All language subtitles for Speechless s03e11 H-- HEY, YOU.eng

Good session, JJ.
Sorry I kept spilling on you,

but I am worthless
before my soup.

[ Door opens ]Kenneth: [ Chuckles ]

Hi, DiMeos.

[ Tenderly ]
Hey, you.

♪♪

See you all
next week.

[ Door opens ]

Maya: Kenneth.

We all had a family meeting
with our eyes a second ago,

and we're all in agreement
that has to stop.

What does?Saying "hey, you" like that

to anyone
you've briefly dated.

As a rule,
we'd like to keep

the hyper-sexualized greetings
to a minimum.

If I have to follow the rule,
you should, too.

Okay.
I said it one time.

♪♪

[ Tenderly ]
Hey, you.

Hey, you.

Hey, you.

I have a life.

I have needs.
Call me romantic.

Nobody's calling you
romantic.No one's calling you romantic.

But when I've been
with someone,

it means something to me.

[ Tenderly ]
"Hey, you"...

[ Gags ][ Normal voice ]
...is my tip of the cap

to a beautiful
experience.

[ Doorbell rings ]

[ Tenderly ]
Hey, you.

♪♪

What? You're the only one
with a history?

--Captions by VITAC--

♪♪

Romance!

Your next film
is going to be a romance

from the 12th century tale
of "Tristan and Isol--"

[ Sobs ] Forget it.

I got dumped,
and I need to feel good again.

Sue me. What?

"How strictly are you
defining romance?"

You may not make a movie
about the romance

between a killer
and their weapon.

[ Sighs ]

Your film must make me
believe in love again.

Anything less
will get an "F."

You have one hour.[ Gasping, murmuring ]

Listen to me,
I sound just like Jamie.

[ Voice breaking ]
Take your time.

[ Normal voice ]
Take your time.

Maya: Hello,
prospective investors.

We are two mums of
kids with disabilities,

and we are starting a business
for people like us.

Here's
a fascinating statistic

about the adaptive-clothing
industry.

Blah, blah, blah.

Shocking, right?

I had no idea.

But what I do know is,

insert completely improvised
yet heartfelt anecdote

about parenting.

But why tell you about
our amazing products

when we can
just show you?

[ Clothes rip ]

Whoa!
I did not see that coming.

And I loved it!

[ Both scream, laugh ]

It worked. It worked.Amazing, right?

And I remembered to wear
clothes underneath this time.

Okay, let's talk
about market strategies, competition analysis,

and a design
and development plan.

Oh, Melanie,
you are a godsend.No, you're the godsend.

I mean, when John left,
I thought my life was over.

And now I have a friend,
a dream,

and no fewer than six
tear-away business suits.

Not a great use
of our capital. Hmm.

Oh, shoot. I got to go get Logan
from school.

Kenneth can
go and get him.

Can he?

I-Is Kenneth something

you can lend your friends

like a "Mad Men" DVD set?

Did you specifically
use that as an example

because you've borrowed
our "Mad Men" DVD set

and have as yet
to give it back?

I'll go get Logan.

A romance?

Where do we even start?

"We could draw on
our own romantic pasts."

[ Both laugh ]

Yeah.
[ Sighs ]

You know, if you're
looking for romance,

you should've seen me
in the planetarium earlier.

This girl, Izzy,
came in,

and we had
insane chemistry.

And how does this help us
with our movie?

You need to cast Izzy and me
as the leads.

We'll fall in love,

and you'll get
the best on-screen romance

since a certain Harry
met the Hendersons.

Sound like a plan?

Sure.[ Slaps table ]

I'm excited, too, guys.

[ Rock chord plays ]

Whoa!

All those years,

we have not lost
the sound.Or the look.

-[ Chuckles ]
-Wore these in '92.

I had them altered.

-Yeah.
-[ Snorts ]

Hey. We got the sound
and the look.

I think we should gig.

Come on.
We're grown-ups now.

It'd be pathetic.
This -- This is just for us.

