Original subtitles

TONIGHT, ON A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF "THE DIRT"...

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

...THE MINERS ARE IN RARE FORM...

THAT'S THE MOST ANIMATED I THINK I'VE EVER SEEN YOU.

I WAS OVER-SERVED.

...AS WE REVEAL NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN

CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR FOOTAGE FROM OUR VAULT.

KARLA, ARE YOU FEELING THE PRESSURE IN THE GOLD ROOM?

OH, ABSOLUTELY, AND I'M JUST PULLING

SOME RUMPELSTILTSKIN STUFF OUT AND...

THAT MEANS SHE'S STEALING GOLD. [ LAUGHTER ]

PARKER SCRAMBLES TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL

WITH ONE OF HIS BEST GUYS.

YOU DID SAY HOW MY JOB IS, WHAT, MEANINGLESS.

THERE'S, WHAT, SIX GUYS HERE DOING [BLEEP] NOTHING.

AND I WANT TO TAKE SUCH PRIDE IN MY WORTHLESS, MEANINGLESS JOB.

AND WE EVEN GET AN INTIMATE PORTRAIT

OF "GOLD RUSH'S" MOST BELOVED MINER...

John: OOH, THAT IS BEAUTIFUL!

Narrator: ...IN A SPECIAL LOOK BACK ON GRANDPA JOHN SCHNABEL'S LIFE.

HE WAS NEVER ONE TO BACK AWAY FROM A BIG ADVENTURE,

AND I'D LIKE TO THINK WE'RE DOING THE SAME.

AND ALONG THE WAY, WE'LL COUNT DOWN

THE GREATEST "GOLD RUSH" MOMENTS OF ALL TIME,

DETERMINED BY YOU, THE LOYAL FANS.

NO GUTS, NO GLORY!

LET'S FIRE IT UP.

WE'RE GONNA PULL OUR FIRST MILLION FROM RIGHT HERE.

WHAT MORE WILL THEY ASK FOR?

Narrator: FINALLY, A SNEAK PEEK

OF TONIGHT'S ALL-NEW EPISODE OF "GOLD RUSH."

HOLY [BLEEP] [ LAUGHS ]

THERE'S GOLD FROM HERE TO ETERNITY!

Narrator: LET'S GET CRACKING.

CHRIS WOULD SNAP YOUR NECK SO FAST.

HE'S GOT THE STRONGEST GRIP. -HE MIGHT SNAP YOUR ARM.

[ BONE CRACKS, LAUGHTER ]

Narrator: THIS IS "THE DIRT."

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET

WHEN PARKER SCHNABEL AND HIS CREW SHOW UP.

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE SELLING USED CARS WITH THIS HAT ON.

COME ON DOWN TO MAD MITCH'S -- [BLEEP]

DUDE, I GOT IT.

JUST LET ME GET IT. -HOW FAR ARE WE GOING?

-PARKER. BE CAREFUL AROUND HERE. -WHAT?

I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING FISHY GOING ON.

YOU TIRED? I'M TIRED OF THIS [BLEEP]

AFTER PARKER TRIED AND FAILED TO DEFEND

A COUPLE OF QUESTIONABLE WORK PURCHASES EARLIER THIS SEASON...

DID WE LOOK STUPID, PARKER? THAT'S A TOY.

IT'S A [BLEEP] TAX WRITE-OFF, BUT WE USE IT FOR WORK.

...HE AND HIS CREW TRY TO TAKE OUT THEIR FRUSTRATIONS

ON THE "GOLD RUSH" PRODUCTION TEAM.

-DID YOU GET HIT? -OH, YEAH.

RIGHT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.

RIGHT IN THE, UH, BABY MAKERS THERE.

YEAH.

[ LAUGHS ] NOT GOOD!

Narrator: TO BLOW OFF EVEN MORE STEAM, WE SET UP A CREW CONFESSIONAL.

BUT PARKER TOOK THINGS A BIT TOO FAR.

♪

GUYS, WELCOME BACK. CHRIS.

CHRISTO. MITCH.

AND PARKER SCHNABEL. HOW'S IT GOING?

WE'VE TALKED A LOT ABOUT PARKER

TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF THIS SEASON,

AND I THINK THAT'S BEEN TRUE, RIGHT?

I MEAN, HE'S MADE A CONCERTED EFFORT,

BUT YOU GUYS ALL GET A LITTLE FRUSTRATED, STIR-CRAZY.

WHEN WE WERE UP THERE, WE SET UP A LITTLE CREW CONFESSIONAL.

UH-OH. OH, BOY.

YES. IT'S INTERESTING. CHECK IT OUT.

WELL, I GUESS HERE WE GO AGAIN.

THEY HAVE THE CONFESSIONAL ON "THE DIRT."

THIS IS WHERE WE CAN BREAK LOOSE

AND SAY WHATEVER WE WANT ABOUT ANYTHING AND ANYONE.

[BLEEP] MITCH!

SOMEHOW, WORKING ON EVERY SINGLE THING HERE IS COMPARABLE

TO EITHER A WILL FERRELL MOVIE OR WORKING ON HIS '67 NOVA.

I WISH I WAS WORKING ON A '67 NOVA.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT SATISFYING,

IS TRYING TO CONVINCE DOUMITT TO DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE.

IT'S A LOT OF HARD WORK.

IT REALLY IS. EVEN MY JOB.

IT'S LIKE EVERY SHOVELFUL, HE'S DOING THE WORLD A [BLEEP] FAVOR.

"OH, GOD, MY BACK! AAH!"

YOU KNOW, AS I SIT HERE AND I THINK, I'M LIVING THE LIFE.

I REALLY AM.

"BUT YOU'RE WELCOME, EVERYONE,

FOR CLEANING GOLD FOR THREE HOURS A DAY!"

I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

YOU KNOW WHEN HE'S PERFECTLY HEALTHY?

EVERY WEEKEND, WHEN HE GOES TO PLAY A [BLEEP] GAME OF GOLF.

[ LAUGHS ] TELL ME ABOUT HOW THAT WORKS!

WOW!

I THINK WE NEED TO TAKE A BREAK.

DOUMITT IS NOT HAPPY.

[ LAUGHING ]

OH, BOY. I TELL YOU WHAT.

WE GOT TO GET HIM DRINKING BEER MORE.

I MEAN, WE GOT SOME GOOD STUFF OUT OF HIM.

YEAH, HE OPENED RIGHT UP, DIDN'T HE?

YEAH, CHRIS IS GONNA SNAP YOUR NECK.

WELL, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA LET IT GO.

YOU ARE?

-OH, HECK, YEAH. -NO, HE'S NOT.

UNTIL WE WALK AWAY FROM THIS TABLE.

Narrator: BUT DOUMITT DID NOT LET IT GO.

AND IN THIS NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE

FROM THE CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR, PARKER DEFENDS HIMSELF --

AND NOT VERY WELL.

THAT'S THE MOST ANIMATED I THINK I'VE EVER SEEN YOU

ON TELEVISION IN NINE YEARS. YEAH, IT WAS CRAZY.

I WAS OVER-SERVED.

YOU WERE OVER-SERVED.

CHRIS WORKS HIS ASS OFF,

AND HE KNOWS THAT, AND HE KNOWS THAT I KNOW THAT.

HE'S THE ONE GUY IN THE MINES

THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO OFFEND.

YOU OFFENDED EVERYONE.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE ELSE.

JUST CHRIS. RIGHT.

NO, GENUINELY, I FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT,

BECAUSE IN THE MOMENT, IT WAS VERY GOOD-SPIRITED.

BUT I SHOULDN'T SAY THAT KIND OF [BLEEP]

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

I SHOULDN'T SAY THAT KIND OF [BLEEP] ON CAMERA.

LET ME REFEREE HERE. LET ME REFEREE.

HE'S APOLOGIZING, WHICH IS FINE.

LET ME REFEREE HERE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY THAT WAS BAD,

THAT YOU FEEL SO BAD ABOUT?

THAT HE COMPLAINS? NO, NO.

CHRIS IS A VERY HARD WORKER,

AND HE DOESN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WORK.

