Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,049
Oh, my God, Clem,
the barista was not hitting on you.
2
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:07,094
He was, Shannon.
3
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,183
He kept smiling, making small talk.
4
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,186
He called me Hot Vanilla.
5
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,579
Because that's what you ordered.
6
00:00:15,728 --> 00:00:17,974
Why do you always think
everyone's hitting on you?
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,410
Wait. This about
what you told me happened
8
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,021
last week with the UPS man?
9
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,497
[Nick and Shannon laugh]
10
00:00:22,597 --> 00:00:25,982
"I have a package for you"?
That's his job.
11
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,419
NICK: Oh.
12
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,247
Uh, speaking of jobs, I have news.
13
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,771
I might be getting a giant new office!
14
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,512
You've been wanting one. What happened?
15
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:38,125
Well, the professor who had
the office... died, um,
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,865
which is very sad,
17
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,303
but I might be getting
a brand-new giant office!
18
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:45,782
Problem is, all the professors
are angling for this office,
19
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,222
but not all the professors
can invite the dean
20
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:49,875
to their wedding.
21
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,139
Okay, but your mom's not
gonna be happy about this.
22
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,097
She called me last night, ecstatic,
23
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,578
because she finally figured
out the seating chart.
24
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,101
Look, she'll understand.
25
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,061
This is a way for her son
to gain some respect at work.
26
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,671
- [door buzzer sounds]
- CLEM: Ooh.
27
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,194
I hope that's the UPS guy
28
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:07,110
so that I can show you guys
what I'm talking about.
29
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,894
[breathily]: Hello?
30
00:01:10,098 --> 00:01:11,158
JOJO: Hi, is Shannon there?
31
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,768
Tell her it's JoJo.
32
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,987
What? No. No. Oh, my God, no.
33
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,206
I never want to see that douche again!
34
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,512
Shannon, come on!
35
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:20,123
I have your jacket that
you left at my place.
36
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:23,344
Go to hell, JoJo!
37
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,389
With that stuff in the pocket.
38
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,742
All right, come on up.
39
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,267
Wait a second. Is that MC DJ JoJo...
40
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,780
that guy that cheated on you?
41
00:01:34,882 --> 00:01:36,748
Yeah. That's why I dumped his ass
42
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:39,273
and didn't move in with him,
which was a real sacrifice
43
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,797
for me because he lives
right above a Dunkin' Donuts.
44
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,147
[knocking]
45
00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:48,151
Shannon, baby, how you doing?
46
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,328
Girl, I miss you so much.
47
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,591
Oh, yeah? What about
that cashier from Arby's?
48
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,898
Well, she's gone. Baby,
49
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,335
I'm not the cheating liar I used to be.
50
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,382
Okay. Where's my jacket?
51
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,123
Uh, I lied about that.
52
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,604
Get out of here, JoJo.
I never want to see you again.
53
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,171
Wow. Good for you.
54
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,564
Took a lot of maturity.
55
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,219
I'm proud of you, Shannon.
56
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:15,047
Okay.
57
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,485
"I'm proud of you, Shannon"?
Why did you say that?
58
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,051
What are you talking about?
59
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,445
She's 16. You can't praise
her for turning him down.
60
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:24,231
That'll just make her jump
right back into his arms.
61
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,449
Oh, come on, Clem. That's insane.
62
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:28,235
Right, and teenage girls
are famously sane.
63
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,629
Yup, that's what they say about them.
64
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,631
"Oh, look, there's a teenage girl.
65
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:37,113
I bet she's off to make a
super rational decision."
66
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,247
Okay, but don't you think you
might be underestimating Shannon?
67
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,858
[rapid knocking]
68
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,426
Hey! Just got a text from Shannon.
69
00:02:46,526 --> 00:02:47,742
- JoJo!
- [laughing]
70
00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:49,734
I missed us!
71
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,739
[JoJo whoops]
72
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,219
[door closes]
73
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,265
♪
74
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:04,445
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
75
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,576
Hey, Dad.
76
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,795
- Hi.
- [laughs] Hey.
77
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:09,319
So, uh, where's Mom?
78
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,321
Uh, she is making herself a martini.
79
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,236
Mm.
80
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,804
At 11:00 in the morning?
81
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,850
A woman after my own heart.
