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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,434 --> 00:00:10,690 Pay attention to the film. You'll miss the scary bits. 2 00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:14,864 I have to remember to take Alfie to flute on Tuesdays and Mandarin on Wednesdays. 3 00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:16,743 I have to figure out what capital gains tax is 4 00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:19,373 and why this man is so mad at me for not paying it. 5 00:00:19,373 --> 00:00:23,047 And then, I have to wash my clothes, and dry my clothes, and wear my clothes, 6 00:00:23,047 --> 00:00:24,968 and then wash them again, and it never ends. 7 00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:28,474 So frankly, Jen, the dry Egyptian man is the least of my worries. 8 00:00:28,474 --> 00:00:29,936 Look! 9 00:00:29,936 --> 00:00:32,859 Yeah, this one's a bit naff anyway. I want a proper scare. 10 00:00:47,972 --> 00:00:51,520 Do you know what it feels like to be dead? 11 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,652 Oh! Hi, Dad. Forgot it was Wednesday. We're having a scary movie marathon. 12 00:00:54,652 --> 00:00:57,324 - Can I call you back? - Wait for me. I'm almost home. 13 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,786 Okay. Happy Halloween. 14 00:00:58,786 --> 00:01:00,831 Mmm. Happy Halloween, pet. 15 00:01:02,459 --> 00:01:05,591 Can't you do that in private? It's so morbid. 16 00:01:05,591 --> 00:01:07,762 It's not my fault you're a massive pussy. No offence. 17 00:01:07,762 --> 00:01:08,889 I am not a pussy. 18 00:01:09,891 --> 00:01:10,893 Okay. 19 00:01:17,072 --> 00:01:18,116 Put your hand in this box. 20 00:01:18,742 --> 00:01:19,869 Why? What's in it? 21 00:01:19,869 --> 00:01:21,288 Oh, are you afraid? 22 00:01:48,594 --> 00:01:50,723 You know what? I don't need to prove anything to you. 23 00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:52,267 - Oh, okay. - So, yeah. 24 00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:54,606 Oh, there's a rat in here. 25 00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:55,691 - What? - What? 26 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,822 Oh, no! 27 00:01:58,822 --> 00:02:00,116 Why would you do that? 28 00:02:00,116 --> 00:02:03,080 - I thought it was empty! - I fucking hate Halloween! 29 00:02:07,130 --> 00:02:11,388 No, I wasn't evading tax. Yeah, Hercule. Four years. 30 00:02:11,388 --> 00:02:13,685 No, sir, I would never take your mick. 31 00:02:14,854 --> 00:02:17,192 Well, I didn't have thumbs, 32 00:02:17,192 --> 00:02:19,697 and you have to consider I was very, very small. 33 00:02:19,697 --> 00:02:20,699 Hello? 34 00:02:24,039 --> 00:02:25,500 - When's it get scary? - Soon. 35 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,630 They haven't introduced the creature yet. 36 00:02:39,988 --> 00:02:42,158 A crone! 37 00:02:42,158 --> 00:02:43,536 It's just me! 38 00:02:44,496 --> 00:02:46,626 Oh. It's just me. 39 00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:49,131 Did you just call me a crone? 40 00:02:49,131 --> 00:02:50,676 Is that the word I used? 41 00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:54,851 I'm not that frumpy, am I? 42 00:02:54,851 --> 00:02:58,609 Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift. You're single on Halloween. 43 00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:00,528 It's the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone. 44 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,115 There's so many options. 45 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,581 Classic slut, topical slut, scary slut, slut slut. 46 00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,585 Can I be a slut on Halloween? 47 00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:09,129 Sluts don't have to pay capital gains tax, do they? 48 00:03:09,129 --> 00:03:11,133 Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax. 49 00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:17,187 - What if I've forgotten how to do it? - Do what? 50 00:03:17,187 --> 00:03:19,524 Interact with men with a view to sex in the future? 51 00:03:19,524 --> 00:03:20,903 Don't phrase it like that to begin with. 52 00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:23,240 I've got so comfortable with Kash, 53 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,207 I've forgotten how to be sexy. 54 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,421 Well, it's like riding a seductive bike. It'll come back to you. 55 00:03:31,591 --> 00:03:35,473 And if it doesn't, you know, just be yourself. 56 00:03:37,519 --> 00:03:40,358 And you fell in love with me, but I can hardly blame you. 57 00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:44,032 All men do. I'm irresistible. 