YOU KNOW, PARKER, THAT DIDN'T HURT NEAR AS BAD

AS WHEN YOU DID ON CAMERA SAY HOW MY JOB IS,

WHAT, MEANINGLESS AND NONPRODUCTIVE.

WELL, SEE, THERE'S A LOT OF EVIDENCE

AGAINST ME STACKING UP HERE.

WELL, WAIT TILL WE PLAY THE CLIP OVER AND OVER AND OVER HERE.

YOU GUYS GOT TO FIND THAT. SOMEWHERE THERE'S A --

NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO FIND THAT.

NO. YEAH, IT'S CLASSIC.

IT'S CLASSIC.

Narrator: SORRY, PARKER, BUT WE FOUND IT.

OH, WE FOUND IT.

OH, SOME NEW CAMERA GUY COMES IN.

PARKER AND I ARE DOING A CLEANUP.

AND THIS POOR SOUL GOES,

"PARKER, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART OF A CLEANUP?"

NO, I [BLEEP] HATE THIS PROCESS.

CLEANUP WILL BRING YOU NO FURTHER TO YOUR GOAL.

OH, HE HATES THEM WITH A PASSION.

SO HE GOES ON --

"IT'S NONPRODUCTIVE. IT'S WORTHLESS."

THERE'S NO DIRT BEING MOVED.

THEY'RE NOT ADDING ANYTHING TO THE MINING PROCESS.

IT'S JUST A NECESSARY [BLEEP] STUPID-ASS THING.

"IT'S TIME-CONSUMING. THERE'S NO VALUE IN IT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE, WHAT ARE WE CONTRIBUTING

TO FURTHER OUR SEASON RIGHT NOW?

THERE'S, WHAT, SIX GUYS HERE DOING [BLEEP] NOTHING.

WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE, I LOOK AT HIM AND GO,

"YOU JUST DESCRIBED MY JOB."

I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF,

AND I WANT TO TAKE SUCH PRIDE IN MY WORTHLESS, MEANINGLESS JOB.

I SURE HOPE HE HIRES ME BACK NEXT YEAR.

I CAN HANDLE THE REST OF THIS.

YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO SUCH MEANINGLESS TASKS?

[ LAUGHS ] OH [BLEEP] FUNNY.

ANYWAY...

I'M GONNA SHUT UP NOW 'CAUSE I JUST TEND TO --

CHRIS WOULD SNAP YOUR NECK SO FAST.

HE'S GOT THE STRONGEST GRIP. -HE MIGHT SNAP YOUR ARM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Laughing ] OHH! WOW. OOH.

-WELL PLAYED! WELL PLAYED! -YEAH. HEY.

WOW, THAT'S GONNA -- YOU'RE GONNA HEAR THAT

FOR YEARS AND YEARS. -OH, MAN.

AND NOW TIME FOR A STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE.

TONIGHT, WE'RE COUNTING DOWN THE TOP FIVE MOMENTS

IN "GOLD RUSH" HISTORY.

WE ASKED YOU, THE VIEWER,

TO WEIGH IN ON THE MOST MEMORABLE SCENES.

AND WITH NEARLY NINE SEASONS OF "GOLD RUSH,"

WE HAD PLENTY TO CHOOSE FROM.

IF IT WERE MY MONEY, I'D GO FOR IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, TODD, IT'S NOT THE FIGHT THAT THE DOG'S IN.

IT'S THE FIGHT THAT'S IN THE DOG.

OUR COUNTDOWN KICKS OFF WITH THE NUMBER-FIVE

GREATEST "GOLD RUSH" MOMENT OF ALL TIME.

THE HOFFMANS' FIRST YEAR IN THE YUKON

PROVED TO BE AN EPIC STRUGGLE.

YOU WANT TO GO HOME STUPID, OR YOU WANT TO GO HOME SMART?

WHEN OLD MAN WINTER THREATENED TO FREEZE THEM OUT

OF THEIR LAST-AVAILABLE PAY...

FROZE UP SOLID, TODD.

...JACK HOFFMAN CAME THROUGH WITH A HOT IDEA

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ORIGINAL "GOLD RUSH" PLAYBOOK.

THE OLD BOYS BACK IN THE 1800s

USED TO BUILD FIRES DOWN IN THEIR PITS.

THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY THEY HAD

OF THAWING IT OUT, YOU KNOW?

YOU MUST BE JOKING. I THINK IT'LL WORK.

HEY, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A CAMPFIRE.

WE'RE NOT GONNA ROAST WEENIES.

WE'RE GONNA MELT THIS GROUND.

IT'S GONNA BE THE FIRES FROM HELL.

WE'RE JUST INCHES AWAY FROM IT.

AND I'M NOT LEAVING IT HERE.

I WANT TO TAKE THAT HOME.

[ AIR HORN BLARES ]

♪

NOW WE'RE GOOD.

♪

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE WANTED. [ LAUGHS ]

IT WORKED!

♪

COMING UP...

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

HI, EVERYONE.

Narrator: IN NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE,

KARLA DOES HER BEST TO JUSTIFY SOME SHOCKINGLY LOW GOLD TOTALS

TO RICK AND THE MILWAUKEE BOYS.

I'M JUST PULLING OUT

EVERY SINGLE RUMPELSTILTSKIN STUFF OUT

AND LOOKING AT, LIKE... WHAT IS THAT, DUDE?

THAT MEANS SHE'S STEALING GOLD. [ LAUGHTER ]

AND ZEE DELVES DEEPER INTO THE BRUSH WITH DEATH

THAT LEFT HIM A CHANGED MAN.

I HAD TWO I.V.s IN ME, A CATHETER, A STENT.

WHEN I WOKE UP, THEN KIND OF THE SEVERITY KIND OF HIT,

AND I WAS LIKE -- YOU KNOW,

YOU START TO TAKE NOTES OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS.

♪

♪

[ TIRES SCREECH, CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]

GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT [BLEEP]

RICK NESS IS A MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.

HI, EVERYONE.

Narrator: ...AND ALWAYS AIMS TO PLEASE.

BEST GIFT EVER RECEIVED.

A HUG FROM CHRISTO DOYLE.

AND WHEN HE HAS THE MILWAUKEE BOYS WITH HIM...

I THOUGHT ZEE WAS GONNA PUKE TODAY.

...THE SITUATION OFTEN DETERIORATES QUICKLY.

IS HE PICASSO'ing ANOTHER TOILET?

WE HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE ON "THE DIRT."

THERE'S NO DENYING THIS CREW KEEPS THINGS INTERESTING.

IS ANYONE ELSE'S MICROPHONE BOX DIGGING IN THEIR BACK?

I KEISTERED MINE.

IT'S A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE. [ LAUGHTER ]

Narrator: AND WHEN WE CALLED OUT RICK

ON A PARTICULARLY ASSERTIVE COMMENT,

HIS TEAM DID NOT HOLD BACK.

♪

RICK, A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, YOU GOT A LITTLE OVERCONFIDENT.

I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A BAD IDEA

TO BRING ROOKIES UP HERE, BUT WHERE WE'RE AT RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE OF THAT AND BECAUSE THEY STEPPED UP --

I MEAN, I PRETTY MUCH MUST BE THE SMARTEST PERSON ALIVE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

-OHH! -OH, MY GOSH.

-OH, DISGUSTING! -WOW!

-THAT IS HORRIBLE. -OH.

-WOW! -OH, MY GOD.

I SAID THAT? YEAH.

WOW.

THAT IS -- THAT'S GROSS. -THAT'S BAD.

BUT WE DIDN'T LET RICK OFF THE HOOK THAT EASY.

THERE WAS EVEN MORE TO THIS CONVERSATION

THAT HIT THE CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR...

LOCKED AWAY IN OUR VAULT UNTIL NOW.

♪

I THINK YOU MAY HAVE POSSIBLY JINXED YOURSELF

A LITTLE BIT THERE. YEAH, I'LL BET.

YEAH, THAT WAS AWFUL. KARMA IS A BITCH.

DON'T EVER SHOW ME THAT AGAIN.

[ Distorted voice ] I MEAN, I PRETTY MUCH MUST BE

THE SMARTEST -- SMARTEST -- SMARTEST PERSON ALIVE.

