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1
00:00:01,750 --> 00:00:02,850
You want to see me, Drew?
2
00:00:03,190 --> 00:00:04,750
Yeah, Hank, come on in and have a seat.
3
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:06,850
So how are things on the security beam?
4
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:08,610
Oh, I can't complain.
5
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:12,170
You know, I'm just a foot soldier in the
war on shoplifting.
6
00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,970
Yeah, so listen, Hank, remember last week
when I fired you?
7
00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:18,870
I just wanted to call you in to remind you
that you're fired.
8
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:21,130
No, I'm not.
9
00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:21,810
Yes, you are.
10
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:22,290
No, I'm not.
11
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:23,330
Yes, you are, Hank.
12
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,186
Come on, listen, you've got to stop coming
into work.
13
00:00:25,210 --> 00:00:26,446
You're making the new guy nervous.
14
00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:26,970
It's his hat.
15
00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:28,170
You've got to give it back.
16
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,730
Well, you may have fired me, Drew,
but you see, I'm not really fired.
17
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:36,390
It takes two people to do a firing,
and I didn't agree.
18
00:00:39,530 --> 00:00:40,970
Besides, I've got a wife to support.
19
00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:42,630
I thought you were divorced.
20
00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:43,990
Well, she's divorced.
21
00:00:44,070 --> 00:00:45,070
I'm not.
22
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:48,730
Hank, please, you know, I don't like to do
this, but it's my job.
23
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:49,990
Now, I had to fire you.
24
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,566
You were overzealous with all the
customers.
25
00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:52,590
No, I wasn't.
26
00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:58,710
You told a 79-year-old woman to keep the
cane over here and eat tile.
27
00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:02,830
Hey, Drew, that's our policy.
28
00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:04,550
Trust no one.
29
00:01:04,850 --> 00:01:07,266
I mean, the minute you enter the store,
you give up all your rights.
30
00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:08,526
No, see, there's two things wrong with
that.
31
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:11,270
First of all, that's not our policy,
and second of all, you're fired!
32
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,530
Oh, no.
33
00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:14,750
Hey, Drew, about that $10 out of you.
34
00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:15,930
I'll pay you next week.
35
00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:17,146
You said you're going to have it today.
36
00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:18,030
Well, I don't have it.
37
00:01:18,050 --> 00:01:18,670
I can't pay you money.
38
00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:19,790
I don't have.
39
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,560
All right.
40
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,260
Let's see your wealth.
41
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:31,800
Excuse me?
42
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:32,780
Let's see if you have the money.
43
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:33,240
Open your wallet.
44
00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,100
Hey, back off, old-timer, okay?
45
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,140
Open it.
46
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:37,600
No, open it.
47
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:38,780
Why am I arguing with you?
48
00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:39,820
Weren't you fired?
49
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,020
Well, if I'm fired, then I'm not really
here.
50
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:47,620
So it's going to be nobody kicking your
ass all around this office in two minutes.
51
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,600
I'm not doing this because I'm afraid.
52
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,120
Yes, you are.
53
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:00,500
Okay.
54
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,600
Here, Hank.
55
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Sign right here.
56
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:06,560
What for?
57
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,376
I'm transferring you over to collections.
58
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,400
You start tomorrow.
59
00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,350
You can't do that to me.
60
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,550
I'm one of Sallie Mae Cosmetics' best
reps.
61
00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:01,770
Oh, yeah?
62
00:03:01,870 --> 00:03:05,030
I'd like to see you try and repossess my
makeup case.
63
00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,110
You'll have to pry it from my dead cold
hands.
64
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,810
Hey, Mimi, I don't see Drew.
65
00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:13,230
Is he here?
66
00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:14,310
Trust me.
67
00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:16,890
If he was here, you'd see him,
no matter which way you look.
68
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,750
Now, get out of my face before I catch a
bad case of the stupids.
69
00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:24,150
Always a pleasure, ma'am.
70
00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:26,350
Oh, wait a minute.
71
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:28,030
Uh, come back here.
72
00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:30,250
Handsome and handsomer.
73
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:31,590
Hey, hold on.
74
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:32,530
Nobody calls us handsome.
