Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:40,292
It is time.
2
00:00:42,086 --> 00:00:48,092
They've reached the second crucial
turning point in their destiny.
3
00:00:48,259 --> 00:00:52,805
Their message is about to
reach millions.
4
00:00:53,013 --> 00:00:56,725
But... we will change all that.
5
00:00:58,394 --> 00:01:01,480
When our mission is successful...
6
00:01:01,689 --> 00:01:05,818
...no longer will the world
be dominated...
7
00:01:06,026 --> 00:01:11,282
...by the legacy of these two fools!
8
00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:14,743
No longer will we hear this:
9
00:01:15,411 --> 00:01:17,413
We will stop them now!
10
00:01:18,789 --> 00:01:20,583
Brothers and sisters...
11
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:24,003
...are we ready?
12
00:02:55,177 --> 00:02:58,973
- Greetings, my excellent pupils.
- Station.
13
00:02:59,181 --> 00:03:03,435
Let's continue our study of the
physics of acoustical reverberation.
14
00:03:03,686 --> 00:03:07,147
Meet today's most non-bogus
guest speakers.
15
00:03:07,314 --> 00:03:09,358
Say hello to Thomas Edison.
16
00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:11,277
Hello there.
17
00:03:11,485 --> 00:03:13,654
To help us on the musical side:
18
00:03:13,946 --> 00:03:15,739
Johann Sebastian Bach.
19
00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:22,037
And Sir James Martin
of Faith No More...
20
00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:27,334
...founder of the Faith No More
Spiritual and Theological Center.
21
00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:32,923
- Station!
- Station!
22
00:03:33,132 --> 00:03:36,051
And a special treat
from the 23rd century:
23
00:03:36,343 --> 00:03:38,012
Miss Ria Paschelle.
24
00:03:42,808 --> 00:03:45,269
Miss Paschelle is
the inventor of the...
25
00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:49,106
...statiophonicoxygeneticamp-
lifiagraphiphonideliverberator.
26
00:03:49,315 --> 00:03:52,234
Hard to imagine the world
without them, isn't it?
27
00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:57,698
Remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin
and Aretha Franklin will be here.
28
00:03:57,907 --> 00:04:02,912
Saturday is the field trip
to Babylonia. And very important:
29
00:04:03,162 --> 00:04:08,501
Do not do your homework without
wearing headphones...
30
00:05:05,724 --> 00:05:08,686
De Nomolos. My old teacher.
31
00:05:09,186 --> 00:05:13,774
Rufus.
My favorite pupil.
32
00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:16,527
- I thought you were...
- Dead?
33
00:05:17,152 --> 00:05:18,654
No.
34
00:05:19,488 --> 00:05:21,448
Just in preparation.
35
00:05:23,742 --> 00:05:28,455
I worked within the system
until I could stand it no longer.
36
00:05:28,664 --> 00:05:30,457
And soon...
37
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:36,714
...soon the system
will never have existed.
38
00:05:37,715 --> 00:05:40,551
- You won't get away with it.
- Time will tell.
39
00:05:40,718 --> 00:05:42,303
Time has told.
40
00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:48,309
I'll go back and change that,
with the aid of my secret weapons!
41
00:05:52,897 --> 00:05:55,149
How's it going, dudes?
42
00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:18,631
Friends, friends, friends.
These are automatons.
43
00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:23,052
Replicas only.
Furnished with my agenda.
44
00:06:23,802 --> 00:06:26,013
Now, what is your mission?
45
00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:31,310
- First, we totally kill Bill and Ted.
- Then we take over their lives.
46
00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:33,854
Then we utterly destroy them.
47
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:38,984
At the Battle of the Bands, we give
their speech except totally different.
48
00:06:39,276 --> 00:06:43,155
And thus a new future is born.
A great future.
49
00:06:43,572 --> 00:06:45,783
Don't tell us.
You programmed us.
50
00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:48,744
- He's totally a robot!
- So are you!
51
00:06:48,953 --> 00:06:50,829
We're total metal heads!
52
00:06:52,081 --> 00:06:53,541
Shut up.
53
00:06:57,253 --> 00:06:58,671
Now.
54
00:06:59,588 --> 00:07:01,966
- What is the fuel?
- Fear!
55
00:07:02,174 --> 00:07:04,844
- What is the engine?
- Discipline!
56
00:07:05,052 --> 00:07:07,346
- What is the ideal?
- Order!
57
00:07:07,555 --> 00:07:09,640
And how do we achieve it?
58
00:07:18,858 --> 00:07:20,526
Death to Bill and Ted!
59
00:07:23,863 --> 00:07:26,574
Catch you later, evil dude.
60
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,577
I am Bill S. Preston...
61
00:08:11,785 --> 00:08:13,495
...Esquire!
62
00:08:15,915 --> 00:08:19,835
This is Ted "Theodore" Logan!
63
00:08:22,421 --> 00:08:24,715
On drums and keyboards...
64
00:08:24,965 --> 00:08:28,511
...celebrating their fifth year
in the 20th century...
65
00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:31,805
...the princesses
from medieval England.
66
00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:34,725
Joanna and Elizabeth.
67
00:08:36,101 --> 00:08:37,394
And we are...
68
00:08:38,437 --> 00:08:40,856
...Wyld Stallyns.
69
00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:48,781
You tell me you're
the greatest band, but you stink.
70
00:08:50,324 --> 00:08:52,868
We don't understand it either.
71
00:08:53,077 --> 00:08:54,662
You can't sing.
72
00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:59,583
- The girls can play. But you guys?
- Girls mature faster than guys.
73
00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:02,294
Plus, they started
in the 15th century.
74
00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:03,796
What do you mean?
75
00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:07,299
- They're from medieval England.
- Ted, shut up.
76
00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:09,635
Medieval England, Iowa.
77
00:09:09,844 --> 00:09:14,223
The Battle of the Bands is
the biggest event in the area.
78
00:09:14,431 --> 00:09:17,226
We're talking
about a $25,000 first prize...
79
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:21,856
...a two-year record deal and exposure
to people in the business.
80
00:09:22,106 --> 00:09:27,903
We're even live on Channel 12. If you
were me, would you put you guys on?
81
00:09:28,112 --> 00:09:29,280
No way.
82
00:09:30,614 --> 00:09:34,368
Since you work for Pretzels 'N' Cheese,
I'll give you a shot.
83
00:09:34,577 --> 00:09:36,245
Excellent!
84
00:09:38,247 --> 00:09:43,627
But last. Midnight.
By that time, everyone will be gone.
85
00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:46,380
That's all right.
We're used to that.
86
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:50,009
We cleaned out Ted's brother's
junior high dance.
87
00:09:50,217 --> 00:09:53,679
They turned on "La Bamba"
while he was playing his solo.
88
00:09:53,888 --> 00:09:55,681
Shut up, Ted!
89
00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:59,977
Guys, do yourself a favor.
Prepare a little.
90
00:10:00,186 --> 00:10:03,189
Work on your act.
Think of something.
91
00:10:03,397 --> 00:10:06,775
Don't worry.
We won't let you down.
92
00:10:11,447 --> 00:10:15,492
- Dude, we gotta win.
- Then we could propose to the ladies.
93
00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:20,372
We can't raise a family on the
money from Pretzels 'N' Cheese.
94
00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:24,710
I'll tell Missy we're on our way.
95
00:10:24,877 --> 00:10:28,255
Should be a most resplendent
birthday party.
96
00:10:30,216 --> 00:10:32,885
- Shall we, ladies?
- Great, sure.
97
00:10:53,489 --> 00:10:56,867
So you have something
else to celebrate tonight.
98
00:10:57,409 --> 00:10:59,954
We got into the Battle of the Bands.
99
00:11:02,331 --> 00:11:05,668
If we win, I'll totally
pay you back your money.
100
00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:07,920
What if you don't win?
101
00:11:09,964 --> 00:11:14,260
Well, uh, I guess...