PERSON ALIVE.

YOU COULD TELL BY MY FACE, THOUGH,

LIKE, I WAS TRYING TO BE FUNNY.

RIGHT.

-BUT YOU WEREN'T FUNNY. -NO.

-YOU STILL JINXED US. -NOT FUNNY, RIGHT?

NO, THE JOKE WAS ON US.

BUT AFTER THAT WILD STATEMENT, KARMA CAUGHT YOU.

-THAT'S IT? -YEAH, YIKES.

-THAT'S ALL OF IT. -YOU HAD, LIKE,

A 32-OUNCE CLEANUP AND THEN A 28-OUNCE CLEANUP.

THAT'S A [BLEEP] JOKE.

ARE YOU ALSO WORRIED THAT, ON "GOLD RUSH,"

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOOK LIKE IDIOTS?

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THE TV SHOW?

MM... NO.

-I DON'T. -NO.

-NO, NO. -AT THAT POINT,

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO MOVE AHEAD...

YOU WERE MORE PISSED AT RICK.

...AND GET OUR GOLD, YOU KNOW?

THE GOLD WAS THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND, YOU KNOW.

KARLA, TELL ME, ARE YOU FEELING THE PRESSURE IN THE GOLD ROOM?

OH, ABSOLUTELY, AND I'M JUST PULLING OUT EVERY SINGLE TRICK

AND PULLING SOME RUMPELSTILTSKIN STUFF OUT

AND LOOKING AT, LIKE... WHAT IS THAT, DUDE?

THAT MEANS SHE'S STEALING GOLD. [ LAUGHTER ]

-HUH? -OH, YEAH.

THAT'S WHY YOU HAD 28 AND 32,

'CAUSE SHE HAD 20 IN HER POCKET.

-NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. -RIGHT.

LIKE, TRYING TO JUST MAKE IT ALL HAPPEN, AND --

LITTLE HEAVY POCKETS OVER HERE.

-YEAH, RIGHT? -NO, YEAH, I WAS --

SMUGGLING GOLD IN HER LEGGINGS.

ANYWHERE I COULD, YEAH.

YEAH, WHERE ACTUALLY -- YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE POCKETS.

WHERE WERE YOU PUTTING IT?

[ LAUGHS ]

THERE'S ONLY SO MANY TRICKS YOU CAN PULL OUT.

-RIGHT. -AND...

AND ONLY SO MUCH ROOM IN THE OLD PRISON WALLET.

-[ LAUGHS ] -WHAT?

ARE YOU FREAKING WHEN YOU SEE THE 28 OUNCES,

GOING, "MAN, WE ARE SCREWED"?

YEAH, I'M KIND OF LIKE, "HEY, RICK,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS." "THERE'S NO GOLD IN HERE."

-KARLA. -HI, EVERYONE.

-YOU GOT GOLD? -[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

THE WEIRD THING WITH KARLA, THOUGH,

IS, LIKE, I COULD NEVER READ HOW -- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, I'D WALK IN THE GOLD ROOM,

AND SHE'D BE LIKE, "HEY!" YOU KNOW, ALL HAPPY.

THE KEY IS, SHE'S NOT WALKING AROUND BUMMED OUT.

YEAH, AND ALL HAPPY. IT'S NOT KARLA'S NATURE.

SO I'M LIKE, "YEAH? YEAH?" AND THEN...

"YEAH? IS IT LOOKING GOOD, KARLA?"

"NO."

"WHAT?! AW!" YEAH. RIGHT.

ARE THERE ANY, LIKE, MANAGEMENT TENSIONS, RICK?

LIKE, YOU KNOW, SO-AND-SO DOESN'T WANT

TO RUN THIS PIECE OF EQUIPMENT, WOULD RATHER BE DOING THIS?

I MEAN, ARE THERE PEOPLE, LIKE, SAYING,

"CAN I GET OUT OF THE DAMN ROCK TRUCK?" OR...

WELL, NOT NECESSARILY SAYING IT WITH WORDS.

[BLEEP]

HEY, WATER ALL OVER [BLEEP]

BUT YOU CAN SEE IT WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR FACES

AND THEIR ATTITUDES. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

RIGHT.

[BLEEP] I JUST HIT THE SLUICE BOX.

JUST ANOTHER [BLEEP] SANDWICH FOR BEN.

♪

[ CHUCKLES ]

YES, PLEASE.

COULD I HAVE SOME MAYONNAISE ON MY [BLEEP] SANDWICH?

THESE GUYS MADE IT SUPER-TOLERABLE OUT THERE

WITH THEIR HUMOR AND ATTITUDES. THEY DID.

I THINK THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT GOT YOU GUYS THROUGH, IS HUMOR.

-I CONCUR. -I CAN BE IN THAT THING

AND JUST KEEP MYSELF ENTERTAINED FOR HOURS.

WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LIKE, 5:00, YOU GET ROAD RAGE.

ROAD RAGE ABOUT 4:30. -YEAH.

[ SCREAMS ]

[BLEEP] [BLEEP]

[ SCREAMS ] [BLEEP]

[ GRUMBLES ]

IS THERE ANY REASON, RICK, THAT YOU WOULD WANT

TO, LIKE, MOVE PEOPLE AROUND?

I MEAN, I KNOW THEY GET GOOD AT ONE THING,

AND YOU WANT THAT. YEAH.

BUT, LIKE, FOR SANITY,

WOULD IT MAKE SENSE TO SWITCH PEOPLE AROUND?

HONESTLY, IT REALLY WOULD,

AND I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT A LOT, TOO.

BUT, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE DOING

ANYTHING BUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

AND THAT'S NOT TO SPEAK BAD ABOUT ANYONE.

THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS.

I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE, TOO. YOU'RE RUNNING SOMETHING.

YOU'RE WATCHING SOMEBODY ELSE. YOU'RE LIKE,

"MAN, THAT LOOKS WAY MORE FUN THAN WHAT I'M DOING."

-RIGHT. -IN ACTUALITY, IT'S NOT, THOUGH.

AND IT AIN'T. YEAH.

BUT RICK NESS AND CREW DO KNOW WHEN TO GET SERIOUS.

NOTHING HIT THEM HARDER THIS SEASON

THAN ZEE'S TERRIFYING BRUSH WITH DEATH

AFTER EMERGENCY KIDNEY-STONE SURGERY

LED TO A LIFE-THREATENING BLOOD CLOT.

♪

SO, I WENT IN, HAD SURGERY.

BUT RIGHT AWAY, YOU FEEL BETTER?

NO, ACTUALLY.

AFTER I GOT RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL,

I WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL, AND I STARTED FEELING SICK.

IT RAPIDLY GOT WORSE,

TO THE POINT WHERE I GOT IN THE TRUCK

AND JUST DROVE TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

AND I HAD KIND OF, LIKE, TUNNEL VISION.

I JUST SAW THE DOORS FOR THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

AND I'M LIKE -- AT THAT POINT, I WAS LIKE,

"I JUST NEED TO GET THROUGH THOSE DOORS."

AND WHAT'D THEY FIND?

THAT I HAD INTERNAL BLEEDING, THE BLOOD CLOT.

SO, WAS YOUR LIFE EVER IN DANGER?

UH, YEAH, A LITTLE BIT.

HAD TO, LIKE, BAG ME.

HE COULDN'T WAKE ME BACK UP OUT OF THE SECOND SURGERY.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF THEY DID CHEST COMPRESSIONS

'CAUSE, LIKE, MY CHEST WAS BRUISED AND HURT, SO...

-GOOD LORD! -YEAH, I DON'T THINK WE REALIZED

HOW CLOSE HE WAS TO DEATH. -YEAH.

IN THIS PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN CLIP FROM OUR VAULT,

ZEE REVEALS EVEN MORE SKETCHY DETAILS OF HIS HARROWING STORY.

♪

I MEAN, THIS GOT SERIOUS.

YEAH, BIG-TIME. VERY SERIOUS.

AND THE BLOOD CLOT COULD PASS TO YOUR LUNG, RIGHT?

YEP, YEP. AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE?

