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1
00:00:14,178 --> 00:00:15,547
Can I have a stick of gum?
Yeah, you wanna stick?
2
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:16,781
Yeah, I'll have a stick,
if you got a stick.
3
00:00:16,815 --> 00:00:18,517
Stick of gum.
I'll maybe take a second stick.
4
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:20,251
More than one stick?
Was drinkin' from the hose.
5
00:00:20,284 --> 00:00:21,485
It's a wee bit rusty
down the line.
6
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,087
That sounds like
a two?stick fire to me.
7
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,262
Dary?
Yeah?
8
00:00:31,295 --> 00:00:32,764
Say "about."
9
00:00:33,464 --> 00:00:34,699
About.
Okay.
10
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,503
You gots a sticks of gum?
Yeah, you wanna stick?
11
00:00:38,537 --> 00:00:40,238
If you gots a sticks,
I'd takes a stick.
12
00:00:40,271 --> 00:00:41,840
Stick of gum.
You got more than one stick?
13
00:00:41,873 --> 00:00:43,407
Yeah, you want more than
one stick of gum?
14
00:00:43,441 --> 00:00:45,343
I drank some OJ's
after brushin' my teeth.
15
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:46,377
So, I'm breathin' fires.
16
00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:48,179
Yup, sounds like you need
more than one stick.
17
00:00:52,183 --> 00:00:55,520
Dan? Say "about."
18
00:00:56,387 --> 00:00:57,455
Abouts.
'Kay.
19
00:01:00,224 --> 00:01:01,259
Hey, you want a stick of gum?
20
00:01:01,292 --> 00:01:02,426
I know you've got
a stick of gum.
21
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:03,762
Yeah, I got a stick.
Give me a stick.
22
00:01:03,795 --> 00:01:04,829
Stick of gum.
23
00:01:04,863 --> 00:01:06,364
I'll take another one
for later too.
24
00:01:06,397 --> 00:01:07,498
More than
one stick of gum?
25
00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:09,868
Yeah, I had some Gus & Bru
in my coffee this morning.
26
00:01:09,901 --> 00:01:11,636
Yeah? You'll need more
than one stick.
27
00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:17,876
Katy?
Yeah?
28
00:01:17,909 --> 00:01:19,110
Say...
29
00:01:20,444 --> 00:01:21,846
"About."
30
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,281
About.
'Kay.
31
00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:26,518
Why do you keep asking us
to say that, good buddy?
32
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:27,552
Well...
33
00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:31,355
A GI Jehovah come up
the laneway the other day.
34
00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:32,657
And he said it like,
35
00:01:33,291 --> 00:01:34,392
"a?boat."
36
00:01:34,425 --> 00:01:35,426
"A?boat?"
37
00:01:35,459 --> 00:01:37,228
Yes, like if you're out
on the water, you're in...
38
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:38,797
A boat.
39
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:41,165
I ain't never heard no one
says it like, "a?boats."
40
00:01:41,199 --> 00:01:42,767
That's a weird way
to say, "about."
41
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:43,868
Well, to be fair...
42
00:01:43,902 --> 00:01:45,403
To be fair
To be fair
43
00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:47,772
To be fair
To be fair
44
00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:52,577
To be fair, Yanks think we got
a weird way of saying "about."
45
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:53,845
Yeah, what's that's
all abouts?
46
00:01:53,878 --> 00:01:56,681
Well, they say it
like, "abowt."
47
00:01:56,715 --> 00:01:58,149
"Abowt?"
48
00:01:58,182 --> 00:02:00,318
Yeah, and they make fun
of us for saying, "about."
49
00:02:00,351 --> 00:02:01,620
No, I'm pretty sure
50
00:02:01,653 --> 00:02:03,555
Yanks make fun of us
for sayin' "a?boot."
51
00:02:03,588 --> 00:02:04,756
Who says "a?boot?"
52
00:02:04,789 --> 00:02:05,857
Ask a fuckin' Yank.
53
00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:07,626
A boot.
54
00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:08,793
Abowt.
55
00:02:08,827 --> 00:02:10,795
A?boot. And now...
56
00:02:10,829 --> 00:02:11,863
A?boat.
57
00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:13,632
Well, what did
the GI have to say?
58
00:02:13,665 --> 00:02:14,533
Well...
59
00:02:14,566 --> 00:02:17,468
It's about heart,
it's about passion,
60
00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:18,436
it's about discipline.
61
00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:21,472
It's about not having
Christmas, isn't it?
62
00:02:21,506 --> 00:02:23,708
It's about so much more
than you think it's about.
63
00:02:23,742 --> 00:02:24,876
So what did you do?
64
00:02:24,909 --> 00:02:26,678
Waste his time
a wee bit,
65
00:02:27,579 --> 00:02:28,880
as you do.
66
00:02:28,913 --> 00:02:31,816
Well, then why don't you
tell me what it's about?
