All language subtitles for Les Morfalous (1984) ENG. subs

Out of the car.

You may go now.

Retreat at once!

Stairs!

- Well, what do we do next?
- Continue the mission.

What about those heavy
losses we have suffered ...

Don't talk nonsense, soldier.

Heavy losses, you say?
Only 90% of us were wiped out.

For Warrant Officer Mahuzard,
anything then 100% is relative.

Do not you think that our relative losses...

...require an explanation?

There's your explanation.

Our mission is to seize the gold in this bank...

...load it into a truck
and get it safe to Sfax.

That's funny.

In the midst of war,

on crushed and the bombed-out area...

...we rob the bank.

Corporal Beral,
Colonial Army, Mercier Battery.

- And where is your battery?
- Completely destroyed, sir.

We more then held our own, and
even staved off three attacks.

We demolished a tank
before a Stuka bomber hit us.

The bastard
was flying law when he fired.

I eneded up on my ass in the street.

Ever been pelted by a Stuka?

- It's a nightmare.
- Yes, it's a effective aircraft.

We could've used a few.

Listen to me.

Screw the Krauts, they don't impress me.
We can pin their balls to the wall,

but our weapons are in the truck.

I'll crawl there after dusk.

But I'll need a help.

Well, gentlemen,
who is coming with me?

Thanks.

Not so long ago with the words:
"Volunteers - a step forward," -

All legionaries made a step.

Times have changed, Edouard.
You mean, Mr. Sergeant.

Times have changed, sergeant,
Foreign Legion soldiers, too.

That's right, Mr. Sergeant.
Take a look at the street.

30 soldiers killed in 2 minutes.

They have changed all right...

Shut up.

What do the artillerymen think?

- What do they think?

Nothing at all.
I am not a Legionnaire.

This doesn't concern me.

If you want to know,
I was about to be discharged.

Discharged? Imagine that!
What for?

Well ... I have to go nonstop, sir.

Go where?

Well ...

I think I have dysentery.

- Do you mean diarrhea?
- No, diarrhea - a liquid poop.

Byt dysentery is a
medically recognized term.

Aren't you acting stupid?

Attention!

When addressing to the superior,

asume the proper stance
and refer to him by his rank:

Aren't you acting stupid,
Sergeant Augagneur?

At ease.

- What is he doing?
- He does not know.

We can't control him at night,
he's someone else.

Yes, but why that greas?

He always puts make-up,
before going out.

What should your epitaph say, sir?

Something like ...

"Warrant Officer Mahuzard,

1st Battalion, Foreign Legion,

died a heroic death

when trying to find a way
from a hopeless situation? "

This is a civilian position. In the war
a situations is never desperate.

And that's final!

- Ready Borzik?
- Yes.

Careful, it's all that's left.

Do me a favor, Borzik.

Of course.

If you come across Captain Schlotzer,
spit on him.

Augagneur, I forbid you to insult
superiors, period.

He claimed there were no Krauts
left in El Ksour.

I can still hear him saying,
"Sergeant, this is not a combat operation,

it's administrative escort.

Tonight, we will screw
the Sfax hookers."

Dunno if we'll get there.

but I know who is getting screwed.

Stop bothering the others!

And that's final.

Any idea how much gold is in there?

I've heard Schlotzer say six.

- Six of what?
- Six billion. In gold bullion.

What will six billion buy you?

Nothing.

It's great' cause...

...it allows you to do nothing.

There they are!.

The flare.

Fire.

Stop it, it's useless.

Now they'll spot us!

Well, we are back to square one.

Actually, we're out of cartidge clips.

It doesn't matter,
we'd need a cannon to take them.

We have one.
Wasn't your battery destroyed?

Yeah, but not our cannon,
it works just fine.

- Where is it?
- On the other side, in the fortress.

- Less than 400 meters from here.
- Did you hear Boissier?

He says, not even 400 meters.

Burzik and Mahuzard weren't able
to cover 50, you moron!

They ran out of ammunition.

Send over two men!

Hans. Werner.

We could surrender.

Might sound simplistic, but ...

