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1
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[ROCK MUSIC]
2
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:05,033
Some of the parishioners
didn't like the statue he bought,
3
00:00:05,058 --> 00:00:07,546
but then Pastor Ted explained
that with all the walking
4
00:00:07,571 --> 00:00:10,679
He did, Jesus probably did have abs,
5
00:00:10,903 --> 00:00:12,238
so we're gonna keep it.
6
00:00:12,593 --> 00:00:14,390
Oh, looks like we got a new neighbor.
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:15,585
Ugh, good.
8
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That old couple was so annoying.
9
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The husband getting wheeled out
for dialysis every day,
10
00:00:19,829 --> 00:00:22,101
it's like, we get it. You're dying.
11
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:25,960
Seems nice.
12
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,500
I wonder if they've got kids.
13
00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:29,359
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
14
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[BEAR GRUNTS]
15
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Is that a...
16
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Yep, that's a bear.
17
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[ROCK MUSIC]
18
00:00:42,782 --> 00:00:46,867
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
19
00:00:47,164 --> 00:00:48,432
The sitch is cray.
20
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Why would anyone own a bear,
21
00:00:50,025 --> 00:00:51,273
especially near a school?
22
00:00:51,298 --> 00:00:53,279
I mean, what's to stop it
from walking onto campus?
23
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,240
If it's a pet, he's overcompensating.
24
00:00:55,265 --> 00:00:57,607
You know what they say:
big pet, little dick.
25
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I'll go talk to him.
26
00:00:59,042 --> 00:01:00,577
I'm sure once I express our concerns,
27
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he'll be reasonable and put up a fence.
28
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- Aloha!
- Hey!
29
00:01:05,373 --> 00:01:06,616
Look at your fun hair.
30
00:01:06,683 --> 00:01:08,385
- Thanks.
- What are you doing here?
31
00:01:08,452 --> 00:01:10,396
I thought you had two more
weeks of maternity leave?
32
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:12,789
Ugh, I needed a leave from my leave.
33
00:01:12,856 --> 00:01:15,492
Compared to staying home
and taking care of a newborn,
34
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:17,326
work is a vacation.
35
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,728
I can't spend any more time
36
00:01:18,795 --> 00:01:22,132
with that gassy, defecating blob of fat.
37
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[GASPS] Deb!
38
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Relax, I'm talking about Damien.
39
00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,076
Oh, hello there,
40
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coffee I didn't have to make
with one hand.
41
00:01:31,199 --> 00:01:32,242
That's from yesterday.
42
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Mmm, tastes like freedom.
43
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,179
Good morning, ladies. Uh-oh.
44
00:01:37,475 --> 00:01:40,694
Oh, I never realized
there was a rug here.
45
00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:42,220
How interesting.
46
00:01:42,476 --> 00:01:45,956
Hmm, squares and squares.
47
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,342
Okay, what was that?
48
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,894
Yeah, I thought your breakup
wasn't that bad.
49
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:53,859
It wasn't. I just never want
to see him again, ever,
50
00:01:54,109 --> 00:01:56,666
and if he gets hit by
a bus, then so be it.
51
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:58,668
Oh, good, I thought there was an issue.
52
00:01:58,735 --> 00:02:00,604
I just really need a break from him.
53
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,506
Luckily, I have jury duty tomorrow.
54
00:02:02,531 --> 00:02:04,474
I hope I get sequestered
for one of those cases
55
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,119
where they catch a guy
who's been eating people
56
00:02:06,143 --> 00:02:08,257
and using their skulls as soup bowls.
57
00:02:08,468 --> 00:02:11,615
Honestly, that sounds delightful.
58
00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,875
[ROCK MUSIC]
59
00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:18,221
Look what I drew, Miss Cannon.
60
00:02:18,321 --> 00:02:19,625
Oh, it's a bear,
61
00:02:19,945 --> 00:02:21,264
and you're riding it.
62
00:02:21,289 --> 00:02:23,827
- Yeah.
- Another reason why art sucks.
63
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:27,030
Miss Snap, at recess, can we
please go play with the bear?