102
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:22,142
- Maybe sell more blood.
- Think about selling the instruments.
103
00:11:22,351 --> 00:11:26,230
Of course, we've always got
a spot for you.
104
00:11:26,689 --> 00:11:31,026
Remember my friend, Colonel Oats
from the Alaskan Military School?
105
00:11:36,323 --> 00:11:37,950
- "How's it going?"
- Yeah.
106
00:11:38,158 --> 00:11:40,035
Splendidly.
107
00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:42,705
Remember...
108
00:11:42,913 --> 00:11:45,499
...it's not too late for you, Ted.
109
00:11:52,047 --> 00:11:53,549
For either of you.
110
00:11:54,675 --> 00:11:56,719
For all four of you.
111
00:12:04,935 --> 00:12:06,562
Fresh fudge.
112
00:12:07,813 --> 00:12:09,231
Hi, Oatsie.
113
00:12:11,108 --> 00:12:12,401
Darling.
114
00:12:14,111 --> 00:12:15,863
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Missy.
115
00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:18,824
Hey, Missy.
I mean, Mom.
116
00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:27,208
I can't believe Missy
divorced your dad...
117
00:12:27,416 --> 00:12:29,043
...and married mine.
118
00:12:30,044 --> 00:12:31,587
Shut up, Ted.
119
00:12:37,051 --> 00:12:40,095
- Your dad looks bad.
- I know.
120
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:43,224
What's next?
121
00:12:43,432 --> 00:12:48,312
- Maybe she'll marry you.
- Then you'll be your own stepdad.
122
00:12:54,109 --> 00:12:57,696
You probably noticed we haven't
given you our gifts yet.
123
00:12:57,905 --> 00:12:59,615
That's because...
124
00:13:05,287 --> 00:13:08,290
That's because we wanted to say...
125
00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:17,967
Excuse us, dude.
126
00:13:27,601 --> 00:13:29,228
I wrote this myself.
127
00:13:29,436 --> 00:13:31,522
I wrote this last night.
128
00:13:36,694 --> 00:13:37,695
"Elizabeth..."
129
00:13:37,903 --> 00:13:38,904
"Joanna...
130
00:13:40,656 --> 00:13:44,118
...as I wander through this dark
and Ionely forest of life..."
131
00:13:44,326 --> 00:13:46,662
"...surrounded by various beasts..."
132
00:13:46,871 --> 00:13:49,957
"...bears, vipers, squirrels..."
133
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:52,668
"Not to mention barnacles
and algae..."
134
00:13:53,544 --> 00:13:56,964
"...man-of-wars, starfish,
blowfish, catfish..."
135
00:13:57,506 --> 00:13:59,341
Oh, no, that's freshwater.
136
00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:04,555
The point is, I know we promised you
a better life than this.
137
00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:10,853
What I mean to say is, I realize
when we took you out of England...
138
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:14,481
...we said the future held
some really good stuff.
139
00:14:14,690 --> 00:14:17,860
Although stuff hasn't
worked out how we thought...
140
00:14:18,527 --> 00:14:21,488
...it will, we hope.
141
00:14:23,032 --> 00:14:25,576
The day after tomorrow,
if things work out...
142
00:14:26,285 --> 00:14:28,370
What this is about is...
143
00:14:36,378 --> 00:14:38,088
- Will you...?
- Marry us?
144
00:14:45,054 --> 00:14:46,847
- Theodore...
- I'd love to.
145
00:15:28,222 --> 00:15:32,977
- Aim for the cat, dude!
- I'm trying, Evil Ted! I'm trying!
146
00:15:37,773 --> 00:15:39,525
Aw, just missed!
147
00:15:49,702 --> 00:15:53,956
- Not bad.
- Yeah, let's make it bad.
148
00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:06,594
We're here, dude.
149
00:16:07,636 --> 00:16:08,929
Is Rufus with you?
150
00:16:10,264 --> 00:16:11,307
One second.
151
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:26,906
Looks like we lost him in the
circuits of time, duder.
152
00:16:27,114 --> 00:16:30,451
Good.
Then he's gone forever.
153
00:16:30,618 --> 00:16:34,038
Our first act of business:
154
00:16:34,246 --> 00:16:37,458
Destroy that ridiculous,
insipid band!
155
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,960
You got it, dude!
156
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:42,129
Get to work.
157
00:16:44,131 --> 00:16:45,090
Now!
158
00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:47,009
Study these books well.
159
00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:49,803
When my mission is completed...
160
00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:52,765
...this will be the new history.
161
00:16:54,225 --> 00:16:55,726
What a shithead.
162
00:16:59,813 --> 00:17:02,775
- Bye!
- Bye!
163
00:17:03,943 --> 00:17:05,444
Drive safe!
164
00:17:06,946 --> 00:17:07,947
- Dude.
- What?
165
00:17:08,155 --> 00:17:11,617
After we're married,
will the girls stay with us?
166
00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:14,745
Yeah, our girlfriends are
most chaste.
167
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,958
- At least they're not dating our dads.
- Good point, dude.
168
00:17:24,255 --> 00:17:26,841
- Hello?
- This is Joanna.
169
00:17:27,049 --> 00:17:30,094
Joanna! How'd you call so fast?
170
00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:32,388
It's not important. This is:
171
00:17:32,638 --> 00:17:36,892
Elizabeth and I have decided
we're quitting Wyld Stallyns.
172
00:17:37,059 --> 00:17:38,060
What?
173
00:17:38,269 --> 00:17:39,436
- Yes!
- Why?
174
00:17:39,645 --> 00:17:42,606
You're losers and
we don't want to see you again.
175
00:17:42,773 --> 00:17:43,774
No way!
176
00:17:43,941 --> 00:17:49,947
We're going to the desert to be alone.
It's over. Goodbye.
177
00:17:56,954 --> 00:18:01,667
- I totally fooled them.
- Yeah, they're completely brilliant.
178
00:18:01,876 --> 00:18:02,918
Not!
179
00:18:04,044 --> 00:18:06,964
- Let's start phase two.
- Station.
180
00:18:35,117 --> 00:18:37,828
An incredible fortune in stones.
181
00:18:39,413 --> 00:18:42,416
Yet I'd trade them all
for a hand phaser.
182
00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:46,003
Or a good solid club.
183
00:18:46,921 --> 00:18:50,424
Maybe we should've proposed
to them sooner.
184
00:18:52,384 --> 00:18:54,386
How could we, Ted?
185
00:18:54,595 --> 00:18:57,097
We could barely afford
our own apartment.
186
00:18:57,806 --> 00:19:01,644
This is most non-non-heinous.
187
00:19:02,186 --> 00:19:05,356
- What are we gonna do?
- We gotta find them.
188
00:19:05,606 --> 00:19:06,815
Talk to them.
189
00:19:07,775 --> 00:19:08,734
But how?
190
00:19:28,295 --> 00:19:30,506
Who could that be?
191
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,099
How's it going, Bill and Ted?
192
00:19:40,474 --> 00:19:42,893
Ted, it's us again.
193
00:19:43,686 --> 00:19:46,814
- How's it going, Bill?
- Not bad, Bill. And you?
194
00:19:46,939 --> 00:19:47,982
Bad.
195
00:19:49,108 --> 00:19:54,071
We came to help in your most
unfortunate situation.
196
00:20:02,037 --> 00:20:03,080
How?
197
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,374
Come with us. We'll show you.
198
00:20:07,585 --> 00:20:08,961
Excuse us.
199
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:15,718
- I got a weird feeling here.
- Why?
200
00:20:16,260 --> 00:20:17,553
I don't know.
201
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:21,432
How do we know they're really us?
202
00:20:25,853 --> 00:20:27,813
We've been through this before.
203
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:30,816
Without the intervention
of our future selves...
204
00:20:30,983 --> 00:20:34,904
...would we have passed history?
Or met the babes?
205
00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:38,991
Or had a most excellent adventure
through time?
