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1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:06,267
♪♪
2
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,312
This is me.
3
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:09,487
Thanks for the ride.
4
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,489
Let's see. Two stars.
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,883
You were a little chatty.[ Laughs ]
6
00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:16,755
Dude! Is that the girl
JJ's going on the date with?
7
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,714
I gotta kick the tires
on this broad.
8
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:21,456
No!
JJ has asked for his privacy.
9
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,761
He'll introduce you
when he's ready.
10
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,067
You're right.
11
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,851
And I respect that.
12
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:26,983
Hey, Izzy!
What's your deal?!
13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,071
Ah!
14
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,116
Private party, Dylan.
15
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,118
Mr. DiMeo's asked me
to see you home.
16
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,207
Weird man trying to
get me in his van!
17
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,470
Uh-huh. One sign that
you've cried wolf too much
18
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:37,559
is the fact that they're
holding the door for me.
19
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,648
[ Cellphone chiming ]Hmm. Someone just "liked"
a bunch of my photos.
20
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:42,868
Who is "Maya DiMeo
Secret Account"?
21
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,348
[ Chiming continues ][ Sighs ]
22
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,307
"Someone who
has no boundaries
23
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:49,136
and paws her phone
like a drunk gorilla."
24
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,876
[ Shower running ]
25
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,270
Aww, she's cute.
26
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,098
I think she's
live-streaming now.
27
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,318
I like her.
Do you think she'll like us?
28
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,450
Oh, please.
What's not to like?
29
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:03,150
♪♪
30
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,195
[ Beeps, tires screech ]
31
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:08,546
♪♪
32
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,548
You can't really get a sense
of her figure, can you?
33
00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,507
♪♪
34
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,117
Come on,
bathing suit picture, please.
35
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:17,033
♪♪
36
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,991
[ Banging ]
37
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,168
I am on the toilet!
38
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:23,213
Whatever happened
to privacy?!
39
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,345
[ Banging continues]
40
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:27,348
--Captions by VITAC--
41
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:31,700
♪♪
42
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,311
Hey! We were in the middle
of a commercial
43
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:35,486
[voice breaking]
of a girl and her dad.
44
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,271
Ray:
All hands on deck, people!
45
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,924
A few months ago I purchased
46
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,535
a Valentine's harbor cruise.
47
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,232
My girlfriend and I were going
48
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,364
to exchange "I love yous."
49
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:44,147
Your girlfriend?
50
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:48,064
Is she in the room
right now?
51
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,936
Can you see her?I know I don't have
a girlfriend.
52
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,808
All right, good. Yeah.[ Bowl thuds ]
53
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:55,376
I was betting I would by now,
and I lost.
54
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:56,551
The tickets are non-refundable,
55
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,292
so we have to find me a date!
56
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,598
W-Would you -- Would you
consider selling those tic--
57
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,035
No. No.
What did Mom say?
58
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,212
No expensive
Jimmy Valentine's Day.
59
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:09,303
I know you love making a grand
gesture every year, darling,
60
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,043
but this year
we've got the mortgage
61
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:13,263
and JJ's going to college,
I got my new business.
62
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,613
The most romantic thing that
you could do would be to --
63
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,528
Hire Boyz II Men to sing
personalized versions
64
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,661
of their hits for you
like last year.
65
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:21,315
Not going into debt.
66
00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:23,230
Oh, but the love boat
sounds so cool!
67
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,622
He didn't even
describe it!
68
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,277
All right.
We'll stick to the plan.
69
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,844
I'll go to work
where I won't be tempted.
70
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,629
Now, darling,
about your date.
71
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,328
You know Nathalie from my
special-needs moms group?
72
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:37,069
Yeah,
she has a daughter? No.
73
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,028
I mean Nathalie from my
special-needs moms group.
74
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,334
Oh.
75
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:43,206
Uh, we'll circle back
to that.
76
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,643
"We need to discuss
what happened.
77
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,255
Who knows what
they did wrong?"
78
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,909
Me. I cyber-stalked a teenager
when I was on the toilet,
79
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,476
and then I broadcast it.
