Original subtitles

♪ LA DA DEE DEE LA DA DEE DEE DEE DEE ♪

♪ SOO LA TROO LA PEEP LA TA TEE RASS ♪

♪ DA DA DEE DA DEE DEE DEE DOO ♪

DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?

PIPE DOWN.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

GET THAT CUSTOMER, HATTIE.

IF THAT'S FOR ME, I'M IN.

♪ THE TELEPHONE, IT RINGS ♪

♪ AND IT SINGS TRA LA ♪

HELLO?

IS IT FOR ME?

I DON'T KNOW. MISS JUDY?

♪ MISS JUDY ♪

IT'S YOURS, JUDY.

HUH? OH.

HELLO. HELLO, HAGS.

LOOK WHAT MOTHER SENT ME FROM LOUISIANA.

WHAT ARE THEY?

PECANS.

PECANS? HMM. LET'S OPEN ONE.

MAYBE THERE'S A CHECK IN IT.

Judy: WELL, I HAD A DATE,

BUT I GUESS I CAN GET OUT OF IT.

SURE, I'LL GET A GIRL.

WHO? WHERE IS SHE?

OH. NOT YOU.

COME ON, TAKE THEM OFF.

ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME?

YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID.

TAKE OFF THOSE STOCKINGS OR I WILL

AND TAKE A LITTLE OF YOUR HIDE ALONG WITH THEM. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

COME ON, GET 'EM OFF. BUT THEY'RE MY STOCKINGS.

THEY ARE NOT. IF YOU THINK

I'M GOING TO GIVE UP MY LUNCH

TO BUY YOU STOCKINGS, YOU'RE CRAZY.

WELL, YOU OWE ME A PAIR ANYWAY.

OH, MRS. ORCUTT, LINDA'S DOING A STRIPTEASE!

YOU CAN GET A BIGGER CROWD ON THE STREET.

WHY DON'T YOU SPLIT THEM? A STOCKING APIECE.

FROM NOW ON, YOU WEAR YOUR OWN STOCKINGS OR GO BARELEGGED.

THE PLACES YOU GO,

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE ANYHOW.

WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?

ARE YOU RUNNING A THEATRICAL BOARDINGHOUSE

GIRLS! OR A GYMNASIUM?

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

SHE ACCUSED ME OF STEALING MY OWN STOCKINGS.

SHE'S SWIPED HER LAST PAIR OF STOCKINGS FROM ME.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO RUN A RESPECTABLE HOUSE--

YOU'RE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN WITH THE PEOPLE YOU'VE GOT.

I WON'T BE INSULTED BY THIS LITTLE GUTTERSNIPE ANY LONGER!

I'LL GUTTERSNIPE YOU!

I WILL NOT HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT

GOING ON IN MY HOUSE!

I WISH YOU GIRLS WOULD FIND SOME WAY

TO SETTLE YOUR DIFFERENCES.

I'LL SLAP HER EARS

FLAT AGAINST THE BACK OF HER HEAD.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.

WELL, COME ON DOWN HERE.

I WOULDN'T ROOM WITH HER ANY LONGER IF YOU PAID ME.

GOOD! THAT'S THE BEST NEWS I'VE HAD

IN THE PAST YEAR.

I'M MOVING IN WITH MADELINE RIGHT AWAY.

IT SHOULDN'T TAKE YOU VERY LONG.

EVERYTHING YOU OWN IS ON YOUR BACK.

SHE'S DOWN, SHE'S UP, SHE'S DOWN.

WHEN THIS BARROOM BRAWL IS OVER--

WHEN I GET BACK IN MY ROOM,

YOU'RE THE ONLY THING I WANT TO FIND MISSING.

HELLO! A RIOT? HEAVENS, NO!

AT THE FOOTLIGHTS CLUB?

NOTHING EXCITING EVER HAPPENS HERE.

8:00? YOU BETCHA. GOOD-BYE.

I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.

DO YOU WANT A DATE?

HUH?

I SAID, DO YOU WANT A DATE?

WITH SOME MORE OF THOSE LUMBERMEN?

AM I SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE

FOR BEING BORN IN SEATTLE?

WELL, THE LAST COUPLE WE WENT STEPPING WITH

WERE MADE OF LUMBER, ESPECIALLY THEIR FEET.

ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN STAY HERE

AND GORGE YOURSELF ON LAMB STEW AGAIN.

HEY, PAT, WANT A DATE?

WAIT A MINUTE. IS IT FOR DINNER?

YES.

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO BEFORE YOU SPOKE?

THAT LAMB STEW

HAS GOT ME COUNTING SHEEP AT NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT SO PARTICULAR

ABOUT MY FRIENDS WHEN IT'S FOR DINNER.

WELL, THEY CAN'T STEP ON YOU

WHEN YOU'RE SITTING DOWN.

AND YOU MIGHT TRY

BEING JUST A LITTLE LESS INSULTING THIS TIME.

ME, INSULTING TO A LUMBERMAN?

WHY, THE VERY IDEA IS PREPOSTEROUS!

DO WE DRESS?

I SUPPOSE SO. WE USUALLY DO.

WELL, I'LL BE THERE, MY PET.

YOU KNOW ME--

THE LUMBERMAN'S DELIGHT. [CLICKS TONGUE] AHEM.

MR. POWELL'S CAR IS WAITING FOR MISS SHAW.

I'LL TELL HER.

THANK YOU.

[HUMMING]

IS THAT FOR LINDA? MR. POWELL'S CAR.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE. I'LL BE THE CARRIER PIGEON.

OH, LINDA! MR. POWELL'S CAR IS HERE!

MR. POWELL ISN'T HERE! JUST HIS CAR!

PEACEFUL LITTLE HAVEN WE HAVE HERE.

COULD ANYBODY USE

A COUPLE OF TIRED TYROLEAN PEASANTS?

I'LL TAKE A COUPLE ON TOAST.

I'LL TAKE MINE DRY.

HOW WAS THE MATINEE?

VERY INTIMATE. WE HAD 100 PEOPLE ON THE STAGE

AND 50 IN THE AUDIENCE.

WELL, YOU HAD 'EM OUTNUMBERED.

THE WHOLE THING MAKES ME SICK.

WHAT'S GERTA SICK ABOUT?

5 WEEKS' REHEARSAL AND 2 WEEKS' PAY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, IS THE SHOW CLOSING?

LIKE A TIRED CLAM.

THAT'S A SHAME.

AW, THAT'S TOO BAD.

WELL, LET'S ALL GO ON RELIEF AND GET IT OVER WITH.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

MICE.

Woman: HOW DO YOU GET IN HERE?

YOU MIGHT BLAST!

WHAT?

WE DON'T WANT ANY FISH!

GO AROUND TO THE OTHER DOOR!

CAN'T YOU READ?

DID YOU HEAR THAT? ANOTHER SHOW FOLDING.

YES, AND IF THEY KEEP ON CLOSING,

WE CAN MOVE RIGHT INTO THE STOREHOUSE

WITH THE SCENERY.

[DOORBELL RINGS] YOU SAID IT.

HATTIE, THE MICE ARE BACK.

DON'T GO AWAY, TAXI.

HOW MANY DOORS ARE THERE TO THIS PLACE?

WELL, THERE'S THE TRAPDOOR, THE HUMIDOR, AND THE CUSPIDOR.

HOW MANY DOORS WOULD YOU LIKE?

[LAUGHTER]

I ONLY ASKED A CIVIL QUESTION.

DID YOU WISH TO SEE MRS. ORCUTT?

I WANT TO SEE WHOEVER I HAVE TO SEE

ABOUT ACCOMMODATIONS.

WHICH KEEPER'S ON DUTY TODAY, HATTIE?

[LAUGHTER]

EVIDENTLY, YOU'RE A VERY AMUSING PERSON.

WELL, IF YOU'LL SIT OVER THERE,

I'LL GET MRS. ORCUTT. SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN.

THANK YOU. THANKS.

IF YOU YOUNG LADIES WILL PARDON ME,

I SHALL TAKE THE WOLFHOUNDS

FOR A STROLL THROUGH THE PARK.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, NEED I REMIND YOU

THAT MR. POWELL'S CAR AWAITS WITHOUT?

MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE A LITTLE LOUDER NEXT TIME,

EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE COULD HEAR YOU.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I FORGET THAT YOU'RE OLD AND DEAF.

IF YOU WERE A LITTLE MORE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR ELDERS,

MAYBE MR. POWELL WOULD SEND HIS CAR FOR YOU SOMEDAY.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT.

OF COURSE, HE WOULD PROBABLY TAKE ONE LOOK AT YOU

AND SEND YOU RIGHT BACK AGAIN,

BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO EXPECT THAT. OH, IS THAT SO?

DO YOU KNOW, I THINK I COULD FIX YOU UP WITH MR. POWELL'S CHAUFFEUR.

THE CHAUFFEUR HAS A VERY NICE CAR, TOO.

YES, BUT I UNDERSTAND MR. POWELL'S CHAUFFEUR

DOESN'T GO AS FAR IN HIS CAR AS MR. POWELL DOES.

EVEN A CHAUFFEUR HAS TO HAVE AN INCENTIVE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD KNOW.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR LAMB STEW AGAIN TONIGHT.

I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU

WHILE I'M DINING ON PHEASANT BORDELAISE.

BORDELAISE, NO LESS! OOH, GIRLS, LISTEN!

OR MAYBE IT'S CASSEROLE. I'M NOT QUITE CERTAIN.

BE SURE NOT TO EAT THE BONES

AND GIVE YOURSELF AWAY.

DID YOU WISH TO SEE ME?

THIS IS A THEATRICAL BOARDINGHOUSE, ISN'T IT?

IT'S CONSIDERED ONE OF THE FINEST BOARDINGHOUSES.

I WAS SOMEWHAT IN DOUBT FOR A MOMENT.

ARE YOU THE PERSON I SEE ABOUT ACCOMMODATIONS?

ACCOMMODATIONS? OH, YES, INDEED!

I HOPE YOU'LL PARDON MY APPEARANCE.

WE'VE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE IN THE KITCHEN.

I'LL JUST TRY AND SEE WHAT'S AVAILABLE.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

ANN AND MARY, THEY ROOM TOGETHER.

I'D LIKE A ROOM WITH A PRIVATE BATH.

[LAUGHTER] HA HA!

IS THERE ANYTHING STRANGE IN THAT REQUEST?

OH, YOU MUSTN'T MIND THE GIRLS.

THEY'RE JUST FULL OF FUN.

WE'RE LIKE ONE GREAT BIG FAMILY.

I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU JUST WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT I CAN PUT YOU IN A ROOM

WITH A VERY CHARMING GIRL, TEMPORARILY.

THAT IS, UNTIL WE GET A VACANCY.

MM-HMM. HOW EXPENSIVE ARE YOUR ROOMS?

THEY'RE $13 IF YOU SHARE A ROOM WITH A GIRL, IN ADVANCE.

THAT SEEMS RATHER HIGH.

ISN'T THERE SOME REDUCTION BY THE WEEK?

[LAUGHTER]

IT IS $13 A WEEK.

OH, MY MISTAKE.

THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE LUNCHEON.

THE MEALS GO WITH THE $13?

OH, YES, INDEED,

AND I MUST SAY WE HAVE A VERY LOVELY KITCHEN.

OH, I'M SORRY. I HAVEN'T ANY CHANGE.

OH, WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I EXPECT TO BE HERE QUITE A WHILE, ANYWAY.

WHAT SHALL I DO ABOUT MY BAGGAGE?

IT'S IN THE TAXI.

HATTIE! WILL YOU TELL FRANK TO GET MISS, UH...

RANDALL. TERRY RANDALL.

UH, RANDALL'S BAGGAGE OUT OF THE TAXI?

PARDON ME. MRS. ORCUTT,

HAS MR. HARGRAVES OF THE GUILD CALLED ME YET?

WHY, NO.

WELL, WHEN HE DOES CALL, TELL HIM I'VE READ HIS PLAY

AND I COULDN'T CONSIDER PLAYING IT.

IT'S FAR TOO TRIVIAL.

I COULDN'T CONSIDER P-- HOW DO YOU DO?

MISS LUTHER, THIS IS MISS RANDALL.

SHE'S GOING TO BE HERE WITH US FOR A WHILE.

OH, HOW NICE. ARE YOU IN THE THEATER?

NOT YET, BUT I HOPE TO BE.

OH, WELL, WITH PROPER COACHING,

THERE'S NO REASON TO DESPAIR. I--

IF YOU'LL JUST COME WITH ME.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

HERE ARE YOUR TRUNKS.

JUST TAKE THEM RIGHT UP TO MISS MAITLAND'S ROOM.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, THAT'S ONE OF THE FEATURES

OF THE FOOTLIGHTS CLUB.

IT'S THE CHAIR BERNHARDT SAT IN

WHEN SHE WAS REHEARSING QUEEN ELIZABETH OVER HERE.

I WAS IN THE COMPANY.

OH, YOU WERE AN ACTRESS?

MRS. ORCUTT'S PLAYED WITH ALL THE STARS.

SHE'S SUPPORTED ME IN LOTS OF MY SHOWS. HAVEN'T YOU, DEAR?

THAT'S BERNHARDT'S PICTURE, ISN'T IT?

THEY SAY SHE WAS WONDERFUL.

OH, SHE WAS VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD IN SOME THINGS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

ALTHOUGH IT ISN'T GENERALLY KNOWN,

BERNHARDT AND I HAD THE SAME COACH.

I THINK COACHING'S A WASTE OF TIME.

AFTER ALL, ACTING'S ONLY COMMON SENSE.

BUT THAT'S ALL A GOOD COACH APPLIES, IS COMMON SENSE.

IF I DON'T GET THE RIGHT PLAY SOON,

I MAY DO A LITTLE COACHING MYSELF.

WHAT IS THIS, ANOTHER BOAT DOCKING?

MRS. ORCUTT TOLD ME TO PUT THIS STUFF UP HERE.

YEAH, BUT THIS IS NOT THE STOREROOM.

YOU'LL LIKE THIS ROOM. REALLY YOU WILL.

JEAN, THIS IS YOUR NEW ROOMMATE.

MISS RANDALL, MISS MAITLAND.

WE'VE MET BEFORE, AFTER A FASHION.

JEAN'S A VERY LIVELY GIRL.

I'M QUITE SURE YOU'LL GET ON VERY WELL TOGETHER.

Terry: OH, I'M SURE OF THAT.

NOW, IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU WANT--

NO, NO. I'LL BE ALL RIGHT, I HOPE.

WHEN DOES YOUR BAGGAGE GET HERE?

I'M EXPECTING THE BULK OF IT

IN THE MORNING.

WE COULD LEAVE THE TRUNKS HERE AND SLEEP IN THE HALL.

THERE'S NO USE CROWDING THE TRUNKS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO

WHEN THE WOLFHOUNDS ARRIVE.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ANIMALS.

OH, NOT AT ALL.

I'VE ROOMED WITH A GREAT MANY OF THEM BEFORE.

YES. I CAN SEE THAT.

FRESH KILL?

YES. I TRAP THEM MYSELF.

DO YOU MIND IF I ASK A PERSONAL QUESTION?

ANOTHER ONE?

ARE THESE TRUNKS FULL OF BODIES?

JUST THOSE,

BUT I DON'T INTEND TO UNPACK THEM.

I WAS JUST THINKING IF THE ROOM GOT TOO CROWDED,

WE COULD LIVE IN THE TRUNKS.

YES. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

YOU DON'T MIND HELPING ME UNPACK?

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON.

YOU'RE NOT THE MAID, ARE YOU?

OH, THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

WHAT A LOVELY DRESS.

WHIPPED UP AT HOME BY LOVING HANDS, HUH?

EVERY STITCH.

DO YOU COOK, TOO?

NOTHING FANCY.

JUST PLAIN HOME COOKING.

I'LL BET YOU COULD BOIL A TERRIFIC PAN OF WATER.

I IMAGINE THAT HALF THAT BUREAU'S MINE.

YOU DON'T MIND IF I PUT THIS HERE, DO YOU?

WHY NOT? HELP SCARE THE MOTHS AWAY.

OOH, A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY?

HAPPENS TO BE MY GRANDFATHER.

GRANDFATHER?

WELL, THERE IS QUITE A FAMILY RESEMBLANCE,

ESPECIALLY AROUND THE WHISKERS.

THAT'S A FAIRLY INTELLIGENT OBSERVATION FOR YOU.

I MUST SAY, HE'S A FAIRLY GENEROUS OLD GUY,

AS GRANDFATHERS GO.

HE ALWAYS TREATED ME VERY WELL.

I SUPPOSE IF YOU'D HAD YOUR CHOICE,

YOU'D HAVE PICKED A MUCH YOUNGER GRANDFATHER.

I SEE THAT IN ADDITION TO YOUR OTHER CHARMS,

YOU HAVE THAT INSOLENCE

GENERATED BY AN INFERIOR UPBRINGING.

HMM. FANCY CLOTHES, FANCY LANGUAGE, AND EVERYTHING.

UNFORTUNATELY,

I LEARNED TO SPEAK ENGLISH CORRECTLY.

IT WON'T BE MUCH USE TO YOU HERE.

WE ALL TALK PIG LATIN.

AND I USE THE RIGHT KNIFE AND FORK.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

ALL YOU NEED IS THE KNIFE.

DO YOU MIND IF I HANG THESE THINGS HERE?

TEMPORARILY, OF COURSE.

I MUST TAKE MY BATH.

THAT MIGHT HELP.

AND REMEMBER--HALF THE WARDROBE IS YOURS,

AND IF ANYTHING OF MINE SHOULD GET IN THE WAY,

WELL, JUST TOSS IT OUT THE WINDOW.