58 00:03:58,060 --> 00:03:59,605 I'm sorry for what I did. 59 00:04:02,402 --> 00:04:04,406 And I'd do it all over again if I had to. 60 00:04:04,406 --> 00:04:06,870 And you want me to what again, darling? 61 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,625 Uh, teach me how to be sexy? 62 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:13,717 Or just, I guess, um, sex adjacent. Semi-skimmed. That's fine. 63 00:04:13,717 --> 00:04:16,806 Well, you came to the right place, dollface. 64 00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:20,521 They used to say if it was in Hollywood and breathed, 65 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:24,947 I'd be under it, over it... ...and inside it. 66 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,537 Fingering, darling. 67 00:04:29,164 --> 00:04:33,214 Now, listen here, pretend to fall over. 68 00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:37,932 Oops. And grab on to his johnson for support. 69 00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:42,983 Oh, no. I seem to have forgotten my brassiere. 70 00:04:44,528 --> 00:04:47,158 Hold these for me, would ya? 71 00:04:48,536 --> 00:04:50,373 If you don't know what to do with your hands, 72 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,379 just put them out like this and shake your tushy. 73 00:04:53,379 --> 00:04:56,510 Always look like you're listening, even when you're not. 74 00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:57,428 Mm-hmm. 75 00:04:57,428 --> 00:05:00,143 Laugh at everything they say, even if it ain't funny. 76 00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:05,236 Pretend you're illiterate and get them to read the menu to you. 77 00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:06,948 Men love a dum-dum. 78 00:05:09,202 --> 00:05:11,164 Uh-- When did we make a martini? 79 00:05:12,668 --> 00:05:16,133 Do keep up, darling, or I'll leave you behind. 80 00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:17,343 Oh. 81 00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:21,268 " Times your Nan called you fat." Do you want that for the body image shelf, 82 00:05:21,268 --> 00:05:22,813 or shall I keep it for the family trauma wing? 83 00:05:22,813 --> 00:05:24,191 Hit me. 84 00:05:25,652 --> 00:05:26,738 Old cow. 85 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:35,463 Hmm. I think I found something interesting. 86 00:05:38,052 --> 00:05:39,764 They're numbered like part of a series. 87 00:05:39,764 --> 00:05:42,018 - You more afraid of cancer or bears? - Bears. 88 00:05:42,853 --> 00:05:44,231 I have my reasons. 89 00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:45,817 The numbers are a list. 90 00:05:45,817 --> 00:05:48,030 If we find number one, we'll find what you're most afraid of in life. 91 00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,243 And that could be what's holding me back from my power? 92 00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:52,790 Try and find the rest. Maybe there's a horror section. 93 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:55,044 Or would they be in something scary-looking? 94 00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:58,008 No offence, your subconscious isn't subtle. There's usually a sign. 95 00:05:59,094 --> 00:06:00,096 Okay. 96 00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:09,824 I think I found it. 97 00:06:09,824 --> 00:06:15,627 And that is why you never go on a river cruise without your diaphragm. 98 00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:39,717 Why, look I'm-- 99 00:06:39,717 --> 00:06:43,015 I'm young and beautiful. 100 00:06:43,015 --> 00:06:45,061 Oh, uh, thank you. I-- 101 00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:47,775 So smooth and tight. 102 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,071 Uh, yeah. 103 00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:53,787 Well, thank you for your tips. I feel much better about it all. 104 00:06:53,787 --> 00:06:55,206 Wait. No. 105 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,378 I don't wanna go. 106 00:07:09,359 --> 00:07:12,281 ♪ Well, I'm feelin' kinda funny 'Cause life is like a game ♪ 107 00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:13,701 ♪ Facin' like an enemy ♪ 108 00:07:16,123 --> 00:07:18,586 ♪ That's just who I-- That's just who I am ♪ 109 00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,592 5,679. 110 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:24,472 "What if there is a snake in the toilet, and I don't notice, and I sit down, 111 00:07:24,472 --> 00:07:27,270 and the snake goes up my bum and then there's a snake up my bum?" 112 00:07:27,270 --> 00:07:28,982 Yep. 113 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,652 Honestly, I thought that would be higher. 