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1
00:00:10,153 --> 00:00:12,506
A fuckin' cross?fitter
gave ya the stink?eye
2
00:00:12,539 --> 00:00:14,841
flippin' tires down the street
trying to look hard.
3
00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:16,877
Buddy, you're softer
than a Cinnabon sampler.
4
00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:18,612
You kiss your friend's
older sister once who
5
00:00:18,645 --> 00:00:20,246
who tastes like
Fisherman's Friends
6
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,182
then you better do horn
to that memory ever since.
7
00:00:22,215 --> 00:00:24,450
You woke up with your horn
looking out the window
8
00:00:24,484 --> 00:00:26,186
but you gotta be
at work in 20.
9
00:00:26,219 --> 00:00:27,287
So it's now or never.
10
00:00:28,321 --> 00:00:29,489
Well, I should say.
11
00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:31,625
We're all excited that the Leafs
are doing betters and all's.
12
00:00:31,658 --> 00:00:33,293
But if they think's
you're payin' a buck?twenty
13
00:00:33,326 --> 00:00:35,461
for upper bowl seats,
they can suck my babcock.
14
00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:37,731
You ripped a game of Buck Hunter
so fuckin' immaculate
15
00:00:37,764 --> 00:00:40,133
that bar has brought you in
through the kitchen ever since.
16
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,602
Your gal likes goin'
for long drives,
17
00:00:41,635 --> 00:00:44,304
chit?chattin' around town
like gas ain't a buck?forty.
18
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:45,672
With zero regard
for the amount of lawns
19
00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:47,240
you gotta mow
to fill the cocksucker.
20
00:00:47,273 --> 00:00:49,209
Your pal squeezed
into the same section
21
00:00:49,242 --> 00:00:51,912
of a revolving door behind you
one time and you're still pals.
22
00:00:51,945 --> 00:00:53,113
But, like,
23
00:00:53,146 --> 00:00:55,616
you're not about to sit beside
him at a fuckin' campfire.
24
00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:57,350
Jivin' Pete says
his new gal
25
00:00:57,383 --> 00:00:58,752
looks like
a young Shania Twain
26
00:00:58,785 --> 00:01:00,420
and you just don't have
the Timbits to tell him
27
00:01:00,453 --> 00:01:03,256
that she looks more like Post
Malone's fucked Dion Phaneuf's.
28
00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:05,191
You know it's tits?up
for your ball team
29
00:01:05,225 --> 00:01:07,327
when the opposing pitcher's
got arms so big,
30
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,162
he could throw
a cotton ball over a barn.
31
00:01:09,195 --> 00:01:10,330
You knew your pal
had come into money
32
00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:12,232
when he started throwing out
perfectly good pistachios,
33
00:01:12,265 --> 00:01:13,466
like he was above
cranking 'em open
34
00:01:13,499 --> 00:01:14,935
with a box cutter
like the rest of us.
35
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:16,603
You're pretty sweet
on your new gal,
36
00:01:16,637 --> 00:01:18,805
but if she forgets to close
the third door of your truck
37
00:01:18,839 --> 00:01:20,440
before the passenger door
one more time,
38
00:01:20,473 --> 00:01:21,708
it's fuckin' over.
I've had it.
39
00:01:23,343 --> 00:01:24,377
You caught a whiff of a gals
40
00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:25,512
that smelled like
campfire smokes
41
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,814
and that shit's got ya stiff
as a week?old Slim Jims.
42
00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:30,717
Your friend's dad gets so mad
sometimes, he hollers "fuck,"
43
00:01:30,751 --> 00:01:33,554
but doesn't pronounce the C?K
at the end, he's so squirrelly.
44
00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:34,755
So it sounds more like "fu"!
45
00:01:34,788 --> 00:01:35,822
Fu!
Fu!
46
00:01:35,856 --> 00:01:37,257
Fu!
And I think that's
47
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:38,525
pretty fu?ckin' funny.
48
00:01:39,292 --> 00:01:40,360
You guys drink too much.
49
00:01:40,393 --> 00:01:41,728
Said buddy
with the bloody nose
50
00:01:41,762 --> 00:01:43,564
from hooverin' shneef off
a sandy beach towel.
51
00:01:43,597 --> 00:01:45,398
(SNIFFS)
52
00:01:45,431 --> 00:01:46,533
So, what have you's been up to?
53
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:48,935
Rap game!
I'm Fire Marshall Mathers.
54
00:01:48,969 --> 00:01:50,504
Oh, let's hear it.
55
00:01:50,537 --> 00:01:52,773
Mo' fuckin' pussy bitch
still on the hind tit
56
00:01:52,806 --> 00:01:54,975
Licking less
lick clit shit, whoa!
57
00:01:55,008 --> 00:01:56,342
Whoa.
