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1
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:05,836
Hi,
this is Elizabeth Montgomery,
2
00:00:05,837 --> 00:00:08,506
inviting you
to stay tuned for Bewitched.
3
00:00:08,507 --> 00:00:09,507
[SNAPS FINGERS]
4
00:00:12,144 --> 00:00:14,378
I think I'm going to have
the beef soo chow.
5
00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:17,148
Mm, I hear that's marvelous.
Oh, Mr. Fong.
6
00:00:17,149 --> 00:00:19,551
I am honored to have you in my
humble place, Mr. Stephens.
7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,218
And, uh...?
My wife, Samantha.
8
00:00:21,219 --> 00:00:24,589
How do you do?
FONG: How do you do?
9
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,191
Please sit down.
Thank you.
10
00:00:27,292 --> 00:00:29,293
I'm certainly looking forward
to the prospect
11
00:00:29,294 --> 00:00:30,595
of handling your advertising.
12
00:00:30,596 --> 00:00:32,597
Yes, let's hope
we can bring that about.
13
00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:34,566
Mr. and Mrs. Tate
should be here any minute.
14
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:37,435
Good. In the meantime,
I have a surprise.
15
00:00:40,873 --> 00:00:42,640
This is my masterpiece,
16
00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:45,443
and I would like you both
to try it, with my compliment.
17
00:00:45,444 --> 00:00:47,979
Well, now we're honored.
18
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:49,114
Please.
19
00:00:50,249 --> 00:00:51,683
Thank you.
20
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,185
Mm.
21
00:00:55,988 --> 00:00:57,022
That's marvelous.
22
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,825
What in the world is in it?
23
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,560
Sorry,
the ingredients are secret.
24
00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:04,562
All but one.
25
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:07,565
The Himalayan cinnamon stick
is very rare.
26
00:01:07,566 --> 00:01:10,301
From a remote area
high in the mountains.
27
00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:13,138
I have named my drink
after the stick.
28
00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:15,707
The Heavenly Himalayan.
29
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,743
Night after night,
I stayed here after closing,
30
00:01:18,744 --> 00:01:20,879
trying this formula and that,
31
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,048
like a witch over her caldron.
32
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:24,849
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
33
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:27,919
Well, you certainly
came up with a bewitching drink.
34
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:29,220
Thank you. Thank you.
35
00:01:29,221 --> 00:01:31,690
It's, uh, heavenly, all right.
36
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:35,293
And heady too, you might say.
37
00:01:35,294 --> 00:01:36,961
Ooh.
38
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,998
Sam, are you all right?
39
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:44,335
I, uh... I...
I feel a little strange.
40
00:01:44,336 --> 00:01:45,403
[GIGGLING]
41
00:01:45,404 --> 00:01:47,305
The truth is,
I feel a lot strange.
42
00:01:47,306 --> 00:01:48,673
Strange?
43
00:01:48,674 --> 00:01:50,475
Dizzy.
44
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:52,637
Perhaps madam would like
to lie down in the office?
45
00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:56,681
Uh, no. No, I think
we'd better leave.
46
00:01:56,682 --> 00:01:58,049
Oh...
47
00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:01,152
Uh, I am definitely not well.
48
00:02:01,153 --> 00:02:04,455
The Himalayan cocktail
is really very mild.
49
00:02:04,456 --> 00:02:07,992
It's never affected any
of my customer like that before.
50
00:02:07,993 --> 00:02:09,027
Well, Sam's not like
51
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,096
any of your other customers,
Mr. Fong.
52
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,431
Caldron, caldron, tell me true.
53
00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:15,600
How you stirred upSuch a witches' brew.
54
00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:17,468
We do have to go home.
55
00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,871
Yes. Yes, and the better
the sooner.
56
00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:21,873
Would you make our excuses
to Mr. and Mrs. Tate?
57
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:22,874
Yes.
58
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:24,308
[
]
59
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:28,813
Oh, Mr. Stephens,
what's wrong?
60
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:30,648
Oh, I...
I wish I knew.
61
00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:31,816
Where am I?
62
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:33,084
You're home.
63
00:02:33,085 --> 00:02:34,986
Samantha, what's wrong?