Nothing wrong with your idea,

but Legionnaires never bail out.

- Since when?
- Since Camerone.

April 30, 1863.

God ...

In my dreams, the cops
hailed me at the Champs Elysess

and I screwed the collaborators' wives.

Looks like we'll end up being cooked
in the hot sand instead...

as in Piaf's song.

Damn. The Germans.

There are only two of them.

You'd think
they'd take us more seriously.

They've been gone 20 minutes.

There they are.

- I have the willies!
- It's just an illusion!

You are an SS now,
a fearless kiling machine!

Look ahead of you.
Stand up straight and think "Adolf."

Stop this B.S.!

Bastard.

Breathing easier now, sir?

Sometimes it is better to meet with a bad
Frenchman than a good German.

Exactly.

It's all over.

- So what?
- It's over there.

Another 200 meters.

They have time to kill us 200 times.

- Well, stay here.
- One more, one less, who cares, right?

It's like a small change.

You lost 30 men at one time this morning!

Since you're so brave,
do it on your own!

Listen...

- Beral, can you hear me?
- I hear you fine.

We're both going up there.

We need Legionnaires and artillerymen!

Do you remember this song?
How did it go?

"When the gunner from Maisse
leaves his garrison,

All women of Maisse
go to the balcony".

Come on.

Well, Beral.

Show me what you can do.

I am confident that you know
how to handle this beauty.

Not at everything,
but I know you're good at this.

I'll try.

Take your time, concentrate!

You have to play with the air bubble.
It's tough to calibrate.

Just do it! Take your time,
but make sure we don't miss!

We'll make minced meat out of them...

...then couscous meatballs.

I love couscous.

When the war ends,
I'll give you couscous.

There is a cafe in Alma Bridge, you know?

- No. At the Place de Clichy, "Nicole."
- Okay, we'll go to the Place de Clichy.

Just don't screw this up!

- Let's hurry.
- You told me to take my time.

But not all night.

Fire back!

Fire, Beral.

Listen, does your friend in Alma
put chicken in his couscous?

That'd be a sacrilege!
My friend adds chicken.

What a fool, however,
I'm not surprised.

Well, be unpleasant.

Fourth company. Answer.

Captain Ulrich Dieterle here.

Know why he'll go along with this?

Because he's intelligent,
which makes him realistic.

I'm sure he's already
thought all of this out.

He was the first
to enter the bank last night.

- Right Beral?
- Yes.

Talking about me?
Our warrant officer.

About you, about ourself.
And what we plan to do.

About the future.

- The future is important.
- Take Boissier here.

He wants to open a hotel
on the Cote d'Azur.

Yes.

But someone like you might be more interested
in a agricultural project.

Invest in a beet farm, maybe.

- What do you mean, I have no money.
- Well, yes... of course.

No money, he says!

Divide $6 billion into four!

Can you multiply 12 bullets times three insted?

Maybe you should calculate otherwise.

It's my way and that's final!

Lay down your weapons,
that's an order.

No more orders, Mahuzard.

And no more sergeant or warrant officer.

We buried our stripes in the morning
together with the dead comrades.

Now we are a cooperative.

- You know what this is?
- Are you familiar with the term "firing squad"?

At this point, Edouard,
I'm in charge of the firing squad.

You've been out in the sun too long!

You bastards actually expect me
to help you rob the bank?

You commit rush acts before you join
the Legion, not after!

Let me remind you once more,
I'm not a Legionnaire.

Listen to me carefully.
You know what it's called.

This is a robbery.

Mahuzard, you don't know
what you're talking about.

A robbery means violence, masks and guns,

We're not aiming any weapons at anyone
or uttering threats.

But we'll grab France's gold
before the Germans steal it.

Surely you appreciate
our patriotic fervor!

And how are you going to
open the safe, idiots?

Can opener? Corkscrew?

I'll be frank, Edouard.
It's not polite to mock us.

It is not polite.

I'd lost all hope of seeing you.

The city's been evacuated.

I was headed to Luxor.
You arrived on time.

Yes, my name is Francois La Roche Freon.