206
00:20:43,579 --> 00:20:48,000
Ted, if you're really me,
how many fingers am I gonna hold up?
207
00:20:48,209 --> 00:20:49,210
Three.
208
00:20:51,712 --> 00:20:53,464
You're right!
209
00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,176
Let's go, guys.
We'll drive.
210
00:21:03,182 --> 00:21:04,683
- Ted.
- What?
211
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:09,688
I think we're about to embark
on an unprecedented expedition.
212
00:21:11,774 --> 00:21:13,275
- Dude.
- What?
213
00:21:14,652 --> 00:21:17,613
I got a full-on robot chubby.
214
00:21:18,572 --> 00:21:19,990
Later, Evil Ted.
215
00:21:20,491 --> 00:21:21,742
Later.
216
00:21:36,423 --> 00:21:37,716
I'm cold.
217
00:21:40,177 --> 00:21:42,930
Hey! Can we have some heat back here?
218
00:21:43,138 --> 00:21:44,640
Shut up, Bill.
219
00:21:46,976 --> 00:21:49,186
That other you's a real jerk.
220
00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:55,192
I'll be more considerate to myself
when I become him.
221
00:21:55,401 --> 00:21:57,486
He said, shut your holes!
222
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:02,491
I got a very bad feeling.
223
00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:37,693
Out.
224
00:22:45,201 --> 00:22:48,704
So where are Joanna and Elizabeth?
225
00:22:49,121 --> 00:22:50,664
They're not here.
226
00:22:50,831 --> 00:22:55,085
We lied. Here's the truth,
we're gonna kill you now.
227
00:22:56,295 --> 00:22:58,214
- No way!
- Yes way, Ted.
228
00:22:58,714 --> 00:23:02,968
- We're programmed to do it.
- And we want to do it too.
229
00:23:03,719 --> 00:23:05,638
You dick, Bill!
230
00:23:09,934 --> 00:23:13,896
- You're metal, dude!
- I know. Check it out.
231
00:23:24,198 --> 00:23:25,199
Let's go.
232
00:23:25,908 --> 00:23:27,409
Bogus.
233
00:24:03,654 --> 00:24:05,114
We gotta do something.
234
00:24:05,698 --> 00:24:09,285
Dudes, even though
you're doing this...
235
00:24:09,493 --> 00:24:12,872
...we, we...
236
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,623
We love you.
237
00:24:14,874 --> 00:24:16,584
We love you.
238
00:24:18,836 --> 00:24:20,254
Fags!
239
00:24:25,384 --> 00:24:28,596
Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
240
00:24:46,155 --> 00:24:50,201
Yes! I totally loogied on that
good dead me!
241
00:24:51,744 --> 00:24:55,289
- We're fully, full-on evil robots.
- Yeah!
242
00:25:00,294 --> 00:25:03,005
- You wanna take the van?
- No, it's beat.
243
00:25:05,674 --> 00:25:06,884
There's a Porsche.
244
00:25:08,886 --> 00:25:09,970
Let's bag it.
245
00:25:11,805 --> 00:25:13,307
Station.
246
00:25:51,846 --> 00:25:52,847
Bill...
247
00:25:54,390 --> 00:25:55,766
...what happened?
248
00:25:57,434 --> 00:25:58,394
Ted...
249
00:25:59,728 --> 00:26:01,730
...we're dead, dude.
250
00:26:04,942 --> 00:26:08,737
- No way.
- Yes way.
251
00:26:08,946 --> 00:26:10,364
Look.
252
00:26:17,037 --> 00:26:18,789
Now what?
253
00:26:22,710 --> 00:26:24,044
Who's that?
254
00:26:34,471 --> 00:26:36,265
Who are you?
255
00:26:36,932 --> 00:26:37,975
Ted...
256
00:26:39,059 --> 00:26:41,687
...it's the Grim Reaper, dude.
257
00:26:44,481 --> 00:26:46,275
How's it hanging, Death?
258
00:26:47,234 --> 00:26:49,904
You will come with me.
259
00:26:52,907 --> 00:26:56,118
We can't.
We gotta get back to the babes.
260
00:26:56,327 --> 00:26:58,787
Ted, we can't. We're dead, dude.
261
00:26:58,996 --> 00:27:02,583
We gotta stop these evil "usses."
We gotta try.
262
00:27:04,543 --> 00:27:07,755
Excuse us, dude,
but is there any way back?
263
00:27:10,174 --> 00:27:13,177
You may challenge me to a contest.
264
00:27:13,719 --> 00:27:15,387
But if you lose...
265
00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:19,141
...you will remain here
in the afterlife...
266
00:27:19,642 --> 00:27:21,101
...forever.
267
00:27:25,773 --> 00:27:27,900
What if we win?
268
00:27:28,984 --> 00:27:32,655
No one has ever won.
269
00:27:33,906 --> 00:27:37,409
- Dude, we gotta ditch this guy.
- Definitely.
270
00:27:37,952 --> 00:27:39,078
But how?
271
00:27:41,789 --> 00:27:44,291
Melvin.
272
00:27:47,628 --> 00:27:50,130
Excuse us, dude...
273
00:27:50,297 --> 00:27:52,967
...but your shoes are untied.
274
00:28:03,394 --> 00:28:06,647
I can't believe
we just melvined Death.
275
00:28:09,233 --> 00:28:11,944
Let's hope he doesn't
catch up with us.
276
00:28:53,194 --> 00:28:54,653
No way!
277
00:28:58,157 --> 00:28:59,241
This isn't funny.
278
00:28:59,450 --> 00:29:00,951
Way to go, Joanna!
279
00:29:01,202 --> 00:29:03,871
I don't understand
what's come over you two.
280
00:29:04,079 --> 00:29:08,000
You see, we used to be puss-weeds,
but now we're metal.
281
00:29:08,209 --> 00:29:10,586
So get over here and put out!
282
00:29:12,213 --> 00:29:15,382
You can forget
about us playing tonight.
283
00:29:16,258 --> 00:29:17,259
Fine.
284
00:29:23,015 --> 00:29:25,267
Then I guess that's that.
285
00:29:27,394 --> 00:29:29,480
Yeah, see you.
286
00:29:42,076 --> 00:29:44,161
Catch you later, babes!
287
00:29:53,671 --> 00:29:55,881
Ted, I have an idea.
288
00:29:56,090 --> 00:29:58,968
Tonight after we make
De Nomolos' speech...
289
00:29:59,718 --> 00:30:01,720
...let's waste them.
290
00:30:02,429 --> 00:30:06,725
Station. Meanwhile, let's trash
this lame rathole.
291
00:30:06,934 --> 00:30:08,394
Stellar, Evil Ted!
292
00:30:14,984 --> 00:30:19,572
- Ted, we have got to stop them.
- Yeah. But how?
293
00:30:23,951 --> 00:30:25,327
I hope this works.
294
00:30:25,494 --> 00:30:28,956
It worked in The Exorcist.
I and III!
295
00:30:34,086 --> 00:30:39,258
You'll move downtown so DeLoach
can take her maternity leave.
296
00:30:39,466 --> 00:30:42,720
Also, anyone interested
in moonlighting...
297
00:30:42,928 --> 00:30:46,390
...we're stepping up security
for the Battle of the Bands.
298
00:30:46,599 --> 00:30:49,894
I hear your son's band is playing.
299
00:30:52,438 --> 00:30:56,692
Thanks for reminding me, sergeant.
Also, Scott Frank...
300
00:30:57,026 --> 00:31:01,405
- So, how do we do this?
- I don't know.
301
00:31:02,823 --> 00:31:04,867
Why don't you try something?
302
00:31:06,076 --> 00:31:07,203
Okay.
303
00:31:24,803 --> 00:31:26,889
Okay, dudes.
304
00:31:27,890 --> 00:31:29,934
I mean, fellow policemen...
305
00:31:30,476 --> 00:31:33,145
...my son, Ted "Theodore" Logan...
