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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,896 both: [grunting, moaning] 2 00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:11,896 [electronic music] 3 00:00:11,965 --> 00:00:14,137 [breathing heavily] 4 00:00:14,206 --> 00:00:16,620 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:18,068 - I didn't know a guy with a fanny pack 6 00:00:18,137 --> 00:00:19,620 could do things like that. 7 00:00:19,689 --> 00:00:22,965 - It's a wilderness pack, and thank you. 8 00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:25,758 - Okay. Bye. 9 00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:28,758 both: [grunting, moaning] 10 00:00:28,827 --> 00:00:31,413 - [breathing heavily] 11 00:00:31,482 --> 00:00:34,379 That was so much fun. - I know. Bye. 12 00:00:34,448 --> 00:00:38,241 Yep, yeah, yeah, ah. - Ah. 13 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:42,241 [groans] - [sighs] 14 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:45,034 Thank you. 15 00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:47,103 Okay. Bye. 16 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,344 - [chuckles] Lady Francis... 17 00:00:49,413 --> 00:00:51,689 - [sighs] We forgot to have sex. 18 00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:54,000 - Uh, that's okay. This is kind of nice. 19 00:00:54,068 --> 00:00:56,068 - Mm. - I think I like Pibbis. 20 00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:58,827 - You mean PBS? - Yeah, it's my new favorite. 21 00:00:58,896 --> 00:01:01,068 [rock music] 22 00:01:01,137 --> 00:01:03,551 - ♪ Teacher ♪ 23 00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:06,000 - [sighs] 24 00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:11,379 - Caroline, can you go Kristen Stewart somewhere else? 25 00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:12,896 You're affecting my makeup vibe. 26 00:01:12,965 --> 00:01:14,965 - Sorry. 27 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,413 [breathes deeply] 28 00:01:17,482 --> 00:01:20,793 - Fine. What's wrong? 29 00:01:20,862 --> 00:01:22,482 - Thanks for asking. 30 00:01:22,551 --> 00:01:24,310 I just feel like I've kind of been in a funk 31 00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:25,896 ever since Toby and I broke up. 32 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,310 - You know he wears Tevas, right? 33 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,931 - Yes. - Oh. 34 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,448 - I mean, I know I'm not ready to be in another relationship, 35 00:01:32,517 --> 00:01:34,827 but I also can't keep sitting around at home 36 00:01:34,896 --> 00:01:37,517 eating frozen pizza and crying while watching "Hope Floats." 37 00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:40,172 - What a sad ass life. No offense. 38 00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:43,206 - NO, it is. I gotta get out more. 39 00:01:43,275 --> 00:01:44,896 - Oh, my God, yes! 40 00:01:44,965 --> 00:01:47,379 Now is the time to capitalize on being single. 41 00:01:47,448 --> 00:01:49,517 You've been missing out on a huge opportunity 42 00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:52,344 to go out, get effed up, and let loose. 43 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:55,068 We are partying tonight. - Okay, I'm in. 44 00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:56,517 Oh, this works out perfectly. 45 00:01:56,586 --> 00:01:59,068 My macramé instructor got mono, so I'm free. 46 00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:00,482 It was getting dangerous. 47 00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:03,068 She kept falling asleep at the loom. 48 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:04,931 - Do not bring that up tonight. 49 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,137 [rock music] 50 00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:08,551 - Listen up, everybody. 51 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:11,517 In six months you'll be middle schoolers. 52 00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:14,000 Who's excited? 53 00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,344 - Well, you shouldn't be, 54 00:02:15,413 --> 00:02:17,379 because there you'll see an evil in others 55 00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:19,206 you never imagined existed. 56 00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:21,137 - Okay, Deb. 57 00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:24,000 This is why Mavis insisted you have a partner 58 00:02:24,068 --> 00:02:26,827 for middle school prep. 59 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:31,034 Guys, I know you might think an old fogey like me 60 00:02:31,103 --> 00:02:32,620 never went to middle school, 61 00:02:32,689 --> 00:02:34,896 but I wore bell-bottoms and disco boots 62 00:02:34,965 --> 00:02:37,655 just like the rest of you, and let me tell you something, 63 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,827 middle school is far out. It is groovy. 