82
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,635
She's been celebrating ever since
83
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,811
she finished the seating
chart for the wedding.
84
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,813
That thing was killing her,
but it's done.
85
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:28,991
She finally has her life back,
and I finally have my wife back.
86
00:03:30,004 --> 00:03:31,385
♪ I told you. ♪
87
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,038
It's only two people.
88
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:34,388
♪ It'll be fine. ♪
89
00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:38,370
There are my beautiful babies.
90
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:40,771
Hello. Hello. Hello.
91
00:03:40,814 --> 00:03:43,512
- Hello.
- Mmm.
92
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,950
- Rose, I've never seen you in pajamas.
- Oh.
93
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:47,647
Sweetheart, these are not pajamas.
94
00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:48,953
These are my...
95
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,433
relaxation silks.
96
00:03:51,477 --> 00:03:52,695
Mm-hmm.
97
00:03:52,739 --> 00:03:55,437
I'm finally finished
with the seating chart,
98
00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:58,571
and my personal hell is over.
99
00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,791
Uh, Mom, uh, about that...
it's not a big deal,
100
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:03,315
but I need to invite a couple
more people to the wedding.
101
00:04:05,056 --> 00:04:06,622
Oh, God, no.
102
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,235
It's all right, Walt.
This is... this is not a problem.
103
00:04:10,278 --> 00:04:12,498
I'll just take the old seating chart,
104
00:04:12,541 --> 00:04:15,457
put it in the garbage,
and start a new one.
105
00:04:15,501 --> 00:04:17,284
I'm so sorry. I'm just...
106
00:04:17,319 --> 00:04:18,634
I'm trying to get a
bigger office at work...
107
00:04:18,678 --> 00:04:20,767
It's all right. It's all right, Nick.
108
00:04:20,811 --> 00:04:23,639
You know what?
I'm gonna take off my relaxation silks
109
00:04:23,683 --> 00:04:27,295
and put on my "what the hell
did I do to deserve this" pants!
110
00:04:29,123 --> 00:04:30,472
[phone buzzes]
111
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,953
Oh, it's a text from JoJo.
112
00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:34,694
Her stupid ex-boyfriend.
113
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:35,913
SHANNON: Actually he's my
114
00:04:35,956 --> 00:04:37,697
ex-ex-boyfriend.
115
00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:41,788
And he's not stupid. He's a genius.
116
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:43,877
Anyway, I got to go
117
00:04:43,921 --> 00:04:46,575
'cause he got his head
stuck in a banister.
118
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,751
Someone bet him 20
bucks it wouldn't fit.
119
00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:52,103
So, once I get him loose...
he's treating me to Chili's.
120
00:04:54,757 --> 00:04:57,064
Wait. JoJo... I thought she
hated that guy. What happened?
121
00:04:57,108 --> 00:04:59,414
Nick?
122
00:04:59,458 --> 00:05:01,590
Would you like to field this question?
123
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,636
[sighs]
124
00:05:04,942 --> 00:05:08,467
Well, I told Shannon I was proud of her
125
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,599
when she refused to take JoJo back,
126
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,863
which apparently led her back to...
127
00:05:12,906 --> 00:05:15,430
[whispering]: JoJo.
128
00:05:15,474 --> 00:05:16,736
Rookie mistake.
129
00:05:16,779 --> 00:05:18,651
If you want a teenager to do something,
130
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,435
you have to tell 'em the opposite.
131
00:05:20,479 --> 00:05:22,437
He's right. We need to pretend
132
00:05:22,481 --> 00:05:24,962
to like JoJo so that Shannon hates JoJo.
133
00:05:25,005 --> 00:05:28,095
Of course,
Nick always did what we told him.
134
00:05:28,139 --> 00:05:30,445
But for cool kids, the rule applies.
135
00:05:36,016 --> 00:05:37,713
[both laughing]
136
00:05:37,757 --> 00:05:39,802
There's the cutest couple!
137
00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:41,239
- Hi, guys.
- 'Sup?
138
00:05:41,282 --> 00:05:43,067
JoJo, it's so great to see you.
139
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,112
Nick, how great is it to see JoJo?
140
00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:46,809
So great. [laughs]
141
00:05:47,773 --> 00:05:49,943
Because JoJo is an excellent young man
142
00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:51,814
of whom I am a big fan.
