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1
00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:01,948
(SNORTING)
2
00:00:02,716 --> 00:00:04,718
(UPBEAT TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:00:14,227 --> 00:00:15,995
(WOMAN LAUGHING)
4
00:00:17,863 --> 00:00:19,630
(CHEERING)
5
00:00:19,665 --> 00:00:20,666
(DISTORTED) Hello.
6
00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:24,103
He fuckin' pushed me!
7
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:27,940
(GLASS CLINKING)
8
00:00:29,975 --> 00:00:30,975
(GROWLING SOUND)
9
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:32,011
(GLASS CLINKING)
10
00:00:37,349 --> 00:00:39,050
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING LOUDER)
11
00:00:43,154 --> 00:00:44,154
(SNIFFING)
12
00:00:44,188 --> 00:00:45,890
(MUFFLED MUSIC)
13
00:00:49,693 --> 00:00:51,628
(MUSIC BECOMES CLEARER)
14
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(DISTORTED) Robyn.
15
00:00:57,201 --> 00:00:58,934
(PHONE VIBRATING)
16
00:00:58,969 --> 00:01:00,670
(TECHNO MUSIC SLOWLY STOPS)
17
00:01:01,372 --> 00:01:03,073
(PHONE VIBRATING)
18
00:01:05,175 --> 00:01:06,675
WOMAN: Robyn?
19
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:08,310
Robyn, I think that's your phone.
20
00:01:08,345 --> 00:01:09,780
(PHONE VIBRATING)
21
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,480
Oh, shoot.
22
00:01:11,515 --> 00:01:17,618
(STUTTERS) Uh, if I can just get
that threshold and stop, I... I...
23
00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:19,321
(PHONE CONTINUES VIBRATING)
24
00:01:19,356 --> 00:01:20,654
(CLEARS THROAT)
25
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,323
(KEYS JANGLING)
26
00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:23,859
(PHONE VIBRATES AND STOPS)
27
00:01:25,227 --> 00:01:30,064
Uh... Yeah. But, of
course, I wouldn't stop.
28
00:01:30,099 --> 00:01:31,841
I'm not sure what
triggered it, honestly,
29
00:01:31,866 --> 00:01:33,666
some times I feel like
I can see it coming,
30
00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:36,203
but some times it...
It's just... It's there.
31
00:01:36,238 --> 00:01:38,905
And it takes you by surprise.
32
00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:40,657
So, yeah, we had this fight and I can't
33
00:01:40,682 --> 00:01:42,868
really remember what it was about.
34
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,344
Uh...
35
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,714
Me being an idiot again, probably.
36
00:01:47,248 --> 00:01:48,716
(PHONE VIBRATING)
37
00:01:50,251 --> 00:01:51,371
I'm sorry. (VIBRATING STOPS)
38
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It's off.
39
00:01:55,056 --> 00:01:56,590
You being an idiot?
40
00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:00,041
Yeah. Right.
41
00:02:00,093 --> 00:02:01,715
So, the next thing I know,
42
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:05,731
I'm in the disabled toilets,
hitting the nose bag
43
00:02:05,766 --> 00:02:09,168
and getting a handjob off
one of the male waiters.
44
00:02:09,203 --> 00:02:11,238
And the sense of... of...
45
00:02:12,337 --> 00:02:13,571
Uber for Robyn.
46
00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:17,610
Yup.
47
00:02:21,781 --> 00:02:22,915
Thank you.
48
00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:25,438
Bye.
49
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:31,400
Synced & corrected by reggielist
www.addic7ed.com
50
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,513
Hi.
51
00:02:46,538 --> 00:02:47,806
Hey, Rob.
52
00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:50,207
You're late.
53
00:02:50,242 --> 00:02:51,975
(DISTANT TV PLAYING)
54
00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:53,276
You went to a meeting? Mmm-hmm.
55
00:02:53,311 --> 00:02:54,344
For real?
56
00:02:54,379 --> 00:02:58,075
Baby, that is... Fantastic. Come.
57
00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,766
Don't make a thing of it.
58
00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:02,792
Guys, wine's away,
diet cokes all around.
59
00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:04,619
Oh. Well, we're doing
this again, are we?
60
00:03:04,644 --> 00:03:05,733
Oh... What?
61
00:03:05,758 --> 00:03:07,735
I'm kidding. Its great
news. Great news, Rob.
62
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,260
- Diet coke it is.
- That's sweet but
63
00:03:09,285 --> 00:03:11,698
just cause I'm a fuck-up, doesn't
have to ruin everyone else's night.
64
00:03:11,722 --> 00:03:13,889
Well, we're here to support you. Right?
65
00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:15,674
Yeah, just tell us
whatever you need, sis.
66
00:03:15,698 --> 00:03:19,572
I need you to stop treating me like
a Make-A-Wish kid and have a drink.
67
00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:21,599
I'm NA, not AA. It's fine.
68
00:03:22,439 --> 00:03:24,073
You sure? Yes!
69
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,274
Well, thank Christ for that.
70
00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:28,178
I haven't had dinner,
sober since the '90s.
71
00:03:28,899 --> 00:03:29,967
Really proud of you.
72
00:03:31,929 --> 00:03:33,795
Oh no, no, go ahead,
serve yourself, babe.
73
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,852
We're good.
74
00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:36,767
I'm just making sure
its... (SNIFFS) Not corked.
75
00:03:57,175 --> 00:03:59,177
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
76
00:04:02,046 --> 00:04:04,281
(LAUGHING)
77
00:04:04,316 --> 00:04:06,827
To be honest, it's kind of strange
at first but then, it's liberating.
78
00:04:06,851 --> 00:04:08,295
Like the first time
you wear a swimming cap.
79
00:04:08,319 --> 00:04:12,015
God, but all of it?
It just seems so exposing!
80
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,787
I mean, God, let's not forget, I have
81
00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:15,698
pushed two babies out of that bad boy.
82
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:16,737
I think you should try it.
83
00:04:16,761 --> 00:04:18,796
You do not get a say in
the grooming of my snooch.
84
00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:21,365
- Snooch?
- Yes, Sam, my snooch!
85
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:22,427
Do you have a problem with that?
86
00:04:22,451 --> 00:04:24,065
I do not have a problem with
your snooch. (SNICKERING)
87
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:26,301
Excuse me, my wife's
mins you're talking about.
88
00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:29,041
Hmm... Tell you what. I will
shave mine if you shave yours.
89
00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:30,138
- Deal.
- No!
90
00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:31,842
No, no, porn stars do it all the time.
91
00:04:31,867 --> 00:04:33,584
Don't tell me, you've
never shaved your balls.
92
00:04:33,608 --> 00:04:35,553
No, but you are one hairy
motherfucker though, man.
93
00:04:35,577 --> 00:04:37,417
Oh, my God, you're right.
Where would he start?
94
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,506
It'll be like when you shave a
square off a dog for an operation.
95
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:42,616
What if I stop at the
knees and the nipples?
96
00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:45,548
I'm serious! Just here to here.
Completely hairless. Just zip!
97
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:46,710
- I'm gonna be okay.
- Plus.
98
00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:47,950
It makes your dick look
bigger, apparently.
99
00:04:47,974 --> 00:04:49,632
So, who will be the one laughing then?
100
00:04:49,679 --> 00:04:50,969
I'm pretty sure it'll still be us, mate.
101
00:04:50,993 --> 00:04:52,461
(PHONE VIBRATING)
102
00:04:58,935 --> 00:05:00,870
Hon, you sure you want another?
103
00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:04,946
Well, that is you told.
104
00:05:05,094 --> 00:05:07,707
That it is. Right.
I am gonna go for a smoke.
105
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,075
- Oh no, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
106
00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:10,579
I'm gonna join you.
107
00:05:11,847 --> 00:05:12,981
Wedded bliss.
108
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:16,016
Didn't know he was smoking again.
109
00:05:16,051 --> 00:05:17,398
Yeah.
110
00:05:17,423 --> 00:05:18,951
That's an exciting new development.
111
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,821
Hey, Robyn!
112
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:24,068
Come on, watching people
getting slowly drunk is like
113
00:05:24,092 --> 00:05:26,792
being Stevie Wonder
in a fireworks display.
114
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,528
I'm going for him, not me.
As long as he's happy.
115
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,063
Public relations.
116
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:32,600
(PHONE VIBRATING)
117
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,370
Hello? When the phone rings, you answer.
118
00:05:36,438 --> 00:05:37,518
I'm sorry, I just...
119
00:05:37,543 --> 00:05:39,448
I don't care if you be in a car
crash, both your arms are broken,
120
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,096
and you've got a mouth
full of shattered teeth,
121
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,292
you spit them out, get
someone else to hold the phone,
122
00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:44,976
and you murr me a gummy response.
123
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,659
- That clear?
- That's pretty clear.
124
00:05:46,687 --> 00:05:48,687
Summer Bolton has been
dropped by her record label.
125
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,148
Round table. 9:00 am.
126
00:05:50,573 --> 00:05:51,604
Yup.
127
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:55,183
One of the mothers at Kelly's
school once got it all waxed
128
00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:57,210
and she said, it made
her moo like a cow.
129
00:05:57,919 --> 00:05:58,985
Literally.
130
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,927
She was on all fours and
she mooed like poked cow.
131
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,062
(INDISTINCT MUSIC PLAYING)
132
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,098
Mmm-hmm.
