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1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,594
Good morning, everyone.
Ron Carlson here with the news...
2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,030
...brought to you
every morning by Scrub.
3
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,752
-Hi, honey.
-I thought you'd left.
4
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,393
Oh, why? It's early.
5
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,994
I have a feeling
Mother's going to drop in.
6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,952
It's late.
7
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,634
Just a minute. She promised
the next time she came...
8
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,673
-...she'd let me know in advance.
-And now a special announcement:
9
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,030
Darrin Stephens of this city
will receive a visit...
10
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,878
...from his mother-in-law today.
11
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:31,909
That's what you call...
12
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,715
-...letting me know in advance?
-You didn't specify how far in advance.
13
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,195
This is for you, darling.
14
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,550
-Who's it from?
-Ticheba.
15
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,194
-Oh, my goodness.
-Tiche-who?
16
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,550
Ticheba. She's....
17
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,035
-Oh, my goodness.
-What does she say?
18
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,549
She said....
19
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,911
-Oh, my goodness.
-Stop saying that and tell me.
20
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:56,359
She's coming for a visit.
21
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,879
Oh, my goodness.
22
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,193
Look, honey, if it's going to upset you,
just tell this Ticheba not to come.
23
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:04,799
Not to come?
24
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,317
That's the funniest thing
you've ever said.
25
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,674
-Nobody tells Ticheba anything.
-Why not? Who is she?
26
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,518
Queen of the witches
or something?
27
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,631
-That is right.
-That's right.
28
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,398
Ask a silly question....
29
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,114
Well, sweetheart, you'll like her.
30
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,594
Once you get used to her.
31
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,236
She likes things her own way
and will brook no denial.
32
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,477
-I suppose that's natural for a queen.
-Exactly.
33
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,477
-What's your excuse?
-Darrin!
34
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,749
Samantha, I will not stand here
and be insulted...
35
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,396
...by something
which is 94 percent water.
36
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,272
-Mother!
-Oh, yeah?
37
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,392
What about something
which is 100 percent hot air?
38
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,910
Darrin, would you please
try and control yourself?
39
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,912
You may rise.
40
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:17,873
Very nice.
41
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,753
-Very nice indeed.
-Oh, well....
42
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,714
-Thank you, Your Majesty.
-Where is the main house?
43
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,159
I'm afraid this is it.
44
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,430
Really?
45
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,157
If you don't mind,
I think I'd prefer my own chair.
46
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,112
Of course not, Your Majesty.
47
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,556
Now, just a minute.
48
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,879
Yes?
49
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,875
I forgot the question.
50
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:09,152
-How long is she gonna be here?
-Well, I don't know, sweetheart.
51
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,713
Well, it doesn't matter.
52
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,354
As long as she's gone
by the time I get home.
53
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:14,993
Well, I'm leaving.
54
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,679
Splendid!
55
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,271
Come here, my dear.
56
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:30,229
My dear, I have decided to abdicate.
57
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,797
And you have been chosen
to serve in my place.
58
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,234
In your place?
59
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,991
Tomorrow night, a universal coven
will witness your coronation.
60
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,433
-What?
-Oh, my dear!
61
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,552
-Mother!
-My little girl, Queen of the Witches.
62
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,991
-But I can't believe it.
-Oh, my baby!
63
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,509
One of the chosen few.
64
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,429
Well, I'm honoured, Your Majesty,
more than words can express.
65
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,753
And I can't accept it.
66
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,953
I beg your pardon.
67
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,958
I know what's bothering her.
It's Dumbo.
68
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,188
Well, that's hardly a problem.
69
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,710
I'll turn him into something suitable,
like a doormat.
70
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:15,909
No!
71
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,317
If you will show me my room,
I'd like to rest.
72
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,351
Right this way, Your Majesty.
73
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,676
Now, please, let me try
and explain, Your Majesty.
74
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,714
You see, when I married Darrin,
I promised I wouldn't use witchcraft.
75
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,559
Now, he's been very understanding
up until now...
76
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,320
...but he'd never understand this.
77
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:38,116
Your Majesty, I can't be queen.
I'm married to a mortal...
78
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,629
...and I have a child and a house
to take care of.
79
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,958
One thing you must do is find quarters
more suitable for a queen.
80
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,072
Perhaps you'd like some
of your own furniture up here.
81
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,236
That might help.
82
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,639
There, now, that's better.
83
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,196
Your Majesty, do you understand?
84
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,709
It's a bit crowded, isn't it?
85
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,638
You're not listening to me,
Your Majesty.
86
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,479
Of course I am.
I heard every word you said.
87
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,672
Your husband represents a problem,
and I have told you...
