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Previously on The Big C...
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- What's this?
- I have a lump.
3
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- Where?
- On my ass.
4
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I realise this all isn't very sexy.
5
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I find everything about you sexy.
6
00:00:11,962 --> 00:00:12,963
What happened to you?
7
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,734
Someone tried to steal my sleeping bag.
8
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I want to take care of you.
Please, let me do that.
9
00:00:17,425 --> 00:00:20,395
- Sean can stay in my house, and I can't?
- He's sleeping in the yard.
10
00:00:20,637 --> 00:00:22,719
- I got a hand job.
- Why did you tell me that?
11
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- So we could get past it.
- I was past it
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00:00:24,515 --> 00:00:26,438
when I didn't know about it, Paul.
13
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Does your new fish have a name?
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Name is Shut-up-and-stop-moving-your-ass.
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Okay, can I just say having a lump removed,
almost as annoying as having a lump.
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An hour of surgery, a week
of changing bandages, a month of scarring.
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00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:32,917
It's not what I had in mind this summer.
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But the good news is, it's taken
our relationship to a whole new level.
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It's the least I can do for forgetting
to pick you up from surgery.
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You know, now cancer
is literally a pain in my ass.
21
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Aren't you afraid of dying?
22
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I'm more afraid
of not getting everything done before I go.
23
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Nobody has that much time.
24
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Pull your pants up now.
25
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You know, you're actually pretty good at this.
26
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Yeah, well,
between my husband's colon cancer
27
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and my youngest daughter's lipo,
28
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I've taken care of a lot of assholes.
29
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Your youngest daughter?
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I didn't know you had any.
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I've never seen anyone come in here.
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I have two girls.
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One of them married a Jew,
and the other one's a bull dyke.
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They call me once a month, if I'm lucky.
35
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And it's the same damn conversation
every time.
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How's the house?
Am I taking my medication?
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How's my hip? It's pathetic.
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- What?
- Nothing.
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I just feel bad for you.
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Well, don't. You kicked your husband out,
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your kid hates you,
and your brother's homeless.
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Save your tears for yourself.
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He's not homeless this week.
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He's been sleeping in my backyard.
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Yeah, your life's full of sunshine.
46
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When's the last time you saw Dad?
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Wow, let's see.
That would've been some time
48
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,256
before I started practicing
I-don't-give-a-fuck-ism.
49
00:02:59,945 --> 00:03:02,107
I haven't seen him since last Christmas.
50
00:03:02,322 --> 00:03:06,088
And I don't even visit him on his birthday
or Father's Day. I just send cards.
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It's ridiculous.
I don't want him to think I'm avoiding him.
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You are avoiding him.
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- You hate Dad.
- He's not that bad, Sean.
54
00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:17,849
As much as I'd love to count the ways
he took a dump on my life for you,
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00:03:18,128 --> 00:03:21,530
I really need to get going
before the lack of natural light and air in here
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00:03:21,798 --> 00:03:24,369
irreparably damages my circadian rhythm.
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So,
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00:03:28,221 --> 00:03:30,030
I'd like to thank you for your somewhat toxic
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00:03:30,222 --> 00:03:33,032
but oddly charming hospitality
this past week.
60
00:03:33,809 --> 00:03:34,890
We need to go see Dad.
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00:03:35,185 --> 00:03:37,916
I'd rather masturbate with a cheese grater.
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00:03:40,148 --> 00:03:41,388
Where's your suitcase?
63
00:03:41,566 --> 00:03:42,977
I told you we were spending the night.
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00:03:43,151 --> 00:03:44,482
Mom, can I just sign the card,
65
00:03:44,652 --> 00:03:46,780
and then you go drop me off
at the mall instead?
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00:03:46,987 --> 00:03:49,558
There is no card. It's not his birthday.
We're just visiting.
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- That's lame.
- That is not a valid response, Adam.
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00:03:52,534 --> 00:03:53,899
I just got off the phone with Grandpa.
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I told him we were on our way.