64 00:02:40,896 --> 00:02:43,689 - Liar. It's the tenth circle of hell. 65 00:02:43,758 --> 00:02:46,482 Come on, Mrs. Adler, not another bullying lecture. 66 00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:48,275 - It's not as bad as you make it sound. 67 00:02:48,344 --> 00:02:49,931 It happens. You'll get over it. 68 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,655 - Oh, really? - Yeah, Mrs. Adler. 69 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,482 As they said in my middle school, 70 00:02:54,551 --> 00:02:57,379 you're being a real spaz. 71 00:02:57,448 --> 00:03:00,689 [chuckles] 72 00:03:00,758 --> 00:03:02,931 - Hey, we're gonna need two redheaded sluts, 73 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,862 and two buttery nipples. - You got it. 74 00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:07,000 - This night is gonna be so extra. 75 00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:08,827 - Who are you texting? 76 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:11,000 - I'm playing Scrabble with this dude I'm hooking up with, 77 00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:13,517 Kyle. He thinks "furthest" is a word. 78 00:03:13,586 --> 00:03:16,275 [laughs] What an idiot. 79 00:03:16,344 --> 00:03:17,551 [hip-hop music playing] 80 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,275 [gasps] Yas, girl. 81 00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:21,965 Time to get turnt. 82 00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:25,827 Okay, yeah-- uh-oh. 83 00:03:25,896 --> 00:03:28,620 - I'ma dance. - [chuckles] 84 00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:31,758 Get it, girl. Ooh. 85 00:03:31,827 --> 00:03:34,758 How is "fearapy" not a word? I use it like every day. 86 00:03:34,827 --> 00:03:36,275 [Clooney's "We Are the Party People" playing] 87 00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:38,586 ♪ We set the bar and we take it way too far ♪ 88 00:03:38,655 --> 00:03:40,310 - From the gentleman. 89 00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:42,241 - ♪ And break all the rules and make all the fun ♪ 90 00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:44,413 ♪ We ditch out of school for cola and rum ♪ 91 00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,172 - [hisses] Ah. 92 00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:49,413 - ♪ No chill, just thrills, and we're happy to share ♪ 93 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:51,448 ♪ We need our tribe to vibe ♪ 94 00:03:51,517 --> 00:03:53,068 - No. 95 00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:55,413 - ♪ No haters here, we don't troll ♪ 96 00:03:55,482 --> 00:03:57,655 ♪ 'Cause we're so into love ♪ 97 00:03:57,724 --> 00:04:00,206 - We gotta go. I'm kind of tired. 98 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:02,965 Can you hear me? No? 99 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,896 Okay, bye. 100 00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:08,034 - Can you play "Mambo No. 5"? 101 00:04:08,103 --> 00:04:11,103 Five! 102 00:04:11,172 --> 00:04:15,724 - You all thought bullying doesn't have long-term effects. 103 00:04:15,793 --> 00:04:18,827 Well, prepare to be proven wrong. 104 00:04:18,896 --> 00:04:20,965 You ever hear of the IKEA Challenge? 105 00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:23,241 - Anyone who's had to put their furniture together 106 00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:26,137 will tell you it's more of a battle than a challenge. 107 00:04:26,206 --> 00:04:27,379 [chuckles] 108 00:04:27,448 --> 00:04:29,103 Am I right kid-- - Stop talking. 109 00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:31,275 IKEA gave a school two plants. 110 00:04:31,344 --> 00:04:34,137 Both received the same amount of water and sunlight, 111 00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:37,689 but one plant was given compliments, 112 00:04:37,758 --> 00:04:39,379 and the other plant was bullied. 113 00:04:39,448 --> 00:04:41,172 And guess what. 114 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:45,931 The bullied plant wilted, and the complimented plant thrived. 115 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,310 - That's impossible. - Is it, Ava? 116 00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:49,793 We'll see. 117 00:04:49,862 --> 00:04:52,206 You are all going to compliment this plant 118 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:55,000 and verbally abuse this plant until it dies. 119 00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:57,517 Everyone line up. Ava, you first. 120 00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:05,034 - Aw, your leaves are so beautiful [chuckles]. 121 00:05:05,103 --> 00:05:08,689 You're ugly. Kill yourself, you dumb plant. 122 00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:12,413 - Great job, Ava. 123 00:05:12,482 --> 00:05:13,482 - Mm-mm. 124 00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:15,413 [rock music] 125 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,448 - Okay. - Whoo. 126 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,448 - Oh, someone had a good time last night. 