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1
00:00:02,234 --> 00:00:03,902
[
]
2
00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:06,504
[BOTH LAUGHING]
3
00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:10,709
SAMANTHA:
Okay, okay, come on.
4
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:13,011
Come on. Morning
swim is over.
5
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:15,480
Here, sweetheart. You hop
out here and grab this.
6
00:00:15,481 --> 00:00:18,149
Mommy, are we ever
gonna have a real pool?
7
00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:20,518
Yes, when we can afford
the right kind.
8
00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:23,187
What kind is that?
The kind we can afford.
9
00:00:23,188 --> 00:00:26,091
Oh. Goodness.
He's all dripping wet.
10
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,860
Now, I'll tell you what.
You take... Oopsie.
11
00:00:28,861 --> 00:00:32,063
You take Adam upstairs,
get him dried off,
12
00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:34,799
and get ready
for breakfast, okay?
13
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,868
Okay.
14
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:42,507
Boy, I'd love that.
A big, beautiful pool.
15
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,344
I heard that.
16
00:00:46,345 --> 00:00:49,280
I heard that poor child
gasp for water.
17
00:00:49,281 --> 00:00:50,348
Good morning, Mother.
18
00:00:50,349 --> 00:00:52,150
To think my grandchildren,
19
00:00:52,151 --> 00:00:55,921
who are honor-born to ride
the wings of the wind.
20
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:58,857
To think my grandchildren
would be found swimming
21
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:01,560
in this Olympic-size
rubber band.
22
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,762
It's just too disgusting.
23
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,296
What else is new?
24
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:11,203
Oh. Well, if it isn't
El Cheapo.
25
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,638
Good morning, El Moutho.
26
00:01:13,639 --> 00:01:15,006
[HISSES]
27
00:01:16,308 --> 00:01:19,144
Okay, you two,
n-now, stop that.
28
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,212
Uh, sweetheart, would you
please empty the pool?
29
00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:22,714
I'm gonna take
the kids shopping,
30
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:26,084
and we won't be needing it
for the rest of the afternoon.
31
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,887
[
]
32
00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:30,622
How can that miserly
husband of yours
33
00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:33,224
allow my grandchildren
to spend another summer
34
00:01:33,225 --> 00:01:35,760
sweltering in
the unbearable heat?
35
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:37,762
Mother, we don't exactly live
36
00:01:37,763 --> 00:01:39,897
at the corner of
Sahara and Equator,
37
00:01:39,898 --> 00:01:41,600
so will you stop ranting?
38
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,768
As you wish, my darling.
39
00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:47,472
But my grandchildren
shall have what they want.
40
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,374
[MAGIC CHIMES]
41
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,410
[WATER SPLASHING]
42
00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:54,012
Mother, what did you do?
43
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,780
About what?
44
00:01:55,781 --> 00:01:59,117
Did you pop a pool
into our back yard?
45
00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:00,952
Why?
46
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:03,555
Darrin's out there.
47
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,356
[
]
48
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,593
I was out there.
49
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:13,298
But I just came in
with the tide.
50
00:02:22,007 --> 00:02:25,644
Mm. Hi. Mother
got rid of the pool.
51
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:30,014
Isn't that nice?
One down, one to go.
52
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,651
I won't have time
for breakfast, Sam.
53
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:36,687
My morning swim made me
a little late for work.
54
00:02:36,688 --> 00:02:39,557
Oh, but you look so refreshed.
55
00:02:39,558 --> 00:02:43,228
Well, under this calm,
refreshed exterior,
56
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:47,399
is a burning urge to invite you
to a lynching, Endora. Yours.
57
00:02:49,101 --> 00:02:51,670
No one seems to appreciate me.
58
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,806
Mother, it isn't as if
we don't appreciate you.
59
00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:57,208
We will get our own pool
with our own money
60
00:02:57,209 --> 00:02:58,476
when we can afford it.
61
00:02:58,477 --> 00:03:01,245
Which will probably be never.