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00:03:55,453 --> 00:03:57,820
I'm not spending the whole day
trapped in a car with you.
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00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,901
- What are you doing?
- This is probably a huge mistake,
72
00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:06,012
but I have unfinished business at home, too.
73
00:04:09,007 --> 00:04:12,329
Happy? Uncle Sean's going,
so now there's a protective layer between us.
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00:04:12,593 --> 00:04:13,674
Go. Get your suitcase.
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00:04:13,845 --> 00:04:16,849
But I told Brent and Alex
that I'd hang out with them this weekend.
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00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,733
You do what you want to do.
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00:04:20,392 --> 00:04:23,123
Wait, you're just leaving me here?
78
00:04:23,353 --> 00:04:24,559
Yep.
79
00:04:24,729 --> 00:04:26,697
But, Mom, I'm hungry!
80
00:04:27,190 --> 00:04:28,999
What am I supposed to eat?
81
00:04:29,317 --> 00:04:30,762
Way to go, Sis.
82
00:04:30,985 --> 00:04:34,034
It's nice to see you finally cutting
Adam's umbilical cord.
83
00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:37,701
When he gets hungry enough,
his natural survival instinct will kick in,
84
00:04:37,949 --> 00:04:39,235
if you haven't already beat it out of him.
85
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,774
Yeah, right.
86
00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:47,713
Cathy, you finally decided to return my calls.
Thank you.
87
00:04:48,751 --> 00:04:50,037
I didn't mean that in the snarky way.
88
00:04:50,502 --> 00:04:52,709
I know sometimes I use sarcasm
as a weapon.
89
00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:54,780
Are you still seeing that therapist?
90
00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,366
I don't know, Cathy.
Am I still sleeping on my sister's couch
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00:04:57,592 --> 00:04:59,082
for no apparent reason?
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That was snarky.
93
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,006
That's why I had to see Angela today.
94
00:05:02,179 --> 00:05:05,149
You see, I'm lashing out at you because,
obviously,
95
00:05:05,391 --> 00:05:06,961
I'm having a hard time coping with the fact
96
00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:10,544
I went outside the bonds of marriage
for sexual gratification.
97
00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:12,780
Okay, I'm gonna go visit my dad
this weekend,
98
00:05:12,981 --> 00:05:14,983
so if you're not too busy getting a hand job,
99
00:05:15,191 --> 00:05:17,159
would you go pick up Adam
and watch him while I'm gone?
100
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:22,366
In fairness to me, Angela says the hand job
only happened because my self is splitting.
101
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:26,991
Well, would at least one half of your self
go pick up our son? Thanks.
102
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,573
What's with the 12-pack?
103
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,476
Is that how you're intending
to get through this visit?
104
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,269
No, it's for Dad.
105
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:37,621
It's his favourite brand, but he never buys it
because it's too expensive.
106
00:05:37,878 --> 00:05:39,368
So you're buying his love.
107
00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:40,957
That's nice.
108
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:45,287
Thank you for coming with me, Sean.
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00:05:45,885 --> 00:05:47,091
I know this isn't easy for you,
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00:05:47,261 --> 00:05:50,583
and I think it is incredibly big of you
to make amends with Dad.
111
00:05:51,223 --> 00:05:53,544
Make amends? With that asshole?
112
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,007
Fuck him!
113
00:05:55,852 --> 00:05:59,573
I'm only going to dig up the time capsule
I buried in the backyard when I was 15.
114
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Are you kidding me?
115
00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:02,555
A time capsule?
116
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:07,216
Hey, don't yell at me just 'cause your little
Boring Betty brain didn't think of it.
117
00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:14,264
Generally speaking, it is easier for a woman
to feel and be in her body,
118
00:06:14,577 --> 00:06:19,265
so she's naturally closer to being
and potentially closer to enlightenment.
119
00:06:20,332 --> 00:06:22,699
Eckhart Tolle has helped a lot of people.
120
00:06:24,086 --> 00:06:26,248
Is this ball-shrinker helping you?