64
00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:36,487
[GIGGLES]
65
00:02:36,488 --> 00:02:38,356
Who's she?
66
00:02:38,357 --> 00:02:40,625
It's your Aunt Hagatha.
67
00:02:42,194 --> 00:02:44,362
Oh, so it is.
68
00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,364
What's she doing here?
69
00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:48,032
She's sitting for us.
70
00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,234
[LAUGHS]
71
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:52,436
No, she's not.
She's standing for us.
72
00:02:52,437 --> 00:02:53,437
[LAUGHING]
73
00:02:53,438 --> 00:02:54,438
Toot-toot.
74
00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:57,242
Oh, Mr. Stephens, she's sick.
75
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,343
Oh, I don't understand it.
[LAUGHING]
76
00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:02,981
She just had a couple of
sips of a drink and got looped.
77
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:04,415
That's impossible.
78
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:07,552
Witches aren't subject
to such mortal frailties.
79
00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:09,888
Something is radically wrong.
80
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:13,024
Samantha, should I get
in touch with Dr. Bombay?
81
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:15,326
That quack? Absolutely not.
82
00:03:15,327 --> 00:03:17,561
Samantha,
is he always this difficult?
83
00:03:17,562 --> 00:03:18,729
Relax, sweetheart.
84
00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:21,299
We may not need Dr. Bombay
after all.
85
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,501
I'm beginning to feel better.
86
00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:26,370
At least I'm not dizzy anymore.
87
00:03:28,573 --> 00:03:30,675
Do you mind
if I try out my witchcraft?
88
00:03:30,676 --> 00:03:33,077
Whether he minds or not
doesn't matter.
89
00:03:33,078 --> 00:03:35,613
The only thing I mind is her.
90
00:03:36,715 --> 00:03:38,749
Well, let's see.
91
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:42,653
Lamp, lamp on yonder tableFly to me if you are able.
92
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:52,030
Well, now shall
I call Dr. Bombay,
93
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:54,511
or are you still
in your mortal snit?
94
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,835
[MAGICAL CHIME]
95
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:57,969
Sam!
96
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:00,071
HAGATHA:
Great Hector's ghost!
97
00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,505
Now what?
98
00:04:01,506 --> 00:04:02,974
Look.
99
00:04:02,975 --> 00:04:06,211
Don't just stand there,
get Dr. Bombay.
100
00:04:07,779 --> 00:04:09,413
[GASPS]
101
00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:10,414
Oh...
102
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:15,619
And I bet you thought you'd
grown accustomed to my face.
103
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:25,330
NARRATOR:
104
00:04:30,802 --> 00:04:32,570
[
]
105
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,402
[
]
106
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:11,942
[
]
107
00:05:11,943 --> 00:05:16,347
Darrin, before Aunt Hagatha
puts in a call to Dr. Bombay,
108
00:05:16,348 --> 00:05:18,883
wouldn't you like to
go into the den and work?
109
00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:22,086
Or take a nap?
Or something?
110
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:23,721
No, thanks.
111
00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:26,757
Well, I know Dr. Bombay
isn't one of your favorites.
112
00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:29,527
Among your friends and
relatives, I have no favorites.
113
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:33,064
I guess everything your mother
says about him is true.
114
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,134
Shh.
115
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:39,204
Aunt Hagatha, please.
The spell?
116
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,573
Oh, yes, dear.
Yes, yes.
117
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:42,673
[CLEARS THROAT]
118
00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:45,376
From Tripoli to Timbuktu.
119
00:05:45,377 --> 00:05:48,480
I beg, I plead I beseech of you.
120
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:51,048
A moment longer, don't delay.
121
00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:55,486
Dr. Bombay, streak this way.
122
00:05:55,487 --> 00:05:57,321
Hi, there, you called?
123
00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:01,692
Uh, we called,
we didn't whistle.
124
00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:05,062
Where's Dr. Bombay?
125
00:06:05,063 --> 00:06:07,732
Bomb's away.
126
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:09,234
"Bomb's away"?
127
00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:13,471
That's what I call him.
"Bomb" for short.
128
00:06:13,472 --> 00:06:17,574
What, and I'll be sorry I asked,
does he call you?
129
00:06:17,575 --> 00:06:21,745
Often. He calls me Often.
