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1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:07,007
♪♪
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,075
Ew.
3
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,377
It's the Yellow Pages.
4
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,079
I know. That's what
the "ew" was for.
5
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,347
It's stupid
and it's ugly and I hate.
6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,816
I'm in here.
Under "Gilded Lotus."
7
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,818
Ooh, Gilded Lotus.
8
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,052
It's the name
of my business.
9
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,554
It sounds like
a vagina-piercing place.
10
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,089
No, it doesn't.
11
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,024
It's a play
on "gilding the lily."
12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,826
So why didn't you just call it
"Gilded Lily"?
13
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,828
Because
that name was taken.
14
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,363
By a vagina-piercing
place.
15
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,365
You know, when I'm interested
in hiring someone,
16
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,967
the first thing I do
is I get the phonebook... Yeah.
17
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,836
...and if their name
is in here... Right?
18
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,104
...I don't hire them.
19
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,639
It's 2019.
20
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,641
It's all about branding yourself
on social media.
21
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,210
It just so happens
I'm in a ton of Facebook groups.
22
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,680
And I tweet up a storm.
I am on Instagram.
23
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,715
You have 14 followers.
24
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,418
It's not about quantity.
It's about quality.
25
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:54,221
No, it's about quantity.
You're wrong.
26
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,123
Oh, God, e-even Mae
doesn't follow you.
27
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,824
Mae is a tough nut
to crack --
28
00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,226
She follows Arthur.
29
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,597
Okay, don't worry.
I'm gonna help you.
30
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,898
If you want your business
to blow up,
31
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,234
you have to
project success.
32
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,302
Are you suggesting --
33
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,937
I think we should buy you
some followers.
34
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,939
You can Venmo me back.
35
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,675
I don't have that.
I can write you a check.
36
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,144
[ Sighs ] I can't even
look at you right now.
37
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,812
♪♪
38
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,949
♪ Keep giving me hope
for a better day ♪
39
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:25,552
♪ Keep giving me love
to find a way ♪
40
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:28,488
♪ Through this heaviness
I feel ♪
41
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:34,962
♪ I just need someone to say
everything's okay ♪
42
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,563
♪ Everything's okay ♪
43
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,099
Mm-hmm. Your very own bedroom.
44
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,702
Look at this, man.
How cool is this?
45
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,971
Did you say utilities
were included?
46
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:44,972
[ Beeping ]
Yep.
47
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,974
And the best part is...
48
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,008
[ Click ]
49
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,277
...lint time!
50
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,313
You never know what you're gonna
find in the lint filter.
51
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,414
♪♪
52
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:55,549
Ta-da!
53
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,617
Wow. 25 cents.
54
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,953
You know, just because I live
in the laundry room,
55
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,489
don't expect me to fold
everyone else's clothes.
56
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:05,125
Learning a trade
would be good for you.
57
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,261
Hey, hey!
I-I'll take that.
58
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,496
Easy, buddy.
59
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:10,897
What's up with you
and the turtle?
60
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,100
Gee, I don't know.
What's up with you and my mom?
61
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,602
Excuse me? What --
62
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,604
Hey, is everything okay?
63
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:18,939
Hmm? Is this
about the laundry?
64
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:19,873
Because you don't
have to really do it.
65
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,975
It ain't about the laundry.
66
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,810
It's just I don't like
prying questions.
67
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,680
And I can see
that you don't, either.
68
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,482
So let's just remember that.
69
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,018
♪♪
70
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:34,287
Hey, you guys, it's
Tamryn Tomas Vandaloo...TTV.
71
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:37,491
You guys,
is this mole growing?
72
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,759
[ Groans ]
73
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,193
It's like,
"Seriously, mole?
74
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,429
Right now, mole?
You're gonna do this?"
75
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:45,298
Anyway, I am currently in my
daughter Rabbit's playroom,
76
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,768
and, as you can see,
it's really gross
77
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,169
and she never, ever
wants to be here.
78
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,905
Does anyone have
any pro tips?
79
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,441
[ Clicking ]
"Chair swing.
80
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:58,645
Massive wall decal
with shelves you can climb.