[LAUGHING]

DID YOU GET A LOAD OF THAT HAT?

I EXPECTED A RABBIT TO JUMP OUT ANY MINUTE.

I THOUGHT OLD ORCUTT WOULD FALL OVER IN A FAINT

WHEN SHE HANDED HER THAT $50.

IF SHE HAD A $50 BILL, WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?

IT MUST HAVE BEEN COUNTERFEIT.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $50 BILL.

YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE'S AS PHONY AS THAT BILL.

I MUST HAVE MISSED SOME FUN.

I'LL SAY YOU DID. WHEN SHE ASKED

IF THE MEALS WENT WITH THE $13,

I THOUGHT I'D BUST A LIGAMENT.

MAYBE SHE'S A SOCIAL WORKER DOING A LITTLE SLUMMING.

SHE PICKED THE RIGHT PLACE.

SAY, SPEAKING OF SLUM, WHEN DO WE EAT?

WASH YOUR NECKS, CHILDREN.

THE LAMB'S ABOUT TO BE SACRIFICED.

I SHOULD WORRY. TONIGHT'S LUMBER NIGHT.

I WASHED MY NECK YESTERDAY.

SO DID I.

WELL, I REFUSE TO WASH MY NECK FOR LAMB STEW.

HERE'S KAYE!

HELLO.

ANY LUCK TODAY?

NO, BUT I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS.

I ACTUALLY SAW ONE MANAGER.

THE WHOLE TOWN'S UNDERWATER!

KAYE SAW A MANAGER!

WAS IT MUCH OF AN INTERVIEW?

IT WASN'T AN INTERVIEW. I JUST SAW HIM

AS HE RUSHED OUT OF HIS OFFICE.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU KNOW THERE IS SUCH AN ANIMAL.

WHAT'D HE LOOK LIKE?

LIKE ANY OTHER ANIMAL.

HE HAD ON PANTS, TIE, AND COLLAR--

DID HE HAVE HOOFS?

SMOKE COME OUT OF HIS NOSE?

THAT'S WHAT GETS IN YOUR EYES, SILLY.

DID HE SAY "MAMA" WHEN YOU SQUEEZED HIM?

I DIDN'T GET THAT CLOSE TO HIM.

YOU DIDN'T SEE A MANAGER, DEARIE.

WHAT YOU SAW WAS A MIRAGE.

COME AND GET IT!

[ALL SHOUTING]

WELL, COME ON, HENRY.

MOTHER'LL GET YOU

SOME OF THAT LOVELY LAMB STEW.

MAYBE THERE'S A MOUSE IN IT.

COMING, KAYE?

I'LL BE ALONG A LITTLE LATER.

AREN'T YOU HAVING DINNER?

OH, I'M NOT VERY HUNGRY.

YOU'VE BEEN AWFULLY BLUE LATELY, HAVEN'T YOU?

WELL, AFTER PLAYING A WHOLE SEASON

IN POWELL'S OUTER OFFICE,

HE MIGHT AT LEAST HAVE SAID HELLO.

IT GETS PRETTY DISCOURAGING ONCE IN A WHILE,

BUT I GUESS IT'S ALL IN THE GAME.

OH, MISS HAMILTON.

HELLO, MRS. ORCUTT.

I'M AFRAID I MUST--

I KNOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.

IF YOU COULD LET IT GO JUST A LITTLE LONGER--

YOU KNOW THE RULES OF THE HOUSE,

AND IT'S 3 WEEKS NOW.

I KNOW, BUT I'VE PRACTICALLY BEEN PROMISED A PART,

AND I'M NOT EATING ANY MEALS HERE.

YOU'RE PUTTING ME

IN A VERY EMBARRASSING POSITION.

I DON'T WANT TO BE INCONSIDERATE.

WELL, MAYBE I COULD GIVE YOU

A LITTLE MONEY ON ACCOUNT...

SAY, $10?

THAT'S SOMETHING.

THANKS AWFULLY.

HEY THERE, ELLA!

THAT'S STILL A COMMUNITY TUB, YOU KNOW.

Ella: I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE.

YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE A HALF-HOUR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, A TRAINED SEAL?

Ella: WHAT'D YOU SAY?

I SAID IF YOU WANT TO DROWN YOURSELF,

WHY DON'T YOU USE THE OCEAN?

HEY, KAYE!

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY HELLO TO ME?

HELLO, JEAN. I DIDN'T SEE YOU.

WELL, YOU CERTAINLY COULDN'T HELP BUT HEAR ME.

OH, DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME.

MY MIND'S BEEN WANDERING LATELY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OH, IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

LET'S SIT DOWN AND HAVE A GOOD CRY.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU CAN CRY ON MY SHOULDER.

I'M GOING TO GO BATHE ANYHOW.

THERE'S NO CASTING TODAY.

"LEAVE YOUR NAME AND TELEPHONE NUMBER,

"AND WE'LL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU LATER.

MR. POWELL ISN'T SEEING ANYONE UNTIL THE END OF THE WEEK."

LAST WEEK AND THE WEEK BEFORE AND THE WEEK BEFORE THAT.

WHERE DID I EVER GET THE IDEA THAT I WAS A GOOD ACTRESS?

SAY, WHO GOT ALL THOSE RAVE NOTICES A YEAR AGO?

YEAH, BUT THAT WAS A YEAR AGO.

OH, BOY, YOU DO SOUND GLOOMY.

OH, I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HANGING ON,

EXCEPT THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO

AND NO ONE I CAN GO BACK TO,

EXCEPT SOMEONE I'LL NEVER GO BACK TO.

LISTEN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK TO ANYBODY.

YOU'RE THE BEST ACTRESS IN THIS WHOLE CLUB.

SOMETHING GOOD'S BOUND TO BE COMING YOUR WAY.

OH, I HOPE SO,

BUT IT HAD BETTER BE SOON.

WELL, I DON'T MEAN TO BE BUTTING INTO

YOUR PRIVATE AFFAIRS,

BUT IF IT'S A MATTER OF A FEW BUCKS, I'D BE VERY--

OH, JEAN, I'VE GOT TO GET THAT PART

IN ENCHANTED APRIL. IT'S BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE.

IT'S ME. NO ONE ELSE CAN PLAY THAT PART.

IT BELONGS TO ME!

OH, JEAN, I'VE GOT TO GET THAT PART!

I'VE GOT TO.

AW, HONEY. AW, GEE, DON'T CRY.

THAT'S ALL THERE IS. THERE AIN'T NO MORE.

THAT'S WHAT I CALL A DINNER FIT FOR A KING.

IF YOU DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.

I'VE GOT MOST OF IT CAUGHT IN MY TEETH.

WELL, NOW I KNOW WHY SHEEPHERDERS GO CRAZY.

IT'S THE LAMB STEW.

IF THIS CAT OF YOURS

EVER TURNS UP MISSING AROUND DINNERTIME,

I'M EATING OUT THAT NIGHT.

SAY, I BET ORCHID'S HUSBAND DIED OF WOOL POISONING.

THE COFFEE TASTES LIKE IODINE.

THEY OUGHT TO SERVE BANDAGES WITH IT.

YEAH. IT WOULD MAKE A GOOD LINIMENT.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW INTERESTED I WAS

IN YOUR DISCUSSION OF TWELFTH NIGHT.

IT WAS SO INTELLIGENT.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I'M AFRAID THAT THE REST OF THE INMATES

DIDN'T SHARE YOUR ENTHUSIASM.

BARBARIANS.

THEY'VE HAD NO TRAINING, MY DEAR.

NO TRAINING.

WHY, WHEN I PLAYED IN TWELFTH NIGHT, EVEN THE--

OH, DID YOU PLAY IN TWELFTH NIGHT?

YES, I--

I'VE A FEW OF MY NOTICES HERE

IF YOU'D CARE TO SEE THEM.

I'D LOVE TO.

OH, HOW LUCKY. THEY'RE RIGHT ON TOP.

NOW, DON'T READ THEM ALL,

JUST THE BITS THAT ARE UNDERLINED.

AND THIS ONE'S FROM ATLANTIC CITY.

WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO GOSSIP, BUT THAT NEW GAL

SEEMS TO HAVE AN AWFUL CRUSH ON SHAKESPEARE.

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY GOT MARRIED.

OH, YOU'RE FOOLING. SHAKESPEARE'S DEAD.

NO!

WELL, IF HE'S THE SAME ONE

THAT WROTE HAMLET, HE IS.

NEVER HEARD OF IT.

WELL, CERTAINLY YOU MUST HAVE HEARD OF HAMLET.

WELL, I MEET SO MANY PEOPLE.

HANG ON TO YOUR CHAIRS, GIRLS.

WE'RE GOING TO GET ANOTHER LOAD OF SHAKESPEARE.

IS IT AGAINST THE RULES OF THE HOUSE

TO DISCUSS THE CLASSICS?

NO. GO RIGHT AHEAD.

I WON'T TAKE MY SLEEPING PILL TONIGHT.

IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU GIRLS TO KNOW

THAT ALL GREAT ACTRESSES KNEW THEIR SHAKESPEARE.

HOW ABOUT THEIR ONIONS?

I FAIL TO SEE WHAT ONIONS HAVE TO DO WITH SHAKESPEARE.

IF YOU'D LISTEN TO MISS RANDALL,

YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.

I LIKE AMOS 'N' ANDY.

IN MY DAY, WE WERE NOT ONLY ACTRESSES,

WE WERE TECHNICIANS.

WE LEARNT OUR TRADE FROM THE GROUND UP.

THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE--A TRADE!

I WANT TO BE A SWISS BELL RINGER.

I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY HANDS.

SIT ON THEM.

YOU'D GET FURTHER WITH YOUR FEET. THEY'RE BIGGER.

THE TROUBLE WITH YOU IS,

YOU'RE ALL TRYING TO BE COMICS.

DON'T YOU EVER TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY?

AFTER YOU'VE SAT AROUND FOR A YEAR

TRYING TO GET A JOB,

YOU WON'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY EITHER.

WELL, DO YOU HAVE TO JUST SIT AROUND

AND DO NOTHING ABOUT IT?

MAYBE IT'S IN THE BLOOD.

MY GRANDFATHER SAT AROUND TILL HE WAS 80.

WELL, MY GRANDFATHER DIDN'T,

AND IF HE AND A LOT OF OTHERS

HADN'T CROSSED THE COUNTRY IN A COVERED WAGON,

THERE'D STILL BE INDIANS LIVING IN WICHITA.

WHO DO YOU THINK'S LIVING THERE NOW?

YOU THINK YOU'RE FACING DIFFICULTIES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE MEN WHO CROSSED THE ROCKIES?

DID ANY OF THEM EVER TRY AND CRASH A MANAGER'S OFFICE?

NO, BUT IF THEY'D WANTED TO, I'M SURE THEY COULD HAVE,

AND I BET I CAN, TOO.

MAYBE SHE CAN GET THROUGH THE DOOR

WITH VANISHING CREAM.

COME ON. WE'LL BE LATE AGAIN.

WELL, THE EDELWEISS GIRLS MUST BE OFF.

IF WE'RE NOT ON THE STAGE BY 8:30,

THE ORCHESTRA GETS LONESOME.

♪ OH, WE ARE THE GIRLS OF THE EDELWEISS ♪

♪ WE AIN'T SO PRETTY, BUT WE'RE AWFUL NICE ♪

[YODELING]

[ALL YODELING]

OH, STOP IT!

CAN'T WE EVER HAVE ANY PEACE AROUND HERE?

QUIET! OLGA WANTS PEACE!

PEACE AT ANY PRICE!

WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE PEACE WITHOUT A WAR.

YOU SOUND VERY SUPERIOR.

WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE IN THE THEATER?

EVERYTHING BUT BURST OUT OF A PIE

AT A ROTARIAN BANQUET.

YOU ALL TALK AS THOUGH THE WORLD OWED YOU A LIVING.

MAYBE IF YOU TRIED TO DO SOMETHING FOR THE THEATER,

THE THEATER WOULD DO SOMETHING FOR YOU.

HA! WHAT THEATER?

IS THERE A THEATER?

I DON'T KNOW. HAS ANYBODY LOOKED UP THE SIDE STREETS LATELY?

IT DOESN'T SEEM TO ME THAT ANY OF YOU

TAKE YOUR WORK VERY SERIOUSLY.

WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, WE'RE ALL GIVING UP.

AT LEAST I'M GOING TO HAVE A TRY AT IT.

IF I CAN ACT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW IT.

IF I CAN'T, I WANT TO KNOW IT.

EVEN YOUR BEST FRIENDS WON'T TELL YOU.

IT'D BE A TERRIFIC INNOVATION IF YOU COULD GET YOUR MIND

TO STRETCH A LITTLE FURTHER THAN THE NEXT WISECRACK.

YOU KNOW, I TRIED THAT ONCE,

BUT IT DIDN'T SNAP BACK INTO PLACE.

MISS RANDALL'S RIGHT.

ALL YOU GIRLS WANT TRAINING.

IN MY DAY--

WHEN KNIGHTHOOD WAS IN FLOWER.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST READING ALOUD.

[DOORBELL RINGS] OH.

MISS CANFIELD.

WELL, WHO WILL WE PICK ON NOW?

DON'T PICK ON ME.

MISS JUDY!

DO I HEAR MALES?

MY LUMBER GENTLEMEN. NO CRACKS.

SORRY I'M LATE. I GOT STUCK IN TRAFFIC.

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. DUKENFIELD?

SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

YEAH. I MANAGE TO GET DOWN ONCE A YEAR.

MEET MR. MILBANK.

HOW DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO?

YOU KNOW, I'VE KNOWN THIS LITTLE GAL

SINCE SHE WAS THAT HIGH, IN PIGTAILS.

WELL, LET'S SKIP THAT.

YEAH. HA HA HA!

IN THOSE DAYS, NOBODY EVER THOUGHT

THAT PETE JONES' DAUGHTER WOULD BE AN ACTRESS.

WELL, THE ODDS ARE STILL THE SAME.

Both: YEAH. HA HA HA!

SAY, HAVE YOU GOT A FRIEND?

OH, I HAVE A CHARMING GIRL FOR YOU.

UH, HERE SHE IS NOW.

OH, JEAN, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET

A COUPLE OF FRIENDS OF MINE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY WERE DRESSING.

HA HA HA! DON'T START ANYTHING HERE.

I'LL RINSE YOUR BACK.

WHY DIDN'T THEY WEAR THEIR OVERALLS?

OH, DID SHE SAY THAT? CUT IT OUT.

UH, JEAN, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MR. DUKENFIELD

AND MR., UH, MR. MILSTREAM.

UH, MILBANK. WHAT'D I SAY?

MILSTREAM! HA HA HA!

HA HA. OH, I...I...

WHAT DO YOU DO, TEAR DOWN THE TREES

WITH YOUR BARE HANDS?

UH, I TOLD YOU SHE WAS A KICK.

YEAH. HA HA HA!

I LOVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

YES. I CAN TELL BY THE SIZE OF YOUR SHOES.

AIN'T SHE A CARD?

OH, YEAH! YEAH!

YOU COME FROM SEATTLE, TOO, DON'T YOU?

YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

OH, YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL A COLLEGE MAN.

WELL, I--

I GOT A TAXI WAITING OUTSIDE.

LET'S GET GOING.

IMAGINE THAT, JUDY! A TAXI!

I'LL BET YOU DRINK CHAMPAGNE OUT OF SLIPPERS AND EVERYTHING.

WELL, I NEVER HAVE, BUT--

LET'S GO TO CENTRAL PARK.

THERE ARE A LOT OF TREES THERE,

AND WE COULD ALL HANG BY OUR TAILS

AND EAT COCONUTS.

YOU'RE KILLING ME.

PLEASANT LITTLE FOURSOME.

I PREDICT A HATCHET MURDER

BEFORE THE NIGHT'S OVER.

[LAUGHING]

[DOOR OPENS]

HELLO.

HOW ARE ALL YOUR FOLKS?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

NEARLY EVERYTHING.

YOU'RE LIMPING.

AM I? OH, SO I AM.

DID YOU EVER DANCE

WITH ONE OF THOSE SEATTLE ROMEOS?

MAYBE. I DON'T REMEMBER.

WELL, IF YOU DID,

YOU'D REMEMBER IT, ALL RIGHT.

WHY DO YOU GO OUT WITH THEM?

I'LL BITE. WHY DO I?

THEY NOT ONLY JUMP ON YOU,

BUT THEY BORE YOU TO DEATH.

I KNOW HOW MANY CORDS OF WOOD THERE ARE IN A PINT

AND THAT A PINE TREE IS NOT DECIDUOUS,

BUT HAS ACIDOSIS OR SOMETHING,

THAT THE OREGON TIMBERLINE

IS RECEDING SO FAST,

IN ANOTHER 1,000 YEARS OR SO,

THE WHOLE STATE WILL BE PRACTICALLY BALD.

[LAUGHS]

WHAT AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS FOR?

OH, WHY NOT? WE'RE GOING TO SHARE THE SAME ROOM.

WHY NOT SHARE OUR TROUBLES?

WE STARTED OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.

LET'S STAY THAT WAY.

DON'T YOU EVER GET TIRED OF QUARRELING?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, CAN'T YOU TAKE IT?

OH, YES, I CAN TAKE IT, IF YOU WANT IT THAT WAY.

WOULD YOU MIND IF I ASKED YOU A VERY HUMBLE QUESTION?

IF YOU ASK IT IN ENGLISH.

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT AIR IN THIS ROOM?

WELL, IN THE SUMMERTIME,

WE DO WITHOUT IT ENTIRELY.