306
00:31:33,354 --> 00:31:35,940
...and his friend
Bill Preston, Esquire...
307
00:31:36,148 --> 00:31:40,611
...have been murdered and replaced
by evil robots from the future.
308
00:31:40,778 --> 00:31:42,530
You totally did it, dude!
309
00:31:42,696 --> 00:31:44,657
I totally possessed my dad.
310
00:31:49,787 --> 00:31:50,955
Okay.
311
00:31:51,705 --> 00:31:56,752
You have to arrest these robots
so they don't ruin everything for us.
312
00:31:57,002 --> 00:31:59,547
I mean, my son and Bill.
313
00:32:00,089 --> 00:32:04,426
And, most importantly,
they don't hurt the babes.
314
00:32:05,511 --> 00:32:07,054
The princesses.
315
00:32:09,515 --> 00:32:10,641
This isn't working.
316
00:32:10,850 --> 00:32:13,477
- Back me up, dude.
- You got it, dude.
317
00:32:25,573 --> 00:32:28,284
I totally believe you, dude.
318
00:32:30,828 --> 00:32:34,248
- Doughnuts!
- Excellent!
319
00:32:34,415 --> 00:32:36,083
Savory cruller.
320
00:32:36,709 --> 00:32:40,212
- I got really hungry being dead.
- Yeah!
321
00:32:42,214 --> 00:32:44,675
I don't think they believe us.
322
00:32:45,634 --> 00:32:48,554
We have to find someone who will.
323
00:32:49,388 --> 00:32:52,057
Catch you later, cop dudes!
324
00:32:58,189 --> 00:33:01,400
Ted, we can't go like this.
325
00:33:13,037 --> 00:33:15,039
Thanks, Dad.
326
00:33:17,041 --> 00:33:20,794
- Good morning.
- Sergeant.
327
00:33:26,133 --> 00:33:27,343
Gandhi.
328
00:33:29,178 --> 00:33:30,971
Anne Boleyn.
329
00:33:31,972 --> 00:33:33,516
Aristotle.
330
00:33:34,225 --> 00:33:37,061
President Chester A. Arthur.
331
00:33:38,521 --> 00:33:40,356
Clark Gable.
332
00:33:41,065 --> 00:33:42,650
Charlemagne.
333
00:33:43,150 --> 00:33:46,070
And I would like to contact Ty Cobb.
334
00:33:52,117 --> 00:33:55,412
- Has this s๏ฟฝance stuff ever worked?
- No.
335
00:33:56,956 --> 00:33:59,250
But it will today, dude.
336
00:34:06,757 --> 00:34:09,927
O great spirits
from the netherworld...
337
00:34:10,094 --> 00:34:14,056
...leave your celestial
abode and speak upon us...
338
00:34:14,265 --> 00:34:17,476
...with your life lessons.
339
00:34:28,154 --> 00:34:30,489
I feel the spirits have arrived!
340
00:34:30,656 --> 00:34:32,575
How's it going...
341
00:34:32,783 --> 00:34:35,661
...New Age dudes?
342
00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:39,373
Spirits, can you hear me?
343
00:34:42,459 --> 00:34:44,753
And we can see down your...
344
00:34:44,962 --> 00:34:47,798
It's your mom, dude!
345
00:34:49,633 --> 00:34:52,803
You're right! Move over, dude.
346
00:34:54,054 --> 00:34:57,266
Spirits, what have you to say to us?
347
00:34:58,434 --> 00:35:02,146
The princesses are in trouble.
348
00:35:03,147 --> 00:35:06,775
Ted and his most
excellent friend Bill...
349
00:35:06,984 --> 00:35:08,736
...were killed!
350
00:35:10,237 --> 00:35:13,866
- Listen to us.
- Beware!
351
00:35:18,454 --> 00:35:20,789
O evil spirits from Hell...
352
00:35:20,998 --> 00:35:24,168
...I send you back into the darkness!
353
00:35:27,546 --> 00:35:31,967
- What's she doing?
- I don't know, but it's not good.
354
00:35:35,554 --> 00:35:37,097
No way!
355
00:36:33,654 --> 00:36:36,448
This is a totally deep hole.
356
00:36:39,702 --> 00:36:42,872
- Now what?
- I don't know.
357
00:36:56,677 --> 00:37:01,182
- You wanna play 20 Questions?
- Okay. I got one.
358
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,184
Are you a mineral?
359
00:37:05,811 --> 00:37:07,646
Are you a tank?
360
00:37:09,023 --> 00:37:10,316
Good one!
361
00:37:14,361 --> 00:37:17,531
- Not bad!
- Can we do it again?
362
00:37:18,491 --> 00:37:22,953
I'm working as hard as I can!
363
00:37:23,204 --> 00:37:25,164
No way!
364
00:37:29,168 --> 00:37:33,130
This is not what I expected
this place to look like.
365
00:37:33,422 --> 00:37:37,218
We got totally lied to
by our album covers, man.
366
00:37:49,939 --> 00:37:51,524
Who's that?
367
00:37:51,899 --> 00:37:55,277
Ted, who do you think it is, dude?
368
00:38:00,032 --> 00:38:02,117
How do we get his attention?
369
00:38:03,035 --> 00:38:04,787
Sign of the devil, dude!
370
00:38:05,371 --> 00:38:09,250
- Hey, Devil dude!
- Down here!
371
00:38:09,416 --> 00:38:11,669
Down here, dude!
372
00:38:11,877 --> 00:38:14,713
Two little guys!
373
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,966
Big dude! Down here!
374
00:38:29,687 --> 00:38:31,564
I kind of like this.
375
00:38:33,607 --> 00:38:35,317
Excellent!
376
00:38:37,319 --> 00:38:39,238
Let's get out of here.
377
00:38:45,077 --> 00:38:49,373
Ted, if I die, you can have
my Megadeth collection.
378
00:38:49,540 --> 00:38:52,001
But, dude, we're already dead!
379
00:38:53,294 --> 00:38:57,381
- Well, then they're yours, dude.
- Whoa! Thanks, dude.
380
00:39:18,152 --> 00:39:20,321
How's it going, Beelzebub?
381
00:39:22,406 --> 00:39:24,742
Okay. Can we go now?
382
00:39:25,534 --> 00:39:28,037
You may go.
383
00:39:32,041 --> 00:39:33,584
Thanks, dude!
384
00:39:33,792 --> 00:39:38,547
You know, you got a bad rap,
but you're actually an okay dude!
385
00:39:52,353 --> 00:39:55,689
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
386
00:39:57,316 --> 00:40:00,319
Maybe we should try
one of these tunnels.
387
00:40:08,202 --> 00:40:10,830
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
388
00:40:11,622 --> 00:40:14,291
Maybe we should try
one of these doors.
389
00:40:19,755 --> 00:40:21,715
After you, dude.
390
00:40:29,723 --> 00:40:31,475
Now where are we?
391
00:40:34,728 --> 00:40:35,813
Who's that?
392
00:40:40,609 --> 00:40:41,902
It's Colonel Oats!
393
00:40:42,611 --> 00:40:44,238
No way!
394
00:40:44,613 --> 00:40:46,323
Gentlemen!
395
00:40:48,242 --> 00:40:51,036
Welcome to Hell.
396
00:40:51,287 --> 00:40:53,747
- No way.
- What?!
397
00:40:53,914 --> 00:40:55,541
No way, sir?
398
00:40:55,708 --> 00:40:57,543
You two...
399
00:40:58,669 --> 00:41:02,256
...will do whatever
I tell you to do...
400
00:41:02,506 --> 00:41:05,384
...from now on.
401
00:41:05,593 --> 00:41:07,928
Is that clear?
402
00:41:09,013 --> 00:41:12,308
- Yes, sir, dude!
- What?!
403
00:41:12,892 --> 00:41:15,811
- Yes, dude, sir!
- What?!
404
00:41:16,395 --> 00:41:18,230
Yes, sir, sir dude!
405
00:41:18,397 --> 00:41:21,233
Get down and give me...