143
00:05:52,502 --> 00:05:55,122
Okay, what the hell did you two take?
144
00:05:56,645 --> 00:05:59,866
Yeah, I want some. [laughs]
145
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:01,041
[laughs]
146
00:06:01,085 --> 00:06:03,087
Drug humor... I love it.
147
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,566
NICK [laughs]: Oh, too bad
148
00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:06,786
I have to go, but I'm so glad
you two patched things up.
149
00:06:06,829 --> 00:06:08,005
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, bye, babe.
150
00:06:08,048 --> 00:06:09,223
- Bye.
- Could not
151
00:06:09,267 --> 00:06:11,312
endorse this relationship
any more fully!
152
00:06:11,356 --> 00:06:14,011
I mean, Shannon,
do not let this one get away, okay?
153
00:06:14,054 --> 00:06:15,360
This is the real deal.
154
00:06:15,403 --> 00:06:18,841
JoJo. JoJo. JoJo! JoJo!
155
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,150
- [ringtone plays]
- Oh. I got to take this.
156
00:06:23,194 --> 00:06:24,499
Go-go for JoJo.
157
00:06:24,543 --> 00:06:27,067
"Go-go for JoJo."
158
00:06:27,111 --> 00:06:30,331
That kid is a poet.
159
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,117
Give it up, Clem.
I know what you're doing.
160
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,033
You think that if you're nice to JoJo,
it'll make me not like him.
161
00:06:36,076 --> 00:06:37,556
[sputters] No.
162
00:06:37,599 --> 00:06:38,818
- Is it working?
- What?
163
00:06:40,559 --> 00:06:42,996
Shannon, look, I'm just...
I'm trying to stop you
164
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,042
- from making a huge mistake.
- Clem,
165
00:06:45,085 --> 00:06:47,000
look, I actually really like him,
166
00:06:47,044 --> 00:06:50,047
and, yeah, he hurt me before,
but he's a different guy now.
167
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,092
He's really starting to
get his act together.
168
00:06:52,136 --> 00:06:54,138
I honestly think that that whole
169
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,575
getting his head stuck in
a banister thing was...
170
00:06:56,618 --> 00:06:59,534
it was a real wake-up call for him.
171
00:07:01,145 --> 00:07:04,365
Yo, just booked a bar mitzvah tonight!
172
00:07:04,409 --> 00:07:05,627
Nice!
173
00:07:05,671 --> 00:07:08,152
Yeah. DJ Sesame Bagel got sick.
174
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,632
Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much, babe.
175
00:07:10,676 --> 00:07:12,025
Oh, I can sneak you in if you want.
176
00:07:12,069 --> 00:07:14,201
- No way. Yeah?
- Yeah.
177
00:07:14,245 --> 00:07:16,247
[both make silly noise]
178
00:07:18,256 --> 00:07:19,598
So, that's exciting about the gig.
179
00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:22,644
Yeah, yeah, DJing is my job,
but it's not my passion.
180
00:07:22,688 --> 00:07:23,819
What's your passion?
181
00:07:23,863 --> 00:07:25,169
Pretty women,
182
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,346
especially older ones who
know what they're doing.
183
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:33,020
Okay, I'm ready to go.
See you later, Clem.
184
00:07:33,055 --> 00:07:36,552
Yeah, see you later... ma'am. [laughs]
185
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,276
Shan, you're gonna be late for school!
186
00:07:45,319 --> 00:07:49,715
SHANNON: I know! That's intentional!
187
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:52,807
You really want to
have this conversation
188
00:07:52,842 --> 00:07:53,744
before she goes to school?
189
00:07:53,779 --> 00:07:55,146
Her boyfriend hit on me.
190
00:07:55,189 --> 00:07:56,930
That's something that she needs to know.
191
00:07:56,974 --> 00:07:58,540
I absolutely agree.
192
00:07:58,584 --> 00:08:00,891
And you're sure this is not
like the thing with the UPS man?
193
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,026
Hey, Shan, how was
that bar mitzvah last night?
194
00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:08,899
Amazing. JoJo mixed
Jay-Z with "Hava Nagilah"
195
00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:11,292
and the place went meshuggener.
196
00:08:11,797 --> 00:08:13,599
All right, babe, I have to go to work.
