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1
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,543
(grunts loudly)
2
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,151
There's, like, the
whole rest of the couch.
3
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,787
This is the only cushion I like.
4
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:21,889
You just moved in.
5
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,391
How can you already have
a favorite cushion?
6
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,193
The butt wants
what it wants.
7
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,228
(crowd cheering over television)
8
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,032
You're watching the Little
League World Series?
9
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,034
You never even came to my games.
10
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,169
I don't know these kids,
11
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,638
so I won't be ashamed
when they screw up.
12
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,944
You be nicer to your son, or
you won't get into Heaven.
13
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,179
Heaven doesn't exist.
14
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:48,682
It's just a lie to keep
morons from freaking out.
15
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,119
You take back.
Is Heaven.
No Heaven.
16
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,187
Is Heaven,
you diablo.
No Heaven.
17
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,288
Diablo.
No Heaven.
18
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,289
Diablo.
No Heaven!
19
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,024
(mouthing)
20
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,058
ANNOUNCER:
Dropped by Simmons.
21
00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:00,228
And look at his dad.
22
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,296
He wants to be
anywhere but here.
23
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,564
You see?
24
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,099
How do you know I was bad?
25
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,567
You never even came to a game.
26
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,236
Oh.
27
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,639
I apologize.
28
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,242
You're a natural.
29
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,481
* Daddy took me to the zoo
30
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,550
* Na, na, na, na *
31
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:26,554
* Just to see
something brand-new *
32
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,556
* Na, na, na *
33
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,760
* So many stars up in the sky
34
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:37,231
* So many questions have I
35
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,333
* Na, na, na, na *
36
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,935
* Daddy took me for a ride.
37
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,275
Hey, gang.
Oh, hey, Dad.
38
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:48,409
What are you doing here?
39
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,311
I got a big meeting today.
40
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:53,914
Warner, what if I told you
that I could corner
41
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,718
the entire market
for penguin meat?
42
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:07,761
Do-do-do people eat
penguin meat?
43
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,897
Taste this.
44
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,634
Nope.
45
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,668
(laughs)
46
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:15,769
Eli?
47
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,371
Uh, no.
48
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,773
I'm Jewish.
49
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:23,143
It's free.
50
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,650
Well, anyway.
51
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,885
Keep your fingers crossed.
52
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,622
With any luck, we'll be
firing up the slaughterhouse
53
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,424
by 2:00 p.m. tomorrow.
54
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,927
I'll save you some "happy feet."
55
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,133
My dad, the businessman.
56
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,968
He keeps trying
because most people
57
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,638
get their big break at 70.
58
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,307
Guys, Golden Gate Games
is crushing us.
59
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,542
They just announced
three new concepts
60
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,176
and their stock is going
through the roof.
61
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:59,079
I know. We both bought
500 shares last year.
62
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,080
What?!
63
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,215
Boom!
64
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,517
Back that money truck up!
Okay!
65
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,918
Back it up.
(beeping)
66
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,320
Back it up.
Where do you want it?
67
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,522
There's so much money.
(beeps)
68
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,491
We need a game.
Oh, don't worry about it.
69
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,526
This-this is the brain
that's given us games
70
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,328
like Tanks Versus Kittens.
71
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,330
Satan in Outer Space.
72
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:20,334
Knife Your Neighbor.
73
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,669
Well, that brain just handed me
74
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,505
Pierce Brosnan Presents:
Badminton.
75
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,408
Huh, that's all
you've come up with?
Hey, ow, ow, hey!
76
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,377
Hey, I'm sorry, I'm trying!
77
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,210
Let me see your eyes.
78
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,512
What?
Eyes, eyes,
79
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,646
eyes, eyes, eyes!
80
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,516
Oh, my God.
81
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,684
I knew it!
82
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:37,951
You're not stoned.
83
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:44,458
What, are you trying
to ruin this company?
84
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,527
I... I don't need
to be on something
85
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,128
to come up with a good idea.
86
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,163
(Warner and Veronica laugh)
87
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,402
Come here.