127 00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:23,034 - Uh, such a good time. - You go home with anyone? 128 00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:25,655 - Of course not. I could never had a one-night stand. 129 00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:28,000 I'm emotionally attached to the dog who lives across the street 130 00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:30,103 and I only see him through a window. 131 00:05:30,172 --> 00:05:32,517 - Ugh, you're so basic. 132 00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:34,000 People think women can't have casual sex 133 00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:36,310 because they'll get attached, but that is bullshit. 134 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,793 I've had sex with so many people and I've felt nothing. 135 00:05:38,862 --> 00:05:41,000 In my heart, not my puss. 136 00:05:41,068 --> 00:05:43,275 - But I've never had sex with anyone without asking 137 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:44,655 about their five-year plan. 138 00:05:44,724 --> 00:05:46,758 - Having a one-night stand can be empowering. 139 00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:49,241 We all got needs, girl. It's time to get yours met. 140 00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:52,965 - Speaking of, where did you wander off to last night? 141 00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:54,931 Did you meet someone? - Oh, no. 142 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,827 I hooked up with Kyle again. [giggles] 143 00:05:56,896 --> 00:05:58,689 He's so stupid. [chuckles] 144 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,241 If I eat in front of him, he makes this sound effect, 145 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,931 "Har, har, har." [guffaws] 146 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,551 And then I tell him to stop, and he's like, 147 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:07,137 "What, I'm not doing anything." But then if I eat something 148 00:06:07,206 --> 00:06:10,310 again he goes, "Hah, hah, hah, hah." 149 00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:11,620 [laughs] 150 00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:14,931 - [laughs] Hilarious. Tell us again. 151 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,241 - Please don't. - What? It's funny. 152 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,551 - I think it's just one of those inside couple jokes. 153 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:23,344 - Oh, no, we are not a couple. - Yeah, they're not a couple. 154 00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:24,896 - How long have you two been seeing each other? 155 00:06:24,965 --> 00:06:26,310 - Every night for the past three weeks. 156 00:06:26,379 --> 00:06:27,620 - Wait, what? 157 00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:30,482 - Sounds like someone has a boyfriend. 158 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:32,103 - He's not my boyfriend. 159 00:06:32,172 --> 00:06:34,655 We just like having sex with each other every night. 160 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:37,482 People don't do that with their boyfriends. 161 00:06:37,551 --> 00:06:38,793 [farts] [gasps] 162 00:06:38,862 --> 00:06:41,724 Oh, my God. You are my boyfriend. 163 00:06:41,793 --> 00:06:43,517 - Yeah, and you're my girlfriend. 164 00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:47,896 - Each year, the pair unites, recognizing each other... 165 00:06:47,965 --> 00:06:50,172 [mid-tempo rock music] 166 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,137 [rock music] 167 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:59,034 - You lose a pearl between your tits? 168 00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:01,655 - No, Deb, I just got this push up bra 169 00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:03,275 and I wanted to make sure it was delivering. 170 00:07:03,344 --> 00:07:05,517 I'm gonna have my first one-night stand tonight. 171 00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:08,896 - Everybody, shut up. Something horrible happened. 172 00:07:08,965 --> 00:07:11,103 - Oh, no, did Jax cheat on Brittany again? 173 00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:14,206 - No, I have a boyfriend. - What? 174 00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:15,551 - You guys were right. 175 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,000 I accidentally got in a relationship. 176 00:07:18,068 --> 00:07:20,965 Kyle farted in front of me. - Oh, that's sweet. 177 00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:23,620 That just shows that his brain releases so much oxytocin 178 00:07:23,689 --> 00:07:25,172 around you that his anus relaxed. 