197
00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:14,861
You good?
198
00:08:14,905 --> 00:08:17,472
- I got this.
- All right.
199
00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:18,865
What's going on, Clem?
200
00:08:19,893 --> 00:08:21,999
Well, this isn't easy to say,
201
00:08:22,042 --> 00:08:25,480
but yesterday, when you left
the room to go get your coat,
202
00:08:25,524 --> 00:08:29,093
JoJo... he... he hit on me.
203
00:08:29,136 --> 00:08:32,357
[laughs]
204
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,752
Clem, did he call you
Hot Vanilla, too? Huh?
205
00:08:36,313 --> 00:08:40,017
Okay, maybe I was wrong about
the barista and the UPS guy
206
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,933
and possibly that guy at
Subway because I now know
207
00:08:42,976 --> 00:08:45,457
that "footlong" is a thing
that they say, but...
208
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,285
[sighs heavily]
209
00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:49,722
Trust me, this happened.
210
00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:52,986
Admit it, Clem. You're just saying
this because you don't like JoJo.
211
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:55,728
No. Shannon, I'm saying this
because he hit on me.
212
00:08:55,772 --> 00:08:57,730
He's not a good guy. You deserve better.
213
00:08:57,774 --> 00:08:59,776
Clem, I'll tell you what I deserve.
214
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:01,939
I deserve a sister who doesn't
treat me like I'm an idiot.
215
00:09:02,092 --> 00:09:05,651
You always think you know what's
best for me, but you don't.
216
00:09:06,176 --> 00:09:08,872
Besides, JoJo isn't into old ladies.
217
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:14,573
Well, he was into this one!
218
00:09:17,449 --> 00:09:20,100
And I am not one!
219
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,715
- [knocking]
- Yup. Come in.
220
00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:27,281
Oh, Dean Kaiser. Here, come on in.
221
00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:28,979
Has... Let me, yeah, see if I can get...
222
00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:30,632
Oh, shoot.
223
00:09:30,676 --> 00:09:32,112
Wow.
224
00:09:32,156 --> 00:09:34,245
- It's pretty tight quarters you got here, Nick.
- Yeah.
225
00:09:34,288 --> 00:09:35,594
Uh, so, hey, um,
226
00:09:35,637 --> 00:09:37,901
I got that wedding invitation
you put on my desk.
227
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,077
Yes, yes, very important day for me,
228
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,690
and I really wanted my good
friend and mentor to be there.
229
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:46,474
That's really sweet, but unfortunately
230
00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:49,695
my brother and sister are visiting
from Vermont that weekend.
231
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:52,132
- Oh.
- Yeah, I'm sorry. I'd love to be there,
232
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:55,092
but I just can't leave them alone
on the one night they're in town.
233
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:56,528
Yeah...
234
00:09:56,571 --> 00:09:59,313
You know what? Bring 'em.
235
00:09:59,844 --> 00:10:00,737
Seriously?
236
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:01,699
- Yes.
- To your wedding?
237
00:10:01,729 --> 00:10:03,813
To my wedding, yes.
Let's add a couple more.
238
00:10:03,862 --> 00:10:06,538
The more the merrier. [laughs]
239
00:10:06,581 --> 00:10:08,279
Look, they're coming with their spouses.
240
00:10:08,322 --> 00:10:11,499
Spouses. I love spouses.
I'm about to be a spouse. Bring 'em!
241
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:12,322
Are you sure?
242
00:10:12,336 --> 00:10:15,821
Yes, absolutely. Bring 'em.
Bring 'em all, Dean!
243
00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,331
- Thanks, Nick.
- Yeah.
244
00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,203
- Looking forward to it.
- You got it.
245
00:10:19,246 --> 00:10:21,466
- Okay.
- [laughing]: All right.
246
00:10:21,509 --> 00:10:23,729
All right.
247
00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:25,818
Damn it. Damn it!
248
00:10:30,867 --> 00:10:32,999
So, in addition
to the dean and his wife,
249
00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:35,741
you invited four members of his family?
250
00:10:35,785 --> 00:10:38,265
Your mom is gonna kill you.
251
00:10:38,835 --> 00:10:42,356
Well, if she does,
that opens up one slot.