80
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,435
And I was naked
in a room with, uh,
81
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,045
"Hulk smash" on her phone.
82
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,568
I know we all want
to meet this Izzy,
83
00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,875
but JJ has prepared
a statement.
84
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:03,270
"Dear Family, I know you're
curious about me dating someone.
85
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,881
Please give me my space."
86
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:07,317
This is the edited version.
87
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,363
JJ's draft, with swear words
88
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:12,888
and valid body-shaming of Jimmy,
was 10 pages long.
89
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,585
Let JJ have this.
90
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,500
Now go.
91
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,328
[ Cellphone chimes ]Oh.
92
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:19,416
Nathalie
politely declines.
93
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,635
Damn it!
94
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,117
"Do you have plans
Valentine's Day?"
95
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,294
[ Gasps ]
I get to meet Izzy.
96
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,252
You want my help
on your date?
97
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:32,255
Uh, I purposely did not make
plans hoping this would come.
98
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:35,476
[ Chuckles ]
Melanie's mad.
99
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,260
So, are we going
to the dance?
100
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,262
"Not special enough.
101
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,482
I've waited my life
for this.
102
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,398
It needs to be perfect."
103
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,530
Oh, and it shall be.
104
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,184
Can I rub it
in your mom's face?
105
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,187
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, Mayaaa...
106
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,362
[ Laughs ]
107
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,670
Hey, Ray. Did you find
a date for your cruise yet?
108
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,715
No. I asked Dr. Miller
to let me know
109
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,500
whenever a new girl enrolls,
110
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,285
but she said she couldn't do it
"in good conscience."
111
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:05,288
You know what, n-neither
of us have dates
112
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,508
and there's a great meal,
113
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,684
I love boats because
there's no laws at sea --
114
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,207
Concerning, go on.
115
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,905
Maybe you should
just take me. Really?
116
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:17,126
You want to have, like,
a sibling bonding date?
117
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:20,564
I feel like we're trapped in
this cycle where I bust on you,
118
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:23,175
and then you turn around
and get busted on by me.
119
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,525
Maybe it's time we break it?
120
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,657
Huh. I always figured
we'd bury the hatchet
121
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,399
but I thought it'd be
a deathbed situation.
122
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:32,576
I can't believe this is
happening without a catheter.
123
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,099
Let's do this.
124
00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:36,188
Hey -- this will be the first
date you won't have to worry
125
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,800
about your sister throwing
garbage at you or your girl.
126
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:42,020
♪ I can't stop this feeling
127
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:46,024
♪ Deep inside of me Huh?
128
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:49,158
♪ Girl, you just don't realize And...voilà.
129
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:52,770
♪ What you do to me
130
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,337
♪ When you hold me Better.
131
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:58,123
Yeah. [ Laughs ]
This is my own special blend.
132
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,473
Yeah.♪ You let me know
everything's all right ♪
133
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:00,691
Come on.
134
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:07,176
♪ I, I'm hooked on a feeling
135
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,046
[ Switch clicks ]Yeah.
136
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,178
[ Laughs ]
137
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,353
Nice, right?
138
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:11,485
[ Door closes ]You gave me the list.
139
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,487
I just bring your ideas to life.
140
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,706
"I asked for green pillows."
141
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:19,406
Well, I'm not gonna bring
an idea that sucks to life.
142
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,711
"It's perfect.
143
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,757
Thank you."
144
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,586
[ Doorbell rings ][ Gasps ]
And we're right on time.
145
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,414
May I?
146
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:30,417
[ Shouting ] Go around!
We're in the back!
147
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,942
[ Chair whirs ]
148
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,204
[ Exhales deeply ]
149
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,949
[ Door hinges creak ]
150
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,256
Good evening, Izzy.
I'm Kenneth.Nice to finally meet you.
151
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,997
I've heard
so much about you.
152
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,304
Nothing bad I hope.Some of it was bad.
153
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,046
That's fair.
154
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,526
Uh, well,
I'm going to see to it
155
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,397
that you have
a wonderful time.
156
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,747
We've thought
of everything.
157
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,620
You're staying?
It's gonna be the three of us?