THIS TIME OF YEAR,

WE USUALLY OPEN THE WINDOWS.

OH.

THIS THING IS STUCK.

HEY, DON'T PULL IT DOWN FROM THE TOP!

WE'LL HAVE THE WHOLE UPPER FLOOR IN OUR LAPS.

[STREET NOISES]

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

[TRAIN BELL RINGING]

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THE SIGN?

JUST LEAVE IT THERE.

DON'T THOSE BLINKING LIGHTS KEEP YOU AWAKE?

THEY WILL IF YOU LIE THERE AND TRY TO OUTBLINK THEM.

WE USUALLY USE THESE.

WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS, PUT IT OVER MY EYES?

NO. YOU SWALLOW IT WITH A GLASS OF WATER.

THAT'S A VERY INGENIOUS IDEA. THANKS.

WELL, DON'T GET SENTIMENTAL.

DO YOU GO TO SLEEP RIGHT AWAY?

SURE. WHAT DO YOU GO TO BED FOR?

WELL, I THOUGHT WE MIGHT TALK.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH TALK FOR ONE EVENING.

I SUPPOSE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'M LIVING HERE.

MAYBE I AM.

WHY DON'T YOU SELL SOME OF THOSE CLOTHES

AND LIVE IN A DECENT PLACE?

ISN'T THIS A DECENT PLACE?

NO.

BESIDES, I'VE ALWAYS LONGED TO LIVE

IN AN ATMOSPHERE LIKE THIS.

MY PET, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ATMOSPHERE.

WAIT TILL ABOUT 5:00 IN THE MORNING

WHEN THOSE GARBAGE TRUCKS START AROUND.

HA HA!

SAY, AM I GETTING GOOD,

OR ARE YOU GETTING WEAK?

NO. THAT JUST STRUCK ME AS FUNNY.

WELL, IT ISN'T VERY FUNNY TO ME.

IF I HAD YOUR CLOTHES,

I'D SCRAM OUT OF HERE PLENTY FAST

AND LEAVE YOU HERE WITH YOUR ATMOSPHERE.

OH, NO, YOU WOULDN'T.

YOU BARK A LOT, BUT YOU DON'T BITE.

YOU WOULDN'T SELL OUT FOR A WARDROBE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT FOR YOU TO TALK.

YOU'VE GOT YOURS.

LINDA ISN'T DOING SO BAD, EITHER.

LINDA? OH, THE OTHER GIRL YOU FIGHT WITH.

WELL, ONE OF THEM. I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE YOU TWO GIRLS HAVE GOT THE RIGHT IDEA.

WHAT IDEA IS THAT?

STOP KIDDING.

OH, YOU MEAN HAVING A GRANDFATHER.

WELL, CALL HIM WHATEVER YOU LIKE.

WELL, IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,

I WOULDN'T HAVE A GRANDFATHER.

SAYS YOU.

WELL, WHO'S IN A BETTER POSITION TO GIVE ADVICE

THAN A WOMAN WHO ALLOWS HER GRANDFATHER

TO BUY HER CLOTHES?

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

I SAID, WHO'S IN A BETTER POSITION--

NEVER MIND. WRITE IT ON A PIECE OF PAPER

AND I'LL READ IT IN THE MORNING.

[TRAIN RUMBLING]

[PIANO PLAYING]

DOWN.

UP, 2, 3, 4.

SWING YOUR HEAD OVER THERE.

SNAP THE HEADS OVER THERE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY. GO TO HOME.

I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER CALL A TIME-OUT.

WE OUGHT TO GET HIM A WHIP.

GET ME A WHEELCHAIR.

LET'S RUN THROUGH OUR ROUTINE BEFORE OLGA GETS AWAY.

IF I'M GOING TO DANCE ANY MORE,

YOU'D BETTER DASH HOME

AND GET MY EXTRA PAIR OF LEGS.

WHY DON'T YOU QUIT RUNNING AROUND

WITH THOSE LUMBERJACKS AND GET SOME SLEEP?

SAY, OLGA, WILL YOU RUN THROUGH OUR ROUTINE

A COUPLE OF TIMES?

WHEN AM I GOING TO GET ANY TIME FOR MY CONCERT PRACTICE?

OH, BE A GOOD GIRL, OLGA, AND WHEN WE'RE FAMOUS,

WE'LL BUY YOU A LOLLIPOP.

OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

AND FOR THIS I STUDIED WITH KOLIJINSKY.

COME ON.

WELL, WELL, WELL. TONY POWELL. HOW ARE YOU?

HELLO, ALEX. HOW'S THE NEW SCHOOL?

OH, JUST FINE. GLAD YOU CAME UP.

NOT THINKING OF PUTTING ON A MUSICAL, ARE YOU?

OH, NO. I VERY LIKELY WON'T PRODUCE ANYTHING

UNLESS I CAN FIND AN ANGEL.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY FLYING AROUND HERE, HAVE YOU?

NO, NOT LATELY.

HIT IT, OLGA.

[PIANO PLAYING]

WHO'S THE LITTLE BLONDE?

OH, JUST ONE OF THE KIDS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HER?

NEVER MIND. I'LL INTRODUCE MYSELF.

LOOK WHO'S GIVING US THE ONCE-OVER.

Jean: WHERE?

OVER THERE.

WHO IS IT?

NOBODY BUT ANTHONY POWELL.

SO THAT'S LINDA'S SOUL MATE.

WHO'S HE STARING AT?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I HOPE IT'S ME.

YOU CAN HAVE HIM.

YOU GIRLS REHEARSING FOR A MUSICAL?

NO. WE'RE JUST GETTING OVER THE D.T.s.

HA HA HA!

NICE ROUTINE YOU'VE GOT THERE.

I HEAR YOURS ISN'T SO BAD, EITHER.

BUT WE HAVEN'T COME TO THE BEST PART OF IT YET.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

WELL, I THINK SHE'S KIND OF NERVOUS, YOU KNOW,

UH, MEETING A GREAT MAN LIKE YOU.

DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS, TOO?

WELL, A LITTLE.

OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T ADMIT THAT TO YOU.

YOU TWO KIDS EXPECT TO GO ON THE STAGE?

WELL, WE'RE JUST SORT OF HOOFING IT AROUND, YOU KNOW,

WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO DISCOVER US.

WELL, YOU'RE DISCOVERED.

WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY, REALLY.

IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE WAITING

FOR A NIGHTCLUB ENGAGEMENT.

SOMETHING LIKE THE GROTTO, YOU KNOW?

THE GROTTO. MM-HMM.

WELL, I THINK YOU'D BETTER BE EXCUSING ME.

I GUESS YOU ARE KIND OF MAKING ME A LITTLE NERVOUS.

HA HA! EXCUSE ME.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE

A CHEERFUL LETTER FROM HOME.

PA GOT LAID OFF.

MY SISTER'S HUSBAND HAS LEFT HER.

ONE OF MY BROTHERS SLUGGED A RAILROAD DETECTIVE.

I GUESS THAT'S ALL.

"LOTS OF LOVE, AND CAN YOU SPARE 50 BUCKS?"

HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT VEGETABLE SOUP TONIGHT?

IF IT'D BEEN A LITTLE THICKER,

IT WOULD HAVE MADE NICE HOT WATER.

YES, AND IF SHE TRIES TO SERVE IT AGAIN,

I'M GOING TO BRING A BAR OF SOAP TO THE TABLE

AND WASH OUT A FEW STOCKINGS.

SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN THAT MEAT LOAF

FROM THE SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTE.

I WONDER WHAT WAS IN IT.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

BY WAY OF VARIETY,

LET'S COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FOOD.

IF YOU WEREN'T SO SNOOTY,

YOU COULD HAVE HAD A DINNER DATE WITH ME TONIGHT.

YOU CAN HAVE MY SHARE OF THOSE TIMBERWOLVES.

THEY MAY BE TIMBERWOLVES TO YOU,

BUT TO ME, THEY'RE MEAT AND POTATOES.

DON'T YOU KNOW ANY YOUNGER MEN?

I'M TIRED OF BUYING DINNERS FOR YOUNGER MEN.

SHE NEEDS A GOOD BAWLING-OUT.

OH, DON'T START THAT AGAIN.

START WHAT?

WELL, WE WERE REHEARSING OUR ROUTINE TODAY,

AND WHO SHOULD WALK UP TO US BUT TONY POWELL?

SO WHAT? NOT THE GREAT ANTHONY POWELL?

HE WAS VERY PLEASANT TO US AND EVERYTHING,

EVEN WANTED TO KNOW ALL ABOUT US,

AND SHE RUNS OUT ON HIM

LIKE HE WAS A BED OF POISON IVY.

I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT ME.

YOU SHOULD BE GLAD HE LOOKED AT YOU AT ALL. YEAH.

HE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU OUGHT TO RUN HOME

AND PUT ON A TIN OVERCOAT.

LISTEN, DON'T FORGET I'M PART OF THIS TEAM,

AND IF YOU THINK I'M PRACTICING UP

JUST TO RUN AWAY FROM MANAGERS, YOU'RE CRAZY!

OH, YOU'RE INTERFERING WITH MY ART.

HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR AN ACT.

HE WAS PUTTING ONE ON.

YOU OUGHT TO STOP AT A FILLING STATION

AND GET PUMPED UP.

SHE AIN'T EXACTLY A FLAT, DEARIE,

JUST A SLOW LEAK.

IF IT'S NOT FOOD, IT'S MEN.

CAN'T YOU TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE?

AND WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

HIYA, KAYE.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, A NEW SCRIPT?

YES.

SAY, DON'T YOU EAT HERE ANYMORE, YOU LUCKY GIRL?

WELL, SOME FRIENDS OF MINE ARE IN TOWN,

AND I'VE BEEN SEEING QUITE A BIT OF THEM LATELY.

NOT SOME OF THOSE TREE-CHOPPER-DOWNERS, I HOPE.

NO. JUST PEOPLE.

PARDON ME, BUT THERE'S A DUST STORM BLOWING UP, I FEAR.

[SNOOTY ACCENT] HOW DO YOU DO?

HAVE WE MET SOCIALLY?

I HOPE NOT. HEY, THAT'S A KIND OF A GOOD-LOOKING

PIECE OF JACKRABBIT YOU GOT THERE.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE TRINKET

MY AUNT SUSAN SENT OVER.

SAY, I THINK IT'S VERY UNSELFISH OF THOSE LITTLE ANIMALS

TO GIVE UP THEIR LIVES TO KEEP OTHER ANIMALS WARM.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE VERY SMART LITTLE ANIMALS.

THEY NEVER GIVE UP THEIR LIVES FOR THE WRONG PEOPLE.

WELL, YOU UNDERSTAND THE RODENT FAMILY

MUCH BETTER THAN I DO.

INCIDENTALLY, I SAW YOUR AUNT SUSAN TODAY,

AND I THINK YOU SHOW MUCH BETTER TASTE THAN HE DOES.

OF COURSE, IT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH DIFFERENCE.

YOU CAN BE THINKING OF A BRIGHT REMARK

WHILE I ANSWER THE TELEPHONE.

DON'T FORGET AUNT SUSAN'S CAR

IS WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE.

HELLO?

THIS IS MISS MAITLAND SPEAKING.

YES?

MR. BURGER? AT THE CLUB GROTTO?

WHERE? WHEN?

OK, I'LL GO RIGHT OVER. THANKS EVER SO MUCH.

CALL OUT THE MARINES, KIDS!

THE DEPRESSION'S OVER!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? ARE YOU GOING SCREWY?

COME ON, STRINGBEAN! HEY! COME ON.

WAKE UP, WILL YOU? LET'S GET GOING. WHAT IS IT, A FIRE?

YOU KNOW, THAT WAS GORDON FROM THE DANCING SCHOOL.

YEAH? WHAT'D HE DO, PROPOSE?

NO. HE SAID FOR US TO GO OVER TO THE CLUB GROTTO

AND SEE A MAN BY THE NAME OF BURGER.

WHAT ABOUT IT?

WHAT ABOUT IT?!

HE'S GOT AN OPENING IN HIS FLOOR SHOW!

GOOD THING THERE ISN'T AN OPENING IN THE FLOOR.

YOU'D FALL THROUGH IT. WHAT'S THE EXCITEMENT?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF.

SHE HASN'T WORKED IN SO LONG, IF SHE DOES GET THE JOB,

IT'LL PRACTICALLY AMOUNT TO A COMEBACK.

THEY NEVER SEEM TO BE AT A LOSS FOR ACTION AROUND HERE.

IT'S A LITTLE LIKE A 3-RING CIRCUS.

A LITTLE BIT.

THEY'RE A GREAT BUNCH OF GIRLS.

I THINK SO.

THEY DON'T SEEM TO FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME, THOUGH.

OH, YOU MUSTN'T MIND THEM.

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL

THAT THERE'S SOMETHING DEFINITELY WRONG WITH ME.

YOU'RE DIFFERENT, THAT'S ALL.

WELL, NOW, WHY? I EAT THE SAME FOOD,

I SLEEP IN THE SAME KIND OF BED,

I'VE EVEN GOT A CREASE ACROSS MY BACK

FROM THAT LUMPY MATTRESS,

AND I'M DOING MY BEST TO PICK UP THEIR SLANG,

THOUGH I'M NOT SO HOT.

HOW'S THAT? "NOT SO HOT."

THEY'LL GET TO UNDERSTAND YOU AFTER A WHILE.

MAYBE YOU'LL GET TO UNDERSTAND THEM A LITTLE BETTER.

OH, I SUPPOSE SO.

THEY DO MAKE A LOT OF NOISE,

BUT IT'S JUST TO KEEP UP THEIR COURAGE AND HIDE THEIR FEARS.

WELL, NOW, WHAT HAVE THEY GOT TO BE AFRAID OF?

CERTAINLY THEY'RE YOUNG ENOUGH TO HAVE COURAGE.

YOUNG ENOUGH TO HAVE FEARS, TOO.

YOU SAW HOW EXCITED JEAN AND ANN GOT JUST NOW,

AND THAT WASN'T A JOB, EVEN,

JUST THE PROSPECT OF ONE.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, WAITING AND HOPING

THAT SOME MANAGER WILL INTERVIEW YOU.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE THAT WORRY.

I SAW YOU IN THAT PLAY LAST YEAR.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD ACTRESS.

I'M NOT SO SURE ANYMORE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO'S AN ACTRESS AND WHO ISN'T?

YOU'RE AN ACTRESS IF YOU'RE ACTING,

BUT YOU CAN'T JUST WALK UP AND DOWN A ROOM AND ACT.

WITHOUT THAT JOB AND THOSE LINES TO SAY,

AN ACTRESS IS JUST LIKE ANY ORDINARY GIRL

TRYING NOT TO LOOK AS SCARED AS SHE FEELS.

HERE'S SOMETHING I DASHED OFF IN THE KITCHEN

I WANTED YOU TO TRY.

BUT, HATTIE, I'VE HAD MY DINNER.

BUT THIS IS SOMETHING EXTRA SPECIAL.

I'M PRACTICING COOKING IN MY SPARE TIME.

WELL, I'M GLAD THAT SOMEONE

IN THAT KITCHEN IS PRACTICING.

I'LL JUST LEAVE IT THERE.

YOU MAY GET HUNGRY AFTER A WHILE.

IF I DON'T HEAR ANY SCREAMS, I'LL KNOW I'M A SUCCESS.

Mrs. Orcutt: HATTIE! COMING!

I TOLD YOU TO WASH THOSE DISHES. NOW, WHY DO YOU...

SO THAT'S FINAL?

YES, DAD, THAT'S FINAL.

I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT BY NOW,

YOU MIGHT HAVE SATISFIED THIS SILLY WHIM OF YOURS

AND BEEN READY TO COME BACK HOME.

IF I THOUGHT

THAT I COULDN'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING BY MYSELF

WITHOUT THE AID OF THE FAMILY MILLIONS,

I'D FEEL LIKE A PRETTY SORRY SPECIMEN.

WHY MUST IT BE THE STAGE? THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO ACHIEVE IN LIFE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY. IT JUST HAPPENS TO APPEAL TO ME.

WHY DID GRANDFATHER RANDALL

LEAVE A COMFORTABLE HOME

AND GO OFF PIONEERING INTO UNKNOWN COUNTRY?

HE MADE SACRIFICES FOR A REASON--

SO THAT HIS FAMILY COULD HAVE ECONOMIC SECURITY.

SECURITY FROM WHAT?

SO THAT I CAN LEARN TO PLAY

A MEAN GAME OF BRIDGE

OR RIDE TO HOUNDS OR MARRY A POLO PLAYER?

IS THAT WHY GRANDFATHER RANDALL

ENDURED ALL THOSE HARDSHIPS?

BUT YOU'VE GOT THE FAMILY NAME TO CONSIDER.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FAMILY NAME.

AS FAR AS NEW YORK IS CONCERNED,

TERRY RANDALL IS JUST ANOTHER STAGESTRUCK GIRL

FROM THE MIDDLE WEST. THEY DON'T KNOW ME FROM EVE.

BUT THEY'RE GOING TO, IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.

I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T SUPPORT YOU IN THIS IDEA ANY LONGER.

FINANCIALLY OR MORALLY?

IF YOU'RE GOING ON WITH THIS NOTION,

YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT ALONE.

ALL RIGHT, THEN I'LL HAVE TO DO IT ALONE.

WHAT IF YOU'RE A FAILURE? WHAT THEN?

IF I'M A FAILURE,

I'LL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT IT.

BUT IT MAY TAKE YEARS TO FIND OUT.

OH, DAD, IT MAY TAKE YEARS

TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING,

BUT I'M GOING TO STICK TO IT.