88
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:58,306
(grunts)
89
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,508
Eli, how long has
this been going on?
90
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,311
Wh-What's going on?
91
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,646
Eli, this is
a safe place.
92
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,317
Wait, is this an intervention?
93
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:14,254
It's whatever it needs to be
to get you back on drugs.
94
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,060
I know you think not
getting high seems really cool
95
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,228
and all that, blah-la-la-la-la.
96
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,296
But it-it...
97
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,733
But it's affecting
your friends, your family,
98
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,601
and-and most importantly
your work.
99
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,437
Eli, this company needs
a new game.
100
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,238
It's not that bad.
101
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,573
It's not that bad? It's not...?
102
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,007
Yo, what is this, huh?
103
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,409
What is that?
Is that a gym bag?
104
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,577
You've been working out?
105
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,078
Hey, don't touch my stuff, man!
106
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,179
VERONICA:
Here!
107
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,948
Why don't you touch
this stuff?
108
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,083
Look, these are
special brownies from my clinic.
109
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,118
Use them to come up
with a great game idea
110
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,520
that I can put
into production.
111
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,261
Okay.
112
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,797
I'll get high tonight.
113
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,377
I thought that was
your favorite cushion.
114
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:12,980
I love all the cushions.
115
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,197
Dad, did...
116
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,799
did you eat this brownie?
117
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,834
(laughs):
Yeah.
118
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,842
(humming)
119
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,018
Wow, you seem like
you're in a really good mood.
120
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,319
Why shouldn't I be?
121
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,088
I'm here
in this beautiful apartment.
122
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:59,092
I blew my nose five minutes ago
and got everything.
123
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:03,163
I have nothing
to complain about.
124
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,865
Really? Um...
125
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,834
okay, what about...
126
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,101
President Obama?
127
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,370
He's trying his best.
128
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,275
Okay, um, you know, I was
at dinner earlier tonight,
129
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,545
and there was a gay couple
sitting next to me.
130
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,681
They were going at it
pretty good.
131
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,217
Hey, love is where you find it.
132
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,822
Even if it's at the top
of Brokeback Mountain.
133
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,030
So, why...
why-why do you think
134
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,299
you're so happy tonight?
135
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,536
Well, I was
here by myself,
136
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:46,373
yelling at Wolf Blitzer
like I always do...
137
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,876
and I saw those brownies
in the refrigerator.
138
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,944
And I don't
usually eat chocolate
139
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,013
because it's for women.
140
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,719
But then I thought,
"You know what, David?
141
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,754
You deserve some pleasure."
142
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,389
And it hit me.
143
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,391
When I'm yelling
at Wolf Blitzer,
144
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,626
I'm really yelling at...
145
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,894
Yourself.
146
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,562
No, Wolf Blitzer.
147
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,498
I love myself.
148
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:13,501
I love everybody.
149
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,835
Even Mom?
150
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,337
Nope.
151
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,906
But I love you.
152
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,240
You know that, right?
153
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,275
Mwah!
154
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,753
I... I love you, too, Dad.
155
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,423
I'm sorry I don't
say it enough.
156
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,827
Tr... trust me,
this will last a lifetime.
157
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:48,836
What's wrong, honey?
158
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,303
Oh, nothing.
159
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,305
I'm just worried about
going under financially,
160
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,341
and then having to sell
the house and then move in
161
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,510
above an Ethiopian
restaurant.
162
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,779
What is it this time?
163
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,614
Well, you know, it's just
164
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:03,283
Eli hasn't really had a good
idea since his dad moved in,
165
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,786
and-and if we don't get a game
into production this week,
166
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,455
then-then we're gonna
miss the holiday rush,
167
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,291
and then have to end up
selling the house and...
168
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,627
And Ethiopian restaurant,
right, okay.
169
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,129
Um, listen.
170
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:20,467
I think I can help you
relieve some of that stress.
171
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,470
Oh, you mean... you
mean intercourse.
172
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,138
Yeah, that might help.
173
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:28,909
Yup, I'll just put both of
the phones in airplane mode.