133
00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:09,351
EVE: Oh, God, no.
134
00:06:09,386 --> 00:06:10,753
Working hard I see.
135
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,523
(SLURPING NOISES ON VIDEO)
136
00:06:13,557 --> 00:06:15,493
Is that the guy from Dragon's Den?
137
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:17,860
What the hell is he doing?
138
00:06:17,895 --> 00:06:19,494
He wants to get on I Miss Celebs.
139
00:06:19,529 --> 00:06:21,663
He sent me an audition
tape of him eating things.
140
00:06:21,698 --> 00:06:24,044
He's already eaten three earthworms,
a chicken scat strip and now,
141
00:06:24,068 --> 00:06:25,835
he's going for the sheep's testicle.
142
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,853
BOTH: Ooh!
143
00:06:28,966 --> 00:06:30,233
Tough little bugger those are.
144
00:06:30,337 --> 00:06:32,083
Oh... God!
145
00:06:32,982 --> 00:06:34,642
(LAUGHING) It's like a meat cream egg.
146
00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:37,091
Don't they have everyone
in place for this year?
147
00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:38,536
Yeah, yeah. Weeks ago.
148
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,017
But seeing as you are
repeatedly trying to touch
149
00:06:41,071 --> 00:06:43,399
Fanny Lennox at last
year's Christmas party,
150
00:06:43,438 --> 00:06:45,584
I thought I'd keep his
dreams alive a little longer.
151
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:46,770
Fanny Lennox?
152
00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:49,037
My new name for the notorious V-A-G.
153
00:06:49,062 --> 00:06:50,843
- So, are you in this round table?
- Yup.
154
00:06:50,873 --> 00:06:51,937
Remind me of the deets again.
155
00:06:51,961 --> 00:06:54,754
Ever Cater Price, are you telling
me you haven't done your homework?
156
00:06:54,778 --> 00:06:57,513
Okay, so, I was doing it but then
I got booty called by the imp.
157
00:06:57,548 --> 00:06:58,625
You shouldn't call him that.
158
00:06:58,649 --> 00:07:00,538
Why? He's like 5'4". That's
why he's always so angry.
159
00:07:00,562 --> 00:07:01,562
(ROBYN CHUCKLING)
160
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,128
Anyway, so, we're like
half a bottle of Bombay in,
161
00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:05,092
and start having one of
those flirty conversations
162
00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:07,445
about how kinky we are at
a scale of one to ten.
163
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,040
Hmm. Tricky, 'cause anything under five
164
00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:10,400
and you're gonna sound like a prune.
165
00:07:10,424 --> 00:07:11,632
But go too high, and
you're basically saying
166
00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:12,955
"Piss on me, I'm slut," I know.
167
00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:14,359
- I think I'll go seven.
- That's what I thought.
168
00:07:14,383 --> 00:07:16,140
Safe seven. A bit of bondage, bum sex,
169
00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:18,429
if forewarned, light spanking,
everyone's a winner.
170
00:07:18,668 --> 00:07:21,203
So, proceedings got underway
and suddenly, this happens.
171
00:07:22,873 --> 00:07:24,007
Is that a cigarette burn?
172
00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,214
Shouldn't have even
been smoking in the flat.
173
00:07:27,297 --> 00:07:29,064
My landlord finds out,
she will shit kittens.
174
00:07:29,089 --> 00:07:30,488
Jesus! What did you do?
175
00:07:30,513 --> 00:07:33,348
Well, I elbowed him in the face,
broke his nose, blood everywhere.
176
00:07:33,426 --> 00:07:35,693
Unfortunately, this just
turned him on even more.
177
00:07:35,884 --> 00:07:37,211
Christ! Eve!
178
00:07:37,236 --> 00:07:40,069
This is good. You're freaking out.
179
00:07:40,129 --> 00:07:42,063
I freaked out. I was
worried I was being uptight.
180
00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:44,028
No! You chucked him out, right?
181
00:07:44,053 --> 00:07:45,888
Of course. This morning.
182
00:07:47,064 --> 00:07:48,631
Eve. I know.
183
00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:51,232
Not my finest moment. But
I did break the guy's nose.
184
00:07:51,899 --> 00:07:53,301
It's always the short ones.
185
00:07:54,997 --> 00:07:56,063
I know right.
186
00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:57,731
Lucky I didn't say I was a ten.
187
00:07:57,802 --> 00:08:00,439
Robyn, here's that info
you wanted on Summer Bolton.
188
00:08:00,474 --> 00:08:01,707
Ooh, you sneaky bitch!
189
00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:03,709
I printed it in duplicate.
190
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,177
Is she coming in? My mum loves her.
191
00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:07,646
- What are the headlines?
- Okay,
192
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,715
well, she won Britain's Got Talent,
two years ago, when she was 15.
193
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:13,151
I thought the great dancing
granddads won it two years ago.
194
00:08:13,186 --> 00:08:15,554
No, that was last year. But
they only made it to the semis'
195
00:08:15,589 --> 00:08:18,723
because they got beaten by those
boys with all the talking fruit.
196
00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:22,126
Anyway, her first album
won two classical Brits,
197
00:08:22,161 --> 00:08:24,461
then she had a Christmas
number one with a charity single
198
00:08:24,496 --> 00:08:26,530
for Help for Heroes called Lovely Boys.
199
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,733
And her manager is her mother, Joan.
200
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,267
Oh, Christ! A momager.
201
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,202
Ruthless beasts.
202
00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:34,482
There was a girl at my prep school
whose mother gave a drama teacher
203
00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:35,802
a handjob just so that her daughter
204
00:08:35,826 --> 00:08:37,386
could play the lead in the school play.
205
00:08:37,443 --> 00:08:39,743
Which, ironically, happened
to be Daisy Pulls It Off.
206
00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:40,825
Thanks for this.
207
00:08:40,942 --> 00:08:42,781
Your hair looks nice, by the way.
208
00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:46,205
Oh, thanks.
209
00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:49,035
Few more of those, you'll be
able to start your own currency.
210
00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:51,026
I'm doing it for real this time.
211
00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:53,260
Time to grow up. Be a good girl.
212
00:08:53,323 --> 00:08:54,997
You are a good girl.
213
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,041
You're one of the best girls I know.
214
00:08:57,066 --> 00:08:59,466
Are you familiar with the story
of the scorpion and the frog?
215
00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:02,127
Did they go out to sea in
a beautiful pea green boat?
216
00:09:02,152 --> 00:09:03,884
No, that was somebody else.
217
00:09:03,909 --> 00:09:07,245
So, Scorpion asks Frog for
a ride across the river.
218
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:10,211
Frog's like, "As if. You'll sting me."
219
00:09:10,246 --> 00:09:11,872
The Scorpion's like,
"Of course, I won't."
220
00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,729
"If I sting you, I'll drown too."
221
00:09:13,777 --> 00:09:15,911
So, Froggy agrees.
222
00:09:15,993 --> 00:09:18,194
They reach the middle of
the river and suddenly...
223
00:09:18,354 --> 00:09:21,322
Zap! Scorpion stings
the crap out of Frog.
224
00:09:21,364 --> 00:09:22,934
And as they sink slowly
in the black water,
225
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:24,394
the frog looks up and is like,
226
00:09:24,449 --> 00:09:28,851
(MUMBLES)
227
00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:30,207
Why did you do that?
228
00:09:30,232 --> 00:09:34,067
And Scorpion stared down at him
and says, "It's in my nature."
229
00:09:34,102 --> 00:09:35,236
(DISTANT DRILLING SOUND)
230
00:09:36,037 --> 00:09:38,071
And they both drown.
231
00:09:38,106 --> 00:09:40,607
As much as I hate to break
up this little pow-wow,
232
00:09:40,642 --> 00:09:43,075
Caroline has a rich
teenager in her boardroom.
233
00:09:43,437 --> 00:09:45,840
And she doesn't like
to keep those waiting.
234
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,931
Okay, Summer's label are going
to announce the news on Friday.
235
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,536
So we until then to turn this
236
00:09:52,561 --> 00:09:54,695
from a car crash into the Gumball Rally.
237
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:58,038
She wants to ditch the classical
and move into adult pop.
238
00:09:58,073 --> 00:09:59,705
Our job is a top-down re-brand.
239
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,774
She's heading in a very
different direction.
240
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:02,943
It's much edgier.
241
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,535
She's working with Tiny Temper.
242
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,913
Look, people just think of me
as a little girl, but I'm not.
243
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:09,316
I wanna be taken seriously.
244
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:10,436
She wants to be sexy.
245
00:10:10,461 --> 00:10:12,027
Swift sexy or Rihanna sexy?
246
00:10:12,054 --> 00:10:13,592
- Rihanna sexy.
- Well...
247
00:10:13,721 --> 00:10:15,187
- Budget?
- Limited.
248
00:10:15,222 --> 00:10:16,222
EVE: Drug habit?
249
00:10:16,257 --> 00:10:17,647
Few track marks, easily done.
250
00:10:17,672 --> 00:10:19,122
ROBYN: Not very sexy, not for a girl.
251
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:21,763
Mental breakdown. Shave your head,
piss in a bucket, buy a monkey.
252
00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:24,274
No mental breakdowns, no substance
abuse. They work only for actresses.
253
00:10:24,298 --> 00:10:26,524
- From an old boyfriend?