121
00:06:26,463 --> 00:06:28,830
Is that why you're on a quest
to be the perfect daughter?
122
00:06:29,049 --> 00:06:33,373
For your information, most families consider
visiting your father normal behaviour.
123
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:38,895
You really don't know, do you?
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Oh, God.
125
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,431
I thought maybe he was doing
the same thing to you.
126
00:06:45,522 --> 00:06:47,445
Maybe I was just hoping I wasn't alone.
127
00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:50,265
What are you talking about?
128
00:06:50,526 --> 00:06:51,891
God, Cath.
129
00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:54,303
I know you've always looked up to Dad.
130
00:06:54,488 --> 00:06:58,538
You've always been
his little goody two-shoes.
131
00:06:59,826 --> 00:07:02,909
Frankly, I was too much of a wuss
to want to burst your bubble.
132
00:07:04,121 --> 00:07:07,648
But since we are finally talking about it,
you should know.
133
00:07:10,919 --> 00:07:12,125
Dad molested me.
134
00:07:14,339 --> 00:07:15,704
Jesus, Sean.
135
00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:19,014
Are you serious?
136
00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:26,035
God, you... Don't do that!
137
00:07:26,892 --> 00:07:30,578
You stop! Stop, stop, stop doing that!
138
00:07:30,854 --> 00:07:32,618
You're like a really low-hanging fruit.
139
00:07:32,814 --> 00:07:33,895
You're sick.
140
00:07:34,065 --> 00:07:37,467
You're like a low-hanging fruit
on a dwarf fruit tree.
141
00:07:54,416 --> 00:07:56,817
- All right, straight.
- Right, right, right, right.
142
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,674
Damn, you just got schooled, Mr Jamison.
143
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:05,488
Hey, unless you're auditing my taxes,
you call me Paul.
144
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,524
No, you know what, better yet, call me Paulie.
145
00:08:08,262 --> 00:08:09,548
Thank you.
146
00:08:10,431 --> 00:08:11,592
Dude, we gotta bounce.
147
00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:13,415
- See you, man.
- How convenient,
148
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,284
bouncing when I'm just getting warmed up.
149
00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:18,284
- This ain't over, Josh.
- Thanks, Mr... Paulie.
150
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,508
- Later, Adam.
- See you, guys.
151
00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:23,375
I would like to propose a toast to my son
152
00:08:23,818 --> 00:08:25,502
and his awesome gaming prowess.
153
00:08:25,694 --> 00:08:27,856
Today, you are a man.
154
00:08:29,448 --> 00:08:30,495
Yes!
155
00:08:32,534 --> 00:08:33,535
What do you think you're doing?
156
00:08:33,701 --> 00:08:35,032
You said I was a man now, so...
157
00:08:35,328 --> 00:08:38,696
Yeah, well, unfortunately for you,
in the United States of America,
158
00:08:38,956 --> 00:08:41,527
a 14-year-old man still cannot drink.
159
00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,674
But if you're gonna drink alcohol, buddy,
I'd feel a heck of a lot better
160
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,127
if you do it with an adult present, okay?
161
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:52,818
So, in light of your awesome driving skills,
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00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,093
I hereby entitle you
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00:08:57,348 --> 00:08:58,952
to have a beer.
164
00:08:59,808 --> 00:09:01,094
Seriously?
165
00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:21,506
Just so you know,
I was not a goody two-shoes.
166
00:09:21,953 --> 00:09:24,274
I smoked my first cigarette in Girl Scouts.
167
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,546
God, that conversation's so 10 miles ago.
Let it go.
168
00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:31,273
All I'm saying is that we both did things
to get Dad's attention.
169
00:09:31,545 --> 00:09:33,354
My thing was to be perfect.
170
00:09:33,546 --> 00:09:35,628
Your thing was to be a juvenile delinquent.
171
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My thing was more fun.
172
00:09:39,176 --> 00:09:40,223
Give me a beer.