179 00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:28,206 - Wow, I never thought I'd see the day. 180 00:07:28,275 --> 00:07:30,931 Caroline's slutting it up, and you're settling down. 181 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,620 This is more shocking than seeing 182 00:07:32,689 --> 00:07:34,137 a good Adam Sandler movie. 183 00:07:34,206 --> 00:07:37,103 - I'm not settling down. Relationships don't work. 184 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,241 Guys only fall in love with the illusion of you. 185 00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,034 Once they figure out who you really are, 186 00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:42,241 they leave. - What makes you think that? 187 00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:43,931 - Samuel Howard. 188 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,206 He was the love of my life until I got a massive chin zit 189 00:07:46,275 --> 00:07:49,689 and he dumped me. - Wait, when did this happen? 190 00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:51,896 - Sixth grade. But how about my mom? 191 00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:53,862 She's been in hundreds of relationships 192 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:55,896 and literally every guy but Bob left her. 193 00:07:55,965 --> 00:07:57,379 And there's nothing wrong with her. 194 00:07:57,448 --> 00:07:59,241 She's never been over a size six. 195 00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:02,137 This is never gonna work. Once Kyle sees the real me, 196 00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:05,137 he'll leave. And I am gonna prove it. 197 00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,586 - That sounds healthy. 198 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,344 ♪ ♪ 199 00:08:10,413 --> 00:08:12,000 - Deb, this is not a good look. 200 00:08:12,068 --> 00:08:14,931 The bullied plant is thriving. It's thriving, Deb. 201 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,206 - I don't know what to tell you. 202 00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:17,172 It worked for IKEA. 203 00:08:17,241 --> 00:08:18,655 - The bullied plant overcame, 204 00:08:18,724 --> 00:08:21,103 like Bill Gates. Bullying helps. 205 00:08:21,172 --> 00:08:23,482 - More people should get bullied. 206 00:08:23,551 --> 00:08:24,862 - Yeah. - Yeah. 207 00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:28,448 - You better fix this. 208 00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,310 I'm getting scared of Diego. 209 00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:33,896 ♪ ♪ 210 00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:36,482 - I made us dinner. 211 00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:38,137 - [chuckles] 212 00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:40,551 Are those chicken nuggets wrapped in American cheese? 213 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,724 - Yeah. I hate salad. 214 00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:44,517 This is who I really am. 215 00:08:44,586 --> 00:08:46,931 - Cool. How about we watch more PBS? 216 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,965 - No. I always watch "So You Think You're an Actor?" 217 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:50,655 It's where people who wanna be actors, 218 00:08:50,724 --> 00:08:53,448 and America gets to vote. It's hosted by Vivica A. Fox, 219 00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:56,172 Freddie Prinze Jr., and some bald guy nobody knows. 220 00:08:56,241 --> 00:08:57,517 - Great. 221 00:08:57,586 --> 00:08:58,827 - ..."So You Think You're an Actor." 222 00:08:58,896 --> 00:09:00,862 Up next, it's Zack. 223 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:03,827 - [laughs] Look at that fat loser. 224 00:09:03,896 --> 00:09:05,965 Either lose 40 pounds or enjoy playing 225 00:09:06,034 --> 00:09:07,551 the wacky best friend the rest of your life. 226 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:09,724 - Chelsea. - Mm. 227 00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:11,896 - That dude needs to lose like 60 pounds. 228 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,310 [laughs] - [chuckles] Yeah. 229 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:17,103 He does. - Thank you, Mr. Malkovich. 230 00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:19,413 I chose this monologue because it reminds me 231 00:09:19,482 --> 00:09:22,000 of the guilt I felt after my own father died. 232 00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:23,482 Our house burnt down on Christmas morning... 233 00:09:23,551 --> 00:09:26,482 - Oh, wah, and we're supposed to vote for you? 234 00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:28,827 Come back when you have a rare genetic disorder. 