64
00:02:27,097 --> 00:02:29,599
No! No one go near the bear.
65
00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:30,904
Bears are dangerous.
66
00:02:30,929 --> 00:02:32,436
Pooh bear isn't dangerous.
67
00:02:32,502 --> 00:02:34,789
He spends all of his time
with a tiny pig,
68
00:02:34,814 --> 00:02:35,968
and he never eats him.
69
00:02:35,993 --> 00:02:37,541
Man, I wish I had a bear.
70
00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:39,576
I'd trick it out like a Build-A-Bear
71
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:41,320
and make him look like my uncle.
72
00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:44,648
I'd give him wraparound
sunglasses, cutoff jean shorts,
73
00:02:44,714 --> 00:02:46,616
and put him on a Jet Ski.
74
00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:49,186
Okay, I know bears seem cool
on TV and in books,
75
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,688
but real bears aren't like
Paddington or Yogi
76
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,015
or big hairy rugged masculine gay guys.
77
00:02:54,226 --> 00:02:55,902
That bear across the street
could kill you.
78
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,161
If bears aren't awesome,
then why did Chicago
79
00:02:58,228 --> 00:03:01,297
name a football
and a baseball team after them?
80
00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:03,530
[ROCK MUSIC]
81
00:03:05,374 --> 00:03:06,570
[SNORING]
82
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,890
Good morning.
83
00:03:14,147 --> 00:03:15,448
This is the worst.
84
00:03:15,531 --> 00:03:16,847
We could be here forever.
85
00:03:16,913 --> 00:03:18,937
[GASPS] Oh, do you really think so?
86
00:03:19,057 --> 00:03:20,242
Caroline?
87
00:03:22,274 --> 00:03:23,414
Toby.
88
00:03:24,226 --> 00:03:25,554
What are you doing here?
89
00:03:25,843 --> 00:03:27,591
I'm here for jury duty.
90
00:03:27,657 --> 00:03:28,892
What are you doing here?
91
00:03:29,148 --> 00:03:31,085
I'm here for jury duty too.
92
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:32,921
Ah.
93
00:03:45,154 --> 00:03:46,622
So how are you doing?
94
00:03:47,865 --> 00:03:49,934
Great, really great.
95
00:03:50,101 --> 00:03:51,481
I love my new apartment.
96
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:53,031
It's magical.
97
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:54,562
Even with my limited finances,
98
00:03:54,587 --> 00:03:56,896
I found a place where I can't
see my kitchen from my bed.
99
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,789
- That's nice.
- It is.
100
00:03:58,855 --> 00:04:01,391
Did I tell you I've been taking
spontaneous bike rides?
101
00:04:01,656 --> 00:04:03,326
I've also rediscovered my passion
102
00:04:03,393 --> 00:04:04,687
for cooking eggplant dishes,
103
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,764
and I just found out I have
an aunt I didn't know about.
104
00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:11,117
I can honestly say I've never
been happier in my life.
105
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:18,734
I just got a new Instapot,
so I'm doing great too.
106
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:20,992
[ROCK MUSIC]
107
00:04:22,609 --> 00:04:23,968
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
108
00:04:27,317 --> 00:04:30,053
Mrs. Adler, Tommy
won't let me on the slide.
109
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,223
Uh, did he crap in his pants,
make you change his diaper,
110
00:04:33,323 --> 00:04:36,093
then puke on you while you
wiped cream onto his butthole?
111
00:04:36,453 --> 00:04:37,494
No...
112
00:04:37,561 --> 00:04:39,029
Then roll with it, Jude.
113
00:04:39,054 --> 00:04:41,923
The sun is shining.
The birds are chirping.
114
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,283
Mahalo.
115
00:04:43,503 --> 00:04:45,023
[ROCK MUSIC]
116
00:04:46,382 --> 00:04:48,205
Hidey ho, neighbor.
117
00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:49,920
Hey there.
118
00:04:49,945 --> 00:04:51,041
I'm Mary Louise Bennigan.
119
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:53,443
I teach across the street at Fillmore.
120
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,911
I just wanted to stop by
121
00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:56,580
and welcome you to the neighborhood.