81
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,981
Bring the outdoors in."
82
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,717
Hey. You guys grammin'?
83
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,985
Or you just lurkin'?
84
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,853
I used to be a lurker m'self.
85
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,321
Hey, there's a lot
of new content
86
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,689
on my page these days.
87
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,425
Unsubscribe.
88
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,126
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Sighs ]
89
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,127
Oh, schnapp!
90
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:14,928
Mom's blowin' up!
91
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,197
I just got a reply from TTV.
92
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,800
Stop it.
Mason, she loves my ideas.
93
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,668
She wants to discuss.
94
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,270
TTV! So cool.
95
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,472
Sounds like a bot.
You're a bot.
96
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,606
[ Clicking ]
97
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,475
[ Knock on door ]
[ Sighs ]
98
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:29,576
Lena.
99
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,944
-Hey.
-We have a problem.
100
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,679
I found this
in Milo's book bag.
101
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,215
It's the Room Mom
sign-up sheet.
102
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,484
Oh, I-I don't think
I can do that this year.
103
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,853
I'm trying to get my business
off the ground. [ Sighs ] Oh, yeah.
104
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,988
Pink Lotus.
-Gilded Lotus.
105
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,390
-Oh.
-I'm changing it.
106
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,592
What, are you gonna hang up
your Room Mom Keds?
107
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,094
Turning in your glue gun?
108
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,030
Between Mae, Mason, and the last
four years with Milo,
109
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,199
I've been Room Mom
for over a decade.
110
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,001
Come on.
You're not seriously
111
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,403
gonna make me
feel bad about this.
112
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,371
No, no, no, I'm not trying to
make you feel guilty.
113
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,173
I swear. I-I just --
114
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,042
I'm worried about Milo,
you know?
115
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,010
I don't know if it's a delayed
reaction to the divorce
116
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:07,280
or it's because we've moved him
into the laundry room,
117
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,050
but the kid
is just not himself.
118
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,452
[ Washing machine whirring ]
Hey! It looks great in here.
119
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,588
Yeah, I love what you've done
with the place, bud.
120
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,057
[ Washing machine chimes ]
Oh!
121
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,659
Oh, thank you for that.
No problem.
122
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,596
So, um, it looks like
123
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,332
I'm not gonna be able to
be Room Mom this year. [ Door closes ]
124
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,334
That's fine.
I know women everywhere
125
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,770
are counting on you
for their hysterectomies.
126
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,805
Okay,
that's not what I do.
127
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,173
Oh, no?
No.
128
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:36,943
I want to help people
by decorating their houses.
129
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,079
Oh, well, that's also
important work.
130
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,615
But I want to make sure
you don't feel neglected.
131
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,885
On the contrary. Don't worry
about me. Please. Carry on.
132
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,421
Ah.
133
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,790
Oh, okay.
134
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,958
Maybe there's a way
I can figure out how to --
135
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,693
Ask me to be Room Mom?
136
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,163
No need. I am on it!
I'm in!
137
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,498
You're not exactly
Room Mom material...
138
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,234
No, I am not, son.
I am Room Dad material.
139
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,538
I'm gonna dad that room until
it forgets it even had a mom.
140
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,140
Really, Martin?
Are you sure?
141
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,208
Yes.
142
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,377
Yeah, you know what?
It's my turn, okay?
143
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:14,080
I-I-It was probably my turn
a lot of turns ago, so...
144
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,651
I feel like I want to hug you.
Can I hug you?
145
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,587
I'm not in the business
of turning down hugs.
146
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:24,157
♪♪
147
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,094
♪ What we gonna do
when the vibe roll through? ♪ [ Knock on door ]
148
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,330
♪ When it's feeling so good
and it's feeling so new ♪
149
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,566
♪ It's lit ♪
Oh, hi!
150
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,034
Tamryn: Oh, my God, you guys.
Look at her.
151
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:37,237
She's so confused.
I'm Instastorying our meet-cute.
152
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,139
Oh!
153
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:43,009
♪ It's lit ♪
I didn't realize our meet was gonna be so cute.