- Too much of a slow burn.
254
00:10:26,549 --> 00:10:27,943
SUMMER: I don't care what I have to do.
255
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:30,869
I'm 17 years old and I'm not
ready for my career to be over.
256
00:10:30,904 --> 00:10:34,254
My best friend works six days
a week in H&M for, like, ?400.
257
00:10:34,279 --> 00:10:35,880
- Fuck that.
- Summer.
258
00:10:36,743 --> 00:10:37,876
What about a sex tape?
259
00:10:37,911 --> 00:10:39,424
There hasn't been a good
one of those in a while.
260
00:10:39,448 --> 00:10:40,581
Okay, hang on just a second.
261
00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:41,772
Not really classy.
262
00:10:41,797 --> 00:10:43,637
But is classy really
what we're going for here?
263
00:10:44,117 --> 00:10:45,816
Ooh, lesbians.
264
00:10:45,851 --> 00:10:47,618
ROBYN: Lesbians, perfect.
265
00:10:47,653 --> 00:10:49,691
On trend and much less
seedy than straight.
266
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,716
Certainly wouldn't look
like a little girl anymore.
267
00:10:51,890 --> 00:10:54,024
It's well shot.
Intended for private use.
268
00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:56,226
Grown up, sophisticated. Think Madonna.
269
00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:57,801
Old Madonna. Not old Madonna.
270
00:10:57,826 --> 00:10:59,505
Then it gets leaked,
hacked from your Cloud,
271
00:10:59,529 --> 00:11:01,394
you're horrified, you
make a public admission.
272
00:11:01,419 --> 00:11:02,543
How betrayed you feel.
273
00:11:02,568 --> 00:11:04,870
Getting the sympathy
vote from the girls.
274
00:11:05,104 --> 00:11:07,251
Whilst turning yourself
into a filthy little minx.
275
00:11:07,276 --> 00:11:10,043
Nation's sweetheart's dirty secret.
276
00:11:10,108 --> 00:11:11,748
EVE: And if the new album tanks,
277
00:11:11,773 --> 00:11:13,073
sell a tape online,
278
00:11:13,225 --> 00:11:14,310
still make a fortune.
279
00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:15,968
And we can turn this around in 48 hours.
280
00:11:16,347 --> 00:11:18,414
Absolutely. Now, hold on just a second.
281
00:11:18,449 --> 00:11:20,076
This is my daughter we're talking about.
282
00:11:20,107 --> 00:11:21,217
It's pornography.
283
00:11:21,252 --> 00:11:23,219
I play golf with men
who watch pornography.
284
00:11:23,254 --> 00:11:24,970
Dad, this is my career.
285
00:11:24,995 --> 00:11:26,221
- Summer, you can't...
- Mum, tell him.
286
00:11:26,245 --> 00:11:28,212
- Darling.
- Joan, you can't seriously...
287
00:11:28,237 --> 00:11:29,903
This is her life,
288
00:11:29,972 --> 00:11:33,240
and if she wants to make a sex tape,
she can make a sex tape.
289
00:11:33,463 --> 00:11:35,750
Unless, of course, you want
to stop using her royalties
290
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,132
to pay off our mortgage.
291
00:11:37,175 --> 00:11:38,869
Oh, no. Of course you can't.
292
00:11:38,894 --> 00:11:40,279
'Cause you got fired from your job
293
00:11:40,303 --> 00:11:43,135
for asking your secretary
to sit on the photocopier.
294
00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:50,526
Excellent.
295
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,120
Well, we'll leave you two to discuss,
296
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,675
and I'll get the girls
to draw up some ideas.
297
00:12:02,571 --> 00:12:04,672
Hi, I heard there was
a problem with the...
298
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:06,074
Yeah, hi. Um...
299
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:08,687
I had troubles printing,
but it's working again.
300
00:12:08,712 --> 00:12:10,645
Oh, okay.
301
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,390
Great.
302
00:12:12,615 --> 00:12:13,749
Do you want a biscuit?
303
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:17,286
I made them for the office. Uhm...
304
00:12:17,356 --> 00:12:20,083
But Eve told me to throw them away
'cause they've got flour in them.
305
00:12:20,124 --> 00:12:23,059
All right. Okay.
306
00:12:23,259 --> 00:12:26,176
Well, I'm sure the guys
downstairs would be more grateful.
307
00:12:26,695 --> 00:12:28,605
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
308
00:12:28,635 --> 00:12:29,902
Hot coffee, in my mouth.
309
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:31,958
And I need you to make me
a list of every female celeb
310
00:12:31,982 --> 00:12:34,716
between the ages of 16 and
35 with something to sell.
311
00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,803
Records, movies, themselves.
312
00:12:36,838 --> 00:12:37,938
I don't care.
313
00:12:37,973 --> 00:12:39,539
Low moral fiber preferred.
314
00:12:39,574 --> 00:12:40,608
MELODY: Will do that.
315
00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:43,745
So, what's she like? Hmm?
316
00:12:44,012 --> 00:12:45,111
Summer.
317
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:46,580
Is she nice?
318
00:12:47,315 --> 00:12:48,814
She's a sweetheart.
319
00:12:48,849 --> 00:12:51,084
(CHUCKLES) I knew she would be.
320
00:12:51,119 --> 00:12:53,020
You can help us with
her sex tape if you like.
321
00:12:54,203 --> 00:12:56,437
- Sex tape?
- Yes.
322
00:12:56,472 --> 00:12:58,140
Of Summer Bolton? Yes.
323
00:12:58,741 --> 00:12:59,807
- Having sex.
- Yes.
324
00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:00,874
(TYPING)
325
00:13:00,909 --> 00:13:03,242
You have a tape of
Summer Bolton having sex?
326
00:13:03,277 --> 00:13:04,889
No, we're making a tape of
Summer Bolton having sex.
327
00:13:04,913 --> 00:13:06,804
Robin, I think this one's broken.
Why don't we get a new one?
328
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:08,181
Oh, my goodness.
329
00:13:08,216 --> 00:13:09,650
I still need that list, Melody.
330
00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:10,751
Okay.
331
00:13:10,786 --> 00:13:12,286
Oh, my goodness.
332
00:13:13,287 --> 00:13:16,290
Yes, cool. No problem.
333
00:13:17,692 --> 00:13:18,826
That is cool.
334
00:13:20,595 --> 00:13:21,995
Bless.
335
00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:23,352
If my coffee comes back cold again,
336
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:24,491
I'm just gonna throw it in her face.
337
00:13:24,515 --> 00:13:25,516
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
338
00:13:29,336 --> 00:13:31,148
Robin, there's a man in a polyester suit
339
00:13:31,173 --> 00:13:32,773
waiting in the reception for you.
340
00:13:34,374 --> 00:13:35,877
Sorry to bother you at work.
341
00:13:35,924 --> 00:13:38,713
Just in the area,
thought I'd pop in, say hello.
342
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:40,412
What were you doing in the area?
343
00:13:40,447 --> 00:13:43,483
You know, looking for your office.
344
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:48,252
Okay, good. Uh, you know,
345
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,785
earlier in the year, I said that
I was leaving my position at work
346
00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:54,513
but staying within the company
to become a contractor...
347
00:13:56,862 --> 00:13:58,696
Earlier in the year?
348
00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:00,965
Talked to Ruth and you
about it loads... No?
349
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,501
Okay. Well, I said it
didn't make any sense.
350
00:14:03,536 --> 00:14:06,267
Staying on a salary when they
kept hiring these contractors
351
00:14:06,292 --> 00:14:08,304
who were getting paid
almost double what I was,
352
00:14:08,339 --> 00:14:10,373
and they were getting to
choose their own hours,
353
00:14:10,408 --> 00:14:12,843
and even though there was some
minor risk to job security...
354
00:14:12,878 --> 00:14:15,119
Mark, I have absolutely no
idea what you're talking about.
355
00:14:15,143 --> 00:14:16,312
I've lost my job.
356
00:14:16,471 --> 00:14:18,248
- What?
- Oh, it's fine.
357
00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:19,684
Just a bit... Bit, um...
358
00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:22,919
The company I'm working
for are cutting back,
359
00:14:22,954 --> 00:14:25,789
and as I'm, strictly speaking,
no longer an employee,
360
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:26,824
they, uh...
361
00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:30,392
Hey, I'll find something else, okay?
362
00:14:30,427 --> 00:14:31,872
- When did this happen?
- Three months ago.
363
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,395
And Ruth doesn't know?
364
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:35,364
I felt something else would come up.
365
00:14:35,399 --> 00:14:36,743
And what am I supposed to say to her?
366
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:38,878
"Hi, honey, how are you? By the
way, don't bother fixing dinner,"
367
00:14:38,902 --> 00:14:40,213
"'cause I can't afford
any food to feed the kids?"
368
00:14:40,237 --> 00:14:41,678
Where the hell have you been
going for the past three months?
369
00:14:41,702 --> 00:14:42,973
I don't know, cafes.
370
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:45,406
Parks.
371
00:14:45,441 --> 00:14:47,654
Or sometimes, I just stay on the
circle line till it's time to go home.
372
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:48,944
You have to tell her.
373
00:14:48,979 --> 00:14:50,890
You, better than anyone, knows
what she's like with money.
374
00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:53,815
Remember when she was
pregnant? She will freak out.