75
00:03:32,531 --> 00:03:33,531
This must be a trick.
76
00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:36,510
Oh, I'm sorry if I was a little harsh.
77
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:39,110
I thought you were two other idiots that I
don't like.
78
00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:41,330
It's not a trick.
79
00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:42,470
Come on.
80
00:03:43,650 --> 00:03:47,050
Well, as you know, I'm a sales rep for
Sallie Mae Cosmetics.
81
00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:48,490
More like a billboard.
82
00:03:54,090 --> 00:03:55,870
Well, here's something you need.
83
00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:58,510
A new line of cologne.
84
00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,170
I can give it to you for ten bucks.
85
00:04:00,171 --> 00:04:01,430
Oh, hey.
86
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:02,570
How come it says sample?
87
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:03,990
Oh, it doesn't.
88
00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:04,530
It's French.
89
00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:05,950
It's called Saint-Plé.
90
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,330
Mm-hmm.
91
00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:08,710
I don't know.
92
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:09,810
Well, buy it now.
93
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,270
Get it cheap while the FDA drags its feet
on approval.
94
00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:13,530
Oh.
95
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:17,730
Oh, by the way, Sallie Mae is not
responsible for loss of vision.
96
00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:19,411
Kidney failure, birth defects,
you know.
97
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:22,870
Hey, Kate.
98
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,550
Get ready to smell something wonderful.
99
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:26,970
I'm not gonna pull anything.
100
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:30,750
No, it's a French cologne called Saint
-Plé.
101
00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,470
Wait till you get a load of this.
102
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,230
Ever smell a cigar that's been sitting in
a urinal?
103
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:41,750
Oh, I get it.
104
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:44,530
This is one of the pranks you're gonna
play on Drew for his birthday.
105
00:04:44,890 --> 00:04:45,890
Not bad.
106
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:48,910
But stand back, because this year I have
outdone myself.
107
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,270
Oh, yeah.
108
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:52,286
I finally found a way to talk last year's
Hey, Drew.
109
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:52,770
Look over there.
110
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:53,990
Oh, boy.
111
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:55,930
All right.
112
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:57,350
What do you have that's so great?
113
00:04:57,690 --> 00:05:00,450
How about an entire day of practical
jokes?
114
00:05:01,070 --> 00:05:04,130
First, we're gonna reset his scale to make
him think he's gained 30 pounds.
115
00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:07,570
And then we're gonna let out his pants to
make him think he lost 30 pounds.
116
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:09,470
There he comes.
117
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:10,290
Hey, guess what?
118
00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:11,730
I'm getting a promotion.
119
00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:12,870
Hey, congratulations.
120
00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:14,924
Yeah, I'm gonna be the
new regional personnel
121
00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:16,630
director for all three
Winford Lauder stores.
122
00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,170
Hey, congratulations.
123
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:21,650
That's exactly how I want you to react
when I actually get the promotion.
124
00:05:21,651 --> 00:05:24,662
You see, we just had
this meeting, and I offered
125
00:05:24,663 --> 00:05:27,091
to update all the Winford
Lauder training videos.
126
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,230
If I do a good job, I'm a shoo-in.
127
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:30,970
All I need now is an A-OK on the money.
128
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:33,766
Well, it's about time someone changed
those training films.
129
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:35,430
They look like they were made in the 50s.
130
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:36,870
Yeah, I've seen those films.
131
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:41,871
They always got those guys with the skinny
ties and the crew guns and the big glasses.
132
00:05:45,570 --> 00:05:48,430
Well, I won't look so stupid when I'm
regional personnel director.
133
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,250
For once, I'm gonna celebrate my birthday
by getting ahead.
134
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:54,051
You know, since Denny's got rid of that
free meal thing, I got nothing.
135
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,606
Hey, why don't you guys go down and watch
without me?
136
00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:57,666
I'll reach you down there and we'll
celebrate.
137
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,690
All right, I'll get one.
138
00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:01,690
Hello?
139
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:04,770
Oh, Ray, you have an answer for me on the
money for those training videos?
140
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:07,366
What do you mean you have to inform me by
registered mail?