67
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,451
It's about Jesus,
68
00:02:33,484 --> 00:02:35,219
being God's
only direct creation.
69
00:02:35,253 --> 00:02:37,689
It's about
not drinkin', isn't it?
70
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,658
It's about not watching
"R" rated movies, as well.
71
00:02:39,691 --> 00:02:41,593
Well, it's for sure
about not dancing.
72
00:02:41,626 --> 00:02:42,961
Pretty sure someone
73
00:02:42,994 --> 00:02:44,228
told me one time
that's what it's about.
74
00:02:44,262 --> 00:02:45,664
For sure. It's about
75
00:02:45,697 --> 00:02:47,666
not listening to music
containing immoral lyrics.
76
00:02:47,699 --> 00:02:48,800
What's your
fuckin' name?
77
00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:50,401
Bob.
Bob, tell me,
78
00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:53,371
what's good about it?
79
00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:54,539
Yeah, but what did he
have to say?
80
00:02:54,573 --> 00:02:56,575
You wanna know what? Phone rang
and went inside to get it,
81
00:02:56,608 --> 00:02:58,943
kinda forgot he was out there,
so must have skedaddled.
82
00:02:58,977 --> 00:03:00,812
No!
83
00:03:00,845 --> 00:03:02,013
And I'd be more
than happy to continue
84
00:03:02,046 --> 00:03:04,448
telling you what being a
Jehovah's Witness is all about.
85
00:03:04,482 --> 00:03:06,317
How about I leave you
behind some literature?
86
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:07,619
What's your
fuckin' name again?
87
00:03:07,652 --> 00:03:08,687
Bob.
88
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:09,988
Get the fuck
outta here, Bob.
89
00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:11,222
Okay.
90
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:14,358
Hey! What'd you get into?
91
00:03:14,392 --> 00:03:15,894
He could use
a stick of gum.
92
00:03:15,927 --> 00:03:17,929
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
93
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:33,377
Oh, Mennonites.
94
00:03:33,411 --> 00:03:34,579
Menno?nappers.
95
00:03:34,613 --> 00:03:36,715
WAYNE: Fuck, can they run,
those Nappers.
96
00:03:36,748 --> 00:03:38,449
That looks like
Noah Dyck.
97
00:03:38,482 --> 00:03:40,519
WAYNE: And Anita Dyck.
98
00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:44,422
Wayne.
Mr. Dyck.
99
00:03:44,455 --> 00:03:46,591
Dyck with a "Y," yes.
Daryl.
100
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,693
Mrs. Dyck.
101
00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,662
Wayne, feel free
to call me Noah Dyck.
102
00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:52,864
And, Daryl, please continue
to call me Mrs. Dyck.
103
00:03:52,897 --> 00:03:54,599
Brings ya up the laneway?
104
00:03:54,633 --> 00:03:57,669
Wayne, your family's always been
very good to our community
105
00:03:57,702 --> 00:03:59,738
and we appreciate it, once.
106
00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:01,606
You've used us right
and hopefully you feel
107
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,441
as though we've used
you right, too.
108
00:04:03,474 --> 00:04:04,576
Without question.
109
00:04:04,609 --> 00:04:06,310
We appreciate it, once.
110
00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:09,013
Which is why I know
I can count on your discretion.
111
00:04:09,047 --> 00:04:11,950
Especially in a matter
as sensitive as this one.
112
00:04:11,983 --> 00:04:13,417
Can confirm.
113
00:04:13,451 --> 00:04:14,452
Okay.
114
00:04:15,019 --> 00:04:16,955
This is not easy to say,
115
00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:18,557
nor is it by any means
an accusation...
116
00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:20,659
Where are our daughters?
Anita Dyck. Now.
117
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:22,326
Please.
118
00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:25,864
Our daughter, Charity.
Charity Dyck?
119
00:04:25,897 --> 00:04:27,766
And her sister Chastity...
120
00:04:27,799 --> 00:04:28,833
Chastity Dyck?
121
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:30,502
Are on their
gap year, once...
122
00:04:30,535 --> 00:04:31,636
Isn't that called
Rumspringa?
123
00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:32,704
Men are talking, Daryl.
124
00:04:32,737 --> 00:04:33,972
Anita Dyck and I are concerned
125
00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:35,807
that our little Dycks
have been bitten,
126
00:04:37,075 --> 00:04:38,743
by the good time bug.
127
00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:41,613
And while Dycks have been known
to slip out on occasion,
128
00:04:41,646 --> 00:04:43,682
our fear
129
00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:45,049
is that our Dycks have
130
00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:47,485
been out longer than
we're comfortable with, once.
131
00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:49,053
Have you seen
our Dycks?
132
00:04:49,087 --> 00:04:50,622
About yea tall, once.
133
00:04:50,655 --> 00:04:52,423
Strong nose,
like their father,
134
00:04:52,456 --> 00:04:54,058
strong?willed,
like their mother.