114 00:07:34,869 --> 00:07:36,538 Is that number one? What is it? 115 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:40,254 Intimacy. You're afraid of intimacy. 116 00:07:40,964 --> 00:07:43,093 Okay, have we double-checked " Snake in the bum" 117 00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:45,640 - because that's not at all-- - I'm going to give you some homework. 118 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,059 Before you come in to see me next week, 119 00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:50,232 I want you to tell one person in your life you love them. 120 00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:54,617 I want you to say it without qualification, without minimising it, 121 00:07:54,617 --> 00:07:55,911 without turning it into a joke. 122 00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:58,123 It could bring us closer to your power. 123 00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,044 Can you do that for me? 124 00:08:01,463 --> 00:08:03,342 Course. Easy. 125 00:08:08,393 --> 00:08:09,980 Okay. 126 00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:12,945 Okay. Okay, just do it. 127 00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:14,573 Hey. Hey. 128 00:08:14,573 --> 00:08:16,702 I need to tell you something while maintaining eye contact, 129 00:08:16,702 --> 00:08:18,247 so don't even think about blinking. 130 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,587 I-- 131 00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:24,342 What are you doing? 132 00:08:24,342 --> 00:08:25,804 Oh, um. 133 00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:29,435 People get to be other things on Halloween, right? 134 00:08:29,435 --> 00:08:32,525 - Yes. - So, I'm gonna be a cat. 135 00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:35,865 Cats don't have responsibilities. Cats don't have to pay taxes, 136 00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:38,328 or raise children, or brush their teeth every week. 137 00:08:38,328 --> 00:08:39,247 I'm sorry, week? 138 00:08:39,832 --> 00:08:42,921 - See you in the morning. - Wait! Um, before you go, um-- 139 00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:49,893 Hey. So, I, uh, just wanted to let you know... 140 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:55,989 You know... ...I really, like, appreciate you and... 141 00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:03,003 Pfft! I fucking love ya, bro! 142 00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:06,636 Did you just say you love me? 143 00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:09,349 Maybe, I don't know. What are you, the love police? 144 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,186 Ever heard of ACAB, pig? 145 00:09:11,186 --> 00:09:13,691 Ha! That's what you sound like, mate. 146 00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,713 I'ma break it down for you 147 00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:04,333 Mom, I love you. 148 00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,379 Mother, I have come to love you. 149 00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:08,843 Mum, you gave me life. I love you. 150 00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:11,014 Okay. 151 00:10:12,391 --> 00:10:13,644 Please leave a message for... 152 00:10:13,644 --> 00:10:14,897 - You fucking bitch! - Hello. 153 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:16,441 You don't have anything better to be doing. 154 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,111 - This is Mary Regan. - I hope you get dementia! 155 00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:20,365 Mum! Mother. Mama. 156 00:10:20,365 --> 00:10:24,123 I was just calling to say I love you. Like children do. I love you so much. 157 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,545 I just want you to know that. Love, love, love! 158 00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:33,183 One in, one out, you animals! 159 00:10:38,736 --> 00:10:40,113 Move, losers. 160 00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:47,336 Okay. Sexy. 161 00:11:11,677 --> 00:11:13,598 Hello again, darling. 162 00:11:13,598 --> 00:11:15,100 I didn't invite you. 163 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,021 Aw, spoilsport. 164 00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,901 Can't a girl have a little fun? 165 00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:25,162 You gonna be long? 166 00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,959 Two minutes. 