406
00:41:21,442 --> 00:41:23,611
...infinity.
407
00:41:26,822 --> 00:41:31,118
Stupid, pathetic,
craven little cretins.
408
00:41:32,286 --> 00:41:37,583
- I can't possibly do infinity pushups!
- Pitiful little morons.
409
00:41:37,917 --> 00:41:40,503
- Maybe we can do girls' style.
- Jokers!
410
00:41:40,711 --> 00:41:45,174
You petty, base, bully,
bullock, bugger billies.
411
00:41:45,341 --> 00:41:49,136
You're not strong! You're silky boys!
412
00:41:49,637 --> 00:41:53,807
Silk comes from the butts
of Chinese worms.
413
00:41:53,974 --> 00:41:59,230
- We gotta get out of here.
- I'll eat you up like butter cakes.
414
00:41:59,438 --> 00:42:01,857
Get back here!
415
00:42:05,736 --> 00:42:07,404
- Dude.
- What?
416
00:42:07,655 --> 00:42:10,366
I think we're in
our own personal hell.
417
00:42:10,533 --> 00:42:14,662
- Let's split up.
- That way he can't get us so bad.
418
00:42:35,057 --> 00:42:37,017
What happened?
419
00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:05,796
Bogus!
420
00:43:33,157 --> 00:43:37,828
Granny S. Preston, Esquire.
421
00:43:38,078 --> 00:43:39,538
No way.
422
00:43:49,924 --> 00:43:50,966
Theodore!
423
00:43:53,052 --> 00:43:54,970
You made your brother cry.
424
00:43:55,721 --> 00:43:57,139
How about...
425
00:43:57,556 --> 00:43:59,183
...a kiss...
426
00:43:59,767 --> 00:44:04,313
...for your dear old granny, Bill?
427
00:44:11,237 --> 00:44:12,613
Come along.
428
00:44:20,454 --> 00:44:23,290
You stole Deacon's Easter basket.
429
00:44:23,499 --> 00:44:27,002
No way. This was 10 years ago!
430
00:44:35,886 --> 00:44:36,887
Come here!
431
00:44:41,642 --> 00:44:45,521
That was non, non, non...
Non-heinous!
432
00:44:45,729 --> 00:44:47,064
Choose...
433
00:44:47,273 --> 00:44:48,524
...your...
434
00:44:48,732 --> 00:44:50,818
...eternity.
435
00:44:54,238 --> 00:44:57,533
Choose your own, you fag!
436
00:45:06,333 --> 00:45:11,172
You ugly, red source of all evil!
437
00:45:18,137 --> 00:45:20,848
Hello, girls.
438
00:45:30,483 --> 00:45:31,650
- Dude.
- What?
439
00:45:31,775 --> 00:45:33,986
- Hell sucks!
- Definitely!
440
00:45:34,195 --> 00:45:38,908
- You no-nosed salamanders!
- Deac's Easter basket!
441
00:45:42,578 --> 00:45:43,913
Come to Oatsie!
442
00:45:48,375 --> 00:45:50,544
I want one right on the lips!
443
00:45:51,837 --> 00:45:57,134
- There's only one way out!
- Right. We gotta play the Reaper!
444
00:46:03,807 --> 00:46:06,393
Choose your game.
445
00:46:06,894 --> 00:46:09,146
But if you lose...
446
00:46:09,396 --> 00:46:12,066
...you will stay here in Hell...
447
00:46:12,858 --> 00:46:14,610
...forever.
448
00:46:31,418 --> 00:46:33,796
D-1.
449
00:46:38,425 --> 00:46:39,426
Miss.
450
00:46:48,602 --> 00:46:49,937
B...
451
00:46:50,187 --> 00:46:51,355
...3.
452
00:46:52,773 --> 00:46:54,483
Miss.
453
00:46:56,235 --> 00:46:58,863
C-6.
454
00:47:03,284 --> 00:47:04,451
Hit.
455
00:47:08,330 --> 00:47:11,125
- Dude...
- I know.
456
00:47:17,923 --> 00:47:20,259
J-7.
457
00:47:21,343 --> 00:47:23,429
J-7...
458
00:47:25,014 --> 00:47:26,015
Hit.
459
00:47:27,808 --> 00:47:31,812
A hit. You have sunk my battleship.
460
00:47:32,521 --> 00:47:33,564
Excellent!
461
00:47:35,983 --> 00:47:39,153
- I knew he put it in the J's.
- Good thinking.
462
00:47:39,361 --> 00:47:41,363
You must play me again.
463
00:47:41,989 --> 00:47:46,035
- What?!
- Best two out of three.
464
00:47:46,243 --> 00:47:47,453
No way!
465
00:47:51,332 --> 00:47:53,209
Yes way.
466
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,928
- What's he doing?
- I don't know.
467
00:48:14,647 --> 00:48:16,774
I believe...
468
00:48:16,941 --> 00:48:21,070
...Col. Mustard did it
in the study with the candlestick.
469
00:48:29,370 --> 00:48:32,623
Sorry, Death. You lose.
It was Professor Plum.
470
00:48:32,832 --> 00:48:36,836
- I said "Plum."
- No way. You said "Mustard!"
471
00:48:37,044 --> 00:48:38,379
Can we go back now?
472
00:48:40,756 --> 00:48:42,424
Best three out of five.
473
00:48:43,551 --> 00:48:45,845
I don't believe this guy.
474
00:48:57,773 --> 00:49:00,276
- Best of seven?
- Damn right!
475
00:49:05,156 --> 00:49:07,158
Right hand, green.
476
00:49:12,037 --> 00:49:14,081
Left hand, red.
477
00:49:18,419 --> 00:49:20,588
Right foot, green.
478
00:49:21,255 --> 00:49:22,715
Right foot...
479
00:49:49,074 --> 00:49:50,242
Well?
480
00:49:55,414 --> 00:49:56,832
I will...
481
00:49:58,709 --> 00:50:00,294
...take you back.
482
00:50:07,551 --> 00:50:12,306
- You played very well.
- Especially with your heavy robes.
483
00:50:12,515 --> 00:50:14,308
Don't patronize me.
484
00:50:14,517 --> 00:50:18,771
Whatever. You got a lot
to learn about sportsmanship.
485
00:50:19,897 --> 00:50:21,398
This way.
486
00:50:22,525 --> 00:50:24,401
Now we can save the babes.
487
00:50:24,610 --> 00:50:28,656
But, Bill, how will we fight
those other usses?
488
00:50:28,864 --> 00:50:32,910
They're totally stronger than us.
And way smarter.
489
00:50:33,118 --> 00:50:36,038
Plus, they already killed us once.
490
00:50:37,540 --> 00:50:39,333
One minute, duder!
491
00:50:39,708 --> 00:50:45,005
If we were good human usses and we had
to fight two evil robot usses...
492
00:50:45,214 --> 00:50:48,759
...what would we do?
- Make good robot usses?
493
00:50:48,968 --> 00:50:51,470
Good thinking, dude!
494
00:50:51,846 --> 00:50:52,888
Excuse us.
495
00:50:53,222 --> 00:50:55,933
- Excuse me, Death?
- Oh, now what?
496
00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:59,436
Could you take us to someone
who could help us?
497
00:50:59,645 --> 00:51:03,065
You have beaten me.
I am at your command.
498
00:51:03,315 --> 00:51:04,567
Cool!
499
00:51:04,733 --> 00:51:06,402
This way.
500
00:51:07,945 --> 00:51:09,697
- Ted.
- What?
501
00:51:09,905 --> 00:51:11,907
Don't fear the Reaper.
502
00:51:12,950 --> 00:51:14,952
I heard that.
503
00:51:27,464 --> 00:51:30,301
This is most atypical.
504
00:51:54,825 --> 00:51:56,494
Welcome to Heaven.
505
00:51:58,746 --> 00:52:00,706
I'm sure I'll enjoy it.