135
00:04:54,092 --> 00:04:56,795
I did see them
at the bush party, actually.
136
00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:59,063
Dycks at a bush party,
you say?
137
00:04:59,097 --> 00:05:00,799
I knew it.
Shameful.
138
00:05:00,832 --> 00:05:02,967
Haven't seen them
since though, truth be told.
139
00:05:04,102 --> 00:05:05,970
Katy, you seen
a Dyck or two?
140
00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:08,039
That's a loaded question,
big brother.
141
00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:11,643
Hello, Katy.
142
00:05:12,544 --> 00:05:14,412
Noah. Anita.
143
00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:15,479
Katherine.
144
00:05:15,514 --> 00:05:17,081
Lovely day.
145
00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:18,382
What brings
you guys by?
146
00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,452
We heard out daughters
were here and...
147
00:05:21,485 --> 00:05:22,353
Charity and...
148
00:05:22,386 --> 00:05:24,022
We'll take all the
Charity Dyck you've got.
149
00:05:24,055 --> 00:05:26,591
All the Chastity Dyck,
too.
150
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:27,759
We want Charity
and Chastity home
151
00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:30,795
before they get swayed into
a life of bad decisions, once.
152
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:31,896
They are free to decide whether
153
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,698
the English world is for them.
That is their right.
154
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:34,833
But our Dycks belong
in the hands of
155
00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:36,601
the Mennonite community.
156
00:05:36,635 --> 00:05:37,936
And we would like to gently
157
00:05:37,969 --> 00:05:39,871
suggest to them that they
return home with us
158
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,541
before they've
been too exposed.
159
00:05:43,975 --> 00:05:46,711
Well, the last I saw them,
they were with hockey players.
160
00:05:46,745 --> 00:05:47,879
(GASPS)
161
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:50,615
I offered to give them
a ride home but,
162
00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:52,884
they said that
they wanted to walk.
163
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:55,153
We Dycks can be hard?headed.
164
00:05:55,186 --> 00:05:57,421
Hockey players have
quite the reputation
165
00:05:57,455 --> 00:05:58,389
for sticking their noses,
166
00:05:58,422 --> 00:05:59,824
and other things,
where they don't belong.
167
00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:01,526
Can confirm.
168
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,927
Oh, dear.
My goodness.
169
00:06:02,961 --> 00:06:04,896
Good heavens.
Heaven only knows.
170
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:06,164
Well, the good news is,
171
00:06:06,197 --> 00:06:08,700
there's only a couple of places
hockey players tend to hang out.
172
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:10,434
Yeah, the gym or the barn.
173
00:06:10,468 --> 00:06:12,003
The barn?
Oh, dear.
174
00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:13,404
My goodness.
Good heavens.
175
00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:15,774
Heaven only knows.
The hayloft.
176
00:06:15,807 --> 00:06:18,943
Intertwined
in breathy clusters.
177
00:06:18,977 --> 00:06:20,645
Look, I should clarify.
178
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:22,146
The barn, as in the hockey rink.
179
00:06:23,114 --> 00:06:24,148
Yeah, you're looking for two
180
00:06:24,182 --> 00:06:25,850
puck heads
drivin' a Tonka truck.
181
00:06:25,884 --> 00:06:27,051
That's Reilly and Jonesy.
182
00:06:27,085 --> 00:06:28,219
And Noah, please go ahead
183
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:30,421
and let us know if there's
anything else we can do to help.
184
00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:33,491
Wayne, our entire community
thanks you for your kindness
185
00:06:33,525 --> 00:06:35,159
as you've shown us here
this day, once.
186
00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:37,562
Well,
187
00:06:37,596 --> 00:06:39,063
it looks like
a couple of Dycks.
188
00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:40,965
Oh, hello there, Daniel.
189
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,768
Haven't seen you
in the age of a dog.
190
00:06:46,505 --> 00:06:47,572
Well,
191
00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:48,707
until soon.
192
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,915
Goddamn Schmellies.
193
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:03,487
Whoa.
194
00:07:03,522 --> 00:07:03,822
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)
195
00:07:11,062 --> 00:07:12,564
And a good day
to ye both.
196
00:07:13,798 --> 00:07:16,234
I'm Noah Dyck,
with a "Y."
197
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:17,902
And this is my wife.
Anita Dyck.
198
00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:20,872
Ah, that's Jonesy.
199
00:07:20,905 --> 00:07:21,906
That's Reilly.
200
00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:23,775
Hello.
201
00:07:23,808 --> 00:07:26,144
Sorry to bother you,
but we were wondering if...
202
00:07:26,177 --> 00:07:27,746
Where are our daughters?
Yes.
203
00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:29,480
Dunno.
Ditto.
204
00:07:31,215 --> 00:07:33,852
Sorry for the confusion.
It's just that Wayne
205
00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:36,721
seemed to think you might
have seen our Dycks.
206
00:07:37,822 --> 00:07:40,258
Oh, those Dycks.
