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1
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,802
Hey, buddy, got a cigarette?
2
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,303
Uh, yes, I do. Thank you.
3
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:03,339
Wait a minute. Could I borrow
One of your cigarettes?
4
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,796
Oh, certainly.
5
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,653
- where are you hit?
- in the arm.
6
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:20,490
I better put a
Tourniquet on that.
7
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,793
Give me your arm. Wait a minute.
8
00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:24,794
Max: kaos, eh?
9
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:29,132
- then that bullet was meant for me.
- what are you talking about?
10
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:33,036
I'm talking about this kaos emblem
On your back. Where did you get it?
11
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,571
- how did that get there?
- "How did that get there?"
12
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,741
Are you trying to tell me you don't
Know how that tattoo got there?
13
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,677
You can't expect a fella
To remember everything.
14
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:46,283
All right, get on your feet. I'm
Taking you downtown for questioning.
15
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,385
All right, smart, but
I've got news for you.
16
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,886
You're not gonna
Live through the day.
17
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,488
You got a price on your head
Of a quarter of million dollars.
18
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,492
A quarter of a million
Dollars? You're kidding.
19
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,260
No, I'm not kidding!
20
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,396
Is that american
Money or kaos scrip?
21
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,997
american money!
22
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,033
With that kind of a
Price on your head
23
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,168
Every killer in the country
Is gonna be after you.
24
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,203
you don't stand a chance!
25
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,472
Oh, really? Well, I've
Got news for you, fella...
26
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,741
Anybody who tries to
Collect that reward
27
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,633
Is gonna have to do
It over my dead body.
28
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,845
Siegfried: you fools!
29
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:26,149
Incompetents! Bunglers!
30
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:30,286
Dummkopfs! Sissies!
31
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,822
You call yourselves killers?
32
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,324
You are not worthy of the name.
33
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,493
In the past three weeks
34
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:40,730
Maxwell smart has
Personally eliminated
35
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,598
No less than 11...
36
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,401
Do you hear me, stupids?
37
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,937
Maxwell smart has
Personally eliminated
38
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:51,340
No less than 11 of
Our most vicious,
39
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:54,911
Brutal, cold-blooded agents!
40
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,480
Some of whom were
My best, dearest,
41
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,183
Sweetest, kindest friends.
42
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:05,488
And all because of
Your bumbling stupidity!
43
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,346
But let me tell you this...
44
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:16,966
Who is responsible for
Putting this pitcher over here?
45
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:21,693
This is another example
Of your stupidity!
46
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,776
It belongs over here.
47
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,746
Now, we did our best
48
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,015
To try to disguise our
Better-known agents.
49
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:37,119
Maxwell smart
Recognized them like this.
50
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,522
Now, listen to this...
51
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,657
I am still offering
52
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:46,228
$250,000 for maxwell smart,
53
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,764
Dead or alive.
54
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,967
If... Correction! Dead or dead!
55
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,903
This reward may
Act as an incentive
56
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:58,441
To other organizations of evil
To try to make an honest buck.
57
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:04,647
Now get this through
Your thick nitwit skulls!
58
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:09,119
I warn you as of right now...
59
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,855
If maxwell smart is not killed
60
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,358
Within 48 hours
61
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:19,562
The annual kaos bingo
Party and barbecue
62
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,119
Is canceled!
63
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,340
Max, I don't blame
You for being nervous.
64
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:33,009
Kaos is very anxious
To get rid of you.
65
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,612
Quarter of a million
Dollars. And tax-free.
66
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,214
That's an enormous reward.
The biggest I can remember.
67
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,382
I know.
68
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,083
I'd make an attempt
To collect it myself
69
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,885
If I could figure out a
Way to live through it.
70
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,488
Max, the important thing is
For you to be more careful
71
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,590
- than you've ever been in your life.
- you're right, chief.
72
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,692
This whole thing is
Beginning to get on my nerves.
73
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,127
The news is all over control.
74
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,429
Why, do you know that the
Boys in the lab have a pool
75
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,199
To guess how long I'll be alive?
76
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,733
Wait a minute, chief.
77
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,636
You don't suppose
That anybody in control
78
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,404
Would make an attempt
On my life, do you?
79
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,206
I think you ought to
Get of town for a while.
80
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,208
- why?