Whoa.
58
00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:57,477
Whoa.
59
00:01:57,511 --> 00:01:59,445
Got the streets a bubblin'...
60
00:01:59,479 --> 00:02:00,480
Where's Stewart?
61
00:02:01,915 --> 00:02:04,284
Your pal added
comic relief to your sister
62
00:02:04,317 --> 00:02:05,151
catching a line drive
63
00:02:05,185 --> 00:02:07,320
in the womanhood
at softball by sayin'...
64
00:02:07,353 --> 00:02:08,722
Right in the twiffer!
65
00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:09,856
Still not laughing.
66
00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:12,926
BOTH: Twiffer!
(LAUGHING)
67
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,328
It's a bad look
if I'm not smokin' hot.
68
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:16,563
At least I'm smokin' pot.
69
00:02:16,597 --> 00:02:17,698
You can say with confidence,
70
00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:19,900
the hockey players are still
a couple of dumb fucks,
71
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:21,635
because now after a goal
they go holler...
72
00:02:21,668 --> 00:02:23,670
He shoots, he sca...
He shoots, he sca...
73
00:02:24,638 --> 00:02:25,672
So there that is.
74
00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:27,674
Crosby sca...
McDavid sca...
75
00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:29,375
Any more wisdoms
while we gotchas?
76
00:02:29,409 --> 00:02:30,476
Yes.
77
00:02:30,511 --> 00:02:33,514
A, B, C,
Always Be Lifting!
78
00:02:33,547 --> 00:02:35,281
Also, road games.
79
00:02:35,315 --> 00:02:36,349
Sometimes,
80
00:02:36,382 --> 00:02:37,450
there are two buddies
to a room,
81
00:02:37,483 --> 00:02:38,685
but there's
only one bed.
82
00:02:38,719 --> 00:02:42,255
Golden rule,
you can sleep pole to pole.
83
00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:43,757
And hole to hole.
84
00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:45,626
But, you can't
sleep...
85
00:02:45,659 --> 00:02:47,393
BOTH: Pole to hole.
86
00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:49,730
You put the dumb
in wisdumb, don't ya's?
87
00:02:49,763 --> 00:02:50,997
You and your sister
were bickering...
88
00:02:51,031 --> 00:02:52,465
We spat about,
I don't know what...
89
00:02:52,498 --> 00:02:53,366
When she said...
90
00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:54,701
I could argue till
the cows come home.
91
00:02:54,735 --> 00:02:56,036
She pointed at 'em
in the yard,
92
00:02:56,069 --> 00:02:56,903
out the kitchen windows.
93
00:02:56,937 --> 00:02:58,639
Fuck, let's not let
supper get cold.
94
00:02:58,672 --> 00:03:02,308
BOTH: Twiffer. (CHUCKLING)
95
00:03:02,342 --> 00:03:04,945
Still not laughing.
Fuckin' inbreds.
96
00:03:04,978 --> 00:03:06,580
Inbred hot chili peppers.
97
00:03:06,613 --> 00:03:07,781
Washington Inbredskins.
98
00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:08,882
Cincinnati Inbreds.
99
00:03:08,915 --> 00:03:09,950
Inbred Riding Hood.
100
00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:11,685
Inbred Lobster?
101
00:03:11,718 --> 00:03:12,919
Can we get this rig rolling?
102
00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:15,722
Inbredy, set, go.
103
00:03:15,756 --> 00:03:17,758
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
104
00:03:29,503 --> 00:03:31,404
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
105
00:05:25,719 --> 00:05:27,420
Thanks for making
the trip this weekend.
106
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:28,955
Thanks for making
the trip last weekend.
107
00:05:28,989 --> 00:05:30,557
Look forward to the trip
next weekend.
108
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:31,625
(CLINK)
109
00:05:33,927 --> 00:05:34,995
You remember McMurray, eh?
110
00:05:35,028 --> 00:05:37,463
Don't think he'd let me
forget him if I wanted to.
111
00:05:37,497 --> 00:05:39,800
Let me, uh... Let me bend your
ear on something. Here...
112
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:40,834
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
113
00:05:42,002 --> 00:05:43,036
Could have guessed.
114
00:05:43,069 --> 00:05:44,070
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
115
00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:46,472
Um...
116
00:05:52,078 --> 00:05:53,113
You were gonna
bend my ear?
117
00:05:53,146 --> 00:05:54,581
She was being
a bit of a cow, eh?
118
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:55,782
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
119
00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:57,450
So anywho,
McMurray told me
120
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,885
that he was
at the airport one time
121
00:05:58,919 --> 00:06:01,588
and he seen a dude
in the washroom at the urinal.
122
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,489
And he was working
his iPad while he...
123
00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:05,191
Pissed?
Rocked one, yeah.
