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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,571
Dads is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:07,708
(slurring): Wow! That same
guy just dunked it again.
3
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:11,145
That's an
instant replay, Dad.
4
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,381
Still.
5
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,216
(laughs):
Okay, okay.
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,250
Cheers.
Good night, Dad.
7
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,219
Yeah, good night.
8
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,853
What? Oh, come on.
9
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,156
Let's kill this bottle.
You know,
10
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,991
when we bought
this bottle today,
didn't we agree
11
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,860
that it was gonna be
a two-month supply?
Uh-huh.
12
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,599
Whoa! Those two
months flew by, huh?
13
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,033
Whoa!
14
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,103
WARNER (chuckles):
Okay.
Well...
15
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:38,272
I guess I'll go to bed.
Yeah.
16
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,574
Right? Whoa.
(chuckles)
17
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,446
Ship it in the sand dome.
18
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,616
And...
19
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,619
and ish... banny banny...
20
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,288
gunda to form it.
21
00:00:56,490 --> 00:01:00,060
How does your dad not Janis
Joplin choke-puke himself
22
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,263
to death every night?
23
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,969
Bazza Ronin, Dad.
24
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,276
* Daddy took me to the zoo.
25
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,781
(screaming)
26
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,950
What happened?! Oy!
27
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,454
Was the raccoon masturbating
at the window again?
28
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,955
No. Your dad
29
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,325
peed on our couch!
30
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,262
What?
31
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,330
He must have gotten up in
the middle of the night,
32
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:38,999
still drunk, and thought
this was the toilet.
33
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,301
(quietly):
God.
34
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,636
Ew!
35
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,972
Hey, Bloody
Mary, anyone?
36
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,007
No. No more drinking.
37
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,442
No more drinking in this house.
38
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,078
Oh, come on, Camila! Please!
Nope. Nope.
39
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,513
If you want
to continue to drink,
40
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,315
you will not be living
in our home.
41
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,649
Okay, got it.
42
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,985
I'll just keep it
at the white meats,
43
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,953
vodka and gin.
44
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,455
Wha...? No.
45
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,357
Beer and wine. Got it.
46
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,658
No.
47
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,026
Wine coolers and...
48
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,662
uh, cooking sherry. Done.
It's easy.
49
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:09,597
No.
50
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,131
Vanilla extract and...
51
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,033
and turpentine!
No, Crawford, nothing!
52
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,768
You know what?
As a show of solidarity,
53
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,104
Warner and I are gonna
quit drinking, too.
Yeah.
54
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,706
(laughing)
55
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,274
What? No, no...
56
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:23,477
no, no, no, no.
57
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,446
Okay, well, if Crawford stops,
we all stop.
58
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,014
It's only fair.
Okay, honey,
59
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,116
in all honesty,
if I want to have a drink,
60
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,451
there's nothing you
can do about it, so...
61
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,719
(chuckles)
62
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,389
Oh! Oh! Aah! The pee
couch, the pee couch!
63
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,890
The pee couch.
64
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,494
I can't believe you took
a called third strike
65
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,063
in a slow-pitch
softball game.
66
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:50,204
She was one
of their better pitchers.
67
00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,840
She was in a wheelchair.
68
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,878
You know why I stink
so badly at baseball?
69
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,648
Maybe it's because you
were never there to teach me.
70
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,917
Right. That's why every
NBA player without a father
71
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,288
turned out spazzy.
72
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,658
Edna, do we have
any Gatorade?
73
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,461
What have you done
to deserve Gatorade?
74
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,897
Gatorade is a reward.
75
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,900
What water and salt
was lost from your body
76
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,936
that needs to be
replenished?
77
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:27,040
The tears from when you
took a called third strike?
78
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,944
This is how you make up
for abandoning me?
79
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,947
By insulting me after
I've let you live with me?
80
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,549
When I didn't live with you,
81
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:38,619
I didn't know
how bad you stunk.
82
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,621
(stammers)
83
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,256
You know what?
84
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,891
Forget it.
85
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,426
Edna.
86
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,629
I found 28 cents
in right field
for your change jar.
87
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,565
What are you, uh,
doing with all that money?
88
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:55,636
I want to send my cousin, Señor
Junior, to junior college.
89
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,705
What's he doing now?
90
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,475
Señor Junior stay back
in junior high.