375
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,730
She's obsessed she'll
end up broke like her mum.
376
00:14:57,887 --> 00:15:00,299
Took me three years to persuade
her we can afford Sky Television.
377
00:15:00,323 --> 00:15:01,883
We still haven't got the movie package.
378
00:15:02,592 --> 00:15:03,662
Why are you telling me?
379
00:15:03,756 --> 00:15:05,426
I don't know, you're...
380
00:15:05,461 --> 00:15:08,631
Good at fixing things for people, and...
381
00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:11,565
Look, there's stuff on the horizon,
382
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,800
I just need something to get
through the next few weeks.
383
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:17,971
If Ruth finds out that
I know, and she doesn't,
384
00:15:18,006 --> 00:15:19,573
she's gonna lose her shit,
385
00:15:19,608 --> 00:15:20,685
and I know you've seen my sister angry.
386
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:22,587
She makes Chris Brown
look like a fucking hippie.
387
00:15:22,611 --> 00:15:25,160
Yes, well, I don't know who that is.
388
00:15:25,253 --> 00:15:27,749
But look, Robyn, I'm
not asking you for me.
389
00:15:35,489 --> 00:15:37,656
You have one month
to sort your shit out,
390
00:15:37,691 --> 00:15:38,893
and then I tell her.
391
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,028
What is it you do, again?
392
00:15:41,896 --> 00:15:43,462
Well, essentially what I do is
393
00:15:43,497 --> 00:15:45,365
design networks for multinational...
394
00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:46,990
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Computers, right?
395
00:15:47,835 --> 00:15:48,936
Right.
396
00:15:49,202 --> 00:15:50,512
ROBYN: So this is how it's gonna work.
397
00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:53,304
We make the tape, we share it
discreetly with a few sources,
398
00:15:53,339 --> 00:15:56,239
the highest bidder then
leaks it on to their website,
399
00:15:56,274 --> 00:16:00,010
and you get paid a predetermined
sum in the form of legal damages.
400
00:16:00,045 --> 00:16:01,778
After an agreed period of time,
401
00:16:01,813 --> 00:16:03,104
we then, remove the tape,
402
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,227
and then place an injunction to prevent
other people from using the footage.
403
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:08,218
At that time, should you so chose,
404
00:16:08,253 --> 00:16:10,653
- we can further monetize the tape.
- Monetize it?
405
00:16:10,688 --> 00:16:13,390
This is Mark, our technical
communications specialist.
406
00:16:13,425 --> 00:16:14,825
He'll explain how it all works.
407
00:16:16,994 --> 00:16:21,163
Right. Yes. Um... Thank you, Robyn.
408
00:16:21,198 --> 00:16:23,365
Well, what we would do
409
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,104
is set up a number of third party sites
410
00:16:27,129 --> 00:16:28,803
which couldn't be linked back to you.
411
00:16:28,838 --> 00:16:30,772
These sites would then stream the tape
412
00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:33,309
for a fee, your royalties,
413
00:16:33,344 --> 00:16:36,778
all of which would be
transferred directly to you.
414
00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:38,880
Minus Mark and our
commissions, obviously.
415
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,782
Now, this amount can vary greatly
416
00:16:40,817 --> 00:16:43,885
depending on if you're a
Titmuss or a Kardashian.
417
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,322
Let's say, Summer is
somewhere between the two.
418
00:16:47,357 --> 00:16:49,658
So here's a list of potential co-stars.
419
00:16:52,004 --> 00:16:53,527
Oh, God, I hate her.
420
00:16:53,574 --> 00:16:57,241
She's lovely. We saw her on
Graham Norton, didn't we, Ed?
421
00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:59,576
- Who's that one at the bottom?
- She's an Olympian.
422
00:16:59,611 --> 00:17:02,245
- No medals though.
- Oh... An Olympian.
423
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,781
- Too muscley.
- My personal opinion...
424
00:17:05,069 --> 00:17:07,717
This is the one. Carly Peters.
Everyone loves a soap star.
425
00:17:07,752 --> 00:17:09,230
Plus, she just got
her contract canceled,
426
00:17:09,254 --> 00:17:11,623
for using the 'n' word on Twitter,
so this would be the perfect
427
00:17:11,647 --> 00:17:13,767
opportunity, for her to prove
that she's not a racist.
428
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,193
It also means she'll be cheap.
429
00:17:16,228 --> 00:17:17,860
- I like her.
- Great.
430
00:17:17,895 --> 00:17:20,029
We'll get her in this
afternoon for some STD checks.
431
00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:22,865
- STD checks?
- Just to you know, be on the safe side.
432
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,134
Safe, not sorry, Summer.
433
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,770
Well, you guys sit
tight. I'll get to work.
434
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,107
And my assistant will
get you some lunch.
435
00:17:34,711 --> 00:17:37,279
Sorry. My mum... My mum just
loves you, by the way. (CHUCKLES)
436
00:17:37,314 --> 00:17:40,615
Um, when you did Castle on
a Cloud at the Royal Variety,
437
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:43,186
you had us both gushing.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
438
00:17:45,088 --> 00:17:47,008
This is the list of
websites you need to talk to.
439
00:17:47,062 --> 00:17:48,622
Right.
440
00:17:48,664 --> 00:17:50,833
- And I need you to sign this.
- What's this?
441
00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:52,973
It's a non-disclosure agreement.
442
00:17:53,229 --> 00:17:54,795
(EXCLAIMS)
443
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,264
This is what you do all day.
444
00:17:56,299 --> 00:17:59,199
I thought you just flounce around
drinking white wine and air kissing.
445
00:18:00,389 --> 00:18:02,892
(SIGHS WEARILY)
446
00:18:04,339 --> 00:18:05,340
Now, please.
447
00:18:12,181 --> 00:18:14,214
EVE: I'm sorry if I was
unsupportive earlier.
448
00:18:14,249 --> 00:18:15,882
I think what you're doing is great.
449
00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:17,227
- ROBYN: What?
- EVE: You know...
450
00:18:17,251 --> 00:18:19,952
NA, Sam, being a grown up.
451
00:18:19,987 --> 00:18:22,099
I only take the piss 'cause it's
easier for me to be a hot mess
452
00:18:22,123 --> 00:18:23,623
if my best friend's a hot mess too.
453
00:18:23,658 --> 00:18:25,825
ROBYN: Don't worry, babe.
I'll always be a mess.
454
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:27,404
EVE: You know, I think
about it sometimes.
455
00:18:27,428 --> 00:18:31,197
Finding the boy to run me
baths and cook me dinners.
456
00:18:31,232 --> 00:18:33,410
Problem is, I know the minute
I find someone nice enough
457
00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:36,369
to run me a bath, I'd probably
drown him in it. (CHUCKLES)
458
00:18:36,404 --> 00:18:38,705
I guess, that's why I'm doomed
to life as a human ashtray.
459
00:18:39,272 --> 00:18:41,206
Oh, bull-wax.
460
00:18:41,248 --> 00:18:43,750
- What?
- I just pissed on my grandma's ring.
461
00:18:45,922 --> 00:18:48,284
- What is that?
- For the STD lady.
462
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:51,174
- You're getting checked too?
- Damn straight.
463
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,944
How often does the
mountain come to Mohamed?
464
00:18:53,026 --> 00:18:56,026
Saves me a job this quarter.
You should get involved.
465
00:18:56,155 --> 00:18:59,502
Yeah. The last time I pissed
in a cup was at Glastonbury.
466
00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:02,660
- Fill your boots.
- You almost did.
467
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:10,455
- Hi.
- Come on, then.
468
00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:13,110
I actually just wanted to ask a
couple of questions. Is that okay?
469
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:14,671
Okay.
470
00:19:14,706 --> 00:19:15,707
(DOOR CLOSES)
471
00:19:23,448 --> 00:19:25,436
How reliable is the contraceptive pill?
472
00:19:25,513 --> 00:19:27,657
No form of contraceptive is 100%...
473
00:19:27,692 --> 00:19:29,169
No, I appreciate that,
474
00:19:29,194 --> 00:19:32,003
but is that some old wives'
tale you tell teenage girls,
475
00:19:32,028 --> 00:19:34,998
to stop them from being all slutty
or can I actually get pregnant?
476
00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:36,700
You can actually get pregnant.
477
00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:41,505
My boyfriend and I
are trying for a baby.
478
00:19:42,105 --> 00:19:43,440
But you're on the pill?
479
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:47,177
It's complicated.
480
00:19:50,546 --> 00:19:53,081
My mother was a difficult woman
481
00:19:53,116 --> 00:19:56,084
and she made life difficult
482
00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:00,110
for a lot of people,
including her children.
483
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:03,125
And I... I just wouldn't...
484
00:20:05,661 --> 00:20:07,927
Where do you stand on the
whole nature-nurture thing?
485
00:20:08,013 --> 00:20:09,030
I'm just a nurse, honey.
486
00:20:09,065 --> 00:20:11,165
You know, there are still
tribes in South America
487
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,834
that believe that babies are
made from a combination of sperm,
488
00:20:13,869 --> 00:20:17,570
from multiple males and mom has
sex with a bunch of different dudes
489
00:20:17,605 --> 00:20:19,765
and then they all share in
the upbringing of the child.
490
00:20:24,079 --> 00:20:26,214
I had sex with some other guy.
491
00:20:27,148 --> 00:20:29,818
A client, actually.