235 00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:30,586 Your father probably set himself on fire 236 00:09:30,655 --> 00:09:32,068 to get away from you. 237 00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:35,137 - [laughing] 238 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,517 [stirring music playing on television] 239 00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:38,724 Oh, man. 240 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,103 [rock music] 241 00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:43,896 - So, this is it. - Nice. 242 00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:45,620 It's really pink. 243 00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:47,793 - Thank you. 244 00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:50,620 Why don't you sit here while I go get ready? 245 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,172 - Sure. 246 00:09:54,206 --> 00:09:57,103 - Would you like to watch "Hope Floats" while you wait? 247 00:09:57,172 --> 00:09:57,965 - No. 248 00:09:58,034 --> 00:10:00,103 - I'll be right back. 249 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,448 - Oh, my God. 250 00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:18,517 - Okay, let's get to it, then. 251 00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:20,172 Um, please remove your clothes, 252 00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:21,862 fold them and put them on the dresser, 253 00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:24,517 and then you and I can have meaningless sex. 254 00:10:24,586 --> 00:10:26,103 - Sure. 255 00:10:28,241 --> 00:10:31,172 [playful music] 256 00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:38,241 ♪ ♪ 257 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:42,413 - Go ahead. 258 00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:45,482 - What? 259 00:10:45,551 --> 00:10:48,000 - Proceed. 260 00:10:49,862 --> 00:10:56,310 ♪ ♪ 261 00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:59,379 [rock music] 262 00:11:00,965 --> 00:11:03,793 - Hi, babe. - Hey. 263 00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:06,793 [electronic music] 264 00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:13,000 ♪ ♪ 265 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,379 - You look beautiful. 266 00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:30,724 ♪ ♪ 267 00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:32,724 When you gotta go, you gotta go. 268 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,551 ♪ ♪ 269 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,344 [music slows to a stop] 270 00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:38,413 - [farting, plop] 271 00:11:38,482 --> 00:11:40,620 - Nice. 272 00:11:40,689 --> 00:11:43,655 [rock music] 273 00:11:43,724 --> 00:11:45,655 - I did it. I had a one-night stand. 274 00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:47,689 all: [squealing, cheering] 275 00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:50,758 - I'm so proud of you. - I knew nothing about him, 276 00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:53,000 and he banged me. Uh, he banged me good. 277 00:11:53,068 --> 00:11:55,172 - Oh. - It was really amazing. 278 00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:58,103 I initiated missionary and it was a huge hit. 279 00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:01,137 Thanks for opening my eyes, Chelsea. 280 00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:03,862 - You know what they say, Open eyes, open vag. 281 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,620 - Nobody says that. - Well, yeah, okay. 282 00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,103 - I've decided that this is my year of yes. 283 00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:11,379 There are so many things in my life I've said no to, 284 00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:13,482 and I think I've missed out on so much. 285 00:12:13,551 --> 00:12:16,034 So now I'm saying yes to everything. 286 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,862 And I'm starting with Tinder. 287 00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:21,931 Yes, yes, yes, soul patch? 288 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,965 Yes, yes, yep. 289 00:12:25,034 --> 00:12:26,241 [door knocking] 290 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,517 - It's open. Come on in. 291 00:12:32,896 --> 00:12:34,172 - Hi, hello. 292 00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:35,793 [quiet storm music playing] 293 00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:38,517 - Hi? Who are you? 294 00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:40,172 - I'm Mary Louise. 295 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:44,586 Chelsea's letting me crash here because I'm so lonely. 296 00:12:44,655 --> 00:12:45,586 ♪ ♪ 297 00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:47,655 Won't you sit with me? 298 00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:49,379 - Sure? 299 00:12:49,448 --> 00:12:52,344 ♪ ♪ 300 00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:54,344 [clears throat] Nice to meet you. 301 00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:56,896 - Mm, she won't be back for a while. 302 00:12:56,965 --> 00:13:00,758 Can I give you a massage on your back? 303 00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:01,965 ♪ ♪ 304 00:13:02,034 --> 00:13:03,931 I do deep tissue. 