173
00:09:41,303 --> 00:09:43,465
- What?
- You heard me.
174
00:09:43,681 --> 00:09:45,683
Give me one of Dad's beers.
175
00:09:45,891 --> 00:09:49,054
I'm thirsty, I'm tired, maybe a little tense,
176
00:09:49,311 --> 00:09:51,837
and I would like to have a fucking beer
177
00:09:52,647 --> 00:09:53,773
in the car!
178
00:09:54,232 --> 00:09:57,839
Whatever it takes to make your personality
more tolerable.
179
00:09:59,653 --> 00:10:01,178
But you drive.
180
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,240
Here. Here.
181
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,681
Wow, the last time I drove a car,
Reagan was ignoring AIDS.
182
00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:22,590
That's fuel injection!
183
00:10:24,217 --> 00:10:26,458
That is one amazing woman.
184
00:10:30,889 --> 00:10:32,812
You and me are two lucky guys.
185
00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:34,302
Yeah, real lucky, Dad.
186
00:10:34,476 --> 00:10:35,557
She kicked you out of the house.
187
00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:37,934
- That's fucked up.
- You're too hard on your mom.
188
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:39,970
You gotta cut her some slack.
189
00:10:40,148 --> 00:10:41,832
I know she can be annoying,
190
00:10:42,024 --> 00:10:45,665
but it's only 'cause you're
the most important thing in the world to her.
191
00:10:46,403 --> 00:10:49,247
Hey, Dad,
wanna play another video game now?
192
00:10:50,532 --> 00:10:53,376
That Cathy, she's what you call a catch.
193
00:10:55,703 --> 00:10:56,750
Dad.
194
00:10:57,538 --> 00:11:00,826
My friends said she might sleep with me,
195
00:11:01,083 --> 00:11:06,692
"but no way in hell a gal like that
will ever marry a guy like you."
196
00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:10,944
And then she did.
197
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,950
It was so awesome.
198
00:11:15,095 --> 00:11:17,496
Doesn't your mom have amazing tits?
199
00:11:22,227 --> 00:11:24,229
How'd I fuck it up so bad?
200
00:11:25,605 --> 00:11:27,414
I'm so fucking fucked.
201
00:11:29,525 --> 00:11:31,050
I miss her so much it hurts.
202
00:11:40,827 --> 00:11:42,989
- Hey.
- Why are we stopping?
203
00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:44,535
You'll see.
204
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:46,487
No fucking way.
205
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,812
You think this sign will fit
in the back of your car?
206
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,334
What?
207
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:59,011
That's just such a dingleberry thing to do.
208
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,821
Yeah, you probably don't have
the dingleberries to do it.
209
00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:08,014
Do it.
210
00:12:46,719 --> 00:12:48,289
I'm famished.
211
00:12:49,555 --> 00:12:51,523
Being a sign stealer is exhausting.
212
00:12:53,725 --> 00:12:55,693
- Where are you going?
- Food.
213
00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:02,346
How can you do that?
214
00:13:02,858 --> 00:13:06,943
Fact: over 50% of the food we harvest
in this country gets thrown away.
215
00:13:07,237 --> 00:13:09,319
Fact: expiration dates are bullshit.
216
00:13:09,698 --> 00:13:13,339
Fact: this box of Little Debbies
is hermetically sealed.
217
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:16,588
Do Little Debbies even have
expiration dates? I don't think so.
218
00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:18,402
Golden Cremes.
219
00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:20,356
God, I love Golden Cremes.
220
00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:23,290
Oh. my God!
221
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:24,621
Is that a canned ham?
222
00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:32,253
Made fresh today.
223
00:13:36,096 --> 00:13:38,383
I can't believe I dumpster-dove.
224
00:13:38,974 --> 00:13:40,738
I'm a dumpster diver.
225
00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,505
I can't believe I'm eating trash.
It's totally weird.
226
00:13:43,728 --> 00:13:45,059
Pass the carrots, please.