124
00:06:05,225 --> 00:06:06,827
You can say it. Just
don't make a habit of it.
125
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:08,094
Texas?sized 10?4.
126
00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:09,195
The dude was
at the airport
127
00:06:09,229 --> 00:06:11,064
with his iPad on top
of the urinal
128
00:06:11,097 --> 00:06:12,866
and he was working on it
while he rocked one?
129
00:06:12,899 --> 00:06:13,934
Can confirm.
130
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:15,035
What could be
so urgent?
131
00:06:15,068 --> 00:06:17,070
That's what I said. I said,
"What could be so urgent?"
132
00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:18,572
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
133
00:06:18,605 --> 00:06:20,807
Then I said,
"Like, who is this nut sac?"
134
00:06:20,841 --> 00:06:22,609
Or who does
this nut sac think he is?
135
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,077
Here's the thing that
I'm going to tell you.
136
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:26,079
Now, I've really come land,
sea, and air at this...
137
00:06:26,112 --> 00:06:27,814
'Kay.
...over time.
138
00:06:27,848 --> 00:06:30,216
There's only thing
that could be so urgent...
139
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:31,518
Checkin' in
for his flight?
140
00:06:31,552 --> 00:06:32,653
Hard no.
141
00:06:32,686 --> 00:06:33,854
Uh, a lot of airlines
over?book
142
00:06:33,887 --> 00:06:35,488
their flights
anticipating no?shows.
143
00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:36,990
And if you don't check in
you're hooped.
144
00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:39,593
But still,
to be at the airport,
145
00:06:39,626 --> 00:06:42,128
at the urinal,
on your iPad, with your...
146
00:06:42,162 --> 00:06:43,964
Dick out?
Your horn, yeah.
147
00:06:43,997 --> 00:06:45,065
Dick.
Won't make a habit of it.
148
00:06:45,098 --> 00:06:45,932
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
149
00:06:45,966 --> 00:06:48,535
To be at the airport,
at the urinal,
150
00:06:48,569 --> 00:06:50,637
on your iPad,
with your dick out,
151
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,506
there's got to be more at stake
than a missed flight.
152
00:06:52,539 --> 00:06:53,874
Have you ever
missed a flight?
153
00:06:53,907 --> 00:06:54,941
No.
Me neither.
154
00:06:54,975 --> 00:06:55,909
'Kay.
Bet it sucks, though.
155
00:06:55,942 --> 00:06:59,680
Still, airport, iPad,
urinal, dick out...
156
00:07:01,548 --> 00:07:02,616
Like let's get
real here.
157
00:07:02,649 --> 00:07:03,950
You get real.
You get real.
158
00:07:03,984 --> 00:07:05,786
The dude's important.
159
00:07:05,819 --> 00:07:08,689
Or he's got someone
really important to answer to,
160
00:07:08,722 --> 00:07:10,791
if his iPad work couldn't wait
till after he rocked one.
161
00:07:10,824 --> 00:07:11,992
Big time.
162
00:07:12,025 --> 00:07:14,094
What's he putting into the iPad
is what I want to know.
163
00:07:14,127 --> 00:07:15,061
L'il help?
L'il help.
164
00:07:15,095 --> 00:07:16,897
Wanna know what
he's puttin' in the iPad?
165
00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:18,164
I can tell you what he's
putting in the iPad.
166
00:07:18,198 --> 00:07:19,733
Here's what he's
putting into the iPad.
167
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,101
The codes.
168
00:07:22,903 --> 00:07:23,937
"The" codes?
169
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:24,805
Those codes.
170
00:07:24,838 --> 00:07:26,907
That's a thing that
could be so urgent.
171
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:29,275
That's the one thing
that could be so urgent.
172
00:07:29,309 --> 00:07:30,544
What a goof.
173
00:07:30,577 --> 00:07:32,646
To be at the airport
at the urinal,
174
00:07:32,679 --> 00:07:34,180
with your iPad,
your dick out...
175
00:07:34,214 --> 00:07:36,016
Silly.
This nut sac
176
00:07:36,049 --> 00:07:38,952
is one in a chain of
commanding political figures
177
00:07:38,985 --> 00:07:40,286
with access to the codes
178
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,155
to green light
a nuclear strike.
179
00:07:42,188 --> 00:07:43,389
That's who he is.
180
00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:46,026
And he had to get his portion
of the codes in immediately,
181
00:07:46,059 --> 00:07:47,894
so that the warheads
could take flight.
182
00:07:47,928 --> 00:07:49,095
Why's he firing
a warhead?
183
00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:52,232
Well, someone would have had
to fire a warhead first, right?
184
00:07:52,265 --> 00:07:54,034
You know, if I'm that dude
at the airport,
185
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,702
with my dick out,
working on my iPad,
186
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,137
I mean, the whole
fuckin' world's at stake.
