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00:00:01,492 --> 00:00:06,805
Ladies and gentleman, welcome to
the Fillmore Fantasy Class Draft!
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00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:08,805
[ALL CHEER]
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00:00:08,830 --> 00:00:12,814
All students grade K through 5
are eligible to be drafted.
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00:00:12,839 --> 00:00:16,600
As you pick your players, keep in mind
that scores are calculated based on:
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00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:19,571
academics, behavior and attendance.
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00:00:19,596 --> 00:00:22,671
And if a kid gets sick, they
go on the injured reserve.
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00:00:22,696 --> 00:00:26,010
And this year the winner will receive
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00:00:26,035 --> 00:00:30,838
a $500 target gift card
for school supplies
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- [ALL GASP]
- May the best teacher win.
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00:00:33,824 --> 00:00:39,790
Fantasy Class Draft starts in 3...
2... [BLOWS WHISTLE]
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00:00:39,815 --> 00:00:42,128
- I'll take Maddie P.
- No!
12
00:00:42,153 --> 00:00:43,519
She doesn't have any friends
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00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,550
so chook ain't got nothing
to do but study. Yes!
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00:00:46,575 --> 00:00:48,108
[GROANS]
15
00:00:48,512 --> 00:00:51,113
"Pokemon Go" is screwing me.
16
00:00:51,278 --> 00:00:53,847
Damn it, my class' attendance sucks.
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00:00:53,959 --> 00:00:55,625
Pink eye is killing me.
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00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:57,683
Don't poop and touch your eyes, animals.
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00:00:57,746 --> 00:00:59,613
Y'all thought Freddy S. was a moron,
20
00:00:59,681 --> 00:01:01,715
but he just had ADHD. Oh!
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00:01:01,783 --> 00:01:04,618
Now he's on meds and bae slays all day.
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00:01:04,686 --> 00:01:07,520
Before I read the
results, let me just say,
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00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,589
this game is stupid.
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00:01:09,658 --> 00:01:11,791
With that being said,
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00:01:11,860 --> 00:01:13,560
Deb and Caroline are eliminated.
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00:01:13,629 --> 00:01:15,328
- No.
- Damn it.
27
00:01:15,397 --> 00:01:18,932
Which means Toby and Chelsea
are in the playoffs.
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00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:21,067
- [SQUEALS]
- [LAUGHS] Oh.
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[LAUGHTER]
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May the best fantasy class win.
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[ROCK MUSIC]
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synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
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All right, and now Melanie and Tim,
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let's see what you each wrote
about how you resolve conflict.
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00:01:38,076 --> 00:01:39,341
Seriously, Tim?
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00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:41,955
Everybody knows, never go to bed angry.
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00:01:42,024 --> 00:01:43,790
Well, now, Melanie, just to reminder,
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00:01:43,859 --> 00:01:45,892
you need to write something
on your board too.
39
00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:48,862
You can't just wait for Tim
and criticize what he wrote.
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00:01:48,931 --> 00:01:50,096
Amateurs.
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00:01:50,165 --> 00:01:52,032
What, did they just
meet in the parking lot?
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00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,601
Now it's your turn, big boy.
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00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:56,629
You and... and, uh...
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00:01:56,972 --> 00:02:00,040
what's her face? Uh, your question is,
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how many children do you wanna have?
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BOTH: Five.
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Who's gonna handle the finances?
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00:02:06,381 --> 00:02:07,590
[MARKERS SQUEAK]
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00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:09,482
- She will.
- I will.
50
00:02:09,551 --> 00:02:11,451
I'm not good at math.
51
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,720
If there was, um, football game,
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00:02:13,789 --> 00:02:15,488
shirts and skins,
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00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:18,347
which one of you's gonna
take of your shirt?
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00:02:23,131 --> 00:02:24,531
I guess I will.
55
00:02:24,599 --> 00:02:27,434
Yeah, well, heh... hey, let's
pretend that football game
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00:02:27,502 --> 00:02:28,902
is happening right now,
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00:02:28,971 --> 00:02:30,754
and you can take that shirt off.
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00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:34,410
[SIGHS] Shirt and skins. You're skins.
