Original subtitles

[ ]

That was very good, that last one. Yeah.

Mommy, "What is grey, has big ears

a long trunk, and weighs only three pounds?"

I don't know. What is grey, has big ears, a long trunk

and weighs only three pounds?

"A very, very, very thin elephant."

[LAUGHS]

Heh-heh! You got me there, partner.

Now,

what kind of a table has no legs?

A timetable. Oh...

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Grandma's here. Grandma.

[ ]

Okay, sweetie, here we go. We're gonna see Grandma, huh?

How is my little angel? Fine.

Ah, and where is Mommy?

Hi, Mrs. Stephens. Oh, there you are, Samantha.

Oh, and there he is.

Guess what Grandma has brought for her precious.

Oh, what is that? [CHUCKLES]

And this is for the littlest princess.

Oh, Mrs. Stephens. I think it's a top.

You don't have to bring them something every time you come.

Well, if I were here as often as your mother,

you'd probably be right.

[GASPS]

Oh, look. What is that?

Oh, it's a top.

Oh, look, Mommy.

Thank you, Grandma.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Why, I haven't seen one of those since I...

It must be very old. Oh, yes.

Yes, it was given to me by my grandmother.

Well, Tabitha, you take very good care of that.

It's a real antique.

Wow,

it must be a thousand years old.

Not quite.

But you're close.

You know, Darrin stopped by the house last week,

and I thought he looked awfully thin.

Well, I-I hope you told him.

He's been trying to lose a few pounds.

[SOBBING]

Oh, Tabitha, I'm surprised at you.

Now, you're old enough to share.

But it's an antique, and he might break it.

Well, he can play with it

if he promises to be very, very careful.

Promise, Adam?

All right, sweetheart.

Let him play with it for a little while.

[ ]

I hope you don't misunderstand, Samantha.

I'm sure you do your best

to cook the things that Darrin likes.

But perhaps I'd better give you the recipes

for some of the favorite dishes of his.

[ ]

[NARRATOR READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

[ ]

[ ]

[ ]

What...? What was that?

What do you mean?

The... The doll.

It floated through the air

from Adam right over to Tabitha.

Yes. Weird, isn't it?

Uh, Tabitha, I think the only thing to do...

Excuse me.

Is put this away until you two have learned how to share.

Now, why don't you and Adam go out in the back

and play for a while?

Okay. Come on, Adam, let's go outside and share.

Come on, sweetie. Come on.

There you go. Take the top outside.

That's good.

Well, how about a cup of coffee? I have some in the kitchen.

Oh, never mind the coffee. What about the doll?

You mean, you noticed it too?

Huh?

Mrs. Stephens, you were right about that doll.

I-it did fly across the room.

Did it ever occur to you

that you might have been the one who moved it?

Me?

Of course.

It's a question of mind over matter.

Mrs. Stephens, isn't it true that you were worried about

Adam playing with your grandmother's doll

that he might damage it?

Yes.

It's simple.

Your subconscious willed that the doll be

in the hands of Tabitha

where it would be safe.

[ ]

Come.

What are you doing?

I'm testing my powers, what do you think?

Come.

I did it.

There's no doubt about it, I do have the power.

But why is it I've never been aware of it?

Well, uh,

from what little I-I've read,

supernatural powers have a tendency to come and go.

Mostly go. This will probably never happen again.

Oh, no. No.

And I know where my powers come from.

My grandmother, the one who gave me this doll,

people said she had unusual powers.

Really?

You know, this could come in very handy.

At my Tuesday night bridge club, for example.

M-Mrs. Stephens,

I swear I will not tell a soul about this,

a-a-and I assume you won't either.

Why not?

Well, I-I-I don't know too much about it,

but, uh, it seems to me

that people shouldn't fool around with the unknown.

And I certainly wouldn't tell anybody about this.

Most people are disbelievers,

and they'd just think that you're...

Screwy?

Samantha,

you must promise me never to tell a soul about this.

[ ]

[ ]

Where the devil have you been?

Funny you should mention the devil.

Phyllis, do you mind telling me where you've been all day?

I've been to the library, studying.

I didn't think you even knew where it was.

What are you studying?

Oh, nothing.

Phyllis, if you've got something to say, say it.

My lips are sealed.

Good.

I'm gonna mix myself a drink.

Oh, wait. Wait, Frank,

I-I have something to tell you.

What is it?

Oh, Frank, I found out

something about myself today.

Yeah?

I have supernatural powers.

What do you mean, supernatural?

What do you think I mean by supernatural?

Well, I think that it means things that aren't natural.

But that's not what you mean, is it?

That's exactly what I mean.

Good grief.

I'm gonna call Dr. Rhinehouse. You've wigged out.

Oh, really?

Would you like a demonstration?