252
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,228
Oh, and Shannon's never
gonna speak to me again,
253
00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:45,838
so there's another spot.
254
00:10:45,882 --> 00:10:47,797
Ooh, that's great. That's two.
255
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,668
Who else can we piss off?
256
00:10:49,711 --> 00:10:51,278
[knocking on door]
257
00:10:51,322 --> 00:10:54,847
Mm. [clears throat]
258
00:10:54,891 --> 00:10:56,153
- Oh, hey, Dad.
- Hi.
259
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,885
What are you doing here?
260
00:10:57,929 --> 00:10:59,234
I came by to let you know
261
00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:02,194
that I'm gonna need a
plus-one to the wedding.
262
00:11:03,848 --> 00:11:05,458
Okay, but first of all,
263
00:11:05,502 --> 00:11:07,765
you were almost a minus-one.
264
00:11:07,808 --> 00:11:10,768
So you can bring a no one.
265
00:11:10,811 --> 00:11:12,944
Come on, weddings are romantic.
266
00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:14,989
I want to share it with someone special.
267
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,644
Once I settle on who that person is.
268
00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:20,528
Okay, what does that even mean?
269
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,433
It means I'm seriously dating someone,
270
00:11:23,476 --> 00:11:26,784
and I'm dating someone else seriously.
271
00:11:26,827 --> 00:11:29,830
No wonder Shannon goes for awful guys.
272
00:11:29,874 --> 00:11:31,876
Look at who her male role model is.
273
00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:33,007
What are you talking about?
274
00:11:33,591 --> 00:11:35,706
Shannon's boyfriend JoJo hit on Clem.
275
00:11:35,749 --> 00:11:37,011
Her?
276
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,928
Isn't she a little old for him?
277
00:11:42,539 --> 00:11:44,802
- I think he has some sort of weird fetish.
- [both laugh]
278
00:11:44,845 --> 00:11:47,413
Okay, I am not "fetish" old.
279
00:11:48,893 --> 00:11:50,938
I just don't want
Shannon dating some guy
280
00:11:50,982 --> 00:11:52,505
who's horrible and cheating on her.
281
00:11:52,549 --> 00:11:54,289
That type of behavior makes me sick.
282
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,030
It's no way to treat a woman.
283
00:11:57,902 --> 00:12:00,513
That's how you're treating the
women that you're dating right now.
284
00:12:00,557 --> 00:12:03,516
Yeah, but this is my daughter.
285
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,432
And those women are
also someone's daughter.
286
00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:09,304
Yeah, but not mine.
287
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:13,047
Am I not being clear?
288
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:15,876
I don't know what to do.
289
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,791
Shannon doesn't believe
that he hit on me.
290
00:12:17,835 --> 00:12:19,358
Well, if you really want to prove it,
291
00:12:19,401 --> 00:12:21,578
we could catch him in the
act hitting on you again.
292
00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:23,057
Get the whole thing on tape.
293
00:12:23,101 --> 00:12:24,537
Now, you may have to, uh,
294
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:27,845
hoo-chi-waa-waa a little to reel him in.
295
00:12:29,112 --> 00:12:30,282
No. Dad, no.
296
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:32,066
This is an insane idea.
297
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:34,591
You got a better one, Mrs. Robinson?
298
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,288
Come on.
299
00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:37,985
You want to bust this kid or not?
300
00:12:38,029 --> 00:12:40,161
I mean, the last time
that she dated this guy,
301
00:12:40,205 --> 00:12:42,860
she almost moved in with him.
302
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:44,862
You know what? Fine. Let's do it.
303
00:12:44,905 --> 00:12:47,299
On second thought,
I'm not sure we should.
304
00:12:47,342 --> 00:12:50,520
I mean, it's kind of an
abuse of my power as a cop.
305
00:12:51,825 --> 00:12:54,045
[laughs]
306
00:12:54,088 --> 00:12:56,177
Does no one get my sense of humor?
307
00:13:02,855 --> 00:13:05,032
- NICK: Hey, Mom.
- ROSE: Hey, sweetheart.
308
00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:07,701
It has taken me 18 straight hours,
309
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:11,575
but I have single-handedly
rearranged the entire wedding
310
00:13:11,618 --> 00:13:16,449
and squeezed in two extra
seats for your boss.
