All language subtitles for A Perfect Couple (Robert Altman, 1979) ENG

Which one is she?

I'm sorry.
- Uh, which one is she?

Oh. Uh, the one in the middle with the short black hair.
- Oh.

She's the youngest cellist in the L.A.
- Oh.

The piano player is good, isn't she?
- Uh, yes. That's Mona.

She's Lousa's best friend. Well, we
call her "Lousa." Her name is Eleousa.

Elu...

Elicia-
- Lousa. Call her Lousa.

Try the wine. It's Mont Ambelos.
All right?

Now drink it slowly.
Just sip it so you get the full bouquet.

I hope it doesn't rain again.

Not a chance.
This is Los Angeles.

It never rains.
- Well, it rained this afternoon.

Come on. Drink it.

Now don't mind the harshness
of the herb.

That's, uh, retsina.
That gives it the flavor.

It's a lousy flavor,
but the Greeks have no taste.

So you're Greek.
I remember it was on your resume.

Well, my father was Greek...

which would normally make me half Greek.
but my mother was Greek too.

Actually, I got this recipe from my
favorite little Greek restaurant...

in Venice.
- Venice?

California. Venice, California.

I think I just heard thunder.
- That's probably your tummy growling.

No. I just saw lightning.

God.
- What?

it's God's way of ending the concert.
- Oh.

He's writing the way
for us to move on.

But this is my way
of dealing with him.

Ah.
- There we are. Oh.

I always call the weather
bureau before a picnic.

You go on a lot of picnics?
- Ah, first one, really.

Could you tell?
- Not really.

Hold the umbrella.
- Uh, how long has your sister played with this group?

Oh, about three years.

You know, she'd love that.
- What?

Calling them a "group."
- Oh.

I mean, orchestra.
- Yeah. - Three years, huh?

Oh, it'll be, uh, three, three and
a half years, something like that.

Put this in here. Good.

Don't get wet. I'll get this.

You all right? Where are you?
Oh. Okay.

Can you get that packed up?
- Yeah.

I guess that's out. Okay.

Oh!
- Okay. Go ahead. I'll follow you.

Where are you?

**

All right? Keep goin'.
It's okay. Keep goin'.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- It's okay. Stay there.

Think I lost a fork.

Stay under the umbrella. I want you to keep dry.
- I am.

Okay. We're fine. You all right?
- Yes

Now let me have the umbrella.
- All right.

What the hell is this?

Okay. Hold it right there.
- Okay.

You take the um- Give me that.
- Okay.

You hold the umbrella. Okay?
- All right.

Okay. Come over here now.
Come on over here.

Hold that over me.

Shit.

I-I got 'em.

Whoo!

Okay. Move around here.

Okay, fine.
Let me just get this out of the way.

Oh, I hope I don't lose my voice, and-
- Hold it up.

and I can't sing.
- What?

That's what happens to me when I get
a cold. I can't sing. I lose my voice.

Oh, that's right. You do sing. Yeah.
- Yeah.

That's one of the first things
that attracted me to you - your singing.

Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. I like singing.

You'd be better ofF if, uh... Let me get the key here.
- Yeah.

Better ofF if you, uh, had skin diving
for a hobby tonight. Here we are.

I'll get it.
I'll take that.

Right.

You sing just for the fun of it?
- Uh, no. Uh, y-yes.

I'm, uh, studying. Solfege?
- Okay.

Singing is good. Yeah.

Okay.

Whoo!

Oh, that's better.
That's better.

Okay. Here we go.

We're all set now.

Oh, n- My God.

Oh, my God.
Oh, this electrical system is all-

Jesus. Oh, wow.
- Oh, my God.

The sunroof is all jammed here. I can't-

Can't you get a blanket? It's gonna ruin everything.
- Oh, shit.

Uh- Oh, I'll tell ya...
Let me put this blanket...

around your shoulders, okay?

Wrap up in this.
It's kinda wet, but it'll keep you dry.

Here. Wait a minute.
I got an idea.

I got a good idea.
Here we go.

There. How's that?
Hold on to that...

and here we go.

God bless you.

We better get you home
and out of those wet clothes...

so you can, uh, still save your voice,
so you can say "yes."

It's gone. I lost it.

You lost your voice?
- No, the umbrella.

Oh.

This is-This is a lovely car.
What kind is it?

Uh, it's a Cadillac. It's a family car-
well, a company car.

I have another car for my own use,
but I like to use the big car...

when I go on a special occasion...

you know, like a -
like a first date.

Could- Could you turn the, uh, air conditioning down please?
- Oh, sure.

Aw, damn. That's jammed too.

I knew I should have
brought the other car.

Do you live near the Iron Gate?
- What?

Well, when you had me meet
you at the restaurant,

I thought maybe you lived nearby.

No. Um, I live downtown.
- Downtown, right?

Yeah. Little Tokyo, actually.
- Oh, Chinatown.

No, no. Little Tokyo.
It's... south of Chinatown.

