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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,637
Dads is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,673
No.
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,874
What?
4
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:07,908
Tights aren't pants.
5
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,543
This is a workplace.
6
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,213
No, these are pants.
7
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:15,349
Were they in the underwear
section or the pants section?
8
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:16,550
It's a Korean clothing store.
9
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,419
Everything's in one bin.
Oh.
10
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,054
I'll tell you what--
bring all your clothes
11
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,522
over to my house tonight.
12
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,391
You can try everything on,
and I'll tell you
13
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,159
what's underwear and what isn't.
Mmm.
14
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:28,129
Perfect. Then we can go buy
clothes for you at Build-A-Bear.
15
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,600
Freedom!
16
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,503
Braveheart.
George Michael.
17
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,705
I prefer George Michael,
but this time it's neither.
18
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,441
It's freedom from my dad.
19
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,011
Oh, my gosh, is this...?
20
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,346
Yes, it is.
Do-do you mean...?
21
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,415
I do.
And-and he...?
22
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,450
Uh-huh!
23
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,285
Will somebody just say
a complete sentence?
24
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,286
Tights aren't pants.
25
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,588
(groans)
26
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,023
You look very happy right now.
27
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,191
I am happy, Eli.
(laughs)
28
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,392
I'm very happy. You know why?
29
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,027
'Cause my dad's finally getting
30
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,296
his ankle monitor bracelet
off tonight.
31
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,699
Which means tomorrow, he gone.
32
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,101
VERONICA:
Wait.
33
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,469
Your dad has
an ankle monitor bracelet?
34
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,437
Yeah, yeah.
35
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:10,638
Well, a few years ago,
36
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,805
he got tricked
into taking a job.
37
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,374
And then...
then he took the fall
38
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,209
for all the illegal stuff
they'd been doing.
39
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,044
How did they trick him
into taking the job?
40
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,814
They said, "Crawford,
would you like a job?"
41
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:21,815
Yeah.
42
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:22,950
So he's finally free
43
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,418
to live wherever he wants.
44
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,587
And Camila and I can go back
to having sex
45
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,888
anywhere in the house.
46
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,390
But what about
your kids?
47
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,724
Oh, no, they're cool.
48
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,426
They-they don't care
about that stuff.
49
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,795
Well, wait, I mean,
where's your dad gonna go?
50
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,464
I don't know.
You know, I figure
51
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,299
I put one of those
umbrella hats on him
52
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,468
and just drop him off
at a national park.
53
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,602
Hey, you guys
should come
54
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,237
to the ankle monitor bracelet
55
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,272
removal ceremony tonight.
56
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,606
ELI:
Oh!
57
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,341
I'm in. Just being
around a leaving dad
58
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,243
gives me hope
for the future.
Right?
59
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:50,678
Uh, I can't.
60
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,745
I have a date.
61
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:52,913
Oh, yeah? Is he Asian?
62
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,183
No.
Racist.
63
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,854
* Daddy took me to the zoo
64
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,823
* Na, na, na, na *
65
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:06,927
* Just to see
something brand-new *
66
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,996
* Na, na, na *
67
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:13,167
* So many stars up in the sky
68
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:17,638
* So many questions have I
69
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,707
* Na, na, na, na *
70
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,510
* Daddy took me for a ride.
71
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,781
Edna, what are you doing?
72
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,883
I clean these cobwebs off TV.
73
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:33,487
That's Spider-Man.
74
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,957
Hey, guys.
75
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,560
Oh, my God, Dad,
have you moved at all today?
76
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,728
No.
77
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,463
But neither did Stephen Hawking.
78
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,132
You gonna go bug him?
79
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,534
All right, guys,
I'm heading out.
80
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:47,968
Where you going?
81
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,637
I'm going to Warner's.
82
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:53,073
They are having a party
because Crawford is leaving.
83
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,576
Can you say "leaving"?
84
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,378
Leaving?
