All language subtitles for Get.Smart.1965.S03E12.REMASTERED.DVDRip.XviD-FQM

Well...

How about a little of
That wine I promised you?

I had it imported

From napa valley, california.

Lips that touch wine
Shall never touch mine.

Oh.

Well, that might make
Drinking this a little difficult.

How about a cigarette?

I don't smoke.

I don't think I understand.

This is health food.

Those matches are for nibbling.

Try one.

Hmm, not bad... Peppermint.

Try one of my cigarettes.

It's, uh... Tutti-frutti.

Just full of quick energy.

The road to better
Health is a healthy diet.

Okay,

Why don't we wash it all
Down with a little aqua pura?

Mr. Smart, you are so handsome,

So sophisticated...

je t'adore.

Oh, is it open?

enchantee.

Oh, mr. Smart,

May I call you max?

That was a wonderful kiss.

It did seem to send
Sparks all through me.

Well, I'll drink to that.

What was that, max?

Oh nothing, really. Someone
Just trying to poison me.

- really?
- yes. While I was kissing you,

He shot this wire over my head
And sent down a poison pellet,

But it missed and fell
On the bar, right here.

At least, it was right here...

Unless, of course...

Don't tell me you
Put it in my drink.

I put it in your drink.

I asked you not to tell me that.

That poison is a
Gift from kaos...

Mr. Smart...

Compliments of mr. Hercules.

At exactly 1:00 tomorrow,

You will be dead.

What are we doing here, chief?

I don't need entertainment,
I need an antidote.

Max, backstage at the follies
Is our front for the control lab

- and it works perfectly for dr. Steele.
- dr. Steele?

Our head toxicologist,
The best there is

In the field of
Poisoning and antidotes.

Well, does this doctor
Practice or rehearse?

Relax, max. Nine
Out of 10 doctors

- who get poisoned come to dr. Steele.
- shh!

Well, I've heard of big
Suitcases, but this is ridiculous.

It's the only way we can
Keep kaos from discovering

The location of
Dr. Steele's lab, max.

Oh, doctor. This is your patient...
The case I was telling you about.

I'll be right with
You, mr. Smart.

- that's dr. Steele?
- yes.

The chorus line is her cover.

- not much of a cover, is it?
- max!

Well, I'm not dead yet, chief.

Have a seat, mr. Smart.

I'm working on your case.

I'm trying to analyze exactly
What poison is in your system.

- you haven't finished yet?
- no.

Unfortunately, the opening
Number ran a little long.

Yes. Well, could you
Please hurry, doctor?

Oh, one does not
Hurry the process

Of scientific
Research, mr. Smart.

Oh, would one remember
That one is going to die

At 1:00 tomorrow afternoon

And I'm the one who's the one?

Max, please, dr. Steele
Can't find an antidote

Until she discovers what
Kind of poison you took.

Try to cooperate.

Imagine...

A deadly poison released
Into the bloodstream

Every second.

Building, building
To its inevitable end,

And it doesn't even
Upset your stomach.

Will you forget the commercial?
What about the antidote?

There.

- the antidote.
- no, it's the poison.

The very same poison the
Kaos scientists invented.

I don't understand.
The same poison?

Yes, I succeeded in discovering
The formula weeks ago!

However, I haven't yet been able

to master the secret
Of the delaying action.

Mine is fatal in
Exactly 30 seconds.

- but I'm certain that I can...
- man over p.A.: onstage in two minutes.

you're on, miss steele.

Dr. Steele, what
About the antidote?

Don't worry, mr. Smart.

Since I know the
Formula for the poison,

I have no doubt that
I can find an antidote.

Well, that's great. When?

Shouldn't take me
More than six months.

Six months?!

Well, that is, if the show
Doesn't go on the road.

Maybe I can get another
Dancing doctor in to help you.

I'm gonna die at 1:00 tomorrow.

I know, mr. Smart.

I said six months, but it
Could happen any time.

I'm going to find an answer.

What I don't know is when.

Just my luck

to find it tomorrow at 2:00.

You don't know how
Badly that makes me feel.

It could be tomorrow, or
It could be... The next day

Or it could be in a week
Or it could be a month.

Well, as long as it could be,
Could it be in a half an hour?

Doctor, there must be
Something you can do.

Well, I've already
Checked the computer.

Unless I can find an
Answer between the shows...

I'm afraid this is official.

"Maxwell smart...

dead."

- man over p.A.: onstage.
- whoo!

- excuse me.
- onstage for rehearsal, miss steele.

- but...
- this is the big finale.

This is crazy. She's crazy!

You're all crazy! I don't
Believe I'm gonna die!

I'm gonna get out of here
And find another doctor...

A real doctor, one
With funny legs.

Man's voice: you have
At least nine hours,

perhaps as much
As 18, mr. Smart.

Max's voice: the first doctor
Gave me from one to two days.

he may be right. I hope so.

but frankly I think
You'll die at 1:00 p.M. Today.

I have no family...

haven't had a day
Off since spy school.

there's no way I can crowd 30
Years of living into one afternoon.

the only thing I can
Do is check out quietly.