130
00:06:21,746 --> 00:06:23,080
Figures.
131
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:25,583
Now, look, Miss Often,
132
00:06:25,584 --> 00:06:27,718
when will the doctor be back?
133
00:06:27,719 --> 00:06:30,387
Any minute now.
I left him a message.
134
00:06:30,388 --> 00:06:34,091
Now I have to get back.
I'm his receptionist.
135
00:06:34,092 --> 00:06:36,761
I'm very receptive.
136
00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:38,096
Bye, now.
137
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,365
Where is the doctor, I wonder?
138
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:44,668
Probably out in the cosmos
chasing ambulances.
139
00:06:44,669 --> 00:06:47,906
He may be chasing,
but not ambulances.
140
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,474
Sorry I was detained,
141
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,642
I've been over at the gym
wrestling with a problem.
142
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:54,545
How to come to grips
with my new nurse.
143
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,347
That's a problem?
144
00:06:56,348 --> 00:06:59,083
Not really.
I'll pin her down yet.
145
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:02,519
Dr. Bombay, we do not find
your personal peccadilloes
146
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,688
the least bit amusing.
147
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,456
[GASPS] You peeked.
148
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:07,992
Oh, for Pete's sake,
149
00:07:07,993 --> 00:07:11,095
will somebody talk some sense
into this clown?
150
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:12,096
I will.
151
00:07:12,097 --> 00:07:14,598
My witchcraft has gone to pot
152
00:07:14,599 --> 00:07:16,201
and in case you haven't noticed,
153
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,170
my face is covered
with red stripes.
154
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:21,839
Hm. Interesting.
Very interesting.
155
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,108
Well, doctor,
what do you think the matter is?
156
00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:26,077
Obviously, her witchcraft
has gone to pot
157
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,079
and she's developed red stripes.
158
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,881
I'd hoped you could tell me
what disease I have.
159
00:07:30,882 --> 00:07:32,650
Judging by the symptoms,
160
00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:35,853
I'd say you had
Bright Red Stripes disease.
161
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,155
Is that serious?
162
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:40,624
Not at all. Just inconvenient.
It lasts one full year.
163
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:42,727
Dr. Bombay,
you have to do something.
164
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:45,529
I can't walk around
with these stripes for a year.
165
00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:47,732
The disease lasts one full year,
166
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,467
unless it's cured
within eight hours.
167
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,070
Perhaps I could find an antidote
if I knew how you got it.
168
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,538
You haven't been mixing eye
of newt with oysters, have you?
169
00:07:54,539 --> 00:07:55,773
No.
170
00:07:55,774 --> 00:07:57,241
Ah, then there's only
one other way
171
00:07:57,242 --> 00:07:58,343
you could have got it.
172
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,410
Have you been recently
173
00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:01,145
on the western slopes
of the Himalayas?
174
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:05,183
Lately, I haven't been any
further than a PTA meeting.
175
00:08:06,952 --> 00:08:10,788
The drink. She had a drink
with a Himalayan cinnamon stick.
176
00:08:10,789 --> 00:08:12,790
Ah-ha. Then that's it.
177
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:15,058
Eons ago, the Tibetan monks
cross-pollinated
178
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:17,128
a rare herb
with Himalayan cinnamon
179
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,397
and used it to drive the witches
out of the Himalayas.
180
00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:22,133
I didn't know there were
any witches in the Himalayas.
181
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,401
There aren't. It worked.
182
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:24,568
[CHUCKLES]
183
00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:27,372
Now, doctor,
about the eight-hour deadline?
184
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,741
Never fear, Bombay is here.
185
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:33,011
I shall feed this information
into my ultra-vascular
186
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,446
self-denominating
powered trichroscope,
187
00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:38,950
with, of course, the super-duper
diagnostic predictor attachment.
188
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,352
[WARBLED NOTES BEING PLAYED]
189
00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:45,590
Ah-ha!
190
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,358
BOMBAY:
There is an antidote.
191
00:08:47,359 --> 00:08:48,325
A simple potion.
192
00:08:48,326 --> 00:08:51,228
You can pick it up
from your apothecary.
193
00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:54,899
We start with, uh,
eye of condor,
194
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:59,237
powdered snakeskin,
195
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:00,772
fig newts.