85
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,746
Come on, Daddy, you can do it.
86
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,147
Leaving.
87
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,216
Oh, that's
a good daddy!
88
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:05,419
I can't believe we're finally
getting our house back.
89
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:08,489
I know. I can't believe
this is really happening.
90
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,324
I feel like we're watching
an animal be released
91
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,426
back into the wild.
92
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,066
That's it?
93
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,968
That's it.
You're free to go.
94
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,707
Go on, boy.
95
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,142
Go on. You can do it.
96
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,113
(gasps)
97
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,715
(Crawford chuckles)
98
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,889
He probably smells my dad on me.
99
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,992
He'll be good to go
in a day or two.
100
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,262
So... so that's it?
101
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,697
Done?
Yeah.
102
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,432
Oh, uh, unless you'd
like to discuss
103
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:55,002
some exciting new developments
in the federal tax law.
104
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,272
No?
105
00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,640
Okay.
106
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,814
Well, that's that.
107
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:10,250
Now to begin
the long, arduous task
108
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,753
of finding a new place to live.
109
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,388
Strap yourselves in, guys.
110
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,924
This could take weeks,
months, maybe even...
111
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,826
Found it!
112
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,761
What?
113
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,162
Wow, look at that.
114
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,097
It's a senior condo facility.
115
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,067
With golf and-and tennis and...
116
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,402
Aw!
117
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,070
Look, they have
one of those cats
118
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,407
that climbs up on your lap
when you're about to die.
119
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,076
What, you-you think
I should live here?
120
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,845
Yeah, it'll be great.
121
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,914
Well, don't you think we should
look at some other places or...?
122
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,684
Shh. Hey. Hey.
123
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,253
Crawford, you're free.
124
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,689
(laughs):
I'm free.
125
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,592
We're all free.
126
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,362
Warner! Warner,
she's hurting me!
127
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,963
Okay, stop.
128
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,031
Okay, Eli, get a Xanax
and a People magazine.
129
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,867
Honey, stop it.
No, no, not the one
130
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,502
with Tori Spelling on the cover.
131
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:05,138
They all have
Tori Spelling on the cover!
132
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,007
(banging pan)
133
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,810
(groans)
134
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,345
Edna!
135
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,847
Could you please be quiet?
136
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,983
I really need to rest.
137
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,985
Okay, I be quiet!
138
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,154
(music sung in Spanish playing)
139
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,858
Edna, please!
140
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,360
What? That no Edna.
141
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,196
That radio!
142
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,333
I'm gonna go up to my room.
143
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,636
I'm too weak to give a specific.
144
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:39,840
But consider Mexican music
insulted generally!
145
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,911
(turns up volume)
146
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,661
This is best part!
147
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,063
(whoops)
148
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,733
¡Arriba! !Arriba! ¡Arriba!
149
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,872
Dad! Dad!
150
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,007
Edna, what happened?
151
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,876
He died.
152
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,511
What?
153
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:19,046
Oh, so sorry.
154
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,881
¿Cómo se dice?
155
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:23,316
He almost died.
156
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,887
Oh, my God! Doc! Doc!
157
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,622
Is he gonna be all right?
Wow.
158
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:31,224
You sounded
like Marty McFly just then.
159
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,527
Now, uh,
160
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:36,296
your dad has had
what we doctors call
161
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,198
an adult-sized bangeroo
162
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,468
of a heart attack.
163
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,135
A heart attack?
164
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,438
Oh, my God.
Dad, please wake up.
165
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,739
I'm so sorry we
were fighting.
166
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,240
We-we were
arguing earlier.
167
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,042
Do you think that had
anything to do with it?
168
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,043
Well, yeah.
169
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,512
Duh.
170
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,718
Boy, I really can't believe
what happened to David, hmm?
171
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,086
You mean the heart attack?
172
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,220
No.
173
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,456
How fat he got.
174
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:05,292
Yeah, you could really see it
in that hospital gown.