WELL, UH... ARE YOU TOO PROUD

TO COME BACK HOME IF YOU ARE A FAILURE?

I HAVEN'T GOT THAT KIND OF PRIDE.

YOU WOULD COME HOME IF YOU FAILED?

WOULD YOU HAVE ME?

WELL, YOU'RE PRETTY STUBBORN,

BUT YOU'RE STILL MY FAVORITE DAUGHTER.

WE'LL LEAVE IT THERE. CHECK, PLEASE.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

WELL, WELL, HELLO, MR. POWELL. HOW ARE YOU?

SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

MISS SHAW, MAY I PRESENT MR. POWELL?

Both: HOW DO YOU DO?

WON'T YOU JOIN US? I HOPE I'M NOT INTRUDING.

INTR--WELL, I SHOULD SAY NOT.

THERE WE ARE.

HOW MANY TIMES

HAVE WE BEEN INTRODUCED?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?

37, INCLUDING THIS EVENING.

THANK YOU. I WONDER

IF WE'RE FOOLING ANYBODY BUT OURSELVES.

YOU'RE IN A VERY UGLY HUMOR THIS EVENING.

OH, DO YOU LIKE IT?

IF I HAVE TO HAVE A STOOGE,

YOU MIGHT AT LEAST GET ME SOMEBODY INTERESTING.

I HATE THAT WORD "STOOGE."

I'M RETAINED AS AN ESCORT.

STOOGE IS GOOD ENOUGH.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. I'M BORED TO DEATH.

WHY NOT RELAX? THERE ARE A COUPLE OF NEW NUMBERS I'D LIKE TO SEE.

OOH, ARE YOU GETTING INTERESTED

IN NEW NUMBERS?

SHALL I JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION

JUST SO PEOPLE THINK WE'RE ALL TOGETHER?

I THINK I CAN GET YOU A JOB

WITH A VENTRILOQUIST.

WELL, WELL. LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES.

COUPLE OF CUTE KIDS, AREN'T THEY?

YOU THINK SO?

I WONDER WHO THEY ARE.

JUST A LOT OF RIFFRAFF THEY PICK UP AROUND TOWN.

PARDON ME. MR. POWELL, YOU'RE WANTED ON THE PHONE.

THANK YOU. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WHY DON'T YOU TWO DANCE?

REMEMBER, IF YOU GET ANY WRONG NUMBERS,

YOU CAN ALWAYS GET YOUR NICKEL BACK.

WELL, SHALL WE DANCE?

NO.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE CALLED US?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, US?

I'LL RIFFRAFF HER. I COULD HIT HER

OVER THE HEAD WITH THIS STICK.

YOU DID EVERYTHING BUT POKE HER EYE OUT WITH IT.

THE WAY THAT POWELL SAT GRINNING AT US,

I COULD HIT HIM, TOO.

THAT'S ALL WE NEED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S ALL WE NEED?

WELL, I HEARD TONIGHT

THAT HE OWNS HALF INTEREST IN THIS CLUB.

OR DID YOU KNOW THAT?

OH! I THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY

THAT WE SHOULD HAPPEN TO GET THIS JOB ALL OF A SUDDEN.

AND THEN CAME THE DAWN.

YOU DON'T SUPPOSE HE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH OUR BEING HERE?

ATTA GAL, SHERLOCK.

I BETCHA YOU COULD PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER

AND GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT.

SO THAT'S IT.

OH, DON'T BE A DOPE.

IF HE SMILED AT ME TONIGHT THE WAY HE SMILED AT YOU,

I'D DO A 3-POINT COLLAPSE.

MAY I, UH, COME IN?

OH, HOW DO YOU DO, MR. POWELL?

YES, COME ON IN.

I THOUGHT YOU GIRLS WERE VERY GOOD TONIGHT.

THANK YOU. WE THOUGHT SO, TOO.

MIND IF I SIT DOWN?

WHY NOT? IT'S YOUR CLUB.

NOT EXACTLY. I HAVE A SMALL INTEREST IN IT.

OH, DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HER, MR. POWELL.

SHE'S SLIGHTLY BARMY.

YOU DON'T LIKE ME, DO YOU?

HOW COULD I HELP BUT LIKE A MAN

WHO TAKES HIS MOTHER OUT TO A NIGHTCLUB?

THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER YOU WERE SITTING WITH?

NO, NO. THAT WAS MY FRIEND'S MOTHER.

OH, THEN I CAN SPEAK FREELY?

GO RIGHT AHEAD.

I THINK YOUR FRIEND SHOWS VERY BAD TASTE IN PICKING MOTHERS.

YOU KNOW, I'M, UH...

I'M BEGINNING TO THINK SO MYSELF.

NOW, MY IDEAL MOTHER IS YOUNG, BLOND, SLIM,

AND GENERALLY INTRIGUING.

I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET YOU ONE FOR MOTHER'S DAY.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM-- TALL, FAT, ROUND?

WELL, ABOUT YOUR SIZE.

THAT WOULDN'T BE SO EASY.

YOU SEE, I'M NOT THE STOCK SIZE.

WELL, COULDN'T WE TALK THE WHOLE THING OVER

AT DINNER SOME NIGHT?

OH, I'M VERY FOND OF DINNER.

DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU COULD SEND YOUR CAR AROUND FOR ME?

WHERE WOULD I SEND IT?

I'M LIVING AT THE FOOTLIGHTS CLUB,

BUT THE TRAFFIC AROUND THERE IS RATHER HEAVY.

I SEE.

SO I THINK YOU'D BETTER SEND IT AROUND HERE FIRST.

PERHAPS THAT WOULD BE BETTER.

SHALL WE SAY, UH, TOMORROW NIGHT

AFTER THE SHOW?

MOM WILL HAVE A LAMP IN THE WINDOW.

GOOD NIGHT.

NO. MR. POWELL ISN'T IN TODAY.

DID YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT? HELLO?

OF COURSE, I COULD WAIT AROUND

IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS ANY CHANCE--

YOU CAN WAIT IF YOU LIKE,

BUT I'M SURE THERE'S VERY LITTLE CHANCE

OF YOU SEEING HIM TODAY. THANK YOU. I'LL WAIT.

First secretary: HELLO. I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW. YOU MIGHT CALL LATER.

NO. MR. POWELL'S OUT OF TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? OUT OF TOWN.

I GUESS THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HIS DOUBLE

PEEKING THROUGH THE DOOR A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

IMAGINE OPENING A GREAT BIG OFFICE LIKE THIS

JUST NOT TO SEE PEOPLE.

[WHISTLING]

YOU CAN GO IN.

MAMMY SINGER?

MAYBE WHEN POWELL LEFT TOWN,

HE FORGOT TO TAKE HIS SHOES WITH HIM.

HELLO, KAYE.

HELLO.

YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN. MR. POWELL'S OUT OF TOWN.

HE'S ON A WORLD TOUR.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY.

HE MAY BE HIDING UNDER THE LINOLEUM.

WE'RE KIDDING. HE ISN'T SEEING ANYBODY EXCEPT BY APPOINTMENT.

OH, I'VE GOT AN APPOINTMENT.

I'M GOING TO READ THAT PART TODAY.

MAY I TOUCH YOU?

YOU'LL KNOCK HIM OFF HIS CHAIR.

I HOPE SO.

I'VE BEEN STUDYING ALL NIGHT.

DO YOU HAVE APPOINTMENTS, TOO?

WE'RE WAITING FOR RANDALL.

IF SHE DOESN'T CRASH POWELL'S OFFICE BY 2:00,

SHE'S BUYING US LUNCH.

WE'RE STARTING OFF WITH CAVIAR.

OH, NOT THAT SMALL STURGEON KIND,

BUT NICE BIG WHALE CAVIAR.

Secretary: OH, MISS HAMILTON.

GOOD LUCK, KID.

THE BEST.

OH, I'M SORRY, MISS HAMILTON.

YOU CAN'T GO IN NOW.

I TRIED TO GET YOU ON THE PHONE.

SOME UNEXPECTED BUSINESS CAME UP,

AND MR. POWELL

WILL HAVE TO CANCEL THAT APPOINTMENT.

WELL, I CAN WAIT.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE HIM TODAY.

YOU'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT NEXT WEEK SOMETIME.

HE'LL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU.

IF I CAN ONLY SEE HIM FOR 5 MINUTES, I KNOW THAT--

I'M SORRY. YOU'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT NEXT WEEK.

PLEASE MAKE IT TODAY,

BECAUSE...BECAUSE...

HERE, HERE, YOU MUSTN'T! OH, SOMEBODY CATCH HER!

GET SOME WATER, SOMEONE!

YOU GET OUT OF HERE. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HER.

I HOPE IT'S NOTHING I SAID.

PUT HER ON THE COUCH.

WHAT'S HAPPENED?

POWELL BROKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH HER,

AND WHEN HIS SECRETARY TOLD HER ABOUT IT,

SHE WENT OUT LIKE A LIGHT.

SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

GIVE ME THE WATER.

SHE'LL BE OK.

TRY RUBBING HER HANDS.

COME ON, DARLING. YOU FAINTED, DEAR.

HE'S A GREAT GUY.

BREAKS AN APPOINTMENT WITH AN ACTRESS

TO GET HIS SHOES SHINED.

YOU MUST REMEMBER

THAT MR. POWELL HAS A GREAT MANY--

WHO DOES THAT POWELL THINK HE IS?

HERE. YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE.

JUST WATCH ME.

[DOOR SLAMS]

ARE YOU THE GREAT ANTHONY POWELL?

WELL, WHO MIGHT YOU BE?

THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

BY WHAT RIGHT DO YOU COME BREAKING IN MY PRIVATE--

BY WHAT RIGHT DO YOU BARRICADE YOURSELF BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

AND REFUSE TO SEE PEOPLE?

THAT HAPPENS TO BE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

DO YOU KNOW A GIRL JUST FAINTED IN YOUR OUTER OFFICE

BECAUSE YOU BROKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH HER?

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW.

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP THAT DOOR CLOSED, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW ANYTHING.

YOU'RE A PRODUCER. YOU OUGHT TO SEE PEOPLE.

WHY, THE GREATEST ACTRESS IN THE WORLD

MIGHT BE LIVING OUT THERE 15 FEET AWAY FROM YOU,

AND YOU'D NEVER EVEN GIVE HER A CHANCE.

ARE YOU THE GREATEST ACTRESS IN THE WORLD?

NEVER MIND ABOUT ME. I DON'T NEED YOU,

BUT THOSE OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY SWEAT AND SLAVE

AND GO WITHOUT FOOD AND DECENT CLOTHES

IN THE HOPE THAT SOMEDAY,

SOMEONE LIKE YOU WILL COME OUT OF HIS OFFICE AND NOTICE THEM.

I'M SORRY, MR. POWELL.

THAT YOUNG WOMAN RUSHED IN BEFORE I COULD STOP HER.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MISS ARDEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL THAT FAINTED?

SHE'S FINE. HER FRIENDS ARE TAKING HER HOME.

I'LL RING WHEN I WANT YOU.

THANK YOU.

SIT DOWN, YOUNG LADY. I WANT TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU.

GO AHEAD. ALL RIGHT, SONNY.

YES, SIR.

SIT DOWN.

ALL RIGHT, I'M SITTING.

NOW LISTEN, MY MILITANT FRIEND.

I JUDGE FROM YOUR ATTITUDE

THAT YOU HOLD ME PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE

FOR ANY POSSIBLE TRAGEDY

IN THE LIVES OF THE GIRLS THAT COME UP HERE. IS THAT CORRECT?

NO, IT ISN'T. BUT I THINK YOU OUGHT TO SEE THOSE PEOPLE.

MAYBE THEY'VE GOT SOMETHING. WELL, MAYBE THEY HAVE.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT IF I SAW ALL OF THE GIRLS THAT CAME UP HERE

THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE?

EVERY YEAR, ABOUT 50,000 GIRLS--

WILL YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN? YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.

YES, I'M SITTING.

SAY SOMETHING WORTH LISTENING TO.

EVERY YEAR, ABOUT 50,000 GIRLS DECIDE THAT THEY WANT

TO GO ON THE STAGE, FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER.

WELL, 49,500 OF THEM ARE WRONG.

THEY'D BE MUCH BETTER OFF HOME WASHING DISHES.

HOW ABOUT THE OTHER 500? DO YOU SEE THEM?

I COULDN'T SEE THEM IF I WANTED TO.

THERE ARE AT LEAST 50 GIRLS FOR EVERY JOB.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU GET THE RIGHT ONE?

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN THE COMMON COURTESY

TO GO OUT THERE AND SAY NO TO THEM.

AT LEAST THAT WOULD GIVE THEM SOME CONTACT

WITH THE THEATER.

WELL, YOU'RE ONE THAT CAN'T COMPLAIN.

I'VE SEEN YOU, AND YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE.

YOU'RE VERY SMUG, MR. POWELL, VERY SMUG.

WELL, WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE SATISFIED

THAT I'M NOT ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE

FOR ALL OF THE ILLS OF THE THEATRICAL PROFESSION,

MAY I SUGGEST THAT YOU RUN ALONG

AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY CONSCIENCE?

I DOUBT IF YOU HAVE A CONSCIENCE.

MISS ARDEN, I WON'T SEE ANYBODY ELSE TODAY.

I DON'T CARE WHO--

OH. IS HE HERE?

WELL, HELLO, MR. CARMICHAEL. COME IN.

HELLO, MR. POWELL.

NICE TO SEE YOU. HOW ARE YOU?

FINE, THANK YOU.

I HOPE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO

WITH THAT OTHER MATTER.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL SETTLED.

OH, NO, IT ISN'T ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

THAT'S FINE. SIT DOWN.

NO, THANKS. HAVE A CIGAR?

NO. CIGARETTE?

WE JUST HAD A LITTLE EXCITEMENT AROUND HERE.

YES. I COULDN'T HELP BUT HEAR. WHO WAS THE GIRL?

OH, I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA.

SOME STAGESTRUCK DAMSEL

SUFFERING FROM OVEREXCITEMENT.

IS SHE AN ACTRESS?

IF SHE IS, SHE'S A PRETTY BAD ONE.

I CAN TELL THEM A MILE OFF.

YOU'RE SURE OF THAT?

I SELDOM MISS.

SOMETHING OUGHT TO BE DONE ABOUT THESE GIRLS

THAT COME TO NEW YORK AND TRY TO GO ON THE STAGE.

THEY'D BE SO MUCH BETTER OFF AT HOME RAISING FAMILIES.

THAT'S WHAT MY CLIENT THINKS.

CLIENT?

YOU'RE PRODUCING A NEW PLAY SHORTLY, AREN'T YOU?

ENCHANTED APRIL. WHY?

WELL, THE CLIENT I JUST SPOKE OF

IS SOMEWHAT INTERESTED IN THE THEATER.

I CAN'T MENTION ANY NAMES, OF COURSE.

YOU KNOW HOW THOSE PEOPLE ARE.

BUT SOMEWHERE HE GOT THE IDEA

THAT HE'D LIKE TO DABBLE IN SHOW BUSINESS.

WELL, FRESH MONEY IS ALWAYS WELCOME.

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,

I'M NOT SO SURE THAT YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED.

UNDER... WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES?

HOWEVER, HERE'S THE PROPOSITION.

WE MAY AS WELL GO OVER IT.

AFTERWARDS, IF YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED,

WELL... WE CAN GO ON FROM THERE.

HELLO. HELLO.

NO. THIS IS THE FOOTLIGHTS CLUB.

FOOTLIGHTS. NO. FOOT.

HOW CAN IT BE THE BEACON LAUNDRY

WHEN IT'S THE FOOTLIGHTS CLUB?

CERTAINLY I'M SURE. I'M RIGHT IN IT.

IS THAT SO?

WELL, GO WASH YOUR OWN NECK AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT.

HOW'S KAYE FEELING?

OH, SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY WAS WRONG?

MALNUTRITION, HE CALLED IT.

THAT'S LATIN FOR NOT EATING.

ALL SHE NEEDS IS SOME GOOD MEALS--

TRY AND GET THEM-- AND A NICE LONG REST.

WELL, SHE HASN'T WORKED IN ALMOST A YEAR.

THAT'S JUST THE SAME AS A REST.

COME HERE. SHAKE YOUR HEAD.

WHY?

NEVER MIND. SHAKE YOUR HEAD!

LIKE THIS? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

I CAN HEAR IT RATTLE JUST AS PLAIN.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, WHAT IS...

NOTHING.

WELL, I HOPE DEAR OLD MR. ANTHONY POWELL

SLEEPS WELL TONIGHT.

WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT THE RANDALL GIRL

TELLING HIM OFF THIS AFTERNOON?

I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT SHE SAID,

BUT SHE SURE MADE A LOT OF NOISE.

IT COST US LUNCH, AND I HATE TO SAY IT,

BUT I AM REVISING MY OPINION OF HER.

[HUMMING]

HAS MR. POWELL'S CAR COME YET?

I AIN'T SEEN IT. I AIN'T HEARD THE HORN.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

OH, MAYBE THAT'S HIM NOW.

I DON'T SEE HOW SHE'S GONNA PAY HER DOCTOR BILLS.

IT'S ALL DONE WITH MIRRORS.

DOES MISS JEAN MAITLAND LIVE HERE?

YES.

WILL YOU GIVE HER THESE?

I'LL SEE THAT SHE GETS THEM.

THANK YOU, HATTIE.

I DON'T THINK THEY'RE FOR YOU.

OH, YES, I RECOGNIZE THE FLORIST.

THE BOY SAID THEY'RE FOR JEAN.

OHH...SO THEY ARE.