158
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,012
Isn't that kind of weird?
159
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,320
Huh.
160
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,582
We didn't think of that.
161
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,804
Jimmy Valentine!
162
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,327
What are you doing here
on your big day?
163
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,676
Bought Maya an airplane.
164
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,895
Nope, just working.
165
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,679
Got to get that Valentine's
holiday pay.
166
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,115
[ Inhales sharply ]
Is that a thing?
167
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,422
Now that I've said it out loud,
it sounds stupid.
168
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,293
Well, you'll have to go
the long way.
169
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,643
Not...the concourse.
170
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:27,561
♪♪
171
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,259
[ Sighs ]
172
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:34,437
Oh, look away, Jimmy, look away.
173
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:38,223
Oh, Maya would love
that much cologne.
174
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,312
Hold it together, man.
No.
175
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,489
[ Sniffs, exhales sharply ]
176
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:43,881
Oh.
177
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,492
So much turquoise.
178
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,145
No!
179
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,538
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
180
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,367
Ah! Safe.
181
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,021
No buying, just working.
182
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:56,938
Next!Listen, my shipment
was delayed five hours,
183
00:06:56,981 --> 00:07:00,681
I got a boatload of roses
I was supposed to sell,
184
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,509
and it's too late --I love them --
I'll take them all!
185
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,902
You're a cool
big brother, Ray.
186
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,904
Thanks for bringing me.Happy to.
187
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,515
I actually found a girl
who was game to come.
188
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:12,127
But I'll be disappointing Kaci
another night.
189
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:15,304
Well, lucky for me, my date's
smart, kind, he loves his fam--
190
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:18,742
[ Horn blares ]
191
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:20,875
Oh, have we pushed off?
Great.
192
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,181
Ray, I'm just gonna
rip the Band-Aid off.
193
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,531
A guy I like
is on this boat
194
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:25,749
and he asked me
to meet him here,
195
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,577
so I tricked you
into bringing me.
196
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,274
You'll be spending
this cruise alone.
197
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,624
Godspeed.
198
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,191
What?
Wait, no.
199
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,497
[ Horn blares ]No.
200
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:37,152
Kaci! Kaci!
201
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,240
[ Horn blares ]
202
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,505
Maya:
Jimmy, I'm so proud of you.
203
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:43,898
I know how hard it is for you
204
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,290
not to spend money
on Valentine's Day.
205
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,423
Yeah, well...
it's what you asked for.
206
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,859
Just 'cause you're working
207
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,121
doesn't mean we can't
spend the evening together.
208
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,514
I'm actually on my way over
to you right now.
209
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,950
I'm bringing dinner.
210
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:56,606
Fantastic!
How far away are you exactly?
211
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,305
[ Telephone clatters ]
212
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:03,178
Would it help if I told you
that these are for my mistress?
213
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,878
Sorry if you weren't prepared
for my being here tonight,
214
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:11,795
but I assure you, there's
nothing weird about this at all.
215
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,886
Ah.
216
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,976
[ Sultry ] "You look lovely
in that dress."
217
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,544
[ Normal voice ] Yeah,
I don't think any of us
218
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,980
felt good about that.
Sidebar?
219
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,378
[ Quietly ] Dude, she's not
feeling this. I should go.
220
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,032
I'll be inside
if you need me.
221
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,947
"I need you here.
222
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,471
You're my hands...my voice."
223
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,168
Ah.
[ Inhales deeply ]
224
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,693
The "hands and voice" speech.
225
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:42,739
It got me to interrupt Elvira's
meal at The Cheesecake Factory,
226
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,741
and it gets me tonight.
227
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,569
Let's go.
228
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,223
Elvira still texts me,
you know.
229
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,617
You tricked me
230
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,227
under the guise of
brother-sister bonding.
231
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,969
Not "guys" -- guy.
232
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,058
His name's Connor.
I met him online.
233
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:59,843
He's a social media
celebrity.
234
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:03,151
This night went from getting an
"I love you" from my girlfriend
235
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:06,981
to taking my sister
to getting ditched by my sister.
236
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:10,288
You screwed me out of a date,
you're not gonna have a date.
