
Well, if we talk any softer,
14
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,492
We'll have to send
Each other letters.
15
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,227
Who are you anyway?
16
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,696
My name is albert pfister.
17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,599
P-f-I-s-t-e-r.
18
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,236
The "P" is silent
Like in pneumonia.
19
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,205
Oh, really? You know
That's very strange.
20
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,740
I had the same problem
21
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,409
With the last "L" in maxwell.
22
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:09,145
Look, mr. Pfister, I really
Would like to talk to you,
23
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:12,015
But I don't have any time. My
Associate is coming to pick me up.
24
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,283
Oh, but look, it
Won't take a moment.
25
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,619
I represent the...
26
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:18,354
Uh, please, mr. Pfister, we
Already gave at the office.
27
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:22,091
Oh, but that's impossible. I
Couldn't find your control office.
28
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,860
Well, of course
Not, mr. Pfister.
29
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,862
Control is one of
The most highly secret
30
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,532
Government
Agencies in the world.
31
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,835
Wait a minute. If you
Couldn't find control,
32
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,570
How did you know
Where to find me?
33
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:37,473
Oh, I telephoned kaos and
They gave me this address.
34
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:40,143
Oh yes, of course.
35
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:43,279
You see, mr. Smart,
You must listen to me.
36
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,449
The world is destroying
Itself with its own sounds.
37
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:49,318
Loud automobiles, squeaky shoes,
38
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:52,722
Noisy machines cranking
Out other noisy machines.
39
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,524
Yes, well, that's what
We call progress.
40
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,827
then we must reverse progress.
41
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,330
We have to take the world
Back to the beginning...
42
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:03,066
When it was peaceful,
Quiet, tranquil,
43
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:06,303
When a man could even hear
A blade of grass growing.
44
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,171
Oh, please, mr. Smart,
45
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,340
Sign my petition.
46
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,309
Uh, your petition. Yes, well...
47
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,245
It wouldn't do me any good to
Sign your petition, mr. Pfister.
48
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:18,548
You see, I'm a spy and my fountain
Pen is filled with invisible ink.
49
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,983
Now if you'll just
Excuse me, please.
50
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:24,721
Mr. Smart, join my
Crusade, I beg of you.
51
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,224
Help me to eliminate all the noise
In the world before it's too late.
52
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,259
Oh.
53
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,864
Excuse me, but that's
My associate now.
54
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,700
Well, won't you... Won't
You please sign my petition?
55
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:41,070
I'm sorry, mr. Pfister, but
I can't sign that petition.
56
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,661
Quiet is unamerican.
57
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,452
You were my last
Hope, mr. Smart.
58
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,989
Since you won't help me
Eliminate the noise of the world
59
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,358
I'll just have to...
60
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:05,017
Eliminate the world itself.
61
00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:10,566
Look, max, there it is.
62
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,869
So that's the new
Secret message drop.
63
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,697
Max, it exploded!
64
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:26,316
I don't understand, 99. The whole
Thing blew up without a sound.
65
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,919
But that's impossible. Explosions
Make noise and we didn't hear a thing.
66
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,355
Then what happened
To the statue, max?
67
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,857
I don't know.
68
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,491
That's unbelievable.
69
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,394
The statue blew up without a
Sound. What could have caused it?
70
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,097
It's incredible,
Absolutely unbelievable.
71
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:50,266
Are you sure you were looking
Directly at that statue when it blew up?
72
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,469
Yes, chief, it exploded
In complete silence.
73
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,237
I could hardly believe my eyes.
74
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,673
It was the weirdest thing
I've ever seen. Uh... Almost.
75
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,610
We're in trouble. It looks as if
Kaos has come up with a weapon
76
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,413
That could completely
Revolutionize the art of sabotage:
77
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,915
- a silent explosive.
- yes.
78
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,851
And there's only one man who
Could be responsible for it.
79
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,954
Their vice president in charge
Of public relations and terror.
80
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,491
My old enemy siegfried.
81
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,959
I think I'd better have a
Talk with mr. Siegfried.
82
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,629
Good thinking, max, but
How are you gonna find him?
83
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,433
Very simple, 99. I happen
To know that ludwig will be
84
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:26,603
At the smithsonian institute
At 9:00 a.M. On tuesday.
85
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,205
Max, who cares about
Ludwig? What about siegfried?
86
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,773
Chief, you don't understand.
87
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:33,510
Ludwig is the kaos
Code name for siegfried.
88
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,178
And 9:00 a.M. On tuesday
89
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,614
Is actually 11:00
A.M. On thursday.
90
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,115
It's almost that time now.
91
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,784
You'd better get started
For the smithsonian right away.
92
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:45,655
Chief, the smithsonian is
The kaos code name for park.
93
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,557
Max, get going right away!
94
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,159
Right, chief.
95
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:52,663
Listen, why don't you try
That on your head for a while?
96
00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:07,910
Well, 99, that statue
97
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,079
Is kaos's new
Secret message drop.
98
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,747
Isn't that strange, max?
99
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:15,017
Kaos having a secret message drop
In the same park where we have ours?
100
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,752
What's so strange about that?
101
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:19,556
They pay their taxes the same
Way we do. They're entitled.
102
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,224
Max, they represent evil.
103
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,526
99, these parks are
Open to everybody,
104
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,629
Regardless of race,
Creed or purpose.
105
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,399
I don't see siegfried. He must
Be around here somewhere.
106
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,202
Yes, I'd like to ask him
Where he gets the nerve
107
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,125
To blow up our
Personal property.
108
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,946
Where have you...
Where have you been?
109
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,048
I've been waiting und waiting
110
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,851
und standing here
For 17 seconds.
111
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,587
I was stopped by
A little old man.
112
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,555
What kind of a little
Old man stopped you?
113
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,634
With red earmuffs.
114
00:06:53,658 --> 00:06:56,492
Who wears red earmuffs
In weather like this?
115
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:59,128
The little old man
Who stopped me.
116
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,064
A little old man stopped me
Today. What did he ask from you?
117
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,933
He wanted me to
Sign a piece of paper.
118
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,801
- did you sign the piece of paper?
- no.
119
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,371
That's good. You can't
Write anyway. Now listen,
120
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:11,674
As long as you're here, this is
The instructions for the day.
121
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:16,412
First of all...
122
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:21,251
And secondly...
123
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,360
How do you like that? They
Destroyed their own property.
124
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,162
With the same silent
Explosion that hit ours.
125
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,030
I know that, 99.
126
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,767
Anybody couldn't
Have heard that.
127
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,570
And thirdly, when
You go to the statue,
128
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,338
Inside the statue's mouth
129
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:46,676
You'll find the...
130
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,379
- got it?
- hmm?
131
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,714
You're stupid!
132
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:54,784
You... Sissy!
133
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,852
- siegfried?
- what is it?
134
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,721
Where is the statue?
135
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,223
What do you mean,
Where is the statue?
136
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:04,093
I was watching the statue
And it exploded before my eyes.
137
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:07,104
Oh, it exploded? Did
You hear an explosion?
138
00:08:07,128 --> 00:08:07,463
No.
139
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,733
How could something explode
If you didn't hear an explosion?
140
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,302
You're right, siegfried.
141
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,637
- then the statue is there, right?
- of course.
142
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,306
So...
143
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,641
Where's the statue?
144
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,610
- siegfried?
- what?
145
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,713
There is maxwell
Smart and agent 99.
146
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:28,217
They blew up our statue.
147
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,753
Do you understand
The instructions?
148
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:34,924
Yeah. First we...
149
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,193
Second...
150
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,798
So, smart!
151
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,634
You return to the
Scene of your crime
152
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:48,070
To witness your own
Nefarious handiwork, eh?
153
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:51,407
If I knew what you were talking
About, siegfried, I'd answer that.
154
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,810
Come on, smart, do
Not play games with me.
155
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:57,046
You personally blew
Up our statue. Admit it!
156
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,849
I did not personally
Blow up your statue!
157
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,985
But you personally blew
Up our statue. Admit that!
158
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:06,321
Kaos had nothing to do with your
Explosion. You have my word on it.
159
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:10,292
Max, would you take the word of a
Man who is a murderer, a thief and a liar?
160
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,927
Only if he were sincere.
161
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:15,765
Look, smart, I'll take your word
You didn't blow up our statue
162
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,734
And you take my word I
Didn't blow up your statue.
163
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,236
All right, siegfried.
We believe each other.
164
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,072
- you did it, right?
- he did it, right?
165
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:28,010
Oh, this is ridiculous.
We're not getting anywhere.
166
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,646
Now supposing we believe
Each other, so what?
167
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,449
Someone blew up those
Statues. Who was it?
168
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:37,113
And why didn't the
Explosions make any noise?
169
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,855
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
170
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:42,425
A funny little man came to
My apartment this morning
171
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,360
With some crazy idea about
172
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,829
Making the world a
Quieter place to live in.
173
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:50,299
Wait another minute! This morning a
Funny little man came to my apartment
174
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,202
With some idea about making the
World a quieter place to live in.
175
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,037
Was he wearing red earmuffs?
176
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,539
ja.
177
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,363
I wonder if it was the same man.
178
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,079
Max, there's a pigeon
On your shoulder.
179
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,281
Yes, 99, I know there's
A pigeon on my...
180
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,604
Get him off!
181
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,541
Look, max, there's a
Message on his leg.
182
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:17,760
What does it say?
183
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,563
"Dear kaos and control,
184
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:24,400
I have paid you both back
For your refusal to help me.
185
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,035
Now the entire world
Will be made to suffer.
186
00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:30,973
In six hours, every major capital
City in the globe will be destroyed
187
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:34,843
By use of my miraculous
New explosive,
188
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:38,381
Nitrowhisperin.
189
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,283
Signed, albert...
190
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,653
The 'p' is silent... Pfister."
191
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,355
Max, this is horrible. He
Could blow up the entire world
192
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,157
And no one would
Ever hear about it.
193
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,493
That's not the worst of it, 99.
194
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,928
If he blew up the entire
World, there'd be nothing
195
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,931
For kaos and control to
Fight over. We'd be out of a job.
196
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:59,402
True, smart, true. Let's
Stop this fooling around
197
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,136
And find this fellow pfister.
198
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,238
If that pigeon
Were only a parrot,
199
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,174
He could tell us
Where he came from.
200
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,610
Max, that's it! This
Is a trained bird.
201
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:12,381
He's a homing pigeon. Why don't we
Just let him go and follow him home?
202
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,514
You don't like my idea?
203
00:11:13,538 --> 00:11:15,818
I love your idea, 99,
Because it's my idea.
204
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,486
You took it right
Out of my head.
205
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,789
That's what comes from
Working with someone so long.
206
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,090
But I don't understand.
207
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,827
How can we follow
A bird in flight?
208
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:29,164
How can you follow
A bird in flight?
209
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,334
You know something, siegfried,
210
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,936
For a kaos killer who's
Supposed to have some brains,
211
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,439
You have absolutely no
Imagination whatsoever.
212
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,342
How can you follow
A bird in flight?
213
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,243
99...
214
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,379
How can you follow
A bird in flight?
215
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,181
You attach a homing device
To the homing pigeon's leg
216
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,818
And then you home in on him
And then you follow him home.
217
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:52,154
that's how you
Follow a bird in flight.
218
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,857
Now all we need's
A homing device.
219
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,792
Kaos is always prepared.
220
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,562
I just happen to have an idea.
221
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,486
Shtarker!
222
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:07,870
Yes, well, you'll find that
Control is also always prepared.
223
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,606
I happen to have here
My mini direction finder
224
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,898
Which will home in
On your homing device.
225
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,982
All right, smart, the homing
Device has been attached
226
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,817
und activated.
227
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,219
Good work, siegfried.
228
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,454
Now, all we have to
Do is to launch the bird.
229
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:29,892
And then we can follow his every
Movement on my mini direction finder.
230
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:33,029
Then hurry, we have
Only 56 minutes left
231
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,287
To save the world und our jobs.
232
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,095
Come on, let's go!
He's getting away!
233
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:37,026
The world... The world
Is going to be destroyed
234
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,694
In another 45 minutes.
235
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:42,431
You're stupid! This is no time
To stop for traffic lights!
236
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:46,068
Don't tell that to me!
Tell it to the pigeon!
237
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,928
Look, max, he's
Flying into the park.
238
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,544
We'll have to follow our
Fine feathered friend on foot.
239
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,480
Yes, well, I hope he
Decides to walk too
240
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,305
Or we'll never
Catch him. Come on.
241
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,947
Max, here he is!
242
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,864
How do you like this?
20 minutes till doomsday
243
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,334
And he stops to take a bath!
244
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,035
I hope that he is not a she.
245
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,137
What difference
Does it make, shtarker?
246
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:25,441
I may be a killer, but I
Am not a peeping tom.
247
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,276
We've gotta get
That bird moving.
248
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,745
Let me handle this, 99. All
Right, bird, get out of there.
249
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,414
Go on now, get
Out of there, bird!
250
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,048
I'll handle it, smart!
251
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:34,583
All right, bird.
252
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,408
Fly up!
253
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:41,324
So you won't fly, eh?
254
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:44,927
We have ways of making you fly.
255
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:49,765
You have other relatives
Living in the park, nein?
256
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:52,901
Track him on your
Homing device, max.
257
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,103
Right, 99.
258
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:58,006
- I can't.
- why not?
259
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,398
I shorted it out.
260
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,960
All right, whoever you are,
Come out with your hands up!
261
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,684
You're wasting your time,
Max, there's no one here.
262
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,202
Well, whoever it
Was, he left in a hurry.
263
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,770
How could you be sure?
264
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,372
Well, obviously
He knows the world
265
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,773
Is gonna blow up in 10 minutes
266
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:33,576
And he was hurrying to get away.
267
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,943
Then he couldn't have gone far.
268
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,212
All right, everybody, spread out
269
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,114
And search the premises!
270
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,783
Max: if you don't
Mind, siegfried,
271
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,352
I'm still giving the
Orders around here.
272
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,755
All right, everybody,
Spread out!
273
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:49,392
and search the premises.
274
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,348
Ahem!
275
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:59,268
Pfister: mr. Smart.
276
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,904
Max, we're trapped.
277
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:05,308
It's pfister. Uh,
"Fister." the quiet man.
278
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,476
Not so loud, mr. Smart.
279
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,244
you were right the first time.
280
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:11,246
now then, gentlemen,
281
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:15,384
If you'll just toss your guns
Onto that counter over there,
282
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,119
I'll be very happy.
283
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,089
Well, all right, pfister. But
It's gonna make a heck of a noise.
284
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,157
No,
285
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,859
It will be silent as the grave.
286
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:27,050
Your grave, mr. Smart.
287
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,740
That's fantastic, it didn't
Make any noise at all.
288
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,476
That's right. You just witnessed
289
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,112
The first demonstration
Of my latest invention...
290
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:46,348
Sound-absorbing wood.
291
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,651
my entire life has
Been a crusade
292
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,687
Against this continuous-
Noise-filled world.
293
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:55,846
For example, my
Phonograph. Listen.
294
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,463
I don't hear anything.
295
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:04,199
Beautiful, isn't it?
296
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,768
It's the only
Record in the world
297
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,471
that plays three
Minutes of golden silence.
298
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,274
Well, it certainly is a
Catchy little tune, pfister.
299
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,642
Could we hear the flip side?
300
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:17,902
Unfortunately there
Is no time, mr. Smart.
301
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:24,820
Soon, my nitrowhisperin
Will write an end
302
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,823
To this noise-filled
World I loathe.
303
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,059
Well, I got to give you
A lot of credit, pfister.
304
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,061
A lot of people talk
About hating the world,
305
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,164
But nobody does
Anything about it.
306
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,666
That's right. And if it hadn't
Been for a fortunate accident
307
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,169
I wouldn't have been able
To do anything about it.
308
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:43,072
While I was working on my noise,
309
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,174
This firecracker for
The fourth of july,
310
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,177
I stumbled on nitrowhisperin.
311
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,212
But enough of this.
312
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,803
Your time has expired.
313
00:17:56,109 --> 00:18:01,623
Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.
314
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,092
How do you like that?
315
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:06,528
He invented a cuckoo
With laryngitis.
316
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,831
Yes, but what you
Failed to hear, mr. Smart,
317
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:11,533
Was the beginning of the end.
318
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:14,636
now then, if you'll all
Accompany me to the roof
319
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,539
You'll see the
Destruction of this planet
320
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,642
With no more sound
321
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:24,179
Than the cooing of a dove.
322
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:27,182
Well, mr. Smart,
323
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:29,551
What do you think of my...
324
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,187
My private air force?
325
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:35,523
I think you have a vivid
Imagination, mr. Pfister.
326
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:38,060
They look like
Ordinary pigeons to me.
327
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,795
Not ordinary.
328
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,531
They're all homing
Pigeons, mr. Smart,
329
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,100
Brought from
Every city on earth.
330
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:49,605
And on each leg is a small
Vial of nitrowhisperin.