88
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,269
...I personally will
take care of Dumbo.
89
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,072
His name is Darrin.
90
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:19,068
Either way, you have no problem.
91
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,636
-What's beyond that wall?
-The master bedroom.
92
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,195
Then if you don't mind....
93
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,952
Your Majesty, I refuse to be queen.
94
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,391
We do our best,
but sometimes we fail.
95
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,558
Samantha, come with me.
96
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,750
Will you stop
making a fool of yourself?
97
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,599
When you've been selected queen,
our highest honour...
98
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,872
...you do not have the privilege
of turning it down. You must accept.
99
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,230
-But that's not fair.
-Why?
100
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,590
Well, I mean, it's all right
for other witches.
101
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,190
They don't have Darrin
to contend with, but l--
102
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,638
Mother, Darrin's simply
going to explode.
103
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,114
Good.
104
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,312
It'll save us the trouble
of turning him into a doormat.
105
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,953
Oh, you can joke.
106
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,994
You can joke, but I've gotta tell him.
I can just hear the explosion.
107
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,152
Queen?
108
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,396
Of the Witches?
109
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,955
What does that make me,
Prince Valiant?
110
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,799
-This is no joking matter.
-You're not kidding!
111
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,991
It's a great, great honour.
112
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,952
And it means a lot to me...
113
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,038
...and even more to Mother.
I can't refuse.
114
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:44,631
And what I think doesn't count? I'm just
a doormat around here, I suppose.
115
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,229
-Not yet.
-What?
116
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,228
I promise, you won't
be inconvenienced.
117
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,078
I won't.
118
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,478
Is this a sample
of what I can expect?
119
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,356
Oh, no, no, sweetheart.
120
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,597
Ticheba insisted upon
doing a little redecorating.
121
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,713
I'll change it as soon as she leaves.
She feels more at home this way.
122
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,956
Where does she live,
the Taj Mahal?
123
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,994
Darrin, try to understand.
Being queen is something that...
124
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,316
...every witch mother dreams of
for her girl...
125
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,318
...just as every American father
dreams that someday...
126
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,192
...his boy will be president.
127
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,515
If memory serves...
128
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,553
...no president has ever been a wife
and a mother, which you are.
129
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,115
How will you take care of your home
and your family?
130
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,833
Well, I've got that all worked out.
131
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:46,794
Whatever business does come up,
I'll just take care of it after midnight.
132
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,514
I just don't understand. Why you?
133
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,877
Yeah. Why me?
134
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,308
Well...
135
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,556
...it's sort of hard to explain.
136
00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,875
Try.
137
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,158
Well, certain witches
are chosen at birth.
138
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,152
When you've been selected,
you must serve. You have no choice.
139
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,115
Then it really doesn't matter
what I think.
140
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,151
Not really.
141
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,596
In that case, what can I say?
142
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:22,078
Oh, Darrin,
I knew you'd understand.
143
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,595
All hail Ticheba, our queen.
144
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,436
You may rise.
145
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:10,796
This universal coven I do convene.
146
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,072
Its purpose, you know,
to crown a queen...
147
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,829
...to rule all witchdom
from this point hence.
148
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,837
If all be present...
149
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,555
...let the oath-taking commence.
150
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,430
Samantha, gentle
151
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,358
Samantha, fair
152
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,597
Before your peers
Assembled here
153
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,791
Are you ready now to take
154
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,514
The oath of office of which I spake?
155
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,835
I am.
156
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,271
Let the bearers of
The Book of Rites draw near
157
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:11,439
And as I read, let all give ear
158
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,319
These words I read, say after me
159
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,149
And weigh each one most carefully
160
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:24,273
I, Samantha, do solemnly swear
161
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,598
In accepting the crown
To hold it dear
162
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,155
I, Samantha, do solemnly swear
163
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,430
In accepting the crown
To hold it dear
164
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:37,189
To be faithful and never to forsake
165
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,119
The holy office which I take
166
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,550
To be faithful and never to forsake
167
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,955
The holy office which I take
168
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,869
To preserve, protect
And to defend
169
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,992
The laws of witchdom to the end
170
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,033
To preserve, protect
And to defend
171
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,674
The laws of witchdom to the end
172
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,476
But only after midnight, please.
173
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,116
You see, I promised my husband
And he'd flip his lid
174
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,073
I'm trying to rhyme
So please do as I bid
175
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,598
Long live Queen Samantha.
176
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,189
Long live Queen Samantha.
177
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,119
Long live Queen Samantha.
178
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:25,029
Long live Queen Samantha.
179
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,832
Who's there?
180
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,478
Who's there?