And now I'm a week late.
492
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,987
So, let me get this straight.
493
00:20:34,022 --> 00:20:36,722
Your're trying for a
baby with your boyfriend,
494
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:40,260
but you had sex with someone
who isn't your boyfriend.
495
00:20:40,295 --> 00:20:44,229
But you're on the pill and you're
worried that you're pregnant.
496
00:20:44,264 --> 00:20:46,033
Or you want to be pregnant?
497
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:49,578
I mess everything up and
498
00:20:51,397 --> 00:20:53,049
I wouldn't want to mess up
something like that.
499
00:20:53,073 --> 00:20:54,375
Why are you telling me all this?
500
00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:56,797
You have that doctor-patient
confidentiality thing, right?
501
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,790
I'm not a doctor, but yes.
502
00:21:00,913 --> 00:21:03,881
I am trying to be better,
503
00:21:03,916 --> 00:21:07,587
but what if I don't
actually have "better" in me?
504
00:21:14,793 --> 00:21:18,231
You should find someone to
talk to who isn't a stranger.
505
00:21:32,610 --> 00:21:33,945
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
506
00:21:35,213 --> 00:21:37,751
- Hello.
- There's something going on with Mark.
507
00:21:37,776 --> 00:21:39,227
- What do you mean?
- I was going through his pockets,
508
00:21:39,251 --> 00:21:40,816
and I found this list of websites.
509
00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:43,052
Rob, you should have seen
some of the stuff on there.
510
00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:44,955
Have you ever heard of a boo-cake?
511
00:21:45,752 --> 00:21:47,990
- A what?
- It's when a lady
512
00:21:48,025 --> 00:21:49,720
just sits there with her mouth open
513
00:21:49,745 --> 00:21:51,572
while a gang of men hover over her
514
00:21:51,597 --> 00:21:54,096
like they are all angrily
watering the same plant.
515
00:21:54,131 --> 00:21:55,541
Oh, bukkake.
516
00:21:55,566 --> 00:21:57,663
It's awful. I've Googled and it says it
517
00:21:57,688 --> 00:21:59,689
can have a serious effect on your life.
518
00:21:59,714 --> 00:22:01,980
- Bukkake?
- No. Porn addiction.
519
00:22:02,005 --> 00:22:03,538
- What?
- It all makes sense.
520
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:06,341
This is why he's been acting
so weird for the last few weeks.
521
00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:09,177
They say it can cause depression,
it can affect your relationships,
522
00:22:09,212 --> 00:22:10,387
your work.
523
00:22:10,426 --> 00:22:12,512
Hon, I'm sure there's some
more logical explanation.
524
00:22:12,537 --> 00:22:14,293
We've not had sex in nine weeks.
525
00:22:14,318 --> 00:22:15,544
I mean, we've had droughts before,
526
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:18,738
but usually after a week or two,
I at least get a sleepy erection
527
00:22:18,763 --> 00:22:20,193
pressed into the small of my back.
528
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:21,277
Too much information.
529
00:22:21,302 --> 00:22:23,246
Do you think I should
confront him about it?
530
00:22:23,557 --> 00:22:25,092
No. No, just...
531
00:22:26,952 --> 00:22:28,248
Give it a bit more time.
532
00:22:28,311 --> 00:22:29,822
I'm sure it will sort itself out.
533
00:22:30,289 --> 00:22:31,455
Sort?
534
00:22:31,490 --> 00:22:34,493
Look, I have to go but I'll
pop around tomorrow, all right?
535
00:22:34,827 --> 00:22:35,828
(GROANS)
536
00:23:19,002 --> 00:23:20,269
(BLOWS AIR)
537
00:23:51,692 --> 00:23:55,894
This is so exciting.
Reminds me of the old days.
538
00:23:55,929 --> 00:23:59,698
I used to be a bit of an actress
myself, before I had Summer.
539
00:23:59,733 --> 00:24:01,499
I always loved being on set.
540
00:24:01,534 --> 00:24:02,534
How's she doing?
541
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:05,527
Yeah, she's great, she's really excited.
542
00:24:07,674 --> 00:24:08,675
Rob?
543
00:24:09,232 --> 00:24:10,298
Carly!
544
00:24:10,396 --> 00:24:12,764
- Great to see you!
- Come in.
545
00:24:12,979 --> 00:24:15,567
Wow, you look great. Love the shoes.
546
00:24:15,653 --> 00:24:18,883
Uh, this is Summer, who you'll
be having sex with this morning.
547
00:24:18,926 --> 00:24:20,567
Hiya.
548
00:24:21,098 --> 00:24:25,255
Nice to meet you, Carly. I thought
you were just great in Emmerdale.
549
00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:29,156
Oh, listen, just so it's all
cleared up, that Twitter stuff...
550
00:24:29,181 --> 00:24:31,163
I was just retweeting
a joke someone said.
551
00:24:31,765 --> 00:24:33,966
I've got nothing against blacks.
552
00:24:37,501 --> 00:24:41,270
Great. Okay. You two should
probably decide what you want to do.
553
00:24:41,305 --> 00:24:43,188
The choreography is
totally up for grabs,
554
00:24:43,213 --> 00:24:45,648
but just be prepared
that if it's too soft,
555
00:24:45,673 --> 00:24:47,079
people are gonna call bullshit.
556
00:24:47,104 --> 00:24:48,149
Sure.
557
00:24:48,183 --> 00:24:51,455
I'm cool. I just don't want to shove
anything up anywhere or nothing.
558
00:24:51,804 --> 00:24:52,876
ROBYN: Understood.
559
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,064
You okay with nudity?
560
00:24:54,097 --> 00:24:55,465
As long as it's tasteful.
561
00:24:55,558 --> 00:24:58,688
- PETER: Hi.
- ROBYN: This is Peter, the Director.
562
00:24:58,723 --> 00:25:01,791
So, plan is to keep it
really glossy and premium.
563
00:25:01,826 --> 00:25:04,354
We'll go for a narrow depth
of field, shooting on 4k,
564
00:25:04,433 --> 00:25:07,188
with a beautiful backlight
for that sensual feel.
565
00:25:07,213 --> 00:25:08,320
Sure.
566
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,040
We're going with the narrative that it's
567
00:25:10,064 --> 00:25:11,492
Carly's boyfriend behind the camera.
568
00:25:11,516 --> 00:25:12,582
Clever
569
00:25:12,617 --> 00:25:15,547
- How's your porn talk?
- Porn talk?
570
00:25:15,609 --> 00:25:17,538
Sex tape 101. Nothing worse than seeing
571
00:25:17,563 --> 00:25:19,199
a woman with the dead eyes of a shark,
572
00:25:19,223 --> 00:25:20,344
mumbling her way through it
573
00:25:20,369 --> 00:25:22,489
like it's homework. Naming no names.
Paris Hilton.
574
00:25:23,293 --> 00:25:27,930
So plenty of... (MOANING)
575
00:25:27,965 --> 00:25:30,199
"That's it! That's it!"
That kind of thing.
576
00:25:30,234 --> 00:25:32,368
Plenty of squeaks and squeals.
577
00:25:32,403 --> 00:25:36,405
(SQUEALING) Always good.
A little bit of a tremble.
578
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,408
Just have fun with it. Be creative.
579
00:25:39,443 --> 00:25:43,211
"Ooh. Stick it up there. Scissor me."
580
00:25:43,246 --> 00:25:46,182
"Come on, you filthy bitch.
Suck it like a fig."
581
00:25:47,383 --> 00:25:49,952
Sorry, I just... (GAGGING)
582
00:25:51,054 --> 00:25:55,055
(RETCHING)
583
00:25:55,090 --> 00:25:57,325
CARLY: Can somebody get
us some mints or something?
584
00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:00,227
Summer!
585
00:26:00,550 --> 00:26:02,990
She's never done anything like this.
It must be stage fright.
586
00:26:04,065 --> 00:26:06,433
Summer. It's Robyn. Can I come in?
587
00:26:06,468 --> 00:26:08,470
You know, you don't have to do this.
588
00:26:09,538 --> 00:26:11,171
Sweetie,
589
00:26:11,206 --> 00:26:13,513
there's a lot of people
out here putting a lot
590
00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:15,575
of effort into getting
this done for you.
591
00:26:15,610 --> 00:26:17,310
Remember what we always say.
592
00:26:17,345 --> 00:26:20,045
"Being professional is doing
the things that you love to do"
593
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,216
"on the days you don't
feel like doing them."
594
00:26:24,047 --> 00:26:25,048
She'll be fine.
595
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:29,188
I remember her first
Lion King audition at 11.
596
00:26:29,223 --> 00:26:30,858
Bundle of nerves. All worried about
597
00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:32,725
missing school, and all this nonsense.
598
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,593
Get's in the room, blew it.
599
00:26:34,628 --> 00:26:38,330
Can't remember her words,
forgets all the steps. Useless.
600
00:26:38,365 --> 00:26:40,566
So when we get home, I make her pay back
601
00:26:40,591 --> 00:26:42,501
all our train fares up to London
602
00:26:42,536 --> 00:26:45,075
out of her pocket money.
So she'd understand
603
00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:47,130
the sacrifices people make for her.
604
00:26:47,775 --> 00:26:49,542
Never fluffed an audition again.
605
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:57,131
Summer. You open that
door right now, young lady.