174
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,377
(both laughing)
175
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,948
What are you doing?
176
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,951
Oh, are you having sex?
177
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,190
I can wait outside until
I hear Warner say, "Sorry."
178
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,159
No, we're not having sex.
179
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,261
Good, 'cause you know
what I always say
180
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,030
about sex on a work night.
181
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,199
The competition's
not having sex...
182
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,835
CRAWFORD and WARNER: So you're
just screwing yourself.
183
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,869
Yeah.
184
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,673
So, what's our next big game?
185
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,108
No idea.
186
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:04,177
My dad ate one
of the brownies,
187
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,280
and he was a delight.
188
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,549
My dad did something
that required
189
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,820
five toilet flushes at 4:12 a.m.
190
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,189
Well, you know, there's
an easy solution.
191
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,791
You can just give
him a brownie.
192
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:19,192
Oh, no, no, no, no.
193
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,628
Camila would...
Camila would kill me
194
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,930
if she caught me
drugging my dad.
195
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,198
Oh, I didn't realize
she was so anti-drug.
196
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:28,401
Didn't she used to be the
"Bloody Nose Nightclub Queen"?
197
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,204
Well, you know, we have kids now
198
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,441
and so she's basically against
everything she used to love.
199
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,409
So don't tell her.
200
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,878
We don't keep secrets.
201
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,913
We even have access to
each other's Internet history.
202
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,650
That's how I know
she watches so much porno.
203
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,923
The kids are asleep,
and I'm gonna go to bed.
204
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,060
No.
205
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,495
Let me be your laptop tonight.
206
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,898
Oh...
207
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,299
I like it.
208
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,635
Okay.
I'll be up in a minute.
209
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,271
Fold my corner
of the blanket down.
210
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,410
Uh, Dad?
211
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,647
I'm going to sleep.
212
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,683
Good night.
213
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,254
There might be something left
on the counter for you.
214
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,323
Warner?
215
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,358
Aw.
216
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,530
Hello.
217
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,205
Mmm.
218
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,507
WARNER:
(whoops) Hey, now!
219
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,553
So, did the...
did the brownie work?
220
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,790
Eight hours of sleep
and super-hot married sex
221
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,291
with my wife.
222
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,860
(laughs)
223
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,329
She-she picked me up
224
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,532
and did me
against the wall.
225
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,871
She rubbed five of the seven
skin layers off my back.
226
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,072
Wow.
227
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,340
You know, I'm-I'm glad
228
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,641
you're comfortable enough
around me
229
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,343
to talk about
your rag doll-like participation
230
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,478
in your wife's
sexual activities,
231
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,647
but if we don't have a game
by Friday,
232
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,382
we're gonna be screwed
for the holiday season.
233
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,151
I don't have an idea,
234
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,720
but I am two brownies away
from getting my dad
235
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,756
to admit he loved my mom.
236
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,491
Ooh. Well, when that happens,
237
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,026
maybe you won't need to have
238
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,162
action figures
on your desk anymore.
239
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,230
I don't...
240
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,698
I don't need them.
241
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,733
Not...
242
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:40,934
not Scooterman!
243
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,702
Anybody but Scooterman!
244
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,213
God, that feels so cool.
245
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,882
(doorbell rings)
246
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,755
Who are you?
247
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:04,157
I don't know.
248
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,629
DAVID:
Hey, Crawford!
249
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,965
What brings you
to this neck of the woods?
250
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:15,435
Well, I had
a delicious brownie...
251
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,875
...and then a little bird
led me here.
252
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,211
So, how are you?
253
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,879
I'm good.
254
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,447
(plays chord)
255
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,151
No, really, how are you?
256
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,753
I'm sad.
257
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,622
And I'm worried.
258
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:39,893
What if it starts to
rain and never stops?
259
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,228
(strums chords)
260
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,797
Oh, no.
What are we gonna do?
261
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,899
I'm gonna sing
you a song that I wrote
262
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:48,468
that just might change
the world.