237
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:13,683
It's stuff like this why Mom's
friends won't date you, Ray.
238
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,034
What did you do?
239
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,820
These must've cost
like $200.
240
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:20,864
[ Laughs, grumbles ]
241
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:23,040
Of course he did it!
242
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,608
He's Jimmy Valentine!I'm sorry.
243
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,828
But I don't think
it's a waste of money
244
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:30,047
to show you how much
you mean to me.
245
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,614
Does that make me
a Valentine sucker?
246
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,877
Yes.
The world is full
247
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,096
of Valentine suckers today
248
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:37,315
and I am proudly the biggest one
of them all.
249
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,839
You know what?
You're right.
250
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:41,493
The world isfull
of suckers today.
251
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:42,973
Let's profit off them.
252
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,758
Let's sell these roses
for twice what you paid for them
253
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,673
and make it rain cash!
254
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,413
Okay.
255
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:51,112
Okay,
Jimmy DiMeo aims to please.
256
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:54,506
But Jimmy Valentine
257
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,118
knows a special bouquet
when he sees one.
258
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,249
I'm saving these for you.
259
00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,555
Ah, ah!
260
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,730
I insist.
261
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:05,126
"Izzy, I thought that
we could talk about
262
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:07,868
what you and Kenneth
have in common."
263
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,478
Like what?Well, I'm a big
sports guy.
264
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,914
Do you like sports?I love sports.
265
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,873
What's your favorite sport?Team handball.
266
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,526
Okay.
Bit of a dead end.
267
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,790
Uh, let's take a turn
down food alley.
268
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,705
Um, uh, what's
your favorite food?
269
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:19,662
I like buffets.
270
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,316
Say you're at a buffet.
271
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,796
What do you grab first?A plate.
272
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,580
Music!Did you make the playlist
we're listening to?
273
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,581
I sure did.
274
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,365
We shouldn't talk
about music.
275
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,672
"Sidebar."
276
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,892
What am I supposed to do when
you guys take your sidebars?
277
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,502
A little handball maybe?
278
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,810
"Okay.
This isn't going well.
279
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,899
I'm going to have to
ask you to leave."
280
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,944
Oh, thank God.
281
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:45,035
"But I need you here so you'll
have to insist on staying."
282
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:47,081
Hmm.
283
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,213
All right,
let's suck that way.
284
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:54,175
"Kenneth, I'm going to have
to ask you to leave."
285
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,568
Unh-unh. No.
Don't wanna.
286
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,831
I think JJ's right.
287
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,963
Why would you want to stay
if he doesn't want you to?
288
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:03,924
Because this has been a really
fun...15 minutes?!
289
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:08,102
[ Laughs ]
Oh, yeah, I'll live-stream anything.
290
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,843
Birthday parties,
funerals...
291
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:10,844
Actually one of
my biggest videos
292
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,846
was "Cousin Baptism
Rat-Tastrophe."
293
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,151
I saw that one!
294
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,979
So many rats!
295
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,851
Hey, anything
for good content.
296
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:20,070
Speaking of...can you look
into this camera
297
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,158
and say "We're having
a great date"?
298
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,291
This is a date?
299
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,206
This date rocks!
300
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,990
Dylan, there you are, dear.
301
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,341
You're here with someone?Pfft, no. This is my brother.
302
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:31,865
Brother?
Would a brother do this?
303
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,388
Hold on,
you have a boyfriend?
304
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,825
No!
He is not my boyfriend.
305
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,175
Not your boyfriend?
Are you breaking up with me?
306
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,829
Cut it out!
307
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,918
I swear!
He's just my dumb brother.
308
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:43,746
Is that how
you see me now?
309
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,009
Look, I'm not gonna give up
on you without a fight.
310
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,794
I met your parents!
311
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:50,405
They're your parents,
too, Ray!
312
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,841
I'm gonna let you two
work this out.
313
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,977
I like this guy,
you gotta send me a link.
314
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,848
[ The Emotions'
"Best of My Love" plays ]
315
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,850
Welcome home,
business traveler.
316
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,200
Care to close one more deal
this afternoon?