I am the director of the bank.
What is left of it.

Warrant Officer Manuzard,
First Batallion, Foreign Legion.

What is left of it.

We'll convoy your gold reserve
to the home front.

And where would the home front be?

For the Germas, Sfax.
Yes... I'm joking.

Of course, I know,
but I waiting for someone else ...

...Captain Schlotzera.

I called it correctly?

He fell under the German bullets.

- We heard the gunfire.
- They got us.

- Last nigt artillery shots?
- We got them!

- These are the soldiers' stories.
- Do not use this word for yourself.

You are no longer soldiers,
You're thieves, robbers.

There he goes again.
The man is obsessed.

Mahuzard is a former firebrand.
He took Narvik in Norway, Trondheim.

He smoked opium and slept with everyone.

He has to watch it.
- Mr. Freon,

These men have only one thing in mind:

- Legionnaire!
- Sergeant!

For having made detrimental
antimilitarist statements,

Warrant Officer Mahuzard will be arrested.
Lock him up!

- Where?
- The toilet in the basement, anywhere.

Come here, you bastard.
Face me, you faggot!

Have you heard this guys?
What is gotten into him?

Afraid to put aside your weapon?
Imagine that!

Do you think I need a riffle
to wallop a country bumpkin!

- Soldier!
- Yes, sergeant?

Sit your ass down.
And don't move!

- And if he tries to break the door?
- Fire a warning shot.

- And if he breaks it?
- Shoot him!

Yes, sir.

Mr. Director,
Now where were we?

But I think ...

the warrant officer ...

- Do you mean the prisoner?
- If you ... If you want to, yes.

I thought that the prisoner
more or less called you a thief...

- You believed him?
- Well, actually ...

In any case, the situation
has changed considerably.

Here's what happened.

A captain orders Legionnaires
to travel to El Ksour,

so they can escort gold to the home front.

Two: the captain is killed.

Three: the warrant officer loses his mind.

Four: I'm second in command,
Sergeant Augagneur.

Five: Mr. la Roche Freon
opens the safe.

You see, Sergeant, in our
society there are people...

...who protect banks
and the people who robbed them.

I belong to the first category of people.

And I'm afraid it's too late
to change it.

This kid starts to act on my nerves.
How about you?

- A little.
- Let's see how commited he is.

Watch this.

We don't want to splatter the sergeant.

Hurry up, move!

Talk!

If you don't before I count to 10,
I'll blow your head off.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Damn.

Do not promise when you can't deliver.

Tell me, Sergeant.
Is there any grub?

Boissier was going to
cook brains.

- This is my wife. Impatient.
- She was here all the time?

Madame sat in the car
and you have not told us?

Sergeant, for your information,
my wife doesn't know the combination.

Really.

Good day, Madame.

Sergeant Augageur, 1st Battalion,
Foreign Legion.

Hélène la Roche Freon.
Is my husbad almost finished?

It's hard to say.

A moment ago,
he had gun to his head.

and if I did not keep my subordinate...

...right now you'd be a widowed woman.

In principle, I would not be disappointed.
And what's the problem?

The events so quickly replaced
each other, that I got confused.

The warrant oficer shouted "Thief"!

Your husband said:
"I'm guarding the bank."

A soldier drew his gun and said:

"I'm going blow his head off"!

I'm quoting.
And then - the sound of a horn.

Your husband said: "This is my wife."

I said, "Do not worry;
I'll take care of it. "

Well, now.

Sergeant.

Ask Madame whether she
she'd happen to have...

...some smoked salmon or a pork pie?

Or even lobster Thermidor...

...something to feed a few brave soldiers?

Get in.

Please wait for me in there.
I'll take some food from the cupboard.

Know what I think, Sergeant Augagneur
of the Foreign Legion?

I want to tell you something?

- What?
- My husband is so stubborn.

The fact that you put a gun
to his head, does not surprise me.

This man always says - no!

Just some kind of disease.

The only time in my life,
when he should have said "no"

he said "yes",

10 years ago in the town hall
at our wedding.

I'm afraid I don't have lobster Thermidor,

but would cassoulet, corned beef and wine
make everyone happy?

Perfect.

And if you happen to remember
the vault's combination, we'd be even happier!

My dear Sergeant Augagneur,

First Battalion, Foreign Legion,

is that what you came here for?

No, I came her for two reasons,
and that was the first.

I had something else in mind,
but it won't be easy.

Feasible, but not easy.

Where the hell is he?
Screw her!

Augagneur's screwing her!

What are you talking about?
What do you mean?

I mean, the sarge is humping Madame Freon.

I can not even describe
what is happening there.

You have no right to say so.
How do you know?

How do I know? Yes, everyone knows that.

Since Augagneur joined the Legion,

all the wives of cuckolds
have been fed the same line:

Raised on the streets of Paris, Gavroche,

secondary school in the district
Levallois-Perret,

the reception center on Anatole France Street ...

And then - bang - they come
Nazis and the ruin the country:

They appoint a commander in his district,

the Roxy Palace becomes "Soldierten Kino"!

Are you there, Beral?

I once heard him whining about
his school playground,

having sex with wife of police
prefect of the city of Constantine.

That's bastard's got some nerve!

It's his greatest asset.

I was shocked.

One day the Krauts invaded Lavallois-Perret,

They set up shop in the reception center
on Anatole France St.

They rebaptised the Roxy Palace
"Soldierten Kino"!

It made my blood boil.

I didn't care how determined they were.

But I knew one thing for sure:

When they landed in Lavallois,

they dumped on me, Augagneur,
born at the 18 Anatole France St.

That's when I decided I'd...

...send them back by express post...

...to Krautland, or wherever.

- So you joined the Legion?
- Yes, ma'am.

Why the Legion?
It's so tough.

The Legion is respectable.

That was Edith Piaf
performing L'Accordeoniste.

- Beral, can you hear me?
- Yes, what you want?

Nothing, I'm fine, but aren't you
doing something dopey?

Guard's aren't dopes, sir, jailbirds are.

I've never felt wiser.

Say, wise guy!

You do not think you are a fool,

that the African gold somehow
become yours to keep?

You must be dreaming.

You know, dreams are a private matter.

The Berals have been butchers for generations,

so we dream of the butcher shop
With this gold, it would be super-store.

I already know where it will be...

Outside of Francois 1er St..

Shining chrome and nickel,

On the floor white marble,
and the ceiling designed by Houdinu,

the renowned animal painter.

It'll have cows, calves, ship

And the head of my wife,
Mrs. Emilienne Beral.

Not on the ceiling, of course.
At the cash register.

And she'll be the Empress of our Meat Court.

After the armistice, you'll drop in and say hello,
won't you?

- How old is your wife?
- 29.

That's good, she will be able to
make a fresh start.

In what sense?

In the sense that all wars eventually end,

and that when I drop in to see you,

it won't be in a meat court,
it'll be in a court of law.

Have you ever heard of
the Military Tribunal?

No.

How about the Military Code of Justice?

No.

Desertion and plotting
in the presence of the enemy.

Insulting behavior, assault and battery
towards his superiors.

Theft with breaking and entering.

Add it all up...
You'll get the death penalty...

but live on in infamy.

One morning at dawn,
they'll wake you up in your cell.

They'll drag you to the area behind the prison.
Blindfold you.

And then you will hear...

Ready!

Aim!
Fire!

Are you there?

Yes, sir...
Yes.

Forgot to say.

Most of the time you're not even dead.

You're full of holes,
but not quite dead yet!

Then comes the deathblow,

a point-blank shot below the ear.
Like they do in slaughterhouses.

You know all about that, eh?

Is there anything else?

Immediately after the execution,
squad marches past the corpse.

But do not care anymore.

Damn. Very close!

I can not see.

Let's go to the second floor,
there is better view.

Helen.

- Helen.
- In my opinion, he is calling you.

- You know him?
- Of course.

- They were sitting on my head for two months.
- Well, you look tough.

Helen.

Helen.

Helen.

My favorite.

Stop it!

Are you crazy?

I'll put up with your hijinks on the balconies,

and I threw you silken ladder

but not the artillery shots!
Your Teutonic pranks...

might amuse your generals,
but not me!

My generals?
They're all gone..

To hell with them.

I drove 200 km,
to see you, Madame Freon.

- Are you happy?
- Very much so.

So give me a kiss.

You know, I've been thinking
about the gold you discussed with me.

You're right, we can not leave it there.

Don't worry, we don't intend
to leave it there.

- Who is this guy?
- A friend.

Sergeant Augagneur, First Battalion,
Foreign Legion.

Oberleutnant Karl Brenner,
21st Panzer Division.

Pardon.

Oberleutnant, if you please,
hands behind his back.

Say

Once you open the vault,

if you do, where'll you go with the gold?

I do not know. Niger or Libya.

But where'll you hide it?
Bury under some tree?

Do you really think I'm such a fool?
I'll find a place too.

Say you do...

But like all works of art and pedigree animals,

gold has a verifiable history,

do not forget about it.

The bars are numbered,
which will be known to banks and police.

You'll have to wait before
you put it in circulation.

A long time, maybe.

Yu will dream of the life of a billionaire...

...but live like a pauper.

You'll get fed up.

To stay alive, you'll tell your story
to the whores and barmen.

After six months or a year they will find
your body with his throat cut...

in a cave in Khartoum or Benghazi.

That had a positive spin.
Any other scenarios?

When my husband worked in Tunis,

We met Bob Turner.

The guy you mentioned to me?

I'm not mentioning him to you now!

Bob Turner is in Lebanon now.

Money is his specialty.

In certain circles he is called "Bleach."

This means that he can launder
gold in the same way

he launders money for
Mafia for all these years.

When the yellow metal
become a green paper,

will only divide them into 3 parts.

- It's between whom and by whom?
- Between Turner, you and me.

- What about my buddies?
- Comrades, as you called them

According to the law,
your "buddies" are accomplices.

If there's a trouble, accomplices
become witnesses.

- And we do not need witnesses.
- Do you want to eliminate everybody?

- Everybody.
- Tell me... And your husband too?

- I told you - everybody.

What's wrong?

The more I look at you,
the less I understand,

How a woman like you,
whose brains are like ass

can invent something like that?

Guys, I brought something to eat.
Just set the table.

Prepare the cell for a new prisoner.

- We were very worried, dear.
- There was really no need to worry, dear.

Something I do not understand.

Who is guarding who?
Where's Boissier?

Boissier is in the basement.

Hands behind your head or I'll shoot.

As for me, it is impossible task.

- Where did you find him?
- Oberleutnant Karl Brenner

21st Panzer Division.

Under what circumstances
you were captured?

I met him on the road, he asked me if I knew
an officer named Mahuzard.

I said that I know.
He asked, "Really?"

I said, "Sure." It seems
at the Military Academy know about you.

Screw you!

You're gonna shut your trap
and crawl into your cell.

You piss everybody off.

You go first.

Wait a minute.

Forgot to tell you, Beral.
You know who you are?

Slug.

Shit.

Gunner.

Tell him about the deathblow, sir.

You didn't feed him those tired lines?

Of course. I told him about
Military Tribunal...

...while you tod her
about Anatole France St.

So fair is fair.

Stop.

Get in.

So what do you think
about all this?

It can only get better!

Thing is, why would the Kraut
return to El Ksour?

Do not worry about it, Beral.

- What will happen to Augagneur?
- Why should you care?

Do not make me repeat
what he said about you.

Yaeh, like this is all my fault...

Do not pay attention to it.

Warrant officers,
who were once considered heroes,

are becoming Freudian figures.

He's not mad at you,
he's mad at the sergeant.

Capturing a wildcat is no mean feat!

Not so long ago,
you said he was a vulture.

Just get this straight.
You have my respect, sir,

but discussing him with a civilian
burns me up.

When he was in charge
of anti-tank unit,

I saw him perform some incredible things.

He performed admirably this morning.

- A super stew, yes, Beral?
- Yes, real good.

I'm sorry, I didn't heat it up.

I've been eating cold meals for 10 years.

Except for yesterday, when you were
having dinner with that bimbo.

Think they care?

Of course they do, darling.

You must know my husband never lacks
of entertainment.

First, there's the bridge games
at the engineer's house...

This must be about Gilberte.
- Gilberte and Jean-Pierre.

You see, gentlemen,

All my husband's mistresses,
are usually my lover's wifes.

Where is the wine, Corporal?

Right here, sir

Maybe you though we lived like bourgeois of Passy.

In fact, our life together is much more exotic.

Hold on to your hats...

...we're going from Money Blvd. to bamboo huts.

Helen, I think, enough already.

You should've ended it 10 years ago.

Dear soldiers, what would clients think...

...if they knew that the president of the
Northern Africa Banks Group

forces his wife to engage in
prostitution in the local neighborhood?

My dear child, sice we're now
into public confessions...

...wouldn't those streets
remind you of your former profession?

Nice.

Very nice.

- Where are you going, madam?
- To the basement.

If the prisoners die of starvation, they
can not appear in the court.

Got it. But prisoners are no hotel guests.
That's too much.

Hey, Romeo

Did you know that your Juliet
likes to walk the streets?

- He is talking to you.
- Who is?

- Some vice squad jerk.
- Tell him to go...

Speaking of which...

...it seems you were sensational this morning.
- The grub...

You can shove the food
up your ass, old man.

But as soon as I get out the door,
you pounce on it.

You'll see.

When they put you away,
you'll miss old man Mahuzard's cassoulet.

When you get thirsty,
just piss in the jar.

And you can just piss off!

Look.

You see, it was really a good morning.

VAULT

Go get the armored truck.

- Hey, stop dreaming.
- Ah? Yes.

Remove the tracks.

You should drive ahead of us...

..so we will see everything.

In case, if something happens
with the machine, or things will fall ...

We don't need trash like that.

I'm referring to the items in the car.

- Well, let's go?
- Yes, in a minute.

God!

What's wrong with him?

He must have peed on that high-voltage line,
that's all!

It happened so fast,
that he did not feel anything.

Nothing at all...

For the first time his dick
showed sparks of life.

We can't leave him here.

Listen carefully, Mahuzard.

Boissier will climb aboard the truck.

If you keep your cool,
everything will be okay.

Do we have a deal?

Send him. You'll see.

Go, Boissier.

Well, with only three
eyewitnesses,

as you call them.

Three is bad luck.
We need an even number.

My big mistake was
sending Boissier.

I never thought Mahuzard would shoot.

Yes thought my husband
wouldn't guard the vault.

You thought Beral would watch Mahuzard.

And you thought Mahuzard would stay cool.

Because you keep goofing up...

...now you're forced to trust him.

What have you decided?
What shall we do next?

Nothing has been decided, yet.

Helen believes that we need to get rid of you.

- I hope you disagree.
- I haven't made up my mind yet.

Maybe this will help you to think.

The Americans are here,
while the French and British,

are closer to Tunis.

At the top are Italians,
and here - the Afrika Korps.

They are retreating, but they can not be
discounted, believe me.

Let's go to the south, and if we
lucky, pass along this...

...mountainous region, we'll pass right under
Rommel's nose and rich Betahoua.

And there, my friend...

I introduce you to the
world's biggest jerk.

Alcide Kalouande.
Ever hear of him?

- You mean the visionery of Buganda?

He cinvinced two million followers

and witch doctors in French-speaking
West Africa...

...that one day he'd go to Heaven
while he was living.

While everyone awaits
the Ascension, he keeps busy.

Five years ago, he started manufacturing hosts.

His churches were packed,
his followers took Communion.

Know what was in the hosts?

Cocaine.

- Now you trust me?
- I must admit, it's encouraging.

In other words, forget about Turner?

Turner is 3000 miles away.

What about fuel, you bitch?

Could you ask your chauffeur
to mind his language?

After all, he is coming as our chauffeur,
and not as a partner, right?

This is entirely up yo you.

Luckily, you showed up!

KILL HIM. LOVE, HELENE

- And why you did not do this?
- I probably would have done.

But just like you,
I haven't made up my mind yet.

This is a crucial moment,
but not a time for soft-heartedness.

Mrs. la Roche Freon,
you did your share of the work.

You got your piece of cake.

My piece?
This is my share?

You took 10,000 kg of gold.

And I have left only with 300 kg.
And this is my piece of cake, you bastard?

Must we always discuss money?

We will travel deep into the Dark Continent.

Land of the caiman and the tsetse fly.

In my opinion, it is inappropriate
place for a young lady.

- I'm ready.
- Sorry, the service calls.

Here we go. Go on.

Fuck you.

Go to hell, you friggin' fags,
you dirty bastard,!

I hope you die!

Die!

Shit!

The hell with her personality...

I just happen to like her ass.

Maybe we should've brought her along.

- Tell me about the occupation of El Ksour.
- Helene never told you?

I am asking you!

If I was not afraid to offend you...

I would say that was a successful occupation.

You guys have lost that habit.
When did you last visit Paris?

- Foyr years ago.
- I was there three weeks ago.

In the dismissal.
You don't mind talking about this?

No, all right.
So how was Paris?

Paris is Paris.

The Follies Bergeres... Promenade ...

Maurice Chevalier... Place Pigalle
and wham bam, thank you, ma'am!

Helen was right.
I should've shoot you.

Long rows of German
and Italian prisoners...

anticipated a quick victory.

At that time, as the 8th Army
controls the fortification's southern tip...

to the north, British 9th unit

and France's 19th unit are
mounting their final assault.

This was our 9th information bulletin.

How do they say,
"wham bam" in Berlin?

I think we will be there soon.

You should have told me about Berlin.

We're going the wrong way.

While we wait,

it would be nice to have a nap.

I'll be on duty first.
When do I wake you up?

You can sleep first if you like...

I'm not really tired.

My friend Pierrot, you do not think
I'm going to kill you while you asleep?

Did I say something
to make you think that?

Okay, you're right.
We'll rest, then continue.

And anyway, it's time to make
an action plan for the night.

The engine really roars,
we should be riding camels.

Look, here ...

This is where the German units all refuel.

You shouldn't be here,
in case they inspect the tank.

- Get out now.
- Then?

I'll pick you up just outside camp.

Sure... And if you don't,
I'll start hitch-hiking

"You wouldn't happen to be going
to Lavallois, sir?"

- You do not trust me?
- Who are you kidding?

I trust everyone, Karl.

But if you suddenly decide to rejoin
the 21st Panzer Division...

and to dupe Augagneur the Legionnaire,

Your friend Pierrot will break your face.

Excuse me, sir,
There must be a mistake.

The tank with the number 215 should be...

in the area of Hammamet.

That's very far away!

- I'm on a special mission.
- Mission papers, please.

The mission is top-secret.
There're no papers.

Wait here...

I'll be right back.

Get me Headquarters.
21st Panzer Division.

You're crazy.

- Do you speak French?
- A little.

That's enough.

- What do you plan to do?
- You'll soon find out, gramps.

Now listen!
The TNT you are carrying...

can blow up half the camp and all of you.

Now you going to get back out there,
go the end of the walkway,

stop... and shout to your men:

"It's all right."

I warn you, I know how to say in German
"all right" -

"Ales ordung institute."

While you will go, I will
aim at the back or buttocks.

And if you say something else ...
Bach.

Ba-boom.

Fershteyen?

You obviously understood me.

Now go!

Ales ordung them.

Shit!
The sea shouldn't be here!

Wanna translate this?

If I'd jumped on the tank when you
conveniently forgot to stop,

you wouldn't have the pleasure...

of seeing me now, Karl.

What were you muttering to yourself?

I was saying this can't be right,
the sea should be beind us.

You want the sea to be behind you?
You swing the map around, or...

you swing the tank around...

which is what I plan to do.

Only without you.

Get down or I'll shoot.

- What now?
- For you the war is over.

You are discharged.

Now hand over your uniform...

as a token of our true friendship.