Ah, all those neighborhoods
look alike to me.

There's a Greek neighborhood in L.A.,
but I don't live there.

Well, I'm not Japanese either.

I live with my roommates.
- Roommate's Japanese?

I thought you said on your application
that you, uh, lived alone.

It- I- It said I was alone.
I have some roommates.

How many?
- Um-That's Third Street.

Here?
- Yeah.

I'll tell you what it is
with American cars-

is, uh, they don't make 'em
to last, you know.

It's kinda their
built-in obsolescence.

Everything goes wrong about the time the payments are done.
- Yeah.

I wanna get a European car next time, you know?
- Yeah?

And a, uh, Greek car,
if they bring one out.

friend of mine has, um, a italian car.
It's a "Mafia".

You know, under the hood
there's a hood.

Oh, Ben, it's me, Sheila.

Okay. I guess this is us.

I'll come around
and let you out.

Madame.

Well-

It was- It was fun.

Good night.
- Um, this is where you live?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.
In the loft up there.

Looks like a shoe factory.
- No, it's gloves. We have the top floor.

Gloves, huh?
- Yeah.

Well, good night.

Wait a minute.
It's only 10:30.

Well, I know, but my roommate's home,
and I can't very well ask you in.

Oop. Here.
Let me help you up.

At least let me walk you
to your door.

Well, this is my door.

Good night.

Uh, wait a minute.

You said you lived
on the top floor?

Well, this is not your door.
- Well, I- I have to take the elevator up.

Yeah, well, I'll see you
to the elevator.

I'll get this.

Good night.

We got one of these at work.
I use it all the time.

Floors, please?

Ladies' Lingerie.

You look cold. Here.
Let me put my arm around you.

You're freezing.

We're here.

Good night.

Oh!

I'll call you tomorrow.

Hey, Sheila, how were the burritos?
- What burritos? Who had burritos?

Sheila's uncle's in from Kansas City,
and they went to have Mexican food.

Right?
- She looks like you went swimmin'instead.

**
- Where in the hell have you been?

We got caught in the rain.
- We had a rehearsal, you know.

Oh, hey, come on. She can't rehearse
in wet clothes, for God's sake.

Well, get her outta
the goddamn wet clothes.

All right. I'll get her outta
the goddamn wet clothes.

We got work to do, you know. Sometimes
I think I'm the only one around here

who's serious about what we're doin'.

We got two weeks,
you know- two weeks!

I am serious, Teddy.
- Yeah?

Well, you're not enough.

I didn't want to interrupt.

You're wet.
Where have you been?

At the bowl.
Concert. It rained.

Where is Eleousa?
- I don't know.

Well. if you were at the bowl. then
why didn't you bring her home with you?

Perhaps Alex was... not alone.

Of course, I was.

Hello, everyone.
- Eleousa. you're wet too.

Melpomeni, help her.
- Wilma, come help me.

Soaking wet.
- Who brought you home, Eleousa?

Eleousa. who brought you home?

Uh, Mona, Papa.
- Mona.

Hmm. I don't know why you wanna go
to the bowl in the first place, Alex.

You know. you can hear the same music here
on our stereo system and even better.

Uh, Costa's absolutely right.
You know how frail Eleousa is.

I asked her.
She said she'd arranged for a ride.

Alex. sometime you make me
ashamed to be your sister.

Alex. stay in your room.
i'll talk to you later.

Yes, sir.

Let's continue.

Sheila-
- Huh?

You won't believe it.
We've been waiting to tell you.

But please don't tell Teddy.
Cause if he finds out, he'll fire my ass.

Yeah. Right, right. Don't tell Teddy
because, uh, it's our secret...

for a while, anyhow.
- What?

Uh, it's about Syd and me.
- I'm gonna have a baby.

I mean, we're gonna have a baby.
- Yeah. Right.

What?

Yeah.
- We're gonna have a baby. Syd's pregnant - two months.

Come on. Show her.
- See? Can you see? Is it showing?

Isn't it great?

Wha-Well- How?
- Oh!

How!
- Oh. Um, it's Bobbi's.

Bobbi's the real father.
- Yes. Enter the culprit.

Speak of the devil.
- Remember that party that we had after the last session?

Well. Bobbi and i got into
Teddy's Demerara rum.

Oh, that's strong stufF.
- Yeah.

And all I remember is the next morning
I woke up, and I was in his bed.

Anyway, um, we're gonna keep it.
We're gonna

find our own house,
and we're gonna keep it.

We're gonna have our own baby.

W-Wait a minute.
What does Bob- What do you think about it?

I think it's interesting.
The whole thing's really interesting.

Actually, I should have been the mother.
- Don't worry, honey.

You soon will be after the kid's born.

Will you spit-tails get in here
and work on this song?

Sheila is wet!

Okay. from now on, i'm finin' ya five
bucks a minute, so take your sweet time.

Star, put the goddamn kid down
and get me a beer.