317
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,245
♪ You've got
the best of my love ♪
318
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:06,464
It's -- It's clear
I don't mean me.
319
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:07,683
All right, maybe a hug.
320
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,902
♪ You've got
the best of my love ♪
321
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:11,426
[ Speaking French ]
322
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,558
[ French accent ]
Roses for sale.
323
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:14,951
Tonight, I'm going to make
sweet, sweet love
324
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:15,996
to my sweet, sweet lover.
325
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,606
[ Kissing noises ]
326
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,216
Get out le cash.
327
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,827
[ Normal voice ]
Give them the flowers.No, keep the accent.
328
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,003
Can we make money off
of every dumb thing I do?
329
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,396
Because that
is a dangerous lesson.
330
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,877
Oh, hey, girlfriend.
331
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,618
We were just about
to come serenade you.
332
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,141
No need, you won.
333
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,621
Connor's too weirded out.
334
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,928
Oh, nice. Scram.
335
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,930
And you never played
so I'm not paying you.
336
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,279
I underestimated you.
337
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:39,889
It's kind of cool,
actually.
338
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,804
See? Your brother's
not so bad after all.
339
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,501
Okay, fine.
340
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,808
Maybe we can hang out
a little bit.
341
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:46,940
Wanna do the photo booth?
342
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,942
Yeah, where is it?
343
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,508
Here it is.
344
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,075
Oh, wow.
345
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,948
Are these the props?
346
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:57,037
Dylan!There's no photo booth,
dummy.
347
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,995
Enjoy boat jail.
348
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:00,823
There is no such thing
as boat jail!
349
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,912
Wait,
is this a coat check?
350
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,522
You lock me in
so many coat checks.
351
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:07,003
Dylan, you cannot trap me
in here forever.
352
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:10,311
No matter what it takes,
I will escape!
353
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,882
For my love.
354
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,274
Oh, great.
Thanks, Jimmy.
355
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:18,406
That's the last bouquet.
356
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,711
Well, that's the last sucker --
357
00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:20,887
Customer.
358
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,326
Oh, that's the one
you were saving.
359
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,676
Yeah, it's okay.
It's fine.
360
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,025
This is what you wanted.
361
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:30,635
Stupid holiday anyway.
362
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:31,723
Yeah.
I'm gonna go back to work.
363
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,900
Okay. Bye.
364
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,032
Loads of money!
Yay.
365
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:39,427
Oi.
Happy?
366
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,081
You killed Jimmy Valentine.
367
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,126
And on the day
named after him.
368
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,345
No, I didn't.
369
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:46,216
[ Clicks tongue ]
No, you're conflating
370
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,436
spending money with love,
and that's --
371
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,090
Exactly what Jimmy does.
372
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,918
Everybody
has a love language.
373
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,529
Jimmy's is giving
expensive presents.
374
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:58,794
For him, giving to you
is the best gift he can get.
375
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,928
Oh, and I took
that away from him.
376
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:03,277
Look,
if you wanna talk more,
377
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,757
there's a Sbarro
in terminal four.
378
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,281
My treat.
379
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,499
Who are you?
380
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:12,677
So, a quick recap
of common ground --
381
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:16,246
we both are humans,
currently in this room.
382
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,944
We both saw a white bird
this week,
383
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,946
but not sure it's the same one.
384
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:23,340
We both know guys named Frank.
385
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:27,475
Yeah, I know.
Sidebar.
386
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,478
I'd planned so many high-fives
for this area.
387
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:33,046
"We're calling
too many sidebars."
388
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,048
W-- You called this sidebar!
389
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,137
Is this a sidebar about
too many sidebars?
390
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,356
Fine.
No more "sidebars."
391
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,359
If there's a problem,
point to the semicolon.
392
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:46,059
Whatever you type next is for
me, I won't say it out loud.
393
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:49,105
"What if I want to
use a semicolon?"
394
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:50,715
When do you use
a semicolon?
395
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,762
"To connect two
independent clauses."
396
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:58,027
I know what it's for --
semicolon -- you don't use it!
397
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,724
[ Door opens ]
398
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:02,162
JJ, I'm gonna go help out
at the dance.