62
00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:04,949
Keep your cool, sweetheart.
63
00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:06,918
I'll be out of the office
most of the day.
64
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,421
Larry and I have appointments
all over town.
65
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:12,424
And when I come home,
if your mother isn't here,
66
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,392
I won't exactly be disappointed.
67
00:03:14,393 --> 00:03:16,594
Don't worry, she won't be here.
68
00:03:16,595 --> 00:03:17,862
Mm.
69
00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:27,839
NARRATOR:
70
00:03:37,182 --> 00:03:39,884
[
]
71
00:04:04,276 --> 00:04:07,645
[
]
72
00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:13,918
[
]
73
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:15,553
LARRY:
All in all, we didn't do badly.
74
00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:17,856
We're in with
the Patterson account
75
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,758
and Pridewell is
a definite maybe.
76
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,426
DARRIN: We can still land the
Cushman Restaurant account too.
77
00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:24,262
If you fellas are gonna
talk any longer,
78
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:26,931
I'm gonna have to
put my meter down again.
79
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:29,700
Ah. I didn't realize
we were at the office.
80
00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:33,938
Time stands still when he counts
money in the bank. Heh-heh-heh.
81
00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:35,740
Oh, Darrin, take care
of the cab, will you?
82
00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:38,143
I just remembered I'm expecting
a call from the coast.
83
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,377
Oh. Thanks a lot.
84
00:04:39,378 --> 00:04:43,014
[
]
85
00:04:43,015 --> 00:04:45,884
Here, keep the change.
Ah. Thanks, thanks.
86
00:04:47,552 --> 00:04:50,421
Hey! You forgot something.
87
00:04:59,564 --> 00:05:01,432
Just what I need,
one more thing. Heh-heh.
88
00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:03,301
Just shove it under the arm here.
Okay.
89
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:05,203
Thank you.
Right.
90
00:05:09,374 --> 00:05:11,375
[
]
91
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,658
Yes, Darrin?
92
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,294
Uh. Larry, did you leave
something in the cab?
93
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,028
I don't know.
Did you find something?
94
00:05:31,029 --> 00:05:32,764
If you left it behind.
95
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:38,136
If I left it behind and you
found it, I must have lost it.
96
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:41,506
Or let me put it another way.
What are we talking about?
97
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:45,343
I'm asking you if you left
an envelope in the cab.
98
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:46,511
Well, what's in it?
99
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,845
Hold on.
100
00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:49,847
[
]
101
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:10,067
Hello? Darrin?
102
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,703
Darrin?
103
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:13,905
Uh. Yes.
104
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,139
Well, what is it?
105
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,742
What is what?
106
00:06:18,743 --> 00:06:20,545
What you found.
107
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,346
What I found?
108
00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:25,516
Oh, you're asking what I found.
109
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:29,386
It's, uh... It's, uh...
110
00:06:29,387 --> 00:06:30,888
It's a not yours.
111
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,557
What?
112
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:38,196
Uh, it's just a, um, message
from my mother-in-law.
113
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:40,364
How sweet.
114
00:06:40,365 --> 00:06:42,834
Does she often send you
little notes?
115
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:45,069
Oh, yeah.
116
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,637
Big ones too.
117
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:50,374
[
]
118
00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:54,212
[PHONE RINGS]
119
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:58,149
Hello?
120
00:06:58,150 --> 00:06:59,617
Oh, hi, Darrin.
121
00:06:59,618 --> 00:07:01,653
Wanna hear something funny?
Sure.
122
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:04,088
Really funny?
Yeah.
123
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:06,357
Hilarious, in fact?
124
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,528
Uh-oh. It's getting funnier
every second.
125
00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:12,997
You're not going to believe it.
126
00:07:12,998 --> 00:07:15,966
Sweetheart, I love the way
you come right to the point.
127
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:17,134
Uh, maybe I can help you.
128
00:07:17,135 --> 00:07:19,170
It has something to do
with Mother, right?
129
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:20,871
Right.