Boy it was really a downpour, wasn't it?
- Oh, yeah.

Everybody started running with their instruments except for Mona.
- Oh.

She stayed there playing her piano.

They had to come and
tell her it was raining.

Oh, yeah. Well, the rain didn't...

do my first date any good.
- Oh, how was it?

Well, considering everything, it was pretty good.
- Hey, what's her name?

Uh, Sheila 312.

I'm just restless, you know?
And-And, uh-

Also, I just- I really am
at a point in my life where I- I-

I wanna meet somebody and-
and- and, um, share some experiences...

with someone who's preferably...
experienced, you know?

I mean, who's, like-
who knows a lot about life.

Well, I, uh...
Yeah. I do wanna meet someone.

I'm interested in having a
relationship that's, uh...

um, well,
I don't like to say "meaningful, "

because everybody says "meaningful"...

and, uh- but-
but that's what it is, really.

I-

All right.
Who's got the goddamn cold?

Not I.
Not I.

Mary?
- Not I. - Let's see that moon.

Sydney?
- I don't get colds.

Well, that leaves me standin'
here lookin' at you, doesn't it?

The moon? No, the other one.

What the hell you doin'
rehearsin' with a cold?

You know I don't want you
rehearsin' with colds.

You're gonna spread it
around the whole band.

You're gonna cost
us days of rehearsal.

I don't have a cold.
I have a sniffle, and that's all.

That's all I have.
- That's 50 bucks.

I want you to go home right now.
I want you to get rid of the sniffles.

Whatever you gotta do,
get rid of 'em.

Let's take it from the top, okay?
Where is she? Star?

Star, get rid of the goddamn kid. And
I want you over here singin' this part.

Come on.
- One, two...

one, two, three, four-

This is our viewing room.

The men's cassettes are here,
and their books are right here.

Now the first thing you are going to do
is look through the books.

first name only.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.
- Now will I be able to find a non-smoking vegetarian?

You- Remember I told you, you speak
for yourself, and you chose for yourself.

All the vital statistics and lifestyle- everything is here.
- Mm-hmm.

And you just... read it and find out what's goin' on.
- A doctor.

No. I mean, someone can be very mature
and be, you know, young...

or vice versa, but, uh...
- I agree with that. "Mature."

I guess I lean towards older men.
I also like-

I like men with... moustaches.

Moustache.
Extra bonus.

That's important.
- Yeah. Strength of character.

And when you find him. what'll happen?
- What'll happen?

Mm-hmm-between the two of you.
- I don't know.

What are you gonna do
when he finds out?

What?

What are you gonna do when Papa
finds out about you and Shirley?

Sheila. - Sheila.
- Sheila Shea. - Sheila Shea.

Well. there's nothing
to find out.

We've only had one date.
- Alex.

Well, that's his problem.
I'm gonna take a stand on this.

Are you feeling all right, Eleousa?
- I feel fine, Papa.

Don't you have an appointment
with your doctor?

Oh, yes. I'm-
I'm on my way.

Alex, aren't you going to drive
your sister to her appointment?

Oh. no. Mona's taking me.
She'll meet me here.

Mona.
- Mona.

My friend Mona. It's okay.
- Cathy, line 10, please.

I'll be on my way. Have a good day, both of you.
- Cathy. line 10.

Don't work too hard.

She's sick, Alex, very sick.

I realize that.
- I'm afraid she won't be with us much longer.

Ew!

Ew! Still juicy.

Sheila, you got somethin'
I could wear?

Jesus, I'm late. Teddy fined me 15 bucks
'cause I was late last time.

How much he chargin' you for your cold?
- $25 every time I miss rehearsal.

Oh, God! I'll get that on my way out.

I'm takin' this.

Come on, Ward.
Come on. Come on.

Yes.

Is Sheila Shea there?
- Sheila is in bed.

Can she talk?
- Sheila. can you talk?

Who is it?
- Alex Theodopoulos.

It's Alex, uh, Papas- uh-

Oh, wait a minute, tell him.
- She says to wait a minute.

i'm gone.! Toodle-oo.
Come on. Ward.

Hello?
- Sheila 312?

This is Alex 207.
Sleeping late, huh?

No, no. I've got a cold.
- Damn. You know that's my fault- that stupid Cadillac.

I tell you what. I'm on my way over there,
and I've got a surefire cold remedy.

No, no, you can't.
- Don't argue. Consider it done. I'm comin' right over.

Hi.

Listen. Um, I don't think you should
be here. You're gonna catch my cold.

Oh, no.
I've come to cure your cold.

Just think of me as a Jewish mother
with a Greek remedy.

Boy, this is a big place.
How many people live here?

A few.

Boy, look at that. Wh-What's all
the baby stufF for? Are you a-

N-No. No. One of my roommates has a child.
- Oh.

Thought you were a mother.
- No.

What is that-
a nightclub or something?

No. It's where we rehearse,
uh, sometimes.