Help!

Home early, mr. Smart?
Getting ready for a big evening?

Yes, john. You might
Say this is the big one.

I wish I were going.

You will be going someday.

- hm?
- listen, john,

If I don't see you again, I
Wanna thank you for everything.

You're moving?

Yes. Well, you might
Say I'm moving on.

After tonight, john, well...

- this is goodbye.
- wait a second,

- what about the five bucks you owe me?
- I'll pay you tomorrow.

Max? Max?!

I just got back from a case
And I heard you were sent home.

- I hope you're not ill.
- not ill, 99.

- oh, good.
- dead.

Max, what are you saying?!

I'll be dead in one
Hour and 14 minutes.

Make that one hour, 13
Minutes and 59 seconds.

- max, there must be some mistake.
- there's no mistake, 99.

21 doctors have confirmed
It... I've been poisoned

And there's absolutely no
Chance of finding an antidote in time.

But there must be
Something that can be done.

There's nothing
That can be done.

At 1:00, maxwell
Smart will be dead.

Only his legend will live on.

Max, you just can't take
Your death lying down.

You're right, 99.

- there is something I can do.
- what's that?

Kill the man who's responsible
For trying to murder me.

- do you know who he is?
- no, we've never met,

But the girl who poisoned me
Told me his name was mr. Hercules.

What girl?

The girl that was in
My apartment last night.

I thought you were
Working last night.

Uh, yes! Well, a man
Needs a little relaxation...

After all, all
Work and no play...

Makes max a dead boy.

Oh, I'm sorry, max. I
Shouldn't have said that.

- do you know where we can find the girl?
- no.

Well, maybe she left a clue.

Shh!

All right, turn around, put
Your hands up against the wall.

- come on, move! Move, turn around!
- but...

Don't.

All right, turn around.

Just who are you?
What do you want?

What are you doing
In my apartment?

I'm elwood box, and this is
No longer your apartment.

This is government property.

- do you know who I am?
- yes, I do, mr. Smart,

And you were a
Wonderful man. Believe me,

My heart broke when I
Heard that you were dead.

That's not so! Max is not dead!

Please, let's not
Complicate matters.

I have orders here

From the control termination
Department to pick up your body.

Not until 1:00, you don't.

Mr. Smart,

Don't be selfish.

Please don't
Waste my entire day.

Now can't I have the
Body a little earlier?

No, you can't have the
Body a little earlier.

I'd like to use it to
Try and find my killer.

Very well. I'll see you at 1:00.

And please do me a favor...

While you're looking,
Wear a dark suit.

Uh, shoes are optional.

You got a match, 99?

Oh, here's one, max.

99, these matches...
That girl left them here.

- they're peppermint.
- max, are you delirious?

Here, try one.

You're right.

And these cigarettes
Are tutti-frutti.

- what do you think it means, max?
- it's our clue, 99.

Happy's health food shop.

Good afternoon.

The road to better health

Is a healthy diet.

99, that's the same
Thing the girl said to me.

Is one of your customers a girl?

Sometimes.

Describe her, max.

I really didn't pay that
Much attention to her, 99.

let's see. She was about 5'6",

Soft blonde hair,

38-23-36 measurements,

Deep blue eyes
And delicious lips.

- max, she tried to poison you!
- well, it's not all gravy, you know?

What can you tell me about this?

Oh, it's certainly
Not poison, sir.

It... It's organically
Grown peppermint.

- yes, but what I wanna know...
- max, look!

Didn't you tell me
That the girl told you

That the poison was with the
Compliments of a mr. Hercules?

Of course... Hercules gym.

Listen, can you tell us how
We can get to 718 beacon street?

It's...

A pretty far trip.

you... You go down 14th here...

And turn left on clark street.

and then you want
To go further to the...

Watch the crossroads.

Forget it! I'll be dead
Before you finish!

Come on, 99.

How's the formula for the
Antidote going, dr. Steele?

- dr. Steele: mm...
- looks pretty hopeless,

- but she's still working on it.
- is there anything I can do to help?

- can you dance?
- I don't think so.

Then forget it.

- chief?
- what?

It's a miracle! I
Found the antidote!

- are you sure?
- I'm positive.

I'll have it ready for
You in a few minutes.

Great work, dr. Steele.

- now all we have to do is find max.
- is there time?

We still have 25 minutes.
His homing device!

We'll zero in on
Him by triangulation.

- larrabee, turn on the locator.
- right, chief.

Man on p.A.: onstage
For rehearsal, miss steele.

Thank you, steele. I can't tell
You what this means to control.

You... You've done it again.

I'm grateful.
Dr. Steele, the antidote?!

- oh, it's right there on the table.
- oh.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

There it is!

Southwest corner
Of z street and 15th.

Come on. Hold it!
That's this building.

- he's here!
- it's pinpointed right in this room.

What a time for him
To forget his coat!

Wait a minute. His shoe phone.

Female voice: I'm sorry,
The number you are calling

has been disconnected.
The subscriber is deceased.

- but...
- this is a recording.

What's wrong, chief?

The line's dead.

And if I can't find max
In exactly 23 minutes,

He'll be dead too.