506
00:52:01,373 --> 00:52:02,666
Thank you.
507
00:52:04,835 --> 00:52:06,045
Through there.
508
00:52:06,253 --> 00:52:07,880
Welcome to Heaven.
509
00:52:09,089 --> 00:52:11,133
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
510
00:52:12,510 --> 00:52:17,056
"Only the most serene and enlightened
souls shall gain audience."
511
00:52:17,264 --> 00:52:19,308
Dude, we're in big trouble.
512
00:52:21,769 --> 00:52:23,813
I think I have an idea.
513
00:52:32,780 --> 00:52:34,490
Wise dudes.
514
00:52:34,824 --> 00:52:36,867
Can we ask you a question?
515
00:52:37,451 --> 00:52:39,286
Right this way, please.
516
00:52:50,047 --> 00:52:53,676
We're in Heaven,
and we just mugged three people.
517
00:52:53,884 --> 00:52:57,137
We better leave
before we ruin it for everybody.
518
00:53:00,099 --> 00:53:01,976
Come on, Death.
519
00:53:02,852 --> 00:53:04,854
You look great, dude.
520
00:53:06,147 --> 00:53:07,731
You think so?
521
00:53:12,736 --> 00:53:14,238
You do.
522
00:53:17,158 --> 00:53:18,826
Shut up.
523
00:53:19,869 --> 00:53:22,413
- Come on, dude.
- It's not funny.
524
00:53:23,205 --> 00:53:25,583
I can't believe I'm doing this.
525
00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:28,794
How did I end up in this situation?
526
00:53:48,439 --> 00:53:49,648
How's it going?
527
00:53:51,275 --> 00:53:53,277
What is the meaning of life?
528
00:54:03,412 --> 00:54:07,500
Every rose has its thorn
529
00:54:07,750 --> 00:54:11,837
Just like every night has its dawn
530
00:54:12,046 --> 00:54:15,049
Just like every cowboy
531
00:54:15,216 --> 00:54:19,470
Sings a sad, sad song
532
00:54:24,475 --> 00:54:27,686
Every rose has a thorn
533
00:54:30,105 --> 00:54:31,565
Don't I know you?
534
00:54:33,317 --> 00:54:34,527
No.
535
00:55:16,652 --> 00:55:20,406
So, God, as if you didn't know...
536
00:55:20,990 --> 00:55:25,578
...we're not the three wise people
you might have thought we were.
537
00:55:25,786 --> 00:55:30,166
We mugged three people and took
their clothes. Sorry.
538
00:55:30,374 --> 00:55:34,003
- I'm Bill S. Preston.
- I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan.
539
00:55:34,211 --> 00:55:38,883
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
540
00:55:40,718 --> 00:55:43,345
This lovely lady is the Grim Reaper.
541
00:55:43,554 --> 00:55:46,807
He brought us when we
challenged him and won.
542
00:55:49,185 --> 00:55:54,231
First, congratulations on Earth!
It's a most excellent planet.
543
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:59,320
- We enjoy it on a daily basis.
- Not to mention your other planets.
544
00:55:59,528 --> 00:56:03,491
Mars, Jupiter, Uranus.
545
00:56:05,951 --> 00:56:09,580
But the point is, we died.
546
00:56:09,788 --> 00:56:12,249
Most unfairly.
547
00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:15,461
But we won the chance to come back.
548
00:56:15,669 --> 00:56:19,507
We gotta construct something
to save the women we love.
549
00:56:20,174 --> 00:56:23,719
And there's not a lot of time.
So we were wondering...
550
00:56:23,969 --> 00:56:27,431
...could you help us
find somebody to help us?
551
00:56:28,182 --> 00:56:30,601
Station.
552
00:56:31,060 --> 00:56:33,729
We were thinking along the lines...
553
00:56:33,896 --> 00:56:37,191
...of maybe a scientist or something.
554
00:56:50,704 --> 00:56:52,081
Cool.
555
00:56:55,334 --> 00:56:57,127
Thanks, God.
556
00:56:57,419 --> 00:57:01,257
Yeah. You're a just and noble creator.
557
00:57:02,591 --> 00:57:06,136
- We'll be going now.
- Keep up the good work.
558
00:57:06,345 --> 00:57:08,389
Catch you later, God.
559
00:57:18,691 --> 00:57:22,528
Sorry. They melvined me.
560
00:57:28,367 --> 00:57:31,412
All right, upside-down cake!
561
00:57:31,579 --> 00:57:34,373
- Hey, Evil Ted.
- What?
562
00:57:39,628 --> 00:57:41,422
We're out of dishes.
563
00:57:42,923 --> 00:57:44,884
Check this out.
564
00:57:48,262 --> 00:57:50,806
Not bad, E.T.
565
00:57:52,975 --> 00:57:54,226
Let me try.
566
00:58:01,150 --> 00:58:03,694
You totally didn't see the fan.
567
00:58:08,782 --> 00:58:12,036
Tell my body to get over here
and get me!
568
00:58:12,495 --> 00:58:15,414
That's all right. I'll get you.
569
00:58:16,999 --> 00:58:19,460
Got your head, dude.
570
00:58:22,254 --> 00:58:25,007
I'm totally gonna tackle you, dude.
571
00:58:28,302 --> 00:58:33,140
- Touchdown for Evil Ted!
- We're total headbangers.
572
00:58:36,393 --> 00:58:39,730
Come on. There you go.
573
00:58:45,653 --> 00:58:49,573
Stop wasting time.
Proceed with the plan now.
574
00:58:49,824 --> 00:58:51,534
Okay, dude.
575
00:58:52,493 --> 00:58:55,871
What do you say
we trash their relationships?
576
00:58:58,541 --> 00:59:00,125
I hate them.
577
00:59:00,334 --> 00:59:03,504
I hate the robot versions of them.
578
00:59:03,963 --> 00:59:05,881
You made us, dude.
579
00:59:13,013 --> 00:59:15,391
Looks like this is the place.
580
00:59:15,641 --> 00:59:18,519
Now all we gotta do
is find that scientist.
581
00:59:19,603 --> 00:59:23,149
- What kind of name is Station?
- I don't know.
582
00:59:23,357 --> 00:59:25,734
Must be some kind of future guy.
583
00:59:31,407 --> 00:59:33,409
Okay, how many syllables?
584
00:59:35,578 --> 00:59:37,872
Is it a play or a song or...?
585
00:59:40,124 --> 00:59:41,542
It's something big.
586
00:59:43,169 --> 00:59:45,421
My money's on Einstein.
587
00:59:48,174 --> 00:59:49,717
That's Station?
588
00:59:50,551 --> 00:59:53,888
Did you assume
the most brilliant scientist...
589
00:59:54,054 --> 00:59:57,850
...in the universe
would be from Earth?
590
00:59:58,934 --> 01:00:00,352
Yeah.
591
01:00:05,316 --> 01:00:06,942
Movies?
592
01:00:07,902 --> 01:00:10,279
- Nine words.
- Good, Mr. Franklin.
593
01:00:10,488 --> 01:00:12,823
Fire? Cigarettes?
594
01:00:13,032 --> 01:00:15,659
- Clouds, clouds.
- Smoke?
595
01:00:16,785 --> 01:00:20,039
Butch and Sundance: The Early Years.
596
01:00:25,961 --> 01:00:29,298
- Death!
- Sorry.
597
01:00:32,635 --> 01:00:35,638
Smokey and the Bandit III.
598
01:00:35,846 --> 01:00:38,682
Smokey is the bandit!
599
01:00:48,067 --> 01:00:50,903
Excuse us. Martians?
600
01:00:51,570 --> 01:00:54,949
First, my friend,
Bill and I congratulate you...
601
01:00:55,157 --> 01:00:58,244
...on a well-played round of charades.
602
01:00:58,452 --> 01:01:00,704
You've been referred to us...
603
01:01:00,913 --> 01:01:04,750
...as the most brilliant scientists
in the universe.