130
00:07:20,872 --> 00:07:23,273
We said we wouldn't put in
a pool until we could afford it,
131
00:07:23,274 --> 00:07:27,078
so she conveniently zapped up
a plain, unmarked envelope
132
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:29,314
with I don't know how many
thousands of dollars.
133
00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:33,184
Uh, where did she zap it up?
134
00:07:33,185 --> 00:07:34,918
In the cab.
135
00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:37,221
I would appreciate it
if you get hold of her,
136
00:07:37,222 --> 00:07:39,590
and tell her to zap it
out of my life.
137
00:07:39,591 --> 00:07:41,526
We're not interested.
138
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:46,197
Y-yeah. Okay, sweetheart. Bye.
139
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,969
Mother!
140
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,204
Mother, is it possible
141
00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:57,141
that you could be lurking
somewhere nearby?
142
00:07:57,142 --> 00:08:00,878
I never lurk.
What's your problem?
143
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:03,548
Mother, that wasn't funny.
What?
144
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:04,982
It wasn't funny at all.
145
00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:06,851
I don't know what
you're talking about.
146
00:08:06,852 --> 00:08:09,520
As a matter of fact,
it was insulting.
147
00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,855
You must have a pretty
low opinion of Darrin
148
00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:13,423
to think that he
wouldn't see through
149
00:08:13,424 --> 00:08:14,925
something so obvious.
150
00:08:14,926 --> 00:08:17,996
You're quite right about
my opinion of Durwood,
151
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,298
but if you don't tell me
what this is all about,
152
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:24,135
I shall scream and shatter
glass all over Westport.
153
00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:28,373
Darrin found a ton
of money in a taxi.
154
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:29,907
Wonderful.
155
00:08:29,908 --> 00:08:33,744
I hope he found enough to get
his parched children a pool.
156
00:08:33,745 --> 00:08:37,215
He found enough to get them
an entire ocean.
157
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:40,818
And I will thank you to zap it
back where it came from.
158
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:42,953
You know I always take credit
where credit is due,
159
00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:45,055
and once in a while,
where it isn't.
160
00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:47,091
But in this case,
161
00:08:47,092 --> 00:08:52,029
if I were to do such a thing,
I would be much more clever.
162
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:55,599
That feeble zap was not mine.
163
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:59,336
Witch's honor?
164
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:02,406
Witch's honor.
165
00:09:02,407 --> 00:09:07,311
Well, if you didn't
leave the money in the cab,
166
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:09,013
who did?
167
00:09:10,315 --> 00:09:12,249
[
]
168
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,795
Are you the gentleman
that called the dispatcher?
169
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:28,900
It was I.
Oh, yeah. Two rides ago.
170
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,069
First time anything like that
ever happened to me.
171
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,338
Somebody calling the dispatcher
requesting my services.
172
00:09:34,339 --> 00:09:36,507
You give a very smooth ride.
Thank you.
173
00:09:36,508 --> 00:09:39,010
Where to?
Uh. Nowhere.
174
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,879
Oh, I get it.
You lost something?
175
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,749
Yes. Something
very dear to me.
176
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,951
Something I want back badly.
177
00:09:46,952 --> 00:09:49,520
I know the guy that's got it.
178
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:52,623
[
]
179
00:09:58,663 --> 00:10:00,465
That's him.
180
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:01,632
Follow him.
181
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,568
Follow him? Why?
182
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,070
Why don't you just go over
and ask for the envelope?
183
00:10:06,071 --> 00:10:07,671
This area is too crowded.
184
00:10:07,672 --> 00:10:10,808
To ask a fella for an envelope?
185
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:13,144
Maybe he wouldn't be
able to hear me.
186
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,178
Follow him.
187
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:16,414
[
]
188
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,524
That's a lot of money.
189
00:10:27,525 --> 00:10:32,063
One hundred thousand dollars.
I counted it.
190
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:35,599
[
]
191
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,069
This guy lives at 1164
Morning Glory Circle.