Oh, good morning.
May I help you?

Yes. Well, we'd just
Like to look around.

Yes, sir. Are you a member?

- no, as a matter of fact, I'm not.
- today is your lucky day.

Yes. Well, so far, it's
Been just about average.

Because today only, you
Can buy a lifetime membership...

Usually a $695 value...

For only $500.

That's almost $200 off.
That's quite a saving, 99.

- I think I might just...
- max, you have no time.

Oh, right.

How much will it cost
To join for 17 minutes?

Oh, we don't need
Any money down, sir.

We'll bill you
Later. Just sign here.

Yes. Well, in that case, I'd
Like to take out a membership

For this young lady.
You can just bill me

Anytime after tonight.

You check that door,
I'll check this one.

Oh, pardon me.

On second thought,
You'd better check this one

And I'll check that one.

Mr. Smart.

Well, if it isn't the
Health-food lucrecia borgia.

- please raise your hands, mr. Smart.
- and what if I don't?

- I will shoot you.
- big deal.

I'm afraid that doesn't worry me
Anymore. You see, I'm already dead.

Killing me could become
A very bad habit with you.

There's nobody...

99, this is the girl I
Was telling you about...

The girl who poisoned
Me. Janet, 99;99, janet.

Mr. Smart, I know you're not
Concerned about your own life,

But I am sure you are
Concerned about hers.

Now, both your guns, please.

Now move this way.

Hold it. You go in there.

You, in there;

You, continue down the hall.

Go.

Through the door, mr. Smart.

Gentlemen, this fight
Will have to be short.

I have less than 10 minutes.

And I have nothing to lose.

Sit down, mr. Smart.
You're right on time.

I've been expecting you.

Well, you'd certainly
Never know it

From the reception I just got.

Merely a small delaying action.

I wanted you to arrive
Precisely at this moment

So I can personally watch
My poison take effect.

What are you, some kind of a nut

That likes to see people die?

Yes, it's such a
Marvelous contrast

To my own splendid health.

You have just three
Minutes, mr. Smart.

Will you join me
In a last drink?

Most certainly not.
That's against regulations.

I happen to be
Working on a case.

Not even the antidote
That will save your life?

Uh, yes. Well, uh,
Come to think about it,

I think I might have
Just a little nip.

Not so fast, mr. Smart.

I want the key to
Control's new secret code.

Give me that and
The antidote is yours.

- forget it.
- you haven't much time, mr. Smart.

Right now, your
Vision is blurring,

And you're becoming
Uncoordinated.

Oh, really? That's
What you think.

The information?

Hand me that pad.

Fine, mr. Smart, now drink up.

Mr. Smart, I thought
You were a man of honor.

This is the key
To your old code.

That's right, mr. Hercules,
Control procedure #3.

I have swallowed the antidote

And you have phony information.

the game of espionage
Is such fun, isn't it?

While you gave me
Phony information,

I gave you a phony antidote.

You've been reading
The control handbook.

You're wasting precious time.

Play fair with me and
I'll play fair with you.

Here's the real antidote.
You have exactly...

One minute and 30 seconds left.

- well?
- well, that's a tough decision to make.

Could we have that drink now?

Well, certainly.

What will it be...

Carrot juice, onion juice
Or farkleberry juice?

Farkleberry juice?!

From the bark of
The farkleberry tree.

Oh, yes. Well,
That will be fine...

I'll have farkleberry juice.

Good.

I'm a carrot-juice man, myself.

I wonder if I could have my
Farkleberry juice on the rocks.

Of course.

Cheers.

Ahh...

Here's your chaser, mr. Smart.

You have exactly 45 seconds

To get the bitter taste of
Death out of your mouth.

Well, that's 15 seconds more
Than you have, mr. Hercules.

- what?
- that's right.

I put the same
Poison in your drink...

Only it kills in 30 seconds.

help! help me out.

somebody let me out!

Stand back, 99! Stand back.

- what happened?
- I was locked in there

- by the girl who poisoned max.
- do you know where she went?

- she must be somewhere in the building.
- what did she look like?

She has blonde hair and she's
Wearing a candy-striped dress.

Larry, go find her. Where's max?

- I don't know, chief.
- let's look in the gymnasium.

It's too late,
Chief! He is dead!

Chief. - huh?

What did he say, chief?

He said would I get
My knee off his chest?

All right.

Chief, what happened? Did I die?

No, max, it's all
Right, you're alive!

Dr. Steele discovered
The antidote, max.

It came to her during the
Finale. You owe her your life.

Well, I'll have to think of
A way to repay her, chief.

Maybe a new cane or a test
Tube... What do you think?

You can start
By paying her bill.

What bill?

$48?! For what?!

For your life, max.

But she works for control.

She developed this
On her own time, max.

But this is ridiculous. This is the
Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

I'm not paying this bill! $48?
That's out of the question!

Forget about it! I wouldn't
Pay it if my life depended on it!

It does, max. You have to take
Another dose of this tomorrow

And she has to give it to you if
You're to complete your cure.

99,

Do you have $48 you could
Let me have until payday?