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1
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,660
Look, you guys are the best Christmas
elves I've ever had, but I can't afford to
2
00:00:04,661 --> 00:00:06,176
pay you more than ten bucks an hour this
year.
3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,200
I'm really sorry.
4
00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:09,380
It's fifteen dollars, or we walk.
5
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:10,956
I'm trying to be fair here.
6
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:12,036
I mean, who gets you guys benefits?
7
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:12,920
Who gets you off-season work?
8
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,020
And here you are, trying to cut me off at
the knees.
9
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:19,420
I didn't mean it that way, and you know
it.
10
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:21,580
Yeah, I know it, Drew.
11
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:24,120
And I'm sure the management's not just
trying to get fat.
12
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,200
Oh, and I didn't mean it that way.
13
00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:27,380
And you know it.
14
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,200
Look, how about eleven bucks an hour?
15
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,176
But you have to know that means I'm
screwing over the Easter Bunny.
16
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,000
Yeah, like he brings in the kids.
17
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,340
Wow, eleven bucks an hour?
18
00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:36,420
We'll do it for that.
19
00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:37,860
Hey, look, giraffe boy.
20
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,680
The job description says, elf.
21
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:43,320
Now, metal midget?
22
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:44,040
That's another story.
23
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,360
Hey!
24
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:46,936
Hold on, there's no problem here.
25
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,216
My friends aren't competing for your jobs.
26
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,240
I mean, look at them.
27
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,640
Now you're just being a hattest.
28
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:52,820
Oh, that's me.
29
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,260
Okay, guys, we got it.
30
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:55,860
Let's go.
31
00:00:55,861 --> 00:00:56,440
Hey, wait a minute.
32
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:56,920
Where are you going?
33
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,760
I told Saks to call at the meet-up price
of fifteen an hour.
34
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,200
And I'm hoping they'll pay us under the
table.
35
00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,180
Shut up.
36
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,440
Well, well, well.
37
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:08,820
Ha, ha, ha.
38
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,200
Suddenly we don't look so tall,
huh, Drew?
39
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,420
Man, I need somebody right away.
40
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,180
We could use the extra Christmas cash.
41
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:15,880
What do you say?
42
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,300
What, are you serious?
43
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,520
Okay, I got the jobs.
44
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,720
Is this one catch?
45
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:22,760
Whoa.
46
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,460
Looks like we're gonna be sexy elves.
47
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:23,640
Something wrong, sir?
48
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,300
Tell me something, Kerry.
49
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,860
What are some of the more imaginative ways
I fire people?
50
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,280
Well, the price is right of your fire.
51
00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:31,340
It is pretty novel.
52
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,090
And who could ever forget the
famous halftime show you put
53
00:02:34,091 --> 00:02:36,421
on for the guy who called in a
sick from the Ohio State game?
54
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:37,700
Two, four, six, eight.
55
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:38,976
Who'll be living off the state?
56
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,200
It's you.
57
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:39,840
It's you.
58
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,180
It's you.
59
00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:43,260
Better days, Kerry.
60
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,500
Better days.
61
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:51,460
I haven't told anyone this, but I went to
Fire Hutchison this morning, and I...
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00:02:51,461 --> 00:02:52,940
I just didn't have the old stuff.
63
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,760
You mean you didn't fire them?
64
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,700
Ha, ha, ha.
65
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,480
Don't get me wrong, I fired them all
right.
66
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,322
But afterwards, I didn't
run over to the window and
67
00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:03,860
enjoy the inevitable temper
tantrum in the parking lot.
68
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:07,600
I just sat there, cradling my water
balloon, thinking, what's the point?
69
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,480
Well, it's funny you should bring that up
now, sir, because I've come up with a
70
00:03:11,481 --> 00:03:13,820
system for downsizing that's less random
and more humane.
71
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,040
See, here's what we do.
72
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:18,120
We take the employee's number of days
missed multiplied by the number of days
73
00:03:18,121 --> 00:03:20,940
late divided by seniority plus the number
of customer complaints.
74
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:22,840
Okay.
75
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,020
Use your formula to reduce
the workforce by three
76
00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:27,401
percent, or it's back
to the finger of fate.
77
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,300
Can we factor in stupid glasses and see
who that knocks out?
78
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,820
Why, Birkbeck, sometimes you're just plain
evil.
79
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,900
Why, thank you, sir.
80
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,820
Here's a question I don't want to answer
to.
81
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,500
Are you just flirting with him?
82
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:50,480
Fight me, giant drummer boy.
83
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,000
Oh, by the way, here's your invitation to
the office Christmas party.
84
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:56,860
Thanks.
85
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,360
Who are you bringing?
86
00:03:58,420 --> 00:03:59,740
I'll pause here for your dignity.
87
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,780
Don't worry about me.
88
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,340
I got my eye on somebody.
89
00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:06,140
Who's your date?
90
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,760
Putting a skirt on your dog?
91
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,600
You know, you really know how to hurt a
guy, Mimi.
92
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,060
You know, you're tapping into a lot of
pain and vulnerability here.
93
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:21,420
No, no, I'm serious.