192
00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:40,871
I'm going in there now
after the money.
193
00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:43,440
If something should
happen to me, you know.
194
00:10:43,441 --> 00:10:46,277
Anyway, I need you
to pick me up.
195
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:50,247
Hey, don't get so heavy
about it. Nobody's perfect.
196
00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:51,682
Hm.
197
00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:55,519
At first, I hoped the money
was counterfeit.
198
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,589
But I took $100 bill down
to the bank, and no such luck.
199
00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:01,625
Your mother must have zapped it
out of a Federal Reserve Bank.
200
00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:04,495
Darrin, I know my mother
is not responsible.
201
00:11:04,496 --> 00:11:06,698
She gave me her witch's honor.
202
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,133
Her witch's honor is like
getting the Boy Scout salute
203
00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:10,801
from Benedict Arnold.
204
00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:14,972
Darrin, you're acting
very flaky.
205
00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:16,841
May I join you?
206
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,276
I love to watch him
go to pieces.
207
00:11:19,277 --> 00:11:22,512
I'm glad you're here,
O weird one.
208
00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:25,282
Samantha, let me change him
into a ripe melon
209
00:11:25,283 --> 00:11:28,119
in a field of fruit flies.
210
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,386
Never mind that.
211
00:11:29,387 --> 00:11:32,356
Just zap this money back
where it came from.
212
00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:35,092
I don't know where it came from.
213
00:11:35,093 --> 00:11:37,128
Now, I better be leaving,
Samantha,
214
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,998
before I make him get down
on all four knees and apologize.
215
00:11:40,999 --> 00:11:42,867
Four knees?
216
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,169
He'll be a billy goat.
217
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,876
Sam, can't you send it back?
218
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,077
Darrin, did you ever
think of the possibility
219
00:11:54,078 --> 00:11:56,747
that this money might
have been lost by someone?
220
00:11:56,748 --> 00:11:59,884
I called the lost and found
at the cab company.
221
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,753
Somebody lost an umbrella
with a rib missing,
222
00:12:02,754 --> 00:12:04,521
and some lady
lost a pair of gloves.
223
00:12:04,522 --> 00:12:05,956
But nobody lost an envelope
224
00:12:05,957 --> 00:12:08,326
with enough money in it
to choke a horse.
225
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,361
That's it.
226
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:13,130
That's the answer
to whose money it might be.
227
00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:15,299
A horse lost it?
228
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:19,002
A horseplayer or a bookie.
229
00:12:19,003 --> 00:12:20,671
Or, who knows,
maybe even a gangster
230
00:12:20,672 --> 00:12:22,673
who'd be afraid
to report the loss.
231
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:26,677
Oh, come on, Sam.
I mean, gangsters?
232
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:28,979
What you won't think of
to defend your mother.
233
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:31,048
Darrin, you're overreacting.
234
00:12:31,049 --> 00:12:34,084
I know Mother's been
a problem in the past,
235
00:12:34,085 --> 00:12:37,655
but believe me,
this incident is not her work.
236
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:40,758
How can you be so sure?
237
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,226
Unless it's because you...
238
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:43,861
What?
239
00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:45,630
Oh, no, you wouldn't
have done it.
240
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:49,033
Darrin, are you accusing me?
241
00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:50,334
I didn't accuse you.
242
00:12:50,335 --> 00:12:52,669
Oh, yes, you did.
243
00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,505
You're being obstinate,
stubborn,
244
00:12:54,506 --> 00:12:56,641
childish and pigheaded.
245
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:59,410
Terrific. You didn't
leave out anything.
246
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,145
Oh, yes, I did.
247
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:03,880
You are being
intractable, obtuse,
248
00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:06,517
unyielding and pigheaded.
249
00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:08,185
You used that one already.
250
00:13:08,186 --> 00:13:10,087
Well, there are just
a few more I may use again,
251
00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:11,254
so I think I'd better go out
252
00:13:11,255 --> 00:13:13,724
and get some air
for a little while.