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00:02:34,876 --> 00:02:36,035
Ah. [CHUCKLES]
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00:02:36,116 --> 00:02:37,558
[CALM ROCK MUSIC]
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00:02:39,747 --> 00:02:43,293
I'm sure Ms. Cannon will be
along any moment now.
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Does this look even to you?
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00:02:47,077 --> 00:02:48,636
Sorry I'm late.
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Oh, boy.
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[SIGHS] Jesus, Cecelia.
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00:02:54,254 --> 00:02:56,262
I know. Sorry, guys.
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00:02:56,331 --> 00:02:58,732
I was protesting
the use of plastic straws.
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00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,200
- They kill animals.
- We know.
69
00:03:00,268 --> 00:03:03,199
That turtle video
you showed us made Lauren cry.
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00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:06,139
So, what do we do today?
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00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:08,918
Today we are using
old toilet paper rolls
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00:03:08,943 --> 00:03:10,668
to make rain sticks.
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Ew, what's on them?
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00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:17,113
Oh, shoot. My tahini must've spilled.
75
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,574
She's nice, but girlfriend's a disaster.
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00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:23,324
[ROCK MUSIC]
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00:03:24,593 --> 00:03:27,215
No, Annie, there's no C in "bake."
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00:03:27,216 --> 00:03:28,295
It's a K.
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00:03:28,363 --> 00:03:30,030
What are you doing with my student?
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00:03:30,098 --> 00:03:31,898
I'm just helping Annie prepare
81
00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:33,867
for your vocabulary test tomorrow
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00:03:33,935 --> 00:03:35,135
because I'm a good teacher
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00:03:35,203 --> 00:03:37,277
and I want every student to do well.
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00:03:37,302 --> 00:03:38,894
You lying sack of shit.
85
00:03:39,297 --> 00:03:40,830
Sorry, Annie.
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00:03:40,992 --> 00:03:43,699
I meant "lying sack of shirts,"
like a laundry pile.
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00:03:44,402 --> 00:03:46,691
Go ahead, Toby, tutor all you want.
88
00:03:46,716 --> 00:03:48,593
I have won Fantasy Class
five years in a row
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00:03:48,617 --> 00:03:51,251
and you are not gonna break
my streak, you asshole rookie.
90
00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:55,524
Sorry, Annie, I meant "asphalt rookie."
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00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,355
Like someone you walk all over.
92
00:03:58,074 --> 00:04:00,066
- You're going down.
- In your dreams.
93
00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:01,472
I'm gonna eff you up.
94
00:04:02,097 --> 00:04:04,697
What? I got it right that time.
I didn't say [BLEEP]
95
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,899
[BLEEP]!
96
00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:07,761
[MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC]
97
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:11,304
What happened to the gender
neutral bathrooms?
98
00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:13,807
When you bike to work,
you miss the morning gossip.
99
00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:15,708
The LSE voted to change them back.
100
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:16,816
[GASPS]
101
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,840
Oh, hell, no.
102
00:04:19,097 --> 00:04:22,207
Members of the LSE,
we must make all students
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00:04:22,232 --> 00:04:24,098
of Fillmore feel accepted.
104
00:04:24,319 --> 00:04:26,653
Bring back gender neutral bathrooms.
105
00:04:26,721 --> 00:04:28,488
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
106
00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:36,963
[ROCK MUSIC]
107
00:04:37,032 --> 00:04:38,898
For the engagement party, I was thinking
108
00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:41,034
the play settings
should be rustic burlap.
109
00:04:41,103 --> 00:04:43,369
I was thinking the same thing.
110
00:04:43,438 --> 00:04:45,405
And speaking of the engagement party,
111
00:04:45,474 --> 00:04:47,340
I have a little surprise for you.
112
00:04:47,409 --> 00:04:49,320
Is it a ranch fountain
for the chicken nuggets?
113
00:04:49,344 --> 00:04:51,730
Oh, I'm gonna dunk so many nuggets.
114
00:04:52,013 --> 00:04:53,446
No.
115
00:04:53,748 --> 00:04:56,644
I invited your parents
to stay with me for the week.