263
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,772
* Noble Eskimo
264
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,675
* We stole your snow
265
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,480
* Noble Eskimo
266
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:03,984
* We stole your snow
267
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:09,089
* Our warming made
your igloo melt *
268
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:14,127
* You're left
with just a walrus pelt *
269
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,665
BOTH:
* Noble Eskimo
270
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,767
* We stole your snow
271
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,369
Nice.
272
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,271
And...
273
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:28,241
(harmonizing): * Noble Eskimo,
we stole your snow *
274
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,611
Yes, we did.
275
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,515
* Our warming made
your igloo melt *
276
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:39,186
* You're left
with just a walrus pelt *
277
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,288
* Noble...
278
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,522
Any ideas.
279
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,392
There are...
there are no bad ideas
280
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,694
at this point. Any ideas.
281
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,530
I hate the way you hold
your coffee mug with two hands.
282
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,668
I do, too. You look like a
commercial for a bone loss drug.
283
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,806
Oh, hey, back for more?
(chuckles)
284
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,641
No, honey, I'm-I'm not.
285
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,978
I'm actually here for your dad
because he's upstairs at Eli's.
286
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,479
Why's that?
287
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,847
I-I don't know.
288
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,217
I was stitching your pajamas
back together this morning,
289
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:13,320
and he just walked
right out the door.
290
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,488
He's been acting really weird
the last few days.
291
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,589
(gasps)
292
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,825
Do you think he had a stroke?
Oh...
293
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,760
No, no, he's fine.
They've both been
294
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,130
secretly drugging their
dads with pot brownies.
295
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,903
You brought drugs
into our house?
296
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,905
(chuckles)
297
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:34,441
Yes, but...
298
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,015
(clattering)
299
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:45,018
And down he goes!
300
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,854
Would you tackle me in a hallway
if we were married?
301
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,856
It'd be hard to do
since I killed myself
302
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,391
on our wedding night.
303
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:01,568
You marijuana'd us?
304
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,039
I'm gonna sue you.
305
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,441
We are so sorry. I...
306
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,044
We're just... we're under
a lot of pressure, and...
307
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,879
you guys are...
308
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,781
you're so
annoying. I...
309
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,884
I'm-I'm sorry
we tricked you.
310
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,386
You didn't trick us.
311
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,189
Of course we knew
we were getting stoned.
312
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,961
We grew up in the '60s,
you squares.
313
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,399
Okay, well, you
guys are cut off.
314
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,001
No more brownies.
315
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:39,639
Fine. We'll find
our own doobies.
316
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,242
Okay, how are you gonna
get your own doobies?
317
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,810
(chuckles)
318
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:48,415
I've got enough glaucoma
to glaze a donut.
319
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,018
Okay, guys,
this is serious.
320
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,919
W-We're afraid
that you guys are too old
321
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,254
to handle the effects of pot,
322
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,089
and if anything
were to happen to you,
323
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,590
we'd never forgive ourselves.
324
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,426
Can't handle the effects?
325
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,495
I could pot you under
the table, sonny.
326
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,765
Okay, Dad,
that's ridiculous.
327
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,368
I got an idea.
328
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:13,040
Crawford and I challenge
you two to a Pot Off.
329
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:20,280
If you can handle more pot
than us, we'll stop.
330
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:24,117
Okay, nobody's gonna
have a "Pot Off" here.
331
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,953
No, we have to come up
with video game ideas.
332
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,221
Come on.
333
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:29,889
Okay, you're on.
334
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,025
WARNER:
What?
335
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,794
No, we-we have work to do.
Our backs are against the wall.
336
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,663
Last I heard,
you liked that.
337
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:44,737
No game, no home,
Ethiopian restaurant.
338
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,206
Look, maybe we'll come up
with something
339
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,374
that'll save the company.
340
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,242
Two days ago,
you were begging me to do this.
341
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,644
Yeah, I-I was begging you,
not me.
342
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,680
Me go home to wife.
343
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,417
Are you gonna let them win?
344
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,685
Oh, forget it, Warner.
345
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:01,588
I was always the cool one
in the family anyway.
346
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:06,326
(mocking): "I was always the
cool one in the family anyway."