154
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,278
Um...I'm Lena.
155
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,013
Hashtag hope
there's a filter.
156
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,815
That really sucked.
157
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,717
Yeah, I'm not gonna post that.
[ Beep ]
158
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:53,086
Hi!
159
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,321
[ Phone thuds ]
Ow! Ohh!
160
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,190
Oh, I want you to meet
my daughter, Rabbit,
161
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,593
and her rabbit,
Pamela Catherine.
162
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,761
Hi!
163
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,430
Rabbit always
wanted a rabbit,
164
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,399
but we were worried it was gonna
be just super confusing,
165
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:07,934
so we named her
Pamela Catherine.
166
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,070
That makes sense.
♪ Run that beat back ♪
167
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,272
Tamryn: Quick poll, you guys --
hire or fire?
168
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,807
Gainfully employed?
169
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,809
Or living on the streets
like a hobo
170
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,544
with a long stick
and a bandana?
171
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,679
Okay, just to clarify,
if this doesn't work out,
172
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,047
I won't be living
on the street!
173
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,716
I was talking
to my followers.
174
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,817
Gotcha. Gotcha.
175
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,051
I just didn't want them
to worry about me.
176
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,920
They won't.
177
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,189
Okay.
178
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,825
So tell us your ideas.
179
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,562
Oh, what?
Oh, now you're talking to me.
180
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:40,433
Okay. So, Tamryn,
I die for your modern aesthetic,
181
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,835
but this playroom
182
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:47,574
needs a serious dose
of warmth and playfulness.
183
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,577
I'm picturing
a woodland wonderland,
184
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,946
where the centerpiece
is a giant tree
185
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,348
with a hollow center
that doubles as a reading nook,
186
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,884
and this floor-to-ceiling
moss wall
187
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,220
that has just little,
fake flowers... ♪ It's lit ♪
188
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,222
...that can be picked
and replanted.
189
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,357
Okay, little mama.
190
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,559
You just earned yourself
a job.
191
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,496
Aah! [ Laughs ]
♪ Run that beat back, let me show 'em what's up ♪
192
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,898
♪ Hey, hey,
it's a party over here ♪
193
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,700
♪ Hey, hey,
it's a party over here ♪
194
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,268
All: Milo!
♪ Hey, hey, it's a party over here ♪
195
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,270
-Hey, guys.
-Rules the school...
196
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,538
just like his old man.
197
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,839
Hey, welcome aboard.
198
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:22,842
Hello. Milo's dad,
reporting for duty.
199
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,910
[ Both laugh ]
200
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,912
Uh, what exactly
are my duties?
201
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:29,849
Oh, helping out with special
projects, overseeing hot lunch.
202
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,518
Oh, and putting together
203
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,321
our upcoming
100 Days of School party. Ooh!
204
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,857
You actually get to help
choose the theme. Hmm. Oh, okay.
205
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:38,992
Let's see.
206
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,360
Hollywood Nights!
207
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,463
Ooh.
How about "Black Panther"?
208
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,597
Neon Carnival?
209
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,533
"Black Panther."
"Great Gatsby."
210
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,869
Listen, Milo's dad,
it's gonna be "Black Panther."
211
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,271
Wakanda forever, okay?
212
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,972
Uh-huh.
Yeah? Okay.
213
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,941
♪♪
214
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,343
Milo: Give it to me.
215
00:07:56,343 --> 00:08:00,547
♪♪
216
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,148
What the hell?
217
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,683
♪♪
218
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,686
[ Whispering ] Hey, hey.
Buddy, what, uh --
219
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,588
what's going on over there
with the money
220
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,156
and the -- and the bow?
221
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,325
I-I don't know anything.
222
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,560
[ Normal voice ]
I'm the Room Dad.
223
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,661
You can talk to me.
224
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,929
I'm too scared.
225
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,030
Scared of what?
226
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:20,400
[ Whispering ] Milo.
227
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:26,039
♪♪
228
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,841
It's crazy!
229
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,710
Did you hear the rumor that she
dated both Property Brothers?
230
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:34,114
Everybody heard.