207
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:43,061
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Charity and, um...
208
00:07:43,094 --> 00:07:45,029
The other one.
Chastity.
209
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:47,732
Yeah. Yeah, it's all
coming back to me now.
210
00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:49,233
We, we, we met them.
211
00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:51,570
But we didn't, like,
meet them.
212
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:53,471
No, definitely
never met them.
213
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:56,240
Well, have you
seen them?
214
00:07:56,274 --> 00:08:00,144
Not, like, seen them,
if that's what you mean.
215
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,013
We're definitely
not seeing your Dycks.
216
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,548
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
217
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:04,583
No.
218
00:08:06,017 --> 00:08:08,987
But I do know this. If I find
out you're lying to me,
219
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:11,790
the wrath of an angry Dyck
will leave a lasting mark. Once.
220
00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:15,093
Well, maybe check
the Dollar Store.
221
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:17,028
They may be dancing
with the skids or something.
222
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,598
Thank you so much
for your time.
223
00:08:19,631 --> 00:08:21,533
Praise be to God.
Praise be to Him.
224
00:08:21,566 --> 00:08:23,802
Praise be to you.
Praise be.
225
00:08:25,269 --> 00:08:27,138
Well, blessed is the fruit.
226
00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:28,607
May the Lord open.
227
00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:32,977
ANITA: Must be
a new translation.
228
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:35,079
What the fuck was that?
229
00:08:42,621 --> 00:08:43,922
You almost blew it!
230
00:08:43,955 --> 00:08:46,257
Charity!
(LAUGHING)
231
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:49,861
You know, you guys
have been around like, a lot.
232
00:08:49,894 --> 00:08:51,896
The Dycks love
the English world.
233
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:52,997
Yeah, but I mean,
234
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:55,967
the Mennonite world has
its perks, too, I'm sure.
235
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,569
Just put a little English
on a Dyck.
236
00:08:57,602 --> 00:08:59,771
And we'll put a little
Mennonite on a penis.
237
00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:01,573
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
238
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,143
Dan, why do you hate
Mennonites so much?
239
00:09:05,176 --> 00:09:06,945
They're nice people,
good workers.
240
00:09:06,978 --> 00:09:08,012
They're great workers.
241
00:09:08,046 --> 00:09:09,614
Good runners, too.
Fuck, can they run.
242
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:11,583
They drive a hard bargain
on the business side.
243
00:09:11,616 --> 00:09:13,151
Yeah, can be
a wee bit sheisty.
244
00:09:13,184 --> 00:09:15,253
Oh, they run like the wind.
Every one of them can run.
245
00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:17,288
Tight with money.
Great workers.
246
00:09:17,321 --> 00:09:19,090
They'll show you a thing
or two about good work.
247
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,292
They'll beat you in a race, boy.
Fuck, can they run.
248
00:09:21,325 --> 00:09:24,128
Just because I respects them
don't means I can't hates them.
249
00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:25,964
I'm gonna need a minute
250
00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:28,266
with that. That was like
a quadruple negative.
251
00:09:28,299 --> 00:09:30,702
Well, how can you hate 'em?
They're harmless.
252
00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:32,136
That's what they
wants you to think.
253
00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:33,638
But deep down they're judgier
254
00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:35,106
than Judge Reinhold
and Judge Judy
255
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,207
watching Judge Dredds.
256
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,308
Oh, is that
what they are?
257
00:09:37,341 --> 00:09:38,743
I was fifteens
at the time.
258
00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:39,811
Is that what you were?
259
00:09:39,844 --> 00:09:41,646
It was the Letterkenny
Days picnic,
260
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:42,981
hottest day in July.
261
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:44,382
I believe yous were away
at a balls tournament.
262
00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:46,117
The Jeff Davies Memorial.
263
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,185
Jeff Davies
was fast too.
264
00:09:47,218 --> 00:09:49,387
Not as fast as a Napper, though.
Fuck, can they run.
265
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,990
Anyhoo, it was
the tater sack race.
266
00:09:52,023 --> 00:09:53,124
I always hated them.
267
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:54,192
Burlap burns.
268
00:09:54,225 --> 00:09:57,762
First prize was an ice?cold
glass of lemonades.
269
00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,063
We lined up at the start line
and looked across to
270
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:01,766
the finish line and
there she was.
271
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,803
A little Schmellie, holdin' up
the prize lemonades,
272
00:10:04,836 --> 00:10:05,770
almost like a mirage.
273
00:10:05,804 --> 00:10:07,405
That's my favorite
all?time chocolate bar.
274
00:10:07,438 --> 00:10:08,640
We locked eyes and smiled.
275
00:10:08,673 --> 00:10:11,710
Despite her broad shoulders,
she was cute as a bug's horn.
276
00:10:11,743 --> 00:10:12,777
Good runner, too, no doubt.