- max, you're very tense.
81
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,077
I think you can use the rest.
82
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,513
Look, chief, I'm not
Gonna run away and hide.
83
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,482
Max, your nerves are shot.
84
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,084
You know who are your
Friends or who are your enemies.
85
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,586
Next thing you know,
You'll be suspecting me.
86
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,821
That's not true, chief.
87
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,890
If there's one thing in
This world I'm sure of
88
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,625
It's the fact that
You and I are friends.
89
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,360
Well, I should
Certainly hope so.
90
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,163
All right, now,
Just take it easy.
91
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,266
One false move and
You're a dead man.
92
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,957
Pull your hand out
Of your pocket slowly.
93
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,175
Sorry, chief.
94
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,866
Don't ever pull a
Handkerchief on a friend.
95
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,118
Max, I'm worried about you.
96
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,520
You really are jumpy.
97
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:53,122
Don't worry about
Me, 99. I'll be all right.
98
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,826
Max!
99
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,050
It's just a car backfiring.
100
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,364
I know that, 99.
101
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,433
- I was just practicing.
- for what?
102
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:06,435
For the control track meet.
103
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,881
99, there was something
Very strange about that car.
104
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,815
Max, they tried to kill us.
105
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:22,018
So, that's what it was.
106
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,021
- did you get the license number?
- no, max.
107
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,285
I wonder if it was a kaos
Car or a control car.
108
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,661
What are you doing, 99?
109
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:35,231
Oh, max, I'm hunting for
My electronic finder.
110
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,200
Agent 13 is in the area
111
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,003
And we're supposed to
Locate him and get his report.
112
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,272
Oh, okay.
113
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,074
Listen, max.
114
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,899
13 is someplace near.
115
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,653
13? 13, can you hear me?
116
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:03,259
Max, I think he's in
The vending machine.
117
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,994
I think you're right, 99.
118
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,429
You stay here and let me know
119
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,197
If you see any
Suspicious cars coming.
120
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,421
Right, max.
121
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,180
- is that you, 13?
- no, it's the abominable snowman.
122
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,982
Of course it's me.
123
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,750
All right, what
Have you got, 13?
124
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:31,787
You name it... Pneumonia,
Bronchitis, frostbite, the flu.
125
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:34,790
Look, 13, I feel very sorry
For you but I'm in a hurry.
126
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:37,726
I don't know, 86. I've got
Get out of the spy business.
127
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,396
I'm supposed to be a
Secret agent, not a penguin.
128
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,200
Look, 13, have you
Seen any kaos agents
129
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,902
Loitering around here
In the neighborhood?
130
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,471
Well, what's the matter now?
131
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,473
You could at least
Say gesundheit.
132
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,576
- all right, gesundheit.
- it's too late now.
133
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,345
The reason I ask
About the kaos...
134
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,647
I haven't had such a chill since
I asked the chief for a raise.
135
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:01,117
I'm asking you,
13, if any kaos...
136
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,652
Gesundheit!
137
00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,155
Yeah, now you're talking.
138
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,957
All right, what's
Your problem, 86?
139
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:11,594
Kaos has offered a quarter
Of million dollars for my death!
140
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,396
Wow, with that kind of money
141
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,980
I could retire in
Florida or arizona.
142
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,261
The last gesundheit
He gets out of me.
143
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,782
- 99, look at that.
- what, max?
144
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,118
Well, don't you see anything unusual
About the way that man is walking?
145
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,222
Not particularly.
146
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,025
He favors the ball
Of his right foot,
147
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,295
Like a man who's been
Raised in goat country
148
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,597
And has had to walk
Sideways up hills a lot.
149
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,031
There's only one
Man in the world
150
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,633
Who has a distinctive
Walk like that.
151
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,502
- who, max?
- his name is valdez
152
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:54,671
And he's one of
Kaos's top assassins.
153
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,039
I'd know that walk anywhere.
154
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,374
You'll see, 99.
155
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,277
He has an evil face,
A big black mustache
156
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,713
And a scar running
Across his right cheek.
157
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,516
- what are you gonna do, max?
- I'm going after him, 99.
158
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,383
- you stay here.
- max, be careful!
159
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,485
All right, valdez, on your feet!
160
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:23,566
Would you get off of me, mister?
161
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,834
I think you've broken my arm.