I will that hourglass

to fly off that shelf

and over to my beloved husband.

Go.

You're right, let's go, to see Dr. Rhinehouse.

You go see Dr. Rhinehouse.

I'm gonna find out what's happened to my power.

Wherever you go, I'm going with you.

Hi, sweetheart. H-how was your game?

Great. But it'll improve.

How did it go with my mother today?

We had a very interesting visit.

Well, what do you mean, "interesting"?

Well, uh, wh-why don't you let me fix you a drink

and then I'll tell you all about it?

I have a feeling this is gonna be a two-drink story.

[DOORBELL RINGS] Well...

Uh, you answer that, I'll get your drink.

[ ]

Oh, hi...

Samantha, I've got to talk to you, privately.

Mother, aren't you even gonna say hello to me?

Honey, it's Darrin. Our son?

Oh, I'm so sorry, dear.

How was your golf game?

Terrible, thanks.

Well, don't be surprised if it improves.

Come, Samantha.

You know what this is all about?

Your mother has some weird idea

that she has supernatural powers.

Is that right? Darrin, what am I gonna do?

Well, the first thing to do is have a drink.

I'll meet you in the den.

[ ]

As I told you before,

these things have a tendency to come and go.

Mostly go.

Yours are gone.

Hee-hee! Samantha, if you'll forgive me,

this is one subject you know nothing about.

This is a private conversation.

I just came in to get... Out.

Yes, ma'am.

Now, what was I saying? Oh, yes.

Now, I've been at the, uh, library

studying supernatural powers all day,

and I found out

why my powers worked here

and not in my house.

You did? Why?

Do you know what a familiar is?

A what?

Well, I see I'll have to start with fundamentals.

According to my research,

a familiar is an animal or an object

which acts as a transmitter, so to speak,

for a person who has the power.

Do you follow me?

Vaguely.

Naturally, it's hard for a person

like yourself to understand.

But the point is that somewhere in this house

is my familiar.

Mrs. Stephens...

Oh, please, Samantha. Take my word for it.

Now, let's see. It could be anything.

A pot, an eggbeater,

a picture.

[ ]

[ ]

That's it. That's my familiar.

My grandmother's doll. Of course.

Should I go up to my room?

That's a nice, safe place.

I'll be up in a minute.

[SIGHS]

[ ]

Tell Tabitha not to worry about the doll.

I'll get her another one.

Another one? Well, of course.

You don't think I'm gonna give this one up, do you?

She's regressing.

I've gotta get her to a doctor.

No, Dad, wait.

I wouldn't do anything to, uh, provoke her right now.

You know what I mean?

Oh, she might flip altogether?

It's better to humor her.

[ ]

Well, darling, I see you've got your doll back.

For your information, this isn't just a doll.

It isn't?

Oh, of course it isn't.

What is it?

It's my familiar.

Well, it should be familiar,

you've had it since you were a child.

Oh, Frank, stop humoring me.

I'm as sane as anybody in this room,

and I'll prove it to you.

[ ]

Come to me.

I said, come to me.

I know what's wrong.

There are negative vibrations in this room

sent out by disbelievers.

And I think he knows who he is.

I'm going to look this up in my books.

[ ]

Phyllis, wait.

Don't you think it'd be a better idea

if we went home?

I'm not going home with any disbeliever,

you old goat.

[ ]

That's it. That's what?

The answer. What was the question?

I'll tell you later.

What your mother needs is a good dose

of hyper-hallucinogenic revelation.

What?

I'm gonna scare the daylights out of her.

If you don't mind your father

being changed into a goat for a few hours.

[ ]

[ ]

Moony, cheeny.

Toony, greeny

[ ]

Are you having any luck?

No.

No, I just tried this incantation,

but nothing happened.

I'll find another spell.

I guess the reason

my powers are so erratic is because...

[ ] [GASPS]

I did it again.

Oh, Frank. Frank, come here, quick.

You think you're so smart. Come and see something.

[ ]

I had the doll up in the air.

Sure. Sure.

Why won't you believe me? Why? Why?

Because... I'll tell you why.

Because you're as stubborn as a mule.

Sam.

Well, how did I know she was gonna switch to a mule?

Good heavens.

What...? How...?

I mean, did I do that?

Well, you must have. It was a subconscious wish.

Just like this morning,

when you willed that doll from Adam.

Oh, Frank, it was an accident.

Frank, I'm so sorry.

[BRAYS]

He's angry with me.

Do you blame him?

Uh, I think you'd better try and undo whatever it is you did.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Undo the spell. [BRAYS]

Now, look here. I-I want that spell undone this minute.

Do you hear?

[BRAYS]

Oh, Frank, will you ever forgive me?

[BRAYING]

Samantha, I have come to a decision.

What's that, Mrs. Stephens?