253
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:19,563
Thank you very much.
254
00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:20,798
My pleasure.
255
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:24,768
And I hope nobody comes for it.
256
00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:26,636
Where are you going?
I don't know.
257
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:29,840
I may go to a movie,
I may go and visit Louise,
258
00:13:29,841 --> 00:13:31,342
I may go to the moon.
259
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:34,745
But wherever I go, I will have
better company than here.
260
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,184
[
]
261
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,561
Here, keep the change.
Ah, thanks.
262
00:13:57,769 --> 00:13:59,403
[DOORBELL RINGS]
263
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:01,405
[
]
264
00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:05,976
How do you do?
How do you do?
265
00:14:05,977 --> 00:14:08,646
What can I do for you?
My name is Rudolph Kosko.
266
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:13,351
"Rudolph Kosko. Public relations
and advertising."
267
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,920
What a coincidence.
I'm in advertising too.
268
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,656
Heh. We have something else
in common: The envelope.
269
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:19,924
The envelope?
270
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:22,326
Yes, the one the cab driver
found and gave to you.
271
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:26,530
It's a very special envelope
in that it contains $100,000
272
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,232
of which I am very fond.
273
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,435
Oh, that envelope. Heh.
274
00:14:31,436 --> 00:14:35,739
Yes. Well, if you'll just give
it to me, I'll be on my way.
275
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,842
Uh, I'm afraid I can't do that.
276
00:14:40,445 --> 00:14:43,514
J-j-just who do you
think you are?
277
00:14:44,048 --> 00:14:45,649
I am somebody who,
278
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,784
when you use
an ill-considered tone to me,
279
00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:50,187
you do something more
courageous than you realize.
280
00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:52,456
Well, what are you
trying to say?
281
00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:54,191
I'm saying I want
my $100,000 back,
282
00:14:54,192 --> 00:14:56,560
and I don't want
any complications.
283
00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:58,229
Oh, there are no complications.
Good.
284
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,866
Except for one.
One little complication.
285
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,768
I don't have the money.
286
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:07,037
I mean, it's around,
but it's not.
287
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,739
One little complication.
288
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,473
Where is it?
289
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,810
My wife has it,
but she's not here.
290
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:14,111
Where is she?
291
00:15:14,112 --> 00:15:17,048
Well, she might be anywhere.
The movies, the moon.
292
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:20,050
[LAUGHING]
293
00:15:20,051 --> 00:15:22,386
If that's supposed
to be funny, I don't get it.
294
00:15:22,387 --> 00:15:23,654
Call your wife.
295
00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:25,856
I wouldn't know where to start.
296
00:15:25,857 --> 00:15:27,691
I'll start by calling Louise.
297
00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:29,526
Yeah, you do that.
298
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:35,899
[DIALING]
299
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:40,437
Louise.
300
00:15:40,438 --> 00:15:42,539
Hello, Louise. Look,
I know Sam isn't there yet,
301
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:44,008
but as soon as she comes...
302
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:45,943
What?
303
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:50,814
Oh, the kids are fine.
Look, as soon as she walks in...
304
00:15:50,815 --> 00:15:53,017
I'm fine too.
305
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:56,286
And my mother is fine.
Look, Louise,
306
00:15:56,287 --> 00:16:01,324
as soon as Sam gets there,
tell her to call me.
307
00:16:01,325 --> 00:16:03,260
She's not there yet.
Heh-heh-heh.
308
00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:05,395
[
]
309
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:08,565
Men. They're all alike.
310
00:16:08,566 --> 00:16:10,100
Darrin called and sounded like
311
00:16:10,101 --> 00:16:11,701
he was having
a nervous breakdown.
312
00:16:11,702 --> 00:16:13,437
Oh, what a performance.
313
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:15,038
Well, I don't blow up
at Darrin often,
314
00:16:15,039 --> 00:16:17,274
but this time he really
asked for it.
315
00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:18,309
[RINGS]
316
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,577
That's him again.