305 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,379 - No. Thanks. - Oh, but baby won't tell. 306 00:13:07,448 --> 00:13:10,413 - Oh, hey, hey, hey. I'm with Chelsea. 307 00:13:10,482 --> 00:13:15,206 - Ugh, are you kidding me? - Chelsea? What is this? 308 00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:18,206 Is this some kind of setup? - Uh, duh. 309 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:20,034 And how did you not take the bait? 310 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,827 You're like mentally ill. 311 00:13:21,896 --> 00:13:23,551 - I'm mentally ill? - Yeah. 312 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,482 - You're the one trying to trick me into cheating. 313 00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:27,931 - Well, welcome to me. I trick people, 314 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,758 I lie to people, I set them up. 315 00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:32,068 If you don't like it, then I guess you don't like me. 316 00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:34,103 - You don't think I know how you work? 317 00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:35,862 - No, I don't. - On our first date, 318 00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:38,758 you told me you had an allergy where you could only eat 319 00:13:38,827 --> 00:13:40,931 high-end sushi. 320 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,517 I knew that wasn't true. - [gasps] 321 00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:44,172 - I didn't take you to SushiSamba 322 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,862 because I believed you. I took you to SushiSamba 323 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,758 because I liked you. 324 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,758 And I know you're not 22. - [gasps] 325 00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:53,103 - Well, you are intentionally trying to push me away. 326 00:13:53,172 --> 00:13:55,172 - Because you won't stop liking me. 327 00:13:55,241 --> 00:13:57,448 If I was dating someone like me, I would break up with them 328 00:13:57,517 --> 00:13:59,931 in a heartbeat, because I have too much respect for myself 329 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,793 to be dating someone like me. 330 00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:04,620 You know what? We're done. 331 00:14:04,689 --> 00:14:07,344 - Fine. Just so you know, this has nothing to do with me 332 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,344 and everything to do with you. You are so insecure. 333 00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:12,551 You don't believe that anyone could ever love you. 334 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,724 - Cha. 335 00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:16,793 - Well, I'm done trying. 336 00:14:16,862 --> 00:14:19,793 [solemn piano music] 337 00:14:19,862 --> 00:14:23,413 - See? I knew you would do this. 338 00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:25,517 - Well, you win some, you lose some. 339 00:14:25,586 --> 00:14:26,586 Wanna make a fort? 340 00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:32,827 [blues rock music] 341 00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:35,137 ♪ ♪ 342 00:14:35,206 --> 00:14:37,689 - Hey, there, you must be Donovan. 343 00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:39,275 - Caroline, nice to meet you. 344 00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:42,137 - Oh, you're British. Fancy. 345 00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,655 - You think so? - Not really. 346 00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:45,758 Listen, I could spend the next two hours 347 00:14:45,827 --> 00:14:48,310 laughing at your lame jokes, which sound more clever 348 00:14:48,379 --> 00:14:50,068 because they're said in that posh accent, 349 00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:52,689 or we could get down to brass tax. 350 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,137 We gonna bone or what? 351 00:14:54,206 --> 00:14:56,724 You can just call me London Bridge, 352 00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:59,413 'cause I'm going down. 353 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:03,206 Hey, partner, how about a reverse cowgirl? 354 00:15:03,275 --> 00:15:06,275 [electronic music] 355 00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:09,448 [moaning] 356 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:16,551 ♪ ♪ 357 00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:19,172 Jeremy, Jeremy. 358 00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:21,724 [overlapping chatter] - Calm down, everyone. 359 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:23,482 Yes, Ava? 360 00:15:23,551 --> 00:15:26,586 - If bullying's so bad, how come the plant's doing so well? 361 00:15:26,655 --> 00:15:30,379 - Okay, bullying is bad. - It's obviously not. 362 00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:32,034 - Ye-- - We can bully anyone we want, 363 00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:33,965 and because of it, they'll do great. 