116
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:58,496
Yeah, I figured since
I haven't met them yet,
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00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,231
the engagement party would be
the perfect time
118
00:05:00,255 --> 00:05:02,655
- to get us all together.
- Oh, my gosh.
119
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,614
That's so sweet. When are they arriving?
120
00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:07,097
Any minute.
121
00:05:07,929 --> 00:05:09,095
Oh [GROANS].
122
00:05:09,164 --> 00:05:10,497
Mary Louise, what're you doing?
123
00:05:10,565 --> 00:05:12,165
They can't know I spend the night here.
124
00:05:12,234 --> 00:05:14,834
- But we're not having sex.
- Who cares?
125
00:05:14,903 --> 00:05:16,808
They don't even know we hold hands.
126
00:05:17,021 --> 00:05:20,589
Oh, and don't tell them
we watch "Cheers."
127
00:05:20,775 --> 00:05:22,275
- They hate it.
- Why?
128
00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:24,222
Shelley Long's a single woman
working at a bar.
129
00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:25,945
She's like the '80s Mary Magdalene.
130
00:05:26,014 --> 00:05:27,972
- [BELL RINGS]
- [GASPS, SQUEALS]
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00:05:28,817 --> 00:05:30,324
[TENSE MUSIC]
132
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,082
133
00:05:34,256 --> 00:05:36,422
- [CHUCKLES]
- Mom, Dad.
134
00:05:36,491 --> 00:05:37,657
- Sweetheart.
- Hi.
135
00:05:37,726 --> 00:05:41,027
- There's my little angel.
- Oh. Hi.
136
00:05:41,096 --> 00:05:43,433
- Hi.
- Aw.
137
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,742
So nice to finally meet you. I'm...
138
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:49,199
Oh, my, look at this hip outfit.
139
00:05:50,105 --> 00:05:52,839
- [GASPING LAUGH]
- Ooh, a fire. Fancy.
140
00:05:52,908 --> 00:05:54,238
[LAUGHS]
141
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:55,808
Yep.
142
00:05:59,473 --> 00:06:01,206
Thank you so much for coming over
143
00:06:01,275 --> 00:06:03,341
to help me with breakfast, sweetheart.
144
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:05,811
That's for your father. [CHUCKLES]
145
00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:08,457
- Thank you.
- Morning.
146
00:06:09,011 --> 00:06:10,316
Morning. [GASPS]
147
00:06:10,751 --> 00:06:12,384
- Sweet corn.
- Uh, uh, ah.
148
00:06:12,453 --> 00:06:14,543
- Hey, what...
- Oh, boy.
149
00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:17,155
Joanna, honey, open your eyes.
He's gone.
150
00:06:17,224 --> 00:06:19,057
What are you thinking?
151
00:06:19,126 --> 00:06:21,593
Coming to breakfast
with my parents in the nude?
152
00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:24,196
- I'm not nude.
- You practically are.
153
00:06:24,264 --> 00:06:25,730
My mom saw your nipples.
154
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:27,863
For her that's a romantic encounter.
155
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,236
Go put on a long sleeve
button-down shirt.
156
00:06:31,305 --> 00:06:32,699
Okay.
157
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,082
Wait, what're you wearing?
158
00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:39,004
Clothes. Now, go.
159
00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:41,785
But he didn't even
have hair on his chest.
160
00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:43,886
- [SIGHS]
- It's unnatural.
161
00:06:44,685 --> 00:06:46,058
162
00:06:51,535 --> 00:06:54,613
Well, well, well, if it isn't Tim Brady.
163
00:06:54,977 --> 00:06:56,610
It's Tom Brodie.
164
00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:58,525
And what a great comparison.
165
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:01,199
We actually wear
the same style UGG boots.
166
00:07:01,268 --> 00:07:02,504
Mm.
167
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,316
- I have a trade proposal for you.
- I'm listening.
168
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,172
I'm interested in two of your students.
169
00:07:07,241 --> 00:07:08,773
Bianca B. And Harry L.
170
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,910
No can do. They suck butt individually,
171
00:07:11,979 --> 00:07:13,945
but their cooperation is stellar,
172
00:07:14,014 --> 00:07:15,981
and there's a group project coming up.