196
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,574
Fig newts?
197
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,209
That's the way
the cookie crumbles.
198
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:08,779
One pint of unicorn milk,
non-fat.
199
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:12,450
And a toasted
cheese sandwich on rye.
200
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,452
Toasted cheese?
201
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:16,620
That's for me. I'm starved.
202
00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:19,724
Hagatha, have the apothecary
fill out this prescription,
203
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,493
give it to Samantha,
and she'll be as right as rain.
204
00:09:22,494 --> 00:09:24,595
And now, if you'll excuse me,
205
00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:27,832
I want to try out my new
wrestling mat on my nurse.
206
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:30,834
It's the only one in the
universe with "Welcome" on it.
207
00:09:30,835 --> 00:09:32,337
[LAUGHS]
208
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,641
[SIGHS]
209
00:09:39,577 --> 00:09:41,678
Well, what are you waiting for?
210
00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,916
Oh, I refuse to go near
that dirty old druggist.
211
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,786
But Samantha,
I'd be glad to zap you there.
212
00:09:50,021 --> 00:09:52,223
Thanks a bunch.
213
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:55,159
Well, maybe my red stripes
will turn him off.
214
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,594
Zap away.
215
00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:01,666
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
216
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,534
[CLEARS THROAT]
217
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:06,137
Oh, hi, cutie.
218
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,706
Say, them stripes,
219
00:10:08,707 --> 00:10:11,709
mm, they really turn me on.
220
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:14,412
Well, I certainly
called that one.
221
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,113
Uh, look, Mr. Druggist,
I have a pres...
222
00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:18,682
Please, don't call me that.
223
00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:23,120
I'm apothecary
to the entire cosmos.
224
00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:24,621
Excuse me.
225
00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:26,757
Look, Mr. Apothecary,
I have a prescription...
226
00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:31,728
Yeah, I started out to be a
friendly neighborhood druggist,
227
00:10:31,729 --> 00:10:34,965
but I couldn't find
a friendly neighborhood.
228
00:10:34,966 --> 00:10:38,436
I couldn't find a friendly
neighborhood, you get it?
229
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:41,004
Oh, yes, I get it.
And it's a howler.
230
00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:44,041
But what I really came to get
was this prescription filled.
231
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:46,910
Well, I got this one here
ahead of you.
232
00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:48,812
But this is an emergency.
233
00:10:48,813 --> 00:10:52,349
Oh, well,
maybe I can hurry things up,
234
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:56,620
if you're willing to consider
this a friendly neighborhood.
235
00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:59,357
Uh, not that friendly.
236
00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:01,359
What are you brewing?
237
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,261
It's a love potion, cutie.
238
00:11:04,262 --> 00:11:07,365
Care to share
a jigger or two with me?
239
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,233
Oh, uh, no, thanks.
240
00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:13,904
Now, you can have it straight
or with a chaser.
241
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,440
What's the chaser?
242
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:18,709
You're looking at him, cutie.
243
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,043
[
]
244
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,357
I need a little potion
of my own,
245
00:11:33,358 --> 00:11:35,726
on the rocks.
246
00:11:35,727 --> 00:11:37,027
[GRUNTS]
247
00:11:37,028 --> 00:11:39,196
I wish you'd watch
where you're going.
248
00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:41,265
I wish you'd watch
where you're popping.
249
00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:42,700
No need to get huffy.
250
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:45,269
I came back
because my trusty computer
251
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,904
overlooked one ingredient.
252
00:11:46,905 --> 00:11:48,773
But Sam's already gone
to the apothecary.
253
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,040
No matter.
254
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,510
The apothecary does not
carry the necessary ingredient.
255
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:53,544
Why? What is it?
256
00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:56,046
The tail feather of a dodo bird.
257
00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:58,749
A dodo bird?
Why, they're extinct.
258
00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:00,651
Not only that,
there haven't been any around
259
00:12:00,652 --> 00:12:01,786
for millions of years.
260
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,887
Well, then, how do you expect us
261
00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:06,056
to get a dodo bird's
tail feather?
262
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:08,826
How should I know?
I'm a doctor, not a birdwatcher.