187
00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:58,639
There's
multiple warheads?
188
00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:01,742
Both sides would have
to have warheads in the air
189
00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:04,210
or projectiles,
if it's nuclear war, yes.
190
00:08:04,244 --> 00:08:05,345
Those are some stakes.
191
00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:07,013
What else
could be so urgent?
192
00:08:07,047 --> 00:08:08,682
Not much else
could be so urgent.
193
00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:10,651
So the other three in the
political chain of command
194
00:08:10,684 --> 00:08:12,252
had already entered
their portion of the codes
195
00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:14,020
and they just needed,
196
00:08:14,054 --> 00:08:15,889
we'll call him Gary,
197
00:08:15,922 --> 00:08:17,323
to enter his portion
of the codes.
198
00:08:17,357 --> 00:08:18,925
Hmm...
What?
199
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,326
Wonder how
Gary's working it?
200
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,595
What are we
talking about here,
201
00:08:21,628 --> 00:08:23,129
the iPad or the...
Or...
202
00:08:23,163 --> 00:08:24,598
Both.
Both?
203
00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:26,700
Curious as to
whether he had
204
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,301
one hand on his horn
and one on the iPad.
205
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:30,170
Because if he's pissing
hands?free,
206
00:08:30,203 --> 00:08:31,938
then he'd get the codes
typed in much faster.
207
00:08:31,972 --> 00:08:33,006
Oh, way faster.
208
00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:34,941
(SCOFFS) At least
twice as fast.
209
00:08:34,975 --> 00:08:36,176
Yeah, and he's
in a hurry for sure,
210
00:08:36,209 --> 00:08:37,343
'cause of the codes.
Yeah.
211
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,247
Jean?Claude.
212
00:08:41,281 --> 00:08:42,282
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
213
00:08:48,121 --> 00:08:49,623
Jean?Lance.
214
00:08:49,656 --> 00:08:50,757
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
215
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:51,925
(SPEAKING FRENCH
WITH AMERICAN ACCENT)
216
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:52,959
Jean?Claude...
217
00:08:54,728 --> 00:08:55,596
Jean?Lance...
218
00:08:55,629 --> 00:08:56,930
(SPEAKING FRENCH
WITH AMERICAN ACCENT)
219
00:08:56,963 --> 00:09:00,100
(ALL LAUGHING)
220
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,301
Go sit down
and drink your beer.
221
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:03,804
What if I don't?
222
00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:07,841
Well, then I'd have to
put my beer down.
223
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:11,878
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
224
00:09:14,114 --> 00:09:16,116
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
225
00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:48,181
(MUSIC INCREASES IN TEMPO)
226
00:10:11,304 --> 00:10:12,305
(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY)
227
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:14,941
You's got's a semi.
228
00:10:14,975 --> 00:10:15,909
(GROANS)
229
00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:17,477
Yep, don't lay down
for a nap on the couch
230
00:10:17,511 --> 00:10:19,212
without's a pillow
for your lap.
231
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:20,814
Probably didn't want me
walkin' in here
232
00:10:20,847 --> 00:10:22,082
seeing you all
half?torqued like that.
233
00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,216
Nope.
234
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:24,484
Probably no fun
for the dog
235
00:10:24,518 --> 00:10:25,886
to have to climb over
your thicksie's
236
00:10:25,919 --> 00:10:27,854
just to give you
a kiss in the face.
237
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,023
All right. Come on, girl,
why don't we go?
238
00:10:30,056 --> 00:10:32,793
Let's leave the half?blood
prince to his little sleeps.
239
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:40,967
Good nap?
240
00:10:42,168 --> 00:10:43,203
Great nap.
241
00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:44,237
Nap with me?
242
00:10:45,405 --> 00:10:47,040
Well, I just kind of had a nap.
243
00:10:48,008 --> 00:10:49,242
Then we don't need
to sleep.
244
00:10:50,143 --> 00:10:52,245
(GIGGLING) Okay.
245
00:10:53,346 --> 00:10:55,348
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
246
00:11:00,821 --> 00:11:03,089
Sure we can't convince you guys
to sign with the summer squad?
247
00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:05,191
I got a pen you can borrow.
You know the one.
248
00:11:05,225 --> 00:11:06,292
Take my
writing utensil.
249
00:11:06,326 --> 00:11:08,194
We got a big hole
at the center
250
00:11:08,228 --> 00:11:09,262
and it needs to be filled.
251
00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:11,331
Back end's tight, but we
need to be deeper up front.
252
00:11:11,364 --> 00:11:13,433
Let's talk depth.
Show you a thing or two.
253
00:11:13,466 --> 00:11:14,801
Join our energy line.
254
00:11:14,835 --> 00:11:15,869
Keep those
fuckin' feet moving.