173
00:07:16,049 --> 00:07:19,199
Too bad, 'cause I was gonna
offer you Bobby G.
174
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,802
Bobby G.?
175
00:07:21,277 --> 00:07:23,199
Isn't he your academic standout?
176
00:07:23,293 --> 00:07:25,590
He is, but my fantasy class
is skewing a little too
177
00:07:25,659 --> 00:07:27,492
"Big Bang Theory," so I'm in the market
178
00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:29,254
for behavior and attendance.
179
00:07:31,465 --> 00:07:33,665
- What do you think?
- You have yourself a deal,
180
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:35,934
- little lady.
- Ooh [LAUGHS].
181
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:38,303
Shazam. Bobby G.'s dad
left them this week,
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00:07:38,372 --> 00:07:41,506
the kid's life is in shambles.
Ah, enjoy, jackass.
183
00:07:41,575 --> 00:07:43,949
- Uh!
- Up the butt, Chelsea.
184
00:07:43,974 --> 00:07:45,410
[GRUNTS EXCITEDLY]
185
00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:47,472
You got me right up the butt.
186
00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:53,418
- You okay, Ms. Cannon?
- I'm sorry, guys.
187
00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:55,020
I'm just a little bummed.
188
00:07:55,088 --> 00:07:57,522
I tried protesting
for gender neutral bathrooms
189
00:07:57,591 --> 00:07:59,157
but no one took me seriously.
190
00:07:59,226 --> 00:08:01,960
- Can we be honest with you?
- Sure.
191
00:08:02,029 --> 00:08:05,840
No one takes you seriously
because you're a mess.
192
00:08:05,957 --> 00:08:07,799
I mean, look at what you're wearing.
193
00:08:07,824 --> 00:08:10,302
Are you a teacher or someone
selling non-food items
194
00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:11,603
at a farmer's market?
195
00:08:11,672 --> 00:08:13,405
And after five minutes
196
00:08:13,473 --> 00:08:17,342
of hearing you talk
about your macrobiotic diet,
197
00:08:17,411 --> 00:08:19,004
people wanna hang themselves.
198
00:08:19,077 --> 00:08:21,156
Wow. Okay.
199
00:08:21,181 --> 00:08:24,316
We're not trying to be mean,
but people make decisions
200
00:08:24,384 --> 00:08:27,852
about you based on how you look and act.
201
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:31,656
Yeah, if anybody knows how
judgmental the world can be,
202
00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,283
it's kids in Special Ed.
203
00:08:33,308 --> 00:08:35,560
We're just trying to look out for you
204
00:08:35,629 --> 00:08:39,385
- like you look out for us.
- Thanks, guys.
205
00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:40,966
[WIDELIFE'S "ALL THINGS" PLAYING]
206
00:08:41,034 --> 00:08:44,369
Combing your hair once a day
says to the world,
207
00:08:44,438 --> 00:08:46,683
"I'm not off my psych meds."
208
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,326
For style, I'd like to see you simplify.
209
00:08:50,379 --> 00:08:52,789
Wearing jewelry from different
ethnic groups can look like
210
00:08:52,813 --> 00:08:55,680
a potpourri of cultural appropriation.
211
00:08:55,863 --> 00:08:58,550
- Try this.
- Mm, how chic.
212
00:08:58,691 --> 00:09:01,886
Ants on a log is a simple,
healthy vegan snack.
213
00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:04,990
And it won't leave you
smelling like the dumpster
214
00:09:05,058 --> 00:09:07,043
behind Panda Express.
215
00:09:07,594 --> 00:09:09,494
Yeah, it's true
216
00:09:09,563 --> 00:09:11,263
All things just keep getting better
217
00:09:11,331 --> 00:09:14,832
All things just keep getting better
218
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:21,006
Mr. Pearson, may I go
to the nurse's office
219
00:09:21,074 --> 00:09:23,246
to get my ADHD medication?
220
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:25,807
Let me just check something, Freddy.
221
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,644
Mm, Ms. Snap's team.
222
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,549
Instead of your medication today,
223
00:09:31,618 --> 00:09:33,952
how would you like a little treat?