94
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:23,940
I'm not setting you up.
95
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,400
I'm all alone for the holidays.
96
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:26,960
It's really bringing me down.
97
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,540
Oh, knock it off.
98
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:29,920
Nobody's believing you.
99
00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:31,340
Ooh, boo, hoo, hoo.
100
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:36,860
Those the weasel.
101
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:42,580
Hey, good looking.
102
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:43,260
Hey, Drew.
103
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,120
I actually was talking to the cake.
104
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,460
Congratulations, Lisa.
105
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,836
Hard to believe she's getting married,
huh?
106
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,860
I guess some couples are just meant to be,
I guess.
107
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:52,580
Wow.
108
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:54,620
Drew, I'm really proud of you.
109
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:58,020
I mean, throwing Lisa a wedding shower,
for God's sake, that's really classy.
110
00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,756
Well, I'm glad she's getting married.
111
00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,156
I mean, she doesn't spring chicken
anymore.
112
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:02,180
What is she, 70?
113
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:03,840
Drew, who are we talking about?
114
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,300
Lisa, in appliances.
115
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:09,880
No, the person that's getting married is
Lisa, Lisa, your ex-girlfriend.
116
00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:11,820
Lisa?
117
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:12,740
My Lisa?
118
00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:14,240
Oh, oh, my God, Drew.
119
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,600
I thought you knew.
120
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,720
You're not still attached to her,
are you?
121
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,240
No, I'm not attached to my Lisa at all.
122
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,500
Oh, man.
123
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,800
Just get out of here.
124
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:24,960
I'll handle this.
125
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,656
Be sure I could use a friend right now.
126
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,680
Drew, leave the cake.
127
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:32,600
Lisa, there you are.
128
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:33,720
Congratulations.
129
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:34,780
Oh, thanks.
130
00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:35,940
Come here, Drew.
131
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:40,100
Listen, I just want to tell you,
I'm really touched.
132
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:43,214
You know, if the tables were
turned and you were getting
133
00:05:43,215 --> 00:05:45,660
married, I don't know if I
could be so cool about it.
134
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,620
And here you are, throwing me and Trent a
party.
135
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:48,380
Trent?
136
00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:50,540
You're marrying Trent in men's
furnishings?
137
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,140
That's what I said when I first heard
about it.
138
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,160
Here I am, still saying it.
139
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,720
Hey, let's open my gifts.
140
00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:59,460
Oh, look, you guys, this one's from
church.
141
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,896
I think I got you the wrong size.
142
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:01,540
Let me just take that back.
143
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:02,020
Don't be silly.
144
00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:03,180
Do you know my size?
145
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,847
Though things may be
sagging and your sex drive is
146
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:15,280
lagging, I'll still be bragging
what a hot number you were.
147
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,080
Come on, I wouldn't be that insensitive.
148
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:22,720
Gotta prefer...
149
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:29,100
I can't believe Lisa's getting married
only three months after we broke up.
150
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,340
How could that happen so fast?
151
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,160
Buddy, take it from me.
152
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,140
The best thing to do is just to wish her
well and move on.
153
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,480
Like the time you tried to run over your
ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend?
154
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,765
Hey, if she didn't want
to get hit, she shouldn't
155
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:43,800
have been weaving all
over her front lawn like that.
156
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,260
Hey, guys.
157
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,380
You guys are worn out.
158
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,280
That damn Santa's been riding us all day.
159
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,896
You know, we shouldn't have to put up with
this garbage on our second jobs.
160
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,850
I mean, we've been busting
our homes all day, picking
161
00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:06,881
up kids, giving them candy
canes, and what do we get?
162
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:09,180
Mommy, mommy, the giant bean is grabbing
me.
163
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,180
Hello.
164
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,340
What's for you?
165
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:16,940
Who is it?
166
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,320
Santa.
167
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,500
How did he know we'd be at your house?
168
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,240
He knows when you were sleeping.
169
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:24,580
He knows when you were awake.
170
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,720
Hello.
171
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,620
Yes, I'll accept the charges.
172
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000
Yes, Santa.
173
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,100
No, Santa.
174
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:35,380
Sorry, Santa.
175
00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:37,620
What is it?
176
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,060
Santa's one phone caller.
177
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,500
Apparently, he woke up in the parking lot
of the Capri Lounge in a bad way.
178
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,400
He wants us to bail him out?
179
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,020
Yeah, yeah.
180
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,200
But the good news is, we might see
ourselves on cops.
181
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,320
Oh, yeah.
182
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:53,870
Good move, Bec.
183
00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:54,190
You're here.
184
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,610
I need you to distribute the Christmas
bonuses.
185
00:07:56,611 --> 00:07:57,630
Oh, sure.
186
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:01,650
A tree will be planted in your name for
the tree foundation.
187
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,010
Where do all those trees go, anyway?
188
00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:05,610
No, pretty much around my house.
189
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:06,750
I'm landscaping.
190
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:12,990
So, Mr. Wick, are you excited about the
Winford Ladder Christmas party?
191
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:16,790
Sadly, I don't have a date.
192
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:21,150
You know, I just had a crazy thought.