175
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,727
It is such a shame.
176
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,729
Yeah.
177
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,997
Well, it looks like
you're almost packed.
178
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,799
Are-are you
excited to finally
179
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,001
get your own place and be
the captain of your own ship?
180
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,836
I guess.
181
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,271
(laughing):
Oh, come on.
182
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,474
Oh, come on, this is
gonna be good for you.
183
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,909
Look what happened
to David.
184
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,511
You know,
he's cooped up with Eli,
185
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,745
and it-it's not healthy.
186
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,480
Don't you want
to make new friends?
187
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,650
You're my friend.
188
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:34,321
I... of cour...
of course I'm your friend.
189
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,356
Yeah.
But I'm also your son.
190
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,592
And-and, you know,
and that's...
191
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,960
makes that impossible.
192
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,695
Oh, come...
193
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,430
You're gonna love this place.
194
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,132
That's funny.
195
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,301
I said exactly
the same thing to you
196
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,604
right before I accidentally
shipped you off
197
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,272
to that special-needs camp.
198
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,707
Oh.
199
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,009
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
200
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,811
Yeah, I remember that.
Boy, you brought back
201
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,580
so many trophies.
Yeah.
202
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,018
Come on, Dad.
203
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,019
Come back.
204
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,688
(door opens)
205
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:10,991
How's he doing?
206
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,027
What?
207
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,829
Shouldn't you be telling me?
208
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,297
Okay, fine.
209
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,201
I guess I will just do
everything around here.
210
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,370
Where did you go
to medical school?
211
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:26,506
Um, a little school
called Putnam Valley.
212
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,809
Heard of it?
213
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,545
No.
214
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,747
Everyone says that.
215
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,218
You've got a really
terrible bedside manner.
216
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:42,222
And you are a tiny dad killer.
217
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,662
(door closes)
218
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,931
Oh, my God, Edna, what
if he doesn't make it?
219
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,733
The last
conversation we had
220
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,401
was him asking
me for help
221
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:56,436
and me yelling at him.
222
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,739
What the hell is wrong with me?
223
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:03,410
I should've been a better son.
224
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:06,246
I mean, I know he wasn't
always the greatest dad.
225
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,515
And yes, he is
a completely
226
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,085
self-obsessed
egomaniacal baby.
227
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,854
That's why he's lived 65 years
228
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,322
and doesn't have
a single friend.
229
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:21,094
But this heart attack
was my fault.
230
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:24,998
He extended his heart to me,
and I literally broke it.
231
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:30,237
I just want to tell him
how sorry I am.
232
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,205
Tell him that...
233
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,141
I love him.
234
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,542
Even if it means I get
235
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,144
one of his disgusting
kisses on the lips
236
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,579
followed by the coffee
and anchovy cross breeze.
237
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:45,085
It's whitefish,
and I love you, too.
238
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,220
Dad! Oh, my God,
you're awake!
239
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,789
Edna, he's awake!
240
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,290
Edna!
241
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,995
Oh. Hey.
242
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:03,470
Finally some peace and
quiet without your dad.
243
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,306
Do you know how refreshing it is
to open the refrigerator
244
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,509
and not have bite marks
in the cheese?
245
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,411
(laughs)
246
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:15,515
I know, it's so great having
the place to ourselves, right?
247
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:16,516
Yeah.
248
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,018
Did you talk to him today?
249
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,653
Are you kidding me? No.
250
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,588
I did... No, of course not, no.
251
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,956
You know, I mean, I, you know,
252
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:26,159
I tried to call him
a few times, and...
253
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,129
sent him a few e-mails
or whatever.
254
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,000
A few texts.
255
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,768
But other than that,
no, I didn't...
256
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,737
I didn't think about him at all.
257
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,673
So, what do you want
to do tonight?
258
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,176
I'm actually
feeling kind of gassy.
259
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,680
I think I just gonna
go upstairs and try.