277
00:10:12,811 --> 00:10:15,714
I was in first place coming down
to the finish line,
278
00:10:15,747 --> 00:10:17,248
like the wind.
279
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:18,917
So I guess you
could say you had it
280
00:10:19,383 --> 00:10:20,418
in the bag?
281
00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:21,653
Hey?o!
Hey?o!
282
00:10:22,086 --> 00:10:23,087
I did.
283
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:26,224
When out of nowhere, this...
284
00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:28,960
Schmellie in a sack...
285
00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:30,028
No, I told you
they were fast.
286
00:10:30,061 --> 00:10:31,162
I'm the one who's been saying
287
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,231
this entire time how fast
they are. Fuck, can they run.
288
00:10:33,264 --> 00:10:35,299
He comes tearing up
from behinds me,
289
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:36,768
knocks me over,
290
00:10:36,801 --> 00:10:38,002
ass over teakettles.
291
00:10:38,036 --> 00:10:39,137
Wasn't he disqualified?
292
00:10:39,170 --> 00:10:40,238
No.
293
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:42,440
Well, Schmellies are sheisty.
294
00:10:42,473 --> 00:10:43,975
Yeah,
he should have been DQ'd
295
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:45,076
like a chocolate?dipped cone.
296
00:10:45,109 --> 00:10:46,210
So who was he?
297
00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:47,378
Who's to say?
298
00:10:47,411 --> 00:10:49,080
It all happened so fast.
299
00:10:49,113 --> 00:10:52,150
I've never seens that
Schmellie before or since.
300
00:10:52,183 --> 00:10:53,317
Alls I know is I watched him
301
00:10:53,351 --> 00:10:55,153
hop across the finish line
upside down
302
00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:57,088
and claim my prize.
303
00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:58,289
Why was he upside down?
304
00:10:58,322 --> 00:10:59,791
He wasn't.
305
00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:00,825
I was.
306
00:11:01,359 --> 00:11:02,360
I ates it.
307
00:11:03,427 --> 00:11:05,229
Never got to the lemonade.
308
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,098
Never got to chats with her.
309
00:11:07,131 --> 00:11:09,400
I never even
seens her again.
310
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,235
But I'll never forgets her.
311
00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:12,704
And guess who she was?
312
00:11:12,737 --> 00:11:13,838
ALL: Who?
313
00:11:14,472 --> 00:11:17,141
Lovina Dyck.
314
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:19,043
ALL: Lovina Dyck?
315
00:11:19,077 --> 00:11:21,713
That's right,
Lovina Dyck.
316
00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:24,816
Younger sister
of one Noah Dyck!
317
00:11:24,849 --> 00:11:26,951
Yeah, I know who that is.
Fuck, she can run, boy.
318
00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:29,120
So you had a crush
on a Schmellie?
319
00:11:29,153 --> 00:11:31,089
I did.
320
00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:33,291
And I had my hearts
broken that day.
321
00:11:33,324 --> 00:11:35,193
And ever since then
322
00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:37,461
I have never trusted
a Menno?napper.
323
00:11:37,495 --> 00:11:42,133
So, Lovina Dyck is the one
who got away for Squirrelly Dan.
324
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:43,034
(CHUCKLES)
325
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,203
What if Dan ended up
with a Schmellie?
326
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:46,805
And a Schmellie Dyck even?
327
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:47,939
Let's try and find a way
328
00:11:47,972 --> 00:11:50,842
to never say Schmellie
and Dyck in the same sentence.
329
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:52,944
I do often wonders
330
00:11:52,977 --> 00:11:54,813
what's ever happeneds to her.
331
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:57,916
Fuck, can they run.
332
00:12:01,452 --> 00:12:03,354
(RAVE MUSIC PLAYING)
333
00:12:05,089 --> 00:12:06,490
(MAN BARKING)
334
00:12:07,358 --> 00:12:08,426
(MEOWS)
335
00:12:13,231 --> 00:12:14,398
NOAH: Whoa.
336
00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:29,914
Hello unto ye.
337
00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:31,215
I am Noah Dyck
338
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,851
and this is my wife,
Anita Dyck.
339
00:12:33,451 --> 00:12:34,986
How do you spell that?
340
00:12:35,019 --> 00:12:36,354
Why, with a "Y,"
of course.
341
00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:39,057
Sure you guys
aren't dykes?
342
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:41,526
(BOTH LAUGHING)
343
00:12:44,262 --> 00:12:46,330
We are hoping you can
help us find our daughters.
344
00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:48,366
How many do you have?
345
00:12:48,399 --> 00:12:50,368
Two.
Oh.
346
00:12:50,401 --> 00:12:52,971
A pair of Dycks.
Stewart! (LAUGHS)
347
00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:55,406
Your Dycks are not
our responsibility.
348
00:12:55,439 --> 00:12:57,075
Stewart!
349
00:12:57,108 --> 00:12:59,443
Maybe we have done
awful things to them
350
00:12:59,477 --> 00:13:02,981
and they're sleeping it off
in our tenement right now.