122
00:04:56,646 --> 00:04:58,348
Oh, I'm Gary. Nice to meet you.
123
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,650
My wife and I
just moved here from Wyoming.
124
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,452
Oh, well, welcome.
125
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:05,585
And it's lovely to see what
you've done with the place,
126
00:05:05,632 --> 00:05:08,693
the porch furniture, the potted plants,
127
00:05:08,718 --> 00:05:12,068
and did I happen to notice a loose bear?
128
00:05:12,093 --> 00:05:15,507
Oh, yeah, that's my boy, Chaucer.
[CHUCKLES]
129
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,300
He's a real pistol.
130
00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:19,069
I bet he is.
131
00:05:19,136 --> 00:05:23,073
It's just, I'm a little
concerned about a bear
132
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,442
living across the street from a school.
133
00:05:25,509 --> 00:05:28,779
Don't worry, I would never
let Chaucer off my property.
134
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:31,114
Oh, I know you wouldn't, Gary,
135
00:05:31,181 --> 00:05:34,507
but you can't be with Chaucer
24 to the 7.
136
00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:37,587
And since it seems fairly easy breezy,
137
00:05:37,654 --> 00:05:39,756
you know, maybe you could
put up a little fence
138
00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:42,185
so the big guy doesn't get out.
139
00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:44,728
I completely understand your concern,
140
00:05:44,795 --> 00:05:46,976
but I'm a very responsible bear owner.
141
00:05:47,148 --> 00:05:48,331
Actually, at one point,
142
00:05:48,398 --> 00:05:50,200
I thought about getting rid of Chaucer,
143
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,668
but we had a break-in,
144
00:05:51,735 --> 00:05:54,371
and having a bear
makes my wife feel safer.
145
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,539
Uh-huh.
146
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,840
But what if a child
147
00:05:56,907 --> 00:05:58,553
tries to put his hand
in the bear's mouth?
148
00:05:58,578 --> 00:05:59,776
[BEAR GROWLS]
149
00:05:59,843 --> 00:06:02,145
If a kid wants to put
his hand in Chaucer's mouth,
150
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,614
he's gonna do it.
A fence won't stop him.
151
00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:06,917
Yeah, I guess you have a point.
152
00:06:06,983 --> 00:06:09,352
Plus I checked the ordinances
before I moved,
153
00:06:09,419 --> 00:06:11,721
and there's no law
saying I need a fence.
154
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,657
Oh, really, no law?
155
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:15,625
Oh, you can't argue with that.
156
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,294
- Snickerdoodle?
- Oh!
157
00:06:19,687 --> 00:06:22,190
Mmm, now, these are dangerous.
158
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,546
[BEAR GROANS]
159
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:28,882
[ROCK MUSIC]
160
00:06:30,047 --> 00:06:31,713
We got so lucky with the weather,
161
00:06:31,714 --> 00:06:33,773
and nobody's hanging off my tits.
162
00:06:33,991 --> 00:06:35,163
Life is good.
163
00:06:36,164 --> 00:06:37,626
[GASPS] How'd it go with grizzly man?
164
00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:39,414
- Great.
- So he's gonna put up a fence?
165
00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:41,546
Oh, no. Legally, he doesn't have to.
166
00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:42,656
Right, but he should.
167
00:06:42,681 --> 00:06:44,866
Yeah, but he's a responsible bear owner,
168
00:06:44,891 --> 00:06:46,182
so I don't think we need to worry.
169
00:06:46,183 --> 00:06:48,523
So, what, he's just gonna
Jedi mind trick the bear
170
00:06:48,548 --> 00:06:49,594
into never leaving his yard?
171
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,098
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
172
00:06:51,099 --> 00:06:52,780
After school, we're
taking some real action.
173
00:06:52,804 --> 00:06:55,306
Okay, Cecelia, but don't dump
red paint on the bear.
174
00:06:55,307 --> 00:06:57,085
It's his own fur.
He's allowed to wear it.
175
00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:58,723
We're going to the city council.