606
00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:12,033
Summer, if you're not 100%
comfortable, we can pull the plug.
607
00:27:12,058 --> 00:27:13,378
I don't want to be unprofessional
608
00:27:13,433 --> 00:27:15,075
- You're not.
- Mum would be furious.
609
00:27:15,102 --> 00:27:18,438
Don't take this the wrong way, but
your mum is being a bit of an ass.
610
00:27:20,296 --> 00:27:21,939
This is your call.
611
00:27:22,093 --> 00:27:23,586
I'm scared that I'm
gonna look like an idiot.
612
00:27:23,610 --> 00:27:25,193
There's a whole team of people out there
613
00:27:25,217 --> 00:27:27,265
whose job it is to make
sure you look great.
614
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:30,149
You don't understand, I
don't know what I'm doing.
615
00:27:30,366 --> 00:27:31,630
Why don't you just pretend
you're having sex
616
00:27:31,654 --> 00:27:32,767
with your boyfriend or something?
617
00:27:32,791 --> 00:27:35,360
No, I literally mean I
don't know what I'm doing.
618
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:39,958
I'm a virgin.
619
00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:45,496
And?
620
00:27:46,077 --> 00:27:48,165
- Well she's terrified.
- And...
621
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,500
She doesn't want to do the tape.
622
00:27:49,535 --> 00:27:50,834
So convince her.
623
00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:54,037
I'm not sure I should be convincing
a 17-year-old to do pornography.
624
00:27:54,072 --> 00:27:57,213
What is it you think we do, Robyn?
The glossy, well-thumbed magazines.
625
00:27:57,346 --> 00:27:59,309
The websites full of
salacious little thumbnails.
626
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,777
The mail online is essentially
a porn-hub for the masses.
627
00:28:01,812 --> 00:28:03,779
I thought Pornhub was
pornhub for the masses.
628
00:28:03,814 --> 00:28:05,689
In less than 17 hours, news will be out
629
00:28:05,721 --> 00:28:07,194
that Summer has been
dropped by her label.
630
00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:09,108
And when that happens,
her career will be over.
631
00:28:09,133 --> 00:28:10,953
She'll be on the scrap-heap by 18.
632
00:28:10,988 --> 00:28:12,922
A couple of years of
Panto if she's lucky.
633
00:28:12,957 --> 00:28:16,359
And nothing but the wasteland
of reality television awaits.
634
00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:18,961
You can't save her soul,
focus on her career.
635
00:28:18,996 --> 00:28:22,198
She may be playing coy now, but
when she's gone from hot to not,
636
00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:24,053
she'll be sucking a
runner off in an alleyway
637
00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:25,833
for a 30-second OB on
Good Morning, Britain.
638
00:28:25,868 --> 00:28:27,438
- Just to keep the dream alive.
- Couldn't we just...
639
00:28:27,462 --> 00:28:28,781
This was your idea. You make it work.
640
00:28:28,805 --> 00:28:30,553
Or instead of a sex tape,
we'll be making a
641
00:28:30,578 --> 00:28:32,340
snuff tape of me murdering you.
642
00:28:32,375 --> 00:28:34,625
Which I shall sell to recoup
the money you've wasted
643
00:28:34,663 --> 00:28:37,211
hiring all these people
not to make a sex tape!
644
00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:48,207
Keep it coming. I want to
look like a ten-year-old boy
645
00:28:48,233 --> 00:28:49,691
before you're done.
646
00:28:50,926 --> 00:28:52,526
ROBYN: I can't believe she's a virgin.
647
00:28:52,942 --> 00:28:57,030
Wow. When I was Summer's age, my
hymen was a long-forgotten dream.
648
00:28:57,065 --> 00:28:59,132
We can't force her
to lose her virginity.
649
00:28:59,167 --> 00:29:01,235
Oh, come on. It's with a girl.
Girls don't count.
650
00:29:01,270 --> 00:29:04,238
I watched her duet with
Bryn Turfell in Children in Need.
651
00:29:04,273 --> 00:29:06,140
We could get her drunk. That's what I do
652
00:29:06,165 --> 00:29:07,922
when I don't want to
have sex with someone.
653
00:29:08,309 --> 00:29:11,054
Look, we've all had to fake
it at some point in our lives.
654
00:29:11,079 --> 00:29:13,418
It's an unfortunate inevitability
of the human condition.
655
00:29:14,115 --> 00:29:15,281
That's it.
656
00:29:15,316 --> 00:29:16,349
What's what?
657
00:29:16,384 --> 00:29:17,683
A body double.
658
00:29:17,718 --> 00:29:20,130
Where on earth are we going to
find a five-foot-three 17-year-old,
659
00:29:20,154 --> 00:29:22,394
who's willing to have sex on
camera at such short notice?
660
00:29:22,423 --> 00:29:24,223
What are you? Like, 4'4"?
661
00:29:24,258 --> 00:29:26,224
MELODY: I'm white, if
you haven't noticed.
662
00:29:26,259 --> 00:29:27,721
And I'm not gonna pretend to have sex
663
00:29:27,745 --> 00:29:30,412
with a racist soap actress
on camera for money, okay?
664
00:29:30,459 --> 00:29:32,499
- There is a line.
- Who said anything about money?
665
00:29:32,753 --> 00:29:35,144
Okay. You call every adult entertainment
666
00:29:35,177 --> 00:29:36,620
company within a thirty-mile radius
667
00:29:36,677 --> 00:29:39,248
and see if they have anyone who
matches Summer's description.
668
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,880
You try escort agencies,
massage parlors.
669
00:29:41,907 --> 00:29:43,234
Go to the nearest phone box and look
670
00:29:43,258 --> 00:29:44,779
at cards on the wall if you have to.
671
00:29:44,921 --> 00:29:46,288
I'll deal with upstairs.
672
00:29:51,804 --> 00:29:53,053
Ed, Joan, Hi.
673
00:29:54,007 --> 00:29:55,085
Is everything all right?
674
00:29:55,178 --> 00:29:57,454
Of course. We're just
ironing out a few kinks.
675
00:29:57,489 --> 00:29:58,952
Do you know where Carly is?
676
00:29:58,983 --> 00:30:02,126
I think she's getting changed.
Uh, what sort of kinks?
677
00:30:02,507 --> 00:30:04,027
(PHONE RINGING) I'm so sorry.
678
00:30:04,062 --> 00:30:05,204
Hello.
679
00:30:05,250 --> 00:30:08,599
Right. We're set up and ready to go
just as soon as I receive the file.
680
00:30:08,634 --> 00:30:10,066
Great.
681
00:30:10,101 --> 00:30:11,182
How are things on your end?
682
00:30:11,211 --> 00:30:13,236
What? Yeah. Fine.
683
00:30:13,271 --> 00:30:15,338
Exciting, isn't it? I feel like a spy.
684
00:30:15,373 --> 00:30:16,555
Yeah.
685
00:30:16,657 --> 00:30:18,812
Listen, Rob. I just
wanted to say, thank you
686
00:30:18,837 --> 00:30:20,930
very much, again, for
helping me out like this.
687
00:30:20,969 --> 00:30:22,010
That's fine.
688
00:30:22,045 --> 00:30:24,216
To be honest, it got
to a point where I...
689
00:30:24,263 --> 00:30:25,341
What are you doing out here?
690
00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:26,589
- Ah.
- Nothing.
691
00:30:26,617 --> 00:30:27,849
ROBYN: Is that Ruth?
692
00:30:27,881 --> 00:30:29,505
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
693
00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:33,229
- Who are you on the phone to?
- It's... Sorry, it's work.
694
00:30:33,364 --> 00:30:36,020
Yeah, that's fine. I will get on to that
695
00:30:36,045 --> 00:30:37,659
just as soon as I have a minute.
696
00:30:37,694 --> 00:30:39,054
(WHISPERING) I'll be out in a sec.
697
00:30:40,697 --> 00:30:42,564
I thought she thought
you were still at work.
698
00:30:42,599 --> 00:30:45,500
Yeah, well, I told her I
had to work from home today.
699
00:30:45,535 --> 00:30:47,963
I needed my computers
to set up the transfers.
700
00:30:47,988 --> 00:30:49,370
Don't call me again.
701
00:30:49,405 --> 00:30:51,941
- I'll drop the footage by tonight. OK?
- Yeah, Rob, I...
702
00:30:52,016 --> 00:30:53,017
Good.
703
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,300
(SNORTING)
704
00:31:00,366 --> 00:31:01,633
ROBYN: Carly.
705
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,388
Want one?
706
00:31:09,014 --> 00:31:11,148
How do you feel about
having sex with someone else?
707
00:31:11,426 --> 00:31:12,727
What do you mean?
708
00:31:12,762 --> 00:31:15,562
We're looking into getting a
body double for Summer. She's...
709
00:31:15,597 --> 00:31:16,629
Shy.
710
00:31:16,664 --> 00:31:17,664
Will it affect me fee?
711
00:31:17,699 --> 00:31:18,723
Nope.
712
00:31:18,748 --> 00:31:21,049
Then I don't care who I'm
pretending to have sex with.
713
00:31:21,136 --> 00:31:24,572
(PHONE RINGING)
714
00:31:25,673 --> 00:31:26,673
Hello.
715
00:31:26,708 --> 00:31:29,308
Okay, something funny
is definitely going on.