263
00:12:08,827 --> 00:12:10,528
Though I will say,
a bird in the hand
264
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,596
is worth two
in the Australian bush.
265
00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:14,432
[LAUGHS]
266
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,606
Take five.
267
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,141
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
268
00:12:24,142 --> 00:12:26,711
You're too old
for all this exercise.
269
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:29,947
I know, but even at my age...
270
00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:31,248
I got you!
Ah!
271
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,950
Even at my age,
272
00:12:32,951 --> 00:12:37,287
you... You fill my veins
with the hot blood of youth.
273
00:12:37,288 --> 00:12:39,957
You fill my heart with desire,
274
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:42,527
you fill my brain with passion.
275
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:43,594
While you're filling up,
276
00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:45,363
how about filling this
prescription?
277
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,930
Oh, all right.
278
00:12:46,931 --> 00:12:50,668
But first,
how's about a little kiss?
279
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,903
How about a nice,
friendly handshake?
280
00:12:52,904 --> 00:12:56,440
What's come over
this younger generation?
281
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,976
When I was a boy sorcerer,
282
00:12:58,977 --> 00:13:03,614
all the witch chicks
flocked around me.
283
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:08,151
Yeah, that was a long time ago.
284
00:13:08,152 --> 00:13:11,188
I'll fill your prescription.
285
00:13:11,189 --> 00:13:13,858
Yeah, when I was a kid...
286
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:18,028
"Toasted cheese on rye"?
287
00:13:18,029 --> 00:13:20,765
Now, what's that
supposed to cure?
288
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:22,767
Dr. Bombay. He's hungry.
289
00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:26,604
Oh, I'm hungry too,
but not for any toasted cheese.
290
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,171
You know what I mean?
291
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,107
Yes, I...
I get your message,
292
00:13:30,108 --> 00:13:33,677
but what I would really like
is that prescription.
293
00:13:33,678 --> 00:13:35,178
All right.
294
00:13:35,179 --> 00:13:39,283
I got a special
on the giant economy size
295
00:13:39,284 --> 00:13:42,420
in case you ever get
the same disease.
296
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,322
Bite your tongue.
297
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:50,561
Hm. Ugh.
298
00:13:50,562 --> 00:13:51,762
How do I look?
299
00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:54,432
Like a dream walking.
300
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:56,032
Are my stripes gone?
301
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,000
No.
302
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:58,469
Maybe you'd better pop me home.
303
00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,705
I have a pooped popper.
304
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:04,208
One kiss, honeybun,
and then I will.
305
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,978
Well, if that's the going price.
306
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:10,280
One smackeroo,
that's the going price.
307
00:14:10,281 --> 00:14:11,682
Okay.
308
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,784
Going, going...
309
00:14:13,785 --> 00:14:15,119
Mwah.
310
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,253
Gone.
311
00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:17,254
[SNAPS FINGERS]
312
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:22,760
They just can't
keep their lips off of me.
313
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,829
[GIGGLES]
314
00:14:26,564 --> 00:14:27,765
[GRUNTS]
315
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:29,834
Did you get the potion?
316
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:31,468
Yes, and it didn't work.
317
00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:34,138
That's because Bombay
left out one ingredient.
318
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:36,807
Oh, terrific.
319
00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:40,778
I know I'll be sorry I asked,
but which one?
320
00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,547
The tail feather of a dodo bird.
321
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,817
I'm sorry I asked.
322
00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:49,753
[MAGICAL CHIMES]
323
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:51,656
Sam!
324
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,357
Now what?
325
00:14:55,326 --> 00:14:56,861
[GASPS]
326
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:59,897
Oh, my stars.
327
00:14:59,898 --> 00:15:01,632
Where's Aunt Hagatha?
328
00:15:01,633 --> 00:15:03,968
Upstairs, checking on Adam.
329
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:08,405
Sam, where are we gonna find
the tail feather of a dodo bird?
330
00:15:08,406 --> 00:15:10,908
Well, I don't know.
331
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,442
But I'll think of something.
332
00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:17,014
[
]
333
00:15:17,015 --> 00:15:18,248
Aunt Hagatha,
334
00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:20,617
I wish you'd talk
to the Witches' Council
335
00:15:20,618 --> 00:15:22,752
about replacing that quack.