176
00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:01,857
So, Councilwoman Taylor, that's
why we'd like some legislation
177
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:04,554
requiring bear owners to have
fences around their yards.
178
00:07:04,579 --> 00:07:06,546
You want me to ban bears?
179
00:07:06,571 --> 00:07:08,734
No, never said that.
180
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:09,875
Didn't even imply it.
181
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:12,718
What's next, you don't
like the way some Shih Tzu
182
00:07:12,743 --> 00:07:15,203
looks at you,
so we outlaw all Shih Tzus?
183
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:17,273
"Oh, that Shih Tzu
might bite my finger."
184
00:07:17,298 --> 00:07:19,554
- Bye-bye, Mr. Scrunch!
- Who's Mr. Scrunch?
185
00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,093
- My Shih Tzu.
- Oh.
186
00:07:21,645 --> 00:07:26,109
Listen, my constituents
all have varying beliefs.
187
00:07:26,134 --> 00:07:29,340
I can't force your particular
opinions on everyone.
188
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,406
Okay, first of all, enough
with the condensation.
189
00:07:32,504 --> 00:07:34,265
- [WHISPERS] Condescension.
- Do not correct me in public!
190
00:07:34,289 --> 00:07:36,828
Second of all, we don't
want to get rid of bears.
191
00:07:36,853 --> 00:07:37,893
We just want our neighbor
192
00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:39,718
to take some extra safety measures.
193
00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:41,075
Okay.
194
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,326
Ladies, I understand your concerns,
195
00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:46,001
and I promise you that
I will look into this issue
196
00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:49,101
and find a fair
and reasonable compromise.
197
00:07:51,273 --> 00:07:54,250
Ew, who are you, Howie Mandel?
198
00:07:54,893 --> 00:07:56,015
[CHUCKLES]
199
00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:57,929
[ROCK MUSIC]
200
00:07:58,625 --> 00:07:59,812
[LAUGHING]
201
00:08:00,789 --> 00:08:02,560
I'm telling you, Apollonia,
202
00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:04,544
you've got to watch "The Golden Girls."
203
00:08:04,545 --> 00:08:06,992
Fair warning: you will crave cheesecake.
204
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:08,062
[LAUGHS]
205
00:08:08,962 --> 00:08:10,578
I don't have good English.
206
00:08:10,673 --> 00:08:12,672
Apollonia, you flirt. [LAUGHING]
207
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,750
- What is this guy's deal?
- I know, right?
208
00:08:17,428 --> 00:08:18,492
Jacob.
209
00:08:18,517 --> 00:08:19,531
Hi, Caroline.
210
00:08:19,585 --> 00:08:20,924
What are you doing here?
211
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:22,699
I'm defending a client.
212
00:08:22,754 --> 00:08:24,734
You finally went back to law school.
213
00:08:25,031 --> 00:08:28,140
Wow, I'm so glad you improved yourself
214
00:08:28,165 --> 00:08:29,695
after we broke up.
215
00:08:29,945 --> 00:08:31,128
[LAUGHING]
216
00:08:31,937 --> 00:08:35,492
So when was the last time
we saw each other?
217
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:39,296
When I proposed to my wife
and you told me to eat shit...
218
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:41,312
repeatedly.
219
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,726
[LAUGHS]
220
00:08:44,195 --> 00:08:47,103
Oh, we did have some fun, didn't we?
221
00:08:47,128 --> 00:08:49,523
That's too much, way too much.
222
00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:53,046
You're pathetic, bringing your
ex-boyfriend to jury duty.
223
00:08:53,071 --> 00:08:54,819
What? I didn't.
224
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,757
And you should talk,
trying to make me jealous
225
00:08:56,781 --> 00:08:58,882
with that woman
in the jewel-toned tracksuit.
226
00:08:58,907 --> 00:09:00,562
I didn't think it would bother you.
227
00:09:00,726 --> 00:09:02,753
How's your stupid new aunt?
228
00:09:02,754 --> 00:09:05,711
How dare you talk
about my new Aunt Connie!
229
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,139
That's it.
You need to get a postponement.
230
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:10,001
Go up to the woman
behind the bulletproof glass...