364 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,862 - Oh, really? You know, how about 365 00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:37,896 we do this experiment for real? 366 00:15:37,965 --> 00:15:40,000 What does everyone think about Diego? 367 00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,275 I'm sure you have something to say. 368 00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:45,655 I'll start you off. He has a flat head. 369 00:15:45,724 --> 00:15:47,655 Talk about that. - Hey. 370 00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:50,655 - Diego's head is so flat it could be a pancake. 371 00:15:50,724 --> 00:15:51,931 [laughter] 372 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,862 - At least my mom wasn't a teen mom. 373 00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:55,206 - Flat head. 374 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:56,448 - You and your mom look like sisters. 375 00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:58,000 - Oh, oh, okay, okay. That's enough. 376 00:15:58,068 --> 00:15:59,793 - No. 377 00:15:59,862 --> 00:16:02,103 - So, who feels better now? 378 00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:07,758 Does anyone still think bullying is great? 379 00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:09,310 - No. - No. 380 00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:11,896 - Good. I think we have time for one more. 381 00:16:11,965 --> 00:16:13,379 What do we think of Mr. Pearson? 382 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:16,689 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Specifically his shirt. 383 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:19,689 [upbeat music playing] 384 00:16:19,758 --> 00:16:21,241 ♪ ♪ 385 00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:22,689 - Two more circle jerks, please. 386 00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:24,379 - Sure. - Oh, none for me, thanks. 387 00:16:24,448 --> 00:16:26,931 I need to be clearheaded for my banging tonight. 388 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,241 - Mm. - Chelsea. 389 00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:29,758 I have slept with so many guys, 390 00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:31,724 and I don't even know half of their names. 391 00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:34,689 It feels really healthy. - Mm, good for you, girl. 392 00:16:34,758 --> 00:16:37,068 You get yours. 393 00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:38,827 [sighs with mouth closed] 394 00:16:38,896 --> 00:16:41,275 - You okay? - No. 395 00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:43,689 I can't stop thinking about Kyle. 396 00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:45,000 I really miss him. 397 00:16:45,068 --> 00:16:46,551 - I thought this was what you wanted. 398 00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:50,241 - It is. I don't want a boyfriend. 399 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,620 I don't believe in them, and I stand behind my beliefs, so... 400 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,482 - You know, a very wise woman once told me, 401 00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:59,241 Open eyes, open vag. 402 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,655 - I'm really smart. 403 00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:02,482 - You need to get back out there. 404 00:17:02,551 --> 00:17:04,689 - You're right. 405 00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:11,689 ♪ ♪ 406 00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:14,896 Hey, are you a model? 407 00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:19,827 Ah, ah, oh, oh, yeah. 408 00:17:19,896 --> 00:17:22,413 Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. 409 00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:24,586 Oh, yeah. - God, you're hot. 410 00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:27,310 - Yeah. 411 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,137 [gasps] 412 00:17:29,206 --> 00:17:32,931 Oh, my God. 413 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,517 I'm sorry, I can't. 414 00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:38,896 And that is shocking for me because of your abs. 415 00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:40,482 Oh, my God, your abs. 416 00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,310 - Did I--did I do something wrong? 