716
00:31:29,343 --> 00:31:30,777
- What?
- I just walked in on Mark,
717
00:31:30,812 --> 00:31:32,589
hiding in the shed on
the phone to somebody.
718
00:31:32,613 --> 00:31:33,914
- So?
- So?
719
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:35,381
You should have seen his face.
720
00:31:35,416 --> 00:31:38,050
He looked like Kelly after
she's eaten one of my lipsticks.
721
00:31:38,085 --> 00:31:39,383
Last night you said he
was addicted to porn.
722
00:31:39,407 --> 00:31:41,466
Yes, well, what if it's worse than that?
723
00:31:41,491 --> 00:31:43,422
I don't know, he seemed super shady.
724
00:31:43,457 --> 00:31:46,392
And I heard a woman's voice
on the other end of the line.
725
00:31:46,427 --> 00:31:48,243
Mark worships the ground you walk on.
726
00:31:48,268 --> 00:31:51,030
He would never do anything
to hurt you or the kids.
727
00:31:52,826 --> 00:31:55,677
I gotta go. Um, I'll
pop by after work, okay?
728
00:31:55,802 --> 00:31:56,818
Okay bye.
729
00:31:56,879 --> 00:31:57,980
I love you.
730
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,674
(SIGHS)
731
00:32:02,937 --> 00:32:05,206
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
732
00:32:05,562 --> 00:32:07,341
Okay, so there's been a change of plans.
733
00:32:07,376 --> 00:32:08,774
We'll be using a double for Summer,
734
00:32:08,798 --> 00:32:10,400
so we're gonna need to
go with the grunge here.
735
00:32:10,424 --> 00:32:11,883
Handheld amateur feel, just...
736
00:32:11,908 --> 00:32:14,914
Will this double be expecting
a share of the royalty, too?
737
00:32:14,949 --> 00:32:16,316
MELODY: Robyn,
738
00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:18,184
Can I get a word?
739
00:32:18,219 --> 00:32:20,088
Could you excuse me for
just a minute, please?
740
00:32:22,823 --> 00:32:24,457
Okay. So, I've called everywhere.
741
00:32:24,492 --> 00:32:25,858
All the adult film companies
742
00:32:25,893 --> 00:32:27,726
were talking about unions and licenses
743
00:32:27,761 --> 00:32:29,329
and asking if we have a permit.
744
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,092
Okay, okay. What about you?
745
00:32:31,225 --> 00:32:33,932
No escort agencies were happy
for their girls to appear on film.
746
00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:35,478
I've got a few leads I can follow up on,
747
00:32:35,502 --> 00:32:36,709
but it's a long shot.
748
00:32:36,756 --> 00:32:38,203
Okay. Keep trying,
749
00:32:38,238 --> 00:32:39,849
but if we have no luck
in the next half hour,
750
00:32:39,873 --> 00:32:41,151
I guess we'll just have to cancel.
751
00:32:41,175 --> 00:32:42,176
Cancel?
752
00:32:43,310 --> 00:32:44,476
What about Summer?
753
00:32:44,511 --> 00:32:46,311
This is her career we're talking about.
754
00:32:46,346 --> 00:32:48,258
We're trying everything
we can to make this work.
755
00:32:48,282 --> 00:32:50,183
Well, she'll just have to do it herself.
756
00:32:50,450 --> 00:32:51,575
Mrs. Bolton,
757
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:52,928
your daughter is
uncomfortable with this.
758
00:32:52,952 --> 00:32:54,324
Now, that may not be an issue for you,
759
00:32:54,348 --> 00:32:56,715
but I'm afraid it is an issue for me.
760
00:32:56,789 --> 00:32:57,990
I beg your pardon?
761
00:32:59,058 --> 00:33:01,623
Look. We've still got 17 hours left.
762
00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:03,966
We could get her a tattoo
or a cocaine addiction.
763
00:33:03,991 --> 00:33:05,440
It's not gonna set the world alight,
764
00:33:05,464 --> 00:33:07,064
But, it may go some way to counteract...
765
00:33:07,098 --> 00:33:08,099
I'll do it.
766
00:33:08,934 --> 00:33:09,949
Excuse me?
767
00:33:09,981 --> 00:33:12,002
Well, we're the same height, same size.
768
00:33:12,037 --> 00:33:14,105
People are always
mistaking us for sisters.
769
00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:15,872
Really?
770
00:33:15,907 --> 00:33:17,073
My Pilates teacher
771
00:33:17,108 --> 00:33:19,277
says I still have the
body of an 18-year-old.
772
00:33:19,962 --> 00:33:21,162
So, I may as well
773
00:33:21,346 --> 00:33:23,980
let somebody bloody see it for a change.
774
00:33:24,015 --> 00:33:26,081
- Are you sure you...
- I spent a lifetime...
775
00:33:26,116 --> 00:33:28,251
...getting this girl
to where she is today.
776
00:33:28,286 --> 00:33:30,420
Not all of us were
afforded those opportunities
777
00:33:30,455 --> 00:33:32,154
and I do not intend for it to be over
778
00:33:32,189 --> 00:33:33,389
before it's barely begun.
779
00:33:33,424 --> 00:33:34,424
So...
780
00:33:34,458 --> 00:33:36,378
Let's just get this over
and done with, shall we?
781
00:33:37,361 --> 00:33:40,998
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
782
00:34:32,210 --> 00:34:33,570
MRS. BOLTON: (ON SCREEN) Oh, yeah!
783
00:34:34,222 --> 00:34:36,556
Get me the number of
her Pilates instructor.
784
00:34:36,584 --> 00:34:39,086
MRS. BOLTON: (ON SCREEN)
Oh, yeah! Fuck harder.
785
00:34:39,784 --> 00:34:40,859
Girl's a natural.
786
00:34:40,884 --> 00:34:41,991
When's it going live?
787
00:34:42,016 --> 00:34:43,749
Being uploaded tonight.
And then it'll leak
788
00:34:43,774 --> 00:34:45,178
before any news of her deal gets out.
789
00:34:45,202 --> 00:34:46,335
Turn it off, now.
790
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,992
It's reminding me of boarding school.
791
00:34:48,123 --> 00:34:49,212
MRS. BOLTON: (ON SCREEN) Jesus!
792
00:34:49,236 --> 00:34:50,766
Well, whatever happens
with Summer's career,
793
00:34:50,790 --> 00:34:52,702
I think you've done wonders
for her parents' marriage.
794
00:34:52,726 --> 00:34:54,668
I'm gonna have to phone
my mum and break the news.
795
00:34:54,692 --> 00:34:56,761
Melody? I think this is for you.
796
00:34:57,002 --> 00:34:59,697
Melody-Incase your printer breaks again
07700900147 Craig (IT Guy)
797
00:34:59,801 --> 00:35:00,968
Ooh!
798
00:35:01,158 --> 00:35:03,916
IT boy wants to log into your...
799
00:35:04,586 --> 00:35:06,122
Don't know any computer words.
Something funny.
800
00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:07,157
Stop it.
801
00:35:07,182 --> 00:35:08,273
Seriously though, you're
not really gonna go out
802
00:35:08,297 --> 00:35:09,406
with an IT boy, are you?
803
00:35:09,431 --> 00:35:11,064
Melody, go out with whoever you like.
804
00:35:11,089 --> 00:35:12,547
Eve's just jealous, 'cause...
805
00:35:12,607 --> 00:35:13,832
There's no RAM in her hard drive.
806
00:35:13,856 --> 00:35:14,857
Oh! There it is!
807
00:35:20,620 --> 00:35:22,247
You know, right now would
be a good time to say
808
00:35:22,271 --> 00:35:24,311
something about you keeping
your dick in your pants.
809
00:35:24,430 --> 00:35:25,930
I know. I know.
810
00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:27,564
Good.
811
00:35:27,862 --> 00:35:29,782
Really bums me out when
you pull stuff like this.
812
00:35:30,301 --> 00:35:32,535
I'm trying. I really do
want to be better.
813
00:35:32,575 --> 00:35:35,004
I know, I know you do. I know.
(URINATING)
814
00:35:36,941 --> 00:35:38,385
(SIGHS) Oh, man. I remember
when I did this
815
00:35:38,409 --> 00:35:39,542
for the first time around.
816
00:35:39,577 --> 00:35:41,254
(CHUCKLES) Whoa!
817
00:35:41,496 --> 00:35:43,179
The feeling of it being real just
818
00:35:43,214 --> 00:35:45,317
hits you like a truck.
819
00:35:45,342 --> 00:35:47,529
Like, all at once.
820
00:35:47,584 --> 00:35:48,629
Up until that point in my life,
821
00:35:48,653 --> 00:35:49,986
nothing had ever been so...
822
00:35:51,689 --> 00:35:53,523
Permanent. You know?
823
00:35:53,889 --> 00:35:56,091
I just kept staring at it
till my eyes went blurry.
824
00:35:56,368 --> 00:35:59,227
Then, I think I cried for, like, a day.
825
00:35:59,418 --> 00:36:01,254
(TOILET FLUSHES) Then,
I was really happy.
826
00:36:02,532 --> 00:36:03,632
You're not helping.
827
00:36:03,667 --> 00:36:04,867
(ZIPS DRESS)
828
00:36:06,986 --> 00:36:08,970
Okay. All right, don't stare at it.
Just...
829
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,015
- Mmm... Name the 50 states.