336
00:15:22,753 --> 00:15:24,188
I'll make a note.
337
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:28,258
Tail feather of a dodo bird.
This is ridiculous.
338
00:15:28,259 --> 00:15:31,195
Wait a minute.
Maybe not.
339
00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:34,365
Aunt Hagatha,
for Tabitha's last birthday,
340
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:36,233
Mother gave her
a cosmos coloring book.
341
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:39,436
Now, I think there's
a picture of a dodo bird in it.
342
00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,938
Why don't you pop upstairs
and take a look?
343
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:45,042
And if there is,
zap the bird out of the book.
344
00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:47,077
Of course, Samantha.
345
00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:51,015
What a shame.
346
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,283
What do you mean,
"what a shame"?
347
00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:56,053
Well, your Aunt Hagatha's
gonna zap a dodo bird
348
00:15:56,054 --> 00:15:58,555
out of Tabitha's
cosmos coloring book
349
00:15:58,556 --> 00:15:59,890
so we can get a tail feather
350
00:15:59,891 --> 00:16:02,393
o get rid of your horizontal
and vertical red stripes.
351
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,594
Why did you say, "what a shame"?
352
00:16:04,595 --> 00:16:06,863
Well, that's a pretty wild trip.
353
00:16:06,864 --> 00:16:10,167
It's kind of sad I'll never be
able to tell anybody about it.
354
00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:11,868
HAGATHA: Oh! Oh, oh!
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
355
00:16:11,869 --> 00:16:14,471
Get away from me,
you dirty old bird!
356
00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:17,474
Mr. Stephens, I suggest you get
the tail feather yourself.
357
00:16:17,475 --> 00:16:19,276
I'm not going near
that dirty bird.
358
00:16:19,277 --> 00:16:21,845
How am I supposed to get a tail
feather out of that thing?
359
00:16:21,846 --> 00:16:23,613
Well, I suppose a rear attack
is in order.
360
00:16:23,614 --> 00:16:26,616
That's the part you're after.
Good luck.
361
00:16:26,617 --> 00:16:27,918
[SQUAWKING]
362
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,669
Oh... Ooh, Sam!
363
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,671
Sam, you'd better
get out of sight.
364
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:50,073
If anyone comes along, I might
be able to explain the bird
365
00:16:50,074 --> 00:16:52,376
but how would I explain you?
366
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,212
[
]
367
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:02,586
Here, birdie.
Here, birdie, birdie, birdie.
368
00:17:04,522 --> 00:17:05,956
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
369
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,128
Will you come on down here,
you rotten bird?
370
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:14,698
[CAR APPROACHING]
371
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:22,973
What's the matter?
372
00:17:25,876 --> 00:17:28,011
[SQUAWKING]
373
00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:33,650
What do you make of it?
374
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:34,651
I don't know.
375
00:17:34,652 --> 00:17:36,420
Is it a bird?
376
00:17:36,421 --> 00:17:38,955
Well, if it's a bird, it's the
biggest bird I've ever seen.
377
00:17:38,956 --> 00:17:41,592
Should we get out
and investigate?
378
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:45,162
You get out and investigate,
I'm not going anywhere near it.
379
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,864
Maybe we'd better call in.
380
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:48,165
Good suggestion.
381
00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:54,805
This is Car 953. Car 953.
Do you read me?
382
00:17:54,806 --> 00:17:56,974
Come in, Car 953.
383
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,410
We're in front of a house
on Morning Glory Circle
384
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,011
and we want to report a, um...
385
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:03,113
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
...uh...
386
00:18:04,882 --> 00:18:06,550
Bad suggestion.
387
00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:08,018
You describe it.
388
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:09,787
MAN [ON RADIO]:
You want to report a what?
389
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,323
Uh, nothing. It's just
something we thought we saw
390
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:13,624
that we realized we didn't see.
391
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:15,091
What?
392
00:18:15,092 --> 00:18:18,128
Over and out.
Let's go have a beer.
393
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:19,596
Good suggestion.
394
00:18:21,932 --> 00:18:23,367
[
]
395
00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:32,476
[SQUAWKING]
396
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,691
DARRIN:
Now, listen, you dumb dodo,
397
00:18:47,692 --> 00:18:50,494
either you're coming down here
or I'm coming up to get you.