91
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:07,315
Now Señor Junior high
school senior, señor.
92
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,116
¿Comprende?
93
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,319
Sí.
94
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,655
I mean, Nicholson is hammered
all the time
95
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,890
and he makes millions.
96
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:20,394
And the, and the pope drinks
wine, for Pete's sake.
97
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,162
So, uh...
98
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,897
you guys really decided
to quit drinking?
99
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,566
(chuckles):
Yes, you bet.
Mm.
100
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,100
Um, could you
101
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,802
hand me that
hand sanitizer, please?
102
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:29,803
Oh.
103
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,672
Thank you so much.
104
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,007
Crawford!
105
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,277
What is the matter with you?!
106
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,679
I don't know.
107
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,948
I mean, my body feels
like I was happily dead
108
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,317
and then I was violently
brought back to life
109
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,853
by some horrible experiment.
110
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,357
(low grunting)
111
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:54,161
Can we please get some more gum
in this office?!
112
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:59,633
I'm so sick and tired of working
in a freaking gum-less office!
113
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,471
Hey, so what brought on
this whole "no drinking" thing?
114
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,673
Dad peed on the couch
and then Camila overreacted,
115
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,641
and now the three of us
aren't drinking.
116
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,943
Oh, Camila quit, too?
117
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,311
Yeah, but she's fine--
you know,
118
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,113
she doesn't drink
as much as we do.
119
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,683
(laughs):
I don't need red wine.
120
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,652
You... need red wine.
121
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,565
(whimpering)
122
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,603
(groaning)
123
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,877
So, what's it like
not drinking?
124
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:47,748
It's like being Mormon
except you only get one wife.
125
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,919
(chuckles): This is
never gonna work, man.
126
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,554
No, no, no, no, no.
127
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,822
It's gonna work,
it's gonna work.
128
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,925
Hey, does your pot dealer
sell heroin?
129
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,063
(quietly):
Hey.
130
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,946
So, no drinking, huh?
131
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,917
What the hell are we gonna do
from 5:00 to 11:00?
132
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,954
We could play charades.
133
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:33,193
I would rather read the Bible
with a gun in my mouth.
134
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,095
Okay, what about hobbies?
135
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,931
Crawford, you must have some
hobbies after all these years.
136
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:41,435
Hmm. You know, I think
you might have something there,
137
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,136
little missy.
138
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,072
I'll be right back.
139
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,543
If he brings back the scissors,
I get the first haircut.
140
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,612
Still wet!
141
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,915
Here you go, son.
142
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,917
Oh, Dad, no, I don't want
to play guitar, man.
143
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,386
Oh, here, here, here.
I don't want to play guitar.
144
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,254
You know, it
might help us.
145
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,924
Take our minds off not drinking.
146
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,927
ALL (sighing quietly):
Drinking.
147
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,732
(playing gentle melody)
148
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,234
Hey, not bad, Crawford.
149
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,436
Come on, Warner.
150
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:20,173
(playing blues)
151
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,312
There we go.
152
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,947
Yeah!
153
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,320
(blues continue)
154
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,188
Whoo!
155
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,125
Hey, whoa, whoa,
156
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,494
whoa, whoa.
(imitating tapping cymbals)
157
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,968
Camila...
158
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,937
it was Simon & Garfunkel,
159
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,372
not Simon, Garfunkel
& Garfunkel's wife
160
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,542
banging on a table.
161
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,610
(resume playing blues)
162
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,111
*
163
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,914
(singing lively melody)
164
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,153
Whoa!
165
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,623
Edna, what are you
still doing here?
166
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,560
You got something
to tell me, ese?
167
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,364
Actually, I do.
168
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:21,134
I was thinking that I want
my socks to be rolled
into balls from now on,
169
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,369
instead of folded together.
170
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:23,937
Hmm.
171
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,376
Are you stealing from me?!
172
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,911
What?!
173
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,747
The jar. Change was...
174
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,549
up here.
175
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,951
Now... down here.
176
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:43,390
Why would I steal your change?
177
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,892
Ha!
178
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,427
Look around this apartment.
179
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,865
You TV, you stereo,
180
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,734
this plant.
181
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:58,872
You living pretty high,
muchacho.
182
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:04,177
Edna, I'm... I'm not
stealing your change.
183
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,714
I gave you change, remember?