She made sure of that.
231
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,450
I don't think I've ever seen
this side before.
232
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,718
What side?
233
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,953
You're jealous.
234
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,554
Jealous?
235
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,224
[ Laughs loudly ]
236
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,327
Ooh, you even have
a weird jealous laugh.
237
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,329
I thought you'd be
happy for me.
238
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,198
I am happy for you.
I'm practically elated.
239
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,135
Ha!
[ Laughs mockingly ]
240
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,569
Okay, look,
241
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,305
it's just that I've seen
the way that she operates.
242
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,708
She'll chew you up, she'll
suck out all your content,
243
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,612
and she'll leave you on the side
of the road, gasping for air.
244
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,547
TTV is supportive.
245
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,816
Whereas you made fun
of my Yellow Pages.
246
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:14,687
I bought you followers, okay?
I accepted a check.
247
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,356
I didn't even know
I could do that.
248
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,526
TTV accepts me for who I am.
No.
249
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:22,796
She exploits you
for who you are.
250
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,865
For Tamryn, this is
just about her increasing
251
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,801
her female followers,
okay?
252
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,903
This is not about
your design skills.
253
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,773
You're wrong. She hired me
to design her playroom.
254
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:37,243
Our relationship
is based on mutual respect
255
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,113
and is strictly
100% professional.
256
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,448
♪ Whoo ♪
257
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,516
You guys, these paper straws
make us want to vom.
258
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,084
Vom!
Ugh!
259
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,886
♪ Okay, step back,
here comes the queen ♪ I can't even.
260
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,555
Oh, Lena. So pliable.
261
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,156
Do they care about
the environment?
262
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,893
[ Exhales sharply ] Well,
looks like you're my new BFF.
263
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,663
I knew you'd get there.
264
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,531
[ Birds chirping ]
265
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:01,935
♪♪
266
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,336
[ Sighs ]
267
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,737
What kind of racket
you running here?
268
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:08,942
Look who's back.
"Mr. Questions."
269
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,411
[ Huffs ]
Are you a bully?
270
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,680
A bully?
Quite the opposite.
271
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,282
Roger was just repaying
a few bucks I loaned him
272
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,750
on the bake sale day.
273
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,785
He's a good kid.
274
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,187
Hey, boss.
This guy bothering you?
275
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,190
Whoa. Didn't know the school
was K through...
276
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,326
30.
I'm a sixth grader.
277
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,328
It's cool, Owen.
This is my dad.
278
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,197
Copy that, boss.
279
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:35,235
♪♪
280
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,769
[ Dog barking in distance ]
281
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:40,773
Ah, can I just have
all the wine?
282
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,510
[ As Tamryn ] Can I have
all the wine, please?
283
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,379
[ Gags ]
You even sound like her.
284
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,381
Well, maybe that's why
I had a follow spike.
285
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,083
Baby's first follow spike.
286
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,752
16,000! Did you see?
287
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,255
I think it's 'cause
she tags me in everything.
288
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,591
Actually, 5,000 of those
followers are from me.
289
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,059
Thank you.
290
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:04,130
But actually, I don't think
we even needed to buy them.
291
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,199
I'm just --
I feel so blessed
292
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:10,503
to be working with an influencer
who is so influential.
293
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,238
Hmm.
[ Cellphone chimes ]
294
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,507
So how's that
playroom coming along?
295
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,708
Hmm?
[ Cellphone chimes ]
296
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,845
The job she actually
hired you to do?
297
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,013
Designing the playroom?
298
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,014
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Totally.
299
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,515
[ Gasps ] So crazy!
300
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,984
She boomeranged our Vom Straws,
and it went viral.
301
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,886
Look at how many views!
302
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,955
Mm. No, thanks.
303
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,623
Where are you going?
304
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,360
Well, you said
you wanted all the wine.
305
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,428
It's all yours!
306
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,030
I should story this.
307
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,899
♪♪
308
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,336
Wait.
309
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,908
[ School bell rings ]
Good morning, Ms. David.
310
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,843
Uh, I just wanted to grab
a quick word before class. There he is!