255
00:11:15,902 --> 00:11:17,137
I'm so fuckin' serious
right now.
256
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:18,371
Daxi.
Ronsy.
257
00:11:18,404 --> 00:11:20,273
How about all the tail
around here, boys?
258
00:11:20,306 --> 00:11:21,908
Late June rush at the gymski.
259
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,344
It's all the college and
uni kids home for the summer.
260
00:11:24,377 --> 00:11:26,212
Home to work
their summer jobs.
261
00:11:26,246 --> 00:11:28,314
I got a job you can work.
Let's fuckin' do it.
262
00:11:28,348 --> 00:11:30,416
The gettin's gonna be good
for a couple of months ferda.
263
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:31,818
Summer's the goodest time
for gettin'
264
00:11:31,852 --> 00:11:33,854
and the gettin's
about to get got, get it?
265
00:11:33,887 --> 00:11:34,955
Got it.
Good.
266
00:11:34,988 --> 00:11:37,157
But what say
we make it interesting?
267
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:38,859
Oh, it's already
interesting.
268
00:11:38,892 --> 00:11:40,894
Jesus...
I'll say, boys.
269
00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:43,163
I'll say, I could
jerk off right here.
270
00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:44,230
I swear to fuckin' God.
271
00:11:44,264 --> 00:11:46,299
But tell me, are you two
looking to fall in love
272
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,400
or just fall in the sack?
273
00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:49,202
Buddy.
Sack.
274
00:11:49,235 --> 00:11:50,170
Thought so.
275
00:11:50,203 --> 00:11:51,872
Think you can fall in
more times than us?
276
00:11:53,139 --> 00:11:54,474
Fall in the sack?
Yeah.
277
00:11:54,508 --> 00:11:56,176
With girls?
Duh.
278
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:57,944
Like can we take down
more babes than you?
279
00:11:57,978 --> 00:12:00,480
Can you take down more babes
than we can take down dudes?
280
00:12:00,514 --> 00:12:02,949
I'm gonna jerk off right here,
I swear to fuckin' Christ.
281
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,150
Buddy, no contest.
282
00:12:04,184 --> 00:12:05,085
Save your money, boys.
283
00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,853
Are... Are you guys
like married though?
284
00:12:06,887 --> 00:12:08,021
We just wanted
to buy a house.
285
00:12:08,054 --> 00:12:09,089
Tax breaks there.
286
00:12:09,122 --> 00:12:11,157
We still smash
all sorts of ass.
287
00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:13,426
Never smashed
so much ass in my life.
288
00:12:13,459 --> 00:12:14,828
Cool.
Cool.
289
00:12:14,861 --> 00:12:16,196
So fuckin' cool.
290
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:17,430
But you're confident
you smash more?
291
00:12:17,463 --> 00:12:19,399
Girls?
Duh.
292
00:12:19,432 --> 00:12:21,101
Absolutely. First of all,
293
00:12:21,134 --> 00:12:23,003
there aren't that many
gay dudes in Letterkenny.
294
00:12:23,036 --> 00:12:24,070
You'd be surprised.
295
00:12:24,104 --> 00:12:26,940
Small town kids going
to school in the big city?
296
00:12:26,973 --> 00:12:28,341
Out of the small town,
297
00:12:28,374 --> 00:12:30,076
out of the closet, boys.
Mmm.
298
00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:34,247
And second,
we get like... Take downs.
299
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,951
Sometimes, wake up in the
morning and it's just like,
300
00:12:37,984 --> 00:12:39,019
start having
a take down.
301
00:12:39,052 --> 00:12:41,087
There's been like
a handful of times, actually,
302
00:12:41,121 --> 00:12:44,490
where I have to take a good look
in the mirror about take downs.
303
00:12:44,525 --> 00:12:45,526
REILLY: Sometimes,
304
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,562
during the middle of a take down
thoughts creep in.
305
00:12:49,663 --> 00:12:50,897
So, we got a deal?
306
00:12:50,931 --> 00:12:51,965
Yeah, deal, totally.
307
00:12:51,998 --> 00:12:53,534
Cool. Our total
take?down tally
308
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,636
versus your total
take?down tally.
309
00:12:55,669 --> 00:12:57,403
Deal.
What do the winners get?
310
00:12:57,437 --> 00:12:58,872
Case of beer?
Case of beer.
311
00:12:58,905 --> 00:13:00,974
Love a case of beer.
Deal. Case of beer.
312
00:13:01,007 --> 00:13:03,276
Here's to the opening
gay ceremonies, boys.
313
00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:05,278
Boys in for
the ceremonial fuck drop.
314
00:13:05,311 --> 00:13:08,048
I know a good horn section
for the event.
315
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:09,182
Why don't ya give it
a little toot?
