Original subtitles

CHILDREN LAUGH

CAMERA CLICKS

MOBILE PHONE BUZZES

Oh, hey.

Hey! 'Dad!' Hello, gorgeous.

'Dad, you look like a ninja.'

What's going on? 'Just rang to say I can't ring. I'm going surfing.

'The waves are really big.' What do you mean surfing? Who with? 'Marlee, time to go.' Who's that? 'Stuart.'

Who's Stuart? 'Marlee!' Marlee, it's dangerous. I don't want...

'Got to go, Dad. See you later. Bye!'

MOBILE PHONE BUZZES

Ah!

Oh. Mr Moore.

Yeah, I'm looking at her now,

but you've got to give me a couple of minutes.

Yes. Listen, Mr Moore, please let me do my job and I'll get back to you.

Fine.

CAMERA SNAPPING

A-ha.

WOMAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE

Ah, check the state of this!

Bastard.

Little bastard.

RECORDING: 'Quand j'ai fini ma glace, je vais aller me baigner.'

When I finish my ice cream, I will go for a swim.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Oh, sod off.

CAR ENGINE STARTS AND FAILS

SHEEP BLEAT

Come on, you bastard.

Come on!

'Pendant une telle journee, c'est bon d'etre vivant.'

On such a day, it is good to be alive.

Honestly, it's no bother. Really.

It's an old recipe, I've been doing it for ages.

Well, I used to go grape picking in France during the summer.

OK, fair enough.

Saves me having to fill my house with smelly French cheese.

The Italian place? That sounds great.

I'll see you there.

Ciao, bella yourself!

Cheerio.

Yep.

Does he have surgeon's hands, your doctor?

I don't know, Detective. He's never tried to operate on me.

You at least on the waiting list?

TELEPHONE RINGS

SHE SIGHS

Jackson Brodie! Thank God you called. Life can begin again!

Are you interfering with sheep?

Ever been to Paris? I have not, as a matter of fact. Will that be all?

I'm saving up.

A trip.

Maybe take a friend.

That's why I cancelled my AA subscription.

And you've broken down and you want me to send you a squad car?

Well, that would be generous. Really, I phoned to talk to you about Paris.

Goodbye, Jackson.

Oh, it was you! I thought it was you.

Hello, Miss MacDonald.

Yes, indeed, exactly. But it's not Saturday morning.

Is it?

Read around the subject.

Oh, set text!

I just want to pass my exams.

Reggie!

You ARE going to pass your exams.

You're going to pass them with flying colours.

You got your scholarship, didn't you?

Not many girls get that.

Certainly not...

FAINT RUMBLING

Certainly not gir...

LOUDER RUMBLING

Oh, the 4.10pm from Aberdeen.

It disturbs the putty with a particular rhythm all of its own.

I have to go to Musselburgh.

To get to my meeting.

Are you all right to drive, with your...?

With my delicate constitution? Of course.

They are going to pray for me tonight, Reggie.

And the dead and Christ shall rise first.

Then we shall gather together with them

in the clouds to meet with our Lord in the air.

Sounds pretty bracing, doesn't it? Mm-hm.

All that movement and fresh air. Huh!

Oh, stay if you like, take some books.

Give them some air. I can't reach them anymore.

Read around the subject, Reggie.

Read around.

SINGING TO HERSELF

Hello!

SCREECHING BRAKES

Oi!

CRASHES AND THUDDING

Hello!

Can you hear me? Can you move?

Ah!

Urgh!

Come on.

I've got you, here we go.

TRAIN HORN BLARING

Excellent.

Ah!

Urgh!

Come on.

Hnngh!

That's it.

TRAIN HORN BLARING

Oh, come on!

Goodbye, Jackson. Bye.

TRAIN BRAKES SCREECHING

That would be nice, but my son's at home, so I don't know. I'd love to meet him.

There'd be no ulterior motive other than coming home to meet your son.

Well, the thing is he's being a bit of a little shit at the moment.

I love him more than anything, but he is being a bit of a little shit.