260
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,316
Wish me luck.
261
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,984
Okay. Yeah, good luck.
262
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,820
Oh, hey, be careful, you know.
263
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,824
Last time, you... you popped
a blood vessel in your eye.
264
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,860
Don't tell me how to poop!
265
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,799
David, it's so wonderful
that you're awake.
266
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,368
Don't say "wonderful"
to another guy.
267
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,304
Hey, hey, David!
268
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,505
Crawford?
269
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,907
Oh.
270
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,375
There.
271
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,077
What is that for?
272
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,780
I bet him 20 bucks I'd have
a heart attack before he did.
273
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,016
Hi.
Hey.
274
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,351
Remember me?
275
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,854
Yeah, I left you a few messages.
276
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:27,921
Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.
277
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,556
You know, from the time I get up
278
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,860
at 11:00 a.m. until 5:30
when we all go to bed,
279
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:37,030
it is just activity,
activity, activity, activity.
280
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,331
You know?
281
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,367
I see you got
a-a cool headband tan.
282
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,669
Yeah, I thought I'd, uh,
get back into playing tennis,
283
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,204
and I'd start with the headband.
284
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,739
Ah!
285
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,240
Okay.
286
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,776
Here you go, Crawf.
Oh, hey, T.
287
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:49,943
Hey.
Ah, thank you.
288
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,411
Uh, gang, this is Todd.
289
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,545
Hey, guys.
290
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,546
Hi.
291
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,882
You-you work, uh...
292
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,283
you work at the condo?
293
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,551
Yeah, Todd has been
like a son to me.
294
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,120
In fact, Warner,
295
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,189
I want to thank you
for kicking me out.
296
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,458
I've really gotten
to love this new community
297
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,928
and-and my new friend Todd.
298
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,363
I think I can finally
make a life there.
299
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,566
Well, I-I'm glad
we're all happy.
300
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,567
You bet.
301
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:15,635
Yeah.
302
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:16,937
Crawford, we should go.
Oh!
303
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,806
Yeah, right,
we left our golf cart
304
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,108
in the ambulance space.
305
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,777
Oh, my God, David, you're okay!
306
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,913
I'm so sorry. I got here
as soon as I could.
307
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,981
As soon as you could?
He's been here three days.
308
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,449
(Veronica sighs)
309
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,318
Sorry. I was away
for the weekend in Big Sur.
310
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,320
What were you doing there?
My dad almost died.
311
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,422
Well, actually...
312
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,057
I got engaged.
313
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,091
(quiet laugh)
314
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,293
(squealing):
Oh, my...
315
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,506
Engaged?
But what about us?
316
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,808
Us?
317
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,176
There's no us.
318
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,677
Hey...
(stammers)
319
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:58,846
I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
320
00:12:58,879 --> 00:12:59,847
(whistles)
321
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,149
Yeah, okay.
322
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,651
(door opens and closes)
323
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,821
Pretend I'm not here.
324
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:10,123
Engaged?
(chuckles)
325
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,424
I didn't...
326
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,625
How-how long
have you had a boyfriend?
327
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,861
Six months.
328
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,863
Six months? Wow.
329
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,197
Why didn't you tell me?
330
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,932
Why would I?
331
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,201
Ooh.
332
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,304
Be-Because...
333
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,874
well, well,
because we're friends, right?
334
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,676
Um, so, what's his name?
335
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,611
Uh, his name is Colt.
336
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,780
Is he a horse?
337
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,416
In a way.
338
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,319
Look, I know we haven't been
339
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:42,789
seeing each other long,
but when you know, you know.
340
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,024
(both laugh)
341
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:46,226
That's great. That's great.
342
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,530
Do you have a problem with this?
No.
343
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,798
I'm just surprised.
344
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,066
I'm just so surprised.
That's all.
345
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,334
Of course,
I'm-I'm happy for you.
346
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,003
Thanks.
Congratulations.