399
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,773
What?I know you guys went to
a lot of trouble,
400
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,427
and I really appreciate it,
401
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,603
um, but this has all
been kind of weird.
402
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,736
Happy Valentine's Day.
403
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:17,177
♪♪
404
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,962
[ Cellphone chimes ]
405
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,399
Elvira wants to know if I'm up.
406
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:28,623
Say what you want about Maya's
adaptive clothing line.
407
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:31,582
It makes for a dramatic end
to a bad night.
408
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,541
You know, I get
so used to our thing,
409
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:37,197
it never even occurred to me
how weird it might be
410
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,243
to, say, a child whose
date I'm on.
411
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:44,987
"It occurred to me, but it took
me so long to get here.
412
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,468
Someone I like who likes me?
413
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:50,297
I was too afraid to do it
without you."
414
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:59,001
Buddy, I love figuring things
out with you.
415
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,656
But this new love stuff?
416
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:04,180
Some of that, you're gonna have
to figure out on your own.
417
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,618
Okay, then.
418
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,012
Tonight was a bust,
but next time...
419
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,842
"Not next time, semicolon.
420
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,279
Bring me to her, semi-colon.
421
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,847
Now. Semi--" [ Gasps ]
Yeah, okay.
422
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,893
[ Sarcastically ] You are right.
You use it all the time.
423
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:22,894
Please.
424
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,160
Finally got rid
of my brother.
425
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,683
Oh. Hey, Dylan.
426
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,032
Uh, this is Rachel.
427
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,947
Hi.
Great.
428
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,209
Now your sister's here?
429
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,037
Ooh, she's not my sister.
430
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,083
But these girls are,
right?
431
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,259
Nope.
Yo, what is up, Connor Crew?
432
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:42,218
Connor here,
making waves on the ocean.
433
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:44,307
I asked five hot ladies
out on a boat cruise
434
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:46,483
and oh, no, they all came!
435
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:49,051
It's a...quintuple date fail!
436
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,140
[ Laughter ]I'm just your content?
437
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,881
Uh, well, can you not
say "content"?
438
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,056
I don't like my fans seeing
behind the curtain.
439
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,189
Seems a little less organic.
440
00:16:56,232 --> 00:17:00,019
I locked my brother up
for you! [ Laughs ]
441
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:05,154
[ Sighs ]
Ray, you are a genius.
442
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,851
[ Horn blares ]
443
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:10,203
[ Door creaks,
indistinct conversations ]
444
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:13,293
[ Conversations stop ]
445
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:17,558
And, uh,
that is how you do that.
446
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,083
Maya: Paging Jimmy DiMeo!
447
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,651
Your misplaced Valentine
has been found
448
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,348
and is at baggage claim.
449
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,264
Ready to be showered
with any gift,
450
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:31,137
no matter how impractical
or over-priced.
451
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,877
I want to give you
your favorite gift,
452
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,792
the gift of extravagant giving.
453
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,232
Am I gonna regret this?You bet!
454
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:43,323
[ Indistinct conversations ]
455
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,542
[ Slow music plays ]
456
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,327
Oh, good.
You're here.
457
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,590
I saw that bird again.
458
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,766
JJ, hurry!
459
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,333
[ Chuckles ]
460
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:56,379
"Kenneth, I need you
to stay here."
461
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:57,989
[ Sighs ] Man.
462
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,209
"Because we're leaving."
463
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,473
I love a good mislead.
464
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:05,127
Me, too.
465
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,172
All right.
466
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,216
There's hope for us.
467
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,567
You used me.
For a dumb video.
468
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,700
If it helps, it's not like
you were special or anything.
469
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:14,789
I used all these girls.
And they're cool with it.
470
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:17,008
Let's go dance.Okay, you're not
going anywhere
471
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,793
until you delete
that video.
472
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,621
If you guys think I really
biffed it up this time,
473
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,492
smash that like button!
474
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:23,972
[ Laughs ][ Grunts ]
475
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,800
Ouch. Sorry.
476
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,063
But that's what you get for
messing with the Connor Crew.
477
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,372
And that's what you get
for pushing my sister.