Yesterday.
184
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,016
Yes.
185
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,918
That's true.
186
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:14,454
So am I still a suspect?
187
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,790
You free to go.
188
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,592
But...
189
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,694
no leave town.
190
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,597
You still hombre of interest.
191
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,768
(electronic tones sound)
192
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,840
(electronic tones sound)
193
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,409
(electronic tones sound)
194
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,713
What's happening
with your phone?!
195
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,415
Edna's convinced that my dad
is stealing change from her,
196
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,751
so she keeps sending me
197
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,619
these threatening
text messages for him.
198
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,621
Check this out.
199
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,858
"I kill him during
he watch loud opera."
200
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:57,097
"I fry-pan his head
during Geo-purdy."
201
00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,500
"I make blender angry
at his hand fingers." Like...
202
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,637
You sure a dog
didn't just grab her phone
203
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,939
and start randomly
biting buttons?
204
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,642
Hi, guys. How's the
no-drinking going?
205
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,177
Uh, yeah, not bad,
actually.
206
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,946
Yeah. We're filling up
the time by writing songs.
207
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,281
Songs?
Mm-hmm.
208
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,816
I didn't know
you guys played music.
209
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,821
WARNER: Would you like
to hear something?
Nope.
210
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,856
This is a
workplace,
211
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,693
not two idiots
on a college quad.
212
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:29,096
Come on. Song! Let's get a song,
right, guys? Song!
(Warner and Crawford protesting)
213
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,931
A song! Song!
Eli, no, no.
No. No. No.
214
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,666
(chanting):
Song! Song! Song!
No, no!
215
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:35,468
Song! Song! Song...
CRAWFORD:
No!
216
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,404
A minor.
(playing guitars)
217
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:44,712
* My daddy was
a drunken loser *
218
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:48,181
* I was raised
by a drunken dad *
219
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,384
* Like me,
I became *
220
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,320
* A boozer
221
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:57,057
* And I raised you
as a drunken dad *
222
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,625
* But
223
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:02,662
* I still made it
to your wedding on time *
224
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:07,067
* You drove the car
through the reception line *
225
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,402
* Back then
drunk driving wasn't *
226
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,705
* Such a crime
227
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,541
* Raised by a drunken dad
228
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,176
Take it, Warner.
229
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,378
(playing recorder)
230
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,320
* A good dad
231
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,322
* I could not be
232
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,992
* I was raised by a drunken
233
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,594
* Dad
234
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:38,598
* And the apple doesn't
fall far from the tree *
235
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,935
* My son is a drunken dad
236
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,570
* So sad
237
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:47,240
* My son is a drunken
238
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,410
* Dad.
239
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,615
(applause)
240
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,886
That was really moving.
241
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,020
Well, it was emotional.
242
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,722
Yeah. Cool beans, huh?
Listen,
243
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,792
I run the local
Alcoholics Anonymous.
Uh-huh.
244
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:07,427
And I was wondering
if you guys would come down
245
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,096
and play at a meeting.
246
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,965
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, th-that'd be great.
247
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,202
Cool. Thanks. Awesome.
(chuckles)
WARNER: Okay.
248
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,270
Warner...
249
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:21,508
we just got signed
by Capitol Records.
250
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,379
Dad, I-I think
you're still drying out.
251
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,916
He just asked us to play
at an A.A. meeting.
252
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:32,953
Well, I guess we should
do what the label says.
253
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:36,089
EDNA:
Mr. Eli,
Yeah.
254
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,792
here your sock how you want.
255
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,295
Oh.
256
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,932
No, Edna. I-I meant
that each sock would be rolled
257
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:49,169
into a tiny ball, not all
of them in one big ball.
258
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,172
Oh, boy.
259
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,441
You no gonna like your shirts.
260
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,078
Hello.
261
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,646
Hey. Where you been?
262
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,481
I got a flu shot
at the pharmacy.
263
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,783
Because who better
to administer medical care
264
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:07,520
than the guy who puts price tags
on flip-flops?
265
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,589
Nice watch.
266
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,992
Oh, thank you. It's new.
267
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:12,993
Where'd you get it?
268
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,627
Excuse me, Mr. David.
269
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,864
Where's my money, bitch?!
Hey, hey.
270
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,834
What are you talking about?
271
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,871
Dad, are you stealing change
from Edna's jar?