347
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,070
Thank you.
(both laugh)
348
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,539
DAVID:
Just a hug?
349
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:00,874
What a wuss.
350
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,678
(droning beep, man groaning)
351
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,248
Wrong guy.
352
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,987
So, Veronica
and Colt, huh?
353
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,222
(groans) Colt.
354
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,424
What a terrible name!
355
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,228
So, your dad and Todd, huh?
356
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,865
Todd!
357
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,038
You know, I-I Googled his name,
358
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,773
and all this creepy stuff
came up.
359
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,443
Probably 'cause I didn't have
his last name, but...
360
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,611
Hey, guys.
361
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,180
Uh, this is my boyfriend.
362
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,881
Uh, my fiancé.
363
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,383
Weird!
Weird!
364
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,618
Uh, my fiancé Colt.
365
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,120
Uh, Colt, this is
Warner and Eli.
366
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,255
Hey.
Hey.
367
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,689
Wow.
368
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,192
Uh, I cannot believe
I'm meeting Eli Sachs.
369
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,726
My head is just like...
370
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,062
(imitates an explosion)
371
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,530
Uh, it's such an honor.
372
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,565
What? Really?
373
00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,967
You're a legend.
374
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,469
I read about you
in Gamer Weekly back in '08.
375
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,305
Oh, yeah?
You came across
so smart and funny.
376
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,107
(laughs)
Well, thanks.
377
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,709
That joke you made about, uh,
h-having a business partner
378
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,911
is like swimming the
English Channel with a dead guy
379
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:12,980
strapped to you neck?
380
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,614
(all three laughing)
381
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,549
Dude, that was epic.
382
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,251
Dead guy, yeah...
383
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,153
Wait, what?
384
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,055
I can't tell you--
385
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:25,592
I'm so jealous Veronica
gets to work here with you.
386
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,660
Yeah, she's very lucky.
387
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,229
Oh, hey, um,
388
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,398
I heard you're a fan
of vintage pinball machines?
389
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,665
A big fan.
390
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,267
You should come over.
I got a vintage
391
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,736
Elton John Captain Fantastic
machine in the garage.
392
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,438
Whoa!
Yeah, it is so old,
393
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,107
he's actually
ogling women in it.
394
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,409
(laughs)
Wow, that's so cool.
395
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,743
Thanks.
Uh, you...
396
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,245
Colt and I should
really get going.
397
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,647
Oh, I just got here!
Oh, he just got here!
398
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,817
I know, but we have
so much wedding stuff to do.
399
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,319
We have to find
a venue, register.
400
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,421
Register?
What is he-- a sex offender?
401
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,489
(both laugh)
Nice one!
402
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,657
(laughs)
403
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,825
All right, come on.
Let's go.
404
00:15:58,858 --> 00:15:59,859
All right, well, we'll talk!
405
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:00,860
Yeah, yeah, no, okay.
406
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:01,928
And ball out!
407
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,163
Right on, man, we'll play...
408
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,631
we'll play some pinball!
All right.
409
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,865
(laughs)
410
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:08,868
I hate him.
411
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,441
(thunder rumbling)
412
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,442
Hey.
413
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,476
Hey, hey, hey.
414
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,610
Are you all right, sweetie?
415
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,446
Yeah. Why?
416
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,714
You cried during sex
at a different time
417
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,550
than you usually do.
418
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,422
I was just... I was just
thinking about my dad.
419
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,794
Okay, um, that's
disturbing.
420
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,363
No.
421
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,864
No, I was just...
I was just
422
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,467
thinking about him
not being here.
423
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,968
But...
424
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,236
I thought that's
what we wanted, right?
425
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,237
Yeah.
426
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,572
Uh, of course,
but, you know,
427
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,307
now that he's gone,
I'm just... I just...
428
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:50,477
I'm just... I started
to realize that, uh...
429
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,745
What?
430
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,814
You know, I just... I just...