316
00:13:09,215 --> 00:13:10,584
Come on,
give it a little blast.
317
00:13:10,617 --> 00:13:12,619
I'm gonna have sex
with some girls!
318
00:13:12,653 --> 00:13:16,523
ALL: Ferda!
319
00:13:16,557 --> 00:13:19,860
(GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
320
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:25,098
Bonnie.
Wayne.
321
00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:26,633
Hi there.
Hi, dare.
322
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,334
I'll have
the pinot noir, please.
323
00:13:28,368 --> 00:13:29,670
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Is that what you'll take, then?
324
00:13:29,703 --> 00:13:31,171
Not a good look, Bonnie.
325
00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:32,539
Beer?
326
00:13:32,573 --> 00:13:33,940
Please and thank you.
327
00:13:38,579 --> 00:13:40,346
She was being
a bit of a cow, eh?
328
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:43,183
That's McMurray's sister.
She comes by it honestly.
329
00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:44,150
She's pretty.
330
00:13:44,184 --> 00:13:46,520
Oh, she's a lovely girl,
for the most part.
331
00:13:46,553 --> 00:13:49,055
So much petty hostility between
English and French.
332
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,423
Yeah, it's a bit obnoxious,
isn't it?
333
00:13:50,456 --> 00:13:51,625
I'm glad
we agree on that.
334
00:13:51,658 --> 00:13:53,059
As long as we can also agree
335
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,595
that French toast
is a waste of time.
336
00:13:54,628 --> 00:13:56,062
So are
English muffins.
337
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,230
There ya go.
338
00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:02,402
I was thinking about the dude
339
00:14:02,435 --> 00:14:03,469
McMurray saw at the airport.
340
00:14:03,504 --> 00:14:05,205
There's a lot
to unpack there, eh?
341
00:14:05,238 --> 00:14:06,306
You're Gary.
Mmm?hmm...
342
00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:07,541
You're one of the four.
Mmm?hmm.
343
00:14:07,574 --> 00:14:10,544
Your secretary calls and says
the country needs the codes.
344
00:14:11,578 --> 00:14:13,313
It wouldn't be a secretary.
Eh?
345
00:14:13,346 --> 00:14:15,315
It'd be one
of the other three.
346
00:14:15,348 --> 00:14:17,050
I think you're right.
I'm for sure right.
347
00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:19,152
The other three wouldn't likely
trust Gary's secretary
348
00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:20,721
with news
of incoming projectiles.
349
00:14:20,754 --> 00:14:21,722
Marie?Fred, you don't trust
350
00:14:21,755 --> 00:14:23,690
the fuckin' secretary
with the projectiles.
351
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,191
The secretary wouldn't have
been sworn in
352
00:14:25,225 --> 00:14:26,527
like the other
government officials.
353
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,328
Who knows who
the secretary's working for?
354
00:14:28,361 --> 00:14:29,730
Secretary could be workin'
for anybody.
355
00:14:29,763 --> 00:14:32,265
There'd be protocol in place.
It would be in writing.
356
00:14:32,298 --> 00:14:34,267
That information
would be so classified.
357
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,302
You know how classified
that information would be?
358
00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:37,203
Super classified?
359
00:14:37,237 --> 00:14:39,239
One tier up.
It'd be ultra classified.
360
00:14:39,272 --> 00:14:40,306
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
361
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:41,341
Do you wanna know what?
362
00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:42,576
I'm just gonna come right out
and say it here.
363
00:14:42,609 --> 00:14:44,044
If I'm one of the four,
364
00:14:44,077 --> 00:14:46,112
I get that information
from the horse's mouth
365
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,514
or you're not getting
the codes.
366
00:14:47,548 --> 00:14:49,583
Wanna take about 20% off?
367
00:14:49,616 --> 00:14:51,552
Yeah, I'd take
about 20% off 'er.
368
00:14:51,585 --> 00:14:54,120
So, you're Gary.
Mmm?hmm.
369
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,021
One of the other three
370
00:14:55,055 --> 00:14:56,456
commanding government
officials says,
371
00:14:56,489 --> 00:14:58,559
"We need the codes. Stat.
Mmm?hmm. Mmm?hmm.
372
00:14:58,592 --> 00:15:01,528
"This is it, Gary.
Nuclear war!"
373
00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:03,764
Jesus Christ,
it's nuclear war.
374
00:15:03,797 --> 00:15:05,999
What do you do?
375
00:15:08,669 --> 00:15:10,003
I'd piss myself.
376
00:15:10,036 --> 00:15:11,171
Bingo.
I'd have to go,
377
00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:12,238
at the very least.
378
00:15:12,272 --> 00:15:13,139
Of course, you would.
379
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,440
I don't know
if I'd be able to hold it.