224
00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:37,822
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm, that's it.
225
00:09:37,891 --> 00:09:40,158
Eat up, every last bite.
226
00:09:40,227 --> 00:09:41,426
BOTH: [SCREAMING]
227
00:09:41,495 --> 00:09:43,528
Freddy, no.
228
00:09:43,597 --> 00:09:44,774
I think we're gonna have to send him
229
00:09:44,798 --> 00:09:46,164
to the principal's office.
230
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:48,066
I can't afford another
demerit on my team.
231
00:09:48,135 --> 00:09:50,418
Drop the stick, Freddy.
Drop the stick... ow.
232
00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:52,949
Freddy. Drop the stick, Freddy!
233
00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:54,363
[GIGGLES]
234
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:02,347
- Mary Louise, hand check.
- Ah.
235
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,574
And you better get going
if you wanna get home by 9:00.
236
00:10:06,082 --> 00:10:07,652
Why do you wanna be home by 9:00?
237
00:10:07,721 --> 00:10:09,354
For bedtime, you silly goose.
238
00:10:09,379 --> 00:10:10,900
You know that I go to bed at 9:00 p.m.,
239
00:10:10,924 --> 00:10:12,302
and I don't know what time you go to bed
240
00:10:12,326 --> 00:10:14,504
because I'm never here. Night night.
241
00:10:15,262 --> 00:10:16,472
Mm.
242
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,144
[MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC]
243
00:10:23,537 --> 00:10:24,769
244
00:10:27,982 --> 00:10:29,261
Psst.
245
00:10:30,043 --> 00:10:31,480
Psst.
246
00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:34,079
Hey, what're you doing here?
247
00:10:34,147 --> 00:10:36,348
I missed getting a chance
to say goodnight to you.
248
00:10:36,563 --> 00:10:39,082
Well, isn't this a nice surprise?
249
00:10:45,393 --> 00:10:46,737
Ba dum
250
00:10:47,675 --> 00:10:49,090
Ba dum
251
00:10:49,842 --> 00:10:51,873
-
Ba dum
- What's this?
252
00:10:51,898 --> 00:10:55,215
Oh, it's just a little show for you.
253
00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:58,652
Ba dum Ba dum
254
00:10:59,373 --> 00:11:02,402
[IN A DEEP VOICE]
Ba dum
255
00:11:03,543 --> 00:11:06,613
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Ba dum Ba dum
256
00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:09,714
Ba dum Ba dum
257
00:11:09,783 --> 00:11:11,883
Ba dum
258
00:11:11,952 --> 00:11:14,185
Mary Louise Rebecca Cleinice Bennigan.
259
00:11:14,254 --> 00:11:15,720
- Ah!
- Ah, John-Paul.
260
00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:17,655
Go home. Now.
261
00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:19,691
Okay. Sorry, Daddy.
262
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,926
[WHIMPERS] Sorry.
263
00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:24,707
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.
264
00:11:28,519 --> 00:11:30,468
- We... we were just...
- Are you erect?
265
00:11:30,537 --> 00:11:31,636
What?
266
00:11:31,705 --> 00:11:33,652
Are you erect?
267
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,097
- Uh... uh, no.
- Good.
268
00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:38,222
Goodnight.
269
00:11:38,577 --> 00:11:39,808
[ROCK MUSIC]
270
00:11:43,762 --> 00:11:45,238
We need to talk about your parents.
271
00:11:45,263 --> 00:11:47,613
I think I was able to
convince my dad it was a dream.
272
00:11:47,692 --> 00:11:49,659
No, Mary Louise, you need to be honest.
273
00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:51,060
You can't keep lying to them.
274
00:11:51,129 --> 00:11:52,894
I'm not lying to them.
275
00:11:53,074 --> 00:11:55,197
They have a very ideal vision
of who I am
276
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,668
and you're ruining it.
277
00:11:57,011 --> 00:11:58,678
I'm ruining it? How?
278
00:11:58,703 --> 00:12:00,160
By being a part of your life?
279
00:12:00,238 --> 00:12:01,768
How do you think that makes me feel?