311
00:13:16,493 --> 00:13:19,017
[laughs] It was dark,
dark days over here,
312
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:22,063
but we got through it, just barely.
313
00:13:22,107 --> 00:13:23,500
Well, thanks, Mom.
314
00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:25,154
- I really appreciate it.
- Mm.
315
00:13:25,197 --> 00:13:27,068
But there's just, uh, one...
316
00:13:27,112 --> 00:13:28,635
- little hiccup.
- Hiccup?
317
00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,637
Oh, God, not a hiccup.
318
00:13:31,659 --> 00:13:33,466
Well, I talked to the dean,
319
00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:36,730
and he is thrilled...
like, thrilled... to come, right?
320
00:13:37,738 --> 00:13:40,691
But, uh, so are the four other people
321
00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:41,953
I told him he could bring.
322
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:46,262
I was in labor 72 hours and... [laughs]
323
00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:48,742
this is how you repay me?
324
00:13:50,378 --> 00:13:51,441
Was I a bad father?
325
00:13:51,484 --> 00:13:53,747
Is this your way of punishing me?
326
00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:55,706
Look, it's going to be fine.
327
00:13:55,749 --> 00:13:57,621
Here, let me see the seating chart.
328
00:13:57,664 --> 00:13:59,318
Okay, what's this in the middle?
329
00:13:59,362 --> 00:14:01,146
Can't we just put the table there?
330
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:02,713
That is the wedding tree.
331
00:14:02,756 --> 00:14:04,236
People put gifts underneath it,
332
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,586
money and messages on its leaves.
333
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:10,024
It is a family tradition,
and my one and only demand.
334
00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:11,591
Mom, you've made dozens of demands.
335
00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:13,680
You didn't let me finish.
336
00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:15,726
About a tree.
337
00:14:15,769 --> 00:14:17,597
Mom, I get it, I understand,
but it would solve all
338
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:21,253
of our problems if we just...
got rid of the tree.
339
00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:24,631
Fine.
340
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,556
I will get rid of the tree.
341
00:14:27,146 --> 00:14:30,480
I will rearrange everything.
342
00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:31,742
Yeah.
343
00:14:31,785 --> 00:14:34,527
Again.
344
00:14:34,571 --> 00:14:38,662
72 hours!
345
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,372
Okay, so this is how it's gonna work:
346
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,287
Linda and I are gonna be
seated right over there.
347
00:14:46,331 --> 00:14:48,044
And as long as I'm facing your table,
348
00:14:48,107 --> 00:14:52,380
my body cam will record every
disgusting act this punk does.
349
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:53,701
That seems great.
350
00:14:53,739 --> 00:14:56,297
And it's so lovely to meet you, Linda.
351
00:14:56,341 --> 00:14:58,343
And who is Linda?
352
00:14:58,386 --> 00:15:00,214
She's my girlfriend.
353
00:15:00,258 --> 00:15:02,390
I can't just be in a restaurant
by myself like a loser.
354
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:03,957
I got to blend in.
355
00:15:04,928 --> 00:15:06,830
This is all very exciting.
356
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:09,267
Good luck getting this
young man to hit on you.
357
00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:11,878
Why, thank you, Linda.
358
00:15:13,314 --> 00:15:14,664
Oh, he's here.
359
00:15:14,707 --> 00:15:16,840
Sit down. Go, go, go.
360
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:19,886
Hey. I was hoping I'd hear from you.
361
00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:22,846
I thought we should talk about
what happened the other day.
362
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,413
You know, when you were at
my apartment with Shannon?
363
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,765
[laughs] You mean when I said, you know.
364
00:15:29,394 --> 00:15:31,071
CLEM: I do know.
365
00:15:31,115 --> 00:15:34,727
And I want you to tell me everything
that you want to do to me.
366
00:15:34,771 --> 00:15:37,208
But speak up and enunciate.
367
00:15:37,251 --> 00:15:39,036
Oh, yeah.
368
00:15:39,079 --> 00:15:42,648
I bet you'd like me to enunciate.
369
00:15:43,439 --> 00:15:45,303
You don't know what
that word means, do you?
370
00:15:45,346 --> 00:15:47,871
I do not.
371
00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:49,655
Can I get the steak?
372
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,745
No. You know the drill.
Chicken or cheaper.