Yeah, you're right.

That was a cheap escape

we needed
when we were young

because we had
nothing else.

We were broke,
lived in crappy houses.

We hated our jobs.

Yeah, remember those days?

-Anyhoo, "Satisfaction."
-Yes.

[ Drumsticks clacking ]

♪ I can't get no

♪ Satisfaction

♪ 'Cause I try

♪ And I try

♪ And I try

♪ And I try Dylan: Whoa.

[ Music stops ]You guys are amazing.

Really?

Yeah, I guess
we kind of are.

Don't. Jimmy doesn't
need adoration.

No, no, no, no, no.
Let her finish.

What was that song?

Uh, it's called
"Satisfaction."

And you wrote it?

♪♪

Yes. Yes, I did.

Jimmy, come on.

Wewrote it.We wrote it.

You want this one?
Yeah.

Oh. You must be Izzy.

You're game
to be in the movie?

Actually, I have no interest
in leaving my comfort zone,

and I would not like
to be in the movie.

That was acting.

[ Door opens ]

Hey, now!

Oh, is that Penn and Teller
over there?

'Cause it looks like we're
about to make some magic.

Oh, yeah, and, uh,
one of us doesn't talk.

[ Laughs ][ Chuckles ]

Can I, uh, talk to you
over here for a sec?

[ Quietly ] Don't you ever
one-up me again,

especially
in front of Izzy.

Sorry?

No, I-I'm sorry.

Same team.

Thank you so much
for casting me and Izzy.

Yeah.

[ Louder ]
Shall we begin?

Yes. Uh...

"Izzy, you obviously
know Ray."

Who's Ray?

I'm Ray.

From the planetarium?

You accidentally
sat on my lap.

It was charming
and hilarious.

Oh, that was a boy?

Your scream sounds
like a girl's.

Play your cards right,

you'll hear that
girlish scream again.

Why would I
want that?

Hmm, this is so us.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]Hey.

Well, there you are!

And there you are!

Did you send in
the contracts? No.

What about
the projections?Whoopsie.

Melanie,
what's wrong?

Where's the focus
and drive...[ Door opens ]

...that's gonna make me
a thousand-aire?

Ah, hi, Maya.Oh, hi.

[ Tenderly ]
Hey, you.

♪♪

Would you excuse me?

[ Screams ]

[ Clothes rip ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Sighs ]
Joyce, now Melanie.

Am I the only woman
who has entered this house

that you haven't defiled?

Jealousy is not
a good color on you.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!

You'll ruin her.

Or she gets better.
That Statue of Liberty?

No-good drunk when I found her.
That's a true story.

Relax, Maya.

You're so worried about
your little business.

I can promise you nothing's
going to get in the way.

Listen, I got
to pick up Taylor.

Ooh. Mango juice?

So thirsty.

Mm.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

Mmm.

What a bizarre manifestation
of sexuality.

Aaron: All right.
Let's see your chemistry.

This is the scene where
you two fall in love.

He's talking about
the characters, of course.

Aaron, do you know
how that sounded?

[ Chuckles ]

"This was a mistake.

Action."

The only trophy
that matters to me

is the magazine writer
standing in front of me.

Kiss me.

I really
don't want to.

Uh, the line's, uh,
"What took you so long?"

Yeah, but the book I read
said I can't act something

that doesn't feel true.

"Was that book
'How to Get Fired'?"

Okay, uh...
We have options.

Let's find a version of Ray
that you have chemistry with.

Makeover montage!

Is that a version?

'Cause I don't like it.

[ Rock chord plays ]

You guys, I can't get
your song out of my head.

That's nice to hear.

If you like that,
maybe you'd like

one of
our original songs --

anotherone of
our original songs.

Shall we play
our protest song, boys?

"Draft Dodger"!

1, 2, 3, 4!

♪ Uncle Sam

♪ Don't ship me off
to fight in ♪

And here we would
name some countries

where there might be
a war going on,

But really, it was an era
of unprecedented peace --

Stop, stop. That song makes
me want to become emancipated.