311
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:54,047
Hi.
Our Room Baba.
312
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,650
"Baba" means "father"
in Wakandan.
313
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,219
Cool.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
314
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:03,056
Um, so, I'm just a little bit
concerned about Milo. Okay.
315
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,458
Okay, it's starting
to look like he, um --
316
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,860
I'm j-- I'm just getting this
feeling that he might be...
317
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,663
[ Sighs ]
...I don't know, a bully.
318
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,332
[ Laughing ]
319
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,001
What? What?
That's absurd.
320
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:19,539
Milo is a gorgeous and wildly
popular golden-haired child
321
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,008
who's probably gonna out-earn
us all. [ Chuckles ] Okay, okay, stop.
322
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,277
He's got some goon
working for him.
323
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,678
Goon?
Yeah, Owen.
324
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,413
He's like a --
He's a sixth grader.
325
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,750
Have you been interacting
with sixth graders? No.
326
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,219
Because as
a third-grade Room Parent,
327
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,822
that's strictly
against school rules.
328
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,290
There. Did you see that?
What? What?
329
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,158
Look, look, look, look!
330
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,293
Hello, Ms. David.
331
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,928
Hey, superstar.
332
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,062
[ Chuckles ]
You missed it.
333
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,330
He -- He just did
the thing.
334
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,367
I think I know
what's going on here.
335
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:51,838
Your ex-wife, Lena,
she was Room Parent royalty.
336
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:54,073
The stuff
legends are made of.
337
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,341
Here comes Baba,
338
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,010
feeling all threatened.
No.
339
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,345
He starts
swinging his hose around,
340
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,847
looking for a fire
to put out...
341
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:06,319
Mnh-mnh.
...but there is...no..fire.
342
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,221
Do I make myself clear?
343
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,323
Yeah.
344
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,726
Ooh!
Really good news!
345
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,461
We did it.
What did we do?!
346
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,629
We broke through.
347
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,997
Our hashtag
"mommyfriendship"
348
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:21,200
delivered thousands
of unique impressions
349
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,002
in the coveted
47-55 demo
350
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,872
that I was
so sorely lacking in.
351
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,473
My sponsors
are so stoked.
352
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,741
That's amazing!
I know.
353
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,877
And they are going to love
354
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,445
that playroom centerpiece
I told you about.
355
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,747
I found someone
who can fabricate -- Cool, cool, cool.
356
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,749
So, can we put a pin
in this for one second
357
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:39,018
because I actually need
your design expertise
358
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,888
on a much more
pressing project.
359
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,857
Rabbit's
seven-month birthday.
360
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:48,895
You want me to plan
your pet's birthday party?
361
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,164
Oh, you're thinking of Pamela.
Rabbit's my daughter.
362
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,666
I don't know why
you get confused by that.
363
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,402
Yeah. I j--
But, you know,
364
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,804
I'm not really
a party planner.
365
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,273
Supes interesante.
366
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,541
I love that backstory.
367
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,276
So, uh, this, I promise,
368
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:07,080
will be the only non-playroom
favor that I ask of you.
369
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,148
I swear.
Okay.
370
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:12,418
Well, if I do it, will you
at least mention my company?
371
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,820
No can do, baby.
372
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,555
Technically, I can only mention
two companies
373
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,291
and those are MeUndies
and Westside Rentals.
374
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,360
So, I have purchased...
375
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,363
♪♪
376
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,032
...900 balloons.
377
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,969
And I need every last breath
in that adorable little body
378
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,105
to inflate them.
379
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,974
You're a legend.
380
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,443
Martin: I'm telling you, man,
the teacher is in on it!
381
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,711
The kids,
they're too scared
382
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,213
to even make eye contact
with Milo.
383
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,849
I've heard that's what it's like
working for Dr. Phil.
384
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,451
I take the reins for one minute
and this is what happens?
385
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,854
My 8-year-old
is shaking kids down?
386
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,590
You know what you have to do,
bro. Toss his room, man.
387
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,125
Full-blown
search and seizure.
388
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,594
[ Exhales deeply ]
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
389
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,995
Going through his stuff,
that's a violation.