167 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,804 Is that a man I hear? 168 00:11:33,804 --> 00:11:35,432 Don't you dare. 169 00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:46,371 Why don't you come on in here and help me wipe, big boy? 170 00:11:46,371 --> 00:11:48,333 Uh, gee. 171 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,462 I feel like you can do that yourself. 172 00:11:50,462 --> 00:11:53,218 Dammit. I'm out of practice. 173 00:11:53,218 --> 00:11:54,470 Get out! 174 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:58,646 Never! I wanna suckle from the teat of life! 175 00:11:58,646 --> 00:12:01,694 I want this body, darling. 176 00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:04,490 And I always get what I want. 177 00:12:06,285 --> 00:12:08,039 Carrie? Are you okay? 178 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:11,714 Did you stick on a wax strip and get too scared to pull it off? 179 00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:13,968 I'm Dahlia. I'm Dahlia. 180 00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:19,061 I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. 181 00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,744 Carrie? 182 00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:36,179 Carrie? 183 00:12:48,161 --> 00:12:49,748 Hello, handsome. 184 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,629 ♪ Let's have a satanic orgy ♪ 185 00:13:15,716 --> 00:13:19,641 ♪ Deep in the forest In the dead of night ♪ 186 00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:22,856 ♪ The full moon is the only light ♪ 187 00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:26,487 ♪ 'Round a magic circle Our bodies start to sway ♪ 188 00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:30,621 ♪ All the pretty witches Have come out to play ♪ 189 00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:37,384 ♪ Take a ride on my broom ♪ 190 00:13:39,848 --> 00:13:44,858 ♪ We're naked under the moon ♪ 191 00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:51,370 ♪ Maybe I'll make love to you ♪ 192 00:14:05,482 --> 00:14:07,152 We're closed! 193 00:14:11,912 --> 00:14:14,626 If you want to steal something, just take it. I don't care. 194 00:14:29,196 --> 00:14:30,574 No, no! 195 00:14:31,492 --> 00:14:33,622 Please, just stay still. 196 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,129 Hey, what are you doing? 197 00:14:37,129 --> 00:14:38,339 No, no, no! Wait. Wait. 198 00:14:38,339 --> 00:14:40,845 That's not Carrie. 199 00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:42,055 Oh, God. 200 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,563 Two of you. That's more like it. 201 00:14:45,563 --> 00:14:48,317 The devil's triangle. What is it the French say? 202 00:14:48,317 --> 00:14:50,155 The fuck à trois? 203 00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:51,700 What? Then who is it? 204 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,748 - Some old actress. - Old, he says? Look at me. 205 00:14:54,748 --> 00:14:57,377 I'm young and lithe. 206 00:14:57,377 --> 00:14:59,256 Carrie, stop fucking around! Snap out of it! 207 00:14:59,256 --> 00:15:02,847 Carrie's gone, red. It's Dahlia from now on. 208 00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:04,475 Practice that with your tongue. 209 00:15:04,475 --> 00:15:07,607 Hey. Joan Crawford. Fuck off out of that body. It's not yours. 210 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,068 Make me. 211 00:15:10,571 --> 00:15:14,411 What should we do? 212 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,209 We're doing an exorcism. 213 00:15:22,385 --> 00:15:25,559 ♪ Got hair as black as night ♪ 214 00:15:26,728 --> 00:15:30,820 ♪ Got a skirt that's a-ooh so tight ♪ 215 00:15:31,905 --> 00:15:36,163 ♪ I'm tellin' you I've got an itch ♪ 216 00:15:39,002 --> 00:15:41,215 ♪ She's my witch ♪ 217 00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:44,346 Once you have them restrained, 218 00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:47,895 I like to go in and evoke Jesus Christ. 219 00:15:48,396 --> 00:15:49,607 They hate that. 220 00:15:49,607 --> 00:15:53,030 Step one, first one is my favourite step. 221 00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:54,742 - You're gonna shout... - Ugh, she keeps looking at me. 222 00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,955 - ..."The power of Christ"... - Well, then don't look. 223 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,959 I can't. She keeps... 224 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,213 ...doing that. 225 00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:02,717 Stop giving her attention. 226 00:16:02,717 --> 00:16:04,011 - It's what she wants. - Okay. 227 00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:06,850 I just love this position so much. This is my personal... 