Are you in a show or something?
- No. I'm with a group.

Oh.

Wow. "Keepin' 'Em ofF the Streets."
What does that mean?

Oh, it's the name
of the group.

Is that you? Boy, you lost a lot of weight
since that picture was taken.

No, no, no. That's the girl
I'm replacing. She's a star now.

She does singles.
- Single, huh?

That's a condition a lot of us
are concerned with these days.

You get paid for singing?
- Sometimes. It's how I live.

You all live here together,
do you?

I don't see any doors.
- What's in the purse?

Oh. Uh- It's a cure for the
common cold- a sure cure.

It's Greek.
- What-What's in it?

It's hot wine
with noodles in it.

I'm not very hungry right now.

Well, it's not to eat. It's to drink.
Sit down.

It's very good for you.

Okay?

Now, you drink it. I wanna make
sure you're well on Saturday night.

Well, what's-what's Saturday?

That's our second date.
Now don't worry.

I've called the weather bureau,
and they guaranteed me no rain.

No, I'm s- I can't. I'm- I'm working.
- At night?

Yes. I'm rehearsing
to 8:30, maybe later.

What's wrong with 8:30?

Look, drink up. Okay?

I feel much better.
I think you better go.

What about Saturday night?
- Um-

Uh, I have a rain check here.
- Well, next- next Saturday.

Look. I'm not gonna leave here
until you say yes.

Okay.
- Okay.

What's the matter?

It's this cold. I feel-
don't feel very pretty.

Excuse me.

All right. I'll pick you up Saturday.
8:30 sharp.

No! No.

Hold it. Hold it.

it's got to come down there.
- Jim? Jim?

Do you know what time it is?
- it's a comedown to the vocals.

Yeah. It's 8:25.

Classical]

Athena, where are Eleousa and Alex?

I'm sorry I'm late.

I'd like to be excused from
dinner. Um, I have plans.

Plans?
- It's business.

Business on Saturday night?

Yes, Athena.
Business on Saturday night.

You'll have to change your plans, Alex.

After dinner we have
a family matter to dispose of.

it has to do with Penelope.
- But i have a-

Take your place, Alex.

Yes, sir.

Now what's the problem?

Uh, it's just about
Penelope's college.

i don't see why i- i can't go to Oregon
instead of Santa "Barber."

One school's as good as the other.
- What's wrong with Santa Barbara?

I went to Santa Barbara.
Lousa went to Santa Barbara.

Alex, Athena-
We all went to Santa Barbara.

i don't wanna go
to Santa "Barber"..

and I don't see why I have to.
- Penelope...

Perhaps I can state the case
a bit more objectively than you can.

We've always wanted
Penelope to go to Santa

Barbara when she
graduated from high school.

Well, now she's graduated
from high school.

And now she's...
changed her mind.

Perhaps to discover why.
we should ask...

why she has changed her mind.

Why have you changed your mind,
Penelope?

i think i would be happier in Oregon.

But you'll be farther away from home.
- She has to move away sometime.

Papa, I think-
- Eleousa-

Your happiness is a speculation.

It's not something you know. It's, uh,
something you think. Is that not true?

No, Grandpapa.
It's something I know.

How?
- Uh...

perhaps Penelope has met a boy.

Perhaps the boy
is going to Oregon.

Perhaps Penelope
wants to be with this boy?

I have met no boy.
Who is this boy, Melpomeni?

How can she have met a boy
and not have brought him to me?

Melpomeni?

Is this true?

Yes. It's-
It's true, Papa.

Eleousa. Eleousa.

Eleousa. are you all right?

I feel fine, Pa.

Are you sure?

Gotta get the ending.
Gotta get the ending together.

We'll deal with it Monday.

We gotta finish this tonight. guys.
i'm sorry.

We've been workin'hard.
i know we gotta finish it tonight.

if it takes all night.
we're gonna do it tonight.

Okay, okay, okay.
You got 10 minutes. Ten minutes.

Make phone calls. Do whatever you have to.
- Take the baby.

Sure. Hi, sweetheart. Take this
beer, will you? You got that?

Ten minutes. If it takes all night,
we're gonna do this song.

Teddy-
- Yeah?

It's okay. It's okay.
- Uh, I have- I have a really important appointment.

Um, tonight.
- An appointment?

Yeah. It's very important, and I'm
not singing in this song anyway, so-

Yes. You're singing.
- No. I'm not singing. I'm sitting over there.

Okay. You're important
whether you're singin' or not, okay?

There are no individuals in this band.
It's all a unit.

And whether you're singin' or not,
I want you here when we rehearse.

If you got somethin' to do-
- It's really impor-

Make yourself a phone call. Get out of it.
I want you back in 10 minutes.

That be $1.50.
You park and lock it up yourself.

I'm just gonna be here a couple
of minutes. I'm picking someone up.

Still $1.50.
- Right.

Here you go. Thanks.

All Right Parking. Ben All Right speaking.
- Ben?