431
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,650
miss having him around,
I guess, uh...
432
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,587
I mean, you know,
I know... I know he can be
433
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,089
a pain in the bum, and...
434
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,457
pardon my language,
but-but, uh...
435
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,429
But, you know,
I-I love my dad, you know?
436
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,398
And I-I just...
I just don't want him
437
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:14,134
living in a...
in a retirement condo.
438
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:19,038
With Todd.
439
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,775
So...?
440
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,777
What are you saying?
441
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,348
Uh... (stammers)
442
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,550
I want... I want my dad back.
443
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,455
Well, if you really
want him back,
444
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,858
then I guess we'll
make it work.
445
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,594
Really?
446
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,263
Yes, really.
447
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:46,065
Babe, if it makes you happy,
then, of course, I'm on board
448
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,234
100%.
It makes me happy.
449
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,569
I love you.
I love you.
450
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,970
Now, go, go!
451
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,872
Okay, okay.
452
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,275
You're-you're gonna want
something for this, aren't you?
453
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,445
Yes.
454
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,448
A Kobe-Bryant-forget-about-
those-rape-charges diamond.
455
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,922
Hey, Dad, how you feeling?
456
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,625
Jewish.
457
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:13,793
What are you doing there?
458
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,962
I'm writing
an alphabetical list
459
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:20,667
of all the people I should
apologize to before I die.
460
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,068
Did you put the cast
461
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,837
of Menopause The
Musical on there?
462
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,607
Kidding? They owe me an apology.
463
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,908
(laughs)
464
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,311
Well, I'm glad you're
feeling better.
465
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,480
Eli?
466
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:38,251
Listen to me.
467
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,820
I realized why I get
468
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,989
angry at everybody.
469
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:46,593
(crying): It's because I lived
a life of regret.
470
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:50,463
I don't want you to make
the same mistake as me.
471
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,132
I haven't.
472
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,534
You sure?
473
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,269
Why don't you tell her?
474
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,670
Tell who?
475
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,639
You know, Veronica.
476
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,040
Veronica?
477
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,275
Yeah.
478
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,345
The Oriental.
479
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,514
You want to... you're
gonna want to go ahead
480
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:10,317
and put her name down
on that list, too.
481
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,521
She's engaged, Dad.
482
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,689
What am I supposed to do?
483
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,359
If I knew that...
484
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,828
(chokes up)
485
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,564
I wouldn't need this list.
486
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,000
You'll figure it out.
487
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,969
You're smart.
488
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,906
You're smarter
than I ever was.
489
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,177
Thanks, Dad.
490
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,413
Mm-wah!
(groans)
491
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,017
Now, go.
492
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,220
You go get her, Mr. Eli!
493
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,522
Yeah? You sure she's the one?
494
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,057
She Chinese with boobs.
495
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,593
Yeah, she the one!
496
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,799
(thunder rumbling)
497
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,774
Veronica!
Dad!
498
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,976
Indian food!
499
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,614
(laughs)
500
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,549
Dad!
501
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,950
(banging on door)
Dad!
502
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,152
Dad!
503
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,623
Warner?!
504
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,725
What the hell
are you doing here?
505
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,794
I came to bring you home, Dad.
506
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,029
Warner, this is my home now.
507
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,366
Dad, I'm-I'm not gonna
let you cripple me
508
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,034
emotionally and financially,
509
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,304
and then just walk away.
510
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,305
Excuse me, visiting hours...
511
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,773
Oh, stuff it, Todd!
512
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,142
Come on, Dad,
let's go home.
513
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,110
(chuckles)
514
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:45,478
That's my son.
515
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,546
All right!
516
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,747
WARNER:
Thank you.
517
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,916
MAN:
Way to go, Crawford!
518
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,319
Way to go!
519
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,487
Oh, no.
520
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:05,164
(indistinct chatter)
521
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,283
(thunder rumbling)
522
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:28,521
Captioned by
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