280
00:12:01,793 --> 00:12:03,738
The only people that you seem
to care about lately
281
00:12:03,762 --> 00:12:05,910
- are your parents.
- That is absolutely not true.
282
00:12:05,935 --> 00:12:07,601
Okay, hottie.
283
00:12:07,816 --> 00:12:09,472
Hotshot. Hotshots.
284
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,261
First question.
285
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:13,620
Whose opinion matters most to you?
286
00:12:13,906 --> 00:12:15,004
[SIGHS]
287
00:12:16,025 --> 00:12:17,167
- Mary Louise.
- My parents.
288
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:19,832
- Mary Louise.
- Okay, fine, fine.
289
00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:21,346
I'll talk to them.
290
00:12:21,813 --> 00:12:23,386
- Losers.
- Melanie!
291
00:12:23,504 --> 00:12:24,621
Shh.
292
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:27,137
[MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC]
293
00:12:27,269 --> 00:12:29,486
And as someone who's always
been on the outside,
294
00:12:29,554 --> 00:12:31,582
I believe we should
celebrate our differences.
295
00:12:31,757 --> 00:12:35,525
Amazing what a comb and
a little deodorant can do.
296
00:12:35,594 --> 00:12:38,528
It's our job as educators
to protect our students,
297
00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:40,183
not alienate them.
298
00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:41,972
The more accepting we are of others,
299
00:12:41,997 --> 00:12:43,663
including our transgender students,
300
00:12:43,757 --> 00:12:45,277
the more we grow in turn.
301
00:12:45,393 --> 00:12:47,160
No!
302
00:12:48,909 --> 00:12:50,136
What?
303
00:12:50,676 --> 00:12:52,019
Oh, sorry.
304
00:12:52,044 --> 00:12:54,411
Not "no, I don't support
people's gender identities."
305
00:12:54,479 --> 00:12:56,754
No that Davey P. just got pink eye.
306
00:12:57,269 --> 00:12:59,294
It's like these little freaks
are farting directly
307
00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:00,738
into each other's eyes.
308
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,293
[INHALES SHARPLY] Mm.
309
00:13:03,318 --> 00:13:06,988
Thank you, Cecelia, for that
very impressive presentation.
310
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,160
But we can't vote on
the same issue twice in a year.
311
00:13:10,228 --> 00:13:11,695
- [GASPS]
- Official policy.
312
00:13:11,763 --> 00:13:13,832
Then why'd you let me get
through my whole speech?
313
00:13:13,857 --> 00:13:15,472
Because it was so good.
314
00:13:16,043 --> 00:13:17,667
And I can promise you this.
315
00:13:17,736 --> 00:13:20,199
Gender neutral bathrooms
will be the first thing
316
00:13:20,224 --> 00:13:21,584
on the agenda next year.
317
00:13:21,769 --> 00:13:23,673
I wish more people would show up
318
00:13:23,742 --> 00:13:25,840
with such well-thought-out
presentations.
319
00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:29,045
And the next time that
you have a concern or idea,
320
00:13:29,114 --> 00:13:30,425
I think that I speak for the council
321
00:13:30,449 --> 00:13:32,324
when I say we are all ears.
322
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,941
Also, I couldn't take
my eyes off your blazer.
323
00:13:34,966 --> 00:13:36,199
Is that Ann Taylor LOFT?
324
00:13:36,355 --> 00:13:38,988
- Ann Taylor.
- Damn.
325
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,266
[ROCK MUSIC]
326
00:13:41,593 --> 00:13:43,105
BOTH: [GRUNTING]
327
00:13:44,529 --> 00:13:47,664
We need to see the attendance
sheets for the other classes.
328
00:13:47,847 --> 00:13:50,300
Are you still playing that dumbass game?
329
00:13:50,369 --> 00:13:54,090
Hi. I need to pull my son
Howie out of class.
330
00:13:54,217 --> 00:13:56,238
His Pop-Pop just moved to hospice.
331
00:13:56,658 --> 00:13:58,225
I wanna make sure he says goodbye.
332
00:13:58,543 --> 00:14:01,238
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yes, of course, let me...