IS YOUR WIFE FLYING UP? I HAVEN'T CALLED HER YET.

-OH, MY LORD. -OH, MY GOD.

SO, WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND.

FOR DAYS, YOU HAVE A KIDNEY STONE AND IN INCREDIBLE PAIN...

-WEEKS. -WEEKS.

WEEKS YOU HAVE A KIDNEY STONE, AND YOU DON'T --

-MONTHS. -MONTH AND A HALF.

BUT THEN IT GETS SERIOUS. YOU DON'T CALL YOUR WIFE.

NO, NO, SHE KNEW I WAS GOING --

OH, SORRY. LET ME REPHRASE --

YOU DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT THE BLOOD CLOT.

WHEN I STARTED FEELING SICK.

SHE KNEW I WAS THERE FOR THE SURGERY.

SHE WANTED TO COME UP AND -- YOU KNOW,

IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU DON'T --

IT SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY NORMAL PROCEDURE.

THEY'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR A WHILE.

IT'S ALSO A LONG WAY FOR HER TO DRIVE.

IT'S JUST A LONG WAY, LIKE,

TO COME UP THERE JUST FOR THAT.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER -- GOING INTO THIS,

YOU NEVER THINK THERE'S GONNA BE A PROBLEM, SO...

RIGHT. SO, HOW DOES IT RESOLVE?

I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM.

I HAD LIKE TWO I.V.s IN ME, A CATHETER, A STENT.

AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, SOMETHING'S" --

WHEN I WOKE UP, THEN KIND OF THE SEVERITY KIND OF HIT,

AND I WAS LIKE --

AFTER SEEING ALL THE STUFF ON ME,

AND I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT... WOW.

...WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?" AND, YOU KNOW,

YOU START TO TAKE NOTES

OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS AND WHATNOT, SO...

DID YOU EVER SEE A BRIGHT LIGHT?

NO, I THINK I'M GOING THE OTHER WAY.

-OH. -OH.

[ LAUGHS ] LOOK AT HIS FACE.

I ACTUALLY JUST SHOVED A GOLD NUGGET

UP MY PEE HOLE FOR MORE AIRTIME.

[ LAUGHS ]

WELL, YOU GOT IT.

NOW YOU GOT MORE ON "THE DIRT."

[ LAUGHS ]

AND NOW, AS DETERMINED BY YOU, THE LOYAL FANS,

OUR COUNTDOWN OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS

IN "GOLD RUSH" HISTORY CONTINUES.

SIX SEASONS AGO, RICK NESS' MINING CAREER

GOT OFF TO A ROCKY START.

FIRST JOB -- FAIL.

BUT OVER THE YEARS,

HE BECAME AN INTEGRAL PART OF PARKER'S TEAM.

[ GROUP CHEERING ]

EVENTUALLY, RICK SAW THE OPPORTUNITY

TO GO OUT ON HIS OWN,

AND HIS LEAP FROM MINER TO MINE BOSS...

[BLEEP] DOING IT.

[ GROUP CHEERING ]

...IS THE NUMBER-FOUR ALL-TIME "GOLD RUSH" MOMENT.

RICK'S ARRIVAL ON HIS OWN KLONDIKE CLAIM

AS HIS OWN BOSS WITH HIS OWN CREW...

FINALLY MADE IT. [BLEEP] MADE IT, DUDE.

BOOM!

Narrator: ...WAS TRULY A DEFINING MOMENT.

RIGHT HERE, GUYS, IS OUR FREEDOM.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR US TO RUN OUR FIRST GROUND

AND FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE THAT FIRST GOLD IN THAT SLUICE BOX.

AND I'M GONNA BE JUST AS EXCITED AS YOU

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SEEING IT FOR A WHILE,

BUT THIS IS OUR [BLEEP] GOLD, MAN.

THIS IS OUR YEAR. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.

IT'S FOR THAT GOLD STUFFED IN THE GROUND.

THIS IS WHY I BROUGHT YOU GUYS UP HERE.

WE'RE GONNA PULL OUR FIRST MILLION FROM RIGHT HERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

COMING UP...

IN THIS NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE,

THE BEETS TACKLE A QUESTION AS OLD AS TIME.

Woman: DO YOU THINK SIZE MATTERS?

AYE.

PROBABLY HOW YOU USE IT, RIGHT?

THERE IS SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE.

IT WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Narrator: AND THEN, THE TOP-THREE MOMENTS

IN "GOLD RUSH" HISTORY ARE FINALLY REVEALED.

WELL, GUYS, THERE SHE IS. THAT'S THE DREDGE.

WHAT MORE -- WHAT MORE WILL THEY ASK FOR?

Jack: YOU'RE ALL MILLIONAIRES.

THE ONLY THING IS, YOU GOT TO GET IT OUT OF THE GROUND.

YOU KNOW? [ LAUGHTER ]

♪

♪

HO, HO, HO. OFF WE GO.

WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING OVER HERE?

I GET LOST?

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT BY HAND, WE PUT IT ON HANDMADE.

Christo: ARE YOU A BIG CRAFTER?

HEY, MAN, IF I CAN'T FIX IT, I [BLEEP] IT,

SO I WOULD BE A GOOD CONTESTANT.

WHEN THE BEETS FAMILY COMES TO VISIT...

THAT'S IT! WRONG SHOW!

...AND THEY EVENTUALLY FIND THE RIGHT SET...

WELL, HELLO, EVERYBODY!

...I ALWAYS KNOW I'M GONNA LEARN SOMETHING NEW,

LIKE TONY'S HIDDEN TALENTS.

BACK IT UP. BACK IT UP.

PULL IT UP. MIKE, MIKE, MIKE.

HOOK IT UP. BACK IT UP.

HURRY UP. MIKE, MIKE, MIKE.

I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE A CAREER AS A RAPPER.

HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW.

ALL WE NEED TO DO IS GET YOU A GOLD CHAIN.

♪ ROLLIN' 'ROUND IN THAT MONEY ♪

♪ ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLL, ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLL ♪

♪ ROLLIN' 'ROUND IN THAT MONEY ♪

Narrator: AND I CONTINUE TO BE AMAZED BY THE THINGS TONY CAN'T DO.

THE LIST OF THINGS THAT YOU'VE NEVER DONE

IS PRETTY FASCINATING TO ME, TONY.

WRITE A CHECK, TIE YOUR SHOES, ALPHABET.

YEAH. MONTHS OF THE YEAR.

MONTHS OF THE YEAR? THERE'S ONLY 12 OF THEM.

I KNOW. BUT I MANAGE TO [BLEEP] THAT UP SOMEHOW.

IT'S THE SAME WITH COMPUTERS.

YEAH, BUT DO YOU HAVE A SMARTPHONE?

NO. YOU HAVE AN iPHONE.

I HAVE AN iPHONE NOW.

THAT IS A SMARTPHONE. YEAH.

OH, IT IS? [ LAUGHS ]

NO MATTER WHAT, ONE THING IS FOR SURE.

WE HIT THE JACKPOT WHEN WE FOUND TONY BEETS.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT. YOU THINK SO?

[ LAUGHS ]

BUT THE MOST MEMORABLE BEETS LESSON OCCURRED

WHEN WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT NEW CREW MEMBER RUBY.

♪

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET BACK INTO IT.

YOU GUYS HAD RUBY STEP IN TO HELP WITH THE PLANT.

HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN RUNNING EQUIPMENT?

HOW EXPERIENCED IS SHE?

LAST YEAR WAS HER FIRST YEAR, SO LIKE TWO YEARS?

SOME PEOPLE PICK IT UP LIKE NOTHING.

OTHER PEOPLE, THEY'LL NEVER GET IT.

REALLY? SO IT'S A CERTAIN TYPE OF PERSON

THAT CAN RUN THAT EQUIPMENT.

SOME PEOPLE ARE QUICKER THAN OTHERS.

YEAH. THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

WHAT'S IT ABOUT? WHAT'S THE KEY TO IT?

REFLEXES?

FEEL IT IN YOUR ASS.

WHAT? DID SHE SAY YOU CAN FEEL IT IN YOUR ASS?