351
00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:04,182
But they'll dance again.
352
00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:09,954
Dance is a vertical expression
of a horizontal intention.
353
00:13:09,988 --> 00:13:12,423
And I will urge you to never
let your intentions be known
354
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:14,358
in the presence of mine
wife ever again, once.
355
00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:15,560
Why?
356
00:13:16,427 --> 00:13:17,896
I bet she's...
357
00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:19,463
Menno?tight.
358
00:13:21,432 --> 00:13:22,466
Care to explore each other
359
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,435
while the Menno?night
is still young?
360
00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:25,637
Anita Dyck!
361
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,172
Watch what you say, please,
with your pink mouth, once.
362
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,041
STEWART: Ow!
363
00:13:30,074 --> 00:13:31,342
On the day
of judgement,
364
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,844
He will gather
all nations,
365
00:13:32,877 --> 00:13:34,546
separate the sheep
from the right
366
00:13:34,579 --> 00:13:36,581
and goats on the left.
367
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,350
Which are you,
sheep or goat?
368
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:40,552
(VOICE GAGGING)
369
00:13:40,585 --> 00:13:42,887
Sheep or goat?
370
00:13:42,921 --> 00:13:44,889
Goat!
371
00:13:44,923 --> 00:13:48,527
Goat?
Where are my daughters?
372
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,094
(HORSE WHINNIES)
Names?
373
00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:51,429
Uh, Charity Dyck.
374
00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:52,864
(SNORTS)
375
00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:55,066
Bless you.
And Chastity Dyck.
376
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:57,201
I've not seen
a Charity Dyck.
377
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,237
I've no use
for a Chastity Dyck.
378
00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:04,909
Good. Yous are
pure sinful.
379
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:08,079
You Dycks appear firm.
380
00:14:08,112 --> 00:14:09,313
In your beliefs.
381
00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:10,414
(GIGGLES) Stewart!
382
00:14:10,448 --> 00:14:12,083
Ow!
383
00:14:12,116 --> 00:14:14,953
Ask Glen! He knows everything
that goes on in Letterkenny!
384
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,255
Get gone, goats!
385
00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:18,322
(WHIMPERS)
386
00:14:18,356 --> 00:14:19,390
(HISSES)
387
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,425
(BLEATS)
388
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,436
Why, it's a good thing you
stepped in when you did, once.
389
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,973
I was on the verge
of getting rather cross.
390
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:47,418
Boys.
Boys.
391
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:50,054
Grab a rake, tidy that gravel
you've upset.
392
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:52,090
We need a favor, boys.
A big one, boys.
393
00:14:52,123 --> 00:14:53,091
What's the matter?
394
00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:55,159
Are your Robert Munsch
book reports overdue?
395
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:57,028
Thomas' Snowsuit
or Moira's Birthday?
396
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:59,097
Angela's Airplanes
or Stephanie's Ponytails?
397
00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:00,665
Paperbag Princess
was the best.
398
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:02,000
Oh, I liked 50 Below Zero.
399
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:04,569
What? Pigs was the best.
400
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:07,238
Oh, no, David's Father.
401
00:15:07,271 --> 00:15:09,574
We don't have Robert Munsch
book reports overdue.
402
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,044
But if I had to pick
my favorite,
403
00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,312
it'd be Mortimer.
404
00:15:14,345 --> 00:15:15,680
I'd pick
The Boy In The Drawer,
405
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:16,648
but only 'cause somebody
406
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:18,149
probably already picked
Love You Forever.
407
00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:19,584
Or my personal favorite...
408
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,353
I Have to Go!
409
00:15:22,386 --> 00:15:24,355
No! This is serious, boys.
410
00:15:24,388 --> 00:15:25,657
We had to call off our
411
00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:27,225
takedown tourney
with Ronsey and Daxie.
412
00:15:27,258 --> 00:15:28,660
We got Dycks all over us.
413
00:15:28,693 --> 00:15:29,594
Tragic.
414
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,462
Those Schmellies
are shwarming us, boys.
415
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:33,264
Can we hide out here?
Why?
416
00:15:33,297 --> 00:15:35,600
Katy, I'll put this gently.
All they want to do is bang.
417
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,035
They're Bangelina Jolie.
418
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,436
We feel like characters
in a Bang Lee movie.
419
00:15:38,469 --> 00:15:39,403
They need
Banger Management.
420
00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,706
And now you want
to hit the Menno?pause button?
421
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,975
They need more junk
than a heroin addict.
422
00:15:44,008 --> 00:15:46,010
All they want to do
is make pound cake.
423
00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:47,546
We're runnin' out
of frosting, boys.
424
00:15:47,579 --> 00:15:48,747
What's the matter, boys,
425
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,582
not enough wood
to make the furniture?
426
00:15:50,615 --> 00:15:52,584
Boys, the Mennonite has come
to the end of the road?