604
01:01:06,377 --> 01:01:09,380
Would you help us build
good robot usses...
605
01:01:09,588 --> 01:01:13,467
...to save two princesses
from bad robot usses?
606
01:01:22,893 --> 01:01:25,146
Sounds good, Station.
607
01:01:28,816 --> 01:01:30,651
Let's rock, Death.
608
01:01:59,054 --> 01:02:01,807
- We're alive.
- Yeah.
609
01:02:01,974 --> 01:02:06,479
But I think a buzzard
was pecking at my head.
610
01:02:12,151 --> 01:02:14,612
Dinner's over, worm-dude.
611
01:02:18,324 --> 01:02:20,117
You guys okay?
612
01:02:21,619 --> 01:02:23,496
Where's Death?
613
01:02:32,588 --> 01:02:34,006
You okay, dude?
614
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:39,762
I'm fine.
615
01:02:46,769 --> 01:02:50,189
First, we go back to town
and clean up.
616
01:02:50,397 --> 01:02:52,733
Second, we warn the princesses.
617
01:02:52,900 --> 01:02:56,821
Third, we buy stuff
to build good robot usses.
618
01:02:58,823 --> 01:03:00,533
Let's go.
619
01:03:03,577 --> 01:03:05,746
What? What?
620
01:03:20,511 --> 01:03:24,056
Here, kitty, kitty!
Here, kitty, kitty!
621
01:03:24,306 --> 01:03:25,975
There's one, dude!
622
01:03:27,810 --> 01:03:29,728
Just missed, dude.
623
01:03:30,604 --> 01:03:32,898
Dude, we're there.
624
01:03:33,107 --> 01:03:34,817
Okay. I got an idea.
625
01:03:56,255 --> 01:03:58,591
How's it going, lady humans?
626
01:04:27,328 --> 01:04:30,414
Okay, this is Builders Emporium...
627
01:04:30,581 --> 01:04:34,502
...a repository for electronics
and robot materials.
628
01:04:34,710 --> 01:04:38,214
Get what you need to make metal usses.
629
01:04:42,009 --> 01:04:46,180
- Ready for the big night?
- No! We're not going.
630
01:04:48,891 --> 01:04:51,977
I think you guys
should stop right there.
631
01:04:53,103 --> 01:04:55,481
Catch you later, future wife.
632
01:04:57,858 --> 01:04:59,485
Evil breath!
633
01:04:59,777 --> 01:05:00,778
Who are you?
634
01:05:00,986 --> 01:05:03,113
Well, you see...
635
01:05:15,167 --> 01:05:16,502
Come on.
636
01:05:18,420 --> 01:05:22,174
- Any luck?
- They're not at our place or theirs.
637
01:05:22,341 --> 01:05:26,846
I'll try your dad's.
Maybe they went to talk to Missy.
638
01:05:35,813 --> 01:05:37,314
Logan residence.
639
01:05:37,523 --> 01:05:40,860
Evil Bill S. Preston,
Esquire, speaking.
640
01:05:43,445 --> 01:05:46,866
It's them! They're back from the dead.
641
01:05:47,074 --> 01:05:49,285
We get to kill them again.
642
01:05:49,493 --> 01:05:50,744
Excellent!
643
01:06:06,635 --> 01:06:08,971
See you real soon.
644
01:06:12,850 --> 01:06:16,145
- But this time we're ready for you!
- Yeah!
645
01:06:19,773 --> 01:06:22,234
We can be ready for them too.
646
01:06:22,443 --> 01:06:25,488
Good luck getting
in the concert, losers!
647
01:06:32,161 --> 01:06:35,831
- Initiate the final plan.
- You got it, great one.
648
01:06:37,458 --> 01:06:39,919
Do not fail me.
649
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:42,546
Metallic buffoons.
650
01:06:48,594 --> 01:06:51,764
- That other me is a dick.
- Yeah.
651
01:06:53,849 --> 01:06:56,811
I hope the Stations
know what they're doing.
652
01:07:16,288 --> 01:07:18,749
Station! What are you doing?
653
01:07:20,918 --> 01:07:24,755
Dudes! This is no time
to be playing games!
654
01:09:44,812 --> 01:09:46,856
That one's me, right?
655
01:09:50,234 --> 01:09:51,986
Not bad.
656
01:09:52,194 --> 01:09:54,738
How's it going, Good Robot Bill?
657
01:09:55,614 --> 01:09:57,449
How's it doing?
658
01:10:09,420 --> 01:10:11,297
Kate Axelrod for KJM...
659
01:10:11,505 --> 01:10:15,426
... reporting live from
the San Dimas Auditorium.
660
01:10:15,634 --> 01:10:18,721
We're rocking at
the Battle of the Bands.
661
01:10:18,929 --> 01:10:22,349
So stay tuned and hold tight
until we find out...
662
01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:25,811
... who will be your winner.
663
01:10:35,905 --> 01:10:37,281
Ready? You're up.
664
01:10:37,490 --> 01:10:38,908
Where are the girls?
665
01:10:39,116 --> 01:10:43,496
- Hanging from the rafters.
- We'll kill them at the finale.
666
01:10:44,330 --> 01:10:46,332
Good luck, gentlemen.
667
01:10:53,047 --> 01:10:54,548
Check it out.
668
01:10:56,634 --> 01:10:58,010
Not bad.
669
01:11:23,619 --> 01:11:26,956
Let's hear it for Primus!
670
01:12:04,618 --> 01:12:07,246
- Are they ready?
- Station.
671
01:12:07,413 --> 01:12:09,290
Excellent work, dude.
672
01:12:09,456 --> 01:12:13,544
- What about me? I made the wigs.
- Okay, Death.
673
01:12:13,794 --> 01:12:17,089
I helped do the shopping.
I pushed the cart.
674
01:12:17,214 --> 01:12:20,509
- Do they work like we asked?
- Station.
675
01:12:23,929 --> 01:12:27,057
You're a most excellent scientist.
676
01:12:27,766 --> 01:12:31,353
Plus, you got an excellently huge
Martian butt.
677
01:12:36,859 --> 01:12:40,446
Feel free to split
in two parts again and relax.
678
01:12:40,613 --> 01:12:44,950
Don't overlook my butt.
I work out all the time.
679
01:12:45,159 --> 01:12:48,245
And reaping burns a lot of calories.
680
01:12:52,791 --> 01:12:57,755
Ready to take on those evil usses
and save the babes?
681
01:12:59,381 --> 01:13:03,385
Fight evil usses. Save the babes.
682
01:13:03,552 --> 01:13:06,347
- Ready, Bill?
- Ready, Ted.
683
01:13:07,598 --> 01:13:09,475
Let's go get 'em.
684
01:13:09,683 --> 01:13:12,436
And now, the last band of the evening.
685
01:13:12,645 --> 01:13:15,397
Wyld Stallyns!
686
01:13:26,116 --> 01:13:28,494
How's it going, worms?
687
01:13:28,994 --> 01:13:31,705
I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
688
01:13:31,956 --> 01:13:34,583
And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
689
01:13:34,792 --> 01:13:39,547
Together, we are Wyld Stallyns!
690
01:13:41,090 --> 01:13:43,217
Hold it right there!
691
01:13:46,345 --> 01:13:48,597
We're Wyld Stallyns!
692
01:13:48,848 --> 01:13:52,726
No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns!
693
01:13:55,354 --> 01:13:59,400
You totally killed us,
you evil metal dickweeds!
694
01:13:59,650 --> 01:14:02,236
Yeah, and we're gonna do it again!
695
01:14:02,444 --> 01:14:06,240
Plus, we're gonna totally
kill your girlfriends.
696
01:14:14,373 --> 01:14:17,793
Don't worry, babes! We'll save you.
697
01:14:20,462 --> 01:14:24,008
Everybody, say hello
to Station's creation!
698
01:14:24,300 --> 01:14:27,261
Good Robot Bill and Ted!