162
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:28,059
Sorry about that.
163
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,364
You see, I thought
You were an old friend.
164
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,123
Max, eat your soup.
165
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,387
It's human to make a mistake.
166
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,565
99, isn't that waiter
New around here?
167
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,766
I haven't seen him before. Why?
168
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,324
I don't like his looks.
169
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,705
How is your soup, 99?
170
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:04,874
Fine.
171
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,098
Here, try mine.
172
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:14,606
- fine.
- oh, I thought it was poisoned.
173
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:26,962
All right, fella, now just what did
You have in mind for this stiletto?
174
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,031
It's for that gentlemen's steak.
175
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:32,268
Oh. Sorry about that.
176
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,492
There.
177
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,441
Let's skip lunch, max.
178
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,666
Maybe you're right, 99.
179
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,936
Come on, let's go.
180
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,886
- hold it, 99.
- what is it, max?
181
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:51,976
That man over there.
182
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,357
That's a man?
183
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,793
Yes, it's a brilliant
Disguise, 99.
184
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,896
But that so-called woman
Is actually melvin forester,
185
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,898
Bag man for the kaos syndicate.
186
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,967
notice the twitching in the
Neck muscles. That's the giveaway.
187
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,503
Max, don't you think you better
To have a look at melvin's face
188
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,439
- before you do anything?
- we don't have time, 99.
189
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,107
I've gotta get him
Before he sees us.
190
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,443
Max, you're already up on one
Count of assault and battery.
191
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,599
Shh!
192
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,070
Would you believe two counts?
193
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,556
Max, you need a rest.
194
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,859
You can't go around
Jumping on innocent people.
195
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,827
Besides you're in
Greater danger all the time.
196
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:32,795
What do you mean?
197
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,631
Well, they raised the price
On your head to $500,000.
198
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,935
$500,000? That's a
Half a million dollars.
199
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,603
That's terrible, chief.
200
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,572
I mean a quarter of a million dollars
Is reasonable price for killing a man,
201
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,407
But a half a million
Dollars caters to greed.
202
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,076
Kaos must be getting frantic.
203
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,212
You're probably closer to
Breaking this case than you think.
204
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,713
I don't think so, chief.
205
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,200
Well, why do you think
The price was raised?
206
00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:53,750
Inflation.
207
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,318
Max, I want you get
Out of town for a while.
208
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:59,421
Go to some nice resort
Somewhere and relax.
209
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,691
Swim, play some tennis,
Take a girl out dancing.
210
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,693
Chief, what are
You talking about?
211
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,829
You can't ask me to
Give up my career,
212
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:08,864
To give up a life of
Adventure and intrigue,
213
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,066
To go to some country
Club and become a has-been,
214
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:13,269
Lie around playing
Golf and tennis.
215
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,337
- and besides...
- what?
216
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,295
I've got nothing to wear.
217
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,275
Maybe now I can get some rest.
218
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,065
Who is it?
219
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,300
It's me, max.
220
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,468
Who's me?
221
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,203
99.
222
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,206
How do I know you're not
Someone pretending to be 99?
223
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,773
You don't.
224
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:54,309
Oh. Well, what do we do now?
225
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,579
Why don't you look at
Me through the peephole?
226
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,803
Good idea.
227
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,184
99.
228
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,352
Max.
229
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,387
- are you alone?
- yes.
230
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,611
Good.
231
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,566
- come in, 99.
- thank you, max.
232
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,665
Okay, 99, what's up?
233
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,100
- I came to say goodbye.
- to whom?
234
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,670
To you. The chief said you
Were going away for a rest.
235
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,038
- I'll miss you, max.
- oh, thank you, 99.
236
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:01,877
You're welcome. I guess I better
Be getting back to control.
237
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,146
- uh, 99?
- yes, max.
238
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:08,284
I don't suppose you'd
Consider leaving by the window.
239
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,508
No, thank you.
240
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,999
Well, so long, 99.
241
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:44,019
All right, start
Talking! Who are you?
242
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:47,378
Max, it's me, joe
Freebish, agent 63!
243
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:52,161
Are you kidding? I've known
Joe freebish for years.
244
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,631
Well, let me up
And I'll explain.
245
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,268
All right, get on your feet.
246
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,903
Now get your hands up.
247
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,440
Get over there.