141
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:08,410
You're two cubicles away.
142
00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:12,550
Oh, yeah, well, how about this for company
policy?
143
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,630
I can hit you with a stapler from here.
144
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:17,430
Oh, I got the money?
145
00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:18,630
Thank you, sir.
146
00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:20,950
By the way, after butt call, do you want
your head back?
147
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,386
Hey, Drew, can I talk to you for a minute?
148
00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:29,410
Yeah, sure, sit down.
149
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,417
This is kind of hard for me
to talk about, but I think my
150
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:36,130
boss might be coming on to
me, and I'm not sure what to do.
151
00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:37,690
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
152
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,010
I was staring at your breasts.
153
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:44,130
This is sexual harassment, and I'm Drew
Carey.
154
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:48,770
It's important to define what is and isn't
appropriate behavior in the workplace.
155
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:51,910
The difference can be something as subtle
as tone of voice.
156
00:06:52,670 --> 00:06:53,670
For example...
157
00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:55,870
Yes, ma'am, you wanted a package
delivered?
158
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,270
Yeah, just one question.
159
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,590
Can I get it overnight?
160
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,350
No problem there.
161
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,130
But change the tone of voice and...
162
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,730
Yes, ma'am, you wanted a package
delivered?
163
00:07:10,170 --> 00:07:11,170
Yeah, just one question.
164
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:13,190
Can I get it overnight?
165
00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:15,170
Um, I don't know.
166
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:20,450
If I can't get it overnight, can you
guarantee it by morning?
167
00:07:22,130 --> 00:07:25,630
Whoa, she stopped talking about a real
package a long time ago.
168
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,110
Obviously, that crosses a line.
169
00:07:33,230 --> 00:07:34,930
Another tricky area is physical contact.
170
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:37,530
In the course of a normal day,
we touch many people.
171
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,510
Shaking hands, pat on the back,
brushing Lynn off her shoulder,
172
00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:41,810
all perfectly innocent.
173
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:45,290
But there's right touching and wrong
touching.
174
00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:50,390
Excuse me, your hair clip's falling out.
175
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,310
Right touching.
176
00:07:56,870 --> 00:07:59,810
Excuse me, your hair clip's falling...
177
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:02,670
Oh, no.
178
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,180
Wrong touching.
179
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,260
Hey, buddy, you're fired.
180
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,008
It's important to remember
that you have the right to put
181
00:08:18,009 --> 00:08:21,620
a stop to this kind of
behavior, even if it's your boss.
182
00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:26,720
Good afternoon, Miss Boback.
183
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:30,380
I have a bottle of Rothschild 67 back at
my place.
184
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,860
And I was wondering if you'd... Hold it,
stop the camera.
185
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:34,860
Sir, what are you doing?
186
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,120
Connery.
187
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:37,560
Sean Connery.
188
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,437
That's very good, but I
think it's important just
189
00:08:41,461 --> 00:08:42,540
to keep things, you
know, a little more real.
190
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:44,480
Oh, say no more, I'll do Michael Caine.
191
00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:50,700
Older Burch, adore me, because I've got
sensitive eyes and wavy hair.
192
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,692
Wow, you know, if you close
your eyes, you think that was
193
00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:57,041
Michael Caine himself throwing
my promotion down the toilet.
194
00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,400
All right, I'll do it your way.
195
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,920
Pardon me for having a range.
196
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:03,900
Try one more time.
197
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,068
About your race, Miss
Boback, why don't I pick up some
198
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,940
wine and we go to a cheap
motel to discuss this further?
199
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,400
Let's go to my place.
200
00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:13,540
I got beers.
201
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,640
Hold it!
202
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,280
Amy, you're supposed to say no.
203
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,640
You try looking in those eyes and say no.
204
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,540
Okay, that's it.
205
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:29,760
I need some cooperation.
206
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,260
I got another video to shoot.
207
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:32,500
The store opens in an hour.
208
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,720
Amy, just do the line right this time.
209
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,280
Fine.
210
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,760
I'm sorry, sir, but your behavior is
making me feel uncomfortable.
211
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:45,401
Yes, I think that'd be a little more
convincing if you took your hand off my bum.