LET ME TAKE THEM TO HER.

WELL, ANYTHING TO SAVE ME FROM A TRIP UPSTAIRS.

[HUMMING]

LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A NEW QUEEN BEE

BUZZING AROUND THE HIVE.

WELL, IT SEEMS TO BE THE SAME KING.

HOW'S KAYE?

SHE'S FINE.

IT'S SO SILLY OF HER TO HAVE GONE WITHOUT FOOD.

[SNOOTY ACCENT] OH, YES, I THINK

IT'S TERRIBLY SILLY TO GO WITHOUT FOOD.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.

WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?

SHE'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. I DIDN'T REALIZE THE SITUATION.

I THINK IT'S VERY STUPID OF HER NOT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW.

IT WAS VERY SWEET OF YOU TO SEND THE DOCTOR.

I ASKED YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

NOBODY KNOWS.

I KNOW, BUT PLEASE DON'T MENTION IT AGAIN.

IT'S NOT THAT I'M SENTIMENTAL.

IT'S JUST THAT THE WHOLE THING SEEMS UNNECESSARY TO ME.

MAY I COME IN?

OH, SURE. I GUESS YOU'LL BE SAFE.

THE EXTERMINATORS WON'T BE HERE TILL TOMORROW.

HOW DID THEY MISS YOU ON THEIR LAST VISIT?

I WAS OUT IN SOCIETY

WITH AN OLD BOYFRIEND OF YOURS.

OH, YES, SPEAKING OF FUNERALS,

THESE FLOWERS JUST ARRIVED FOR YOU.

AND YOU BROUGHT THEM UP? OH, MY LITTLE FLOWER GIRL.

IF I COULD FIND MY PURSE,

I'D GIVE YOU A A BIG 5-CENT TIP.

I REALLY CAME ALONG TO GIVE YOU A TIP.

DON'T BOTHER TO READ THE NOTE. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT SAYS.

"11 ROSES AND THE 12th IS YOU."

YOU'RE DOING VERY WELL UP TO NOW.

TELL ME MORE.

HIS ROUTINE'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WITH ALL THE GIRLS.

IT ALL ENDS UP WITH A QUIET LITTLE SUPPER

IN HIS PENTHOUSE,

WITH CHAMPAGNE AND ALL THE TRIMMINGS

AND THE VIEW AND ALL THAT.

OH, AND THEN THERE'S HARCOURT. HARCOURT'S REALLY A GEM.

THAT ISN'T HARCOURT YOU'RE WEARING, IS IT?

NO, MY SWEET. THAT'S A LITTLE THING CALLED A STAR SAPPHIRE.

HARCOURT'S THE BUTLER. HE'S VERY DISCREET, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, ONE OF THOSE BUTLERS THAT TIPTOES BACKWARDS.

YES. I KNOW THE TYPE VERY WELL.

BUT YOU'LL GET TO KNOW HIM MUCH BETTER.

AND HE'S VERY DEAF.

YOU REALLY WON'T HAVE TO BOTHER TO SCREAM FOR HELP.

I MUSTN'T FORGET TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE LIGHTING EFFECT.

IT'S VERY GOOD.

IT GOES WITH THAT "TIRED LITTLE BOY" ROUTINE.

BUT I WON'T SPOIL IT FOR YOU.

I'LL LET ALL THAT COME AS A SURPRISE.

IT MUST BE GALLING TO YOU OLDER WOMEN

TO LOSE YOUR MEAL TICKET TO YOUNGER RIFFRAFF.

JUST A LEAVE OF ABSENCE, DEARIE, AND IN THE MEANTIME,

I HAVE MY LOVELY SABLE COAT AND MY STAR SAPPHIRE

TO KEEP ME COMPANY.

IT'S LOVELY,

BUT I'M AFRAID YOU PAID TOO MUCH FOR IT.

THAT'S YOUR MISTAKE.

I'M NOT AS GENEROUS AS MY AUNT SUSAN.

WELL, GOOD-BYE. THANKS FOR CALLING.

IF YOU EVER NEED A GOOD PALLBEARER,

REMEMBER, I'M AT YOUR SERVICE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

DIDN'T MEAN TO EAVESDROP, BUT I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY RUNNING AROUND

WITH THAT MAN POWELL, ARE YOU?

WHY NOT?

WELL, WHY PLAY WITH FIRE JUST TO SPITE LINDA?

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

PERSONALLY, I THINK YOU NEED A GOVERNESS.

WHY SHOULDN'T I GO OUT WITH HIM?

I THINK HE'S VERY CHARMING.

SO ARE SNAKES.

BESIDES, IF I DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM,

I'LL PROBABLY LOSE MY JOB, AND SO WILL ANN,

AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED FROM.

OH, NOW, THAT'S A RATHER LAME EXCUSE.

YOU GOT ALONG SOMEHOW BEFORE, DIDN'T YOU?

I'M SICK OF GETTING ALONG SOMEHOW.

WHY DON'T YOU STICK TO YOUR IDEALS?

THEY'RE RATHER CRUDE, BUT THEY'RE ALL RIGHT.

YOU SHOULD TALK!

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, DON'T BRING UP THAT GRANDFATHER THING AGAIN.

ANYTHING BUT THAT.

BESIDES, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

I'M SORRY, MA'AM.

THAT'S A VERY BEAUTIFUL ERMINE JACKET YOU HAVE ON,

REMARKABLY SIMILAR TO ONE OF MINE.

OH, UH, I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU BACK SO SOON.

DON'T THINK I INTENDED TO BORROW IT OR ANYTHING.

I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW I'D FEEL

IN ONE OF THESE THINGS.

DO YOU FEEL VERY DIFFERENT?

I'LL SAY.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU WEAR IT?

DO YOU MEAN IT?

OH, WHY NOT?

YOU MAY AS WELL GO TO PERDITION IN ERMINE.

YOU'RE SURE TO COME BACK IN RAGS.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FUNNY.

IN SOME WAYS, YOU'RE NOT SUCH A BAD EGG.

AS EGGS GO, I PROBABLY HAVE MY POINTS.

GEE, THANKS.

UH, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL.

ANYTHING FOR OLD SEATTLE.

WELL, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT DINNER.

JUST A MINUTE.

HATTIE, WHAT'S ON THE MENU TONIGHT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DON'T TELL ME.

I BELIEVE I COULD MANAGE IT.

YES, I'LL TRY TO GET ANOTHER GIRL.

8:00. BYE.

OH, WHAT THE WELL-DRESSED ROOMMATE WILL WEAR.

PARDONNEZ-MOI.

TAKE A LOOK, HENRY. THAT'S WHERE YOU'LL WIND UP

IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE YOURSELF.

IF YOUR LINE ISN'T TOO BUSY TONIGHT,

I HAVE A COUPLE OF LUMBER--

OH! NO, NO, DON'T.

DON'T MENTION THE WORD "LUMBER."

I AM DINING TONIGHT ON PHEASANT BORDELAISE

WITH THE PEACH-FUZZ DRESSING--

WHERE IS BORDELAISE?

SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PHEASANT IS.

NATURALLY. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PHEASANT AND PEASANT.

MY FRIEND WOULDN'T THINK OF SERVING PEASANT.

NO, BUT HE'S WILLING TO TAKE THEM OUT ONCE OR TWICE.

BUT WHEN HE'S THROUGH, HE'S THROUGH.

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY FRIEND.

IT'S ONE THING TO BORROW A FRIEND'S FRIEND.

IT'S ANOTHER THING TO HOLD HIM,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WOULD YOU MIND TELLING THE LADY

THAT I DON'T WANT TO BUY ANYTHING TODAY?

GOOD-BYE, ALL, AND WHEN I RETURN,

I SHALL TELL YOU HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES.

NICE MEETING YOU.

IF IT'S NOT ASKING TOO MUCH, LET'S NOT BE LATE AGAIN.

LEAD THE WAY, HIGGINS.

YOU DON'T SUPPOSE SHE WAS BURNED UP,

BY ANY CHANCE, DO YOU?

WHY DON'T YOU TWO HAVE IT OUT WITH SHARP KNIVES?

HELLO, BILL.

HIYA, PALSIE. HELLO, ANN.

HELLO. MAKE IT SNAPPY. WE'RE IN A HURRY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HER?

OH, JUST A GROUCH. WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?

THIS MORNING. THE SHOW WAS ONE OF THE QUICKER

FLOPS OF THE YEAR,

IN SPITE OF ONE OF THE BEST PRESS CAMPAIGNS

OF THIS OR ANY OTHER SEASON.

NO, THANKS. GAVE IT UP WHEN I WAS 7.

BRIGHT GIRL. BUSY TONIGHT?

YEAH.

WELL, I COULDN'T GIVE YOU VERY MUCH TIME

TONIGHT ANYWAY,

BUT HOW ABOUT DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT?

OH, I DON'T THINK I CAN VERY WELL.

WHY NOT?

WELL, SINCE WE'VE GOTTEN THIS JOB,

I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME FOR ANYTHING.

WELL, YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN UP EATING, HAVE YOU?

IT ISN'T THAT. IT'S JUST THAT...

I DON'T THINK WE'D BETTER SEE EACH OTHER FOR A WHILE.

WHY?

I JUST THINK IT'S BETTER, THAT'S ALL.

OH.

WHY DO YOU SAY "OH" LIKE THAT?

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU SAY IT?

YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT MEANT SOMETHING ELSE.

WELL, DOES IT?

WHATEVER I DO IS MY OWN BUSINESS.

Ann: ARE YOU COMING OR AREN'T YOU?

OH, SHUT UP.

DID YOU EAT SOMETHING SOUR FOR LUNCH TODAY?

I'M SORRY, BILL, BUT...

I'VE GOT TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE FROM NOW ON.

SURE. BUT IT WOULDN'T INTERFERE WITH YOUR LIFE

IF I WALKED DOWN TO THE CORNER WITH YOU, WOULD IT?

NO...I GUESS NOT.

WELL, THAT'S 50,000 YOU OWE ME.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

ONE SHAKE, DOUBLE OR NOTHING.

ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.

AH, WE'RE EVEN.

DID YOU ENJOY YOUR SUPPER?

I DIDN'T DARE TO.

WHY NOT?

MAKES IT TOO TOUGH TO GO BACK TO THAT LAMB STEW.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT LAMB STEW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

DO YOU HAVE SUPPERS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME?

PRACTICALLY ALL THE TIME. WHY?

JUST WONDERED.

I WISH I'D BEEN BORN LUCKY

INSTEAD OF BEAUTIFUL AND HUNGRY.

YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING. BUT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

I'M THE LUCKY ONE.

WILL YOU HAVE A LITTLE CHAMPAGNE?

NO, THANKS. I WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND UP

AS IT IS.

BOO!

HA HA HA!

I KNEW SHE WAS LYING TO ME.

WHO?

HE ISN'T DEAF AT ALL.

HE HASN'T BEEN.

IT JUST SHOWS YOU,

YOU CAN'T TRUST PEOPLE NOWADAYS.

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T. DON'T YOU THINK

YOU'D BETTER HAVE A LITTLE COFFEE?

THAT'S A WONDERFUL VIEW.

OH, YES, IT IS. IT'S A WONDERFUL VIEW.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CITY. JUST LIKE A FAIRYLAND.

IT'S FULL OF COLOR, ROMANCE, ILLUSION, GLAMOUR.

MAYBE IT DEPENDS ON WHICH WINDOW YOU SEE IT FROM.

WELL, YOU SHOULD SEE IT ONLY FROM HERE.

DO THOSE LIGHTS KEEP YOU AWAKE?

SO FAR THEY HAVEN'T.

I LOVE NEW YORK FROM UP HERE.

IT LOOKS ALL ROUGED AND MANICURED

AND READY TO GO OUT FOR THE EVENING.

YOU'RE QUITE A LITTLE PHILOSOPHER, AREN'T YOU?

IT'S PROBABLY THE CHAMPAGNE TALKING.

MIGHTY GOOD TALK.

THAT'S MIGHTY GOOD CHAMPAGNE.

LET'S HAVE A LITTLE MORE OF BOTH.

ALL RIGHT.

WHO ARE THE 3 LITTLE MEN?

THEY'RE 3 LITTLE FIGURES I PICKED UP IN THE ORIENT.

ANYONE I SHOULD KNOW?

WELL, NOW, THIS ONE

TAKES CARE OF ALL GOOD LITTLE GIRLS

WHO WORK VERY HARD FOR A LIVING.

AND THIS ONE SEES TO IT THAT THEY MEET

THE RIGHT KIND OF PEOPLE. AND THIS ONE--

THIS ONE WENT TO MARKET.

YES, AND HE ALSO SEES TO IT

THAT LITTLE GIRLS DON'T HAVE TO EAT LAMB STEW.

DID YOU PICK HER UP IN THE ORIENT, TOO?

NO, NO. THAT'S MRS. POWELL.

WE'RE NOT DIVORCED OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

AND THAT'S JUNIOR. FINE-LOOKING BOY, ISN'T HE?

I NEVER BELIEVE IN MAKING PRETENSES.

LOTS OF MEN WHO ARE SEPARATED FROM THEIR WIVES

SIMPLY LET IT BE UNDERSTOOD THAT THEY'RE NOT MARRIED.

I BELIEVE IN THIS DAY AND AGE

THAT A MAN CAN HAVE HIS HOME ON THE ONE HAND

AND STILL LIVE HIS OWN LIFE--

THAT IS, ANY MAN OF CHARACTER.

OH, THAT'S BIG OF YOU.

WELL, IT HAPPENS TO BE THE WAY I BELIEVE.

THAT IS VERY BIG OF YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU RELAX?

THERE'S A FEW THINGS

I WANT TO TALK OVER WITH YOU.

AFTER ALL, YOU MUST BE VERY TIRED

DANCING ALL EVENING.

HERE. SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE. THAT'S IT.

OH, THERE YOU ARE AGAIN.

YES, MA'AM.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT DEAF, BECAUSE IF YOU WERE DEAF,

YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HEAR ANYTHING,

AND THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE.

YES, MA'AM, THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE.

SURE WOULD BE TERRIBLE.

YES, TERRIBLE. IT WOULD BE AWFUL. YES.

I NEVER KNOW WHETHER HE'S COMING OUT OR GOING IN.

WHAT HAPPENED?

NOW, ISN'T THAT MORE RESTFUL?

I THOUGHT SOMETHING BLEW OUT.

IT DOES IMPROVE THE VIEW, DOESN'T IT?

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL NOW,

BUT THINK OF HOW MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL IT WILL BE

WHEN YOUR NAME IS FLASHING ACROSS THE HORIZON.

"JEAN MAITLAND" IN LETTERS THAT BIG.

THAT BIG.

ALL RIGHT, THAT BIG.

GOT TO BE BIG ENOUGH TO KEEP PEOPLE AWAKE.

IT'LL BE BIG ENOUGH.

I'LL BE THE SCULPTOR, AND YOU'LL BE THE CLAY.

I'LL MOLD YOU INTO THE GREATEST DANCER

THAT BROADWAY HAS EVER KNOWN.

I'LL BE PYGMALION. YOU'LL BE GALATEA.

SOUNDS LIKE A FAIRY STORY.

ISN'T LIFE A FAIRY STORY, AND AREN'T GROWN-UP PEOPLE

JUST LITTLE CHILDREN AT HEART?

OH, I KNOW AT THE OFFICE,

I'M GRUFF ANTHONY POWELL, THEATRICAL PRODUCER.

THAT'S A POSE. HERE WITH YOU,

I'M JUST A TIRED LITTLE BOY WITH A DREAM.

WHO WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

HUH?

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEBODY,

AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEBODY. PYGMALION AND GALATEA.

AND WHO AM I?

YOU'RE GALATEA.

AM I GALATEA?

PYGMALION WAS A SCULPTOR

WHO CARVED A STATUE OF A WOMAN

OUT OF MARBLE,

AND THE STATUE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THAT HE FELL IN LOVE WITH IT.

AND HIS LOVE WAS SO DEEP AND TENDER AND TRUE

THAT IT WARMED THE STATUE TO LIFE,

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTERWARDS.

DID THEY GET MARRIED?

NO. I DON'T THINK PEOPLE GOT MARRIED

IN THOSE DAYS.

OH, I THINK THAT'S TERRIBLE.

WHAT'S TERRIBLE?

THEY DIDN'T GET MARRIED.

BUT SHE WAS JUST A STATUE.

THAT'S WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT IT.

BUT YOU CAN'T CRY OVER A STATUE.

THE WHOLE THING'S A MERRY STORY.

I KNOW, BUT LOOK AT ALL THE TROUBLE HE WENT TO.

HE DIDN'T GO TO ANY TROUBLE.

YOU'RE JUST GETTING HYSTERICAL.

AND BESIDES, HE HAD A WIFE AND SON

AND COULDN'T GET MARRIED ANYWAY. HARCOURT!

HE SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SHE WAS PROBABLY MINDING HER OWN BUSINESS.

Powell: YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF ALL EXCITED OVER NOTHING.

COME ON. THE COAT.

I'M NOT EXCITED,

AND IT MAY BE NOTHING TO YOU,

BUT IT WAS SOMETHING TO HER.

HE CAN'T DO THAT TO HER!

YOU BET HE CAN'T. YOU BET.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

LISTEN, I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

THE VERY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

NOW, YOU RUN ALONG AND GET SOME SLEEP

AND DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING.

I'LL HAVE MY LAWYER STRAIGHTEN THE WHOLE THING OUT.

WHAT THING?

WHATEVER THERE IS TO BE STRAIGHTENED OUT,

NOW, I'LL SEE THAT IT'S STRAIGHTENED OUT.