272
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,940
Stealing? Stealing?
273
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,676
Oh, because I can't have
beautiful things?
274
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,011
I'm the one
275
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,312
who was robbed.
276
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,847
Of my dignity!
277
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,582
Good day!
278
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,385
There's something
I want to watch on TV.
279
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,720
Pretend I stormed out.
280
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,761
(jingling)
281
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,917
You steal my change!
282
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:13,053
No, I didn't. Check your jar.
283
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,023
It's full,
isn't it?
284
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,891
I think you owe me an apology.
285
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,894
I sorry.
286
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:23,230
I don't accept your apology.
287
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,732
You have disgraced Jesus.
288
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,935
(jingling)
289
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,604
Wait a second.
290
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,406
This no my jar.
291
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,275
This jar smaller.
292
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,444
Or Edna bigger.
293
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,447
Let me see that.
294
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,615
Hey, you're right.
That is smaller.
295
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,051
Let's take him out, man!
296
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,419
Hey... wait...
297
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,422
Let's follow him and catch him
in the act.
298
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:53,460
No. I catch him
in the act last week.
299
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,364
He had laptop on sink.
300
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,432
Wait a minute,
he doesn't have a laptop.
301
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,634
Oh, that was mine.
302
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,439
Hello, my name is Bob T.,
303
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,275
and I'm an alcoholic.
304
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:11,378
OTHERS:
We know.
305
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,381
Okay. So,
let's get this meeting started
306
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,750
and give a special welcome
to two new attendees,
307
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,219
Crawford and Warner.
308
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,955
OTHERS:
Hi, Crawford and Warner.
Hi. Hi.
309
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,791
These guys are here
to open the meeting with
310
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,226
an inspirational song
311
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,295
that I think everyone here
can relate to.
312
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,297
Yeah. Yeah.
Thanks for
having us. Yeah.
313
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,132
Keep fighting, gang.
314
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,134
Hopefully this will help.
315
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,935
Okay.
316
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:40,240
* Sometimes life
can be so tough *
317
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,176
* You want to scream
"I've had enough" *
318
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,912
* At times like that we know
319
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,949
* Just what
you think *
320
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:53,620
* But keep that bottle
on the shelf *
321
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,689
* Look in the mirror
and ask yourself *
322
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,260
* "Now,
do I really need *
323
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,196
* This drink?"
324
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,532
We're losing 'em, Dad.
325
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,767
Yeah. I know.
326
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,469
Maybe we should do the one
we wrote this morning.
327
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,838
No, no, no, no. It's not
ready, it's not ready.
328
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,873
Yeah, but it's...
Warner, it's our only hope.
329
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,509
We can all hear you.
330
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,678
Well,
331
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,348
as I've just said, the musical
question... (chuckles)
332
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:25,318
* Do I really need this drink?
333
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,522
Well, the answer is... yes.
334
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,325
* Bottoms up, bottoms up
335
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,794
* It'll get you
through the day *
336
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,497
* Bottoms up,
bottoms up *
337
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,732
* That's the alcoholic way
338
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,502
* Fly away
from it all *
339
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,704
* On the wings of alcohol
340
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,207
* Have a drink, have a ball
341
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,242
* Bottoms up, bottoms up
342
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,377
Take it, Warner.
343
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,579
(whistling softly)
344
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,484
Sorry.
* Bottoms up
345
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,018
* Bottoms up
346
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,887
* That's how we start the day
347
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,522
* Bottoms up
348
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:06,359
* Bottoms up,
and work turns into play *
349
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,261
* And who cares if you find
350
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,897
* That you're slowly
going blind *
351
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,500
* You'll be drunk,
you won't mind *
352
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,768
* Bottoms up, bottoms up
353
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,337
Everybody!
* Bottoms up
354
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,538
ALL:
* Bottoms up
355
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,174
* Bottoms up, bottoms up
356
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,510
* Bottoms up,
bottoms up *
357
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,678
* Bottoms up, bottoms up
358
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,846
* Look around
359
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,449
* Watch the
news, it'll *
360
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,152
* Give you the blues
361
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,422
* That's why God gave us booze
362
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:38,625
* Bottoms up, bottoms up.
363
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,893
Hey, Dave.
364
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:43,430
OTHERS:
Dave!
365
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,198
How's life treating you,
Mr. Sachs?