380
00:15:14,474 --> 00:15:16,276
But I'd be sayin',
"Whoa...
381
00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:18,211
"You'd better
fuckin' hold onto her."
382
00:15:18,244 --> 00:15:19,279
It's an appropriate
physical response
383
00:15:19,312 --> 00:15:20,647
to news
of incoming warheads.
384
00:15:20,681 --> 00:15:22,348
It'd be alarming.
385
00:15:22,382 --> 00:15:24,518
But let's not forget,
you're Gary.
386
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:25,752
Yeah. Yeah.
387
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,453
You've got responsibilities
if you're Gary.
388
00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:28,488
You've got the codes.
389
00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,423
Whole country's counting
on you if you're Gary.
390
00:15:30,456 --> 00:15:33,359
Women and children,
the elderly.
391
00:15:33,393 --> 00:15:36,362
So, you're Gary, you get
the call for the codes...
392
00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,031
You say holy shit...
You'd say holy shit...
393
00:15:38,064 --> 00:15:40,634
I'm gonna piss myself...
But it's nuclear war.
394
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:44,037
And despite nuclear war,
all this at stake,
395
00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:48,041
Gary's still pissing
while he puts in the codes.
396
00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:51,411
You wanna know what?
397
00:15:51,444 --> 00:15:52,378
What?
398
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:54,280
The washroom had to have
been right there.
399
00:15:54,314 --> 00:15:55,248
It had to have been
right there.
400
00:15:55,281 --> 00:15:57,150
He might already
have been in the washroom.
401
00:15:57,183 --> 00:15:58,251
I think he was
already in there.
402
00:15:58,284 --> 00:16:01,287
You're Gary, you're in
the washroom, you get the call,
403
00:16:01,321 --> 00:16:03,256
need the codes.
I'm gonna piss myself.
404
00:16:03,289 --> 00:16:06,126
And he got his iPad out
as fast as he got his dick out?
405
00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:08,094
He was for sure
already in the washroom.
406
00:16:08,128 --> 00:16:09,429
Might've already
been on the iPad.
407
00:16:09,462 --> 00:16:13,266
Well, that solves it!
It was a convenience thing then.
408
00:16:13,299 --> 00:16:15,769
You're Gary, you're in the
washroom, you get the call,
409
00:16:15,802 --> 00:16:17,538
need the codes.
"Well, I can get you the codes,
410
00:16:17,571 --> 00:16:18,639
"but I'm gonna piss myself."
411
00:16:18,672 --> 00:16:20,140
And he got the codes in,
412
00:16:20,173 --> 00:16:21,575
but didn't piss himself
because...
413
00:16:21,608 --> 00:16:24,711
BOTH: Because he was
already in the washroom.
414
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:25,646
Jesus Christ,
415
00:16:25,679 --> 00:16:27,347
the world could use
a couple of more Garys.
416
00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:29,550
I think we've sleuthed
it out, partner.
417
00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:31,351
Bless ya
for tryin' on "sleuth,"
418
00:16:31,384 --> 00:16:33,820
but, uh, yeah, I think we have
sleuthed it out, partner.
419
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:35,522
How's your French coming?
420
00:16:35,556 --> 00:16:38,825
Well... (SPEAKING FRENCH)
421
00:16:47,801 --> 00:16:49,836
The only thing is...
422
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:51,171
We'd know if there was
423
00:16:51,204 --> 00:16:52,238
a nuclear strike
that was intercepted.
424
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,707
Like, it'd be
in the news.
425
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:56,877
Ah, come on. That many
projectiles in the air?
426
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,411
Let's get real here.
427
00:16:58,444 --> 00:16:59,412
Warheads or not,
428
00:16:59,445 --> 00:17:01,347
we'd know about it.
Like, we'd know it happened.
429
00:17:01,381 --> 00:17:03,550
Yeah. The government
wouldn't want us to know,
430
00:17:03,584 --> 00:17:04,785
but someone would leak it.
431
00:17:04,818 --> 00:17:06,319
I'm looking
at the secretary.
432
00:17:07,621 --> 00:17:08,722
Beer for you, Wayne.
433
00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:09,823
Thank you, Bonnie.
434
00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,357
And da pinot noir for 'er.
435
00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:16,396
Ew. Too French.
436
00:17:16,429 --> 00:17:17,430
Bonnie...
437
00:17:17,463 --> 00:17:20,300
Why don't you go sit down
and drink your wine?
438
00:17:21,201 --> 00:17:22,302
What if I don't?
439
00:17:22,335 --> 00:17:25,506
(IN FUNNY ACCENT) Den I'd
have to put my wine down.
440
00:17:36,282 --> 00:17:38,484
It's bush
party season, boys.
441
00:17:38,519 --> 00:17:39,620
'Tis the season.