398
00:18:50,495 --> 00:18:52,963
[SQUAWKS]
399
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:02,439
Okay, if that's
the way you want to play.
400
00:19:34,572 --> 00:19:36,172
[SCREAMS]
401
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:44,949
I got it.
I got it.
402
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,550
Sweetheart, are you all right?
403
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:48,586
Oh, yeah. In fact,
404
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,221
if I hadn't have grabbed
that bird by the tail,
405
00:19:51,222 --> 00:19:53,757
I would have fallen off
that roof headfirst.
406
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,593
That dumb bird saved my life.
407
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,061
I knew there was something
I didn't like about that bird.
408
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,699
Oh, Hagatha, will you just
zap him back into the book?
409
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:06,069
HAGATHA: Thank you for
your feather Dodo, dear.
410
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:09,740
Now, back to the bookGet out of here.
411
00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:25,689
Here's looking at you.
412
00:20:29,393 --> 00:20:30,553
[COUGHS]
413
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:46,977
Dr. BombayYou're 0 for 2.
414
00:20:46,978 --> 00:20:49,279
Appear at onceOr you are through
415
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,948
I hope this is important.
416
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,917
I was engaged
in a very crucial chess match.
417
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:56,286
That's what you wear
to play chess?
418
00:20:56,287 --> 00:20:57,721
It is when I'm tackling
my nurse.
419
00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:59,923
[CACKLES]
420
00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:01,959
Samantha,
you naughty little witch,
421
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,460
you haven't taken your potion.
422
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:06,764
Yes, I have.
And I'm running out of patience.
423
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:07,798
You and me both.
424
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:10,133
Doctor, you're a disgrace
to your profession.
425
00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:12,068
What profession?
426
00:21:12,069 --> 00:21:14,371
Well, if you're going
to harass me, I'll leave.
427
00:21:14,372 --> 00:21:16,172
Oh, now, now, wait a minute.
428
00:21:16,173 --> 00:21:18,509
Lay off him,
he's the only one we've got.
429
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:19,676
Thank you, Samantha.
430
00:21:19,677 --> 00:21:21,678
I don't understand
what could have gone wrong.
431
00:21:21,679 --> 00:21:23,380
You followed my directions
precisely?
432
00:21:23,381 --> 00:21:26,950
Yes.
That's probably what went wrong.
433
00:21:26,951 --> 00:21:29,152
You've got the tail feather
of a dodo bird?
434
00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:32,623
Oh, yes. And I've got
the scars to prove it.
435
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,924
And you followed my directions?
You got the potion,
436
00:21:34,925 --> 00:21:36,526
you put in the tail feather,
437
00:21:36,527 --> 00:21:38,328
you mixed slowly
so as not to bruise
438
00:21:38,329 --> 00:21:39,929
the Himalayan cinnamon stick?
439
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,834
You didn't mention
the Himalayan cinnamon stick.
440
00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,870
Of course I did, it's the most
important ingredient.
441
00:21:46,871 --> 00:21:48,505
It's not only
essential to the potion,
442
00:21:48,506 --> 00:21:50,708
it provides
the necessary antitoxin.
443
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:52,709
You did not say anything
444
00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:55,345
about the Himalayan
cinnamon stick!
445
00:21:55,346 --> 00:21:56,913
I must have.
446
00:21:56,914 --> 00:21:58,215
You didn't.
447
00:21:58,216 --> 00:21:59,817
Do you have witnesses?
448
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:00,951
Yes.
449
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:04,955
In that case, it's obvious
I didn't mention it.
450
00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:06,556
And having done so,
I shall leave.
451
00:22:06,557 --> 00:22:07,958
[GASPS]
452
00:22:09,627 --> 00:22:14,965
There goes one of the great
quackpots of all time.
453
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:18,569
Speaking of time,
how much time do we have left?
454
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:20,771
Well, he said
we had eight hours,
455
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:23,473
so that leaves us about an hour.
456
00:22:23,474 --> 00:22:28,445
And Ah Fong's is closed.
I can't get ahold of Mr. Fong.
457
00:22:28,446 --> 00:22:32,683
Sam, I may get arrested
for what I'm about to do,
458
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,018
but I'm about to do it.