373
00:15:54,317 --> 00:15:55,095
Freddy?
374
00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:57,707
Stacy. What are you doing here?
375
00:15:57,750 --> 00:16:00,535
You left me a voice mail
saying to meet you here.
376
00:16:00,579 --> 00:16:02,581
Well, yeah, but, uh,
you never called me back.
377
00:16:02,624 --> 00:16:03,974
Who is this?
378
00:16:04,017 --> 00:16:05,279
I'm his girlfriend. Who are you?
379
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:06,628
I'm his girlfriend.
380
00:16:06,672 --> 00:16:07,603
Excuse me, sir?
381
00:16:07,608 --> 00:16:10,894
I'm out of breadsticks. Do you have any?
382
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:12,896
- Hang on, Clem.
- Clem?
383
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,027
How many girls in here do you know?
384
00:16:14,071 --> 00:16:15,289
Are you cheating on me, Freddy?
385
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:17,074
If anything, he's cheating on me.
386
00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:18,423
Go to hell, Freddy.
387
00:16:18,466 --> 00:16:20,120
Yeah, Freddy, go to hell.
388
00:16:20,164 --> 00:16:21,948
Stacy, wait!
389
00:16:21,992 --> 00:16:24,777
Linda, also wait!
390
00:16:27,606 --> 00:16:29,216
Yo, want to bounce?
391
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:30,957
'Cause I got my mom's Kia
392
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:34,831
[singsongy]: if you want to get weird.
393
00:16:36,557 --> 00:16:38,922
Now you say that?
394
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,975
What is going on?
395
00:16:41,038 --> 00:16:44,144
I am not sleeping with
my sister's boyfriend.
396
00:16:44,188 --> 00:16:46,625
Well, I'm not her boyfriend anymore.
397
00:16:46,668 --> 00:16:47,974
Shannon broke up with me yesterday.
398
00:16:48,018 --> 00:16:49,671
She did?
399
00:16:49,715 --> 00:16:51,195
Why didn't she tell me that?
400
00:16:51,238 --> 00:16:55,852
I don't know,
but I do know my Kia has lay-flat seats.
401
00:16:55,895 --> 00:16:57,984
Well, my mom's Kia.
402
00:17:00,046 --> 00:17:00,987
Gross.
403
00:17:01,632 --> 00:17:02,946
I can't help it.
404
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,295
You're such a babe.
405
00:17:04,338 --> 00:17:06,123
Tell me about the '90s!
406
00:17:11,519 --> 00:17:13,478
[knocking on door]
407
00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:15,523
Come in.
408
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:16,522
Oh, Dean Kaiser.
409
00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:18,788
Please, no need to climb over to me.
410
00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:21,486
Uh, I just came
to give you some good news.
411
00:17:21,529 --> 00:17:23,053
You got the big office.
412
00:17:23,096 --> 00:17:23,967
I did? [laughs]
413
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,665
[groans]
414
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:28,536
That's great.
415
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,843
Congratulations, Nick. You deserve it.
416
00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:32,758
Oh. D-Dean Kaiser, wait.
417
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,021
Look, I know the only way
you could come to my wedding
418
00:17:35,065 --> 00:17:38,720
is if your whole family comes,
but we don't have enough room.
419
00:17:38,764 --> 00:17:40,200
- Oh.
- And I'm sorry.
420
00:17:40,244 --> 00:17:44,204
If it costs me the office,
I totally understand.
421
00:17:44,248 --> 00:17:46,163
Wait, did you just invite me
422
00:17:46,206 --> 00:17:47,829
to the wedding so you
can get the big office?
423
00:17:47,921 --> 00:17:50,080
Maybe, kinda, sorta. Yes.
424
00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:53,083
[laughing]
425
00:17:56,683 --> 00:17:58,566
Why are we laughing? I don't understand.
426
00:17:59,381 --> 00:18:00,786
I hate weddings.
427
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,529
And when I thought I told you
about my family being in town,
428
00:18:04,572 --> 00:18:06,531
I'd be off the hook,
but then you invited them all
429
00:18:06,574 --> 00:18:08,228
like a big old psycho.
430
00:18:08,272 --> 00:18:10,274
So you don't want to come?
431
00:18:10,317 --> 00:18:11,815
None of us want to come.
432
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,773
Oh, this...