I don't know how he'd be.

Never thought I'd go on a date again.

I was rusty enough at it at 15.

Aye, well, you're doing OK. You're keeping the conversation alive,

you're relatively charming

and you haven't tried to stick your hand up my jumper,

which is what all the boys did when I was 15. Clever boys. Mm.

Did you let them? Never.

Well, maybe next time, you can make me that souffle.

Tell me about France. What?

Grape picking. That's apparently what you did. Oh, aye. Well, I think France is overrated.

I've only ever been to Paris.

Paris is good.

PHONE RINGS

Oh! Sorry.

Hello? Aye.

PAGER BEEPS

Train crash. Yes.

Can we, um...?

AMBULANCE SIRENS

Can someone help? Can I ask you to keep a distance from the accident?

I've got you. The ambulance and police are on the way.

If you could move down the track.

BABY CRYING

Try and relax, try and relax.

AMBULANCE SIRENS

OK, everybody. Move down the track. Move down the track, everybody.

Niamh?

There you are.

I'm tired, Niamh.

I'm so tired.

Lay down, then.

I'll wake you when it's time.

You promise?

Promise.

Jackson?

Two. Three.

One. Two. Three.

One. Two. Three.

One. Two.

Three. Live, you bugger, live!

I love you, Jackson.

Niamh. Come on!

No!

DOCTORS CHATTER

We need to get his fluids up.

Clear this area, please.

DOCTORS CHATTER

Niamh.

Is it time?

Mr Jones? Jones?

Yeah, that's you.

Says so on your driving licence.

Brones...

Jones?

I think I'm a policeman.

I'll just go and get somebody for you now.

One. Two.

Three.

Come on.

Hey.

If I'd have known you were going to make such a song and dance about it,

I'd have come and picked you up myself.

Who are you?

Who are you?

And what were you doing in a train crash, Mr Jones?

Bloody hell, you're beautiful.

Right, well, you've had a wee bang on the head there.

I love you.

Look, I can understand that you would cover for him, but Michelle didn't come home last night!

Mr Moore, let me get you a tea.

It's hard. I know for Brodie it's a profession, but this is my life, my heart.

I've been calling ever since he left the hotel.

No, of course, I completely understand, but Jackson is a total professional.

If we can't reach him, it's probably because he's working on your case right now.

So, if you just sit down... I don't want to make a nuisance of myself.

If you sit down, I'll make you a cup of tea and give Jackson another try, OK?

OK.

This is Jackson Brodie. Please leave your message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Get your unreliable, unprofessional arse back into your office right now

or you won't have an office to come back to!

Or an assistant because I am not a bloody agony aunt!

Hello. Hi.

You all right?

You don't remember me, do you?

You're not my daughter.

I'm praying to God you're not my girlfriend. You're a policeman?

I'm a private detective.

I saved your life.

Cheers.

You cut your arm right down to the bone.

You had a blood transfusion.

HE GROANS

Sorry, I cracked your ribs.

Your heart stopped.

Dr Hunter taught me how to do CPR in case anything happened to their baby.

They think you might have brain damage.

Excellent.

Policeman, private detective, soldier...

You're a soldier, right? Your blood type's tattooed,

like my Da. Except it didn't do him any good.

Were you in the Gulf War?

He was in the second.

Friendly fire.

Never even met him, anyway.

I bought you some new clothes because your others were shredded

and they were covered in blood and guts and stuff so I threw them away.

Where's my stuff? My mobile?

No mobile, but your wallet.

It's not mine. Why did they give you my things?

I told them I was your daughter.

It's just simpler to tell people simple stories.

Did you ever seen Robin Hood, Prince Of Thieves?

With Kevin Costner? My mum's favourite film.

Do you remember the bit where Kevin Costner, Robin of Locksley, saved Morgan Freeman's life?

I haven't got a bloody clue what you're talking about.

Can I borrow your phone? Well, Morgan Freeman was bound to

Kevin Costner then, until the debt was repaid.