Who wants him?
- Sheila Shea.

So?
- It's me, Sheila, from the loft?

Oh, yeah. Sheila Straight.

Listen.
A guy is supposed to pick me up tonight...

so could you
give him a message?

Yeah. Wait a minute. Let me get a pencil. I wanna write this down.
- Okay.

Damn it.

I'm gonna use your telephone, okay?
- Yeah, pay phone, right here.

Right.

You got a pencil?
- You got one right there in your pocket.

Okay. What's the message?

Okay. Um,
I've got a date with this guy-

I don't know whether he- he's
been there yet, but- - Wha-What-

He drives a gray Cadillac with a sunroof.
- Gray Cad, sun.

Yeah.
- Nope. Nothin' to that description.

Well, listen. When he
comes in, tell him I got

tied up, and ask him to
call me at this number:

Yeah.
- Okay. 555-

555-
-66-

66-
-14.

14. Okay.
- Yeah. - Jesus Christ.

Now look. Don't worry.
Gray Cadillac with sunroof.

If he comes in, I'll give him the number. I'll have him call ya. Right?
- Okay.

Slow, Bluesy]

Hi, Helen.
- Oh, Hi, Sheila. How are you?

Um, fine. Can I have my activity sheet?
- Oh, sure.

Tell me. How did it work with Alex?
- It didn't.

Hmm.

Well, here.
I want you to look at Dana 115.

Mr. Horton. line seven.

Mr. Horton, line seven, please.

You like pianos?

Sometimes.
- That's a very nice instrument.

It needs a good tuning.

Anything at all
I can help you with?

No, thank you.
I'm waiting for someone.

Well, if he doesn't show up,
uh, perhaps, um...

we could have a little bite to eat
across the street.

Nice restaurant over there.

It's a... she, and she'll be here soon.
- Oh.

My name is Alex.

What's yours?
- Mona.

Lousa.
- I see you've met my brother Alex.

Uh, yes.
- Sort of.

Just met.
- Yes. This is Alex, and this is Mona.

Hi.
- Didn't recognize you. I've seen her on the stage so many times.

I just didn't connect it.

That's okay.
It always happens.

Okay. We're gonna go to lunch?
- Right. Um, can you wait a few minutes?

I need to talk to Alex for a moment, okay?
- Sure. Sure.

Do you have time?
- Sure.

You know. Alex. i-

What qualities do you look for in a woman?

Um, every time I answer that question,
it sounds like a cliche.

So to be not cliche...
Uh, no. You have to be cliched.

You just want
someone that's honest.

How does it feel to be in love?

The only way I remember being in love was
there was a- a lump.

Yeah. There was a lump.

Uh. do you ever get physically upset?
- No. no.

No. I'm not, uh-
I don't have a bad temper or anything.

I'm, um, pretty sensitive about things,
but, you know, I respond by-

I guess I- I try to keep it inside-
try and keep it, you know-

So you kind of err...
- I might get in the car and beep the horn...

or yell, but that's about it.

Have you told Papa
about your girl yet?

I don't have a girl.
- What do you mean? I-

She stood me up.
- Oh.

Anyway, you can't trust those goddamn musicians.
- Hey.

No. I don't mean you and Mona.
I mean popular musicians.

Well, that's what I want to talk to you about.
- What?

Me and Mona.
- What about it?

Alex, I want to move out of the house.
I wanna move in with Mona.

Why?
- I wanna be independent.

I don't wanna end up like Athena and the rest of them.
- You mean like me.

No, Alex. Not like you.

Papa will disown me.

i love him.

But i have to live my own life.

Will you help me?
- How?

i can't even help myself.

I told you to use the front steps.

You're sort of early,
you know. I'm not ready.

What are you doing here?
Look. I'm expecting company. I have plans.

Uh, beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
- You have to leave.

I've decided to overlook Saturday night.
I forgive you.

And you and I are going to go O-U-T
to-gether to-night. Nobody home, huh?

Well, I haven't forgotten
Saturday night.

You certainly did Saturday.
- Oh, not me. I beg to difFer with you.

I was here. I-
I was a little bit late...

but I was on time,
and you weren't here at all.

Damn it. I told the parking lot attendant
to tell you that I was gonna be late.

He didn't tell me.
You certainly didn't come home at all...

because I was out there
till 4:00 in the morning.

That's a lie, because I was home at 10:30.
- Oh, yeah?

Well, that happens to
be a lie. This whole

damn thing is based on
lies-your goddamn lies.

Don't scream at me.
- Misrepresentation, that's all it is, with a capital "R."

Or "M." I don't know how the hell
I ever got into this anyway.

It's all lies. Goddamn video machines,
the goddamn cameras. They're all lies.

You know, they tell lies on television.

Hi!
- Who's this?

Hi. Am I early?
- Uh, it's my date.

No. You're right on the dot.
- Here you go.

Oh.
Now you got two of them.

I see you saw the same kid
with the flowers on the corner.