390
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,131
It just means you
want to keep him safe.
391
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,133
Same reason why I go through
Camille's purse at night
392
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,934
while she's sleeping.
You do?
393
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,004
Yeah, I look at her receipts,
I pay her parking tickets.
394
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,606
I learned all kinds
of things about her,
395
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,609
things I would never know
otherwise.
396
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,977
She's a bad tipper, bro.
397
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,111
Dude, okay, okay.
No, he's -- he's --
398
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,813
he is on
a field trip right now,
399
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,149
so if we go in there,
no one's gonna even know that --
400
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,619
Going in.
401
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:25,625
♪♪
402
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,059
Aha!
What are you thinking?
403
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:30,496
Static Touch Plasma Sphere
with Mini Tesla Energy Coil.
404
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,332
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me try.
405
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:37,370
"To William,
love Gramma Bea."
406
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,005
♪♪
407
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:42,575
Josh Jr., you sneaky bastard,
you know something.
408
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,044
♪♪
409
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,313
You want me to slice
that turtle?
410
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,715
What the hell, dude?
Where did you get that?
411
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,451
Camille's purse.
I told you. It's treasure trove.
412
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,586
Cut him.
413
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,488
♪♪
414
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,256
[ Exhales sharply ]
415
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:58,858
[ Laughs ]
416
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,026
Oh!
417
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:03,362
What is this golden-haired
Svengali up to?
418
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,531
I don't know,
but I want in.
419
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,100
♪♪
420
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,073
[ Breathing heavily ]
421
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:17,410
[ Annie Lennox's
"I Put A Spell On You" plays ]
422
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:21,280
♪ I put a spell on you ♪
423
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,418
♪♪
424
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,287
♪ Because you're mine ♪
425
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:31,157
[ Breathing heavily ]
426
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,625
[ Ringing ]
427
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,827
Camille: Hey, it's Camille.
You should know I'm text-only.
428
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,128
Never do this again.
429
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:41,534
♪ You better stop
the things you do ♪
430
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,670
♪ Because ♪
431
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:49,542
♪ You're mine ♪
432
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,245
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
433
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,647
Uh, does your character
have blond hair?
434
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,048
No. No, he does not.
435
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,117
Milo. We need to talk.
Now.
436
00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,585
We don't talk
during "Guess Who?"
437
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,454
unless we're guessing who.
438
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,455
Up.
439
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,457
[ Sighs ] Fine.
440
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,225
Okay, the jig is up.
441
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,094
I found your stash
and your cash.
442
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,830
I cut William a deal,
and he's gonna sing like a bird.
443
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,432
This is your last chance
to come clean with me.
444
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,901
Oh, fine.
445
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,671
I run a very profitable
organization called "Club Milo."
446
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,606
I charge monthly dues,
but in exchange,
447
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:24,010
you get a place at my
lunch table and in my heart. [ Washing machine chimes ]
448
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,546
People want that?
What, they pay for your company?
449
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,149
Premium members get a T-shirt
with my face on it,
450
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,484
and I'll call you
on your birthday --
451
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,985
Milo.
[ Sighs ]
452
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:36,255
Friendship isn't commerce, pal.
You can't sell it.
453
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,858
You should try following the
example of your older siblings
454
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,993
who show you kindness
because they love you
455
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,728
and you're their brother.
You kidding?
456
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,730
That's why I came up
with Club Milo.
457
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,333
I pay them
to spend time with me.
458
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,601
What?
459
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,936
Mae! Mason!
460
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:53,239
I want you in Milo's
fluff and fold now!
461
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,607
-You shrieked?
-What's up?
462
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,742
Are you two selling yourselves
to your brother?
463
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,210
-Pretty much.
-Yeah, kinda.
464
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,312
What -- What is wrong
with you?
465
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,646
Have you no decency?
466
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,448
He pays,
and he pays well.
467
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,484
I-I don't know whether
to be proud or horrified.
468
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,753
[ Sighs ]
469
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,722
Okay. Okay. You two.
470
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:13,359
You guys, return all that money
you accepted from Milo.