-YEAH. -WHOO!

-OH. -LIKE, RUNNING THE DOZER

OR THE LOADER OR -- YOU CAN FEEL IT.

YOU NEVER HAVE THAT WHEN YOU DRIVE A CAR?

NO, I DO, BUT I'VE JUST NEVER USED THE EXPRESSION

"I CAN FEEL IT IN MY ASS." -WITH YOUR ASS.

WITH YOUR ASS.

NOT "IN." "WITH."

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

[ Laughing ] YEAH, THERE IS DEFINITELY A DIFFERENCE.

I UNDERSTAND GETTING THE KNACK OF SOMETHING,

BUT THAT'S TAKING IT TO A WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL.

♪

Narrator: WHEN WE FINALLY GOT IT TOGETHER,

IT WAS TIME TO GET SERIOUS AND TALK DREDGES.

IN THIS NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN CLIP,

WE DIG INTO THE MOST IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN DREDGE 1 AND DREDGE 2.

♪

IF AND WHEN YOU GET THIS MONSTER BUILT, TONY,

HOW WILL DREDGE 2 BE DIFFERENT THAN DREDGE 1?

WELL, FOR ONE, IT'S NEWER.

IT'S IN WAY BETTER SHAPE.

AND IT'S ALMOST TWICE THE SIZE.

SO MORE YARDAGE, MORE GOLD.

50% THE SIZE.

I THINK IT'LL HANDLE ALL THAT BEDROCK,

ALL THEM ROCKS BETTER THAN NUMBER 1.

YEAH, THERE'S A LOT MORE ROOM IN THE TROMMEL.

THAT'S RIGHT, SO...

KICKER'S BIGGER. YEP.

WELL, WE ALL KNOW DREDGE 2 IS BIGGER.

MM-HMM.

BUT THE QUESTION IS, DOES THAT MATTER?

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

♪

Narrator: THERE'S AN AGE-OLD QUESTION

THAT HAS DOGGED MAN FOR CENTURIES.

A CONUNDRUM SO PERPLEXING IT AMUSES SOME

WHILE FRUSTRATING OTHERS.

Woman: DO YOU THINK SIZE MATTERS?

WELL, I MEAN, THE BIGGER IT IS, THE MORE...

AYE.

'CAUSE IT'S ABOUT THE SIZE, ISN'T IT?

PROBABLY HOW YOU USE IT, RIGHT?

THERE IS SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE.

WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I THINK -- I THINK TONY BEETS WOULD AGREE WITH THIS.

SIZE MATTERS.

[ LAUGHS ] YEAH.

IT'S ABOUT THE OPERATOR, CLEARLY.

YEAH, IT'S ABOUT...

UH, YOU GUYS

KNOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT DREDGES, RIGHT?

WHAT? [ LAUGHS ]

WHAT WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SIZE TOTALLY MATTERS WHEN IT COMES TO DREDGE. YEAH.

D2 IS MUCH BIGGER THAN D1.

AND IT'S GONNA GET A LOT MORE GOLD.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

IT HAS TO MATCH THE CREEK IT GOES ON.

IF WE WOULD HAVE A BIG DREDGE THAT CAN DIG 100 FEET DOWN,

THAT'D BE NO GOOD IN EUREKA.

EUREKA'S ONLY 14 FEET DEEP.

WELL, YOU SLUICE MORE MATERIAL IN AND OUT.

SO YOU GET AN OUNCE AN HOUR IN THE OTHER ONE.

MAYBE YOU GET AN OUNCE AND A HALF IN THE NEW ONE.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN SIZE, AND THAT'S THROUGH THE OUTCOME

OF THE MONEY YOU'RE GONNA MAKE WITH IT.

I THINK HE'LL ALWAYS LOVE HIS SMALLER DREDGE.

IT'LL ALWAYS BE IN HIS HEART A BIT,

BUT, I MEAN, A BIGGER DREDGE IS BETTER

THAN A SMALLER DREDGE IN HIS EYES,

AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE'S GONNA FOCUS ON, YES.

YEAH, I GUESS YOU CAN JUST GET THROUGH A LOT MORE DIRT

WITH A BIGGER DREDGE.

BUT YOU HAVE TO USE IT CORRECTLY.

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY DREDGE INNUENDO.

I CAN'T DO IT.

[ CHUCKLING ]

ENOUGH OF THE FUN AND GAMES, THOUGH, TONY.

WILL DREDGE 2 -- I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S BIGGER, YOU KNOW,

AND IT CAN DIG DEEPER, BUT IT'LL RUN A LOT MORE YARDAGE?

YES. THE BUCKETS ARE TWICE AS BIG.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GONNA RUN IT?

YEP.

ARE YOU WILLING TO TALK ABOUT IT?

-NO. -YEAH, WELL...

-[ LAUGHS ] -HELLO!

[ LAUGHTER ]

Narrator: AND NOW THE COUNTDOWN

OF THE GREATEST "GOLD RUSH" MOMENTS ROLLS ON.

I'M HOPING TO BRING HISTORY BACK TO LIFE.

WHEN TONY BEETS MADE THE MONUMENTAL DECISION

TO REVIVE A 75-YEAR-OLD, $1 MILLION MINING RELIC...

WELL, GUYS, THERE SHE IS. THAT'S THE DREDGE.

Narrator: ...MANY OF US WERE SKEPTICAL.

ARE YOU NUTS?

AFTER TAKING MONTHS TO DISMANTLE,

TRUCK, AND REASSEMBLE...

GIVE ME BOLTS, GIVE ME BOLTS, GIVE ME BOLTS.

Narrator: ...THE MAMMOTH DREDGE,

THE MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION REMAINED --

WILL THIS GOLD-MINING DINOSAUR CATCH GOLD?

TONY BEETS RUNNING DREDGE NUMBER 1 FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME

IS YOUR FAN-FAVORITE NUMBER-THREE

GREATEST "GOLD RUSH" MOMENT.

LET'S FIRE IT UP.

[ DREDGE WHIRRING ]

THERE! BINGO!

FIRE UP THE STACKER.

-IT RUNS! -FIRE UP THE BUCKETS!

LOOK AT THAT GO! [ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S THE FIRST BUCKET OF DIRT, GUYS!

ISN'T THAT AWESOME?!

IT WORKS!

[ LAUGHS ]

WELL, LET'S CHECK IF THERE'S ANY GOLD IN THAT BOX.

WELL?

IS THERE GOLD IN THERE, OR IS THERE GOLD IN THERE?

I CALL THAT A SUCCESS.

♪

COMING UP...

IN ANOTHER CLIP FROM OUR VAULT...

OHH! OHH!

...THE CREW FROM "PARKER'S TRAIL"

SHARES A FEW MORE WILD TALES

FROM THEIR UPCOMING ADVENTURE IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA.

FRED SAW A GHOST.

YEAH, LITERALLY. I SAW A GHOST.

IT WAS FREAKY. [ GUNSHOT ]

AND LATER, YOUR TOP-TWO GREATEST MOMENTS

IN "GOLD RUSH" HISTORY.

EVERY ONE OF THOSE IS 100 OUNCES.

OH!

WE GOT GOLD!

THAT GLORY HOLE MATERIAL -- SHE BE SOME GOOD STUFF.

REALLY GOOD STUFF.

♪

♪

SHUT IT DOWN.

THE "GOLD RUSH" SEASON MIGHT BE WRAPPING UP.

THAT AIN'T GOOD.

BUT AN ALL-NEW SEASON OF "PARKER'S TRAIL"

WILL PREMIERE MARCH 29th.

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOMETHING. SEE?

PARKER AND HIS TRAIL CREW TOOK TO THE WILDS OF PAPUA NEW GUINEA

IN SEARCH OF GOLD AND ADVENTURE.

IN THIS PLACE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A POLICE ESCORT.

PARKER!

Parker: YOU SURVIVE OR YOU DIE TOGETHER.

THAT'S A TEAM.

WHEN THEY ARRIVED ON "THE DIRT"...

HOW DOES IT LOOK?

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU PUT A BOWL ON YOUR HEAD

AND THEN CUT AROUND IT.