But "Satisfaction's"
a winner.

You guys
should do shows.

All right.

"Satisfaction."
Here we go.

[ Snootily ] I am
the world's first trillionaire.

But as
my butler said...

No.

[ Normal voice ] It's like
the Sarge said.

Who cares if you're
the world's best sniper if --

It's like
the Wolfman said --

Who cares if you're
the best vampire in the world

if you don't have love?

Kiss me.

Cut. "Sorry.
What is the problem?"

I think
the problem's the script.

♪♪

He says,
"Great feedback.

Come over for
a re-write tonight.

Can't wait."

♪♪

Okay. I've got
a lot of stuff to go over.

Let's get down
to business.

Music to my ears.I've run the numbers.

Kenneth has over
600 Facebook friends.

550 of those are women.

Now, okay, see, here's
where it gets interesting.

Of the 14 Tiffanys,

6 of them work
at the same Dry Bar,

4 of them
have real '80s hair.

Could we just
get down to work?[ Door opens ]

It's just --Yeah.

[ Tenderly ]
Hey, you. [ Chuckles ]You...

[ Normal voice ]
Big business meeting, huh?

Uh, what time do you
figure you'll break?

Probably around dinner.

See, it was
just that, um,

I had a little
picnic plan brewing.

-Aww.
-You know what?

Just take the rest
of the day off.

You seem
a bit distracted.You don't mind?

Go on.
Yeah, have fun.Thank you, partner.

[ Chuckles ]Okay.

[ Door closes ]Maya, thanks
for being cool.

Are we good?
You know what? It's fine.

I mean, her ex has
the kids this weekend,

so we'll just
work then.

Ooh, about that.

I was cooking up
a surprise getaway.

Well, I support that.
Yeah?

Yeah. Just don't take
Melanie.

[ Papers rustle ]I'm sorry. You can't.

[ Papers hit table ]I can't?

You said this wasn't
gonna get in the way,

and it is in the way.

You cannot have her.

Oh, well, we will
just see about that.

Yeah, we will.
Okay, then.

I guess I'll just borrow
a picnic basket and go.

Get out!
[ Growls ]

Are you sure we're allowed
to practice here?

The janitors
owed me a favor.

Following up
on that later.

A band with such
a fresh, new sound

deserves a respectable
practice space.

Look, Dylan.

The truth is...

[ Indistinct conversations ]Oh, no.

Where did all these kids
come from?

[ Sighs ] Dylan, seriously,
we're grown men.

We're not playing
for a bunch of --

[ Rock chord plays ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

I was so sure
I wasn't going to do it.

That rocked!

[ Cheers and applause
continues ]

We're gonna do another one now
called "Draft Dodger"...

Screw it! This one's
called "Born to Run."

1, 2, 3, 4!

[ Cheers and applause ]"Layla."

"Baba O'Riley."

We call this one
"Side Two of Abbey Road."

[ Cheers and applause ]Thank you so much.

We're gonna take a short break.
We'll be right back.

Oh, Daddy, you're here.
Dylan's dad?

This is my dad,
Todd.

He's a record company
executive.

I told him that
he should sign you.

Their songs are,
like, instant classics.

How does that
first one go?

Um...

I-I can't get no...

satisfaction.

I can't get no satisfaction,
so forth.

And they're
great performers, too.

Uh, do that dance you do
during the song.

♪♪

Something like that.

What do you
think, Dad?

♪♪

I think
they're fantastic.

And if I hadn't just
signed a similar act,

we'd be begging
to work with you.

[ Groans ]

T-Thank you.
That is really very generous.

Uh, before I go,

uh, I was wondering if any of
you want to play a song I wrote

called "Smells Like
Teen Spirit."

Sure.
Check out what Daddy wrote, Addie.

Izzy's parking.

Let's fix this movie.

Come on, man.

Just write a script
that makes me look awesome

and makes her
fall in love with me.

You can do it.
You're a creative genius.