471
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,327
And you.
472
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,062
You are gonna shut down
your club
473
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,664
and refund
all of the membership fees.
474
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,466
And furthermore,
the three of you
475
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,668
are gonna be punished
if you do not continue to have
476
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,403
a loving relationship
with each other.
477
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,205
For free.
478
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,474
♪♪
479
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:29,608
[ Indistinct conversations ]
480
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,611
♪♪
481
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,347
Oh, my God.
You're finally here.
482
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:38,351
So, I need a favor, baby.
The clown I hired canceled.
483
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,954
So you need me to find
someone else last minute?
484
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,090
No, I already found
someone last minute.
485
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,524
♪♪
486
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,461
Oh, and I will remember
to shout-out your business.
487
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,230
What is the name of it again?
Golden Cervix?
488
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:55,234
Here's the thing, Tamryn,
and, um,
489
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,969
I've really thought
a lot about this,
490
00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,840
and even with the shout-out,
I only want to be your designer.
491
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,342
I don't want to do
any of this other stuff.
492
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,478
I feel like you're really
selling yourself short.
493
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,080
You're so much more
than a designer.
494
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,782
What does that word
even mean?
495
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,184
You're like
a mother figure to Rabbit
496
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,820
and totally
on-brand friend.
497
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,957
I have my own friends,
and I have my own kids.
498
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,592
I just need a job.
499
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,793
This is the job.
500
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,262
Then I'm not interested.
501
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,197
Well, then,
I'm not interested.
502
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:29,201
You see that, though?
How much we have in common?
503
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:34,206
♪♪
504
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,875
Room Baba?
505
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,010
-Mm-hmm.
-This place looks great.
506
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,979
And you cooked dinner?
507
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,115
It's not even your week.
Stop it.
508
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,984
I told you it's my turn
to pick up the slack.
509
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,853
Well, speaking of slack,
510
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,456
I missed
the 100 Days of School party.
511
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,824
Oh, God. Who cares?
512
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,325
How many times
have I missed that thing?
513
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,427
79.
514
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,495
Oh, good.
So you were counting.
515
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,297
Mmm!
516
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:00,166
This is really good.
Yeah?
517
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,435
Here, here, here.
Try it with some bread.
518
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,836
Oh.
519
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,771
So I have a little update
on the Milo front. Mm.
520
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,440
His odd behavior
wasn't about the divorce
521
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,176
or the downsizing of his room,
so we're not bad parents.
522
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,911
No, he was just
acting weird
523
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,146
because he's running
an extortion scheme!
524
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:17,016
Oh.
525
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,151
Mm. Well,
we are bad parents,
526
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,886
just not the way
that we thought.
527
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,054
You know what?
Hmm?
528
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,757
I'll take it.
Oh, and I seized
529
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,158
hundreds of dollars
530
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:29,128
that's he's been laundering
inside Josh Jr.
531
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,330
Wait.
532
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,933
Did Milo make more money
than me this week? Mm-hmm.
533
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,802
But I thought we could
put it towards college. Hmm.
534
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,204
Or bail.
Mm.
535
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,772
Mm?
[ Tapping ]
536
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,807
Probably.
Bail. [ Chuckles ]
537
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,409
[ Insects chirping ]
538
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,477
[ Doorbell rings ]
539
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,579
♪♪
540
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,014
You wanna make skinny margs
and drinkstagram?
541
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,016
Not for a million
[bleep] dollars.
542
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:54,553
Well, what if I just said...
sorry?
543
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,224
I'm sorry, too.
544
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:01,360
I should have been more
supportive and less threatened.
545
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,096
No, Camille, you were right.
She was using me.
546
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,297
And after we parted ways,
547
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:08,434
all of her followers
unfollowed me.
548
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,203
Now I'm back down
to the 5,000 you bought me.
549
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:14,373
BFFs again?
550
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,575
I mean,
551
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,644
I've never banged
a Property Brother,
552
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,546
but...sure.
553
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:23,782
♪♪
554
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:27,052
-- Captions by VITAC --
555
00:21:27,102 --> 00:21:31,652
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