Same kind of situation now, isn't it?

I saved your life. You're bound to me.

You can only be released by reciprocation.

PHONE RINGS

'...message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

'Mail box full.'

How long have I been here?

Two days.

Going somewhere nice?

I've got to get back to work.

I'm feeling a lot better. Aww, what a tribute to my skills.

It's a miracle. Really?

Yeah, thanks. You missed the sarcastic inflection.

Listen again. "Really?"

The old woman in the car,

what happened to her? She was dead.

Like you will be if I let you go.

Do you even know who you are yet?

Unfortunately, I do.

My name's Jackson Brodie.

PAGER BEEPS

Get back into bed.

Oh, my God, Jackson! You should've seen the train.

What? You weren't... That crash?

You weren't on the train?

Bloody good view, though. Mr Brodie.

Mr Moore.

Err, I've been in an accident.

Look, Michelle didn't come back from that work do.

Right. I called her.

We had a row. Do you know where she is?

Would you just give us a minute?

Just one minute.

I had to let him wait in there, he wouldn't stop.

Anything urgent?

Yeah, Marlee phoned. Shit.

Wants to know what you want for Christmas.

What time is it in New Zealand now?

About 1953.

Please.

OK, coming.

I'm sorry,

I think you were right, your wife's having an affair.

Is it just a case of, "you think"?

You could be wrong.

I saw them kissing.

Kissing doesn't...

There's plenty of people give each other a friendly kiss at Christmas.

It wasn't that type of kiss.

Was it a long kiss?

A short one? A peck on the cheek?

He had his hand on her breasts.

If she didn't come home last night, if you had a row,

she's probably with him.

I want you to find out where she is.

I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Is this your daughter? Yes.

Marlee?

That's right.

I don't believe Michelle's doing this.

Not because... Well, I don't mind what she does to me, but to do this to the kids at Christmas.

Could you get hold of her and just ask her to speak to the kids?

Just to think about the kids?

Hello?

Mr Hunter?

I've been trying to call you.

She's not... Is your mobile off?

I've been in hospital, visiting.

Oh, dear, is it anyone...? No.

Where is she?

She said for me to come in today. No. No, she's gone away for a wee bit.

She didn't call. She always calls.

Well, your mobile's been off.

She didn't leave a message. Where's she gone?

She going to be away for Christmas?

Well, maybe. We don't...

You know she's got an aunt in the family who's ill?

She lives on her own in South Queensferry.

An aunt? Aye, she drove down there last night.

So, we're not going to need you for...

Well, I suppose we won't be needing you until after Christmas, OK?

Yeah.

'This is Dr Joanna Hunter. Please leave a message after the beep.'

Jackson?

Grapes. Why do people always bring grapes?

You can go a year without eating grapes. Bananas are better for you.

Hello. Hey. Sorry, there was a guy here in this...

Yes, he checked himself out.

Right. I told him not to.

He'd no idea he was expecting such an attractive visitor.

He's just a colleague from the police.

That's where you work? Aye, indeed.

Good.

TYPING

Oh.

Ah.

The fragrant Mrs Moore.

Now, where's the chap that was grabbing you?

Hm.

Hello, old boy.

Dougal.

Oh!

HE YAWNS

Ah!

DOORBELL RINGING

Morgan Freeman. No, you're Morgan Freeman. I'm Kevin Costner.

How did you get my address, Mr Costner?

I found this postcard in your old clothes

when I was throwing them away. What's Marlee doing in New Zealand?

She on holiday? Mind you own bloody business.

You didn't happen to see my wallet when you went through my pockets?

I told you in hospital, I'm not a thief. I'm a nanny.

Well, I was at school.

I'm still studying. I want to go to university.

I'm a nanny now, though, as a sort of temporary narrow definition.

Dr Hunter doesn't like the word. Don't feel responsible for me.

I don't. You're responsible for me. I'm Kevin Costner.

Is that the only film you've seen? I'm more of a reader. I read widely.

You're a private detective, right?

You find people? Some I find, some I lose.