227
00:13:45,855 --> 00:13:49,098
Now, why would they throw out
a whole box of Little Debbies?
228
00:13:49,358 --> 00:13:51,725
The box was dented. Pass the peas.
229
00:13:54,321 --> 00:13:57,131
You know, Mom turned me on to these?
These were her favourites.
230
00:13:57,574 --> 00:14:00,054
At least till Dad told her
they were making her fat.
231
00:14:00,743 --> 00:14:04,190
That jerk made sure none of us was happy
long enough to enjoy anything.
232
00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:05,820
I was happy-
233
00:14:06,123 --> 00:14:09,809
How could you possibly be happy
bending over backward trying to please him?
234
00:14:10,085 --> 00:14:11,849
You know who managed to please Dad?
235
00:14:12,045 --> 00:14:13,206
Sharon.
236
00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,468
Pretty ballsy of him to fuck around with her
while Mom was laid up in the hospital.
237
00:14:17,717 --> 00:14:19,048
Who does that?
238
00:14:19,218 --> 00:14:22,700
Who cheats when you already
have somebody who loves you?
239
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,428
Is that it?
240
00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:28,072
We don't know he had an affair.
241
00:14:28,893 --> 00:14:31,544
Sure,
maybe Dad was such a fucking romantic
242
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:35,696
that he fell in love and got married
three months after Mom died.
243
00:14:35,983 --> 00:14:38,589
- That's totally reasonable.
- It was 25 years ago.
244
00:14:38,819 --> 00:14:40,708
Dad needed someone. Sharon was there.
245
00:14:40,904 --> 00:14:44,033
You and Mom,
you both just let him shut you down.
246
00:14:45,283 --> 00:14:47,763
For years, she wanted to visit New Orleans.
He wouldn't spend the money.
247
00:14:47,994 --> 00:14:50,361
He married Sharon,
took her there on their honeymoon.
248
00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,422
Sharon had hotel vouchers.
249
00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:58,660
Do you hate me for trying to make peace
between you and him?
250
00:14:59,546 --> 00:15:02,311
Do you hate me for trying to get
your head out of your ass?
251
00:15:09,304 --> 00:15:10,829
Man, you get a lot of calls.
252
00:15:14,517 --> 00:15:15,757
Slow down!
253
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:22,579
Hey, kid, are you dead?
254
00:15:27,195 --> 00:15:30,677
Jesus H. Christ. Where's your mother?
255
00:15:31,658 --> 00:15:32,989
It's okay.
256
00:15:33,409 --> 00:15:35,218
It's okay. My dad's here. Everything's fine.
257
00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:37,262
Everything is cool.
258
00:15:48,589 --> 00:15:49,750
Sean!
259
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,290
They saw my ass.
260
00:16:05,855 --> 00:16:08,301
Just so you know, tall grass,
261
00:16:08,524 --> 00:16:11,004
-not ideal for a squatting woman.
- Who's Lenny?
262
00:16:14,821 --> 00:16:15,902
Crap.
263
00:16:17,073 --> 00:16:19,041
What the hell is this, Cathy?
264
00:16:19,242 --> 00:16:20,482
You're fucking this guy?
265
00:16:20,952 --> 00:16:22,556
You fucking around on Paul?
266
00:16:22,745 --> 00:16:23,792
Yes.
267
00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:25,324
Yes, I am.
268
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:27,879
Yes.
269
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,134
Jesus, Cathy, you're unbelievable.
270
00:16:30,627 --> 00:16:34,234
Here I am, defending you against
your jerkwad husband for years,
271
00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:36,872
and the whole time
you're having a fucking affair.
272
00:16:37,091 --> 00:16:38,820
Not the whole time,
and it's not as simple as that.
273
00:16:39,009 --> 00:16:42,331
Can't anybody tell the fucking truth?
274
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,444
You're a fucking liar and a fucking coward.
275
00:16:50,686 --> 00:16:52,654
And you're just like Dad.
276
00:16:56,775 --> 00:16:58,504
Still think I'm a goody two-shoes?