459
00:22:36,554 --> 00:22:38,521
But what about bail?
460
00:22:38,522 --> 00:22:42,092
Bail is set at $150.
Pay the clerk.
461
00:22:42,093 --> 00:22:44,027
It's cheap at twice the price.
462
00:22:45,162 --> 00:22:47,430
I got it. I got it.
463
00:22:47,431 --> 00:22:48,732
SAMANTHA:
How did you manage?
464
00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:50,701
How? Oh, it was easy.
465
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:53,236
I got arrested
and posted $150 bail.
466
00:22:53,237 --> 00:22:56,339
What?
But it doesn't matter.
467
00:22:56,340 --> 00:22:57,741
Let's see if it works this time.
468
00:22:57,742 --> 00:23:00,376
Oh, well, okay. Okay.
469
00:23:00,377 --> 00:23:01,678
Ew.
470
00:23:09,386 --> 00:23:11,054
Excuse us, folks.
471
00:23:12,556 --> 00:23:14,625
We would like to ask you
some questions.
472
00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:15,926
[
]
473
00:23:21,165 --> 00:23:22,599
[
]
474
00:23:25,136 --> 00:23:26,703
[
]
475
00:23:30,408 --> 00:23:31,542
[CLEARS THROAT]
476
00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:33,644
Uh, yes, officers?
477
00:23:33,645 --> 00:23:36,046
What's wrong
with your face, lady?
478
00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:39,149
My husband wanted to see
what I look like in stripes.
479
00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,454
What can we do for you?
480
00:23:43,455 --> 00:23:46,323
Well, we saw something
on your roof earlier
481
00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:48,492
and we'd like to ask you
about it.
482
00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:49,793
Oh?
483
00:23:49,794 --> 00:23:52,162
Yes, it was, uh... Um...
484
00:23:52,163 --> 00:23:54,664
Well, it was a pretty big, uh...
485
00:23:55,933 --> 00:23:57,834
Tell them, Charlie.
486
00:23:57,835 --> 00:24:01,905
Well, it was sort of a...
Uh... Uh...
487
00:24:01,906 --> 00:24:05,008
There hasn't been anyone on our
roof since the TV repairman.
488
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:06,276
Oh.
489
00:24:06,277 --> 00:24:07,577
Does he have feathers?
490
00:24:07,578 --> 00:24:08,978
I don't know.
491
00:24:08,979 --> 00:24:12,583
I haven't seen him in some time.
492
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:15,385
Well, what we thought we saw
was a pretty strange...
493
00:24:15,386 --> 00:24:17,954
Um, y... Uh...
494
00:24:17,955 --> 00:24:20,123
Well, Fred here
thought it was a bird.
495
00:24:20,124 --> 00:24:22,592
What's so strange about
seeing a bird on a roof?
496
00:24:22,593 --> 00:24:25,162
Well, this was no ordinary bird.
497
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:25,996
No?
498
00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:27,498
No. No, no, no.
499
00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:29,859
It was more like a...
Uh... Uh...
500
00:24:30,935 --> 00:24:32,503
Tell them, Fred.
501
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:35,839
Well, it was a...
It was a great, big bird.
502
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,773
How big?
503
00:24:36,774 --> 00:24:39,108
Well, you may not believe this,
504
00:24:39,109 --> 00:24:42,012
but it was
almost as big as a... As a...
505
00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:43,180
As what?
506
00:24:43,181 --> 00:24:45,883
Tell them, Charlie.
507
00:24:48,853 --> 00:24:50,220
Where'd your stripes go?
508
00:24:52,891 --> 00:24:54,457
What stripes?
509
00:24:57,194 --> 00:25:00,330
Now, you were saying, uh,
the bird was as big as what?
510
00:25:00,331 --> 00:25:03,166
Oh, nothing, nothing.
No, uh...
511
00:25:03,167 --> 00:25:04,968
Sorry to bother you.
512
00:25:04,969 --> 00:25:06,837
We didn't see anything.
Right, Fred?
513
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:09,072
Right, right.
We're sorry for the intrusion.
514
00:25:09,073 --> 00:25:10,440
[
]
515
00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:14,912
[SIGHS]
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