181
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,116
I have an appointment
with Her Majesty.
182
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:48,995
Downstairs.
183
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,509
Why are you disguised as a bird?
184
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,233
What disguise?
185
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,510
So I've been made
a committee of one to petition...
186
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,995
...Your Majesty for pardon
for all of us.
187
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,873
-Are there many of you?
-I'd hate to tell you how many.
188
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,911
Ticheba had a pretty short fuse,
you know.
189
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,759
One wrong word and bingo,
we were transformed.
190
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,393
Well, l--
191
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,869
Darrin, don't tell me we woke you.
192
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,559
All right, I won't tell you.
193
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,512
I always get up
at 3:00 in the morning.
194
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,870
Forgive me for not waiting in line,
Your Majesty...
195
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,957
...but could you spare
a moment of your time?
196
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,310
Certainly. You may withdraw.
197
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,878
Look, tomorrow morning
I've got a meeting with a man...
198
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,470
...who is the president of one of the
largest steel companies in the country.
199
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,878
Now, his advertising account is worth
over $8.5 million in billing.
200
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:59,551
If I can swing him over to our agency,
they've got to give me a bonus.
201
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,909
-Or at least make me a partner.
-Well, that's wonderful, sweetheart.
202
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,669
It won't be if I fall asleep
during that meeting.
203
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,835
Most of this activity is caused by
the changeover in administration.
204
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,510
-It'll taper off, you'll see.
-It better taper and soon.
205
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,678
I'm gonna get myself
a glass of milk.
206
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,588
You can tell your friends
I'll pardon them all.
207
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,395
You will? Oh, thank you,
Your Majesty. Thank you.
208
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,672
Tell them to assemble
here tomorrow...
209
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,711
...but remember, not before 12.
210
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,751
Thank you.
211
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,189
-Here you are, Mr. Rohrbach.
-Thank you.
212
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,119
-Sweetheart?
-Thank you, honey.
213
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,151
These crabmeat things
are delicious.
214
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,078
Oh, well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
215
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,554
I just threw them together.
216
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,070
If you'll excuse me,
I have another batch in the oven.
217
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,996
Well, I like what I see, Stephens.
The house, good taste...
218
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,430
-...without ostentation.
-Thank you, sir.
219
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,074
Your wife's gonna fit into
the Rohrbach family real well.
220
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,073
I'm glad you feel that way, sir.
221
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,950
It'll take a week to sever relations with
the company handling our account.
222
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,559
Heck, what's a week?
223
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,320
Maybe two weeks
at the outside, but--
224
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,912
What was that?
225
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,072
Pardon?
226
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,158
Didn't you just see a bird
fly through here?
227
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,953
What bird? It was probably
just a bird. A shadow.
228
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,632
-You need some ice?
-No, no, thanks.
229
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,592
I need some ice.
230
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,832
Fresh out of ice.
231
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:49,112
But I told you,
not until after 12 midnight.
232
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,357
Oh, 12 midnight.
233
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,390
Sam, get that bird
out of here and fast.
234
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,556
There's been a terrible
misunderstanding.
235
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,876
Wait'll you see
the misunderstanding we'll have.
236
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,749
I'll find out what's taking so long.
237
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,958
Leave before you end up
in a fricassee.
238
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,594
-Right.
-What's going on?
239
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,712
I told you to wait outside, didn't l?
240
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,714
Sam, do something.
241
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,912
You should've seen Rohrbach's face
when that bird flew in.
242
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,350
And I'll bet when he saw the chair--
243
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,150
Saw the chair? Holy mackerel!
244
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,630
How are you doing, sir?
245
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,319
A chair...
246
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:20,833
...just came in that door
and walked right through this hall.
247
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,910
Mr. Rohrbach, have you been:
248
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,193
I only had one.
249
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,709
And I know what I saw.
250
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,069
Think what you're saying.
251
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,953
A chair came through that door
and walked through this hall?
252
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,039
Well, a chair can't walk
any more than...
253
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,950
...a lamp can.
254
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,515
What kind of a place is this?
255
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,392
What are you referring to, sir?
256
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,559
I don't know what's going on,
but I don't want any part of it.
257
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,548
And I don't want any part of anybody
that's got any part of it.
258
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,508
Before you leave, sir,
what about your account?
259
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,915
What account?
260
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:19,676
All right, everybody off the fat guy,
and clear out till midnight.
261
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,596
Oh, Darrin, I'm sorry.
262
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,319
-Sam, I want you to abdicate.
-What?
263
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,635
I want you to quit!
264
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,669
But I can't.
I just took the oath of office.
265
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,197
Okay, you said you couldn't refuse
the crown. Okay!
