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1
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:07,739
Right, sid. I'll see
You in a few minutes.
2
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,992
Hello?
3
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,561
Hello, 99. Max.
4
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,862
Oh, hello, max.
5
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,663
Listen, 99, are
You free tonight?
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,665
Oh-hh. Well, I'm
Sitting in for larrabee,
7
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,268
But he should be back soon.
What did you have in mind?
8
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,404
Oh, I don't know. I
Thought a few drinks,
9
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,607
A little dancing,
Maybe a late supper.
10
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,810
I'd love that. Shall I
Pick you up as usual?
11
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,613
Well, it's not
Exactly that way, 99.
12
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,915
You see, there's a
Buddy of mine in town
13
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,484
And uh, well, he asked
Me if I could get him a date.
14
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:44,256
I thought if you weren't
Doing anything tonight...
15
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,188
But, max...
16
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,123
Oh, one more thing, 99...
17
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:49,926
I wonder if you could get a
Girl for me while you're at it.
18
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:53,029
Nothing special... About
5'2", blonde hair, blue eyes...
19
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,986
99?
20
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,315
- who is it?
- gina matusik.
21
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,819
open the door, please.
I must speak to you.
22
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:27,763
- who?
- gina matusik.
23
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,499
I must speak to you, mr. Smart.
24
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,763
please open the door.
25
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:38,074
Gina matusik...
For heaven's sake.
26
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,076
I haven't seen
You in a long time.
27
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,744
We've never met, mr. Smart.
28
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,836
That long, eh? Come on
Over here and sit down.
29
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,851
There. Now,
30
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,853
What can I do for you?
31
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,590
Kaos has orders to
Find me and kill me,
32
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,491
But I think I've
Lost them for now.
33
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,727
Why in the world would
Anyone wanna kill you?
34
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:01,030
I've been working for
Kaos, but I've got to get away
35
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,233
And I haven't any money.
36
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,768
I have some very important
Information for you...
37
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,439
- for $50,000.
- $50,000?!
38
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,274
That's a lot of money.
39
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,976
Oh look, you're
Shaking all over.
40
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,677
Why don't you let
Me get you a drink?
41
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,813
Vodka, please.
42
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,750
Okay, vodka, eh?
43
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,442
Are you sure you're defecting?
44
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:47,143
- who is it?
- max, it's sid krimm.
45
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,278
open up. It's cold out here.
46
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:53,638
Uh, in a minute, sid.
Uh... I-I'm not dressed.
47
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,012
Max! Pussycat!
48
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,848
Sid, it's good to see you again.
49
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,571
You haven't changed a bit.
How long has it been now?
50
00:03:27,595 --> 00:03:28,150
15 years.
51
00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:30,419
- 15 years.
- you forgot seoul, korea, 1952.
52
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:33,122
Don't you remember? We said
If we both lived through this,
53
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:36,025
We'd get together again, huh,
Pal? We almost didn't make it.
54
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,761
- yeah, that was a tough bar, sid.
- remember this one...
55
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:41,464
Chosin reservoir? Remember
That... Pork chop hill?
56
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,399
Remember when we
Had these? Ha ha ha!
57
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:46,636
Look out, baby, incoming mail!
58
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,894
Boom!
59
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,375
Watch it, sid... Hand grenade!
60
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,432
I got it! I got it!
61
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,948
Holy cow!
62
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,906
What was that?
63
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,549
What do you mean "What grenade"?
64
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,452
- the grenade I just threw out the window.
- oh. Oh, uh...
65
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,487
That grenade. Yes,
Well, you see, sid,
66
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,556
The state department is
Only six blocks from here
67
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,758
And they keep getting
This building mixed up with it.
68
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,194
That's all part of the
Excitement of living in washington.
69
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,229
Come off it, max. You're
In some kind of trouble.
70
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,098
Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not in any trouble.
71
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,933
Aha, aha, I know... Gang wars.
72
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,169
- you're in the rackets.
- I'm not in anything!
73
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,204
I'm a greeting card salesman.
74
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,806
Oh, yeah? Greeting
Card salesman?
75
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,242
- with hand grenades?
- eh, yes, well, I...
76
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,144
I also sell hand grenades.
77
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,680
I mean, greeting cards and
Hand grenades are compatible.
78
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:40,083
Greeting cards and hand
Grenades go together?
79
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:43,119
Eh, yes. Let's look
At it like this, sid...
80
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,655
You see... There's
Mother's day, right?
81
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,657
And then there's
Christmas and...
82
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,293
In between mother's day
And christmas, there's, uh...