699
01:14:40,733 --> 01:14:42,776
We may have met our match.
700
01:14:43,068 --> 01:14:46,155
Kudos to you, good human usses.
701
01:14:47,990 --> 01:14:52,453
- Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
- Catch you later, Bill and Ted!
702
01:15:28,823 --> 01:15:31,116
- Elizabeth!
- Theodore!
703
01:15:31,617 --> 01:15:34,495
- Joanna!
- William!
704
01:15:47,508 --> 01:15:49,301
Who is that?
705
01:16:06,902 --> 01:16:07,987
Who are you?
706
01:16:09,155 --> 01:16:10,865
Who am I?
707
01:16:17,788 --> 01:16:20,499
I am De Nomolos.
708
01:16:21,542 --> 01:16:23,502
I am their master.
709
01:16:25,087 --> 01:16:28,507
And I must see to it that you die.
710
01:16:31,218 --> 01:16:32,928
But first...
711
01:16:58,329 --> 01:17:03,417
We are now transmitting on every
channel throughout the world.
712
01:17:03,918 --> 01:17:05,836
My word!
713
01:17:10,341 --> 01:17:13,552
I want the whole universe
to behold this...
714
01:17:13,761 --> 01:17:16,430
... transfer of power.
715
01:17:17,848 --> 01:17:20,893
No longer will our future society...
716
01:17:21,101 --> 01:17:24,271
... be based on
the ideas and the music...
717
01:17:24,522 --> 01:17:27,024
... of these two fools!
718
01:17:29,568 --> 01:17:32,571
They will be based on my ideas...
719
01:17:34,532 --> 01:17:36,992
...and my ideas alone!
720
01:17:38,369 --> 01:17:41,372
How do we get out of this?
There's no time.
721
01:17:41,497 --> 01:17:45,292
We do. After we get away
from this guy...
722
01:17:45,459 --> 01:17:50,548
...we time-travel back and set up
the things we need to get him now.
723
01:17:50,756 --> 01:17:52,675
Yeah, like what?
724
01:17:53,300 --> 01:17:55,344
Like a sandbag.
725
01:18:01,225 --> 01:18:02,560
Excellent!
726
01:18:02,768 --> 01:18:04,895
Then we'll get a cage.
727
01:18:12,361 --> 01:18:13,946
My friends.
728
01:18:14,613 --> 01:18:17,032
I too can play the time game.
729
01:18:17,241 --> 01:18:20,536
If you do that,
once I have vanquished you...
730
01:18:20,786 --> 01:18:24,832
...I'll go back and set up this key.
731
01:18:35,301 --> 01:18:38,053
And another gun.
732
01:18:47,813 --> 01:18:51,734
Right. Only there's one thing
you didn't think of.
733
01:18:51,942 --> 01:18:55,112
Only the winners can go back
and set things up.
734
01:18:55,321 --> 01:18:57,323
And that's gonna be us.
735
01:18:57,531 --> 01:19:01,577
We set up the key,
and we set up the gun.
736
01:19:04,163 --> 01:19:06,165
Excuse me.
737
01:19:06,373 --> 01:19:09,335
Your shoelaces are untied.
738
01:19:16,133 --> 01:19:17,426
Melvined.
739
01:19:31,357 --> 01:19:32,900
You're under arrest.
740
01:19:33,067 --> 01:19:34,819
Way to go, Dad!
741
01:19:39,657 --> 01:19:41,534
Book him, Danno.
742
01:19:48,541 --> 01:19:50,167
Good job, Death.
743
01:19:55,422 --> 01:19:57,174
Who was that guy?
744
01:19:57,341 --> 01:20:00,469
I can answer that question.
745
01:20:00,803 --> 01:20:03,097
Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help.
746
01:20:03,764 --> 01:20:05,808
We definitely...
747
01:20:06,517 --> 01:20:08,519
Take it off, baby!
748
01:20:17,027 --> 01:20:18,571
Rufus!
749
01:20:18,779 --> 01:20:20,114
When did you get here?
750
01:20:20,447 --> 01:20:22,658
Just in time for your audition.
751
01:20:22,992 --> 01:20:26,328
So you were Ms. Wardroe all along.
752
01:20:27,246 --> 01:20:30,207
Would anyone else have let you
in this contest?
753
01:20:34,211 --> 01:20:37,506
That was Chuck De Nomolos,
my old gym teacher.
754
01:20:37,673 --> 01:20:42,178
And, by the way, sit-up champion
of the 27th century.
755
01:20:42,386 --> 01:20:46,891
And now, gentlemen, I believe
the stage belongs to you.
756
01:20:47,057 --> 01:20:48,476
Thanks, Rufus.
757
01:21:01,614 --> 01:21:04,200
Dude, we still don't know how to play.
758
01:21:04,700 --> 01:21:06,869
Maybe we ought to get good.
759
01:21:07,119 --> 01:21:08,329
How?
760
01:21:30,601 --> 01:21:34,772
That was a fast 16 months
of intensive guitar training.
761
01:21:35,981 --> 01:21:39,193
Except for the two-week
medieval honeymoon.
762
01:21:41,153 --> 01:21:43,614
Hello, San Dimas!
763
01:21:44,907 --> 01:21:47,284
Let me introduce you
to a little friend.
764
01:21:47,576 --> 01:21:49,245
This is little Ted.
765
01:21:49,787 --> 01:21:52,206
Hello, little Ted!
766
01:21:52,414 --> 01:21:54,291
This is little Bill.
767
01:21:57,837 --> 01:22:01,006
Now for the rest of our band.
768
01:22:04,218 --> 01:22:09,014
On conga and bongos, proof that
you can't tell a book by its cover...
769
01:22:09,223 --> 01:22:11,934
...the dude who can make one word
mean anything...
770
01:22:12,143 --> 01:22:14,061
...Station!
771
01:22:19,150 --> 01:22:20,734
Our backup dancers...
772
01:22:20,901 --> 01:22:23,612
...Station's most bodacious
creations...
773
01:22:23,779 --> 01:22:26,615
...the Good Robot Usses!
774
01:22:32,997 --> 01:22:34,165
And over here...
775
01:22:34,373 --> 01:22:37,334
...our bass player,
the Duke of Spooks...
776
01:22:37,543 --> 01:22:40,296
...the Doc of Shocks,
the Man With No Tan...
777
01:22:40,504 --> 01:22:43,340
...please say hello
to Death himself...
778
01:22:43,591 --> 01:22:45,384
...the Grim Reaper!
779
01:22:53,184 --> 01:22:55,811
You might be a king
Or a little street sweeper
780
01:22:55,978 --> 01:22:59,398
But sooner or later
You dance with the Reaper
781
01:23:04,278 --> 01:23:06,906
Get down with your bad self!
782
01:23:13,496 --> 01:23:16,165
I love show business.
783
01:23:17,374 --> 01:23:19,168
Ladies and gentlemen...
784
01:23:19,835 --> 01:23:21,879
...we've been to the past.
785
01:23:22,254 --> 01:23:24,089
We've been to the future.
786
01:23:24,507 --> 01:23:26,926
We've been all around the afterlife.
787
01:23:27,468 --> 01:23:28,928
And you know...
788
01:23:31,013 --> 01:23:33,015
The best place to be...
789
01:23:35,935 --> 01:23:37,311
...is here.
790
01:23:38,354 --> 01:23:40,314
And the best time to be...
791
01:23:40,773 --> 01:23:42,233
...is now.
792
01:23:48,072 --> 01:23:50,825
And all we can say is...
793
01:23:52,785 --> 01:23:54,036
...let's rock!
794
01:23:55,246 --> 01:23:56,789
One! Two!
795
01:23:56,997 --> 01:23:59,750
One, two, three, four!
796
01:25:24,168 --> 01:25:27,004
Right good! Right good!
797
01:27:59,532 --> 01:28:01,534
You are go, Stallyn!
798
01:28:02,535 --> 01:28:04,829
Come home soon. We'll miss you.
55314
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof