Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:08,255
Oh, I hate when they're all locked up.
2
00:00:08,293 --> 00:00:09,622
Me too.
3
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:10,831
I've already asked the lady.
4
00:00:10,870 --> 00:00:12,300
Oh, great, thank you.
5
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:44,931
[RETAIL WORKER] Hi!
6
00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:46,430
Hope you haven't been waiting long.
7
00:00:46,448 --> 00:00:47,828
Oh, no, all good.
8
00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:49,306
[RETAIL WORKER] Which ones
were you looking for?
9
00:00:49,345 --> 00:00:50,474
You were here first, you go ahead.
10
00:00:50,473 --> 00:00:51,503
- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:51,522 --> 00:00:53,611
Could I just get the black ones?
12
00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:56,709
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
13
00:00:56,706 --> 00:01:00,896
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
14
00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:14,208
Daddy, we need bread, eggs and apples.
15
00:01:14,205 --> 00:01:16,275
Wait, did you just read that?
16
00:01:16,313 --> 00:01:17,603
- Yep.
- Ooh!
17
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:21,110
You are really reading, you
are like a real reader,
18
00:01:21,107 --> 00:01:23,906
- this is a big deal, bubs.
- It's a huge deal.
19
00:01:23,904 --> 00:01:25,843
But unfortunately we will have to start
20
00:01:25,842 --> 00:01:28,162
shrinking your brain,
so Mike, grab her head.
21
00:01:28,199 --> 00:01:29,519
- Yep, got it.
- No!
22
00:01:29,537 --> 00:01:32,236
Alright, get it, get it,
get it, get it, get it!
23
00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:34,173
Also please get dressed.
24
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,901
I can't believe that, that's amazing.
25
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,039
I know, right?
26
00:01:37,038 --> 00:01:38,528
I mean, she was actually like reading
27
00:01:38,547 --> 00:01:39,906
a real book this morning
28
00:01:39,905 --> 00:01:42,125
and she didn't just memorize
the words in the right order,
29
00:01:42,142 --> 00:01:44,901
like I tried to fuck with her
and skipped a few pages,
30
00:01:44,899 --> 00:01:46,499
she was onto me.
31
00:01:46,597 --> 00:01:47,936
She is lucky to have you.
32
00:01:47,936 --> 00:01:49,535
We've gotta get her a couple
of books for that drive
33
00:01:49,534 --> 00:01:50,864
- to Santa Barbara.
- When are we going
34
00:01:50,872 --> 00:01:52,601
- to Santa Barbara?
- You know, in two weeks
35
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,790
for the long weekend.
36
00:01:53,829 --> 00:01:54,989
Oh, you didn't tell me.
37
00:01:55,147 --> 00:01:56,307
We talked about it
38
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,935
at that horrible fundraiser
thing, remember.
39
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:01,463
Oh, so Brian knows about
the trip to Santa Barbara?
40
00:02:02,528 --> 00:02:05,318
Yes, you were not there.
41
00:02:05,415 --> 00:02:07,664
Well, I'd love to ask you a question.
42
00:02:07,662 --> 00:02:09,261
- Go for it, what's up?
- Would you like to go
43
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:10,329
to Santa Barbara in two weeks?
44
00:02:10,329 --> 00:02:12,509
Oh, sounds lovely, sure.
45
00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:13,947
- Sorry.
- That makes me feel better about
46
00:02:13,965 --> 00:02:15,745
forgetting to tell you
about my work retreat.
47
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,359
- What, what's happening?
- This?
48
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:23,166
- Yeah.
- It's just me adorably waving to you,
49
00:02:23,164 --> 00:02:24,434
- Oh.
- from the seperate islands
50
00:02:24,453 --> 00:02:26,392
- we now apparently live on.
- Great.
51
00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:28,330
Actually they're probably further away,
52
00:02:28,368 --> 00:02:30,427
so I probably should need
to do like one of these.
53
00:02:30,426 --> 00:02:33,506
Remember when we used
to spend time together?
54
00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:35,602
I'm wearing that tank top on my island.
55
00:02:36,029 --> 00:02:40,219
No, you are not bringing
that goddamn tank top
56
00:02:40,234 --> 00:02:41,324
to your island, okay.
57
00:02:42,361 --> 00:02:45,221
I am going to build a boat,
58
00:02:45,228 --> 00:02:47,427
sail to your island
in the dead of night,
59
00:02:47,425 --> 00:02:50,824
find that horrible tank
top, put it in my boat,
60
00:02:50,821 --> 00:02:54,290
light the boat on fire,
push it out to sea
61
00:02:54,287 --> 00:02:58,097
and then swim with the
sharks back to my island.
62
00:02:58,213 --> 00:02:59,633
Why would you do that?
63
00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:00,951
We'd finally be together.
64
00:03:01,069 --> 00:03:02,218
You know why?
65
00:03:02,218 --> 00:03:04,267
Because you need to learn
from your mistakes,
66
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:08,356
Michael Reginald Harris.
67
00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:10,350
That is not my middle name.
68
00:03:10,348 --> 00:03:13,057
Actually it is now, I
changed it two weeks ago.
69
00:03:13,055 --> 00:03:16,284
I forgot to tell you,
Brian knows, hear that?
70
00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:18,291
- Yeah.
- Call back
71
00:03:18,788 --> 00:03:22,048
to the Santa Barbara trip,
see you in Santa Barbs.
72
00:03:24,102 --> 00:03:25,221
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
73
00:03:25,221 --> 00:03:29,551
So this 18-year old and I
stood there for quite a while.
74
00:03:29,646 --> 00:03:31,796
Why are you even buying
condoms, you're married?
75
00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:35,922
Because Mike comes so fast, it
just slows everything down.
76
00:03:35,918 --> 00:03:37,247
I guessed that, I guessed that.
77
00:03:37,247 --> 00:03:38,827
- No, that is not true.
- No?
78
00:03:38,865 --> 00:03:40,714
- I don't.
- You're right, you're right,
79
00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:44,563
he comes so slowly, that
it's hard to watch.
80
00:03:44,618 --> 00:03:46,577
I forgot how brutal
these poker games are.
81
00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:48,376
- I wish I had that luxury.
- Hm.
82
00:03:48,384 --> 00:03:50,594
No, she went off the
pill, it was her choice.
83
00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:55,781
Mike, how dare you share
my personal information.
84
00:03:55,805 --> 00:03:57,885
- Yeah, okay.
- You should get an IUD.
85
00:03:57,922 --> 00:03:59,082
- Really?
- Yeah,
86
00:03:59,101 --> 00:04:00,421
I went out with this
girl, who had an IUD
87
00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:02,379
and it's the best thing, because
she's basically saying,
88
00:04:02,397 --> 00:04:03,977
"Hey, let's rod dog it, bro."
89
00:04:04,015 --> 00:04:05,155
- Oh.
- Ugh!
90
00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:09,513
Okay, I am loathe to admit
this after your cool,
91
00:04:09,509 --> 00:04:12,229
let's rod dog it, bro, turn of phrase,
92
00:04:12,245 --> 00:04:14,644
but I'm actually thinking
of getting an IUD.
93
00:04:14,643 --> 00:04:16,923
Oh, wow, my Mom has an IUD.
94
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:18,370
Your mother is dead, Brandon.
95
00:04:18,378 --> 00:04:20,418
Well, she asked to be buried with it.
96
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,375
- Ah, Jesus.
- That actually makes sense,
97
00:04:22,374 --> 00:04:23,954
- they can be very expensive.
- Hm-mm.
98
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,102
Do you think we can dig hers up
99
00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:26,569
and just throw it up in me?
100
00:04:26,569 --> 00:04:27,649
Oh, you know what, maybe.
101
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:28,706
- Really?
- Yeah, tomorrow
102
00:04:28,706 --> 00:04:31,505
let's go to the cemetery
and ask her ourselves.
103
00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:33,172
Great, I look forward to that.
104
00:04:33,171 --> 00:04:35,170
It will have to be
though in the afternoon,
105
00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:38,237
because not to brag, I am
meeting our washing machine
106
00:04:38,235 --> 00:04:41,855
repairman from the home
warranty company tomorrow.
107
00:04:41,911 --> 00:04:43,901
You're still dealing with that?
108
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,988
Yes, for the past six weeks.
109
00:04:46,046 --> 00:04:47,516
Aren't we just getting a new washer?
110
00:04:48,283 --> 00:04:51,972
I will let the Earth crash into the sun,
111
00:04:51,969 --> 00:04:54,238
before I get a new washer,
112
00:04:54,236 --> 00:04:56,165
they need to fix it,
this is the whole reason
113
00:04:56,164 --> 00:04:58,514
we have a home warranty policy
for this exact scenario.
114
00:04:58,571 --> 00:04:59,850
That policy is a scam.
115
00:04:59,849 --> 00:05:01,298
Ooh, a fucking scam
116
00:05:01,298 --> 00:05:04,348
and this is the hill I
am going to die on.
117
00:05:04,424 --> 00:05:05,884
- That's the hill you've chosen?
- Yes!
118
00:05:05,912 --> 00:05:07,241
Do you remember when
that happened to Travis?
119
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,241
- Yes.
- He ended up having to buy
120
00:05:08,259 --> 00:05:09,698
- a whole new fridge.
- Oh, my God,
121
00:05:09,698 --> 00:05:11,828
- wasn't he so pissed?
- So pissed.
122
00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:12,895
Who's Travis?
123
00:05:12,914 --> 00:05:14,633
Travis from the office.
124
00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:17,031
I've literally never heard
the name, Travis before.
125
00:05:17,029 --> 00:05:18,169
Yeah, you have, Travis,
126
00:05:18,188 --> 00:05:19,627
he's in the office right next to me.
127
00:05:19,626 --> 00:05:21,295
I thought Kelly was next to you?
128
00:05:21,294 --> 00:05:22,893
Oh, no, since I moved floors.
129
00:05:22,892 --> 00:05:25,022
When did you move floors?
130
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,200
Eight months ago.
131
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:28,198
You moved floors eight months ago?
132
00:05:28,216 --> 00:05:29,976
- I did.
- Why didn't you tell me?
133
00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:31,734
I don't know, I should have.
134
00:05:31,762 --> 00:05:32,772
Have you guys ever met?
135
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,160
Because I have a feeling you
would totally hit it off.
136
00:05:35,158 --> 00:05:37,028
I'm telling you right now,
I don't think we would.
137
00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:39,625
No, no, no, Mike, Mike,
she uses condoms,
138
00:05:39,623 --> 00:05:41,442
so yeah, you could do so much better,
139
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,959
I'll find you a lady.
140
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:45,129
- Thanks.
- You deserve to R-D-I-B.
141
00:05:47,164 --> 00:05:49,124
- Raw dog it, bro.
- From behind.
142
00:05:51,359 --> 00:05:54,289
I just hit a full house,
but I'm gonna fold
143
00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:56,024
after what he just said.
144
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,222
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
145
00:05:57,222 --> 00:05:59,592
I'll be honest, I don't
love that you and I
146
00:05:59,599 --> 00:06:02,088
have apparently become strangers,
147
00:06:02,086 --> 00:06:03,516
but not you know, in a cool way
148
00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,153
like you work in a hobby shop,
149
00:06:05,152 --> 00:06:07,072
I'm looking for a specific type of glue,
150
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:10,430
it's too expensive, you
offer up your own adhesive.
151
00:06:10,556 --> 00:06:12,685
- That's very specific.
- I'm just saying,
152
00:06:12,684 --> 00:06:16,244
I was kind of joking about
the seperate island thing,
153
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,279
but doesn't it seem like
we've been kind of leading
154
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:22,417
parallel lives recently without
a ton of intersection?
155
00:06:22,422 --> 00:06:23,832
- Yeah, it does.
- Yeah.
156
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,219
But I think it's because we've
both been slammed lately.
157
00:06:26,218 --> 00:06:28,588
Mike, you moved offices eight months ago
158
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:31,685
next to this alleged Travis.
159
00:06:31,761 --> 00:06:33,881
Well, at least you get to
meet very real Travis,
160
00:06:33,889 --> 00:06:35,818
before you die of boredom
at my partners' dinner.
161
00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:38,076
Oh, no, I plan on not wearing
a seatbelt to that event
162
00:06:38,094 --> 00:06:39,483
and hope I just get lucky.
163
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,012
Feel free to text a
lot behind the wheel,
164
00:06:42,019 --> 00:06:43,679
if you know what I'm saying.
165
00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:45,486
Oh, I know what you're saying.
166
00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:48,865
How do we get back on
each other's islands?
167
00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:50,501
Back on each other islands?
168
00:06:50,539 --> 00:06:54,218
I think honestly we just
have to invite each other
169
00:06:54,215 --> 00:06:56,575
more into our lives.
170
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:58,452
- That's a lot of arms.
- Yeah,
171
00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:00,829
yeah, didn't love any
of how that came out.
172
00:07:00,827 --> 00:07:02,847
- It's still happening.
- But seriously,
173
00:07:02,904 --> 00:07:05,343
- like you know.
- Yeah, no, let's do it.
174
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,741
Alright, I was gonna
ask you this before,
175
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,820
but I might as well get
some credit for it.
176
00:07:08,897 --> 00:07:12,756
I'm thinking about getting
that IUD put in...
177
00:07:12,753 --> 00:07:15,033
- Hm-mm.
- But I'm a little freaked out.
178
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,009
Will you come with me to get it?
179
00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:18,268
Of course, I'd be happy to.
180
00:07:18,326 --> 00:07:19,745
- Thank you.
- Hm-mm.
181
00:07:19,745 --> 00:07:23,625
And my vagina thanks you as well.
182
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,520
Well, tell your vagina
I said you're welcome.
183
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:30,745
Mike, she's right there,
please tell her yourself,
184
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,512
I can't always be your go between.
185
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,109
You're welcome.
186
00:07:35,726 --> 00:07:39,506
I don't think she heard you,
you're pretty far away.
187
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:41,740
Hm-mm.
188
00:07:42,608 --> 00:07:45,998
Closer, closer, closer,
189
00:07:46,273 --> 00:07:47,733
- closer.
- Closer?
190
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:51,131
Closer, close, yep, right about there.
191
00:07:51,128 --> 00:07:53,168
[MIKE] You're welcome.
192
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,545
I think she felt that was sincere,
193
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:59,062
so did I, yeah, boy.
194
00:08:01,755 --> 00:08:04,705
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
195
00:08:05,271 --> 00:08:10,011
_
196
00:08:10,135 --> 00:08:12,005
Mommy, is this gonna hurt?
197
00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:14,643
No, bubs, they're just
gonna clean your teeth,
198
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,720
make 'em all shiny,
199
00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:18,699
you'll probably get a
cool new toothbrush.
200
00:08:18,935 --> 00:08:22,464
Well, can I play camera on
your phone, while we wait?
201
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:26,071
Oh, my God, well, 'cause
you're so scared, yeah,
202
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:28,665
but for the record, I know
that you're faking it
203
00:08:28,663 --> 00:08:30,383
to get on my phone.
204
00:08:30,421 --> 00:08:34,121
- Ms. Warren.
- Hi, Dr. Fuller, how are you?
205
00:08:34,177 --> 00:08:35,657
- I'm great, good to see you.
- You too,
206
00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:37,595
bubs, you're up, come on, hurry up.
207
00:08:38,062 --> 00:08:40,152
Amelia, you ready to come on back?
208
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,190
Hm-mm.
209
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,248
Mommy, his breath doesn't
smell like farts.
210
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,062
What, where did you, what
are you talking about?
211
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,860
You were texting Kyle about his breath.
212
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:55,593
Oh, no, no, no, that was
a different dentist,
213
00:08:55,592 --> 00:08:57,872
that was my friend, Kyle's dentist.
214
00:08:57,909 --> 00:09:00,009
He should come to see
you, do you see adults?
215
00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:01,025
Absolutely.
216
00:09:01,025 --> 00:09:02,385
Great. You know, I'm
gonna grab your card,
217
00:09:02,404 --> 00:09:04,054
I think he'll be really happy
218
00:09:04,062 --> 00:09:06,721
to know that that is an option.
219
00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:08,358
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
220
00:09:08,436 --> 00:09:10,796
I mean, you can do hidden
photo folders, right?
221
00:09:10,814 --> 00:09:13,194
- Yep.
- Can't you just do that for text chains?
222
00:09:13,211 --> 00:09:14,920
No, but I'm looking here.
223
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:16,919
Oh, it was so embarrassing,
224
00:09:16,926 --> 00:09:20,306
she said his breath smelled like farts.
225
00:09:20,322 --> 00:09:21,322
Maybe on the bright side,
226
00:09:21,322 --> 00:09:22,920
the dentist will start
brushing his teeth
227
00:09:22,919 --> 00:09:25,519
or figure out what's
going on in his stomach?
228
00:09:25,576 --> 00:09:27,055
I've gotta say, I'm pretty impressed
229
00:09:27,054 --> 00:09:30,354
- with her reading though.
- Hm, yeah, well, I now get
230
00:09:30,371 --> 00:09:32,711
why the government
doesn't fund education,
231
00:09:32,808 --> 00:09:35,388
they understand the perils of knowledge.
232
00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:38,485
Amelia needs to never be
on your phone or computer
233
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:40,821
or brain, how do you
walk around like this?
234
00:09:40,858 --> 00:09:43,587
- Like a fucking champion.
- Hm-mm.
235
00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:46,314
I did have to buy her her
own coloring paper though,
236
00:09:46,312 --> 00:09:48,811
she used to draw on the backs
of old scripts of mine.
237
00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:50,248
Please don't tell me stuff like that.
238
00:09:50,247 --> 00:09:51,786
- What?
- Seriously?
239
00:09:51,785 --> 00:09:54,245
Accidentally reading one dick joke
240
00:09:54,252 --> 00:09:56,662
is not going to scar our child forever.
241
00:09:56,719 --> 00:09:58,259
I guess not.
242
00:10:00,115 --> 00:10:01,455
What about two?
243
00:10:02,652 --> 00:10:04,652
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
244
00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,670
Is it weird that we're not
gonna see Dr. Satkin?
245
00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:08,428
No, this happens all the time,
246
00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:10,386
these doctors are
always birthing babies.
247
00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:11,582
Oh, right, that's what they do.
248
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,622
Well, I mean, that's their side hustle,
249
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,840
so they can afford to do
what they really wanna do,
250
00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:17,307
the Paps.
251
00:10:18,654 --> 00:10:21,194
- Andrea, hello!
- Dr. Goldberg, hi!
252
00:10:21,231 --> 00:10:22,310
It's been a while, how are you?
253
00:10:22,309 --> 00:10:23,508
I'm good, how are you?
254
00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,108
- I'm very well.
- Good.
255
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,506
Steve?
256
00:10:27,174 --> 00:10:28,664
Oh, my God, Mike.
257
00:10:28,742 --> 00:10:30,241
- Hey, man!
- Wow!
258
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,300
- How are you?
- I'm great, how are you, man?
259
00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:33,578
- What is happening?
- Steve and I
260
00:10:33,596 --> 00:10:34,656
went to camp together.
261
00:10:34,695 --> 00:10:36,395
- What?
- He was my camp counselor.
262
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,053
Oh, my God, are you serious?
263
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,091
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
264
00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:40,709
How long has it been
since I've seen you?
265
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,908
30 years, how about that?
266
00:10:42,945 --> 00:10:45,045
[STEVE] 30 years, can you believe it?
267
00:10:45,082 --> 00:10:47,102
- You look great.
- You too, man.
268
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:49,010
- Does he look the same?
- Looks exactly the same.
269
00:10:49,018 --> 00:10:50,057
- You look exactly the same.
- Yeah, 'cause that's what
270
00:10:50,057 --> 00:10:51,066
you're supposed to say, right.
271
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,095
- That's crazy.
- Alright, Andrea,
272
00:10:52,114 --> 00:10:53,703
you're gonna wanna lie
back, scooch forward
273
00:10:53,702 --> 00:10:55,402
- and throw those feet on up.
- Okay.
274
00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:58,148
Now you're gonna feel a little pressure,
275
00:10:58,147 --> 00:10:59,717
- just take a few deep breaths.
- Okay.
276
00:10:59,745 --> 00:11:00,765
Alright, fine.
277
00:11:02,432 --> 00:11:04,862
These are my fingers...
278
00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:06,199
Hm-mm.
279
00:11:06,218 --> 00:11:08,237
... and I'm just applying
a little numbing cream.
280
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,634
- Hm-mm.
- Okay.
281
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:12,014
So are you still in touch
with anyone else from camp?
282
00:11:12,131 --> 00:11:13,900
No, not really, have you?
283
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:15,368
I mean, I'm on Facebook with some.
284
00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:16,827
Oh, okay, well, my sister and I
285
00:11:16,835 --> 00:11:18,925
- went to the 20 year reunion.
- Oh, my God, you did?
286
00:11:18,943 --> 00:11:20,183
Yeah, you okay?
287
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,321
Hm-mm.
288
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,540
Oh, my God, how's your sister?
289
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:25,758
His sister, Alison was my
first kiss, isn't that crazy?
290
00:11:26,164 --> 00:11:27,714
- So crazy.
- I know.
291
00:11:27,732 --> 00:11:29,392
- She's doing great, by the way.
- Oh, good.
292
00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:31,270
She's an architect, she has two kids,
293
00:11:31,278 --> 00:11:32,287
- living in Portland.
- Oh, nice.
294
00:11:32,287 --> 00:11:33,766
You're gonna wanna take
a deep breath here.
295
00:11:33,765 --> 00:11:35,234
- That's amazing.
- Ready?
296
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,183
- I hear that the...
- Ooh!
297
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:39,630
I hear that they redid all the cabins?
298
00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:40,648
- Ah-huh.
- Did they?
299
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:41,667
- Ah-huh.
- How'd it look?
300
00:11:41,676 --> 00:11:42,685
[STEVE] Ah-huh, it looked great.
301
00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:44,875
- Did they redo that dock?
- No, dock's the same,
302
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,212
a lot of fun.
303
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,350
- Are we...
- Yeah.
304
00:11:47,369 --> 00:11:48,529
- Are we done?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
305
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,888
Tell me what it was like
to get back on the lake.
306
00:11:49,906 --> 00:11:52,425
- You know what? The lake is beautiful.
- Tell me everybody...
307
00:11:52,423 --> 00:11:53,762
- I'm gonna get dressed.
- Okay, great.
308
00:11:53,762 --> 00:11:55,031
- So...
- Was Magnus there?
309
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:56,829
- Magnus was there.
- Magnus?
310
00:11:56,828 --> 00:11:58,398
Magnus was.
311
00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:01,075
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
312
00:12:01,093 --> 00:12:02,943
I still can't believe Steve Goldberg
313
00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:04,321
is one of your gynecologists.
314
00:12:04,329 --> 00:12:06,609
Oh, I don't consider him one
of my gynecologists anymore,
315
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:07,725
now he's just your buddy,
316
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:10,025
who sometimes puts his hand inside me,
317
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,502
but you know, at least
you got to reminisce
318
00:12:12,519 --> 00:12:16,299
with an old friend, so that
was a good day for you.
319
00:12:16,315 --> 00:12:18,215
Hm, that didn't sound sincere.
320
00:12:18,253 --> 00:12:21,862
I'm not gonna lie, it
wasn't amazing for me
321
00:12:21,858 --> 00:12:25,268
just spread eagle, while
you guys chitchatted.
322
00:12:25,304 --> 00:12:27,164
I think it was just a
shock to see him there,
323
00:12:27,192 --> 00:12:30,321
but you're right, that wasn't
the most ideal setting
324
00:12:30,318 --> 00:12:32,638
- for a reunion.
- Outside my vagina?
325
00:12:32,716 --> 00:12:34,585
I don't know, I mean, I
have a Pap smear coming up,
326
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,673
if you wanna invite some
of your college friends,
327
00:12:36,731 --> 00:12:38,091
we haven't seen them in a while.
328
00:12:38,189 --> 00:12:41,329
Okay, why didn't you say something?
329
00:12:41,455 --> 00:12:43,254
What was I supposed to say?
330
00:12:43,253 --> 00:12:45,582
Please stop reminiscing,
331
00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:48,780
while you install
hardware into my uterus.
332
00:12:48,877 --> 00:12:51,187
I was aggressively trying
to make eye contact.
333
00:12:51,234 --> 00:12:52,533
I'm sorry.
334
00:12:52,532 --> 00:12:55,981
I know, this isn't even about
your obvious obsession
335
00:12:55,978 --> 00:12:59,808
with my gynecologist and
his sister and the dock,
336
00:12:59,924 --> 00:13:02,124
we're just,
337
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:03,780
we're out of sync,
338
00:13:03,779 --> 00:13:05,999
we're off and I don't love it.
339
00:13:06,056 --> 00:13:07,816
Yeah, shit.
340
00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:10,473
Oh, God, are we getting divorced?
341
00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:11,580
Is this the beginning of the end?
342
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,730
Hopefully there's some
stops before that.
343
00:13:13,747 --> 00:13:15,027
Oh, my God, you seem panicked.
344
00:13:15,046 --> 00:13:16,906
- Stop, no.
- You're panicking.
345
00:13:16,924 --> 00:13:18,644
I am not, but it might nor hurt
346
00:13:18,661 --> 00:13:20,221
to give the old therapist a call?
347
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:21,579
I mean, I guess if it's a choice
348
00:13:21,578 --> 00:13:23,998
between therapy and divorce.
349
00:13:24,035 --> 00:13:25,075
Right.
350
00:13:25,174 --> 00:13:26,654
But you should know that I think
351
00:13:26,712 --> 00:13:29,511
the only way I'll truly be
able to move forward...
352
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,508
- Yeah.
- ... is if Claire ends up with her hand
353
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,146
- inside you.
- Mommy, I can't sleep.
354
00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:35,643
What?
355
00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:38,041
Oh, bubs, come here, maybe
you just need to snuggle.
356
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,419
- Here.
- We'll get back to the
357
00:13:39,437 --> 00:13:42,016
F-I-S-T-I-N-G later.
358
00:13:42,014 --> 00:13:43,443
Hm-mm.
359
00:13:43,442 --> 00:13:44,592
Feisting?
360
00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:48,169
Yes, good job,
361
00:13:48,177 --> 00:13:51,006
feisting, like feisty,
362
00:13:51,003 --> 00:13:54,603
like we were being crazy.
363
00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:56,969
Well, I guess spelling is done.
364
00:13:56,976 --> 00:14:00,136
Yeah, we had a G-O-O-D run.
365
00:14:01,271 --> 00:14:04,591
Was that a joke, like a spelling joke?
366
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:05,747
Yeah.
367
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,886
I don't feel like divorce
is the worst option,
368
00:14:09,002 --> 00:14:10,462
you know what I mean?
369
00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:14,299
Like don't take it off the table.
370
00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:16,636
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
371
00:14:16,653 --> 00:14:19,502
I mean, try to get her to bed
by nine, 9:30 at the latest,
372
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:22,350
otherwise I suffer tomorrow,
when she's a jerk.
373
00:14:22,366 --> 00:14:25,365
Ooh, 15 ways to stay thin
and keep your booty.
374
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:26,562
Oh, Jesus Christ, give me that.
375
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,630
- Why?
- Because I am throwing out
376
00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:30,029
all objectionable material,
377
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,497
because of my daughter's newfound
love of the written word.
378
00:14:32,514 --> 00:14:34,334
Oh, that can't be all
of it in this house.
379
00:14:34,352 --> 00:14:35,431
Oh, God, no, please,
380
00:14:35,431 --> 00:14:37,471
this is the stuff I
would never throw out,
381
00:14:37,529 --> 00:14:39,489
I'm gonna pop it in your
garage, when I do laundry,
382
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,965
you might actually wanna
make a little bit of room,
383
00:14:41,963 --> 00:14:43,783
there's quite a few boxes.
384
00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:45,560
Your washing machine still isn't fixed?
385
00:14:45,559 --> 00:14:47,559
Nope, but I am currently filing
386
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:48,877
a small claims suit against them,
387
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:50,795
- so...
- Honey, get a new washing machine,
388
00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:52,613
it's been broken for so long.
389
00:14:52,631 --> 00:14:54,411
Mom, it's the principle of it, okay,
390
00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:56,098
it's about justice, this is not okay,
391
00:14:56,097 --> 00:14:58,096
I'm paying for a policy.
392
00:14:58,094 --> 00:14:59,424
What are these?
393
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,302
- Edward Penis hands.
- What?
394
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,299
Every year at Halloween, these
friends come out to play.
395
00:15:05,316 --> 00:15:07,495
I should really try to
get custody of Amelia.
396
00:15:07,493 --> 00:15:10,293
I mean, good luck, something tells me
397
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:13,250
I can win over an all female jury.
398
00:15:13,266 --> 00:15:15,295
- God.
- Mom, muah!
399
00:15:15,294 --> 00:15:18,484
Thank you for staying, muah, muah, muah!
400
00:15:18,690 --> 00:15:21,489
Alright, I promise it's not
gonna be a late night.
401
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,756
I can only smile at old
lawyers for so long,
402
00:15:23,754 --> 00:15:26,394
before my soul vacates my body.
403
00:15:26,411 --> 00:15:27,751
It's fine.
404
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:29,589
Are you putting on lipstick?
405
00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:31,767
Now, why?
406
00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:34,285
For your husband, I
always put on lipstick,
407
00:15:34,292 --> 00:15:35,901
before Leon comes home from work.
408
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:38,040
You know what? Usually I
would tell you to suck it,
409
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,657
but maybe I should throw on a gloss.
410
00:15:39,755 --> 00:15:41,284
Why, what happened?
411
00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:44,393
Nothing, just we're like a
little off kilter right now,
412
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:45,549
but we're working on it.
413
00:15:45,548 --> 00:15:47,868
Mike is the best thing
that ever happened to you.
414
00:15:47,985 --> 00:15:51,754
Wow, better than your granddaughter?
415
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,301
Well, Mike did his part
there too, didn't he?
416
00:15:54,598 --> 00:15:59,017
I don't love how sexily
you refer to his sperm.
417
00:15:59,012 --> 00:16:00,452
Can't help being sexy.
418
00:16:00,471 --> 00:16:01,481
Sorry I'm late.
419
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:03,109
- Hi, perfect timing.
- You ready?
420
00:16:03,108 --> 00:16:04,547
- Yes, please.
- Thanks for staying, Sharon.
421
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:07,506
Okay, you guys have fun, I
can stay over if you like,
422
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,342
whatever you need.
423
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,549
Oh, my God, seriously?
424
00:16:11,548 --> 00:16:13,747
Don't worry, you came out
smelling like roses,
425
00:16:13,745 --> 00:16:15,275
- thank you, Mom.
- Oh, love you, Sharon.
426
00:16:15,353 --> 00:16:17,543
Gross, put your dick away.
427
00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:20,370
Mom, I'm actually talking to yours.
428
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:24,526
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
429
00:16:24,522 --> 00:16:26,301
Ken, Linda was showing us pictures
430
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,180
of your daughter's wedding,
it looked amazing.
431
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,878
Thank you, she's just become
such a wonderful young woman.
432
00:16:30,935 --> 00:16:32,195
- That's so nice to hear.
- Yeah.
433
00:16:32,213 --> 00:16:33,942
- I love that from a Dad.
- And I have to give Linda
434
00:16:33,941 --> 00:16:35,911
- all the credit.
- What are you saying?
435
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:37,509
- She did all the work.
- Oh.
436
00:16:37,527 --> 00:16:39,627
- I was always stuck in the office.
- Come on,
437
00:16:39,645 --> 00:16:42,414
that is how we were able to
afford that beautiful wedding.
438
00:16:42,411 --> 00:16:44,841
- Hey, hi!
- Oh, my gosh, Becky.
439
00:16:44,858 --> 00:16:47,007
- That is a beautiful top.
- I love that color.
440
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,206
So you guys have big plans tonight, hm?
441
00:16:49,213 --> 00:16:50,333
Going dancing?
442
00:16:50,352 --> 00:16:51,941
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- Yeah, I wish.
443
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:53,870
- I'm gonna go home and pack.
- Oh, where you going?
444
00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:56,208
Dan is, he's going for work.
445
00:16:56,245 --> 00:16:59,544
Oh, that's nice of you to pack for him.
446
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:01,380
Well, if he packed himself,
447
00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:03,039
who knows what he'd end up with.
448
00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:04,867
I'd end up in Caracas with four shirts
449
00:17:04,895 --> 00:17:06,255
and not a pair of pants in sight.
450
00:17:06,603 --> 00:17:09,533
- It's happened before.
- It sounds like it happened.
451
00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:11,389
- You want another drink?
- Yes, I would love one.
452
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:13,467
- Excuse us, guys.
- Yes, good to see you,
453
00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:15,425
we'll see you out and about.
454
00:17:16,132 --> 00:17:18,601
So Becky packs Dan's suitcase,
455
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:19,999
- that's a thing.
- Yeah,
456
00:17:20,007 --> 00:17:23,037
and they've been together
forever and seem very happy.
457
00:17:23,603 --> 00:17:25,313
- Wow.
- I'm just saying,
458
00:17:25,371 --> 00:17:28,200
they may be, you know,
horrifying gender stereotypes,
459
00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:30,986
but they are in sync, look at them.
460
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:32,224
That's true, they are.
461
00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:36,072
Without each other, Dan would
be pantsless in Caracas
462
00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:38,278
and Becky, I assume would be dead.
463
00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:40,675
Is that a positive or a negative?
464
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:43,532
I don't know, I'm just saying
most couples by this age
465
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,749
are a disaster, who else do you know,
466
00:17:45,807 --> 00:17:47,807
who have been together this
long and are that happy?
467
00:17:47,844 --> 00:17:50,333
That's a good question.
468
00:17:50,331 --> 00:17:53,181
Nobody but them and my mother.
469
00:17:53,218 --> 00:17:55,467
- Oh, God.
- Ah-huh,
470
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:59,515
so you ready for a life
of just constant lipstick
471
00:17:59,650 --> 00:18:02,510
- and getting fed in bed?
- Not necessarily.
472
00:18:02,527 --> 00:18:04,847
Well, then tick tock on this itch.
473
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,663
Alright, I can get on
board with dinner in bed.
474
00:18:06,662 --> 00:18:09,442
Fuck you, I will never
give you dinner in bed.
475
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:12,699
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
476
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,435
So she's six, is that
kindergarten or 1st grade?
477
00:18:15,452 --> 00:18:16,591
- Kindergarten.
- Kindergarten?
478
00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:17,599
Yes, she's having a great year,
479
00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:18,949
she really, really likes school.
480
00:18:18,968 --> 00:18:19,977
- Loves her teachers.
- Yeah.
481
00:18:19,976 --> 00:18:21,626
Oh, I'm sorry, no, no, no,
482
00:18:21,664 --> 00:18:24,143
he has sensitive teeth,
so he can't have any ice,
483
00:18:24,141 --> 00:18:25,320
thank you.
484
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,720
[DAN] Thank you, honey.
485
00:18:26,728 --> 00:18:28,618
- I saw that.
- Hm.
486
00:18:28,636 --> 00:18:31,196
- What are kids into at six?
- Six is reading,
487
00:18:31,213 --> 00:18:32,833
- she just started reading.
- Oh, so cute.
488
00:18:32,851 --> 00:18:34,520
- Yeah.
- It is cute,
489
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:36,149
- little bit of a downside though...
- I know.
490
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:38,056
- Yeah.
- ... now she's reading everything.
491
00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:39,285
Yeah.
492
00:18:39,304 --> 00:18:41,344
We have a story about that, yeah,
493
00:18:41,361 --> 00:18:45,301
Travis, tell them about the
time with Josh and the Playboy.
494
00:18:45,336 --> 00:18:46,475
- Oh, God.
- Oh, right, right, right.
495
00:18:46,475 --> 00:18:48,805
- So my brother, as a joke...
- No.
496
00:18:48,832 --> 00:18:50,671
... he got me a Playboy subscription.
497
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,830
Yeah, it comes in the mail,
we don't even think about it.
498
00:18:52,848 --> 00:18:56,568
And it's a Sunday morning
and Josh, our son is 10
499
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,252
and I see him notice the magazine
500
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,049
out of the corner of his eye
501
00:19:01,048 --> 00:19:03,717
and he starts toward it,
502
00:19:03,715 --> 00:19:05,914
so I take three steps
503
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,451
and I just dive. [THUDDING]
504
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,519
- Ooh!
- [GASPING]
505
00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:09,829
Ooh, you okay?
506
00:19:09,947 --> 00:19:12,986
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine and so I dove
507
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:16,414
and I'm trying to get there
before he opens it up, right,
508
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:18,639
- so...
- John,
509
00:19:20,315 --> 00:19:22,405
- you're just, bleeding a little bit.
- Bleeding. Yeah.
510
00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:23,933
Here, let me just, oh, my God.
511
00:19:23,951 --> 00:19:25,180
- Here, sit back.
- Oh, my God.
512
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:26,339
I'll just put some pressure on that.
513
00:19:26,348 --> 00:19:27,377
- Oh, just.
- I'm okay,
514
00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:29,146
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- I know, you are okay,
515
00:19:29,145 --> 00:19:30,445
we're just gonna lean your head back.
516
00:19:30,453 --> 00:19:31,763
Yeah, ooh, there's some blood.
517
00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:32,902
- Oh.
- Is he okay?
518
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,340
- He's gonna be fine.
- Yeah, yeah, no,
519
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:36,639
it's a head wound, so you
know, there's blood.
520
00:19:36,656 --> 00:19:38,966
- I don't think this is...
- Can someone see
521
00:19:38,993 --> 00:19:41,182
- if they have towels, can you get that?
- Yes, you know what?
522
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,911
- Thanks, Dan.
- I need to put some pressure, I think.
523
00:19:42,929 --> 00:19:44,308
- I will, put pressure, right.
- Yeah.
524
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:45,847
There we go, yeah.
525
00:19:45,865 --> 00:19:47,044
- Got it.
- There we go, ooh!
526
00:19:47,044 --> 00:19:49,774
- Oh!
- Colleen, will you call 911?
527
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:51,059
- 911?
- Yeah.
528
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:54,779
I think my fingers are in his head.
529
00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:57,554
We are pretty much holding
his scalp together.
530
00:19:57,641 --> 00:19:58,651
- Oh!
- Yeah.
531
00:19:58,660 --> 00:19:59,930
- Oh!
- Okay,
532
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,247
are those towels coming?
533
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:07,103
Colleen, he is gonna be fine.
534
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:08,909
Head wounds always look
worse than they are.
535
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,637
They bleed, they really do.
536
00:20:10,636 --> 00:20:12,716
- I can't thank you guys enough.
- Oh, my God.
537
00:20:12,773 --> 00:20:15,733
Should I ride in the ambulance
with him to the hospital?
538
00:20:16,769 --> 00:20:17,989
- Yeah.
- Yes.
539
00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:20,867
- Okay, yeah, thanks again.
- Of course, yes,
540
00:20:20,904 --> 00:20:22,234
let us know what happens.
541
00:20:23,571 --> 00:20:25,040
Thank you.
542
00:20:25,039 --> 00:20:26,838
- That was insane.
- Oh, my God.
543
00:20:26,837 --> 00:20:28,937
He was like really bleeding.
544
00:20:28,974 --> 00:20:31,074
No, he was gushing blood,
545
00:20:31,092 --> 00:20:33,172
- when our fingers were in his head...
- Yeah.
546
00:20:33,189 --> 00:20:37,109
I legitimately felt the
heartbeat behind the blood.
547
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:40,104
- But obviously poor dress.
- Oh, my God, terrible.
548
00:20:40,101 --> 00:20:43,161
But we were like in the zone.
549
00:20:43,437 --> 00:20:47,097
We were locked in, it was
like we were performing
550
00:20:47,103 --> 00:20:49,253
a little dance around his skull.
551
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:50,450
Right?
552
00:20:50,489 --> 00:20:52,368
Maybe this is our thing,
you know what I mean?
553
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:53,896
Maybe we've figured out our thing,
554
00:20:53,895 --> 00:20:56,164
maybe whenever we feel disconnected,
555
00:20:56,162 --> 00:20:57,822
I'll just hit someone with my car
556
00:20:57,860 --> 00:21:00,260
and then we'll just jam
their broken bones back in.
557
00:21:00,277 --> 00:21:01,397
- Good.
- Thank you.
558
00:21:01,416 --> 00:21:03,396
It's important to find
opportunities to connect.
559
00:21:03,474 --> 00:21:04,694
Right.
560
00:21:04,772 --> 00:21:06,432
I'm really happy you're here tonight.
561
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,810
Thank you, I am too.
562
00:21:10,505 --> 00:21:13,225
I guess maybe it's good that
we're not those people,
563
00:21:13,242 --> 00:21:16,641
because if I were Colleen,
you would have bled out,
564
00:21:16,638 --> 00:21:17,918
- to be clear.
- Oh, yes.
565
00:21:17,937 --> 00:21:19,496
But if I was dead,
566
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,295
at least you'd be able
to realize your dream
567
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:22,593
- of being a widow.
- Mike,
568
00:21:22,631 --> 00:21:24,830
two more years together
569
00:21:24,828 --> 00:21:27,088
- and then you die.
- Sorry, right.
570
00:21:27,096 --> 00:21:30,326
- I feel like I've made that so clear.
- You probably have.
571
00:21:30,692 --> 00:21:34,582
Oh, my God, you don't think
Travis has hep C, do you?
572
00:21:34,617 --> 00:21:36,937
Because I have some
open cuts on my hand.
573
00:21:36,954 --> 00:21:38,453
I think Travis and Colleen are clean.
574
00:21:38,452 --> 00:21:40,152
- I mean, if it was Dan...
- Ooph!
575
00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:42,419
... I'd be more worried,
why is he always trying
576
00:21:42,418 --> 00:21:44,448
to get to Caracas without his pants?
577
00:21:44,465 --> 00:21:47,495
- I think we know.
- To get a nice base tan on that dick.
578
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:51,198
I'm gonna wash my hands.
579
00:21:51,197 --> 00:21:52,416
You know what? I'll come with you,
580
00:21:52,416 --> 00:21:53,896
look how connected we are.
581
00:21:53,914 --> 00:21:56,084
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
582
00:21:56,092 --> 00:21:58,351
Well, feel free to seek
out another bleeder,
583
00:21:58,349 --> 00:22:00,869
we can wash clothes all day long.
584
00:22:00,946 --> 00:22:02,586
Did they actually fix
the washing machine?
585
00:22:02,604 --> 00:22:03,814
I thought it was unfixable.
586
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,183
Well, turns out of you
threaten legal action,
587
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,160
they can find the part to
fix your washing machine
588
00:22:08,177 --> 00:22:11,137
and they will come out on
a Sunday, the Lord's day.
589
00:22:11,174 --> 00:22:12,533
Well, congratulations,
590
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,511
- your perseverance paid off.
- Thank you.
591
00:22:14,510 --> 00:22:15,709
- Hm.
- I will tell you,
592
00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:17,417
I feel good about this,
593
00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:19,946
I feel like they have learned
some sort of a lesson,
594
00:22:19,953 --> 00:22:21,612
not remotely, but I feel good about it
595
00:22:21,612 --> 00:22:22,812
and the second he fixed it,
596
00:22:22,820 --> 00:22:24,500
I canceled that bullshit warranty.
597
00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:26,917
I will say though, kind of feel
598
00:22:26,935 --> 00:22:30,295
like I've won Roe v. Wade again.
599
00:22:30,351 --> 00:22:32,150
Travis is back home recovering,
600
00:22:32,149 --> 00:22:33,478
they had to glue his skin back together.
601
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:34,568
- Oh, God.
- Yeah,
602
00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:36,015
that was a really terrible wound.
603
00:22:36,015 --> 00:22:39,084
It was awful, again,
thrilled we were there.
604
00:22:39,081 --> 00:22:41,921
Hey, ask Travis if he needs
a good gynecologist,
605
00:22:41,938 --> 00:22:44,238
'cause I have a great camp
counselor I could recommend.
606
00:22:44,315 --> 00:22:45,755
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah, you know him.
607
00:22:45,773 --> 00:22:47,513
- Ah-huh.
- Remember that guy,
608
00:22:47,531 --> 00:22:50,410
- who was like right up inside?
- Wow.
609
00:22:50,408 --> 00:22:52,348
By the way, how you feeling down there?
610
00:22:52,365 --> 00:22:55,865
Really, not terrible, like
a little sore, but okay.
611
00:22:55,901 --> 00:22:57,421
Where do they even put an IUD?
612
00:22:57,439 --> 00:22:58,999
Does it go on the far wall?
613
00:22:59,747 --> 00:23:01,746
On the far wall?
614
00:23:01,744 --> 00:23:03,734
What exactly do you think that it?
615
00:23:03,752 --> 00:23:05,341
The wall that faces the door.
616
00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:06,610
What?
617
00:23:06,708 --> 00:23:09,738
You know, you're standing
with your back to the wall,
618
00:23:09,745 --> 00:23:11,144
you're facing the door.
619
00:23:11,143 --> 00:23:13,243
Then what's behind the wall?
620
00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:14,980
Your butt?
621
00:23:15,338 --> 00:23:16,798
My butt?
622
00:23:16,876 --> 00:23:18,936
Yeah, your butt or your tummy?
623
00:23:18,944 --> 00:23:21,074
How do we even have a child?
624
00:23:21,091 --> 00:23:23,740
Oh, I didn't know if it was like a,
625
00:23:23,738 --> 00:23:25,428
tilted in there, is it tilted?
626
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:28,546
- Is what tilted, what is this part?
- This is it, this is the.
627
00:23:28,603 --> 00:23:30,403
- The what?
- The.
628
00:23:31,539 --> 00:23:35,359
Oh, this has been delightful, thank you.
629
00:23:35,395 --> 00:23:38,415
[CHEERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
630
00:23:44,644 --> 00:23:46,464
Are we gonna get a front
load washer or...
631
00:23:46,482 --> 00:23:47,501
Please stop talking.
632
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:48,830
- Okay.
- Hm-mm.
633
00:23:50,337 --> 00:23:53,077
Mommy, what are squirt girls?
634
00:23:53,863 --> 00:23:56,293
What are squirt girls?
635
00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:57,470
On that car.
636
00:23:58,328 --> 00:23:59,788
_
637
00:23:59,826 --> 00:24:02,566
Oh! You know what?
638
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:07,262
Those are fancy ladies,
who sell water guns.
639
00:24:07,896 --> 00:24:09,795
- Can we get some?
- No,
640
00:24:09,794 --> 00:24:13,014
they're very expensive water guns,
641
00:24:13,070 --> 00:24:15,690
you have to buy them by the minute.
642
00:24:18,324 --> 00:24:20,524
So happy we stopped spelling.
643
00:24:20,531 --> 00:24:21,681
Yeah.
644
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,429
Also, why is that a .org?
645
00:24:26,145 --> 00:24:28,815
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
646
00:24:28,865 --> 00:24:33,415
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
48401
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.