[ Knocks on door ]

-Hello.
-Izzy!

All right. Time to salvage
this terrible script.

♪♪

How lucky you found
a women in business conference

this weekend.
I know. What are the chances?

I should tell you that,
at times,

it will feel like a dog show.Hmm.

Melanie: It's too bad.

Kenneth was disappointed when
I told him I was leaving town.

Oh, he knows our business
comes first.

And you know,
regarding Kenneth,

there are a few things
that you should know.

[ Door opens ]
He --

Is right here.

[ Spits ]

Hey, you.

[ Cheers and applause ]It feels like
we're playing Wembley!

Soak it up, guys,
because tonight,

for these kids, we are
the greatest band in the world.

I want
to sing one.

I'm tired of backing
you guys up.

But you can't sing.And you can't
play guitar,

but it doesn't
stop you.

Easy, guys. Let's --
Let's just play.

This is all
so small-minded.

I'm out of here.
Come on, babe.

Who is she?!

Forget it.
Uh, "Free Fallin'."

Ah, let's do
something fresher.

"Wonderwall."Uh, new guy,

that's not
really our sound.

Well, "Free Fallin'"
isn't your sound either.

You stole it
from John Mellencamp.

[ All gasp ]

No, no, don't look that up.
No, put your phones away.

It's Tom Petty.

Also, yeah, dude,
it's Tom Petty.

You're a music exec?

JJ, we are banging our heads
against a wall here, man.

Izzy, you hungry?

What do you say to some of
my famous braciole?

No.
I love our banter.

JJ, you should use this
in the script.

"I'm going to get
some fresh air.

You enjoy."

I'm too tired
to stand.

"Wow, sounds tough."

Right.
That was terrible. Um...

I shouldn't talk at all.

Oh, God,
I made it worse.

Uh, "Come on.
I have an idea."

[ Wheels rattling ]Izzy: Okay.

"Maybe a car hits her,
and he saves her."

No.
Why is this so hard?

You seem to understand human
behavior in your other movies.

[ Rattling stops ]

"You saw my movies?"

Yeah.

They're great.

"I'm suddenly very open
to your input."

[ Chuckles ] Well,
I don't know what to do.

I'm no good at connecting
with people.

I once had a lizard
I got close to.

"Was he a football star
or a war hero?"

No.

Oh, you're being
charming.

Write him like that.

He should be real,
not perfect,

someone who has a hard time
putting themselves out there

but does it anyway.

And he doesn't have
to save her life, you know.

In these movies, it's more
about, like, a touch,

and they feel
a connection.

♪♪

You write scary well.

Pretend like
you're scared.

♪♪

[ Gasps ]
How sweet.

-[ Chuckles ]
-Did you guys plan this?

[ Laughs ]

Uh, pretty much.

Such a fun surprise.

Ooh, let me go
freshen up.

[ Chuckles ]

How dare you come here
and ruin our weekend.

You only brought her here
to ruin myweekend.

You just don't want me
to be happy.

This is about
our business,

and it cannot survive
with you interfering.

She's gonna
have to choose. Yeah.

Yeah, either a lifetime
of ripping off pants

or your dumb
adaptive-clothing line.

♪♪

Oh, you had to Tiffany
yourself up, didn't you?

Melanie,
we need to talk,

all of us.

Are you two
breaking up with me?

[ Chuckles ]
Don't be ridiculous.Oh, absolutely not.

But we do need you
to break up with one of us.

[ Laughs ]

-Yeah.
-Wait, what?

Melanie, we both
care about you so much,

but sharing you
just isn't working out.

So we need you
to pick one of us.

-Me.
-Oh, please.

Let the woman whose life
was in shambles before she met me think.

Wow. Look, I'm just getting
to know both of you.

And now you want me
to pick one or the other?

♪♪

I'm sorry.
I choose neither.

No, see, no,
you have to choose one.

Sweetheart,

I know you're mad.
It's just...

Life's hard, and it felt good
to get some glory,

just for
one brief moment.