DON'T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEAD ABOUT A THING.

OH, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

HARCOURT'S RIGHT HERE.

HARCOURT WILL SEE YOU TO YOUR CAR.

THAT'S A GOOD GIRL.

YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE WONDERFUL

AND I'M WONDERFUL,

AND HARCOURT'S WONDERFUL.

THE WHOLE THING IS WONDERFUL.

WHEW!

♪ A PENTHOUSE ON PARK AVENUE ♪

♪ WAY IN THE MIDST OF THE SKY ♪

♪ IT CERTAINLY SEEMS RATHER HIGH ♪

♪ IT CERTAINLY IS RATHER HIGH... ♪

YOU SEEM TO BE RATHER HIGH YOURSELF.

YOU MUST HAVE HAD A PRETTY GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

I'LL SAY. IT WAS WONDERFUL.

OH, YES. THE VIEW WAS WONDERFUL. THE SUPPER WAS WONDERFUL.

I WON $50,000. AND HARCOURT IS WONDERFUL.

AND WHO'S HARCOURT?

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

DO YOU KNOW YOUR OWN NAME?

IT'S GOING TO BE IN LETTERS THAT BIG.

NO. THAT BIG.

WHOSE, YOURS OR HARCOURT'S?

YOU SAID IT.

AND HE'S GOING TO DIVORCE HIS WIFE

AND MARRY GALATEA.

AND WHO'S GALATEA?

I--SHE'S A STATUE.

SHE SHOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

BUT IT'S GOING TO BE WONDERFUL.

YES, I'M SURE THAT EVERYTHING'S

GOING TO BE VERY WONDERFUL.

THE VIEW IS WONDERFUL.

AND HARCOURT'S WONDERFUL, AND YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

AND YOU'RE WONDERFUL. AND I'M WONDERFUL, TOO. NOW, COME ON.

LET ME HELP YOU TAKE OFF YOUR THINGS.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO GO TO THE WEDDING.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE THERE, TOO.

I'LL BE THERE.

HARCOURT'S GOING TO MARRY GALATEA,

AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER

IN A GREAT BIG SIGN.

AND I FEEL TERRIBLE.

BUT ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

AND TOMORROW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE

A WONDERFUL HANGOVER,

AND THAT WON'T BE SO WONDERFUL.

IT'S WONDERFUL. IT'S WONDERFUL...

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, THAT'S MY STORY. HOW DID YOU GET IN THEATER?

HOW DID ANY OF US GET IN THE THEATER?

I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN IN THE THEATER

EXCEPT AS A SPECTATOR.

WHERE'D YOU FIRST GET THE BUG, JUDY?

I GUESS IT STARTED WITH ME

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

I WENT TO SEE A CIRCUS,

AND THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL LADY

IN PINK TIGHTS. WASN'T YOU, WAS IT?

NO. I DON'T LIKE PINK.

SHE WAS RIDING A LARGE WHITE HORSE.

ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T A PURPLE COW?

WELL, WHATEVER IT WAS, HERE I AM--

NO HORSE, NO JOB, NOT EVEN THE PINK TIGHTS.

IS MR. POWELL'S CAR CALLING FOR YOU

AT THE GROTTO TONIGHT?

MR. POWELL'S CAR CALLS FOR ME EVERY NIGHT.

I WAS JUST WONDERING. I SAW MR. POWELL

AT THE COLONIE BAR THIS AFTERNOON

WITH ANOTHER YOUNG LADY.

HOWEVER, YOU'VE DONE MUCH BETTER THAN I EXPECTED.

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D LAST THIS LONG.

IS MADAME CERTAIN

SHE HASN'T BEEN SEEING THINGS?

MADAME IS QUITE CERTAIN.

BUT YOU'LL PROBABLY GET A NOTE LATER

SAYING HE'S BEEN DETAINED ON BUSINESS.

WHEN MR. POWELL DOESN'T SEND HIS CAR,

HE ALWAYS SENDS A NOTE.

HE'S QUITE COURTEOUS THAT WAY.

THIS IS WHERE I CAME IN. LET'S GET GOING.

I EXPECT THIS TO BE THE BEST PLAY

I'VE EVER PRODUCED.

EVERY ACTRESS ON BROADWAY

HAS BEGGED TO PLAY THE PART OF JEANETTE.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

IT'S ONE OF THE BEST PARTS EVER WRITTEN.

ISN'T THAT MORE RESTFUL?

ON THE CONTRARY,

IT MAKES ME RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE.

WHY DON'T YOU RELAX

AND LET ME TELL YOU THE STORY OF THE PLAY?

GO AHEAD.

THE SCENE OPENS ON LONG ISLAND.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SPRING.

AND JEANETTE-- THAT'S THE CHARACTER

I WANT YOU TO PLAY-- IS BROKENHEARTED.

HER HUSBAND'S ABOUT TO LEAVE HER.

ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU BROUGHT ME HERE

TO DISCUSS THE PLAY?

WHY DO YOU ASK?

WELL, I'M A RATHER SUSPICIOUS PERSON.

YOU WANT TO BE A STAR, DON'T YOU?

MM-HMM. UNDER THE PROPER CIRCUMSTANCES.

WHY DON'T YOU SIT BACK ON THE COUCH?

YOU'LL BE MORE COMFORTABLE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE YOUR NAME

BLAZING ACROSS THE HORIZON--

IN BIG LETTERS,

BUT IT'S GOT TO BE A GOOD-SIZED SIGN.

I'M USED TO THAT. SO IS JEAN MAITLAND.

WHAT'S SHE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER?

I THOUGHT SO. NO.

SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL IN WHOM I TOOK AN INTEREST.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

SHE'S BECOMING MORE OR LESS OF A PEST.

SAY, WHAT ARE YOU, A DISTRICT ATTORNEY?

NOT EXACTLY.

WHAT HAS JEAN MAITLAND TO DO WITH THIS DISCUSSION?

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY THIS PART OR DON'T YOU?

I'M REALLY TREMENDOUSLY FLATTERED,

BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I CAN ACT?

BECAUSE I KNOW.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ME ON THE STAGE.

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE STAGE.

BUT I--I DID SEE YOU PERFORM IN MY OFFICE.

I WASN'T PERFORMING THAT DAY.

WELL, WHETHER YOU WERE PERFORMING OR NOT,

I DO KNOW AN ACTRESS WHEN I SEE ONE.

I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN TELL--

DO YOU EVER STOP ASKING QUESTIONS?

I'D JUST LIKE TO KNOW WHY--

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW ANYTHING.

I'LL DO THE TALKING. WHETHER YOU WERE ACTING

IN MY OFFICE OR NO, YOU DID SHOW FIRE AND EMOTION,

AND THAT'S WHAT I NEED IN THIS PART.

BUT I'M NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON.

YOU WILL BE WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU.

I'LL MOLD YOU INTO ONE.

OH, I DON'T WANT TO BE MOLDED.

I BELIEVE IN ACTING WITH MY BRAIN.

WELL, I'LL MOLD YOU ONE OF THOSE ALSO.

HARCOURT. WILL YOU HAVE SOME CHAMPAGNE?

NO, THANKS.

GO AHEAD. YOU MIND IF I DO?

[DOORBELL BUZZES]

WERE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE, SIR?

GET THE CHAMPAGNE. I'LL ANSWER THE DOOR.

DO YOU MIND IF I ANSWER THE DOOR?

WELL, HOW DID YOU GET UP HERE?

HAVE YOU GOT A WOMAN IN THIS APARTMENT?

WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

WHO HAS A BETTER RIGHT?

NOW, SEE HERE, I'M IN A VERY BAD HUMOR!

YOU GET DOWNSTAIRS THE WAY YOU GOT UP.

HOW CAN YOU SHOUT AT ME

AFTER ALL YOU PROMISED LAST NIGHT?

I'M NOT SHOUTING

AND I DIDN'T PROMISE ANYTHING!

WHERE IS SHE?

SAY, BY WHAT RIGHT

DO YOU COME CRASHING INTO THIS--

SO IT'S YOU.

HELLO.

SAY, WHAT IS THIS?

THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING.

MR. POWELL WAS JUST TELLING ME THE PLOT OF A PLAY.

SO THAT'S HOW YOU HAPPENED TO BE ON THE FLOOR.

COME ON, GET UP. THAT ISN'T WHERE I LEFT YOU.

WHAT IS THIS, A FRAME-UP?

TONY, DARLING, CONTROL YOURSELF.

DON'T TONY DARLING ME! NOW, YOU COME ON.

GET UP OUT OF THERE.

AND YOU GO HOME IMMEDIATELY.

I'LL GO HOME WHEN YOU HEAR WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY.

WELL, SAY IT AND GET IT OVER WITH.

SHE CAME UP HERE TO SIGN A CONTRACT TO DO A PLAY.

WHAT'S SHE GOING TO SIGN IT WITH, CHAMPAGNE?

HARCOURT, CALL THE MANAGER.

OH, YOU NEEDN'T GET ANY MANAGER.

I THOUGHT I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU,

BUT I SEE MY MISTAKE NOW.

I ONLY WENT OUT WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE

TO SPITE LINDA.

YES, YOU'D BETTER HIDE YOUR FACE,

YOU DOUBLE-DEALING, DOUBLE-CROSSING--

DARLING, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING.

MY OWN ROOMMATE, AND YOU PREACH IDEALS--

YOU AND YOUR GRANDFATHER.

LOOK, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE.

PREACHES IDEALS SO SHE CAN CHISEL

WHEN MY BACK IS TURNED.

WELL, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR OLD RED FOX CAPE.

I'LL NEVER BORROW ANOTHER THING AGAIN FROM YOU

AS LONG AS I LIVE,

AND DON'T TRY TO BORROW ANYTHING FROM ME, EITHER.

PLEASE DON'T START THAT AGAIN.

I HOPE YOU TWO SNAKES WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

AND YOU, TOO, YOU REPTILE.

NEVER MIND.

[SLAM]

[TERRY LAUGHING]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY? EVERYTHING.

WELL, IT ISN'T FUNNY AT ALL.

WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE SHE THINKS?

EXACTLY WHAT I WANT HER TO THINK.

BUT WHY?

WHY?

WELL, FOR SEVERAL REASONS.

IN THE FIRST PLACE, I LIKE HER.

SHE WON'T LIKE YOU VERY MUCH AFTER THIS.

OH, SHE'LL SEE THE LIGHT IN TIME.

YOU MEAN YOU'D JEOPARDIZE YOUR OWN REPUTATION?

AREN'T YOU A KIND OF A GIRL SCOUT?

JUST A GIRL WHO USES HER BRAIN.

ANYHOW, I WANTED TO SHOW YOU THAT I CAN ACT.

YOU ARE A FAKER.

OH, WE'RE BOTH FAKERS.

ISN'T FAKING THE ESSENCE OF ACTING?

WELL, IT MAY APPLY TO ACTORS,

BUT IT DOES NOT APPLY TO ME.

YOU, YOU'RE A BIGGER FAKER THAN I AM.

THAT'S LIBEL.

NOT IF I CAN PROVE IT.

NOW, THIS YOUNG MAN'S YOUR SON, ISN'T HE?

PLEASE KEEP MY FAMILY OUT OF THIS.

IF HE IS YOUR SON, HE MUST BE A LOT OLDER THAN YOU ARE,

BECAUSE THAT PHOTOGRAPH HAS BEEN USED TO ADVERTISE

A CERTAIN MILITARY ACADEMY FOR A GREAT NUMBER OF YEARS.

WELL, B-BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE MY BROTHER WENT TO THAT ACADEMY.

AND THIS LADY WHOM YOU PRETEND IS YOUR WIFE,

SHE'S DONE A LOT OF POSING

FOR THE FACE POWDER ADS, I BELIEVE.

MY FRIEND, YOU HAVE JUST BROKEN UP

A VERY, VERY CONVENIENT MARRIAGE.

I THINK THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.

NOW, WHAT ABOUT THE PLAY?

OH, YES, YES. WHERE WERE WE?

WE WERE IN LONG ISLAND.

OH, YES. THE SCENE OPENS ON LONG ISLAND.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SPRING,

AND, UH, JEANETTE-- THAT'S THE CHARACTER--

YES. THAT'S ME.

THAT'S RIGHT... IS BROKEN-HEARTED.

SHE IS ABOUT TO LOSE HER HUSBAND--

NOT EXACTLY THE WAY I JUST LOST MY WIFE, BUT, UH...

SHH!

SHE'S COMING.

Hattie: ♪ LA DA DA DEE LA DA DA DEE ♪

WHERE IS EVERYBODY, HATTIE?

I DON'T KNOW. WHERE DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE?

MADELINE TOLD ME SOMEONE DOWN HERE WANTED TO SEE ME.

IF THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE TO SEE YOU,

WE'D BETTER TURN ON THE LIGHTS AND GIVE THEM A CHANCE.

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEING PLAYED ON PIANO]

All: ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR KAYE ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪

ENOUGH CONFETTI--

I'VE GOT TO SWEEP IT UP!

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S FOR YOU, ANN.

IT'S FOR YOU, ANN.

[TOOTING HORNS]

I FEEL LIKE CRYING.

OH, NO.

I DON'T--

NO SPEECHES AT THIS BANQUET, THOUGH.

YOU SIT RIGHT HERE. YOU'RE THE GUEST OF HONOR.

I SEE YOU REMEMBERED THE RIGHT NUMBER OF YEARS.

WE WON'T TELL ON YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL ON US.

TAKE A BIG BLOW AND MAKE A WISH.

NO. WAIT A MINUTE. I HAVE TO TURN THE LIGHTS OFF.

MAKE A WISH.

QUIET, EVERYBODY.

AND DON'T TELL US WHAT IT IS. THAT'S FATAL.

I GUESS EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS

WITHOUT MY TELLING THEM.

IT'S COMING TRUE. I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.

SHE MADE IT.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, I HATE TO CUT IT.

THAT'S ONE OF HATTIE'S CAKES.

MAYBE YOU CAN'T CUT IT.

I RESENT THAT!

BE CAREFUL YOU DON'T DROP IT ON YOUR FOOT.

GIRLS, I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS.

MAYBE THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.

I'VE JUST BEEN TALKING TO TERRY RANDALL.

WHAT'S WONDERFUL ABOUT THAT NEWS?

MAYBE SHE'S HAD AN ACCIDENT.

Miss Luther: SHE'S GOING TO PLAY THE LEADING PART

IN ANTHONY POWELL'S NEW PLAY.

Eve: RANDALL?

Miss Luther: ISN'T THAT EXCITING?

AND I'VE ONLY BEEN COACHING HER SUCH A SHORT TIME.

Eve: MAYBE THAT'S WHY SHE GOT THE PART.

WHICH--WHICH PLAY IS SHE GOING TO DO?

HIS NEW PLAY.

ENCHANTED APRIL? YES.

THE PART OF JEANETTE?

ISN'T IT HARD TO BELIEVE?

PERHAPS YOU GIRLS WILL CHANGE YOUR OPINION

OF MISS RANDALL AFTER THIS.

PERHAPS YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR OPINION OF ME, TOO.

AND PERHAPS YOU'LL PAY MORE ATTENTION

TO YOUR THEATRICAL TRAINING.

POOR KID. WE CAN'T EVEN HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY

WITHOUT RANDALL

OR SOMETHING ELSE CRABBING IT.

WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE RANDALL ALONE?

SHE HASN'T HARMED ANYONE.

NO, BUT SHE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE SHE'S READY TO START.

OLGA'S RIGHT. SHE HASN'T HARMED ANYONE.

ALL SHE DID WAS STEAL THE PART YOU WANTED TO DO.

IT WASN'T MY PART BECAUSE I WANTED IT.

LAST YEAR I TOOK A PART AWAY FROM A GIRL

WHO WANTED IT.

NO, THIS IS DIFFERENT.

IT ISN'T DIFFERENT.

ISN'T THERE ENOUGH HEARTACHE IN THE THEATER

WITHOUT OUR HATING EACH OTHER?

HONEY, YOU'RE CRYING.

I'M CRYING BECAUSE I'M HAPPY.

I'VE HAD MY MOMENT IN THE THEATER,

AND I THINK TERRY DESERVES HER CHANCE.

IF YOU SAY ANYTHING TO HER,

THAT WON'T GET THE PART FOR ME, WILL IT?

THERE'S GOING TO BE OTHER PARTS AND OTHER PLAYS.

THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY AND I'M GOING TO BE HAPPY!

THE DEVIL WITH THE THEATER!

[SOBBING]

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS, PLACES, PLEASE.

WE'LL TAKE THIS SCENE OVER AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING.

GO RIGHT AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

HERE SHE IS NOW, COMING UP THE GARDEN PATH.

OH, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SAY TO HER?

I DON'T KNOW.

THE POOR CHILD--SHE'S PROBABLY BROKENHEARTED.

YOU BETTER LET ME TALK TO HER FIRST.

WELL? COME ON, MISS RANDALL, THIS IS YOUR CUE!

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW

THAT YOU WERE REHEARSING AGAIN.

IN THE THEATER, MISS RANDALL,

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO COME IN ON CUE.

YES, BUT THERE ARE SOME MEN OUT THERE

FOOLING AROUND WITH ROPES AND THINGS.

WOULD YOU ASK THEM TO STOP?

WE FIND IT NECESSARY IN THE THEATER

TO HAVE MEN FOOLING AROUND

WITH ROPES AND THINGS, MISS RANDALL.

NOW, IF YOU'D JUST PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR CUES

AND NOT CONTRADICT SO MANY TIMES,

YOU MIGHT GET BETTER RESULTS.

YOU NEEDN'T BE SARCASTIC ABOUT IT.