433
00:18:13,817 --> 00:18:14,905
Thank you, Dean. Thank you.
434
00:18:14,948 --> 00:18:16,123
Thank you.
435
00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:18,822
Thank you. [grunts]
436
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,214
So, so do I still get the office?
437
00:18:20,258 --> 00:18:22,086
Do you promise to never
invite me to anything again?
438
00:18:22,129 --> 00:18:23,914
I will exclude you from
anything and everything
439
00:18:23,957 --> 00:18:25,524
until the day you die.
440
00:18:30,572 --> 00:18:32,966
Thank you, Dean. [whoops]
441
00:18:39,428 --> 00:18:40,638
Hey.
442
00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:42,031
Where have you been?
443
00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:44,511
JoJo had a rap battle
with DJ Sesame Bagel.
444
00:18:44,555 --> 00:18:46,557
Toasted him.
445
00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:48,864
I ran into him, Shannon.
446
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:50,953
I know that you broke up with him.
What happened?
447
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:52,955
It's none of your business.
448
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,565
What did he do?
449
00:18:54,608 --> 00:18:55,914
Did he hit on somebody?
450
00:18:55,958 --> 00:18:57,002
Maybe.
451
00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:58,003
Who?
452
00:18:58,047 --> 00:19:00,832
You. Okay? He hit on you.
453
00:19:00,876 --> 00:19:02,589
Wait, I thought you didn't believe me.
454
00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:06,316
Of course I believed you.
#BelieveAllWomen. Duh.
455
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,232
Everybody hits on you all the time,
456
00:19:09,275 --> 00:19:11,712
and it's super annoying.
457
00:19:11,756 --> 00:19:13,802
Wait, really?
458
00:19:13,845 --> 00:19:15,064
Even that UPS guy?
459
00:19:15,919 --> 00:19:17,486
Are you kidding me?
460
00:19:17,493 --> 00:19:20,156
Dude was all,
"Are you interested in my package?"
461
00:19:20,199 --> 00:19:22,288
It wasn't even a package,
it was an envelope.
462
00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:26,510
I'm just trying to
keep your ego in check.
463
00:19:26,553 --> 00:19:29,469
But then why did you pretend
not to believe me about JoJo?
464
00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:31,820
Because I hate it when you're right.
465
00:19:31,863 --> 00:19:35,258
And you're right a lot, and I hate it.
466
00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:39,088
Okay, look.
467
00:19:39,131 --> 00:19:42,569
Shannon, when I was your age,
I made a lot of mistakes.
468
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:45,181
I can't even tell you
how many JoJos I dated
469
00:19:45,224 --> 00:19:46,922
before I finally found Nick.
470
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:50,360
I don't want you to
have to go through that.
471
00:19:50,403 --> 00:19:53,102
That's really cool of you
to say, Clem. Thanks.
472
00:19:53,145 --> 00:19:55,104
Nothing would make me happier
473
00:19:55,147 --> 00:19:57,149
than if you learn from my mistakes.
474
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:00,936
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
475
00:20:03,105 --> 00:20:04,207
What?
476
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,029
Clem, if you didn't date
all those losers,
477
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,205
you'd never get how
great you have it now.
478
00:20:09,248 --> 00:20:12,077
[scoffs] Don't rob me of that.
479
00:20:12,988 --> 00:20:15,874
Yeah, that's not really the
point I was trying to make.
480
00:20:15,916 --> 00:20:19,302
But it's the point you made.
481
00:20:19,345 --> 00:20:22,871
And as we established,
you're always right.
482
00:20:26,483 --> 00:20:27,526
Hey, babe.
483
00:20:27,995 --> 00:20:30,287
Sorry I'm late.
I got lost trying to find my way
484
00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:32,402
out of my new giant office!
485
00:20:32,445 --> 00:20:34,447
[gasps] That's great.
486
00:20:34,491 --> 00:20:35,448
[laughs]
487
00:20:35,492 --> 00:20:37,723
[laughs] I've got good news, too.
488
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:41,498
- Yeah?
- Shannon kicked JoJo to the curb.
489
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,559
Also, more good news:
490
00:20:43,579 --> 00:20:45,719
Everyone is hitting on me.
491
00:21:12,008 --> 00:21:14,097
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
35263
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