212
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,920
Just, uh, keep rolling.
213
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,120
We'll cut that out.
214
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:55,920
I will not go to your motel, but I will
file a complaint against you.
215
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:59,340
And if that doesn't stop you, I can take
you to court.
216
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:00,940
That's right.
217
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,605
Sexual harassment is
a crime, and it's against
218
00:10:03,606 --> 00:10:05,740
the law, and you
don't have to take it.
219
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:09,880
You can sue, or if you have to,
let your knee be the judge.
220
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:13,720
Shh, this is the best part.
221
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,320
This has been a Winfred Louder,
Drew Carey production.
222
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,020
Very powerful, Drew.
223
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,980
I laughed, I cried, I fell to rest.
224
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,060
Ooh, I have to get to work.
225
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:29,460
I'm showing these to the board at 9 o
'clock, which means that they should be
226
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:32,920
carrying me on their shoulders
to my new executive offices
227
00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:35,660
by 10.30, which should be
easy, because check this out.
228
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,260
My pants are loose.
229
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:38,420
I'm losing weight.
230
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,800
Losing weight, you say, huh?
231
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,500
How much have you lost?
232
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:43,620
Have you weighed yourself?
233
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:44,720
On your scale?
234
00:10:46,340 --> 00:10:47,140
Well, what am I going to believe?
235
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,440
My pants are some silly scale.
236
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,880
I think I must have been that sit-up.
237
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,460
Guys, what's up the pranks?
238
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:57,936
It's not his birthday till tomorrow.
239
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,276
Oh, that's just a coming attraction.
240
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,860
Tamari wakes up in the little tiny bed.
241
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,700
Not bad, but my prank is going to blow
yours away.
242
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:09,100
Check out what I did to Drew's office
safety video.
243
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:17,490
Hi, I'm Drew Carey, and the next few
minutes could save your life.
244
00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:21,130
You know, a lot of people think that
office safety is just a bunch of hot air.
245
00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:24,130
Well, here at Winford Louder, we take it
seriously.
246
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,330
Let's face it, accidents happen.
247
00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:32,170
Oh, my God, where are the sounds?
248
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:34,990
I put in sounds.
249
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:38,170
I went to this guy's recording studio and
put in funny sounds.
250
00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:41,030
What do you mean, like
snoring or train whistles or that
251
00:11:41,031 --> 00:11:43,631
exciting sound a squirrel makes
when you chase him around a pole?
252
00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:45,550
What?
253
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:48,350
Worse, much worse.
254
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:52,130
And if I've got this tape, that means Drew
has my tape.
255
00:11:53,390 --> 00:11:54,450
Oh, my God.
256
00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:58,410
Thank you for seeing me and for the
opportunity to show you the next
257
00:11:58,411 --> 00:12:00,430
generation of human resource training
films.
258
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,990
What's wrong with the films we use now?
259
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:07,230
Well, all due respect, Mrs. Louder,
kind of out of date.
260
00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:11,610
I mean, nowadays, women are allowed to
wear slacks, and men can have beards,
261
00:12:11,611 --> 00:12:15,150
and the quote-unquote Nancy boys are now
some of our best salesmen.
262
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:19,390
Mrs. Louder, I'm not going to make any
bones about it.
263
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:21,010
I want Owen's job.
264
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:23,950
Kerry, I like this side of you.
265
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:26,146
Let me get it, Mrs. Louder.
266
00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:26,470
Let me.
267
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:27,950
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
268
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:30,590
Hello?
269
00:12:31,090 --> 00:12:33,510
Kerry, it's Kate O'Brien for you.
270
00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:35,086
I can't believe she called me here.
271
00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:36,230
Tell her I'll call her back.
272
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:38,410
Busy, bye.
273
00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:40,390
Thank you.
274
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:43,341
Ladies and gentlemen,
after seeing this, I'm
275
00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:46,611
sure you'll view me
in a whole new light.
276
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,070
Hi, I'm Drew Kerry.
277
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,550
And the next few minutes could save your
life.
278
00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:56,010
You know, a lot of people think that
office safety is just a bunch of hot air.
279
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:58,790
Well, here at Winford Louder, we take it
seriously.