- What?
830
00:36:11,118 --> 00:36:12,284
Hey! Just something to
take your mind off of it.
831
00:36:12,308 --> 00:36:14,759
I'm not in kindergarten. I'm not
naming any of the 50 states...
832
00:36:14,783 --> 00:36:17,244
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas
833
00:36:17,279 --> 00:36:18,446
California, Colorado
834
00:36:18,481 --> 00:36:20,548
- Delaware... Connecticut
- You missed Connecticut.
835
00:36:20,583 --> 00:36:22,016
Delaware, Florida Florida...
836
00:36:22,051 --> 00:36:24,685
BOTH: Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho
837
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:26,554
Illinois, Indiana
838
00:36:26,589 --> 00:36:28,522
Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky
839
00:36:28,557 --> 00:36:31,091
Louisiana, Maine,
Maryland, Massachusetts
840
00:36:31,126 --> 00:36:33,026
Michigan, Minnesota
841
00:36:33,061 --> 00:36:35,263
Missouri, Mississippi...
842
00:36:36,030 --> 00:36:37,031
What does it say?
843
00:36:40,233 --> 00:36:41,315
I'm not pregnant.
844
00:36:41,357 --> 00:36:42,685
(SIGHS) Okay!
845
00:36:43,022 --> 00:36:44,104
Okay!
846
00:36:44,405 --> 00:36:45,671
Well, that's good.
847
00:36:45,699 --> 00:36:46,899
That's what you wanted, right?
848
00:36:47,634 --> 00:36:48,769
Absolutely!
849
00:36:50,369 --> 00:36:51,370
Absolutely.
850
00:36:53,006 --> 00:36:54,639
Yeah. Good.
851
00:36:54,674 --> 00:36:56,975
(DOOR HANDLE RATTLING)
KELLY: Mommy, I need to poo!
852
00:36:57,150 --> 00:36:59,211
Thank you for letting us know.
853
00:37:00,346 --> 00:37:01,876
- I'll leave you to it.
- Okay...
854
00:37:01,927 --> 00:37:03,527
Thank you. Hi, honey.
855
00:37:03,649 --> 00:37:04,650
And, next!
856
00:37:05,484 --> 00:37:07,520
Welcome to my weird...
857
00:37:07,953 --> 00:37:08,954
Office.
858
00:37:10,388 --> 00:37:11,489
How may I help you?
859
00:37:14,814 --> 00:37:15,880
Here.
860
00:37:15,905 --> 00:37:16,906
Thank you.
861
00:37:19,964 --> 00:37:21,364
(TYPING)
862
00:37:21,399 --> 00:37:23,333
(WOMAN MOANING ON SCREEN)
863
00:37:23,368 --> 00:37:24,693
Blimey.
864
00:37:25,091 --> 00:37:27,439
She did not do that on
Britain's Got Talent.
865
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,442
(MOANING CONTINUES)
866
00:37:38,682 --> 00:37:39,682
You were right.
867
00:37:41,179 --> 00:37:43,485
I opened his laptop to send an email
868
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,787
and it was right there.
869
00:37:44,822 --> 00:37:46,233
(STAMMERING) Yes. I, um...
870
00:37:46,290 --> 00:37:47,757
- He's a porn addict.
- I... What?
871
00:37:47,925 --> 00:37:51,427
(MOANING CONTINUES)
872
00:37:52,662 --> 00:37:53,663
Is this a thing?
873
00:37:54,664 --> 00:37:55,964
No! I...
874
00:37:55,999 --> 00:37:58,111
Mark. Seriously, I want
you to be honest with me.
875
00:37:58,176 --> 00:37:59,208
I...
876
00:37:59,368 --> 00:38:01,237
(MOANING CONTINUES)
877
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:07,595
(VOICE BREAKING) I'm addicted to porn.
878
00:38:08,911 --> 00:38:09,951
Jesus. (BREATHING HEAVILY)
879
00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:12,915
- Mark. Why wouldn't you tell me?
- I'm so sorry.
880
00:38:13,933 --> 00:38:14,934
I...
881
00:38:15,602 --> 00:38:17,100
(MOANING CONTINUES)
882
00:38:17,173 --> 00:38:18,275
Was ashamed.
883
00:38:19,437 --> 00:38:21,204
I... Was...
884
00:38:21,229 --> 00:38:22,725
Sorry, I'm just going to
mute this for a second.
885
00:38:22,749 --> 00:38:23,982
(NERVOUSLY) Maybe I should...
886
00:38:24,159 --> 00:38:26,618
Why would you think you have to
lie about something like this?
887
00:38:26,643 --> 00:38:27,644
Mark, I mean...
888
00:38:28,488 --> 00:38:30,048
God, you know...
889
00:38:30,290 --> 00:38:33,257
You need to go off into the
shed and have a handy, just...
890
00:38:33,502 --> 00:38:34,902
Lock the door, you know. I don't...
891
00:38:36,871 --> 00:38:38,415
I mean, that's not a
relationship, is it?
892
00:38:38,439 --> 00:38:40,439
Where you can't even tell
me if something is wrong?
893
00:38:41,442 --> 00:38:43,677
You can talk to me, you stupid a-hole.
894
00:38:44,074 --> 00:38:45,497
God, I mean...
895
00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:47,044
Who knows? Maybe I would even wanna
896
00:38:47,069 --> 00:38:48,522
watch it with you, you know?
897
00:38:48,556 --> 00:38:50,690
I'm not so vanilla that I
can't... (MOANING RESUMES)
898
00:38:50,749 --> 00:38:51,993
Oh, my god!
899
00:38:52,152 --> 00:38:53,233
Is that Summer Bolton? Hmm.
900
00:38:53,452 --> 00:38:55,854
SUMMER: (ON THE SCREEN)
Yeah. Give it to me! Oh...
901
00:38:56,023 --> 00:38:58,790
I'm just gonna leave you to...
902
00:38:58,825 --> 00:39:01,262
(MOANING CONTINUES)
903
00:39:01,861 --> 00:39:02,996
My goodness!
904
00:39:03,399 --> 00:39:04,499
(GASPS)
905
00:39:04,588 --> 00:39:06,088
What must her poor mother think?
906
00:39:06,599 --> 00:39:07,600
(SCOFFS)
907
00:39:08,287 --> 00:39:09,421
(DOOR OPENING)
908
00:39:13,897 --> 00:39:15,033
Hey. What's up?
909
00:39:17,559 --> 00:39:19,160
Okay, don't be annoyed
at me or anything.
910
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,747
I swear I wasn't being stalker-y,
911
00:39:21,809 --> 00:39:23,701
- I just... I saw it in the bin.
- What?
912
00:39:31,921 --> 00:39:33,733
Did you... I mean...
913
00:39:33,803 --> 00:39:38,215
I was a couple of days late, so I
did it as a precaution, but I'm not.
914
00:39:40,491 --> 00:39:41,550
Okay.
915
00:39:41,952 --> 00:39:43,756
(STAMMERING) I'm just...
I'm sorry, I just...
916
00:39:43,796 --> 00:39:45,522
I saw it, and then my
heart was just like...
917
00:39:46,736 --> 00:39:48,002
I mean, I know we're trying,
918
00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:50,425
but seeing it just made me feel...
919
00:39:50,835 --> 00:39:51,967
Like it was so much more real.
920
00:39:51,991 --> 00:39:53,304
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to panic you.
921
00:39:53,328 --> 00:39:55,088
Oh, no, no. I... I wasn't panicked.
I was...
922
00:39:56,006 --> 00:39:59,143
I don't know. I was... I was... happy.
923
00:39:59,977 --> 00:40:01,546
- Really?
- Yeah. I mean...
924
00:40:01,741 --> 00:40:04,061
It's mental. You know I got a
fear because of my dad not
925
00:40:04,086 --> 00:40:06,259
being around and my little
sister doing it too young,
926
00:40:06,283 --> 00:40:07,816
and then watching them struggle.
927
00:40:07,851 --> 00:40:10,119
But I saw it, and it
just made me feel like...
928
00:40:10,154 --> 00:40:12,789
It was a feeling in my gut.
It said, "Yeah, we'd crush it."
929
00:40:14,024 --> 00:40:15,291
Not literally.
930
00:40:15,326 --> 00:40:18,508
I'm sorry. No. I... I know I
sound like a nutjob right now.
931
00:40:18,533 --> 00:40:19,547
You weren't scared?
932
00:40:19,572 --> 00:40:20,805
Scared?
933
00:40:20,997 --> 00:40:22,697
No, I was...
934
00:40:22,732 --> 00:40:25,168
Yes, I was scared, but
more excited though.
935
00:40:26,936 --> 00:40:28,037
Legit.
936
00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:30,511
I love you.
937
00:40:32,075 --> 00:40:33,775
I love you too, kid.
938
00:40:40,242 --> 00:40:41,682
Do you wanna take another run at it?
939
00:40:42,283 --> 00:40:43,417
Absolutely.
940
00:40:45,188 --> 00:40:46,639
Hmm. Just give me five minutes.
941
00:40:50,314 --> 00:40:52,516
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
942
00:42:22,635 --> 00:42:24,881
(FROG CROAKING)
943
00:42:25,415 --> 00:42:27,150
It's in my nature.
944
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,282
(SONG RESUMES PLAYING)
945
00:42:31,332 --> 00:42:35,882
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