333
00:14:01,263 --> 00:14:02,629
No, he can't...
334
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:08,340
go, because he has a spelling
test I really need him to take.
335
00:14:08,445 --> 00:14:11,246
But didn't you just hear
336
00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:14,624
how he has to say
goodbye to his Pop-Pop?
337
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:16,292
Yes, so why don't you...
338
00:14:16,361 --> 00:14:18,828
I'm sure the old man
can hold on for one more day.
339
00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:20,497
- He has cancer.
- Which one?
340
00:14:20,565 --> 00:14:22,769
- Some of them aren't that bad.
- All right, enough.
341
00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:26,369
Mrs. Gower, I'm terribly sorry.
342
00:14:26,438 --> 00:14:29,090
You can go ahead and wait
for Howie in the hallway.
343
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,810
You two should be ashamed of yourselves.
344
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:36,613
These are children's lives
you're messing with.
345
00:14:36,673 --> 00:14:38,506
Shut it down now,
346
00:14:38,692 --> 00:14:41,493
or I'll report you both
to Principal Duffy.
347
00:14:44,846 --> 00:14:47,090
Here. Merry early Christmas.
348
00:14:49,935 --> 00:14:52,569
A $500 Target gift card?
349
00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:53,863
[GASPS]
350
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:56,644
You know, Mavis, sometimes...
351
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,550
Sometimes I do lose my faith
in humanity...
352
00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:01,041
Don't make this a thing.
353
00:15:01,304 --> 00:15:03,699
- Okay.
- Your mustache is uneven.
354
00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:06,214
[ROCK MUSIC]
355
00:15:08,213 --> 00:15:09,347
356
00:15:10,279 --> 00:15:12,113
Mom, Dad.
357
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,871
Sweetheart, where's your khaki skirt?
358
00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:17,035
I don't really wear those anymore.
359
00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:21,418
But you look so pretty
with your ankles covered.
360
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:24,004
Yeah, but I'm an adult now,
361
00:15:24,029 --> 00:15:25,965
and I choose to dress like this.
362
00:15:26,631 --> 00:15:29,082
And there are some other things
you should know.
363
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:31,732
We watch "Cheers."
364
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,233
We hold hands.
365
00:15:33,258 --> 00:15:36,433
And dancing with my pants down
isn't a regular thing,
366
00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:37,652
but I did enjoy it.
367
00:15:37,677 --> 00:15:39,230
I knew it wasn't a dream.
368
00:15:39,262 --> 00:15:42,096
I really appreciate all
the values you instilled in me
369
00:15:42,121 --> 00:15:45,567
as a child, but I need
to make my own decisions now.
370
00:15:45,847 --> 00:15:47,936
I just wanna be honest with you both.
371
00:15:48,175 --> 00:15:51,706
Well, this is a lot to take in.
372
00:15:51,775 --> 00:15:54,082
It really is. "Cheers"?
373
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:56,945
You know how we feel about
that druggie Woody Harrelson.
374
00:15:57,566 --> 00:16:00,152
But we want you to be happy, sweetheart.
375
00:16:01,046 --> 00:16:02,145
Thanks, Dad.
376
00:16:02,636 --> 00:16:04,386
- [STIRRING MUSIC]
- [CLINKS GLASS]
377
00:16:04,636 --> 00:16:07,322
Attention. Attention, everyone.
378
00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:09,636
I'd like to make a toast.
379
00:16:09,808 --> 00:16:13,113
I just wanna thank you all
for coming out tonight.
380
00:16:13,402 --> 00:16:15,530
And I also wanna thank my partner,
381
00:16:15,801 --> 00:16:17,133
my main squeeze,
382
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:18,893
the Lewis to my Clark,
383
00:16:18,918 --> 00:16:20,721
the peanut butter to my jelly,
384
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,671
the chips to my dip,
the cream to my corn.
385
00:16:22,739 --> 00:16:25,306
I have a lot of those. They're all food.
386
00:16:25,707 --> 00:16:28,183
My life is so much richer
with you in it.
387
00:16:28,794 --> 00:16:30,627
The hamburger to my helper. [SNORTLES]
388
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:33,481
I'm sorry, I had to.