I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY.

NOW GET OUT AND COME IN ON CUE.

ALL RIGHT. DON'T GET EXCITED,

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

I JUST CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING WITH THESE PEOPLE...

ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

THE POOR CHILD--

SHE'S PROBABLY BROKENHEARTED.

YOU BETTER LET ME TALK TO HER FIRST.

[MONOTONE] HELLO, MOTHER. HELLO, DAD. HELLO, KATE.

THE CALLA LILIES ARE IN BLOOM AGAIN.

SUCH A STRANGE FLOWER-- SUITABLE TO ANY OCCASION.

I CARRIED THEM ON MY WEDDING DAY

AND NOW I PLACE THEM HERE

IN MEMORY OF SOMETHING THAT HAS DIED.

Dad: HE NEEDS A GOOD THRASHING.

Mother: YOU POOR CHILD.

ARE YOU GATHERED HERE TO MOURN,

OR HAVE YOU COME TO BRING ME COMFORT?

YOU KNOW, THERE'S STILL SOMETHING

NOT QUITE RIGHT ABOUT THAT LINE.

YOU MIGHT LEARN TO READ IT CORRECTLY.

THAT WOULD HELP.

I DON'T SEE WHY YOU SHOULD OBJECT

TO AN INTELLIGENT SUGGESTION.

I'VE WRITTEN SEVERAL IMPORTANT PLAYS, MISS RANDALL.

ONE OF THEM RECEIVED THE PULITZER PRIZE.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANY PLAYS?

THERE'S AN OLD SAYING

THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A HEN TO KNOW A BAD EGG.

NOW, MISS RANDALL, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE PLAY.

NOW, I'LL EXPLAIN THIS SCENE TO YOU ONCE AGAIN.

THIS WOMAN'S HUSBAND HAS DECIDED TO LEAVE HER,

AND SHE'S BROKENHEARTED.

NOW, CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

YES, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT,

BUT YOU TOLD ME TO BE LIGHT AND SOPHISTICATED.

Director: ON THE SURFACE!

BUT INSIDE, HERE, YOUR HEART IS BROKEN.

THERE'S A SMILE ON YOUR FACE

AND YOU'RE CRYING IN YOUR HEART.

WELL, I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN DO

TWO THINGS AT THE SAME TIME.

I REFUSE TO SIT QUIETLY BY AND SEE MY PLAY BUTCHERED.

MR. POWELL, AS LONG AS EVERYONE AROUND HERE

IS PUTTING IN THEIR TWO CENTS' WORTH

SOMEWHAT PROMISCUOUSLY,

I SHOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT I HAVE

A BROADWAY REPUTATION TO CONSIDER.

I DON'T SEE

WHAT YOUR BROADWAY REPUTATION HAS TO DO

WITH WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

GIVE ME A LIGHT, WILL YOU?

HMM? Powell: MISS RANDALL.

I'LL HAVE TO ASK YOU

TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE DIRECTOR.

WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.

WALK AROUND LIKE A PUPPET OR USE MY INTELLIGENCE?

YOU'RE TO DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!

Terry: DON'T YELL AT ME!

I AM YELLING AT YOU!

ALL RIGHT. I, UH...

IF YOU THINK I'M SO TERRIBLE,

WHY DID YOU HIRE ME FOR THE PART?

THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!

TEMPORARY INSANITY, PROBABLY.

NOW GO AHEAD AND DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!

WELL--I--THE--

GO AHEAD AND DO IT!

I AM DOING IT,

BUT THE ONLY THING THAT I'D JUST LIKE TO MAKE--

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN COACHING THIS GIRL?

I'VE ONLY HAD HER A MONTH.

INCREDIBLE. NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY

GET THAT BAD IN A MONTH'S TIME.

WOULD YOU MIND A SUGGESTION?

ANYTHING, PLEASE.

I WAS WONDERING...

COULD YOU POSSIBLY SEE AN OLDER WOMAN

IN THE PART?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

WHERE'S THIS FELLOW CARMICHAEL?

I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS CONTRACT SOMEHOW.

HE OUGHT TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

THERE HE IS NOW.

Terry: HI, MOTHER. HELLO, DAD. HELLO, KATE.

CALLA LILIES ARE IN BLOOM AGAIN. SUCH A STRANGE FLOWER...

WELL, MR. POWELL, HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?

I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS CONTRACT.

I'M AFRAID THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS CLIENT OF YOURS?

THE HEAD OF SOME COMBINE TRYING TO RUIN ME?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU LISTEN TO THIS REHEARSAL AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

ISN'T SHE TURNING OUT AS WELL AS YOU EXPECTED?

SHE MAY HAVE POSSIBILITIES,

BUT RIGHT NOW SHE'S A RANK AMATEUR,

ABOUT AS EMOTIONAL AS A FISH,

AND SHE'S A NUISANCE IN THE BARGAIN. SHE QUESTIONS EVERYONE--

THE DIRECTOR, THE WRITER, THE ACTORS.

I DON'T SEE HOW THIS PLAY

IS GOING TO BE ANYTHING BUT A FLOP.

IS THAT SO?

WELL, YOU SEEM TO BE PLEASED ABOUT IT.

WELL, AFTER ALL, IT'S MY CLIENT'S MONEY.

BUT I TOLD YOU I'D GIVE YOU THE MONEY BACK

AND SOME TO BOOT IF YOU LET ME OUT OF THE CONTRACT.

I'M SORRY.

IS YOUR CLIENT, BY ANY CHANCE,

IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL?

WELL... TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,

I BELIEVE HE IS.

IT TAKES ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE TO MAKE A WORLD.

Terry: MR. POWELL!

COMING. COMING!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING HE SAID.

HE TELLS ME TO LAUGH AND CRY AT THE SAME TIME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

THAT'S PLAIN TO BE SEEN. NOW, COME ON.

LET'S GET THIS THING ORGANIZED HERE.

GO AHEAD AND GET IT ORGANIZED...

[PIANO PLAYS]

DO YOU THINK MY DRESS IS FANCY ENOUGH

TO WEAR TO OPENING NIGHT?

FOR RANDALL'S OPENING, YOU OUGHT TO WEAR BLACK.

OH, HUSH. SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO GIVE US FREE TICKETS.

SHE WANTED TO BE SURE SOMEONE WAS IN THE AUDIENCE.

OOH. "OH, THE NIGHT WAS GROWING OLD

AS SHE TRUDGED THROUGH SNOW AND SLEET."

"HER NOSE WAS LONG AND COLD...

Both: "AND HER SHOES WERE FULL OF FEET."

LOOK. DON'T YOU LIKE MY DRESS?

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S PRETTY?

WELL, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

YOUR MOTHER SEND IT TO YOU FROM LOUISIANA?

OH, YES. SHE MAKES ALL MY CLOTHES.

WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS THERE? PECANS?

NO. JUST DOODADS.

GOT TO HAVE 35 CENTS.

FOR WHAT?

FOR TERRY'S FLOWERS.

OH, DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

COME ON. COUGH UP.

WE'VE ONLY GOT $3.85.

WE NEED AS MUCH AS WE CAN GET.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL GIVE A DOLLAR IF IT'S FOR HER FUNERAL.

SHE TRIES HARDER TO HATE PEOPLE

THAN ANYONE I KNOW.

HERE. KEEP THE CHANGE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE SO FOND OF FEUDS, YOU OUGHT TO LIVE

IN THE KENTUCKY MOUNTAINS.

COME ON. WE HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME TO EAT.

GOT TO STOP AT THE FLORIST ON THE WAY.

THIS WILL BE MY 35th PERFORMANCE

AS A SPECTATOR.

CHEER UP, MARY LOU. SOMEDAY THE PEOPLE ON THE STAGE

WILL SIT AND WATCH THE AUDIENCE AND YOU'LL BE A SENSATION.

Mary Lou: OH, HUSH.

SO LONG, STRINGBEAN.

I SHALL SEE YOU AT THE THEATER.

HEY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CATCH

THE OPENING TONIGHT, HUH?

NO. I'M GOING TOMORROW AND CATCH THE CLOSING.

YOU GALS TALK AS THOUGH YOU WANT HER TO BE A FLOP.

NOT EXACTLY,

BUT AS LONG AS SHE'S GONNA BE A FLOP,

I'M GONNA BE THERE AND SEE IT.

SHE'S SORE BECAUSE TERRY

TOOK MY BOYFRIEND AWAY FROM HER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BOYFRIEND?

TIRED LITTLE BOYFRIEND.

YOU KNOW, SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO BE LUCKY

AND RUN INTO YOU WHEN I'M CARRYING

A BOWL OF GOLDFISH, TOOTS.

WHOO! GET ME. AIN'T I THE ONE?

OOH, LOOK AT HER.

WILL YOU SEW ME INTO THIS?

I'LL GET OUT OF IT BY MYSELF.

GEE, YOU LOOK ALL DRESSED UP.

I AM DRESSED UP.

ARE YOU GOING ALONE?

NOT MACKINTOSH. I GOT A BEAU.

WHO? WHO?

THE BUTCHER'S HELPER.

HE WAS A LITTLE HARD TO BREAK DOWN,

BUT AFTER I TOLD HIM I HAD PASSES,

HE NEARLY CUT HIS THUMB OFF IN THE EXCITEMENT.

WHY CAN'T I GET A BUTCHER? [DOORBELL RINGS]

BE STILL, MY HEART. MAYBE THAT'S HIM NOW.

HATTIE, THIS IS YOUR NIGHT.

YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.

I'LL GET THE DOOR.

YOU GET HER OUT OF HERE.

HEY, HATTIE, HAVE A HEART!

HELLO!

HELLO. IT'S RAINING.

OH. IS THAT WHAT IT'S DOING?

KIND OF WET.

YEAH, RAIN USUALLY IS THIS TIME OF YEAR.

HATTIE WILL BE RIGHT OUT.

SAY, BUTCH, I WANT YOU TO MEET MISS FARNSBARN,

MISS FANNISBESS, MISS FRANCE, AND MISS DUFF.

HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME WAS BUTCH?

OH, SAME WAY YOU KNEW IT WAS RAINING.

SAY, BUTCH, THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, ONE OF THESE DAYS

WHEN HATTIE COMES DOWN TO THE MARKET

TO GET SOME OF THAT NICE LAMB, YOUR HAND SHOULD SLIP

A LITTLE CHICKEN RIGHT IN THERE WITH THAT LAMB.

GIRLS, ISN'T HE HANDSOME?

YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE THAT

FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND OTHER PEOPLE

DO THINGS LIKE THAT FOR SOME PEOPLE,

AND I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT, DON'T YOU?

WHY DON'T YOU COME IN AND GET THE MEAT SOMETIME?

OH, I WILL.

YOU KNOW, I WAS DOWNTOWN THE OTHER DAY.

I WAS TELLING THE GIRLS THAT I SAW YOU STANDING IN THE WINDOW,

AND YOU HAD YOUR WHITE COAT ON, AND YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

I'D LIKE TO TURN MY BACK ON YOU SOMETIME

WHEN YOU HAVE A HANDFUL OF KNIVES.

OH, HATTIE, BUTCH IS WONDERFUL.

HE'S PROMISED THE NEXT TIME YOU GO SHOPPING

TO GET SOME CHICKEN ALL MIXED UP IN THE LAMB. REMEMBER, BUTCH?

NO, I DIDN'T EXACTLY--

HATTIE, DON'T DO ANYTHING A BUTCHER CAN DO.

I'LL DO SOMETHING FOR YOU SOMETIME.

I'LL PUT POISON IN YOUR SOUP.

HEY, BUTCH, YOU GOT A FRIEND?

UH-UH.

HE SAYS UH-UH.

THE, UM...

UH, CALLA LILIES ARE IN BLOOM AGAIN.

SUCH A STRANGE FLOWER-- SUITABLE FOR EVERY OCCASION.

UH...I CARRIED THEM ON MY WEDDING DAY,

AND NOW I PLACE THEM HERE

IN MEMORY OF SOMETHING THAT HAS DIED.

CUE FROM HIM-- ARE YOU GATHERED HERE TO MOURN,

OR HAVE YOU COME TO--

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO REST.

OH, I CAN'T REMEMBER A LINE!

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T.

NOBODY CAN AN HOUR BEFORE CURTAIN TIME

ON OPENING NIGHT.

WHEN YOU PUT YOUR FOOT ON THAT STAGE,

IT WILL ALL COME BACK AS IF BY MAGIC.

SUPPOSE THEY DON'T COME BACK?

OH, THEY'LL COME. SOMEHOW THEY ALWAYS DO.

HAVE SOME TEA--

NO, DARLING. REALLY, I COULDN'T EAT ANYTHING.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE SWEET.

DEAR, I'LL LEAVE THE TEA HERE.

THE CALLA LILIES ARE IN-- I CAN'T REMEMBER THAT.

CALLA LILIES ARE IN BLOOM, BLOOM, BLOOM, BLOOM.

SUCH A STRANGE FLOWER.

UH...THEY SEEM TO BE USEFUL ON--

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IN THE DICKENS THEY'RE USEFUL ON OCCASION.

I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO REMEMBER--

KAYE.

THE DOCTOR TOLD YOU TO STAY IN BED.

I'M NOT GOING TO STAY IN BED

WITH ALL THIS EXCITEMENT GOING ON.

BUT YOU MUSTN'T DISOBEY ORDERS.

I WAS GOING TO COME AND SEE YOU BEFORE I LEFT.

KEEP HER CHEERFUL, KAYE. SHE'S GOT FIRST-NIGHT NERVES.

YOU KNOW. YOU'VE HAD THEM.

I MUST HURRY ALONG AND GET MY--

YOUR COAT AND GALOSHES ARE THERE.

OH, YES. THANK YOU.

AND, DEAR, DON'T LET HER DO ANY MORE REHEARSING.

I'LL SIT ON HER.

IT WOULD BE RAINING IN THE BARGAIN.

IT'S-- IT'S THAT FIRST SPEECH.

IF I COULD ONLY GET THROUGH THAT,

I'D BE ALL RIGHT.

WOULD YOU MIND WATCHING, KAYE?

UM, THE CALLA LILIES ARE IN BLOOM AGAIN.

SUCH A STRANGE FLOWER-- SUITABLE TO ANY OCCASION.

MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION?

I WISH YOU WOULD.

THE WAY YOU HOLD THE FLOWERS--

I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT

THAT JEANETTE WOULD HOLD THEM

AS SHE WOULD A CHILD.

THEY NEVER HAD A CHILD, YOU SEE, AND--

OH, I SEE.

DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT'S WHAT THE AUTHOR INTENDED?

I'M SURE HE DID.

AND WHEN SHE SAYS,

"IN MEMORY OF SOMETHING THAT HAS DIED," SHE--

KAYE, YOU KNOW THIS PLAY.

IT'S NOT A PLAY!

IT REALLY HAPPENED... TO SOMEONE I KNOW.

DARLING, YOU MUSTN'T DO THAT.

THIS ISN'T JUST YOUR NIGHT. IT'S MY NIGHT, TOO.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE A SUCCESS TONIGHT.

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE A GREAT PERFORMANCE...

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?

NO. I'M JUST EXCITED, THAT'S ALL.

HERE, YOU SIT DOWN AND I'LL GET YOU SOME TEA.

THE CONDEMNED WOMAN DRANK A HEARTY SUPPER.

I FELT THE SAME WAY.

I FELT LIKE RUNNING AND HIDING FROM EVERYONE.

BUT AFTER THAT OPENING SPEECH,

THERE'S A THRILL YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

IT'S A THRILL THAT ONLY COMES ONCE.

THRILL? I CAN'T MAKE OUT

WHETHER IT'S A THRILL OR AGONY.

IT'S BOTH.

Miss Luther: AREN'T YOU READY YET?

COME. WE'LL HAVE TO HURRY.

WELL, HERE I GO.

IT'S THE OPENING NIGHT, YOU KNOW.

BE QUICK, DEAR.

WISH HER LUCK, KAYE.

YES, DARLING, WISH ME LUCK.

GOOD-BYE.

TERRY!

I WANT TO GIVE YOU THIS.

A GIRL GAVE IT TO ME LAST YEAR ON MY OPENING NIGHT

AND IT BROUGHT ME LUCK.

DARLING, YOU'RE SWEET.

I WISH YOU WERE GOING TO BE THERE

TO HOLD MY HAND.

I'LL BE THERE... IN SPIRIT.

Miss Luther: ARE YOU COMING OR ARE YOU NOT?

WELL...

[WOMAN SINGING]

HERE SHE COMES.

[EXCITED CHATTER]

GOOD LUCK! GOOD-BYE, TERRY. GOOD LUCK.

[ECHOING] GOOD LUCK. GOOD LUCK. GOOD LUCK.

Man: 5 MINUTES TO CURTAIN.

5 MINUTES, MISS HAMILTON, PLEASE. 5 MINUTES.

DON'T WORRY, MISS HAMILTON. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE.

PLACES NOW. PLACES, PLEASE. READY, EVERYBODY.

ARE YOU READY, MISS HAMILTON?

IT'S A BOUGHT-OUT HOUSE.

EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD'S OUT THERE.

YOU HAVEN'T A THING TO WORRY ABOUT.

Woman: GOOD LUCK.

Man: ALL RIGHT, NOW. STAND BY, PLEASE.

EVERYBODY IN THEIR PLACES NOW. READY, MISS HAMILTON?

[APPLAUSE]

YOU HEAR THAT?

THAT'S ALL FOR YOU. THIS IS YOUR NHT.

[APPLAUSE GROWS LOUDER]

♪ JUST GIVE ME A SAILBOAT ♪

♪ IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪

♪ AND YOU ♪

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[HYSTERICAL CRYING]

WHO'S THAT?