83
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,962
Uh, hunting week.
84
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,166
Where are you staying
While you're in town, sid?
85
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,902
Right here, sweetheart!
Right here in your place!
86
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,637
Yeah! Hey, what's this,
The button for the maid?
87
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,711
Don't tell me, sweetheart...
88
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,513
You're also in the business
Of selling fishing equipment.
89
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,915
Look, sid, you can
Go up in my bedroom
90
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:15,385
And sleep in my bed. The
Sofa is a little tricky.
91
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,353
"The sofa is a little tricky"?
92
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,322
What's in the bed, quicksand?
93
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:22,192
Listen... Max, tell me,
94
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,950
What kind of a discharge did you
Get when you got out of the army?
95
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,365
Honorable, of course. Why?
96
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,167
Oh, uh, eh, um, nothing,
97
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,503
Just-just a wild hunch.
98
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,739
Can we get out of the net now?
99
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:39,475
Oh, the net, right. Right, sid.
100
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,334
- just press the button again.
- hmm.
101
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:48,885
Well, enough of this stuff.
102
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,300
Let's get to the action.
Where're the broads?
103
00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:51,787
Broads?
104
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:56,225
Try to read my lips,
Dummy... Broads, dames.
105
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,128
Does the word "Girl"
Mean anything to you?
106
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,664
Yes. Well, I really
Haven't had a chance
107
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,533
To do anything about the girls,
108
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,902
But I'll tell you what... I'll go
Upstairs and I'll get into my class as
109
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,306
And then I'll try to arrange
Something. In the meantime, have a drink.
110
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,443
Aha, now you're talking,
Sweetheart. Now you're talking.
111
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:16,078
Two pusan painkillers
Coming right up!
112
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,381
Eh, make mine a
Scotch and soda, sid.
113
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:22,017
All right, that's one pusan
Painkiller for the sergeant,
114
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:25,555
And a scotch and
Soda for the wac.
115
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,894
No, chief. She's wounded.
116
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,563
You'd better call an ambulance.
117
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,431
I don't know what
Information she had.
118
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,166
She was shot before
I could find out.
119
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,502
Kaos thinks you've got
The information, max,
120
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,638
Or they wouldn't have
Thrown the grenade.
121
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,173
Go over the whole story
Again. There has to be some clue.
122
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,543
I might want more.
123
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:50,647
Hey, corporal,
Where're the broads?
124
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:54,150
Uh, I'm a little busy, sid.
Why don't you call them?
125
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:57,353
- look in my address book.
- address book.
126
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,221
- where is it?
- I don't know,
127
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,890
It's down there somewhere. Look.
128
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,848
All right.
129
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:12,234
Ahh...
130
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,837
Ha-ha...
131
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,239
Ahh, let's see now...
132
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,341
Shelly, mary,
133
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,878
Francine, sophie, barbara,
134
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,546
Dorothy...
135
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,616
Uh, zelda... Nan...
Nancy, that's the one!
136
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,040
Bingo!
137
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:34,412
Hey, corporal, you
Haven't lost your touch.
138
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,460
Guess that's the last
Part of the mind that goes.
139
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,367
Hello, nancy with
The laughing face?
140
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,770
Who's calling, please?
141
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,272
Maxwell smart here.
142
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:53,076
What are you doing tonight,
Baby? And let's do it together.
143
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:56,279
One moment, please.
144
00:08:56,303 --> 00:09:00,916
Maestro, maxwell smart's
Calling for your codename nancy.
145
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,718
He wants a date.
146
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,754
So smart does
Have matusik's book,
147
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:09,058
- but he doesn't know what it is.
- what should I do?
148
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,060
Let him think you're nancy.
149
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:15,932
This is nancy. What's
On your mind, max?
150
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,936
Listen, honey, I happen to
Have a friend of mine in town,
151
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,771
A good-looking guy... Sid krimm.
152
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:25,107
And I thought if you and your
Girlfriend could come over to our place,
153
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,051
We could have a
Wonderful evening.
154
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:33,249
On second thought, maybe
We could go out somewhere.
155
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:37,253
He wants to go out with me and
He needs a date for his friend.
156
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,723
Splendid. Take
Zelda along with you.
157
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,225
It'll give me a chance to
Search smart's apartment
158
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,894
For the book.
159
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,030
Ahem, okay, max,
160
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,033
And I've got a cute
Friend named zelda.
161
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,834
We'll meet you in an hour at...
162
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:55,304
- the pen and quill.
- the pen and quill.
163
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,673
Okay, meet you at
The pen and quill.
164
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,309
Right.
165
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,837
Action city! Oh, this
Is gonna be great.
166
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,777
Right, chief.
167
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,469
- got you, chief.
- sid: come on, max. Let's go.
168
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,424
I'll be with you
In a minute, chief.
169
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:52,194
Chief? Chief...
That's real cute, max.
170
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,830
What do you call your
Other shoe... "Minihaha"?
171
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,900
Look, sid, if you don't mind,
I'm talking to somebody.
172
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:02,338
Tell him he just missed custer's
Last stand on the stairway.
173
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,107
Oh, that? I can
Explain that, sid.
174
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:07,910
Explain? What for?
175
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,213
I was almost blown
Up by a hand grenade,
176
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,415
I was netted like a trout,
177
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,218
I was almost
Shish-kebabbed with this,
178
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:17,387
And I come in here
Now and I find you
179
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,722
Having a powwow with your shoe.
180
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,102
I can explain that, sid.
181
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,471
I'm telling you I
Can explain that.
182
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,107
There's nothing to explain.
183
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,809
You are a ding-a-ling.
184
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,744
I'm calling a doctor!
185
00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:43,780
Sid, you gotta give me a chance.
186
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,037
I'm telling you, sid,
I can explain this.
187
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,453
Sid, wait, I can explain.
188
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:54,090
There's no explaining.
I'm calling the wagon.
189
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,412
Sid, wait!
190
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,971
Well, that's all I
Can tell you, sid.
191
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:11,174
I work for the government,
192
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:14,076
And I'm on a secret mission.
193
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,645
You believe me, don't you?
194
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,548
I believe you.
195
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,517
You read a lot of
These spy books,
196
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,252
Cloak-and-dagger stuff.
197
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,254
No more than anyone else
198
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,946
Who works for the
Government on secret missions.
199
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,194
You don't believe me.
200
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,684
I believe you.
201
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,267
Listen, max, do me a favor, huh?
202
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:41,170
When we're out with
The girls tonight,
203
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,272
Don't talk into the shoe.
204
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,407
I understand,
205
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,678
But they're liable to think
You're a little eccentric.
206
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,662
I just got the word
From the maestro.
207
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,631
He's sure that smart has
The little black book on him.
208
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,534
He wants us to get
Him into the back room.
209
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,336
Oh.
210
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,672
The boys will take
Care of him in there.
211
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:19,875
Oh, I hope they don't hurt him.
212
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,444
I hate to see people get hurt.
213
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,936
Especially men.
214
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:34,445
That must be them.
215
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:38,527
Yeah yeah. There they are.
216
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,732
Wait a minute, sid,
Those girls look like kaos.
217
00:13:40,756 --> 00:13:42,031
Yeah yeah yeah, chaos.
218
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,834
You don't understand.
They look like spies.
219
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,568
Sure sure, they're spies.
220
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,738
Maybe one of them will
Try to kiss me to death
221
00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:50,640
And I'll have to sigh for help.
222
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,374
What are you
Talking about, spies?
223
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,243
I found them in your
Little black book.
224
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,478
Little black book? I don't
Have a little black book.
225
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,530
I've got a little red book.
226
00:13:57,554 --> 00:13:59,314
It was black when I
Found it on the floor.
227
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,750
It's black now.
228
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,985
So that's what she
Was trying to sell me.
229
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,855
Remember, smart has the book.
230
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,257
Now work on him and
Forget about krimm.
231
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,459
Which is which?
232
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:13,883
The dopey one with the
Beady eyes must be krimm.
233
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,799
- zelda: hi.
- hi, nancy, zelda.
234
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:19,868
Enough of the small
Talk. What do you say
235
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:22,304
We go to your place and
Have a little nightcap, eh?
236
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,573
Relax, honey,
We've got all night.
237
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,677
Now tell me, where did
You get my number, max?
238
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,478
I'm max, he's sid.
239
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,214
Where did you get
Our number, max?
240
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,584
I didn't call you, sid did.
241
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:36,719
Where did you get
Our number, sid?
242
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,255
Out of the little black
Book, the one he thinks is red.
243
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,157
All right, zelda, nancy,
244
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:44,593
About this little black book...
What is it? The kaos code?
245
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:48,119
Don't ask me, I'm
New around here.
246
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,667
Don't play dumb with me, sister.
247
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:54,469
I happen to be
An expert at that.
248
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:58,607
Okay okay, I'll tell you
What you wanna hear,
249
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,375
But in private.
250
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:03,412
- come on into the back room.
- yeah, that's a good idea.
251
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,247
The two of you go
In the back room,
252
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:09,585
Because zelda and I got a lot
Of talking to do, huh, honey?
253
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,979
Sid: uh, bye-bye.
254
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,394
You gotta humor max.
255
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,997
Poor boy, he thinks he's a spy.
256
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:22,988
He is.
257
00:15:23,012 --> 00:15:25,935
And he thinks you
Two girls are spies too.
258
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,603
We are.
259
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,505
Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm a spy too.
260
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:33,175
Really? You don't look like one.
261
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:36,612
Nancy, stop stalling. What's so
Important about this black book?
262
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,803
Boris!
263
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,556
Attaboy, max. Don't
Take no for an answer.
264
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,681
Come on, baby, loosen up.
265
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,248
See? Nancy and
Max are having fun.
266
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,052
Hey, why do you get the wild
Broads and I get the clams?
267
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,854
Not now, sid. I'm busy.
268
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,598
Max! What are you
Doing with a gun?
269
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,634
They're all spies, sid, and I'll
Shoot the first one that moves.
270
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,337
I know they're all spies, max,
271
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,806
But I'm not a spy.
272
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,242
I'm your old sergeant sid.
273
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,711
You wouldn't shoot me,
Would you, corporal?
274
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,369
- of course not, sergeant.
- good.
275
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:52,388
Sorry, old buddy, but I had
To save you from yourself.
276
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,056
What started all this?
277
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,658
That book is ours.
278
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,592
Oh?
279
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,376
He's got a red one, anyway.
280
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,664
No hard feelings, okay?
281
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,788
Okay, no hard feelings.
282
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,324
Sid, what happened?
283
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,560
Boy, you started some fight
Back there. I got you out of a jam.
284
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,363
Boy, you can get in trouble
Carrying a gun, old buddy.
285
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,565
You don't understand.
I'm a control agent!
286
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,501
You certainly lost
Control back there.
287
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,704
The book! The little black book...
What happened to the book, sid?
288
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,107
Max, address books
Are a dime a dozen.
289
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,010
- don't tell me you gave them the book?
- I gave them the book.
290
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,945
I asked you not to tell me that.
291
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,613
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, sid.
292
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,116
You never forget a number.
Do you remember nancy's?
293
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,985
- I've got it right up here?
- good.
294
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,387
With that number, I'll
Be able to trace the girls
295
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,422
And when I find the
Girls, I'll find kaos.
296
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:03,425
And when I find kaos, I'll find
That little black book. Right?
297
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,494
- wrong.
- wrong? What do you mean "Wrong"?
298
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:08,998
I'm not gonna give you that number.
You caused those girls enough trouble.
299
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:11,367
Sid, you have got to
Give me that number.
300
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,270
Our whole national
Security depends upon it.
301
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,272
If I have that
Number, I may be able
302
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,243
To save america from
A terrible catastrophe.
303
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:21,310
Well good. You save america.
I've gotta get me a broad.
304
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:24,179
I'm so lonely.
305
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,748
All right, sid. I
Didn't wanna do this.
306
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,640
I didn't wanna do it, but
You're forcing me into it.
307
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,581
I'm gonna prove to you
That this is important.
308
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,855
Hello, chief? Uh, I'm sorry
To wake you at this hour.
309
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,870
Well, you see, a friend
Of mine thinks I'm crazy.
310
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,695
Boy, that's some
Ride for a dime.
311
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:16,031
Telephone company
Know about this?
312
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,200
Oh, hi, max.
313
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,202
Hi, 99.
314
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:23,972
I'd like you to meet a
Friend of mine. Sid, this is 99.
315
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,974
Her name is 99?
316
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,438
I'm very happy to meet you, sid.
317
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:33,182
I get it, you old fox.
318
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,984
- what are you talking about?
- hey, I don't blame you.
319
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,020
If I had something
That looked like that,
320
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,190
I'd keep her under lock and key.
321
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:43,654
Has she got a sister?
322
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:48,864
Uh-oh, now we're in for
It... Here comes her old man.
323
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,733
Don't be ridiculous.
That's the chief.
324
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,935
- hi, chief.
- this better be important, max,
325
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,227
Getting me down here
In the middle of the night.
326
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,409
You see, chief,
It's like this...
327
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,878
My buddy sid here came
From out of town to visit me.
328
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,948
And he found the information
That matusik left in my apartment...
329
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,116
It was a little black
Phone book. So he gave it
330
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,785
To a couple of kaos
Agents because...
331
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,087
He thought it was just a
Little black phone book.
332
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,823
Now he won't give me nancy's
Number because he doesn't believe
333
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,692
I'm a control agent.
He thinks I'm crazy.
334
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,393
so I had to bring him down here
335
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:21,830
So you could tell him that I'm a
Control agent and I'm not crazy.
336
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:25,494
Chief, tell him I'm a control
Agent and I'm not crazy.
337
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,136
Would you tell him
I'm a control agent?
338
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,805
- he's a control agent.
- max: there you are, sid.
339
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:33,575
You see, I'm a control
Agent and so is the chief
340
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:36,378
And so is 99. Now,
Do you understand?
341
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,114
I understand.
You're all bananas.
342
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,483
I don't think we can
Convince him, chief.
343
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:44,420
- why don't you try the hotline?
- that's a great idea, chief.
344
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,087
Try the hotline
To the white house.
345
00:20:46,111 --> 00:20:47,823
Not at this time of the morning.
346
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:51,126
Absolutely impossible. I've only
Got three years to retirement.
347
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,161
But, chief, this
Is an emergency.
348
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,187
- if you don't call, I will.
- I'll call.
349
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:05,474
Good morning, sir.
350
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,110
It is important, sir.
351
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:11,179
Yes, sir, I know I have only
Three years to retirement,
352
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:14,849
But well, sir, this
Friend of agent smart's...
353
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:17,653
Sorry, sir.
354
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:20,222
Anyway, his friend
Has a phone number
355
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,658
That could help us
Crack kaos wide open,
356
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,761
but he won't give us the number
Because he doesn't believe who we are.
357
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,696
Yes, sir, you can talk to him.
358
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,440
He wants to talk to you.
359
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,758
What is this, dial-a-cow?
360
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:38,406
I'll make you feel at home.
361
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,749
Hello? Yeah.
362
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,483
Oh, sure. Oh, sure you are.
363
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,775
Yeah, wonderful.
And I'm sidney bird.
364
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,956
Oh oh oh, all right, sure...
365
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,914
You're who?
366
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,860
Bless night... Uh,
Good... Good night.
367
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,232
Do you believe us now, sid?
368
00:22:17,803 --> 00:22:19,548
What are you
Standing around for?
369
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:22,484
Let's get the
Barbecue on the roll.
370
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:25,353
you, old man, four
Coffee and danish.
371
00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:28,357
And you, mata hari... A
Map and a phone book.
372
00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,859
and you, dummy, a
Pencil and a paper.
373
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:34,429
Come on, hurry up.
Let's move it! Move it!
374
00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:37,599
Listen, I gotta tell
You guys something...
375
00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:41,692
I've never met him, but
I use his baby powder.
376
00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,145
Relax, sid. Sit down,
377
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:52,714
Make yourself comfortable.
This won't take long.
378
00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:54,382
I'll be back in a couple hours.
379
00:22:54,406 --> 00:22:56,774
What do you mean?
I'm going along.
380
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:02,891
Don't be ridiculous.
381
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,893
This kind of a job
Calls for a man
382
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:07,529
With a cool head, steel nerves
383
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:10,833
And fantastic reflexes.
384
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:13,891
Listen, max, I think you'd
Better let me go along.
385
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,278
Smart's in there, all right.
386
00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:24,946
Yes, the maestro was right...
387
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,215
- he's going after that little black book.
- hmm.
388
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:30,185
He's gonna have to settle
For a little black box.
389
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,721
I need him to make
This week's quota.
390
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,858
I don't understand you,
Sid. I'm a secret agent,
391
00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:38,160
I have to go. But
What's your angle?
392
00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:40,295
What do you mean
What's my angle?
393
00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:42,064
I wanna defend my country too.
394
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,566
And you happen to be
My buddy. And, besides,
395
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,825
I happen to know that every
Secret agent gets all the broads.
396
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:51,673
You're not going.
That's it, forget it!
397
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:53,341
that's final! You're not going!
398
00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:55,978
If you don't take me along,
I'm gonna spill everything
399
00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:57,712
I know about control
Headquarters.
400
00:23:57,736 --> 00:23:59,815
All right, you can go,
401
00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:03,451
But no gun. Here.
402
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:07,055
you're liable to get trigger-happy
And get your fool head shot off.
403
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:09,458
Sid: oh, great
Thinking, max. great.
404
00:24:09,482 --> 00:24:11,748
without a gun,
I'm a sitting duck.
405
00:24:13,319 --> 00:24:15,264
That makes one sitting duck
406
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,187
And one dead duck.
31047
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