...IT HAD BEEN A WHILE

SINCE THEY'D BEEN BACK IN CIVILIZATION.

HERE, THROW ONE IN MY MOUTH.

NO, THAT'S TOO -- OHH!

YOU GO. OHH! OHH!

-WHOA! -WHOO!

IT WAS ON THE FLOOR LIKE FOUR TIMES.

YEAH, YEAH.

BUT THEY HAD PLENTY TO SAY ABOUT THEIR EPIC JOURNEY.

♪

PARKER, KARLA, SAM, AND FRED.

-YEAH. YEAH, THANK YOU. -GOOD TO MEET YOU.

SO, YOU GUYS -- THE AUDIENCE KNOWS BY NOW --

"PARKER'S TRAIL."

YOU GUYS ARE HEADING OUT AGAIN.

DEEP IN THE JUNGLES OF PAPUA NEW GUINEA.

WHY PAPUA NEW GUINEA?

WE LOOKED AT A LOT OF PLACES AROUND THE WORLD.

AND IT HAD TO BE SOMEWHERE WITH GOLD,

AND IT HAD TO BE SOMEWHERE THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE

TO HAVE A BIG, CRAZY ADVENTURE.

AND PAPUA NEW GUINEA INSTANTLY TICKED BOTH OF THOSE BOXES.

AND, FRED, FILL ME IN ON YOUR BACKGROUND --

HOW YOU GOT TIED INTO THIS CRAZY CREW HERE.

MILITARY BACKGROUND. SPECIAL FORCES.

I WAS A LINGUIST.

I'VE BEEN ALL OVER THE WORLD.

SO I'VE JUST BEEN ITCHING

TO GET BACK OUT AND SEE THE WORLD AGAIN.

AND THIS WAS THE PERFECT AVENUE FOR IT.

WAS YOUR ROLE KIND OF TO TAKE CARE OF THESE GUYS A LITTLE BIT?

-A LOT. -WE KIND OF WORKED TOGETHER.

YEAH, KARLA AND I KIND OF WORKED TOGETHER.

AND IT WAS REALLY NICE TO HAVE HIM JUST TO --

-KIND OF GUIDING? -YEAH.

TELL ME ABOUT THE LITTLE SLIDE YOU TOOK THERE.

PARKER!

THERE WERE SOME INTERESTING MINING PRACTICES THAT WE SAW

AND GOT A LITTLE TOO INVOLVED IN.

IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS NO RULES,

AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T.

AND YOU JUMPED IN AFTER PARKER THERE.

I HAD TO. HE WAS GOING DOWN THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN.

AND THE END OF THAT WAS -- PSHH!

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE.

WERE YOU FREAKING OUT? YEAH.

YEAH. COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT.

THIS WASN'T THE ONLY MOMENT THAT SCARED THE CREW.

IN THIS NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN CLIP,

THE CREW REVEALS A STORY THAT WILL HAUNT THEM FOREVER.

PARKER, WHAT'S MOTIVATING YOU TO GO ON THESE ADVENTURES?

THE BIGGEST THING IS I JUST, LIKE,

GENUINELY LIKE THE ADVENTURE.

LIKE, WE SPENT THE NIGHT IN A JAPANESE WAR TUNNEL.

OH, GOD.

WITH, LIKE, MASSIVE CENTIPEDES,

LIKE, CRAWLING OUT OF HOLES IN THE WALLS.

-I WOULD NOT BE DOWN WITH THAT. -AND BATS.

AND BATS EVERYWHERE.

FRED SAW A GHOST.

I HEARD THAT.

IT WAS FREAKY. I THOUGHT IT WAS HIM

BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN BANGING SOME THINGS INTO THE WALL.

I THINK THAT WAS WHAT MADE HIM MAD.

HE WAS HANGING UP HIS SOCKS,

AND IT WAS LIKE 5:00 IN THE MORNING?

4:00 IN THE MORNING?

I HEAR, "BANG, BANG, BANG!"

AND I SIT UP, AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PARKER?"

AND THERE WAS JUST THIS SHADOWY THING

STANDING RIGHT THERE.

AND I OPENED UP MY LITTLE TENT TO SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING,

AND HE WAS GONE.

THEN I WAS LIKE, "WHO WAS OUT THERE?"

AND WOKE UP SAM. EVERYBODY WAS ASLEEP.

BUT, LITERALLY, IT WAS SOMEONE STANDING THERE POUNDING INTO THE WALL,

LIKE THEY WERE STILL DIGGING.

IT'S AN OLD JAPANESE MAN

DIGGING A TUNNEL FROM WORLD WAR II.

THERE WERE SOME REALLY CREEPY KIND OF --

YOU COULD JUST FEEL THE HISTORY IN THERE.

WELL, THE NEXT DAY, THE LOCALS SAID, "WE DON'T GO IN THERE."

THE LOCALS ARE TERRIFIED OF IT.

THEY JUST PASS BY, AND THEY'RE SCARED,

AND WE DECIDED TO SPEND THE NIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Christo: THE MOST MOVING PART

OF PARKER'S PAPUA NEW GUINEA JOURNEY

IS HIS ATTEMPT TO RECONNECT WITH HIS GRANDFATHER'S PAST.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY COOL TO DO THAT TRIP

AND THEN COME BACK AND BE ABLE TO TALK TO HIM.

PARKER TAKES STEPS TO RETRACE

JOHN SCHNABEL'S SOUTH PACIFIC WORLD WAR II EXPERIENCE.

THE PIECES THAT WE PUT TOGETHER HERE

ARE ALL THE ANSWERS I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO GET.

AND IN THIS PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN CLIP,

WE WERE ABLE TO DIG MUCH DEEPER INTO GRANDPA JOHN'S HISTORY.

PARKER, YOUR GRANDFATHER LIVED A FULL LIFE.

I MEAN, HE BLAZED A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT TRAILS.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE SOME OF THAT IN YOU?

YEAH, I MEAN, I'D LIKE TO THINK SO.

THE WORLD WAS A LOT DIFFERENT PLACE WHEN HE WAS 24.

THAT WAS 1944. -RIGHT. YEP.

SO IT'S REALLY TOUGH TO COMPARE,

BUT HE WAS NEVER ONE TO BACK AWAY

FROM A BIG ADVENTURE,

AND I'D LIKE TO THINK WE'RE DOING THE SAME.

SAM, YOU SPENT A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME

WITH GRANDPA JOHN, RIGHT?

YEAH. I MET JOHN AND PARKER AS A PACKAGE

WHEN, PARKER, YOU WERE, WHAT, 15?

-YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. -"GOLD RUSH" SEASON ONE.

AND I WAS IMMEDIATELY BLOWN AWAY BY HOW SIMILAR THEY WERE.

SAME NOSE. SAME LAUGH.

AND BOTH CLEARLY OBSESSED WITH GOLD MINING.

I FILMED WITH PARKER AND JOHN FOR THREE SEASONS,

AND I GOT TO KNOW JOHN PRETTY WELL.

FILMING WITH HIM WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW,

PARTICULARLY SEASON TWO,

WHERE JOHN WAS SORT OF HANDING OVER THE REINS TO PARKER.

AND PARKER KIND OF HAD TO --

YOU KNOW, HE WAS ON THIS MASSIVELY STEEP LEARNING CURVE

WITH 20 CAMERAS IN HIS FACE.

I THINK, OF ALL THE STUFF I FILMED ON "GOLD RUSH,"

I'M PROBABLY PROUDEST OF THAT, YEAH.

-IT WAS SO GENUINE. -YEAH.

Christo: PARKER, WE HAVE A PACKAGE

THAT KIND OF REMINDS PEOPLE ABOUT HIS AMAZING LIFE

AND HOW SIMILAR YOU TWO REALLY ARE.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

[ ALARM BLARING ]

I NORMALLY DO ABOUT 20, 30 OF THESE EACH WAY.

GET KIND OF LIMBERED UP A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW?

IT'S EASY TO SEE WHY "GOLD RUSH" FANS

HAVE SUCH A SOFT SPOT FOR GRANDPA JOHN SCHNABEL.

PARKER!

GREAT TO SEE YOU!