347
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,928
I'll show you who's cool.
348
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:11,030
Do you have a glass of milk?
349
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,667
ELI:
Okay.
350
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,236
Standard North American
Pot Off rules.
351
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,105
If you vomit or
your eyes close
352
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,706
for more than a
minute, you're out.
353
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,509
And if you jump out the
window, automatic forfeit.
354
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,010
Let the games begin.
355
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,578
(chuckles):
Yeah.
356
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,083
Mmm.
(chuckles)
357
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,287
Oh, yeah. Okay.
358
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,788
(chuckles)
359
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,357
Mmm.
360
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,359
(chuckles)
361
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,394
I got to lie down.
362
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,601
I need $2,000.
363
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:52,605
I want to become a deejay.
364
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,809
You have to give him the money.
365
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,080
I understand
how to get people dancing
366
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:04,617
and keep them dancing.
367
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,621
He totally does!
368
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,657
(grunts)
369
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,762
CRAWFORD/DAVID/ELI:
* Noble Eskimo
370
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:19,065
* We stole your snow
371
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,736
* Noble Eskimo,
we stole your snow *
372
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,238
I love this song.
373
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,575
* Our warming made
your igloo melt *
374
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,744
* You're left
with just a walrus pelt *
375
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,746
* Noble Eskimo
376
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,048
* We stole your snow
377
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,453
* Noble Eskimo,
we stole your snow *
378
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,589
(sputtering)
379
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,092
* Our warming made
your igloo melt *
380
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,328
* You're left
with just... *
381
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,566
Warner?
382
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,604
How long you gonna
stay in there?
383
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,739
WARNER:
How long is time?
384
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,376
(quietly):
Dude, get out of there.
385
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,345
We're gonna lose this thing.
386
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,787
What's it say?
387
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,123
"I no longer
understand your ways.
388
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,626
"P.S. I will lower
my defenses long enough
389
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,929
for you to slide a pizza
under the east cushion."
390
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,065
Sneak attack!
391
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,470
(Warner laughs)
392
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,506
Suck my cushions,
little man!
393
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,678
Hello, 911?
394
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,013
Hi.
395
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:44,050
I think I might be dead.
396
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:48,421
We're doing way
better than them.
397
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,989
They're really messed up.
398
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,391
I'm proud of us.
399
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,593
Me, too.
400
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:57,430
Hey, um...
can I ask you something?
401
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:59,599
Did I love your mother, right?
402
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,602
(exhales)
403
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,237
Well, did you?
404
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:09,075
I don't think I ever
really loved anyone, Eli.
405
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,778
Until the day you were born.
406
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:18,351
Thanks, Dad.
That... means... a lot.
407
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,788
So does "plethora."
408
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,257
Hey, you want to split
a pound of turkey?
409
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,425
Oh, yeah.
410
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,328
Oh!
411
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,165
Don't!
412
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:43,209
So, how was Camila?
413
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,711
She's mad.
414
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:48,381
She said I can't play
at your house anymore.
415
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,983
(sighs)
Where's my game idea?
416
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,653
Ah, I'm sorry. I just...
I don't have anything.
417
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:55,555
Yeah, that's okay.
The important thing is...
418
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,223
Oh!
Where's my game?!
419
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,892
You're a modern-day secret agent
who travels back to ancient Rome
420
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,394
to stop the assassination
of Julius Caesar!
421
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,730
And you're not just
fighting conspiring forces,
422
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,565
you're also battling gods
like Jupiter and Neptune!
423
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,899
It's called Save Caesar.
424
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,302
Oh.
425
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,338
Great. I'll get to work
on it immediately.
426
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:14,273
Fear: the new pot.
427
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,511
Do you want to
get some lunch?
Oh, yeah.
428
00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:20,547
Let me just ask my wife.
429
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,285
Yeah. Hi, honey.
430
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,755
Uh, can I go to lunch with Eli?
431
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:32,124
(chuckles):
Oh, okay. Okay, thanks.
432
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,860
Yeah. No, I got to go home.
433
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:37,730
Captioned by
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