231
00:09:10,002 --> 00:09:12,001
This is exactly why we broke up.
232
00:09:12,002 --> 00:09:14,836
You have to control every situation.
233
00:09:14,837 --> 00:09:16,975
We didn't break up
because I'm controlling.
234
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,001
We broke up because you
can't handle a strong woman.
235
00:09:20,002 --> 00:09:22,257
Jacob, my man, you get it.
236
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:24,107
Whose fault do you think it was?
237
00:09:24,132 --> 00:09:25,443
I'm just here for a client.
238
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:27,334
Oh! You want to bring
other people into this?
239
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:30,001
Great, we've got a room
full of jurors here.
240
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,226
You want to take me to court?
241
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:32,820
Oh, absolutely.
242
00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,703
Then consider me subpoenaed.
243
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,304
Bum, bum
244
00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:37,453
[ROCK MUSIC FLOURISH]
245
00:09:37,496 --> 00:09:38,744
They're gonna teach me how to teach?
246
00:09:38,768 --> 00:09:40,094
I don't want to be taught how to teach.
247
00:09:40,118 --> 00:09:41,812
I'm a teacher. That's why I teach.
248
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:45,257
Change of plans, people.
249
00:09:46,093 --> 00:09:48,445
There's a new agenda for today.
250
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:49,648
- [BOX SLAMS]
- Oh!
251
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,310
Councilwoman Taylor talked the district
252
00:09:52,335 --> 00:09:56,046
into mandatory
bear preparedness training.
253
00:09:56,390 --> 00:10:00,232
I will be taking you
through a series of exercises
254
00:10:00,257 --> 00:10:05,753
and familiarizing you
with various weapons...
255
00:10:05,754 --> 00:10:06,851
[GRUNTS]
256
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:09,127
In order to protect yourselves
257
00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,335
in the event of a bear attack.
258
00:10:12,468 --> 00:10:14,002
Are you kidding me?
259
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:17,001
Cantaloupe, grocery store muffins,
260
00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:18,804
hard-boiled eggs. [GASPS]
261
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:21,578
And I'm the only one I have to feed.
262
00:10:23,132 --> 00:10:26,044
Is being sad and having low
expectations a hormonal thing?
263
00:10:26,045 --> 00:10:27,419
[ROCK MUSIC FLOURISH]
264
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,623
Mr. Pearson,
265
00:10:28,648 --> 00:10:33,001
would you say that you
can sometimes be insecure?
266
00:10:33,002 --> 00:10:34,836
No, I don't think that's true.
267
00:10:34,837 --> 00:10:38,377
Do you remember the events
of August 4th, 2017,
268
00:10:38,378 --> 00:10:40,044
when I hired an electrician?
269
00:10:40,045 --> 00:10:41,226
Vaguely.
270
00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:43,125
Let me refresh your memory.
271
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,252
You made me fire the electrician
272
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,127
so you could prove what a man you were
273
00:10:47,128 --> 00:10:48,531
and do the work yourself.
274
00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:50,476
And what happened?
275
00:10:52,378 --> 00:10:54,125
[QUIETLY] I zapped my testicles.
276
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:55,570
I'm sorry?
277
00:10:55,627 --> 00:10:57,626
A little louder so the jury
can please hear you?
278
00:10:57,651 --> 00:10:59,460
I zapped my testicles.
279
00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:03,415
You zapped your testicles.
280
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,744
The outlet was waist-level.
281
00:11:05,769 --> 00:11:08,367
Anyone my height would have
zapped their testicles.
282
00:11:08,392 --> 00:11:10,085
No further questions.
283
00:11:12,311 --> 00:11:13,515
Mm-mm.
284
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,078
[INTENSE MUSIC]
285
00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:17,768
"When you encounter a bear,
286
00:11:17,769 --> 00:11:20,296
shield yourself and slowly back away."
287
00:11:20,468 --> 00:11:21,476
[GASPS]
288
00:11:21,501 --> 00:11:23,625
I know it's tempting to eat me
because my ass
289
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,730
looks big, plump, round, and juicy,
290
00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,570
but it's actually just gel pads.