277
00:16:58,694 --> 00:17:01,857
Still think I can't be wild and crazy?
Well, this is what it looks like, Sean.
278
00:17:02,113 --> 00:17:04,241
My caution is officially thrown to the wind.
279
00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:06,364
Fuck you, Cathy.
280
00:17:53,242 --> 00:17:55,404
- Where are you going?
- I'm getting my time capsule.
281
00:17:55,619 --> 00:17:58,350
Are you kidding me?
You're not gonna come in?
282
00:17:59,915 --> 00:18:00,962
Dad!
283
00:18:01,124 --> 00:18:02,455
Hi, hi.
284
00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:05,997
Thank you for the ginger ale.
285
00:18:07,338 --> 00:18:09,340
And I'm sorry I puked it up on your rug.
286
00:18:09,548 --> 00:18:12,313
The resemblance between you
and your father is uncanny.
287
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,225
Go to your room
and get a good night's sleep,
288
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,353
'cause the first thing you're doing
in the morning is cleaning this crap up.
289
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:19,843
I know.
290
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,373
Wake up, you big lush!
291
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,788
I don't care if you're living here
or on the moon.
292
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,328
Being a father's not a part-time job.
293
00:18:33,528 --> 00:18:36,293
You can't quit every time
you feel like tying one on.
294
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,695
Your kid's sick,
and this place smells like raw sewage.
295
00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:44,815
Take care of it.
296
00:18:54,672 --> 00:18:57,562
I'd offer you something to eat,
but Sharon's out at her bridge game.
297
00:18:58,133 --> 00:18:59,737
That's okay, Dad.
298
00:19:03,889 --> 00:19:05,414
Could we turn the TV off for a little bit?
299
00:19:05,598 --> 00:19:07,487
I just wanted to catch up...
300
00:19:07,684 --> 00:19:09,527
Honey, it's a big game.
301
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:14,470
How are you doing health-wise?
302
00:19:14,648 --> 00:19:16,855
- You're still taking your Lipitor?
- Every morning.
303
00:19:17,484 --> 00:19:18,485
And how's that knee?
304
00:19:18,735 --> 00:19:20,499
Get that guy out of there.
305
00:19:23,198 --> 00:19:24,324
Daddy.
306
00:19:26,158 --> 00:19:28,126
Paul and I are separated.
307
00:19:29,745 --> 00:19:30,951
Oh, boy.
308
00:19:33,248 --> 00:19:34,659
You gotta work that out.
309
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:38,159
I really don't see you doing much better
than Paul.
310
00:19:39,254 --> 00:19:40,699
- Excuse me?
- Sweet pea,
311
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,327
you have to be realistic, that's all.
You're a 44-year-old woman.
312
00:19:44,592 --> 00:19:46,640
- Your options are not great.
-42.
313
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,888
And who knows what I can achieve?
314
00:19:50,097 --> 00:19:52,304
What do you want me to say, honey?
315
00:19:52,515 --> 00:19:54,961
You come here, tell me you're divorced.
316
00:19:55,184 --> 00:19:56,868
No, separated. And not even officially.
317
00:19:57,061 --> 00:20:01,111
If you want to achieve things,
you gotta start planning for your old age.
318
00:20:01,398 --> 00:20:02,638
I'll try and keep that in mind.
319
00:20:02,816 --> 00:20:05,023
Like I say, just be realistic.
320
00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:10,180
Kind of thought this would go differently.
321
00:20:10,365 --> 00:20:12,447
Well, you should lower your expectations.
322
00:20:13,242 --> 00:20:15,210
All I expected was a conversation.
323
00:20:18,497 --> 00:20:20,499
This could be the last time I see you.
324
00:20:20,707 --> 00:20:23,233
Hey. Easy.
325
00:20:24,586 --> 00:20:25,587
I'm not that old.
326
00:20:26,587 --> 00:20:28,316
It's not always about you, Dad.