478
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:33,634
Are you okay?
479
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,157
Connor here! Good news --
480
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,941
I just got punched
in the face!
481
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:37,768
[ Laughs ]
482
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,162
[ Water splashes ]
483
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,338
Okay, we got to go before
we get in trouble.
484
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:51,217
Huh.
Boat jail is real.
485
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,436
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]How stupidly expensive is this?
486
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,786
Extremely stupidly!
487
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,875
Thank you,
Jimmy Valentine!
488
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,616
Look, money comes
and money goes,
489
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,358
but what we have is forever.
490
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,012
Thank you for letting me
celebrate it
491
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,187
in my ridiculous way.
492
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,320
And, hey, we will figure out
how to pay the mortgage.
493
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,758
Eh, we'll worry about that
last week when it was due!
494
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:17,243
♪♪
495
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,333
"Tonight must have been
the weirdest date
496
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:22,117
you've ever been on."
497
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,032
Technically,
it's the only one.
498
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:29,124
"Wait, am I the more
experienced one here?"
499
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,473
Yes.
500
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,693
Any pointers?
501
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:36,436
"Well, most dates have
a random guy there.
502
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,439
And there are usually
more sidebars."
503
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:40,266
[ Chuckles ]
504
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,141
"I made Kenneth stay.
505
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,144
I was nervous about
being alone with you."
506
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,278
I was, too.
507
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,934
Well, if neither of us
knows what we're doing,
508
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:59,459
maybe we can make it up.
509
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:02,331
Maybe part of it
can be getting alone?
510
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,467
"Check."
511
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,643
Hmm, it's a great start.
512
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,514
This is finally not weird.
513
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:18,304
♪♪
514
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,044
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
515
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,698
Maya: JJ!
516
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:25,746
How...is the date...going?!
517
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:30,359
"Kenneth won't be
our biggest problem."
518
00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,320
Hi, Mrs. DiMeo!
519
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,541
I'm sorry about your hand.
520
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,326
But thanks
for sticking up for me.
521
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,196
[ Exhales sharply ]
You're my sister.
522
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,502
That's my job.
523
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:45,896
Yeah, but...[sighs]...
524
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,289
I make it hard.
525
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,900
It's easy to defend
the sweet little sister.
526
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,076
But I tricked you
out of a date,
527
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,427
abandoned you,
locked you in a closet --
528
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,777
I got out.
[ Chuckles ]
529
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,474
And you still defended me.
530
00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:03,349
You know, sometimes I think
you got the wrong sister.
531
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:06,221
But I got
the right brother.
532
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,920
Dylan, when I purchased
these tickets,
533
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:13,228
I pictured myself hearing
a certain affectionate
534
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,403
three-word phrase --
535
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:15,883
I was building to it, Ray.
536
00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:17,580
You blew it.
537
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,147
Now we sit here.
538
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,455
I love you, Dylan.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
539
00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:46,522
I'm sorry about your hand.
540
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,394
But thanks
for sticking up for me.
541
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:49,264
[ Exhales sharply ]
You're my sister.
542
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,570
That's my job.
543
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:54,008
Yeah, but...[sighs]...
544
00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:55,401
I make it hard.
545
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:58,012
It's easy to defend
the sweet little sister.
546
00:21:58,055 --> 00:22:00,188
But I tricked you
out of a date,
547
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:02,364
abandoned you,
locked you in a closet --
548
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:05,019
I got out.
[ Chuckles ]
549
00:22:05,062 --> 00:22:06,673
And you still defended me.
550
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:11,417
You know, sometimes I think
you got the wrong sister.
551
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:14,289
But I got
the right brother.
552
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:17,988
Dylan, when I purchased
these tickets,
553
00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:21,296
I pictured myself hearing
a certain affectionate
554
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,471
three-word phrase --
555
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:23,951
I was building to it, Ray.
556
00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:25,648
You blew it.
557
00:22:25,692 --> 00:22:27,215
Now we sit here.
558
00:22:28,869 --> 00:22:30,523
I love you, Dylan.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
559
00:22:30,573 --> 00:22:35,123
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