291
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:29,734
That's not true.
292
00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:31,468
I was just trying to trick the bear.
293
00:11:31,493 --> 00:11:34,132
Pass, and no one thinks
your ass looks like that.
294
00:11:34,157 --> 00:11:35,239
[GASPS]
295
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,656
"River rocks are an excellent way
296
00:11:37,681 --> 00:11:39,500
to deter an attacking bear."
297
00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:42,070
- Ow!
- And after seeing you throw,
298
00:11:42,207 --> 00:11:43,914
it's no wonder you teach art.
299
00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:44,976
Pass.
300
00:11:45,173 --> 00:11:47,578
Okay, now, distract him.
301
00:11:48,204 --> 00:11:49,312
Spray the bear musk.
302
00:11:49,337 --> 00:11:50,420
Spray the musk!
303
00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:51,664
Spray the musk!
304
00:11:54,602 --> 00:11:57,287
Mr. Franklin, as someone who was
305
00:11:57,312 --> 00:12:00,406
romantically involved with Ms. Watson,
306
00:12:00,539 --> 00:12:02,906
how would you describe that experience?
307
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,421
Uh, fun at first.
308
00:12:06,006 --> 00:12:07,740
She was smart,
309
00:12:07,765 --> 00:12:09,186
put together, beautiful,
310
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,061
could wear the hell out of a headband,
311
00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:15,461
but, uh, after a few months,
she became very controlling.
312
00:12:16,224 --> 00:12:17,390
Oh?
313
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:19,764
Can you give us an example?
314
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:23,000
She used to make me listen
to a lot of Broadway musicals.
315
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,156
I mean, what man really wants to listen
316
00:12:25,181 --> 00:12:26,953
to the soundtrack to "Carousel," right?
317
00:12:26,978 --> 00:12:31,234
Right? I mean, real men prefer
something sexier, like "Pippin."
318
00:12:32,499 --> 00:12:35,467
Also, she used to go, "Eh, eh, eh"
319
00:12:35,492 --> 00:12:36,563
every time I didn't use a coaster.
320
00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:38,491
Members of the jury, there you have it,
321
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:43,054
proof that Ms. Watson destroys
every relationship she enters.
322
00:12:43,453 --> 00:12:45,575
I rest my case, Your Honor.
323
00:12:46,804 --> 00:12:49,929
Okay, you guys huddle up
by the vending machine
324
00:12:49,954 --> 00:12:51,562
and decide who did the murder.
325
00:12:51,752 --> 00:12:53,226
[ROCK MUSIC FLOURISH]
326
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,575
"Congratulations on completing
327
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,000
"your bear attack preparedness training.
328
00:12:59,025 --> 00:13:00,726
"Use these skills wisely
329
00:13:00,751 --> 00:13:03,281
"to save the lives of your
students and colleagues.
330
00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:06,851
Be the hero your local
government knows you can be."
331
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:08,921
This training was stupid.
332
00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:11,039
It would have been so much
easier to build a fence.
333
00:13:11,064 --> 00:13:13,690
Really? I legit enjoyed being here.
334
00:13:13,804 --> 00:13:16,671
The food was great,
the time was relaxing,
335
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,421
and the company was enjoyable.
336
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:19,656
Five stars.
337
00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:21,093
Come on, Chelsea, chase me.
338
00:13:21,118 --> 00:13:22,851
Try to eat me up like a bear.
339
00:13:22,876 --> 00:13:24,336
[GASPS] Mary Louise, no!
340
00:13:24,361 --> 00:13:25,648
[GASPS]
341
00:13:32,618 --> 00:13:34,015
[INTENSE MUSIC]
342
00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:35,867
[BEAR ROARS]
343
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,171
[BEAR ROARS]
344
00:13:39,825 --> 00:13:41,015
Oh, shit.
345
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:43,648
Remember your training.
346
00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:45,476
[BEAR GROWLS]
347
00:13:45,968 --> 00:13:48,602
Okay, Mr. Bear, just so you know,
348
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,476
I do wear gel pads.