327
00:20:29,757 --> 00:20:32,761
We drove a long way to visit you.
328
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:35,661
Well, you're here now.
What do you want, a party?
329
00:20:35,887 --> 00:20:39,209
No, all I want is some indication
that you are happy to see me.
330
00:20:39,474 --> 00:20:41,283
And that you'd be sad if I were gone.
331
00:20:41,643 --> 00:20:42,769
Cathy,
332
00:20:43,269 --> 00:20:45,590
I'm really happy you're here.
333
00:20:45,813 --> 00:20:47,224
Welcome home.
334
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,043
That what you want?
335
00:20:57,698 --> 00:20:59,700
So what if I had high expectations?
336
00:20:59,909 --> 00:21:01,115
So what?
337
00:21:01,952 --> 00:21:04,114
At least one of us had dreams for me.
338
00:21:04,371 --> 00:21:06,612
No one was allowed to dream in this house.
339
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,915
The only dream Mom ever had
was to go to New Orleans.
340
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:12,978
But you killed that for her,
and now she's in the fireplace!
341
00:21:13,212 --> 00:21:15,783
What's the matter with that? It's decorative.
We never use it.
342
00:21:16,006 --> 00:21:18,850
You told me not waste that application fee
on that college that was out of state
343
00:21:19,093 --> 00:21:20,857
because you didn't think that I could get in.
344
00:21:21,053 --> 00:21:24,057
You made everybody just tap dance
around you for your approval.
345
00:21:24,306 --> 00:21:26,957
And do you know what the sad thing is?
346
00:21:29,018 --> 00:21:30,349
You have a great family.
347
00:21:31,062 --> 00:21:32,063
You don't even know them.
348
00:21:32,897 --> 00:21:37,300
Sean is so much more amazing
than you could ever comprehend.
349
00:21:37,609 --> 00:21:40,579
He can pull an entire meal out of a dumpster.
350
00:21:41,696 --> 00:21:43,380
And more than that,
351
00:21:44,031 --> 00:21:45,442
he's honest.
352
00:21:46,409 --> 00:21:47,820
And he cares,
353
00:21:48,827 --> 00:21:50,955
which is more than I can say for you.
354
00:21:52,581 --> 00:21:55,744
I came here to tell you something,
and here it is.
355
00:21:58,836 --> 00:22:00,247
I love you,
356
00:22:00,922 --> 00:22:02,162
and you're an asshole.
357
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,722
What the hell do you want?
358
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:15,981
What's the score, asshole?
359
00:22:16,143 --> 00:22:18,305
Minnesota's ahead 5 to 2, jackass.
360
00:22:24,234 --> 00:22:25,360
Wow.
361
00:22:25,527 --> 00:22:27,768
1982.
362
00:22:28,488 --> 00:22:30,775
This is gonna be totally rad!
363
00:22:32,658 --> 00:22:35,184
Now, that is a thing-0-beauty.
364
00:22:35,411 --> 00:22:36,697
That's it?
365
00:22:37,955 --> 00:22:39,684
That's your entire time capsule?
366
00:22:39,873 --> 00:22:44,003
What, a Polaroid and a 28-year-old doobie?
367
00:22:44,294 --> 00:22:45,739
Takes me back.
368
00:22:46,254 --> 00:22:47,619
Who is this?
369
00:22:48,547 --> 00:22:50,515
What does she have in her mouth...
370
00:22:51,008 --> 00:22:52,533
Is that your penis?
371
00:22:52,718 --> 00:22:54,447
Gross, Sean!
372
00:22:54,636 --> 00:22:56,877
Yeah, the '80s really sucked for me.
373
00:22:58,223 --> 00:22:59,554
HEY
374
00:22:59,724 --> 00:23:02,409
that wasn't half bad,
what you said about me at Dad's.
375
00:23:02,643 --> 00:23:04,293
- Don't let it go to your head.
- You mean the fact
376
00:23:04,478 --> 00:23:06,560
that you think I'm amazing?