BUT JOHN SCHNABEL WAS NOT JUST

A BELOVED GRANDFATHER AND GOLD MINER.

OOH! THAT IS BEAUTIFUL!

[ LAUGHS ]

THIS WAS A MAN WHO TRULY KNEW HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

[ WHISTLE BLARES ]

♪

AFTER HIS ARRIVAL IN HAINES, ALASKA...

THIS IS WHERE I LANDED IN 1939.

Christo: ...JOHN SCHNABEL STARTED THE FIRST OF MANY CAREERS

WHEN HE SERVED IN WORLD WAR II.

AFTER I GOT BACK FROM THE SERVICE,

I MET MY WIFE, ERMA.

SO, I BOUGHT A PIECE OF LAND UP HERE,

AND I BUILT A HARDWARE STORE,

AND THE BACK LOT WAS A BIG LUMBER YARD.

I CAME OUT HERE IN 1966 AND BUILT THIS MILL.

I HAD 120 EMPLOYEES AT ITS PEAK, AND I RAN IT TILL 1983.

Christo: BUT JOHN WASN'T JUST

AN ENTREPRENEUR WITH A SUCCESSFUL LUMBER COMPANY.

I SERVED ON THE CITY COUNCIL,

AND THEN I SERVED AS MAYOR FOR A TERM.

I THINK IT'S BEEN A GOOD LIFE,

AND I WATCHED THIS COMMUNITY GROW FROM NOTHING TO WHAT IT IS.

BUT PERHAPS THE BEST PART OF GRANDPA JOHN'S LIFE

WAS SPENT WITH HIS FAMILY,

ESPECIALLY HIS GRANDSONS.

♪

I ACTUALLY BOUGHT BIG NUGGET MINE

AS A DESTINATION TO TAKE MY CHILDREN IN THE SUMMERTIME,

WHERE THEY COULD DIG THE GRAVELS,

FIND A LITTLE GOLD.

ROGER DIDN'T RESPOND TO IT, BUT MY GRANDSONS DID.

SO WE GO UP THERE, AND THERE'S NOBODY THERE BUT US,

AND SO WE JUST HAD A HECK OF A GOOD TIME.

FOR PARKER, IT WAS LIKE HIS PLAYGROUND.

SO, AS HE GOT OLDER

AND HE STARTED SPENDING MORE TIME KIND OF HANGING WITH JOHN,

I REALIZED HOW CONNECTED THEY WERE,

THAT THAT BOND WAS BIGGER THAN I EVEN SAW.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HE'S AN AMAZING MAN. REALLY -- WELL, HE IS A HERO.

BUT THAT'S WHAT HE'S ALWAYS BEEN.

Christo: AND WHEN PARKER MADE THE LEAP NORTH TO MINE IN THE YUKON,

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE YOUNG MINE BOSS

AND HIS GRANDFATHER BECAME EVEN STRONGER.

PARKER IS ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS JOHN WAS

WHEN HE LEFT HIS HOME AND MOVED TO ALASKA.

TO TAKE OFF AND HEAD TO THE YUKON

WAS NO DIFFERENT THAN JOHN SCHNABEL GOING TO ALASKA.

YOU LOOK AT THAT SIMILARITY AND THAT VISION THAT THEY BOTH HAD,

AND YOU THINK, "THESE ARE TWO PEAS IN A POD."

Nancy: THE RESEMBLANCE, PHYSICALLY, BETWEEN JOHN AND PARKER

IS SHOCKING EVEN TO ME.

IT IS LIKE, "WOW!

THAT IS LIKE A MINI-ME."

I THINK PARKER AND JOHN BOTH HAVE ALWAYS LIKED

THAT KIND OF SIMILARITY THING.

I THINK THAT THEY HAVE GOTTEN A BIG CHUCKLE OUT OF THAT.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ALIKE IN A LOT OF WAYS.

THEY'RE ALIKE IN A LOT OF WAYS.

WHILE GRANDPA JOHN IS NO LONGER WITH US,

IT'S CLEAR HIS LEGACY LIVES ON.

I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER MENTOR.

HE'S MADE A HUGE IMPACT ON A LOT OF PEOPLE'S LIVES, YOU KNOW?

MINE, ESPECIALLY.

AND NOW THE GREATEST "GOLD RUSH" MOMENTS CONTINUE.

CAN A GUY RISK IT ALL IN AMERICA ANYMORE?

THE FIRST SEASON OF "GOLD RUSH"

CERTAINLY HAD ITS SHARE OF UPS AND DOWNS.

WHERE IS THE GOLD?

DON'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY. DON'T TRY TO INTIMIDATE ME.

Christo: BUT BEYOND ROOKIE MINERS

AND THEIR ROOKIE MISTAKES...

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE NOTHING LIVES HERE EXCEPT BEARS.

...THE HOFFMANS' FIRST YEAR MINING WAS ALSO FULL OF HOPE...

WE GOT GOLD!

THAT GLORY-HOLE MATERIAL SHOULD BE SOME GOOD STUFF.

REALLY GOOD STUFF.

Christo: ...DETERMINATION...

NO GUTS, NO GLORY!

...AND A COMMON DREAM.

NOTHING EPITOMIZED THIS FEELING MORE THAN JACK'S ROUSING SPEECH

WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT THEIR VERY FIRST GOLD CLAIM,

PORCUPINE CREEK --

YOUR NUMBER-TWO GREATEST MOMENT IN "GOLD RUSH" HISTORY.

EVERYTHING YOU SEE RIGHT HERE IS OURS.

THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN TALKING ABOUT.

YOU'RE ALL MILLIONAIRES.

THE ONLY THING IS, YOU GOT TO GET IT OUT OF THE GROUND.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Jack: THERE ISN'T ONE MAN IN AMERICA,

IF HE'S GOT ANYTHING INSIDE HIM,

WOULDN'T WANT TO BE HERE WITH US.

MY DAD CREATED THE DREAM, AND WE ALL NEEDED A DREAM.

WE NEEDED A DREAM.

AND WE'RE IN. WE'RE ALL-IN NOW.

THE NUMBER-ONE ALL-TIME FAN FAVORITE MOMENT

IN NINE SEASONS OF "GOLD RUSH."

AND LATER, IN NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN SOCIAL-MEDIA QUESTIONS...

"DOES SHE HAVE NICKNAMES FOR THE REST OF TEAM NESS?"

...KARLA WOWS US WITH SOME CREATIVE PET NAMES

FOR THE MILWAUKEE BOYS.

I STARTED MIXING FOOD WITH MY NICKNAMES.

LIKE, FOR RICK -- PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE.

WHAT?

SOMETIMES SHE JUST CALLS ME P-SPICE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR,

AS VOTED BY YOU, THE FANS.

EVERY ONE OF THOSE IS 100 OUNCES.

JOHN'S LOVE FOR PARKER WAS ALWAYS ABUNDANT

AND NEVER MORE CLEAR THAN IN HIS HEART-WARMING SPEECH

AFTER PARKER'S RECORD-SETTING $3.7 MILLION SEASON.

THIS IS YOUR NUMBER-ONE FAVORITE "GOLD RUSH" MOMENT OF ALL TIME.

John: PARKER, YOU DON'T KNOW

HOW PLEASED AND PROUD I AM OF YOU.

WITH THE HELP OF A WONDERFUL CREW,

YOU NOW LOOK AT 3,000 OUNCES.

[ Voice breaking ] WHAT MORE -- WHAT MORE DO I ASK FOR?

NOTHING. I'M A VERY FORTUNATE MAN.

I LOVE YOU, PARKER.

NOT ONLY LOVE YOU, I'M PROUD OF YOU.

YOU MAKE MY LIFE WORTHWHILE.

I LOVE YOU.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS READY TO DO SOME SOCIAL MEDIA?

I GUESS SO.

THERE'S NOTHING THE MINERS LOVE MORE...

YAY!

...THAN TO ANSWER THE FANS' MOST PRESSING QUESTIONS.

THIS IS GONNA GET WEIRD, I'M PRETTY SURE.

"WHERE YOU GUYS POOPING?" -"HA-HA."

AND WITH SO MANY AMAZING SUBMISSIONS...