317
00:16:23,047 --> 00:16:25,583
Yes, Darrin?
318
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,051
Oh, she's here,
319
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,853
but I'm not sure she
wants to talk to you.
320
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,721
Yes, I do.
321
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:33,190
Shh. Let him stew for a while.
322
00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:39,163
I'm sorry, Darrin, but you'll
just have to call back.
323
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,597
Louise.
324
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:42,900
Well, let him cook
till he's well-done.
325
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:46,470
You wouldn't have understood
him anyway. He's so incoherent.
326
00:16:46,471 --> 00:16:48,338
Incoherent about what?
327
00:16:48,339 --> 00:16:51,675
Oh. Something about somebody
coming over for the money,
328
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,878
life or death.
329
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,479
It's always life or death.
330
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,616
Louise, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
331
00:16:59,617 --> 00:17:02,286
but it sounds like there
might be something wrong.
332
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,190
[DOOR OPENS]
333
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:10,460
Mr. Kosko,
I'm so glad you showed up.
334
00:17:10,461 --> 00:17:13,097
I knew that money
belonged to someone.
335
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:16,266
Heh. It usually does,
and I'd like to have it back.
336
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:18,569
Well, now, I-I don't
know if I should.
337
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:21,672
I mean, you must admit
it was rather careless of you.
338
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:24,608
I mean, $100,000
is a lot of money
339
00:17:24,609 --> 00:17:27,210
to leave in the back
of a cab, or anywhere.
340
00:17:27,211 --> 00:17:28,479
Except a bank.
341
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,448
Lady, I know it's a lot,
342
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,416
but since we're approaching
the dinner hour,
343
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:34,117
let us conclude
our little transaction
344
00:17:34,118 --> 00:17:36,386
without further stalling.
345
00:17:36,387 --> 00:17:38,521
Sam, why don't you
just whip out the money
346
00:17:38,522 --> 00:17:40,290
and give it to Mr. Kosko?
347
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:43,260
Yeah, well, I will, but I want
to ask him something first.
348
00:17:43,261 --> 00:17:45,629
Mr. Kosko, where did you
get all that money?
349
00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:48,232
I got it selling
Girl Scout cookies,
350
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,067
and I'd like it back now.
351
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,802
Now.
352
00:17:51,803 --> 00:17:54,271
Come on, Sam.
I'm sure Mr. Kosko
353
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:56,373
has a lot more cookies to sell.
354
00:17:56,374 --> 00:17:57,975
He's a very busy man.
355
00:17:57,976 --> 00:18:00,010
[DOORBELL RINGS]
356
00:18:00,011 --> 00:18:01,478
This is a very busy house.
357
00:18:01,479 --> 00:18:03,847
[
]
358
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,017
Who are you?
359
00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:10,387
I'm associated
with Mr. Kosko.
360
00:18:10,388 --> 00:18:12,289
This is Mr. Braun.
361
00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:13,957
Oh, I get it.
362
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:15,759
You're the brains
and you're the Braun.
363
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,362
Hey, that's not bad.
I'll use that.
364
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,498
I don't get it.
365
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:21,665
[DOORBELL RINGS]
366
00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:23,868
Ever thought of putting
in a revolving door?
367
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,636
Heh-heh.
368
00:18:27,138 --> 00:18:29,106
Darrin, I've put together
some rough layouts
369
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:30,241
on the Cushman account.
370
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,142
Using women's lib...
371
00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:35,746
Oh, I didn't know
you had guests.
372
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,915
Hi, Larry.
Sam.
373
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,283
This is Mr. Kosko
and Mr. Braun.
374
00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:41,819
Of Kosko and Braun,
375
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,188
public relations
and advertising.
376
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,790
Kosko and Braun,
377
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:49,126
public relations
and advertising.
378
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,095
If I didn't know I could
count on your loyalty,
379
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:54,231
I'd suspect you were negotiating
with another company.
380
00:18:54,232 --> 00:18:55,732
Oh, I'm not negotiating
with them.