280
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:04,950
Let's face it, accidents happen.
281
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,250
You'd be surprised how many happen right
here in the office every day.
282
00:13:08,251 --> 00:13:12,670
From your computer monitor to your pencil
sharpener, danger lurks everywhere.
283
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,130
Uh-oh.
284
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:18,830
This could have been a real problem.
285
00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,770
A little bit of a search projector could
start an electrical fire.
286
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:26,970
Let me guess, Kerry.
287
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,770
You shot this after lunch.
288
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:33,730
I'm sorry, I'll turn it off right away.
289
00:13:33,870 --> 00:13:35,450
Oh, Kerry, put a cork in it.
290
00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:41,120
I'm enjoying this.
291
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,880
Scissors.
292
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:45,020
Letter openers.
293
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,280
Stapers.
294
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:50,200
Don't run with any of them.
295
00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:56,761
Let's take a walk around the office and see
if we can find any other hidden dangers.
296
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,546
For example, let me
show you the right way
297
00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:07,360
and the wrong way to
pick up a water cooler.
298
00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:08,700
Oh, no, not the water cooler.
299
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,500
Never bend at the waist.
300
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,280
Instead, let your lower body do the work.
301
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:16,820
Bend at the knees.
302
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:18,620
Slowly.
303
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,160
That feels good.
304
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,880
I don't think I ripped anything.
305
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,224
If you have any heart
conditions, I should
306
00:14:31,225 --> 00:14:33,540
warn you in the next
scene I climb the ladder.
307
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:34,541
Don't worry!
308
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:46,880
But in birthday...
309
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,580
Oswald, Lewis, get out.
310
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:53,200
What do we do?
311
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,076
Maybe the laughing stock of the whole
store.
312
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:55,660
That's what you did.
313
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,396
No one's ever going to take me seriously
now.
314
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:58,996
There's no way in hell I'm going to get
the promotion.
315
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,860
What, did you think that was going to be
funny?
316
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:05,700
Well, it would have been if you played it
at your party like you were supposed to.
317
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:09,100
You?
318
00:15:09,101 --> 00:15:09,980
You did this to me?
319
00:15:09,981 --> 00:15:11,720
Look, Drew, this will all blow over.
320
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:16,560
Just put it behind you and don't look
back.
321
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,080
Don't play Kate for ruining your
presentation.
322
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,880
She was just trying to keep up with us.
323
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:22,880
Oh, great.
324
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,616
What kind of hell are you guys going to
put me through?
325
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,960
I better not wake up with another naked
dummy in my mother.
326
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:29,540
Don't worry, buddy.
327
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,320
After all you've been through, we've
called off all the rest of the pranks.
328
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000
Yeah, all right.
329
00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:35,177
You know, I've got
to figure out a way to
330
00:15:35,178 --> 00:15:36,620
get back some respect
so I can get that job.
331
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,520
Or at least get people to quit following
me around with matches.
332
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:43,280
Why don't you guys just go to lunch
without me?
333
00:15:43,340 --> 00:15:44,740
I've been munching on this all day.
334
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,280
Okay, buddy.
335
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:47,960
Okay.
336
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,160
If you don't think that's an improvement,
you're wrong.
337
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,940
Blowing out your butt when it's not busy.
338
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:06,936
Look, did you come in here just to make
the worst day of my life worse?
339
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,880
Or do you have something work-related to
discuss?
340
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:10,220
Well, face it.
341
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,500
You're not going nowhere.
342
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:13,540
You're going to be in this cubicle
forever.
343
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,860
You better start sucking up to the kid in
the mail room with the dead eyes,
344
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,120
because he's going to be moving up to the
top of this company before you.
345
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,360
No, he won't, damn it.
346
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:26,500
Judy?
347
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,080
Yeah, put Mrs. Louder on.
348
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,160
It's Drew Carey.
349
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:30,860
Drew?
350
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,080
And personnel?
351
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,220
Yeah, that's right.
352
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,280
Gassy Carey.
353
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,860
Oh, Mrs. Louder?
354
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:39,560
Yeah.
355
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:42,700
Listen, I know you're in the middle of a
big meeting, but I insist...