331
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,440
Max, this is terrible.
332
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,175
Those birds are from some of the
Most important cities in the free world.
333
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:57,078
Yes, and those birds are from
Some of the most important cities
334
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,980
In the not-so-free world.
335
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:01,550
At least he doesn't
Believe in playing favorites.
336
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,985
Pfister: I wouldn't dream
Of it, mr. Siegfried.
337
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:06,855
They'll soon be winging back
To the place of their birth.
338
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,257
And the impact will activate
339
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:12,094
The nitrowhisperin
And eliminate every city
340
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:16,432
In a a great big glorious
Burst of silence.
341
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,601
The ultimate weapon...
342
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:23,105
Kamikaze pigeons.
343
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:26,675
And now it's time to send them
On their silent flight to oblivion.
344
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,912
and just in case you have
Any idea of interfering,
345
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,770
I'd like to warn
You I'm a crack shot.
346
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:40,256
Siegfried, we gotta stop him
Before he pulls those levers.
347
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,923
But you heard him.
348
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,660
He'll kill the first
One who moves.
349
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:48,030
Yes, but while he's doing
That, the others can grab him.
350
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,865
All right. After you move
351
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,301
I'll lead the attack.
352
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,204
That's not exactly
What I had in mind.
353
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,761
You might as well stop
Shouting, gentlemen.
354
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,076
Soon the only
Sounds you will hear
355
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,045
Will be my feathered friends
356
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,515
Singing the swan
Song to the world.
357
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,351
Max, we've got to
Do something fast.
358
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,653
Don't worry, 99, I'm
Way ahead of you.
359
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:14,022
Say, pfister, since this is
The end of the world anyway,
360
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,792
Do you mind if I have
A last cigarette?
361
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:20,484
Don't worry, it won't
Make any noise. It's a filter.
362
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,559
Ooh!
363
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,785
An ingenious device,
Smart. What is it?
364
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,821
The old long-playing-
365
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,224
High-frequency-ultrasonic-
366
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,928
Stereophonic-strike-the-match-against-the-
Sounding-board trick.
367
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,463
Works every time, siegfried.
368
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:58,467
well, looks like you and I
Have saved the world together.
369
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,369
It just goes to
Show you, siegfried,
370
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,604
That enemies can
Sometimes be friends.
371
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:05,574
True, smart, true.
Right, shtarker?
372
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:14,950
And now I am going to destroy
373
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:18,120
Your half of the world alone.
374
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,589
Max, he's gonna release
The free-world pigeons!
375
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,157
Siegfried: that's right, cookie.
376
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,793
And there's nothing
You can do to stop me.
377
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:28,263
Do you think he'd fall for the
Old long-playing-high-frequency-
378
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,999
stereophonic...
379
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,767
I'm afraid not, max.
380
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:36,171
Just one flick of my hand
381
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:39,241
And kaos will have won
Its greatest victory.
382
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:41,276
Just one flick of your hand
383
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,512
And kaos will be out
Of business, siegfried.
384
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,856
you got your hand
On the wrong lever.
385
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:48,472
Shtarker!
386
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,817
Stand aside, max,
I've got him covered!
387
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:09,571
You have lost once again, smart.
388
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:11,506
You see, that bird
I just released
389
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,575
Is headed...
390
00:22:13,599 --> 00:22:15,911
For the pentagon.
391
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:19,169
Max, the pentagon! It's doomed.
392
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:30,792
So, smart, you may
Have won the battle,
393
00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:32,294
But I won the war.
394
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:34,863
He's right, max.
In a few seconds
395
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,731
That bird will be flying
Over the pentagon
396
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,256
And it'll be the end. Max, look!
397
00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:44,473
Did I hear you say that one of
My birds went over the pentagon?
398
00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:46,208
Yes.
399
00:22:46,232 --> 00:22:50,212
I'm afraid my archenemy and
Good friend siegfried released it.
400
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:51,746
Pfister: no, he didn't.
401
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:54,750
That bird is not flying
Over the pentagon.
402
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:57,386
That bird, labeled pentagon,
403
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:59,421
I'm afraid is headed
404
00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:01,556
For one of your
Two headquarters.
405
00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:04,826
Don't tell me!
406
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:10,598
Kaos?
407
00:23:10,622 --> 00:23:13,057
Yes, kaos.
408
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:18,139
I asked you not to tell me that!
31508
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