248
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,041
Who are you really?
249
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:09,411
I've been telling you...
I'm joe freebish, agent 63.
250
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,413
Sounds like joe's voice, max.
251
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,650
Yes. And it's joe's build,
But it's not joe's face.
252
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,586
Well, didn't you hear about the
Train wreck I was in last week?
253
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,856
Oh, yes, you almost got killed.
254
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,258
I was very self-conscious
About those scars.
255
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,260
Now look.
256
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,428
Now go ahead, 99. You, too.
257
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,364
- now, feel these cheeks.
- well, I...
258
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,599
No, please, be my guest.
259
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,836
Huh, huh? Now, pull on my nose.
260
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,871
It's perfect, isn't it, huh?
261
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,574
- very nice.
- tell the truth, 86.
262
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,376
Is this a great
Face, or isn't it?
263
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,246
It's okay, but I'm still not convinced
You're the real joe freebish.
264
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,049
I've been telling you I am joe!
265
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:50,219
Maybe he is joe, max.
266
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:53,656
Well, there's only
Sure way to find out.
267
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,691
What happened in cairo
268
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,193
On the night of april 3rd, 1963?
269
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,230
Only the real joe freebish
Would know the answer to that.
270
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,920
All right.
271
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,981
- so that's what happened?
- uh-huh.
272
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:23,919
I still get letters
From the tall one.
273
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:27,022
- and then this is all plastic surgery?
- right.
274
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,859
I don't understand. Plastic
Surgery takes weeks to heal.
275
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,128
Not when dr. Noodleman does it.
276
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,797
Isn't he the one who
Does plastic surgery
277
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,732
For control agents
Without charging anything?
278
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,434
That's the one. He's
A great humanitarian.
279
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:42,137
Tell me, joe, where is
This doctor located?
280
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,340
His office is in town in
The conway building. Why?
281
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:48,276
I've gotta clear something up.
282
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,579
And maybe I can bring
An end to this business
283
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,748
Of going around
Jumping on people.
284
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,449
Where are you going, max?
285
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,942
To ask dr. Noodleman
A few questions.
286
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,762
It must be very
Gratifying, dr. Noodleman,
287
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,765
To give people
New hope, new life.
288
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,533
He who is blessed with a gift
289
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,836
And does not share
It lives in darkness.
290
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,603
I must remember that.
291
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:20,142
I'm getting a little tired of "A
Coward dies a thousand deaths."
292
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:23,645
Say, that one is
Fantastic, doctor.
293
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:25,714
What did he look like
Before the operation?
294
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,716
Noodleman: he had a
Little button nose.
295
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,251
But...
296
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,386
I hate little button noses.
297
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:35,124
Doctor, I came here to ask
You for some information.
298
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,460
It's always a pleasure
To serve control.
299
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:40,429
Doctor, I have a theory
300
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,698
That while facial
Characteristics can be altered,
301
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:46,101
Flares and twitches are a
Different matter. Is this true?
302
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,036
Very true, mr. Smart.
303
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:52,040
You see, doctor, I've arrested
Certain criminals lately.
304
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,443
Criminals that I
Thought I recognized.
305
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,912
Then later you discovered
You were mistaken.
306
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,515
Yes, unless...
307
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:02,951
Unless, those certain criminals have had
Certain plastic surgery performed, hmm?
308
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,386
exactly!
309
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:08,624
Now, doctor, I understand that
You can perform plastic surgery
310
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,259
- that heals almost immediately.
- that is correct.
311
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:13,329
You see, doctor, I
Have reason to believe
312
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,998
That kaos has somehow
Gotten ahold of this technique.
313
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,599
That's why I came to you.
314
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:20,502
I was hoping perhaps you could
Give me a list of crooked doctors.
315
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:23,338
Did you look in
The yellow pages?
316
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,996
Uh, no, I thought perhaps you
Could narrow it down faster.
317
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:37,619
- what's the matter, doctor?
- possibly nothing.
318
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:41,043
Would you mind stepping into
My examining room for a moment?
319
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,257
Sit right down, mr. Smart.
320
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,249
Well, what is it, doctor?
321
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,850
Probably nothing.
322
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,787
But as long as you're here,
We might as well take a look.
323
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,479
Make yourself
Comfortable. I'll be right back.