Stop it. Are you crazy or what?

The next time, I won't stop!

No, no... The cross too.

You're making a big mistake.

No one can see this out alone.

But I'm not alone.

So who is your partner?

Your friend Alcide.
Alcide Kalouande.

Bastard!

Really.

I leave you in the sun
on the most beautiful beach in Africa,

as I carry out my grueling mission,
yet I'm a bastard?

I've heard enough!

Batavia, 75 km

- You got the gold?
- You got the cash?

- Yes.
- Where?

In a real vault in a real city

with real money in real bank.

Excellent.

How do we do this?

I see Karl couldn't make it.

- Too bad, I liked him.
- He was equally fond of you.

He said once we got to Betahoua,

he'd introduce me to Alcide Kalouande,

the world's biggest jerk!

- He said Alcide Kalouande?
- He said Alcide Kalouande!

- Are you disappointed?
- No. Surprised.

The name just doesn't jibe
with an American accent.

You think your uniform
jibes with a Belleville accent?

- Honesty knows no boundaries.
- Exactly.

I'll be back tomorrow morning.

- Half in cash, the rest...
- No, all in dollars!

American dollars, a thermos bottle of tea
and three croissants.

I'm a heavy sleeper,
so knock heavily if you want to wake me.

Either that, or draw near
and try sounding like a $100.00 note!

O-Okay, I'll be back.

Sergeant Augagneur,
First Battalion, Foreign Legion!

Order arms!

At ease!

Forward, march!

Sergeant Augagneur.

Mr. General.

Madame Chanterelle, here is our hero,
Sergeant Augagneur.

Mr. Chanterelle.

President of the Northern Africa Banks Group.

We're greatly indebted to you, sergeant.

In fact, dear, we're indebted to him
to the sum of $6 billion.

Well, almost.

I'm not into money,
so that amount sounds staggering.

General, I hope the sergeant
has been justly rewarded.

That'll be up to the civilians.

Military personnel either honor or punish.

And what will be his punishment?

This will be announced tomorrow
at the military front.

"The Legion's Sgt. Augagneur
is mentioned in dispatches

for his feat of arms

at El Ksour,

during which he risked death

to safeguard France's assets.

His courageous behavior ...
Yes?

Excuse me, General.

Would be possible instead of "courageous"
put "heroic"?

- Mom would be proud of me.
- As you wish.

His heroic behavior
radically changed the situation,

in which the fate of our soldiers
was practically sealed."

Thank you, General.

Sergeant Pierre Augagneur...

You have a nice French name.

- You come from Paris?
- Even better, madam.

I'm from Lavallois.

- You know Anatole France St.?
- Yes, I've heard of it.

Remember Roxy Palace?
We lived upstairs...

where King Kong roared in our dining room!

And when Hitler used it to house Krauts,

my blood began to boil!

It was time to defend my honor
and my country!

So you joined the Legion?

The Legion was respectable.

- Allow me to look at an honest man, sergeant.

- They're rather rare around here.

- The only banker I knew died prematuraly.

- His wife was ravishing!
- Did you mean, "That banker's wife was ravishing"?

- No, I meant, "His wife was ravishing, too".

- Whatever became of her?

- It's very sad.

Her husband, whom she loved dearly,
died tragically.

She has since become
the "Desert Madwoman."

She wanders through the desert,
spouting nonsense.

She mistook me for another.

- What do you mean?

She claimed some Legionnaire...

captured the German tank and wanted to...

swindle gold that belonged to a French bank!

It's obvious she's a full-blown lunatic.

But we must do something.
Should I tell the General?

No, ma'am.
He can't help her. She needs a doctor.

Shooting her wouldn't help,
she needs to be treated...

- Sergeant Pierre Augagneur?
- Yes, madam?

There's an aura of mystery about you.

Now... A marauder?
A kind-hearted wildcat?

Or simply a romantic?

- Who are are really?
- You want to know who I am?

I WAS THE WORLD'S RICHEST MAN
BUT GOLD WAS MY DOWNFALL.

Courtesy of YAFI
(JAGA BKS)