GOOD QUESTION, STEPHEN.

THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION. YES.

...WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR EVERYTHING THAT COMES IN.

HERE ARE A FEW QUESTIONS FROM THE CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION.

"WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU BOUGHT

WHEN YOU CASHED IN THAT GOLD?"

BULLDOZERS. AND A WASH PLANT.

SLUICIFER!

BUT IS THERE ONE THING THAT YOU BOUGHT,

LIKE A PICKUP TRUCK?

BOATS.

-THE DEADLY JET BOATS? -YEAH, EXACTLY.

THAT WORKED OUT WELL.

[ BOAT MOTOR REVS ]

[ BONE CRACKS, CLATTER ]

BUT YOU TRAVEL.

YEAH, I'M USUALLY WORKING.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT ABOUT YOU, MITCH?

ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT?

I JUST BOUGHT A NEW RACE CAR.

SO THIS WAS KIND OF LIKE A LIFELONG DREAM?

YEAH, IT'S AN SCCA GT2 CAR.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.

YOU'LL HAVE TO SEE A PICTURE OF IT.

[ ENGINE REVS ]

CAN WE BE THE SPONSOR?

-DEFINITELY. -"THE DIRT."

YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE A LOT OF FUN.

WE HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE, OTHER THAN GIANT STICKERS.

YEAH, THAT'S A START, RIGHT?

PARKER AND I WILL EACH GIVE YOU 20 BUCKS.

IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THAT.

AND YOU CAN DO IT IN THE OFF-SEASON.

-YEAH. -WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I STARTED MY OWN CIGAR COMPANY.

YEAH, I KNOW. BY THE WAY, THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME...

YEAH, YOU BET.

DOUMITT SENT ME HIS WHOLE KIT.

CIGARS AND ALL THE GOLF TEES AND THE TOWEL AND EVERYTHING.

IT'S REALLY COOL.

HOW DO PEOPLE GET THAT STUFF?

ONLINE. DOUMITT CIGAR.

Doumittcigar.com.

THERE YOU GO. PLUG.

THEY'RE KILLER CIGARS.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION.

"ASKING ABOUT THE NON-GOLD FINDS.

FOSSILS, CRITTERS, WEIRD VENDORS, AND NEIGHBORS."

WHAT ELSE DO YOU GUYS FIND UP THERE BESIDES GOLD?

TWO YEARS AGO, WE HAD A HUGE FIND.

WE FOUND A CARIBOU CALF THAT WAS 70,000 YEARS OLD.

-70,000 YEARS OLD! -70,000.

AND WE DID DO THE MONITORING --

THAT'S, LIKE, WITH A WATER CANNON.

THE MONITORING IS WHERE YOU UNEARTH THE FOSSILS.

YEAH. BECAUSE WHEN WE RIP THEM THROUGH THE DOZERS,

THEN THEY GET CRUSHED, AND YOU WON'T FIND THEM.

WHERE, WITH THE MONITORING, THEY SHOW UP.

SO, WHEN I SHOWED UP THE DAY, THE FIRST THING I SPOTTED

WAS THREE IVORY TUSKS FROM THE MAMMOTHS.

SO WE GOT OVER THERE AND HAD A LOOK AT IT.

AND THEN YOU CALL THE PALEONTOLOGISTS,

AND THEY COME OUT AND THEY DIG IT OUT.

'CAUSE THAT'S LAW UP THERE, RIGHT?

-NO. -NO.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO CALL THEM IN.

NO, YOU DON'T.

EVERYBODY DOES, THOUGH, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN --

THOSE THINGS ARE KIND OF COOL TO FIND.

THEY DO A LOT OF TESTS ON IT, AND THEY FIND OUT HOW OLD.

SO, IT WAS A BABY CARIBOU THAT WAS 70,000 YEARS OLD?

IT'S ONE OF THE OLDEST FINDS.

YEAH, ONE OF THE OLDEST.

YOU ACTUALLY DO STOP DOWN, TONY,

'CAUSE IT'S KIND OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT, RIGHT?

THEY COME IN, AND THEY HAVE TO --

YES AND NO, BUT IT IS IMPORTANT, ALSO.

WHEN YOU DIG UP SOMETHING THAT'S 70,000 YEARS OLD,

NOW YOU GOT PROOF OF SOMETHING.

NOW, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DESTROY THAT?

AND THE PALEONTOLOGISTS THAT WE HAVE THERE IN YUKON,

THEY'RE GREAT.

THEY COME IN, THEY GET IT OUT,

AND THEY GET OUT OF YOUR WAY.

IT'S HUGE FOR THE SCIENTISTS, RIGHT?

OH, YEAH. YOU GOTTA WORK TOGETHER ON THAT.

WITHOUT A QUESTION, YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT.

"ON A PREVIOUS EPISODE OF 'THE DIRT,'

WE LEARNED THAT KARLA NICKNAMED FREDDY DODGE 'COWBOY DUMPLING.'"

COWBOY DUMPLING?

[ KARLA LAUGHS ]

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

"DOES SHE HAVE NICKNAMES FOR THE REST OF TEAM NESS?"

COWBOY DUMPLING WAS A DEVASTATING NICKNAME, JUST FOR THE RECORD.

-OH, GOD. -WOW.

-OH, BOY. -FREDDY IS A DUMPLING?

WELL, I GOT A LITTLE -- YEAH. IT WAS DEVASTATING.

I STARTED MIXING FOOD WITH MY NICKNAMES.

LIKE, I CAME UP WITH ONE FOR RICK --

PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE.

-WHAT? -'CAUSE --

SOMETIMES SHE JUST CALLS ME P-SPICE.

P-SPICE. THAT'S BETTER.

YEAH, ZEE -- I CALL ZEE "ZEE-LICIOUS."

-OH. -THAT'S GOOD.

IT'S KIND OF FOOD-RELATED.

AND THEN I DON'T HAVE -- I CALL BEN "BEN."

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, I CALL RYAN "RY-RY."

"I CALL BEN 'BEN.'" BEN-BEN.

NO, JUST ONE "BEN."

DO YOU CALL TERRY "TER-BEAR"?

I CALL TERRY "TER-BEAR," "TER-IT-UP."

WE HAD SO MANY GREAT "TERRY" NAMES.

-THERE WERE A LOT, YEAH. -LIKE WHAT?

T-T-T-TERRY BOMB!

[ LAUGHTER ]

THERE WAS PAN-TERRY.

-PAN-TERRY. -PAN-TERRY.

-BUCK-TERRY. -BUCK-TERRY.

-TERRY PIE. -T-SIZZLE.

OOH! OOH!

FOR ME, IT WAS "TER-ING-IT-UP."

"TER-ING-IT-UP."

HE WILL ALWAYS BE "TER-ING-IT-UP."

I LIKED "TER-BEAR" 'CAUSE HE GOT FURIOUS.

-TER-BEAR. -TER-BEAR'S GOOD.

IT'S THE WORST.

THAT'S WHY IT'S THE BEST.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

IT'S ALWAYS FANTASTIC TO HAVE YOU GUYS.

I NEVER HAVE A CLUE WHERE IT'S GONNA GO.

BUT NOW WE'RE GONNA WATCH "GOLD RUSH,"

AND WE HAVE A LITTLE SNEAK PEEK.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

ON TONIGHT'S ALL-NEW EPISODE OF "GOLD RUSH"...

BAD WEATHER IS ON ITS WAY.

...RICK'S CREW SCRAMBLES AS WINTER CLOSES IN.

GONNA BE A BATTLE,

BUT IF IT GETS ME TO THAT 1,000 OUNCES,

LET'S [BLEEP] BATTLE. I'M READY TO FIGHT.

PARKER UNEARTHS AN INCREDIBLE FIND.

HOLY [BLEEP]

THERE'S GOLD FROM HERE TO ETERNITY!

I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA REACH THE 6,000 OUNCES OF GOLD.

Christo: AND MONICA AND KEVIN...

FIRE IT UP.

...BATTLE IT OUT TILL THE BITTER END.

JUST THROW IT IN THERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

WE'RE GONNA KICK SOME ASS.