324
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,576
Maxwell smart is in my office.
325
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,779
Is there still a $500,000
Reward for his death?
326
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,281
Good.
327
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:40,482
No no, don't send anybody.
328
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,706
I'll kill him myself.
329
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:54,863
Now, mr. Smart...
330
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,553
Let's have a look.
331
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,635
What is it, doctor?
332
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,337
This little scar on your cheek,
333
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,039
How long have you had that?
334
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,808
Since I cut myself
Shaving this morning.
335
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,510
Well, as long as we got you here
336
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,201
May as well patch it up.
337
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,657
- how does it feel?
- it's a little tight, doctor.
338
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,881
Good.
339
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,866
Uh, I know this is a
Silly question, doctor,
340
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,736
But why am I being strapped in?
341
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,439
Well, so you won't move.
342
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,409
We wouldn't want
You to move and, uh...
343
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:44,033
Risk spoiling your plastic
Features now, would we?
344
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:49,017
Doctor, when I learned what
You had done for joe freebish
345
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,052
Something in my brain snapped.
346
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,721
What was that, mr. Smart?
347
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,823
Well, I realized that
Some other doctor
348
00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:57,926
Was performing the same
Operation for the kaos syndicate.
349
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,461
Impossible.
350
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,764
I'm the only one who
Knows the technique.
351
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:04,332
Doctor, I'm gonna
Ask you a question
352
00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:08,236
And I want you to
Tell me the truth.
353
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,772
Are you going to kill me?
354
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,640
Yes.
355
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,576
Wouldn't you like a little more
Time to think over your answer?
356
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:20,381
This will only put
You to sleep, mr. Smart.
357
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:22,517
You won't feel a thing.
358
00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:24,753
And when I wake up I'll be dead.
359
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,343
Exactly.
360
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,127
Don't move, noodleman,
Or you're a dead doctor.
361
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:34,096
My hand... You ruined it!
362
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,398
- I'll never operate again.
- all right, larrabee, get him out of here.
363
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,735
Freebish and 99 telephoned me
After you left your apartment
364
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,502
And told me where
You were going.
365
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:44,305
So I decided to come over here
Just in case you got into any trouble.
366
00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:46,307
Nothing I couldn't
Handle, chief.
367
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:48,944
Good work, max. I'm
Glad this case is closed.
368
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,746
What do you mean
This case is closed?
369
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,680
- this case isn't closed.
- why not?
370
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,118
Because it's shocking, absolutely
Shocking that a quack like that
371
00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:58,220
Could be a control
Doctor for 10 years!
372
00:22:58,244 --> 00:23:01,723
I want a complete and thorough
Investigation of this entire matter.
373
00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:04,292
Who's in charge of our
Medical security division?
374
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,427
- max, the case is closed!
- who is it, chief?
375
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:06,809
You!
376
00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:09,887
That's what I said,
Chief. The case is closed.
377
00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:26,648
99, these files of dr. Noodleman
Are absolutely fantastic.
378
00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:29,985
He must have changed the faces
Of over 100 kaos agents, max.
379
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,487
Yes, but at least we have
Pictures of what they look like now.
380
00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:35,857
We should be able to
Round most of them up.
381
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:38,460
Good news, max. We've
Received additional information
382
00:23:38,484 --> 00:23:40,862
On the $500,000 reward
Offered for your death.
383
00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:44,700
- what about it, chief?
- it runs out at midnight tonight.
384
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:47,368
You mean in four hours
I'll stop being a marked man?
385
00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:49,370
Absolutely. You won't
Have to worry any longer
386
00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,740
About who your friends
Are or who your enemies are.
387
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,742
Oh, come on now, chief,
I never really thought...
388
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,543
That's all right,
Max. I understand.
389
00:23:55,567 --> 00:23:57,913
Believe me, in your place I would
Have felt exactly the same way.
390
00:23:57,937 --> 00:23:59,314
I wouldn't have
Known who to trust.
391
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,817
In that case, I
Wonder if you and 99
392
00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:04,385
Would mind doing me a favor
Until the deadline runs out.
393
00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:06,121
- certainly, max.
- what is it?
394
00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,478
Stick 'em up!
395
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:15,697
I mean, there's no use taking
Any chances now, is there?
396
00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:16,820
Hey, up, up!
30176
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