266
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,029
So you accepted it. You've been
queen for a day. That's enough!
267
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,435
-No, it isn't.
-I say it is.
268
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,430
I have to serve for at least a year.
269
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,992
You didn't tell me that.
270
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,155
I didn't?
271
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,756
Well, I....
272
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,516
Well, I guess you didn't ask.
273
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,713
Oh, now, Darrin,
please be reasonable.
274
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,433
A year isn't very long.
275
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,995
You'll see how quickly it'll pass.
Then I'll quit.
276
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,919
In that case, call me in about a year.
277
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,838
-I'll be at Joe's.
-Joe's?
278
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,190
Joe's Bar and Grill.
279
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,920
I tell you, a man can take
just so much.
280
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,795
-Then he has got to walk.
-You're so right.
281
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,157
"It's just for a year," she says.
282
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,033
"Okay," I say.
"Call me in about a year.
283
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,276
I'll be at Joe's Bar and Grill."
284
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,038
I know how you feel.
285
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,435
I got a problem with my wife too.
286
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:38,959
Her mother.
287
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:43,358
With all due respect, friend,
your problem can't be as bad as mine.
288
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,791
-My wife is Queen of the Witches.
-She can't be.
289
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,798
My mother-in-law's got that job.
290
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,674
Samantha, it's almost midnight,
and the transformees will be arriving.
291
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,996
You should be getting
into your robes.
292
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,351
-I thought I heard a car.
-If he comes back, he comes back.
293
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,870
If he doesn't,
we'll open a bottle of champagne.
294
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,118
Well, I thought that was rather
a good idea.
295
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,478
Well, I'm just not going
to stand for it in my house.
296
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,830
If I have to,
I won't go home for a year.
297
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,110
It's just about a year
since I've been home.
298
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,515
I mean it, I....
299
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,438
-It is?
-I never should've told...
300
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,916
...my mother-in-law
to get out of the house.
301
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,111
She owns it.
302
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,028
You haven't seen your family
in all that time?
303
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,599
I went back once.
304
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,677
About six months ago.
305
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,313
My kid didn't recognize me.
306
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:53,630
And the dog bit me.
And he's my dog!
307
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,074
Comes in every night
and cries like that.
308
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,074
You know, pal, this job gives me
a chance to see...
309
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,157
...some pretty good observations.
310
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:08,433
Now, he thinks his mother-in-law's
a holy terror...
311
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,029
...and you think your wife's
Queen of the Witches.
312
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,069
But if the truth be it known...
313
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,272
...they all got their good points.
Right, pal?
314
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,230
They sure do, pal.
315
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,077
They sure do.
316
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,069
Hi.
317
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,793
Say....
318
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,869
You missed all the excitement.
She was sensational.
319
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,036
The incantation was beautiful.
320
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,437
And, you know, she actually produced
a little fire and brimstone.
321
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,428
Haven't seen that in ages.
322
00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:00,114
And then she touched each one of us
with her sceptre and presto...
323
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,993
...we were all back
to our original form.
324
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,394
Is that better?
325
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,990
You know, I'm gonna miss
being a bird.
326
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,271
Samantha, bad news.
327
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:22,629
He's back.
328
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,718
Better hurry, Endora.
You'll be late for the monster rally.
329
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,993
Darrin.
330
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,396
Mother, don't you have
someplace to fly?
331
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,192
Sweetheart...
332
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,631
...now, don't you know that you're more
important to me than any old crown?
333
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,230
Now, I don't know
what's gonna happen if I resign.
334
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,317
No one's ever done it.
335
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,478
-But I'm going to.
-Honey...
336
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,635
...I've been doing some thinking too.
337
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,478
And I don't wanna
come home and find...
338
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,274
...that my child doesn't know me
and have the dog bite me.
339
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:00,708
What dog?
340
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,352
That's right, we don't have one.
341
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,313
Anyway, the thing I realized is that...
342
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,273
...your being queen
is part of what you are.
343
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,392
And if I love you enough,
I have to accept that.
344
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,717
Just the way you accept
certain things about my world.
345
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,957
So...
346
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,872
...I'm at your disposal, Your Majesty.
347
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,593
Rise, silly goose.
348
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,311
Oh, Darrin! Darrin, I'm terribly sorry.
349
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,399
Oh, it was a terrible mistake.
Darrin? Come back here.
350
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,318
Darrin. Darrin.
351
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,112
Oh, please. Darrin.
352
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,357
Please, if you'd just stand still,
then I could change you back.
353
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,393
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
Come on, come on.
354
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,716
Oh, please. Darrin, please.
355
00:23:50,766 --> 00:23:55,316
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