I'm worried about Dr Hunter and her baby, Gabriel.

Mr Hunter says she's at a sick aunt's, but that's crap

because Dr Hunter told me loads of times she doesn't have any family.

I don't know where she's gone. What's your name?

Reggie.

Well, Regina. But if you say to someone your name's Regina,

they tend to say, "Wow, that rhymes with vagina!" Which it does, but...

We should start with the aunt, in South Queensferry.

Who is Dr Hunter?

Joanna Hunter.

My friend. My boss.

Gabriel's mother. Mr Hunter's wife.

When did you last see her?

Gabriel's first birthday.

And how was she then?

A little bit sad.

Pensive.

Wistful.

BABY LAUGHING

Imagine eating ice-cream for the first time, Reggie.

All right, mister. what have we got for you?

One.

That's it. Gabriel will never be a baby again.

Where's his da?

Oh, I don't know. Performing some service to the leisure industry.

But it's Gabriel's first birthday.

Are you not furious? Are you not incandescent?

Why should I be? It's better that he's not here.

Oh, it's not too cold, is it?

Are they not close, her and her husband? Indifferent, I would say.

And do they fight?

No, she basically ignores him. Lets him do his stuff.

She once told me she was happiest when Gabriel was inside her belly.

She didn't even tell him if Gabriel was a boy or girl.

Does he mind? No.

He's always busy.

He's something to do with amusements or hotels.

I can't tell you categorically.

He's nearly always on the phone. Running propositions by people.

Facilitating idea showers.

It's not up to me to take the piss out of someone's idiom, is it? Reggie...

What are you telling me?

Their marriage isn't great, but that happens. Yeah, but there's more.

You didn't see her when she was on her way to work.

Reggie, do you think you can make people do things

that they don't want to do? Yeah, course you can.

But if somebody asked you to harm yourself, would you do it?

No. Why would anybody do that?

Ah, well, life can be very complicated, Reggie.

There's no template, no pattern that we're supposed to follow.

We just...

make it up as we go along.

Oh.

He loves that, doesn't he, eh? The wee dog.

"Knowing that when light is gone, love remains for shining."

Isn't that lovely? Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote that for her dog.

Oh.

CROW CALLING

WINGS FLUTTERING

Come on, shall we?

Come on, wee man.

You think somebody's trying to hurt her?

Or make her hurt herself, maybe.

She was scared, I think. Was she often scared?

No and she'd never go away.

Not without saying. Not to me. Well, she's just your boss.

She's my friend.

She's gone, doesn't answer her mobile, left the baby's comforter.

She'd never leave that. He'd scream and scream.

You have to help me.

Fine,

I'll see what I can do.

Tomorrow.

ELECTRONIC BEEP

Go on!

Hello, Michelle. My name's Jackson Brodie. Yeah?

I'm a private investigator.

Arrgh! Ah!

He called me last night. Told me he knew exactly what I was up to.

Told me he'd sent someone to watch me. That'll be me.

I suppose you were just skulking in the bushes, taking photos?

Pretty much. Not a very nice way to make a living, is it?

There are worse ways and there are better.

Well, that was the last straw.

I'm not staying with a man that sends a private detective after me.

The basis of a marriage is trust. You are having an affair, aren't you?

Gary doesn't give me space. I need space.

He gets that Presbyterian look in his eye, and it's like...

He wouldn't even let me phone my friends after we got married.

If I want to go out, even just pilates or something

like that, it becomes... Look, all I want

is a wee bit of fresh air.

Just someone to make me feel good. Someone that's not...

Whatever. Why don't you just tell him you're safe?

Because he won't take it. He'll come after me.

I can't face it. Look, all I want is a few days peace.

Just a bollocks-free Christmas for a change. What about the kids?

What kids?

I think the kids deserve to know you're all right.

We haven't got kids.

Did he tell you that we've got kids?

Right. I'll tell him you're safe.

No, don't tell him anything. I won't tell him anything, I'm done.

You enjoy your Christmas.