228 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,227 Have you two ever fucked? 229 00:16:08,979 --> 00:16:10,148 - Ew. No. - No! 230 00:16:10,148 --> 00:16:11,693 What do you mean, "ew"? I didn't say, "ew." 231 00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:13,947 I didn't mean "ew" like you disgust me. 232 00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:15,910 I did, but I didn't say that, 'cause it would be rude. 233 00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:17,663 It just came out! It was instinctual. 234 00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:20,251 Also, I just processed that. Wow, very mean. 235 00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,112 Ooh! 236 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:39,206 Stop it! She's getting in our heads. 237 00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,460 Okay, I'm bored of this. 238 00:16:42,462 --> 00:16:43,882 No. 239 00:16:43,882 --> 00:16:47,890 ♪ I like to wear my human skin outside In disguise ♪ 240 00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,184 How did you, um-- 241 00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:53,359 A veteran like me has wrists of steel, darling. 242 00:16:53,359 --> 00:16:56,198 You know, from all the handjobs. 243 00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:57,576 Ugh, yeah, we got it. 244 00:16:57,576 --> 00:16:59,998 ♪ Okay, cool It's a party with my ghouls ♪ 245 00:16:59,998 --> 00:17:02,127 No. No. 246 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,988 Hello. 247 00:17:17,575 --> 00:17:19,369 Where'd she go? 248 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:24,463 Come on. We need to find her. 249 00:17:25,423 --> 00:17:27,302 Mm-hmm. 250 00:17:27,302 --> 00:17:29,056 Are you serious? It's Carrie. 251 00:17:29,056 --> 00:17:30,851 She's built like a strand of dry spaghetti. 252 00:17:30,851 --> 00:17:33,147 No, it's not Carrie I'm scared of. 253 00:17:33,857 --> 00:17:36,111 Dahlia was a psycho. 254 00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:37,615 She had six husbands, 255 00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:40,495 and five of them died falling down the stairs. 256 00:17:40,495 --> 00:17:42,833 - Well, you know that's-- - And the sixth one shot himself 257 00:17:43,459 --> 00:17:45,881 in the back with a crossbow. 258 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,130 I need your help here. 259 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:08,092 Carrie needs your help. 260 00:18:09,428 --> 00:18:11,223 Or... 261 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,479 ...maybe Carrie can just share with this lady. 262 00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:18,697 Okay, we get Carrie Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and she can take the rest. 263 00:18:19,741 --> 00:18:21,034 Absolute coward. 264 00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:22,872 Fine. 265 00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:25,376 Stay here then. All by yourself. 266 00:18:39,279 --> 00:18:44,122 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪ 267 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:26,791 You really shouldn't leave sharp objects lying around. 268 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,587 Terribly unsafe. 269 00:19:28,587 --> 00:19:30,298 Just get back! 270 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,696 Shame. I prefer them circumcised. 271 00:19:41,696 --> 00:19:43,867 Stop making her gross. She wouldn't like it. 272 00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:47,332 What about what I like, hmm? I like this body. 273 00:19:47,332 --> 00:19:49,629 I like being alive. 274 00:19:49,629 --> 00:19:53,762 So, we can't have you spilling the beans on me, can we? 275 00:19:53,762 --> 00:19:55,139 No. 276 00:19:57,143 --> 00:19:59,314 Huh? 277 00:20:04,742 --> 00:20:07,246 Look at you, Braveheart! 278 00:20:07,246 --> 00:20:09,167 Are you crying? 279 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,378 No. 280 00:20:10,378 --> 00:20:13,342 ♪ I took my baby to a horror show ♪ 281 00:20:15,137 --> 00:20:16,891 ♪ That's the only place she wants to go ♪ 282 00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:21,358 ♪ She thinks that Dracula is so divine ♪ 283 00:20:21,358 --> 00:20:25,074 ♪ And she wants to go steady With the Frankenstein ♪ 284 00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:51,501 He's in! Third one today. 285 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,590 Think of all the unwanted kittens we're preventing. 286 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,596 Hello, little man! 287 00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:20,644 You can plead for your testicles all you want. 288 00:21:20,644 --> 00:21:21,979 I can't hear you. 289 00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:24,944 You won't feel a thing. 