Yeah. Th-The little kid?
Yeah. I saw him. Yeah.

Uh. A-A-Alex 207. this is Dana 115.

Pleased to meet you, sir.
- I'm almost ready. Where are we going?

We're gonna go to
this terrific little

Greek restaurant I know in Venice.
- Venice?

California.
- Goddamn it. That's my restaurant.

What do you mean, "your restaurant?"
I mean, what is-

Yeah, he's- he's just leaving. Aren't you?
- Oh, great. Okay.

No. You're just leaving.
Right this way, sir.

Now wait a minute. We are goin' out, right?
- Excuse me, sir.

It's not "sir." No. It's Dana.
- I don't care. I'm gonna take her out tonight.

No. We have a date tonight.

I think you'll find the
elevator is a lot quicker if...

No. Wait a minute. Now- Now, we have
a date tonight. We are going out.

You don't understand. We
have been going together

a while now.
- I understand. We are going out.

She probably lied to you too, because we have a date!
- She didn't lie to me.

You're not wanted here. This happens to be
my evening- - Wait a minute. I have a date.

We are going out.
- Sir, will you please go to the elevator and leave?

Don't call me "sir." It's Dana. And don't pull me around.
- How 'bout a push then?

Do not push me.
Don't ever push me.

Don't touch me. Don't push me.
- I'll push you if I wanna.

No. Don't push me. Do not push me.
I'll push you back.

No. Plea- Please.
- I will push you back.

Don't do that, because if I get mad,
I will hit, and if I-

Ah, I am getting very angry. Do not-
- Now you're pushing me!

Yes, I'll push you again. I'll-
- If I can't push you, how come you-

Push you and I will push and I'll-
I'm giving-

I'm gonna hit you real soon.
I'm gonna pop you one.

Let's-

Stop! Stop it.

Stop it!
- Goddamn. no.!

Jesus Christ. What'd ya do?

Holy shit.
What'd ya hit him with?

A poker.

You don't even have a fireplace.

Oh, my God.

Whew.

That comfortable?

You oughta leave that on for a couple
days. I hope it doesn't embarrass you.

Respiratory therapy-

Some people are self-conscious
about the way they look.

Anyway, it's nothing.
It's a scratched eyeball.

How did it happen?

Doctor. do you have time
to stitch up a patient's head?

Wound's in the back. It's all cleaned up.
- Yeah. Why not?

Climb right up here.
Put your head down here.

Take a look at it.

Oh, you got a nasty cut there. How did it happen?
- Poker-

Car door.
- Hmm.

Uh, excuse me.

Here's your prescription for some
painkillers Dr. Hathaway ordered.

Uh, be sure to check back with him
in a few days.

I'll never forgive myself.
I don't even remember what happened.

Doesn't look like a car door.
It looks more like a poker or something.

Ouch!
- God, you're so brave. I usually faint at the sight of blood.

My ex-wife used to do that.

Most of these things
are the result of domestic quarrels.

Mmm, that's right. You were
married before. Huh, I forgot.

Well, we were only married
12 years.

But she had these fainting spells.
and, um, she spent most ofher time in bed.

I really didn't see
that much of her.

What happened?
- A jazz musician.

Ran away with a saxophone player.

My wife plays the saxophone.

She plays classical music.
It gives her something to do.

You know, his sister is with the L.A.
Philharmonic. She... She plays the cello.

Oh, I didn't mean she was with an
orchestra. She plays to records.

Yeah. my father does that.

Only, he conducts. Ow.

Probably ought to stay in bed for a while.
Do you want some painkillers?

Yes.
- No.

Some doctors
don't give out painkillers...

but when you've seen as much pain as
i have. it makes you want to kill it.

I don't think you two should be kissing
while I'm suturing.

I'm sorry.

How'd she meet a saxophone player
if she was in bed all the time?

slow folk Pop]

You sure you're all right?
- I'm fine.

You know, it's the first time a girl ever
hit me with a poker to get me into bed.

That's not funny.
I could've killed you.

That's okay. It would've been worth it.

I think I must love you.

i don't believe it. man.
i really don't believe it.

free lunch?
No such thing as a free lunch.

What's that?
- Oh, God.

Somebody's out there.
- They were supposed to be gone all night.

They went to a press concert
for a punk rock group.

Hey, take the goddamn kid.
Tony!

We got work to do on, uh, "Good-bye friends."
- Yeah.

Oh.
- You all right? Here, wait. I'll get my fan.

Oh, why do I always get
morning sickness at night?

Sydney, you're pregnant.
You're going to get that all the time.

What if we, uh-

What if we try her singin',
uh, the melody line. Just straight melody.

And then Bobbi can-

And bring those beers.!

What a band. man. i dug the medley. man.
when they did "Search and Destroy"..

and "The Love Theme from
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre".

Uh. wait a minute.

Sydney! Sydney, can you come in here?
I need to use your voice a minute.