349
00:13:51,929 --> 00:13:53,531
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- [ALL GASP]
350
00:13:56,023 --> 00:13:58,640
- [BEAR ROARS]
- [ALL SCREAMING]
351
00:14:00,561 --> 00:14:01,937
[BEAR GROWLING]
352
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:06,500
[CUP BANGS]
353
00:14:06,911 --> 00:14:09,078
Will the woman with
the bald spot please stand?
354
00:14:11,094 --> 00:14:12,781
Yeah, girl, you.
355
00:14:14,883 --> 00:14:16,384
Have you all decided who's guilty?
356
00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:20,186
No, we got close, but Henry pointed out
357
00:14:20,187 --> 00:14:21,693
that she wears loafers,
358
00:14:21,718 --> 00:14:23,476
which turns some people against her,
359
00:14:23,477 --> 00:14:26,264
and Ned thinks that he wears makeup,
360
00:14:26,289 --> 00:14:28,881
and, well, that threw everybody off,
361
00:14:28,906 --> 00:14:31,928
so, no, we ended up with a hung jury.
362
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:34,522
No! You have to tell us
whose fault it is!
363
00:14:34,547 --> 00:14:36,678
And we have to clear up
this makeup thing!
364
00:14:36,703 --> 00:14:40,338
Your Honor, I'm sorry, I know
this is highly unorthodox,
365
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:42,296
but I... I need to say something.
366
00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:45,929
I can see that you both
have a lot of anger,
367
00:14:45,954 --> 00:14:48,906
but anger is almost always downstream
368
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,273
of some other strong emotion,
369
00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:53,914
and, in this case,
I think that emotion is love.
370
00:14:53,939 --> 00:14:55,031
[TENDER MUSIC]
371
00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,882
Relationships are a two-way street,
372
00:14:56,929 --> 00:15:00,379
and... and for whatever reasons,
it didn't work out for you two,
373
00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:03,504
but you both tried your best, right?
374
00:15:03,505 --> 00:15:06,484
And... and I don't think
either of you are to blame.
375
00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:08,504
Thank you, Jacob.
376
00:15:08,757 --> 00:15:12,250
That was really touching,
eloquent, and thoughtful.
377
00:15:13,572 --> 00:15:15,148
But you can still eat shit.
378
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,781
Mary Louise, spray the
wall with the musk!
379
00:15:19,806 --> 00:15:20,875
Oh, oh, great!
380
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,429
Now he's gonna [BLEEP] us
before he eats us!
381
00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:25,445
[BEAR ROARING]
382
00:15:28,323 --> 00:15:29,445
Ow!
383
00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:31,659
Oh, God, I didn't sign up for this!
384
00:15:31,684 --> 00:15:32,953
I just want to teach!
385
00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:36,053
Oh, my God, ow!
386
00:15:36,078 --> 00:15:38,398
Literally none of these
rocks are hitting the bear!
387
00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:39,890
[BEAR GROWLING]
388
00:15:44,463 --> 00:15:48,039
Caroline, I'm sorry for the way I acted.
389
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:50,046
I want you to be happy.
390
00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:52,304
I want you to be happy too.
391
00:15:52,632 --> 00:15:54,521
You're a good man, and I'm sorry
392
00:15:54,546 --> 00:15:58,156
if my issues with control
ever made you doubt that.
393
00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:00,588
And I'm sorry if my insecurity
394
00:16:00,589 --> 00:16:02,504
sometimes caused me to act like a fool.
395
00:16:02,851 --> 00:16:05,968
I think I just...
didn't want to lose you.
396
00:16:06,631 --> 00:16:10,437
- [MOANING]
- Oh, yeah! Yeah!
397
00:16:11,132 --> 00:16:13,078
- [INTENSE MUSIC]
- Chelsea, take off your shoe!
398
00:16:13,153 --> 00:16:15,039
No! These are Aldo!
399
00:16:15,945 --> 00:16:17,234
Come on.
400
00:16:22,461 --> 00:16:23,731
Oh my God!
401
00:16:23,756 --> 00:16:24,921
[BEAR GROWLS]
402
00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:26,156
This is crazy!