417 00:17:42,379 --> 00:17:44,724 - Yes, you're not Kyle. 418 00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,517 ["Snap Out of My Life" playing] Into my life. 419 00:17:46,586 --> 00:17:48,724 ♪ Snap out of my life ♪ Into my life. 420 00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,482 Into my life. 421 00:17:50,551 --> 00:17:53,586 ♪ Snap out of my life, boy ♪ Into my life 422 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,862 ♪ ♪ 423 00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:56,482 - Chelsea? - Kyle? 424 00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:59,758 - What're you doing? - Um, 425 00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:02,379 I just tried hooking up with this insanely hot guy. 426 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:03,965 I mean, he was gorgeous. 427 00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:06,206 We were making out and touching each other's bodies 428 00:18:06,275 --> 00:18:08,034 and I was about to eff him, but I didn't. 429 00:18:08,103 --> 00:18:10,931 - Okay. - And I felt nothing. 430 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,344 I didn't even wanna blow him. 431 00:18:13,413 --> 00:18:15,000 I only wanna blow you. 432 00:18:15,068 --> 00:18:17,586 [tender acoustic guitar music] 433 00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:21,275 I'm so sorry I sabotaged what we had. 434 00:18:21,344 --> 00:18:24,586 You're right about everything. 435 00:18:24,655 --> 00:18:25,931 I am scared. 436 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,275 And I am insecure. 437 00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:30,172 I never let anyone get close to me. 438 00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:32,862 You know, I watched my mom have relationship after relationship 439 00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:36,275 that never worked out, and I just kind of thought 440 00:18:36,344 --> 00:18:38,275 it'd be the same for me. 441 00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:39,724 - I wasn't going anywhere, Chelsea. 442 00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:42,655 I care about you. 443 00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:44,551 - I care about you too. 444 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,448 But you're gonna have to be patient with me, 445 00:18:46,517 --> 00:18:48,448 because I am still scared this is gonna end 446 00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:51,689 in a big ball of flames, but... 447 00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:54,103 I really wanna try to make this work. 448 00:18:54,172 --> 00:18:55,586 - I tried making chicken nuggets 449 00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:58,655 wrapped in American cheese the other night. 450 00:18:58,724 --> 00:19:01,758 It didn't taste the same without you. 451 00:19:01,827 --> 00:19:03,517 - Duh. 452 00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:06,689 [tender piano music] 453 00:19:06,758 --> 00:19:09,206 Kyle Luke Perry, 454 00:19:09,275 --> 00:19:10,827 will you be my boyfriend? 455 00:19:10,896 --> 00:19:13,931 - My middle name is Andrew, but yes, I will. 456 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,275 - [chuckles] 457 00:19:15,344 --> 00:19:19,172 ♪ ♪ 458 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,655 See? Ah, that was so much better 459 00:19:21,724 --> 00:19:23,758 than kissing the insanely hot guy I was just with. 460 00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:25,724 - Let's stop talking about him. - Okay. 461 00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:27,724 - Mm, mm. 462 00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:30,724 - Here you go, my little plant, drink up. 463 00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:33,379 [mid-tempo rock music] 464 00:19:33,448 --> 00:19:35,482 - Cecelia? - [gasps] 465 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,862 - What the hell are you doing to my plant? 466 00:19:37,931 --> 00:19:39,793 - I couldn't just let this plant die. 467 00:19:39,862 --> 00:19:41,206 I've been watering it, and I repotted it 468 00:19:41,275 --> 00:19:42,689 in nutrient-rich soil. 469 00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:46,137 - You almost made an entire class of Donald Trumps, 470 00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:48,793 you stupid idiot. - [gasps] Deb. 471 00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:50,103 That's bullying. 472 00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:52,000 [rock music] 473 00:19:52,068 --> 00:19:54,551 - Jeremy is such a great student. 474 00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:56,758 He's really emerged as a leader in the classroom, 475 00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:59,448 and the other children really respect him. 476 00:19:59,517 --> 00:20:01,482 - That's so great to hear. 477 00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:03,448 Can I ask you an unrelated question? 478 00:20:03,517 --> 00:20:04,517 - Sure. 479 00:20:04,586 --> 00:20:05,827 - I don't know if you remember me, 480 00:20:05,896 --> 00:20:08,448 but did I leave a hardhat at your apartment? 481 00:20:11,034 --> 00:20:13,965 [rock music] 482 00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:21,241 ♪ ♪ 483 00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:25,841 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34586

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