Oh, come on! No! No, she can't come.
She's not feeling very well.

I don't care. Tell her to come in here.
I need some help.

What's the matter with her?
- Morning sickness.

They're gonna have a baby.
- They?

Yeah. Mary and Sydney.
- Which one is he?

No, no. Sydney's a girl.
They're both girls.

Th-They live together. They're in love.
They're very happy.

Well, Bobbi's the father.
But he doesn't like girls, see?

Well, it was an accident.

It happened because they got into Teddy's
Demerara rum one night at a party.

It's- It's working out really great,
only Teddy doesn't know.

About the baby or the rum?
- The baby.

Which one is Teddy?
- Oh, he's over there.

He's the one with the hat.
- Oh.

That's his wife. Star.
and his daughter. Heaven.

He works all the time.

Who are all these other people?
- Oh, that's the band.

One, two, three!

They're probably loaded.

Don't you think we better get outta here?
- Where'll we go?

We can go to my house.

You said at the hospital
we couldn't.

Well, now we can.

It's better than staying here
with all these freaks!

They're my friends.
They won't bother us.

They bother me. Come on.
Let's get dressed.

Does it work?

Hello. Ripley? Believe this or not-

Oh, sorry.

Somebody get a mirror.

You wait there.
I'll let you out.

What is this? A castle? Do you live here?
- Shh. Shh.

No. This way.

We'll have to be kinda quiet.

Hold on for a second.
Just right there.

Okay.
- Okay.

All the way down to the end of the hall.
- All right.

I don't want to wake anyone up.

Sit right here.

Alex?

Could I ask you something, please?

Sure, anything.
- Oh, what's that thing over there?

It's my exercise machine.
I work out on that.

Okay.

Just get the light.

Alex!
- Yes, sir.

Have I lived to see the day when my
oldest son brings a whore into my house?

What don't i understand. Alex?
- It's not what it seems.

Costa, what do you see?
- I don't know. What time is it?

Fred, what do you see?
- I see a whore in Alex's room.

Goddamn you, freddy. Shut up!
- Get her out of this house!

All right. but it's-
it's not what it seems.

We'd better go now.

What kind of man are you?
You call my friends freaks?

That they bother you?
Those are the freaks! Look at them!

Who the hell do you think you are? God!

I'm gonna get outta here, all right.
I'm gonna get out ofhere. You're weirdos.

You're weirdos!

i sure am getting out ofhere!
Weirdos!

Weirdos!

Skye, you're a veterinarian, right?
- That's right.

Do you ever want to spend the evening
with critters?

No! No, a man!

What kind of qualities do you look for in a man?
- Yeah, go on.

I'm not so concerned
about just what the body

looks like. I tend to
like dark-haired men.

i don't really require that.

I mean, that's something that I
would want, rather than that I need.

Um-

As long as he wears pants, I'm happy.

Everything all right, ma'am?

I'm back.
- Good.

Oh, my gosh.
What's this tied to?

Oh! My God, I'm sorry.
I'm not used to these drawstrings.

It's my first time with this outfit.

You don't need to turn around.

Oh, this is really a charming restaurant.

Yes, it is.

To Alex 207.
- To Skye "747."

You wild thing.

Mmm. God, this has a really great taste.
What is this called?

Uh, this is Mont Ambelos.
- Oh, wow! It's so strong!

I'll bet it's aphrodisiacal.

Um, that's retsina.
That's the flavor.

Oh. Well, it reminds me
of Spanish fly.

Oh.!

You know, last week, I-I woke up
with this really strange yearning.

And I immediately went on - into my room
and put on my Greek toga.

And my first patient comes in.
an Angora cat.

And I asked the name. Ulysses.
- Ulysses.

Right, isn't that unreal?

Uh, what was wrong with him?

Her. Oh, no. Nothing.
I just had to spay her.

Is that where you fix 'em?
- Well, yeah.

I call it removing the heat.
- Ah.

I mean, some people think that's cruel...

but i've always thought
it was much more cruel to...

be in heat and have no way
to satisfy that urge.

is that what you think?

Uh, makes sense.
- it really does.

So, anyway. It made me realize
i hadn't gone out for two weeks...

and. i mean. i was through
with my period...

and then you mutually consented
to go out with me the next day.

it's really fate. you know?
- Sir? Hello? Sir?

Why are you yelling?
- Dropped something on the floor.

I'll pick it up.
- I'll get it.

No, I'll get it.
- Let me see if I can find him.

Okay.
- Hello? Sir?

i think you- Hello?

I don't know. He's gone.
- Yeah?

No name on it.

Oh, my! Kismet.
We're invited to a party.

No, really. "You and one guest
are invited to a showcase press party."

It's featuring Keepin' ' Em off the
Streets. And it's tonight at 9:00.

Lemme see that.
- What's Keepin' 'Em off the Streets?

That's probably one
of those crazy music groups.

Think we should go
to a strange party?

Why not?
- Ah, dare we?

It's fate.