403
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,374
He's never gonna stop chasing us!
404
00:16:28,652 --> 00:16:31,132
I'm gonna fight the bear!
405
00:16:39,658 --> 00:16:40,955
[SCREAMS]
406
00:16:42,351 --> 00:16:43,721
[BEAR ROARS]
407
00:16:47,643 --> 00:16:48,986
[WHIMPERING]
408
00:16:56,631 --> 00:16:58,072
[WHISPERS] I think he's gone.
409
00:17:14,439 --> 00:17:15,752
[BEAR GROANS]
410
00:17:19,987 --> 00:17:21,393
Excuse me, Miss.
411
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,291
You forgot your headband.
412
00:17:23,316 --> 00:17:25,607
You never fail to bang it right off.
413
00:17:25,698 --> 00:17:27,280
Care Bear, what are we doing?
414
00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:30,416
We clearly still have
feelings for each other.
415
00:17:30,781 --> 00:17:32,346
Why don't we get back together?
416
00:17:32,371 --> 00:17:33,453
Uh...
417
00:17:34,161 --> 00:17:36,002
I don't think that's a good idea.
418
00:17:36,448 --> 00:17:37,651
Why?
419
00:17:39,408 --> 00:17:41,440
I think we should just be friends.
420
00:17:41,555 --> 00:17:42,929
Friends?
421
00:17:43,422 --> 00:17:45,921
We just made love in the bathroom
422
00:17:45,946 --> 00:17:47,346
of the county courthouse.
423
00:17:47,416 --> 00:17:49,379
I know, and it wasn't smart.
424
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:52,033
Seeing both you and Jacob today
made me realize
425
00:17:52,058 --> 00:17:54,432
that I have to stop depending on a man
426
00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:56,119
to make my life complete.
427
00:17:57,547 --> 00:17:59,783
I need some time to focus on myself.
428
00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:02,447
So it was just sex?
429
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,619
You... you trollop.
430
00:18:04,644 --> 00:18:05,885
Oh, give me a break.
431
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,205
You got your rocks off too, asshole.
432
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,010
[SOFT MUSIC]
433
00:18:10,682 --> 00:18:11,931
[CLEARS THROAT]
434
00:18:12,456 --> 00:18:17,166
Uh, I want to make this work.
435
00:18:19,179 --> 00:18:20,736
Oh, Apollonia.
436
00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:22,768
437
00:18:46,464 --> 00:18:50,322
Today I join with you
in mourning the loss
438
00:18:50,347 --> 00:18:52,861
of property and productivity
439
00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:56,338
caused by yesterday's
senseless bear attack.
440
00:18:57,129 --> 00:18:59,128
I feel your pain,
441
00:18:59,129 --> 00:19:03,854
but I urge us all
not to politicize this moment.
442
00:19:04,346 --> 00:19:06,977
Sadly, there is no way
443
00:19:07,002 --> 00:19:09,955
to prevent something like this
from happening.
444
00:19:10,186 --> 00:19:11,471
I wish there were.
445
00:19:11,713 --> 00:19:16,471
But today my thoughts
and prayers are with all those
446
00:19:16,496 --> 00:19:18,354
affected by this tragedy.
447
00:19:19,394 --> 00:19:20,728
God bless.
448
00:19:20,753 --> 00:19:21,877
[SCOFFS]
449
00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:26,080
Hi, Gary!
450
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,674
I got your check!
451
00:19:29,431 --> 00:19:30,682
[ROCK MUSIC]
452
00:19:33,658 --> 00:19:34,893
[BEAR ROARS]
453
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,412
Miss Snap, that bear sucks.
454
00:19:38,437 --> 00:19:40,687
He ruined all of my artwork.
455
00:19:41,424 --> 00:19:43,565
Paddington would never have done this.
456
00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:45,135
I know.
457
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,018
If there's no fence, the bear
can still get out, right?
458
00:19:48,043 --> 00:19:49,049
That's right.
459
00:19:49,074 --> 00:19:51,158
So what do we do now?
460
00:19:52,853 --> 00:19:54,174
We wait.
461
00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:03,619
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