381
00:18:55,733 --> 00:18:59,503
They're, um,
negotiating with me.
382
00:18:59,504 --> 00:19:02,472
And to think
I ran over here as a pal,
383
00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:04,908
offering you ideas
for the Cushman account.
384
00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:06,643
Larry, they're not
even in advertising.
385
00:19:06,644 --> 00:19:09,413
They just advertise
they're in advertising.
386
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,949
Well, what business are they in?
387
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,017
Money.
388
00:19:15,553 --> 00:19:17,688
I-it's a long story, Larry,
389
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,756
but that envelope I told
you about this morning
390
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:20,857
had money in it, and...
391
00:19:20,858 --> 00:19:24,428
You mean you took money
from them already?
392
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:27,131
I'll explain later.
393
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,899
I can give a bonus too.
394
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,101
How much money
was in that envelope?
395
00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:32,969
Larry, will you
let me explain later?
396
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:36,340
No, no. I'll give you
a 15 percent raise right now.
397
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:37,607
Forget it.
398
00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:40,477
I'm not leaving until
I know where we stand.
399
00:19:40,478 --> 00:19:42,413
Darrin...
400
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,916
Take it.
401
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:46,983
I'll take it.
402
00:19:46,984 --> 00:19:50,020
Larry, we were here first.
403
00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:52,623
And a $2500 bonus.
I'll take it.
404
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,858
Good.
405
00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:57,594
That'll teach you to try
to steal my employees.
406
00:19:57,595 --> 00:19:59,530
Sam.
407
00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:02,466
Ungh!
I'll see you tomorrow.
408
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,502
[
]
409
00:20:07,004 --> 00:20:09,404
You work for that fruitcake?
410
00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:11,308
Mm-hm.
411
00:20:11,309 --> 00:20:13,877
Well, shall we proceed?
412
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:15,913
Without a doubt.
413
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:18,415
Well, Sam, get them the money.
414
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:22,720
Okay, but you'll
have to turn around.
415
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,522
I don't want you to see
where my hiding place is.
416
00:20:25,523 --> 00:20:28,558
Let's turn around.
417
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:31,161
You too.
It's her hiding place.
418
00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:32,663
Right.
419
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,034
Gentlemen.
420
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:41,038
I'm having a little trouble
421
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:43,641
remembering where
my hiding place is.
422
00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:48,136
Would this, uh, jog your memory?
423
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,280
Oh, now, wait a minute.
424
00:20:50,281 --> 00:20:51,749
Lady, the boys don't like
425
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,184
having their collections
tampered with.
426
00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:55,986
The boys?
427
00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:57,353
The boy...
428
00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:59,423
We want our money,
and we want it now.
429
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,792
Would you consider a check?
430
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:03,727
I'm gonna count to three.
431
00:21:03,728 --> 00:21:06,096
Sam, give them the money.
432
00:21:06,097 --> 00:21:09,900
I'm counting. One, two...
433
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:11,367
[MAGIC CHIMES]
434
00:21:16,474 --> 00:21:18,776
Hey, what's going on here?
435
00:21:21,512 --> 00:21:24,047
Something weird's happening.
436
00:21:24,048 --> 00:21:27,151
Lady, did you do
something sneaky?
437
00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:28,852
[MAGIC CHIMES]
438
00:21:28,853 --> 00:21:30,687
[SIREN WAILING]
439
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:35,859
MAN: Okay, we know you're
in there, Kosko, Braun.
440
00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:38,328
Come out with your hands up.The house is surrounded.
441
00:21:38,329 --> 00:21:39,429
[MAGIC CHIMES]
442
00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:41,398
[SIRENS WAILING]
443
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,669
Sounds like the whole
police force is outside.
444
00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:46,970
[MAGIC CHIMES]
445
00:21:46,971 --> 00:21:51,041
MAN:
Come on out, Kosko, Braun.
446
00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:53,777
Gladly. Anything to get
out of this crazy place.