Come on.

I liked it.

Hi, babies. Yes.

Come on in.

Okay.

Oh, God. I forgot to clean my apartment.
It's a mess!

Do you like candles?
- Oh, sure. Candles are all right.

Great.
I got lots of'em.

Oh. Oh, Alex,
I've been having a ball tonight.

Just a ball.

Oh, you're much more fun
than playing with animals.

But I tell you,
I'm about ready to drop into bed.

Well-

Listen. you don't have to clean up
just for me.

Oh, my goodness, your lips are dry.
You need something to wetten them up.

if you know what i mean.

A little drink
from my loving cup?

Yeah. If you leave any.

Mmm. That's good.

So are you.

I'm gonna go down and say good night
to my little animals.

And I will be right back.

I'll be right back.

Take ofF your shoes
and make yourself comfortable.

That's weird.

Ah. Weird.

Hey, you guys! I wanna see Sheila!
Pull over to the si-

Hey. you guys.
Come on.! Pull over!

Yeah. Pull over.

Hey, what the hell's goin' on here?
You could've got us all killed.

Aren't you the guy-
What are you doin' here?

I'm drivin' the bus.
What are you doin' here?

I'm tryin' to find Sheila.

Oh, yeah, Sheila Straight.
She's upstairs in the loft.

Here, you better wear this,
or they'll think you're somebody else.

Right.

Hey, Sheila,
I got a gray Cad down here with a sunroof.

He finally showed!

Hey, what the hell is this, man?
We gotta get to the hotel.

It's okay. It was fate.
It was really a sign.

It was like Kismet. A fella came into
the store and actually left this magazine.

And I knew I had to find you.
Do you believe it?

I see you, but I don't
know if I believe you.

Uh, I-I really wanted to talk to you.
- Yeah, let's go upstairs.

But, see, I just couldn't,
you know what I mean?

i tried. but i couldn't. Hello. ladies.
- Hi.

Are we- Okay, Sheila.

Come on.

Look. I'm sorry.
I realize I was totally wrong.

I should've stood up for you,
for us.

But I couldn't. I tried, but-

All I wanted to say is I was wrong,
and I'm sorry.

And thoughtless.
- Yeah.

Jesus, Sheila.
Don't make it any harder than it is.

It's just your family, you know, God.
- I know.

I shouldn't have yelled at them like that.

Well, they're old-fashioned, you know?
They don't understand.

I just wanted to tell you I'm apologizing,
and I'd like to forget that whole night.

Oh, I- I'm sorry.
I really am.

I'm sorry for calling 'em freaks.

Weirdos.
You called them weirdos.

My friends are the weirdos.
- No, no. Don't say that.

No, the people in this bus
are my kind of people.

And there's one other thing.
- Yes?

Well, I want to tell you something that
I've never told anybody before in my life.

Yes?
- I really like you.

What about my car? My-

Oh! Goodness!

What's that?

Sheila?
- I'll get rid of'em. Just hold on one second.

Sheila. it's Mary and Syd.
Could you please open the door?

What-What is it?
- Well, just please open the door and we'll explain. Okay?

What?

They screwed up the room reservations.
We don't have a room.

Teddy told us to come in here with you.
- That's great.

I'm sorry.
- God. Mary. you know. i have to get some sleep.

Oh. it's okay.
Listen. Sheila. we'rejust gonna sleep too.

Sydney doesn't feel well.
- God. I'm sorry.

Oh. God.

I don't know what to do.
- Get under the covers.

Night.

Mmm.

They're asleep.

I think we better go to sleep too.

Maybe they got one in here.

Hey, you got a
phone book in here?

Somebody tore all the
goddamn pages out of mine.

You know, you better think
about gettin' some sleep.

You got a lot of
singin' to do tomorrow.

I can't sleep in there
with those guys.

I don't give a goddamn where you sleep.
Just go to sleep.

Sydney, move over.
- Hey, Bobbi, what are you doing?

You cannot sleep in this
bed. There's not enough room.

Anyway, she might
get sick. Come on!

I don't have anything here.

if i had some inspiration. man.
maybe i could think up some.

Who made these reservations for you?
- Easy Travel.

Easy Travel. No.

Damn it.
- We don't have any rooms available.

What's goin'on?
- All the rooms are sold out.

Mona. what happened to Lousa?

Alex.

I'm-I'm so sorry.
- Sit down.

What happened?

It was her heart, Alex.
You knew about her heart.

When?
- Two days ago.

She was with Papa. We tried to find you.
- Goddamn it.

Since I'm not a blood relative,
but an in-law so to speak...

I feel I'm the only one
who can tell you.

Your father considers
that he's lost two children:

Lousa and you.

You are no longer alive to him, Alex.

You no longer exist
as a member of our family to anyone.

Under the circumstances...

it would be better to
make things less painful

for everyone and just leave quietly.

Don't you agree, Alex?

Sorry I had to be the one
to break the news to you.

Papa.