427
00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:54,586
They're Olympic?level
pole?vaulters, buddy.
428
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:56,555
Ruthless on
the uneven bar, bro.
429
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,189
They're the renegades
of spunk.
430
00:15:58,222 --> 00:15:59,357
Say jam, sucka.
431
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:00,324
And now you're too tired
432
00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:02,561
to go all Menno?night long,
Lionel Bitchy?
433
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:04,228
Bonnet blisters
on your birds?
434
00:16:04,262 --> 00:16:05,997
Tappin' out from tappin'.
435
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:07,065
Bush league.
436
00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:08,199
BOTH: Oh, there is bush...
437
00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,068
League?
438
00:16:10,101 --> 00:16:11,402
Beat it.
439
00:16:11,435 --> 00:16:12,571
BOTH: Katy!
440
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,172
Fine. Go up to my room.
441
00:16:14,205 --> 00:16:16,074
BOTH: Thanks, Katy?Kat.
442
00:16:17,742 --> 00:16:21,680
Wait. You've said that before
and it was to go bang.
443
00:16:21,713 --> 00:16:25,517
And like we said, we definitely
have bang?overs. But if you...
444
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:27,085
Go.
445
00:16:27,118 --> 00:16:28,152
So, you wanna do...
446
00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:29,754
You wanna, like,
do some sex or...
447
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:31,122
Or...
448
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:32,423
Go!
449
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,529
They just parked the Jeep
in the driveway.
450
00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:39,764
That is a new level
of not smart.
451
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,432
Should we move it?
Nah.
452
00:16:41,465 --> 00:16:42,500
How are they ever gonna learn
453
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,202
if we don't let 'em
crash and burn?
454
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:48,406
Do yous guys thinks that
all Mennonites have a hankerings
455
00:16:48,439 --> 00:16:50,642
for frequent
intimate relations?
456
00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:52,476
I'm gonna go ahead
and give you the answer
457
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,312
I can only assume
you're hoping for, Dan.
458
00:16:55,079 --> 00:16:56,147
Big time.
459
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:57,115
They are good workers.
460
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:59,518
WAYNE: Fast runners, too.
Fuck, can they run!
461
00:17:03,087 --> 00:17:04,488
Hello?
GLEN: Hello.
462
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,057
Hello?
Hello?
463
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:08,326
Hi, y'all.
464
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:09,794
Sorry to interrupt
your worship.
465
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:12,463
Ah, don't be silly, Noah.
466
00:17:12,496 --> 00:17:16,568
I was just praying to Jesus's
Mother, so the more the Mary?er.
467
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,203
What is the mat for?
468
00:17:19,237 --> 00:17:21,640
Oh, that's just me
gettin' in a little exercise
469
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,341
while I commune
with the Lord.
470
00:17:23,374 --> 00:17:25,076
I call it Yo?God.
471
00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:26,410
Pretty sure it's
gonna be a thing.
472
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,648
Now, I'm always excited
to see a Dyck,
473
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,382
but two Dycks at once?
474
00:17:31,415 --> 00:17:32,584
My cup runneth over.
475
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:35,353
To what do I owe the pleasure
of getting double?Dycked?
476
00:17:37,288 --> 00:17:38,590
I, Noah Dyck,
477
00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:40,825
am looking
for my daughters.
478
00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:42,460
They're on their
gap year, once,
479
00:17:42,493 --> 00:17:44,262
and we are fearful
480
00:17:44,295 --> 00:17:46,765
that the
hedonistic lifestyle
481
00:17:46,798 --> 00:17:48,399
has captured
their imaginations.
482
00:17:48,432 --> 00:17:51,135
Ugh, preach.
I know all about it.
483
00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:52,771
You do?
Well, of course I do.
484
00:17:52,804 --> 00:17:55,439
My parents were both in
missionary positions in Africa.
485
00:17:55,473 --> 00:17:57,275
So, on my gap year,
486
00:17:57,308 --> 00:17:58,643
I ran away and joined an
487
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:01,613
all?male period revue
about dolphin poaching,
488
00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:03,414
called Master and Baiter.
489
00:18:03,447 --> 00:18:05,617
Yelp reviews included,
"It's fin?tastic,"
490
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:07,752
and, "A performance
with porpoise."
491
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,153
Honest to pod?
492
00:18:09,187 --> 00:18:11,489
(LAUGHING)
Noah!
493
00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:12,624
Honest to cod.
494
00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:14,893
(ALL LAUGHING)
495
00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:17,295
One meanie on Yelp,
however, wrote,
496
00:18:17,328 --> 00:18:19,197
"Will this every dol?finish?"
497
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,900
But I didn't care because
a buddy of mine and I
498
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:25,169
made a blowhole we were
both super proud of.
499
00:18:28,272 --> 00:18:29,574
Have you seen
our Dycks or not?
500
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,242
Anita Dyck, full stop.
501
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:33,645
I have not.
502
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:35,346
However, here's a thought.