You won't see me again.

ANSWERPHONE: Hi, this is Reggie.

Bitch!

BURGLAR ALARM BEEPING

They're not rich.

Dr H got an inheritance and used it all

to buy this heinously expensive place.

Her words. She uses a lot of good words. Like atavistic. Reggie.

What? Could you just talk less, please?

I've got a head injury.

Kitchen.

Told you. The wee doggy. They'd never leave without it.

Right. You go upstairs and see if she's packed any clothes,

contact lenses or anything. What are you going to do?

Never mind about me.

OK.

Jackson? Jackson!

She's still wearing her suit.

She has three identical suits for work. There's only two.

As soon as she gets home, she's out of the suit.

Means she's still wearing it, hasn't been home.

Means she hasn't been home since!

Do you know her maiden name? No. Why? We could look up her aunt.

There isn't an aunt. There is no family.

Garage?

It's hers.

Well, maybe she didn't drive.

Neil said she did.

She could have rented a car. The battery might be flat.

Try it, then.

ENGINE STARTS

All right, let's have a quick peak.

God, no.

No, nothing.

CAR APPROACHING

MOBILE PHONE RINGING

It's Neil. Hello?

He'll go mad! What do we do? Tell him you're worried sick.

You've been up all night.

Get a name for this aunt. A number, if you can.

I'll be outside, don't worry. OK.

Urrgh.

Guh!

HE VOMITS

Hi Deborah, it's Louise. There's no one in your office.

No. I'm doing Christmas shopping and Jackson's on a job.

But he's OK though, is he?

Spiritually or bodily? Bodily.

Cuts and bruises. He's fine.

Bodily, more than OK, if you like that sort of thing.

Yeah, well he's not at home and he's not answering his phone.

He lost it in the accident.

Well, could you get him to give me a ring when he gets in please?

OK.

Bloody idiot.

You said it. Cheers.

Christ, I'm bleeding to death here.

Have you any idea how hard I've worked?

Look, Mark, I'm begging you.

What the hell are you doing here?

Mark?

Mark?

Fuck!

Look, I've told you they're not here! You're not needed.

What are you doing? I've a good mind to take that key away.

Reggie, I'm sorry.

Bad day at black rock, you know?

Don't tell Jo you saw me smoking, I'll not hear the end of it.

I was just wondering if they were back yet?

Like I said, I'll let you know.

Yeah.

But, the thing is, it's the third week of the month and she hasn't paid me yet.

Oh right. Sorry, Reggie, I didn't know.

I don't know what Jo gives you.

Yeah, this... This aunt.

Maternal or paternal? Is she on her mum's side or her dad's?

It's Agnes Barker in South Queensferry, Your Honour.

Have you got a number?

OK? Yeah.

I'll see you when she gets back.

What are you doing?

Are you OK? I'm fine.

We need to borrow a car. Shall we hire one? He just gave me some cash.

Did you not get a number?

No. Agnes Barker, that's the name of the aunt.

There can't be many Agnes Barkers in South Queensferry.

Maybe he was telling the truth, but...

Well, she did always tell me that she didn't have any family.

And suppose it's just an aunt, maybe she's not genetically related.

Maybe she's just married to an uncle or...

Listen, we can't rent a car.

My licence was in my wallet.

We got Andrew Jones'.

Great.

You're joking!

What do you think this is, Antiques Roadshow? You could be anyone.

I'm not though. I'm Andrew Jones.

You look like you're on the run, pal.

Photo ID and credit card.

I've lost my wallet.

I was in an accident.

What, a car accident?

There was a Nissan Micra involved, yeah.

And a train,

you might have seen it on the news.

My gran's dying. His mum.

We want to see her before she passes over.

You know, if you're telling lies,

you should really only tell one at a time.

It's Christmas, Joy.

Uh, what do I care?

They handed me my notice yesterday.

It was a Nissan Micra?

Yeah.

I want to make a detour.

Where are we going? Right, right.

I mean left, left!

Second, second!