290 00:21:25,654 --> 00:21:27,783 And you're really better off not being a father. 291 00:21:27,783 --> 00:21:29,369 Too much responsibility. 292 00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:31,916 I dropped my nephew on his head the other day, 293 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:34,420 no one saw, and I just didn't tell anybody. 294 00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:35,966 Not my problem. 295 00:21:35,966 --> 00:21:37,051 Right. 296 00:21:39,389 --> 00:21:41,184 Reginald's escaped from his cage again. 297 00:21:41,184 --> 00:21:43,021 How does he keep doing that? 298 00:21:47,656 --> 00:21:49,367 Reginald? 299 00:21:50,912 --> 00:21:52,415 Reginald? 300 00:21:55,672 --> 00:21:59,345 You can't walk back to Nicaragua, Reggie. We've been through this. 301 00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:11,328 Ow! Shit it anyway! 302 00:22:11,328 --> 00:22:13,750 Oh. 303 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:18,551 Well, that's still okay because that dosage is only enough for a ca... 304 00:22:28,863 --> 00:22:31,661 Libertade. 305 00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:33,372 Libertade! 306 00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:38,131 Not so scary now, are you? 307 00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:42,557 Ha! Oh, I bet you'd love to stab me, wouldn't you? 308 00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:47,859 Go on, then. Too scared? Come on. 309 00:22:47,859 --> 00:22:48,987 Oh, Jesus! 310 00:22:49,905 --> 00:22:51,617 - Kash! Stop it. - Sorry. 311 00:22:51,617 --> 00:22:53,705 God, I've no idea how to do an exorcism. 312 00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:06,939 - Mum? - Jen! Are you okay? 313 00:23:06,939 --> 00:23:10,362 - Wha-- - Whatever it is, you can tell me. 314 00:23:10,362 --> 00:23:14,203 Cancer? AIDS? That thing that makes your bones go soft? 315 00:23:14,203 --> 00:23:17,586 Oh, God! You're not thinking of ending it all, are you? 316 00:23:17,586 --> 00:23:21,886 Life is worth living, Jen! Even for you! 317 00:23:21,886 --> 00:23:23,221 What are you talking about? 318 00:23:23,221 --> 00:23:25,977 That was a very worrying voicemail you left. 319 00:23:25,977 --> 00:23:27,856 Using the L word like that. 320 00:23:27,856 --> 00:23:29,902 - So, you thought I was dying? - Well, aren't you? 321 00:23:29,902 --> 00:23:34,077 No, I'm not dying! I was just-- I was trying to be nice. 322 00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:40,255 Well, don't ever do that again! I had to take three buses to get here. 323 00:23:40,255 --> 00:23:43,011 I didn't even have a chance to get out of my costume. 324 00:23:45,307 --> 00:23:46,727 Oh, Jesus, Mum. 325 00:23:46,727 --> 00:23:48,438 Looking good, Mary. 326 00:23:49,357 --> 00:23:52,029 - Whore! - Uh, yeah, she's possessed. 327 00:23:52,029 --> 00:23:53,741 We've kind of run out of ideas. 328 00:23:53,741 --> 00:23:55,160 - Don-- - So-- 329 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,872 Possessed? 330 00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:00,337 I've seen this before. 331 00:24:00,337 --> 00:24:02,299 A man in my village when I was small. 332 00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,678 How did you drive it out? 333 00:24:03,678 --> 00:24:05,557 Well, we beat him with sticks. 334 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,313 And it turned out he-he wasn't possessed in the end. 335 00:24:09,857 --> 00:24:11,526 He was just Portuguese. Lovely man. 336 00:24:11,526 --> 00:24:14,073 But I did learn a lot from the priest that day. 337 00:24:16,745 --> 00:24:20,712 You have to meet evil with evil. 338 00:24:22,256 --> 00:24:24,845 You are not welcome here. 339 00:24:24,845 --> 00:24:28,603 And we will drive you out of this innocent lamb, 340 00:24:28,603 --> 00:24:33,069 you harridan of Satan's own hole! 341 00:24:34,865 --> 00:24:37,704 Be gone! I command-- 342 00:24:37,704 --> 00:24:39,248 What's her name? 343 00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:42,171 Uh-- I don't remember. 344 00:24:42,171 --> 00:24:43,506 I don't think anyone does anymore. 345 00:24:43,506 --> 00:24:45,427 - Mmm. - Delia? 346 00:24:45,427 --> 00:24:46,555 - Delilah? - Delilah? 347 00:24:46,555 --> 00:24:47,641 Dahlia! 348 00:24:48,183 --> 00:24:49,603 It's not difficult. 