OHH! KAYE--IT'S KAYE!

SHE JUMPED BEFORE I COULD STOP HER.

KAYE JUMPED?

SHE'S LYING OUT THERE IN THE RAIN.

CALLING CAR 19. CALLING CAR 19.

GO TO 87 WEST 58th STREET. AMBULANCE CALL.

GIRL LEAPED OUT WINDOW.

POSSIBLE SUICIDE.

MORRIS TALKING.

GOOD EVENING, MR. POWELL.

GOOD EVENING.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE A PACKED HOUSE.

THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN STORE FOR THEM.

LOOKS LIKE THE BOYFRIEND.

THIS IS A VERY BAD PLACE TO STAND.

WHY?

WE'RE LIKELY TO BE TRAMPLED TO DEATH

WHEN THEY START RUNNING OUT.

POOR DARLING.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD HER.

SHE ISN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR KAYE'S ACT.

SHE IS RESPONSIBLE.

IT WAS KAYE'S PART. IT WAS KAYE'S LIFE!

BUT NOW IT'S TOO LATE.

KAYE IS DEAD.

PLEASE.

KAYE IS DEAD...

KAYE, WHO NEVER HARMED ANYONE.

IT'S ALL BECAUSE SHE HASN'T ANY HEART,

BECAUSE SHE'S MADE OUT OF ICE.

I CAN'T LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE. YOU MUST LEAVE.

OH, I'M LEAVING.

I'M GOING TO GO SIT OUT FRONT

BECAUSE KAYE ASKED ME TO BE THERE.

AND THEN EVERY LINE SHE READS,

I'M GOING TO SAY, "THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN KAYE'S LINE."

AND EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE,

I'M GOING TO SAY, "THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN KAYE."

KAYE, WHO'S LYING IN A MORGUE, ALL BROKEN AND ALONE.

I DARE YOU TO GO ON TONIGHT.

I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

I'M NOT GOING ON.

YOU'VE GOT TO GO ON!

WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME?

I'D HAVE GIVEN UP A THOUSAND PARTS

RATHER THAN HAVE THIS HAPPEN.

I'M GOING TO GO OUT THERE AND TELL THEM

I'M NOT GOING TO GO ON, AND I'M GOING TO TELL THEM WHY.

YOU CAN'T THINK ONLY OF YOURSELF.

KAYE IS DEAD.

YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

I CAN'T.

THERE ARE 50 LIVING PEOPLE DEPENDENT ON YOU.

THIS SHOW MAY MEAN AS MUCH TO THEM AS IT MEANT TO KAYE.

THE USHERS, THE PROPERTY MEN,

THE OLD WOMEN WHO CLEAN OUT THE THEATER--

EACH ONE OF THEM HAS THE RIGHT TO DEMAND

THAT YOU GIVE AS GOOD A PERFORMANCE AS YOU CAN.

THAT'S THE TRADITION OF THE THEATER.

OH! HANG THE TRADITION OF THE THEATER!

I'M THINKING OF KAYE.

VERY WELL, THEN THINK OF KAYE.

ARE YOU GOING TO LET HER DOWN?

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE THE PERFORMANCE SHE WANTED YOU TO GIVE.

THEN PERHAPS, WHEREVER SHE IS, YOU MAY BRING HER PEACE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Man: 3 MINUTES TO CURTAIN.

MISS RANDALL, 3 MINUTES TO CURTAIN.

ALL RIGHT. WE'RE COMING. WE'RE READY.

PICK YOUR EXIT. IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.

HERE SHE IS NOW, COMING UP THE GARDEN PATH.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SAY TO HER?

I DON'T KNOW.

THE POOR CHILD--

SHE'S PROBABLY BROKENHEARTED.

YOU'D BETTER LET ME TALK TO HER FIRST.

HELLO, MOTHER. HELLO, DAD.

THE CALLA LILIES ARE IN BLOOM AGAIN.

SUCH A STRANGE FLOWER...

SUITABLE TO ANY OCCASION.

I CARRIED THEM ON MY WEDDING DAY,

AND NOW I PLACE THEM HERE

IN MEMORY OF SOMETHING THAT HAS DIED.

Dad: HE NEEDS A GOOD THRASHING.

Mother: YOU POOR CHILD.

HAVE YOU GATHERED HERE TO MOURN,

OR ARE YOU HERE TO BRING ME COMFORT?

HOW COULD A GIRL LIKE YOU

FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN LIKE THAT?

I'VE LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE

THAT I NEVER KNEW BEFORE...

I NEVER KNEW BEFORE.

YOU SPEAK OF LOVE WHEN IT'S TOO LATE.

HELP SHOULD COME TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY NEED IT.

WHY ARE WE ALWAYS SO HELPFUL TO EACH OTHER

WHEN IT'S NO LONGER ANY USE?

MY DARLING...

THOSE ARE NOT THE LINES.

NO, BUT IT'S THE MOOD.

Terry: THIS IS MY HOME. THIS IS WHERE I BELONG.

LOVE WAS IN THIS HOUSE ONCE,

AND FOR ME IT WILL ALWAYS BE HERE--NOWHERE ELSE.

Dad: SURELY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEE HIM.

Terry: OF COURSE I'M GOING TO SEE HIM.

HE'S COMING TO ME TODAY TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

SAY GOOD-BYE.

AND ONE SHOULD ALWAYS LISTEN CLOSELY

WHEN PEOPLE SAY GOOD-BYE

BECAUSE SOMETIMES THEY'RE--

THEY'RE REALLY SAYING FAREWELL.

[APPLAUSE]

LISTEN. I'M UP AT THE THEATER IN POWELL'S PRIVATE OFFICE.

GET A COUPLE OF PHOTOGRAPHERS OVER HERE RIGHT AWAY

AND DON'T ARGUE WITH ME.

THIS RANDALL GIRL'S GOING OVER BIG.

HEAR THE APPLAUSE?

DID YOU HEAR IT?

AND WAIT TILL I TELL YOU WHO SHE IS.

BOY, THIS IS PLENTY HOT.

LOVE COMES BACK TO ITS ANCIENT DWELLING.

THE OLD, OLD LOVE THAT WE KNEW OF YORE.

[APPLAUSE]

TERRY RANDALL!

WHAT'D I SAY? WHAT'D I SAY?

COME ON, COME ON.

HOLD IT.

TAKE A BOW.

YEAH, COME ON. THEY WANT YOU.

THEY'RE CALLING FOR YOU.

WHO'S CALLING FOR ME?

YOU ARE A SUCCESS, DARLING.

THEY WANT A CURTAIN SPEECH.

THEY DO?

YES, YES. GO ON. SAY SOMETHING.

I SUPPOSE THAT I SHOULD THANK YOU

ON BEHALF OF THE COMPANY,

AND I KNOW THAT I'M GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR YOUR APPLAUSE,

BUT I MUST TELL YOU THAT I DON'T DESERVE IT.

I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED

ON THIS STAGE TONIGHT.

THE PERSON YOU SHOULD BE APPLAUDING...

[VOICE BREAKS] DIED A FEW HOURS AGO--

A YOUNG AND BRILLIANT ACTRESS

WHO COULD NO LONGER FIND A SPOT IN THE THEATER.

AND IT WAS FOR HER, MORE THAN FOR ANYONE ELSE,

THAT I WAS ABLE TO GO ON,

AND I HOPE THAT WHEREVER SHE IS,

SHE KNOWS AND UNDERSTANDS AND...FORGIVES.

[APPLAUSE]

Man: THAT'S THE ODDEST CURTAIN SPEECH I EVER HEARD.

HELLO, POWELL.

HELLO. HOW'D YOU LIKE THE SHOW?

A LITTLE HEAVY, BUT THE GIRL'S GOOD.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF TIME

WAS THAT CURTAIN SPEECH ALL ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS ABOUT, BUT SHE'S A SENSATION,

AND I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING ELSE.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT GUY WITH CARMICHAEL IS HER FATHER.

AND THE LAUGH'S ON US.

HE'S NOBODY BUT HENRY SIMMS, THE WHEAT KING.

WHEAT KING? WHAT A PUBLICITY HOOKUP.

DON'T WORRY, I SPREAD IT AROUND. THERE'S THE OLD MAN NOW.

WELL, CARMICHAEL, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING SO BLUE ABOUT?

WE'VE GOT A HIT ON OUR HANDS.

THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.

I NEVER DOUBTED IT A MINUTE. YOU MIGHT INTRODUCE ME.

OH, YES. MR. POWELL--

GLAD TO KNOW YOU, MR. SIMMS.

YOU DIDN'T FOOL ME FOR A MINUTE.

I KNEW WHO YOUR DAUGHTER WAS ALL THE TIME.

TO BE HONEST, MR. POWELL,

THIS HASN'T WORKED OUT THE WAY I EXPECTED.

WELL, CHEER UP.

YOUR INVESTMENT WILL NET YOU A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS.

WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO ME IF I LOSE MY DAUGHTER?

WELL, THAT'S THE PRICE OF SUCCESS. HA HA HA!

OH, BRENT, I FORGOT. GET A BIG BASKET OF FLOWERS

AND SEND IT TO RANDALL'S DRESSING ROOM RIGHT AWAY.

PUT THIS ON TOP. HURRY IT UP.

SHALL I PUT A FEW SPRIGS OF WHEAT IN IT?

NEVER MIND THE SARCASM. GO ON. HURRY.

OH, ELSWORTH!

YOU'RE JUST THE MAN I'M LOOKING FOR.

I KIND OF PUT IT OVER ON THE BOYS, DIDN'T I?

YOU MEAN THE WHEAT KING'S DAUGHTER?

YES.

SHE DOESN'T NEED THAT KIND OF PUBLICITY.

I KNOW IT. THAT'S WHY I KEPT IT QUIET.

SHE HAS RATHER A STRANGE QUALITY.

REMINDS ME VERY MUCH OF THAT GIRL

YOU BROUGHT OUT LAST YEAR.

YES?

WHAT WAS HER NAME? OH, HAMILTON. HAMILTON.

YES. MISS KAYE HAMILTON.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HER?

SHE'S STILL AROUND.

STRANGE QUALITY.

DON'T FORGET TO MENTION IN YOUR REVIEW

THAT RANDALL IS ANOTHER ANTHONY POWELL DISCOVERY.

MY DEAR, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW GOOD YOU WERE TONIGHT.

YOU WERE SIMPLY WONDERFUL.

THAT WASN'T ME OUT THERE TONIGHT.

IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE.

IT'S ONLY AFTER WE HAVE SUFFERED

THAT WE CAN MAKE THE AUDIENCE FEEL WITH US.

DOES SOMEONE HAVE TO DIE TO CREATE AN ACTRESS?

IS THAT WHAT THE THEATER DEMANDS?

IT TAKES MORE THAN GREASEPAINT AND FOOTLIGHTS

TO MAKE AN ACTRESS.

IT TAKES HEARTBREAK AS WELL.

[DOOR OPENS]

DON'T TRY TO SAY ANYTHING.

WE'LL GO TO HER.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WE'RE GOING TO SEE KAYE.

BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW. THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE--

THE PRESS, PHOTOGRAPHERS.

YOU'RE AN ACTRESS NOW. YOU BELONG TO THOSE PEOPLE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] Man: MAY I COME IN?

YOU SEE THEM FOR ME.

BUT--TERRY, I...

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

HELLO! HELLO! ANYONE THERE?

COMING, COMING, COMING!

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER LET ME IN.

WHERE'S MISS RANDALL?

SHE'S GONE.

GONE? BUT I'VE GOT AN OFFICE FULL OF PEOPLE--

REPORTERS, SOCIETY EDITORS, PHOTOGRAPHERS!

WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP HER HERE?

YOU KNOW THE THEATER BETTER THAN THAT!

SHE HAD AN ENGAGEMENT SHE COULDN'T BREAK.

AN ENGAGEMENT?

WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN HER CAREER?

WELL, IT ISN'T MY FAULT.

OF ALL THE COLOSSAL NERVE!

I BUILD A STAR OVERNIGHT AND SHE RUNS OUT ON ME!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?

I'VE GOT AN OFFICE FULL OF PEOPLE

AND SHE RUNS OFF SOMEWHERE

ON SOME KIND OF A DATE OR SOMETHING.

WHAT'LL I DO WITH THESE?

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM.

GET THEM OUT OF HERE!

WAIT A MINUTE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE? OF ALL THE COLOSSAL NERVE.

TAKE A WOMAN OUT OF A WHEAT FIELD

AND MAKE A STAR OUT OF HER.

WELL, I DON'T DESERVE ANY BETTER.

OPENING NIGHT, TOO.

THAT'S GRATITUDE FOR YOU.

SPEND TIME AND EFFORT TO BUILD A PRODUCTION,

AND THEY RUN OUT ON YOU!

I HAVEN'T ANY SENSE TO BEGIN WITH.

WORK WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT...

[HUMMING]

DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD, EVE.

IT ALL MAY BE A MISTAKE.

I'LL NEVER PUT MY TRUST IN MALES AGAIN.

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO EVE?

SHE'S BROKENHEARTED. HENRY'S IN THE CAT HOSPITAL.

AN ACCIDENT?

HE JUST HAD A LITTER OF KITTENS.

WELL, THAT'S EASY TO SOLVE. CHANGE HIS NAME TO HENRIETTA.

I'M COMPLETELY DISCOURAGED.

THE MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED.

MARY LOU'S GOT A PART.

NO! WHERE?

BERGEN'S NEW SHOW.

THE SOUTHERN ACCENT DID IT.

I'M SO THRILLED, I WANT TO SCREAM. AAH!

DO YOU FEEL BETTER?

READ YOUR PART, MARY LOU.

OH, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRL FROM THE SOUTH,

AND I'M WITH A LOT OF OTHER GIRLS,

AND I SAY, "LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER."

GO ON.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT?

WELL, YOU DON'T READ IT RIGHT.

YOU SHOULD SAY, "LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER."

Eve: OH, NO, JEAN, THAT'S ALL WRONG.

YOU'VE GOT TO SAY, "LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER."

Joan: LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER.

All: LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER.

LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER.

LET'S GO UP TO WESTCHESTER.

Hattie: HEY, EVERYBODY!

HERE COMES THAT BLUSHING BRIDE.

[CHEERING]

♪ HERE COMES THE BRIDE ♪

♪ DA DA DA DA ♪

GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY.

I GOT TO CATCH A 6:00 TRAIN.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING

AND, YOU KNOW, THE SHOWER AND ALL.

AND IF ANY OF YOU HAMS HAPPEN TO COME UP TO SEATTLE,

THE HOUSE OF MILBANK IS ALWAYS OPEN TO YOU.

I THOUGHT THE PEOPLE OUT THERE LIVED IN TREES.

ONLY IN THE SUMMERTIME.

IN THE WINTERTIME, WE LIVE IN BURROWS.

OK. SHE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

YOUR BRIDEGROOM WON'T HOLD THAT TAXICAB

IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP.

WELL, GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY.

NOW THAT I'M GOING,

I FEEL LIKE HAVING A GOOD CRY.

SAY, YOU SHOULD WEEP.

IT'S THE FIRST JOB YOU'VE HAD IN A YEAR.

CHEER UP. WE'RE ALL GONNA COME

TO YOUR WOODEN ANNIVERSARY. COME ON. HEAVE.

All: ♪ HERE GOES THE BRIDE ♪

♪ HERE GOES THE BRIDE ♪

GO BACK TO SEATTLE.

SEND US AN OLD WOODEN SHOE, MAYBE.

POOR KID. WHY SHE HATED TO LEAVE

A DUMP LIKE THIS IS A MYSTERY.

OH, I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS.

TO ME, IT WOULD BE LIKE LEAVING

THE HOUSE WHERE I WAS BORN.

AT LEAST SHE'LL HAVE A COUPLE OF KIDS

TO KEEP HER COMPANY IN HER OLD AGE,

AND WHAT'LL WE HAVE?

SOME BROKEN-DOWN MEMORIES AND AN OLD SCRAPBOOK,

WHICH NOBODY WILL LOOK AT.

WE'RE PROBABLY A DIFFERENT RACE OF PEOPLE.

MAYBE.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

TONIGHT I FEEL LIKE SITTING OUT IN THE MOONLIGHT

HAVING SOMEBODY HOLD MY HAND.

GOOD EVENING.

WHO DO I SEE ABOUT ACCOMMODATIONS?

MISS ORCUTT!

SHE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU. COME IN.

THANK YOU.

HELLO? HELLO, BILL.

DON'T BE SENTIMENTAL. REMEMBER, YOU'RE A HAM AT HEART.

NO, THAT WASN'T ME. IT WAS A FRIEND OF MINE.

UH, HOW'S THE NEW JOB COMING ON?

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CARRY A MESSAGE

TO YOUR LATE, LAMENTED AUNT SUSAN?

HOLD ON. GANGRENE JUST SET IN.

NO MESSAGE. I DON'T USE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D ASK. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF MAYBE

YOU'D LIKE TO TAKE AN OLD GIRLFRIEND OUT...

A GIRL JUST LEFT YESTERDAY. I THINK YOU'LL BE INTERESTED IN THIS.

IT'S ONE OF THE FEATURES OF THE FOOTLIGHTS CLUB.

IT'S THE CHAIR BERNHARDT SAT IN

WHEN SHE MET QUEEN ELIZABETH OVER HERE.

I WAS IN THE COMPANY.

I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT HERE-- IT'S LIKE ONE GREAT BIG FAMILY.

I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR ROOM.

ONE OF THE GIRLS GOT MARRIED, YOU KNOW.