356
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:45,064
No, I am asking if I can
come down and address
357
00:16:45,065 --> 00:16:47,861
the board for just
a couple of minutes.
358
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,920
No, I don't have any more funny videos.
359
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,300
Thank you.
360
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,440
Show that kid in the mail room.
361
00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:56,640
Today is not just my birthday.
362
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,600
Today is the day I show Winford Louder
that I am no fool.
363
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,240
Ah, damn it!
364
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,320
I was holding Lewis.
365
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:10,680
How could you leave that cake in your
truck all morning?
366
00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:11,960
You knew it was made of tofu.
367
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:16,100
Well, Drew didn't seem to notice, and
what's the problem if it got a little warm?
368
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:18,639
The problem is, wherever
Drew just went, he's armed
369
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,300
with about a quart of
spoiled bean curd in his belly.
370
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:26,260
Hi,
371
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,380
good afternoon, and just thanks for seeing
me.
372
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,860
Are you going to burp the alphabet today?
373
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:38,300
No, no, not.
374
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,120
Actually, yesterday just wasn't one of my
better days.
375
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:46,760
Somebody played A Child Is Prank on me,
but, you know, you have my word that
376
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,520
something like that is never ever going to
happen again.
377
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,140
So, you know, this is crazy.
378
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,940
Here I am trying to ask you to take me
seriously, and what I should be doing is
379
00:18:01,941 --> 00:18:05,140
showing you my record, which is down in my
office.
380
00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:06,580
I'll be back in just ten minutes.
381
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,540
Mr. Carey, don't move.
382
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,840
If you have something to say, say it now.
383
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:22,399
Okay, if I'm going to
stay, then I'm going to sit,
384
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,520
because I always wanted
to sit in one of these chairs.
385
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,350
Okay, then.
386
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:34,090
Let's cut to the chase.
387
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,630
I think I'm qualified for this job,
and I think I deserve it.
388
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:42,970
Notwithstanding that little prank,
which pretty much blew up in your face,
389
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:47,310
we think you're the man for the job.
390
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:49,550
Oh my God, really?
391
00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:49,990
You're kidding.
392
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,870
You are our new regional manager.
393
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:55,010
All right, well, thank you.
394
00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:57,550
Entitled only, and only for the next 30
days.
395
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,724
We're closing one of
our stores, and the other
396
00:18:59,725 --> 00:19:01,971
one's accidentally
burning down next month.
397
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:09,770
You're getting a new parking space, a
token raise, and a hearty pat on the back.
398
00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:10,810
I wouldn't do that.
399
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:14,050
Congratulations.
400
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:14,970
Thanks.
401
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:19,190
Well, I guess there's nothing else for me
to do but to rush out of here and prove to
402
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,151
you that you chose the right man for the
job, huh?
403
00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:24,190
Here I go.
404
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,260
The boardroom looks great.
405
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,340
Those new ceiling tiles?
406
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:53,400
Because, boy, let me tell you...
407
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,660
How about those cavaliers, huh?
408
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,980
Did someone get the door for me?
409
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,840
Harry, you dropped your wallet.
410
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:17,140
It's yours.
411
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:21,460
Thank you.
412
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,020
Minimum wage.
413
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,740
Minimum wage plus five cents, thank you.
414
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:27,860
You're from UPS?
415
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:29,220
No, ma'am.
416
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:30,820
I'm with Global Parcel.
417
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:32,580
Oh, good.
418
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,940
Let me turn on the part of my brain that
gives a damn.
419
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,000
Just get it to Spain.
420
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,440
Well, actually, Global only serves Ohio
and Indiana, but I can get it to the
421
00:20:44,441 --> 00:20:47,241
Pennsylvania border, and then we can give
it over to World Wide Parcel.
422
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:48,760
And they can get it to Spain?
423
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,040
No, they can get it to Jersey.
424
00:20:52,140 --> 00:20:53,620
Then we give it to Universal.
425
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:54,760
They're the big boys.
426
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,060
They can get it to Bermuda.
427
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:57,780
And then what?
428
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,680
Well, do you know anybody in Bermuda?
30320
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