That one was really good.
389
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,070
Cheers.
390
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,574
- ALL: Cheers.
- Again with that show?
391
00:16:39,356 --> 00:16:40,519
Mm.
392
00:16:43,027 --> 00:16:44,125
[SNIFFS] Mm.
393
00:16:44,194 --> 00:16:45,260
Listen.
394
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,307
I might have taken things
a little too far.
395
00:16:48,332 --> 00:16:49,346
Me too.
396
00:16:49,371 --> 00:16:51,691
I shouldn't have told Maria S.
it was Spring Break.
397
00:16:51,863 --> 00:16:53,986
She has completely missed her
times tables.
398
00:16:54,011 --> 00:16:56,604
I'm just so sick of
paying for school supplies
399
00:16:56,673 --> 00:16:58,855
- with my own money.
- Same.
400
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,706
Also, this is dumb, but I think
the reason I get so crazy
401
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,731
about Fantasy Class is
because it's the only time
402
00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:07,121
I get recognized as the best teacher.
403
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,469
Hopefully, some day, if I work hard,
404
00:17:09,538 --> 00:17:11,590
I'll get recognized
as a great real teacher.
405
00:17:11,973 --> 00:17:13,215
[LAUGHS]
406
00:17:15,256 --> 00:17:16,933
- What's so funny?
- Oh.
407
00:17:17,712 --> 00:17:19,979
- You're serious?
- Of course I'm serious.
408
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:22,566
You thought I was joking about
wanting to be a great teacher?
409
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:25,451
Yes. You put no effort into teaching.
410
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,863
And historically, you have been bad.
411
00:17:27,949 --> 00:17:29,689
That is so offensive. I take my kids
412
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,957
on more field trips
than anyone in this school.
413
00:17:31,982 --> 00:17:33,855
Great speech.
414
00:17:33,992 --> 00:17:36,125
You must be the 'rents. I'm Deb.
415
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:38,504
- Ah, nice to meet you.
- Thanks for coming.
416
00:17:38,529 --> 00:17:40,200
My pleasure. Where's Blake?
417
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,569
You made your class use Bunsen burners
418
00:17:42,637 --> 00:17:44,277
to heat up your bikini wax.
419
00:17:44,302 --> 00:17:46,035
They were learning science.
420
00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:47,569
- Who's Blake?
- My son.
421
00:17:47,594 --> 00:17:50,028
- He's at my ex's.
- That is not science!
422
00:17:50,053 --> 00:17:52,153
- You have a son?
- You were married?
423
00:17:52,178 --> 00:17:54,078
- I can explain.
- You never told them?
424
00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:55,302
- Ah!
- [GRUNTS]
425
00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:57,136
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- [THUMPS]
426
00:17:57,972 --> 00:17:59,285
- ALL: [GASP]
- Oh.
427
00:17:59,354 --> 00:18:00,582
[MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC]
428
00:18:08,942 --> 00:18:10,058
I'm sorry.
429
00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:12,840
Please tell us that
the marriage was annulled.
430
00:18:12,865 --> 00:18:15,199
I'm not apologizing to you guys.
431
00:18:16,718 --> 00:18:18,449
I'm apologizing to you.
432
00:18:19,949 --> 00:18:21,793
I'm so sorry about this week,
433
00:18:21,818 --> 00:18:23,925
and for not being completely honest.
434
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,404
You and Blake are my whole world
435
00:18:26,429 --> 00:18:29,644
and I'm so proud of the family
that we're building together.
436
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,082
I'm sorry I ever hid that,
and I can't wait to marry you.
437
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:34,785
[STIRRING MUSIC]
438
00:18:35,972 --> 00:18:38,183
And because I want everything
on the table,
439
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:41,350
- we've tongue-kissed.
- Mary Louise.
440
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:42,683
No. No secrets.
441
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:45,004
- And he's had a finger in me.
- Mary Louise.
442
00:18:45,028 --> 00:18:47,028
And he's eating me out.
443
00:18:47,466 --> 00:18:48,722
Big time.
444
00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:54,804
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445
00:18:54,854 --> 00:18:59,404
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