I'm sorry.
Can you forgive me?

Do you have anything
to say for yourself?

[ Sighs ] Well, I think
what happened is,

you thought we wrote
"Satisfaction,"

so I lied
and said I did.

And that felt great.

And then a bunch
of your friends

thought we wrote
"Satisfaction."

Then we got caught,

and then
I bought chocolate milk,

and now we're here,
yeah.

-So no takeaway?
-[ Slurping ]

Not really, no.

No, I think
I'm just an idiot.

Well, I guess you could say
that we lived dangerously,

we paid the price,

and we -- we survived
to tell the tale.

And that is what
rock 'n' roll is all about.

Now, see, that feels
like a takeaway.

I learned nothing,
and I would do it again.

In fact, do you have any friends
who weren't here tonight

but also don't know
a lot about music?

The track team?The track team.

Right in front of me
all this time.

Come on.

Why can't you be
more like her?

And she chose neither of us.
It's over.

You didn't even
fight for her?

[ Scoffs ] As the lead
in a romantic comedy,

I know you cannot
take no for an answer.

"Actually, Izzy pointed out
that trope

has a really toxic
message."

"Don't take no
for an answer."

I like it.

Yeah. Impress her.

Win a karate tournament.

Become a billionaire

and save the dumb dock
where her dad works.

What was I thinking?

Melanie and I
are meant to be together.

I'm gonna stop talking
to my diverse sidekicks

and go
and get the girl.

Where are you going?

To get more
mango juice.

Good luck getting
Melanie back, Mom!

You're blocking me in!

Then I guess
I'll get there first!

[ Car door opens, closes ]

Maya, get out.

I'm winning her back,

and I'm not taking no
for an answer.

Do you have any idea
how toxic that trope is?

[ Engine starts ]

We need to talk.Shh! It's the library.

I've been quiet
long enough.

I didn't
go looking for this,

but I felt something
last night.

Don't listen to him.
He's just going to hurt you.

Shh!

I have to work so hard

to be understood,

but you just saw me.

It was scary.
Izzy: Oh.

Should I
leave you alone?

That scares me
even more.

Wow.
That was really good.

Um, should I
kiss him?

[ Voice breaking ] Where did you
find this girl? Yes!

Kenneth, I understand
why you're upset.

I mean,
I know you like Melanie.

But you have
to understand --

with JJ going away
to college next year --

Maya, this isn't
about you.

Are you sure?
Feels like it is.

You know why you've never
seen me in a relationship?

Because ever since
I met you,

my whole life has been
about you and your family.

But who cares.

In Maya-land, nothing exists
outside of the DiMeos.

Well, I get
to have something, too.

Oh, Kenneth, I can really
see how you feel.

[ Gear shift clicks ]

Maya!

Come on!
I gave you a ride, lady!

Let me have this!

[ Lock clicks ]

What are you
doing here? Melanie,

you are
an amazing woman,

and you deserve to have
an equally amazing partner.

Now, maybe we can
work this out

where you don't have to choose
between me or Kenneth.

But if you have
to choose...

Can you hear my voice
at this level?

Choose Kenneth.

Really?
But you're still mad at him.

Well, I mean,
things got weird.

But, you know,

I like how he dresses like
it's summer all year round.

And I love
how he sings

what he needs to tell you
when he could...

♪ Just bloody say it

♪♪

But, I mean, what I like best
about him is that he's kind

and he's fantastic
with my son

and he has a very,
very big heart.

And he really likes you,
Melanie.

Well, shouldn't he
be telling me all this?

I'm the one
sacrificing you,

so I didn't want him
coming in here

and messing it all up.

Plus,
I wanted the big moment.

[ Sighs ]Please forgive him,

and I promise
I won't interfere anymore.

♪♪

[ Sweetly ]
Hey, you.

Oh, God, you heard.

♪ You're so special
to me ♪

[ Clears throat ]

[ Normal voice ]
Oh. Oh, right.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

Ew.

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