503
00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:37,448
Go to the farm
and ask Wayne,
504
00:18:37,481 --> 00:18:39,417
because I know
if I was a teenage girl,
505
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,252
and I'm 80% sure
that I am not,
506
00:18:41,285 --> 00:18:44,388
that's exactly where I would go
to get my gap filled.
507
00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:47,759
(CARRIAGE APPROACHING)
508
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:49,260
NOAH: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
509
00:18:58,637 --> 00:18:59,771
Here I stand...
510
00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:02,841
Dyckless.
511
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:04,776
Is that the Jeep
512
00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:06,344
that belongs to those
two sleeveless ne'er do wells?
513
00:19:06,377 --> 00:19:08,647
Um...
Noah, Anita.
514
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,782
As you mentioned
previously,
515
00:19:10,815 --> 00:19:13,184
we've always been honest
with each other.
516
00:19:13,217 --> 00:19:14,786
God rewards honesty, once.
517
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:16,621
God is the way,
the truth and the life.
518
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,322
Those two nut sacs
are in the house.
519
00:19:18,356 --> 00:19:19,624
Wayne!
Katy!
520
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,827
If anyone in town
was missing a kid or a cat,
521
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:25,830
Nappers'd be the first ones
knockin' offering help.
522
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,632
It's only right
we pay that forward.
523
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,401
Do unto others as you would
have them do unto.
524
00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:31,636
A golden.
525
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,805
Wayne's right.
526
00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:36,541
Might as well come out, boys.
The jig is up.
527
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:40,512
God help you both!
Anita Dyck. Anita Dyck.
528
00:19:40,545 --> 00:19:42,581
Dycks, please!
529
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:43,548
Now we've all done things
530
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:46,618
in our younger years
that we later regrets.
531
00:19:46,651 --> 00:19:48,720
What didn't kill us,
perhaps it made us stronger.
532
00:19:48,753 --> 00:19:50,321
If it was a bad time,
533
00:19:50,354 --> 00:19:51,756
maybe it led
to a good story.
534
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,592
Sometimes even both.
535
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,494
But these young fellas
was just being young fellas.
536
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,862
You can't faults 'em
for that.
537
00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:00,565
Just like your young gals
was just being young gals.
538
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:02,466
Curious. Experimentals.
539
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,535
Super bendy.
540
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:04,636
Gumby bendy.
541
00:20:04,669 --> 00:20:06,971
That's enough of...
Anita Dyck. Anita.
542
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,773
Tongues are like
Aces, boys,
543
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,509
you gotta know
when to hold 'em.
544
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,010
My point is there's also
545
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:14,245
things we regrets in life
that we didn't do.
546
00:20:14,278 --> 00:20:16,480
This is one time in my life
I don't need a sermon, Daniel.
547
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:19,584
Anita Dyck, let's listen
with our heart on our sleeve.
548
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:22,921
For examples, I regrets
not telling your sister...
549
00:20:22,954 --> 00:20:23,888
She's Lovina Dyck.
550
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,791
Yes, no, I know.
I know who your sister is.
551
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:27,926
And I regrets not telling
552
00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:30,529
your sister, Lovinas Dycks,
that I was sweet on her
553
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,796
all them years ago.
554
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:34,966
I let my foolish pride
gets in my way.
555
00:20:34,999 --> 00:20:37,536
Well, Dan, I had no idea.
556
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:38,970
Although, it makes
perfect sense.
557
00:20:39,003 --> 00:20:40,539
She's a wonderful woman.
558
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,341
With a heart as big
as her shoulders are broad.
559
00:20:44,075 --> 00:20:45,977
But I'm confused, once.
560
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:48,479
What does this have to do
with our tiny Dycks?
561
00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:52,350
Well, I'm quite sure that your
daughters are gonna regret
562
00:20:52,383 --> 00:20:54,886
exchanging bodily fluids
with these young fellas less
563
00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,721
than I regrets not letting
564
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,023
Lovina Dycks knows
I was sweets on her.
565
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:01,359
Wanna know what, Squirrelly D?
I'm really rooting for you here.
566
00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:02,426
But you can go ahead
567
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,963
and summit Mount What's
Your Point any time now.
568
00:21:04,996 --> 00:21:07,732
So, you likes to drive
a hard bargain.
569
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,668
Yeah, Nappers are
a wee bit sheisty.
570
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:11,603
Here's mine.
571
00:21:11,636 --> 00:21:13,037
If you lets this go,
572
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,673
I'll bring your gals to ya.
573
00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:16,575
I seen 'em ups town
not too long ago.
574
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:19,811
But once
I bring 'em to ya,
575
00:21:19,844 --> 00:21:22,480
you've gots to brings mes
to Lovinas Dycks,
576
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:25,349
so we can have a long
overdues conversation.
577
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:27,586
And maybe then all of us
can gets some closures.
578
00:21:27,636 --> 00:21:32,186
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