Never again, as long as I live,

no matter what the temptation,

no matter what the circumstances,

irregardless of how I feel...

Go ahead, Mother.

I will never again use the phrase

"stubborn mule" to your poor father.

From now on, I'm gonna have to be very careful

what I say, or think, for that matter.

People with my power have to learn

to discipline their thoughts.

Uh, Mrs. Stephens,

I-I have what I think is a logical suggestion.

Now, if you got the power from your grandmother,

why not ask her to solve this problem?

Sort of go to the source of the sorcery,

so to speak.

How can I ask her?

Well, there must be something in all those books of yours

on... On how to contact the spirit world.

Oh, you mean a s?ance?

Whatever it's called.

That's a marvelous idea.

I'll go right in and look up how it's done.

Frank, get out of my way.

[ ] [BRAYS]

[ ]

Now... Now, you sit there, Samantha,

and, Darrin, you're over here.

Frank, you're fine where you are.

Now, let's all join hands.

[ ]

All right.

Clear your minds, everybody.

Oh, Grandma,

I call to your spirit from the vasty deep.

Oh, hear me. Hear me.

Hear me.

[BRAYS]

Was that her?

No, that was Frank. Keep trying.

I beseech you, Grandma, to come to me

from your great spirit world.

Come to me. Come to me.

Come to me.

[ ]

Mother, look.

[GASPS]

Good heavens. What's that?

It's your grandmother.

It doesn't look like her.

Well, that's her spirit, not her body.

Oh, of course, what's the matter with me?

How are you, Grandma?

SPIRIT: Just fine, Phyllis, dear. How are you?

Grandma, what happened to your Irish brogue?

[IRISH ACCENT] Sure and begorra, I've still got it, me darlin'.

Now, if you don't mind me askin', Phyllis,

what are you callin' me about?

Oh, Grandma, a terrible thing has happened.

I turned Frank into a mule, and now I can't turn him back.

Fay, 'tis is a sorry sight to see.

'Twas my hope you'd never discover the family curse

but you have, worse luck.

Family curse?

Aye, that it is.

And many the soul it's brought to grief.

If you know what's good for you,

you'll give it up and ne'er try it again.

Oh, I will, Grandma. I swear. I promise.

Fine. Now, I've got to be on me way.

Goodbye to you all.

Oh, oh, wait, Grandma,

you didn't tell me how to turn Frank back.

You'll have to find out for yourself.

I swore I'd never use me powers again.

But if you swear never to use

your powers again...

Oh, I swear. I swear.

All right. I'll give you a bit of a hint.

It's a common word in everyday use.

The secret word

is "love."

Love.

[ ] [FADING] Love.

I don't understand. What does she mean?

Oh, Grandma, come back.

Can't you give me another hint?

Mrs. Stephens, I think I know what your grandmother meant.

You do? What? What?

She meant that there is no power

greater than the power of love.

Maybe that'll do the trick.

Love?

Yes.

So maybe if you told Dad how much you love him,

it would help.

You think so?

It wouldn't hurt.

I'll try it. I'll try anything.

[ ]

Frank. Frank, I love you.

You know that, don't you?

I know that sometimes I'm very unfair to you,

and I say things I don't mean.

And I admit I'm very quick-tempered

and not very understanding.

But underneath it all,

you know you mean everything in the world to me.

[MULE BRAYS]

Phyllis.

Oh, Frank.

Yes, I'll do that. Goodbye, Mom.

Hello from my mother.

You know, it's really incredible.

They've been carrying on like kids all week.

Sunday, they went bike riding, bowling last night.

And guess what they're doing tonight.

Splitting a tank of oxygen?

Sorry. What are they doing?

They're going to a rock concert

to hear Freddy and the Furry Freaks.

That's terrific. It just proves what I've always maintained:

Nothing beats a simple statement of love.

Even when it's brought about by witchcraft?

Even then.

And as far as I'm concerned,

it couldn't happen to the parents of a nicer person.

Speaking of nice things reminds me of your mother.

Really?

I was just thinking how nice it is

that we haven't seen her in over two weeks.

Oh, now, Darrin, don't tempt fate.

You never know when she might be...

She was.

His mother was a fool.

His father was a mule.

From this you may deduce.

Their offspring is a goose

[GASPS] [HONKS]

Oh, oh...

Oh, oh, Mother, how could you?

[ ]

"Easy."

Oh. Oh, sweetheart,

I am sorry.

But I did warn you.

[HONKS]

Darrin, you be careful what you say.

[HONKING]

Mother speaks perfect goose.

Oh, Darrin, calm down.

You know very well that Mother will be along

any minute to change you back.

I'll, uh, tell you what I'll do,

just to keep you happy till Mother arrives.

[ ]

[HONKING]

[ ]

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