377
00:23:18,824 --> 00:23:19,985
Bon voyage, Mom.
378
00:23:20,326 --> 00:23:22,977
First-class trip down the Mississippi.
379
00:23:25,664 --> 00:23:27,746
She'll be in New Orleans by Monday.
380
00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:30,347
Covered in British oil.
381
00:23:38,258 --> 00:23:39,862
You want to be cremated when you die?
382
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:41,975
I just want to be left out to be eaten
by coyotes.
383
00:23:42,179 --> 00:23:45,023
I know, logically,
it makes sense to be cremated,
384
00:23:45,265 --> 00:23:48,747
but I just can't get past the fact
that you're being burned,
385
00:23:49,018 --> 00:23:53,103
and how painful that would be
if by some fluke you could feel it.
386
00:23:54,356 --> 00:23:55,960
I don't know, maybe burial.
387
00:23:57,859 --> 00:23:59,463
I don't know. It's hard to decide.
388
00:23:59,903 --> 00:24:03,032
What's the big rush?
It's not like you're gonna die tomorrow.
389
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:08,190
I'm sick, Sean.
390
00:24:08,702 --> 00:24:10,511
I know. Aren't we all?
391
00:24:10,829 --> 00:24:12,274
I have cancer.
392
00:24:13,373 --> 00:24:14,454
What?
393
00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:18,188
I'm sorry to blurt it out like that.
394
00:24:18,628 --> 00:24:22,075
When I say it in my head,
it sounds a lot more eloquent,
395
00:24:22,339 --> 00:24:25,502
but it turns out,
quiet dignity is hard to do out loud.
396
00:24:26,885 --> 00:24:28,296
So, that's it.
397
00:24:29,512 --> 00:24:30,957
I have cancer.
398
00:24:31,848 --> 00:24:34,419
Melanoma, to be exact, and I'm dying.
399
00:24:36,852 --> 00:24:38,342
Are you gonna do anything about it?
400
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:42,464
Other than eat more sweets, not really.
401
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,973
I've looked into it.
402
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,198
The options aren't good.
403
00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:50,357
Jesus, Cathy.
404
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,117
Jesus!
405
00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,363
Well, okay.
406
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:03,331
Okay.
407
00:25:03,751 --> 00:25:04,832
Okay.
408
00:25:06,295 --> 00:25:07,899
Well, people die.
409
00:25:08,339 --> 00:25:10,387
It's a guarantee.
410
00:25:10,674 --> 00:25:12,278
Something is going to get you.
411
00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:14,868
Now you know what it is. Me, I'm in the dark.
412
00:25:15,845 --> 00:25:16,971
But people die.
413
00:25:17,430 --> 00:25:19,671
That's the way it works, people...
You're just...
414
00:25:19,891 --> 00:25:22,258
You're gonna die, and it's gonna suck
415
00:25:22,476 --> 00:25:24,683
because I was just starting
to figure you out, Sis.
416
00:25:25,521 --> 00:25:27,444
You know? I was just...
417
00:25:31,985 --> 00:25:34,465
I was just starting to understand
418
00:25:35,446 --> 00:25:38,416
that you're the only thing
I have in this world.
419
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:40,656
Oh, God!
420
00:25:47,248 --> 00:25:48,454
Oh, God!
421
00:26:10,019 --> 00:26:12,420
You think I'm a low-hanging fruit?
422
00:26:13,147 --> 00:26:15,275
You should see your face right now.
423
00:26:16,525 --> 00:26:19,256
Wait. What, are you fucking with me?
424
00:26:24,532 --> 00:26:25,943
You're good.
425
00:26:26,867 --> 00:26:29,029
God, I nearly...
426
00:26:29,536 --> 00:26:31,777
I really...l mean, you almost...
427
00:26:34,582 --> 00:26:36,471
That was good!
428
00:26:39,503 --> 00:26:41,073
Why don't we spark up that doobie?
429
00:26:41,255 --> 00:26:42,302
Yes.
430
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:46,902
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