349 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,708 Come on, Tito! 350 00:25:01,669 --> 00:25:03,881 Tito, no! 351 00:25:03,881 --> 00:25:06,052 Leave the cat alone! Tito! 352 00:25:10,477 --> 00:25:13,818 ♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪ 353 00:25:15,989 --> 00:25:18,326 ♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein ♪ 354 00:25:18,326 --> 00:25:23,838 ♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪ 355 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,193 People still know my name. 356 00:25:35,193 --> 00:25:38,116 - I'm still a star. - Can you guys name a single film 357 00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:39,368 - she's been in? - No. 358 00:25:39,368 --> 00:25:40,622 Not one. Not a clue. 359 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:43,418 Oh, come on. In the Port Rightly? 360 00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:44,588 - Mm-mmm. - No. 361 00:25:44,588 --> 00:25:46,049 The Angel of Cleveland? 362 00:25:46,049 --> 00:25:47,594 - Of where? - Never heard of it. 363 00:25:47,594 --> 00:25:50,098 - The Gun Goes Bang? - Never heard of them. 364 00:25:50,098 --> 00:25:52,019 Of course it goes bang. What else would it do? 365 00:25:52,019 --> 00:25:53,313 Now, Vivien Leigh. 366 00:25:53,313 --> 00:25:54,523 Oh. 367 00:25:54,523 --> 00:25:56,277 - Incredible. Mmm. Yep. - Timeless. 368 00:25:56,277 --> 00:25:57,572 Talentless prude. 369 00:25:57,572 --> 00:25:59,408 - Grace Kelly. - Love her. Oh. 370 00:25:59,408 --> 00:26:00,787 - Lauren Bacall. - Oh! 371 00:26:00,787 --> 00:26:02,206 Elizabeth Taylor. 372 00:26:02,206 --> 00:26:04,210 - We remember them. - You think you're being clever? 373 00:26:04,210 --> 00:26:06,882 I know what you're doing. And it's not gonna work. 374 00:26:06,882 --> 00:26:11,349 See, I have to stay to rebuild my legacy. 375 00:26:12,101 --> 00:26:13,771 You will never make it as an actress. 376 00:26:13,771 --> 00:26:16,067 And Carrie's already too old to play ingénues. 377 00:26:16,067 --> 00:26:17,570 - No! No! - Uh-huh, uh-huh. 378 00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:19,783 You've got two more years of playing 25. And after that, 379 00:26:19,783 --> 00:26:21,745 - you might as well be dead again! - No, no, no, no-- 380 00:26:21,745 --> 00:26:23,373 Don't listen to them! Don't listen to them! 381 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,544 She's already got crow's feet! 382 00:26:25,544 --> 00:26:27,841 - Look! - No! No! No, don't! 383 00:26:27,841 --> 00:26:29,385 It isn't true! 384 00:26:29,385 --> 00:26:32,099 Look, goddamn you! Look! 385 00:26:39,530 --> 00:26:41,577 I think I've bitten her tongue. 386 00:26:41,577 --> 00:26:44,165 Get out of my friend, you bitch! 387 00:26:44,165 --> 00:26:45,417 Whoops. 388 00:26:49,759 --> 00:26:52,222 We have been too soft with her. 389 00:26:53,141 --> 00:26:55,145 Kash, get the sticks. 390 00:26:55,145 --> 00:26:57,942 Prepare for war, you she-devil! 391 00:26:57,942 --> 00:26:59,988 I'll never leave! 392 00:26:59,988 --> 00:27:01,700 - Waterboard her! - Carrie. 393 00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:03,746 No, stop, stop, stop! 394 00:27:03,746 --> 00:27:05,332 What are you doing? 395 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:07,587 I think we've been talking to the wrong person. 396 00:27:07,587 --> 00:27:10,968 Hey, bud. I know you're in there, and I know you're stronger than her. 397 00:27:10,968 --> 00:27:12,095 Be quiet! 398 00:27:12,095 --> 00:27:13,641 Because you're Carrie Jackson. 399 00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:15,895 Y-You think ordering negronis makes you seem grown-up. 400 00:27:15,895 --> 00:27:18,066 You've never been able to cook aubergines right. 401 00:27:18,943 --> 00:27:22,074 You finish books you don't even like because you think they'll feel bad. 402 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:23,786 You're a total fucking nerd! 403 00:27:23,786 --> 00:27:26,667 You're my best friend. I love you. 404 00:28:01,152 --> 00:28:03,031 I'm sorry for causing a fuss. 405 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,997 Hey. 406 00:28:06,997 --> 00:28:09,753 - Are you okay? - Yeah. She's gone. 407 00:28:11,172 --> 00:28:13,426 Well, my work here is done. 408 00:28:14,219 --> 00:28:15,347 You didn't do anything. 409 00:28:15,347 --> 00:28:16,767 You're welcome. 410 00:28:20,523 --> 00:28:21,985 Are you okay? 411 00:28:23,237 --> 00:28:24,531 I'm so glad you're back. 412 00:28:24,531 --> 00:28:26,327 Yeah. Me too. 413 00:28:26,327 --> 00:28:28,916 Did you say I had crow's feet? 414 00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:32,089 You're confused. 415 00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:33,842 Oh. 416 00:28:36,180 --> 00:28:38,769 ♪ Hold on, you don't want no problems I'm a monster ♪ 417 00:28:39,269 --> 00:28:41,608 ♪ Oh, you scared I make you shake, I make you shudder ♪ 418 00:29:02,567 --> 00:29:04,111 We brought you a dressing gown. 419 00:29:04,111 --> 00:29:05,656 I-I don't want to be a cat! 420 00:29:08,579 --> 00:29:10,165 Is it too late to be a slut? 31037

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