Hello, Marcus. What are you doing here?

I'm with her. Well, what's she doing here?

Was it her, in the car?

You know Mrs MacDonald?

Ms.

I'm very sorry.

Are you family?

I'm a pupil. She was my teacher.

And you are...?

Reggie Teague.

You don't know if she's been depressed lately, do you, Reggie?

She had a brain tumour the size of a mushroom, you idiot.

She shouldn't have been driving.

Because of the tumour?

No, because she was a bloody awful driver.

What are you doing? Leave her stuff alone, stop going through that.

We just need to...

You don't know if she had any kids, do you, Reggie? No.

She was a spinster and she was an only child.

We need someone to identify the body.

Not now, Marcus, use a bit of tact.

I'll call you later.

OK.

OK, Mike, that's us done here.

You just keep turning up, don't you, Jackson?

I'm beginning to think you're my nemesis.

She used to teach me at the posh school.

She was helping me through my A levels.

I have to do them in my spare time. Why did you leave?

What?

School. Why didn't you stay on?

Too expensive. No chance of a scholarship or anything?

I had a scholarship, but...

..I had to work.

Hey...you all right?

Everyone's dead.

No they're not. You're not, are you?

I'm not, thanks to you.

Come on.

Dr Hunter better bloody well not be, either.

It's not exactly a hotbed of crime, is it?

This is it.

Here goes.

Yes? Sorry to bother you. Could we have a quick word with Agnes Barker?

Have you got a Ouija board handy?

She's dead?

And who would you be? I'm the woman who bought her house.

What's it to you?

We're friends of her niece, Joanna Hunter.

Mrs Barker's been dead for eight months.

I don't know anything about any niece.

I told you.

OK. So either she lied to her husband or her husband lied to you.

Well, where is she, then?

Where is she? It's all right. It's going to be all right.

No, it's not going to be all right, I don't know where she is. I will find her.

I promise. It's what I do.

Come on.

Oh, bollocks!

Come on, you perfect, smug faced bitch!

Shouldn't be long. Yes, please.

You ever killed anyone on the operating table? Archie!

Well, I like to keep it down to one or two a week.

It depends how pissed I've been the night before.

So, are you a football or a rugby man, Archie?

I hate sport. Archie's an emo.

No, I'm not.

So, what passes for emo nowadays?

Jawbreaker? Sunny Day Real Estate?

I saw Sunny Day Real Estate live in San Francisco.

Were they good? Good? They were great.

How long ago?

It was about a year ago.

I was out there working, somebody invited me along.

I'd never heard of them before, but it was good.

SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

This music's depressing.

That's what my daughter says.

Why's she in New Zealand?

Why's she not with you? Is she filming The Hobbit?

No, she's not filming The Hobbit.

It's a long and painful story.

We've got a long and painful drive.

SIREN WAILS

Oh, God!

Trouble likes you, doesn't it?

We have been acquainted.

Second gear.

This is Jackson Brodie.

Please leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Where are you, Jackson?

Last seen in the company of a teenage girl.

Do you know, I bloody despair of you, man, I do.

Jackson...

How dare you not answer your phone to me?

And how dare you walk out of the hospital in your state?

And how dare you speak to me like that in there?

Leave him alone. He's a Gulf War hero. It's all right, Reggie.

Well, he was driving as if he was pished.

Cause he's only got one arm! Reggie!

Please, give us a break. I'm ex job.

Oh, aye? What force?

Your know what? Lothian and Borders.

Jackson, what's going on?

It's all right.

What's the problem?

Argh! Take it easy! Ex job, my arse!

You are lucky to be alive, sweetheart. What's going on?

Andrew Jones, I'm arresting you for failure to comply with the terms of your parole.

Listen, I'm not Andrew Jones.

30 years not enough for you, you murdering piece of shit. Get off me!

Argh! Listen to me! Jackson!

Jackson! Get off me! Let me go!

That's police brutality. Get off him!

Leave him alone!

He's got a bad arm. Leave me alone.

Get off him! Let me go!

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