442
00:17:39,653 --> 00:17:41,287
Seasons greetings.
443
00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,156
You know, I'm gonna make
some Caesars with the girls
444
00:17:43,189 --> 00:17:44,558
and get geared up
for a gooder.
445
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:45,726
Oh, I'd have a Caesar.
446
00:17:45,759 --> 00:17:47,861
KATY: You can't really see
a Caesar and not want a Caesar.
447
00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:49,896
DAN: That's actually
how they market Caesars.
448
00:17:59,405 --> 00:18:00,741
Wayne?
449
00:18:00,774 --> 00:18:01,808
Dary.
450
00:18:01,842 --> 00:18:03,176
Can I bend your ear
about something?
451
00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:04,277
What are you, a bender?
452
00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,846
Good one.
Heard it from a cow.
453
00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:07,914
I know it's impolite
to kiss and tell, but...
454
00:18:07,948 --> 00:18:10,617
I wouldn't say
that's universal, but, okay.
455
00:18:14,788 --> 00:18:16,790
Between us girls.
Yeah, between us girls.
456
00:18:19,325 --> 00:18:21,161
You ever thrown
so much hip in your life?
457
00:18:27,801 --> 00:18:30,236
Between us girls?
Yeah. Between us girls.
458
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:31,705
I've never thrown
so much hip in my life.
459
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:35,208
How much hip
we talking?
460
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,142
I'm talkin'
like I'll be
461
00:18:36,176 --> 00:18:37,711
halfway through
a bowl of cereal and...
462
00:18:37,744 --> 00:18:38,779
Hip.
Oh, yeah.
463
00:18:38,812 --> 00:18:39,846
Oh, man.
464
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,314
Same for you?
Oh, yeah.
465
00:18:41,347 --> 00:18:42,482
Is that right?
466
00:18:46,587 --> 00:18:47,621
Between us girls?
467
00:18:47,654 --> 00:18:48,722
Of course,
between us girls.
468
00:18:50,624 --> 00:18:52,292
I feel like we met,
469
00:18:52,325 --> 00:18:53,459
I punched in
470
00:18:53,493 --> 00:18:54,561
and I haven't
punched out.
471
00:18:54,595 --> 00:18:56,362
Can I ask you
something?
472
00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:57,698
Of course,
good buddy.
473
00:18:57,731 --> 00:18:59,966
You feel like you're gettin'
any better at it?
474
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,367
I feel like I'm gettin'
a lot better at it.
475
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,736
Me too.
476
00:19:02,769 --> 00:19:04,571
And I kind of feel like
I was a bit of a novice
477
00:19:04,605 --> 00:19:05,706
with the whole thing before.
478
00:19:06,907 --> 00:19:08,675
I feel
that way, too.
479
00:19:08,709 --> 00:19:10,243
I feel like
with some of the gals
480
00:19:10,276 --> 00:19:11,845
I'd done some yessin'
with in the past,
481
00:19:11,878 --> 00:19:13,747
they might have thought,
"This guy's a dabbler."
482
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,249
Dary, that's exactly
how I feel.
483
00:19:16,282 --> 00:19:18,251
Like, I feel like they might
have seen me as a hopeful,
484
00:19:18,284 --> 00:19:19,753
at the very least.
485
00:19:19,786 --> 00:19:23,557
Or like, maybe I was just
apprenticing at the time.
486
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:25,726
I kind of feel like I might be
a bit of a headliner now.
487
00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:26,893
Really?
Oh, yeah.
488
00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:30,396
What are we talking, like
large theaters or stadiums?
489
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,899
Well, large theaters
for the time being.
490
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,768
But like, if you can
keep going at the rate
491
00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:36,803
you're going, you'll be
destined for, like...
492
00:19:36,837 --> 00:19:38,371
BOTH: Bigger venues. Yeah.
493
00:19:38,404 --> 00:19:39,573
That's exactly
how I feel.
494
00:19:39,606 --> 00:19:40,707
That's how
I feel, too.
495
00:19:41,775 --> 00:19:43,043
MARIE?FREDERIQUE:
Who wants a Caesar?
496
00:19:43,076 --> 00:19:44,878
Oh, I'd have
a Caesar.
497
00:19:44,911 --> 00:19:46,547
Can't see a Caesar and
not want a Caesar.
498
00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:48,481
ANIK: That's actually how
they market Caesars.
499
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,952
Is Stewart gonna DJ
this bush party?
500
00:19:51,985 --> 00:19:52,819
Wanna know what?
I haven't seen that
501
00:19:52,853 --> 00:19:54,855
fuckin' nut sac
in the longest time.
502
00:19:56,657 --> 00:19:57,924
I wonder where
he's off to.
503
00:19:57,958 --> 00:19:59,993
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
504
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:04,593
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