366
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:49,436
The world's a giant dog turd
and I'm a plastic bag.
367
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,471
You gonna get that thing today
or what?
368
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,974
Got two pockets full of hope.
(jingling)
369
00:17:57,009 --> 00:18:00,380
What the hell is my
dad doing at this bar?
370
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:04,751
Maybe he have sex with men
in bathroom for change.
371
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:05,952
Come on.
372
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,321
EDNA:
Aha!
373
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:09,889
My change!
374
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,259
What?!
Dad,
375
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,993
is that Edna's change?
376
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,496
Did you follow me
all the way here?
Yes!
377
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,665
And what were you doing
for an hour in that store
378
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,767
that sells wheelchairs
and bedpans?
379
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,904
You don't want to wait till you
need a bedpan to get a bedpan.
380
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,106
I kill you, muchacho!
381
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,342
Hold on, hold on.
382
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,244
I can explain.
383
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,180
Look.
384
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,115
I felt really bad about
all that stuff I said to you
385
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,817
after the softball game
386
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:41,087
and how you felt about me
abandoning you. I thought maybe
387
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,622
I could make it up
to you a little,
388
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,857
so I'm trying to get you
that Bionic Baby toy
389
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,359
you loved as a kid.
390
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,161
Bionic Baby?
391
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:51,864
The one you threw out the car
window after Grandma's funeral?
392
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:55,202
Yes. Anyway, I couldn't find
anyplace that sold them,
393
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:58,171
so I tracked down the only place
that had one, here,
394
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,640
in this game.
395
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,276
Bionic Baby!
396
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,646
Oh, my gosh! I can see him!
He's at the bottom!
397
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,348
I didn't think it was
gonna be so hard to get,
398
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,517
but after I spent
the only 40 bucks I had trying
399
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:14,287
to grab that sucker, I started
borrowing Edna's change.
400
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,356
Stealing!
401
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,858
I was gonna pay it back,
I swear.
402
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,228
I'm gonna get you, Bionic Baby!
403
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,363
Can I have five beers, please?
Same for me, please!
404
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,832
That's not a good idea.
No, no. No, no.
405
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,300
CRAWFORD:
Now, hold on!
406
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,402
No, no. Hold-hold on!
Hold on! Hold on!
407
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,003
Hold on, everybody!
Hold on!
408
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,138
Crawford?
409
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:32,972
David?
410
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:33,806
Warner?
411
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,742
Edna?
412
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,410
If you're here
for Bionic Baby,
413
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:41,548
you're gonna have to go
through me and her.
414
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,383
What are you
talking about?
415
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,751
CRAWFORD:
No, we're here
416
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,486
to keep these A.A. people
from drinking.
417
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,087
Hurry, Warner.
418
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,823
* There's a new libation
that is sweeping *
419
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,892
* The nation
420
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,994
* It's called water
421
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,230
WARNER:
* Water
422
00:19:57,264 --> 00:20:00,132
CRAWFORD:
* It's called water.
423
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,541
(playing soft melody)
424
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,879
So, you guys are drinking again?
Yeah,
425
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:16,749
we decided that music destroys
more lives than alcohol.
426
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:17,884
ELI:
No!
427
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,820
Oh, come on!
428
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:25,625
How much did you pay for that
box of soon-to-be ocean garbage?
429
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,295
I didn't. My dad and Edna and I
carried it out
430
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,397
when those two started
a drunken riot.
431
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,900
Hey, how's it going?
Did you get it yet?
432
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,369
No, no, no. Just
all this junk.
433
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,605
No. This not junk.
434
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,573
This is Saturday night out.
435
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,142
Ooh! Ooh!
436
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:47,780
Well, Edna and I have
a little surprise for you.
437
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,916
We turned over your couch.
438
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,451
(exhales)
439
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,386
That's awesome.
440
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,954
Thank you.
441
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,057
Now you play
until you get Bionic Baby.
442
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,193
Or...
443
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,332
...you could just...
444
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:17,310
...do that.
445
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:19,446
Bionic Baby!
446
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,781
(sputters, zooming sounds)
447
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:25,017
Now, no more Bionic Baby,
448
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,486
no more songs,
449
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,221
and back to work.
450
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,459
Vámonos.
451
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:34,293
(childish airplane noises)
452
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,995
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org
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