447
00:21:53,778 --> 00:21:55,545
We're coming peacefully.
448
00:21:57,848 --> 00:21:59,549
See? We're unarmed.
449
00:22:01,252 --> 00:22:04,120
[
]
450
00:22:05,723 --> 00:22:09,660
You know something, Kosko?
I think we're going bananas.
451
00:22:10,728 --> 00:22:14,164
[SIREN WAILING]
452
00:22:14,165 --> 00:22:17,134
[
]
453
00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:28,545
Oh, am I glad you
fellas happened by.
454
00:22:28,546 --> 00:22:30,747
We just didn't happen by.
455
00:22:30,748 --> 00:22:33,317
We heard all the sirens.
We thought something was up.
456
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,152
Like I always say,
457
00:22:35,153 --> 00:22:37,154
police are always around
when you need them.
458
00:22:37,155 --> 00:22:39,422
Officer, these gentlemen
459
00:22:39,423 --> 00:22:43,793
are members of some boys' club
who make collections.
460
00:22:43,794 --> 00:22:46,764
Maybe you'd like to see
what they've collected.
461
00:22:48,499 --> 00:22:50,899
And you seemed
like such a nice lady.
462
00:22:52,069 --> 00:22:55,239
Officer, we didn't
do nothing, honest.
463
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,800
Who said you did
anything honest?
464
00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:02,679
Hey, there's a lot of loot here.
465
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,415
Come on. Let's go downtown
and do a lot of talking.
466
00:23:05,416 --> 00:23:06,283
Come on.
467
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,251
[
]
468
00:23:10,988 --> 00:23:14,224
Sweetheart, I'll never
doubt you again.
469
00:23:14,225 --> 00:23:16,660
And I'm sorry for the...
470
00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:19,129
It was all part
of a master plan.
471
00:23:19,130 --> 00:23:20,931
Master plan?
Yes.
472
00:23:20,932 --> 00:23:22,900
To give Larry a reason
for offering you
473
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:26,804
a 15 percent raise
and a $2500 bonus.
474
00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:28,639
Is that true?
475
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,542
No. But it would have
been rather clever.
476
00:23:32,543 --> 00:23:34,478
[
]
477
00:23:40,651 --> 00:23:44,254
All right, Larry, all right.
If you insist.
478
00:23:44,255 --> 00:23:45,822
See you in the morning.
479
00:23:47,625 --> 00:23:50,060
Is that Larry Tate
a beautiful person?
480
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,496
Is he one of the great
people of the world?
481
00:23:52,497 --> 00:23:54,531
I told him the truth
about Kosko and Braun.
482
00:23:54,532 --> 00:23:56,333
And do you think
he'd back down on the raise
483
00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:57,500
and the six-week vacation?
484
00:23:57,501 --> 00:23:59,269
He would.
He did.
485
00:23:59,270 --> 00:24:01,605
Because you're
a yo-yo.
486
00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:04,574
Well, the bad fairy
is here again.
487
00:24:04,575 --> 00:24:06,976
Mother, you missed
a fair share of excitement.
488
00:24:06,977 --> 00:24:08,845
Would I miss it?
489
00:24:08,846 --> 00:24:11,982
Figures. Snoopy
wouldn't miss a thing.
490
00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:16,019
But dum-dum here has
the brain of a dropout guppy.
491
00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:18,322
Why did you tell
Larry Tate the truth?
492
00:24:18,323 --> 00:24:20,257
He need never have known.
493
00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:21,892
Darrin would know.
494
00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:23,359
Ick, ick, ick.
495
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,829
It's an act of sheer stupidity.
496
00:24:27,598 --> 00:24:32,102
Maybe it was stupid,
but I love him for it.
497
00:24:33,404 --> 00:24:35,138
What?
498
00:24:35,139 --> 00:24:39,075
Oh. Oh, sweetheart,
you know what I didn't mean.
499
00:24:44,248 --> 00:24:47,250
[
]
500
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:51,850
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