193
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,471
If you're not doing
anything... Yes?
194
00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:26,710
That'd be my guard.
195
00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:27,970
We'll talk later.
196
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:31,710
Damn.
197
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,190
I was so close, he was going to ask me to
the party.
198
00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:35,290
I just know it.
199
00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:36,830
Oh, I'm tingling all over.
200
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,050
Oh, holy night.
201
00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:46,270
All right.
202
00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:47,790
So, where was I looking for?
203
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:48,170
Oh, yeah.
204
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:49,410
A place to throw up.
205
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,150
Oh, gee.
206
00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:52,990
And I did something nice for you.
207
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,716
I ran your firing program
through the computer,
208
00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:58,391
and the first two lucky
firees are on their way up.
209
00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,846
You said both guys up at once?
210
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,246
I can't fire two people at the same time.
211
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,310
It's going to be horrible.
212
00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:03,530
Oh, I'm sorry.
213
00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:04,730
What was I looking for?
214
00:09:05,030 --> 00:09:05,530
Oh, yeah.
215
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:07,050
A way to screw you.
216
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:09,910
Hey, Drew.
217
00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:11,190
Oh, hi, Stan.
218
00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:12,370
Listen, I have a seat.
219
00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:14,066
I just got to tell somebody to wait in the
lobby.
220
00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:14,710
Thank you, time.
221
00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:16,490
I was just smoking in the lounge anyway.
222
00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:17,490
Yeah, I know.
223
00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:18,750
It's against the rules.
224
00:09:19,610 --> 00:09:20,610
Hey, my formula works.
225
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:21,930
Hey, Drew.
226
00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:22,630
Hey, Trent.
227
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:23,910
There's my Lisa's fiancé.
228
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,490
What are you doing up here?
229
00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,310
Well, Mimi said you wanted to see me.
230
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:27,790
Mimi.
231
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,450
Hey, listen, by the way, thank you for the
wedding gift.
232
00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:34,610
For an ex-boyfriend, you are really cool.
233
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:36,230
Oh, hey, Stan.
234
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,190
What, Drew called you up here,
too, huh?
235
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:39,230
Uh-huh.
236
00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:41,810
Are we employees of the month?
237
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:49,710
Actually, Trent, I called you up here to
tell you what a great job you're doing.
238
00:09:49,711 --> 00:09:51,150
Oh, keep up the good work.
239
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:51,650
Oh, cool.
240
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:57,251
I'd like to stick around and chat, but I
think I might have left my register open.
241
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,130
Hey, why are you down here?
242
00:09:58,190 --> 00:09:59,230
Would you close mine, too?
243
00:09:59,330 --> 00:09:59,970
Yeah, sure, Stan.
244
00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:00,670
See you later, Drew.
245
00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:01,930
Thanks.
246
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:03,950
Oh, man.
247
00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:07,610
So, Stan, I bet you're wondering why I
called you up here.
248
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,290
All right.
249
00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:13,210
I know a guy who can get you some stuff,
but you've got to pay up front.
250
00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,770
First, let me thank you for making this
moment so much easier.
251
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:22,010
Secondly, how'd you like to stay home and
smoke all day long?
252
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:22,610
Oh, man.
253
00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:23,770
I would love that.
254
00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:25,050
Oh, Merry Christmas.
255
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:26,110
Thanks.
256
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,070
Merry Christmas.
257
00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:30,490
Merry Christmas.
258
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:31,730
Merry Christmas.
259
00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:35,550
Look, Santa, we're bringing the kids in
and out as fast as we can.
260
00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:38,270
You kick me in the ass one more time and I
quit.
261
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,810
Yeah, and stop calling me the dumb one.
262
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:41,890
The dumb one has a name.
263
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,010
It's Oswald.
264
00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:47,950
Hey, look, for 11 months out of the year,
I'm just a fat old man.
265
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,650
But for one month, I'm king.
266
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,850
This is my time.
267
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,970
Now bring in another kid, and this time,
no wetlands.
268
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:58,050
The next kid that cuts the cheese on Santa
gets five bucks, pass it on.
269
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,170
Hey, Elfie, right here.
270
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,590
Hey, don't take a picture of me doing
that.
271
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,470
I could lose my job in New Rock.
272
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:06,450
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
273
00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:07,410
No, no, this is the one.
274
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,730
Now I got proof here that Santa's a
jackass.
275
00:11:09,731 --> 00:11:10,850
Okay, come on, guys.
276
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:11,430
Stand here.
277
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,730
Stand here.
278
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,370
Come on, Santa's nose looks like a road
map.
279
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:16,630
Look at that, huh?
280
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,010
Break it up, break it up.
281
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:21,950
Jeez, I didn't know Santa's village needed
a bouncer.
282
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:23,310
Hey, dude.
283
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,426
Hey, oh, Melissa, I'm glad to see you.
284
00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:26,450
Come on, we need to talk.
285
00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,490
Okay, but first let me thank you.
286
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:31,250
Trent said you told him what a great job
he's doing.
287
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:32,510
You didn't have to do that.
288
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:35,650
You know, the one thing you never failed
to do is surprise me.
289
00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:37,730
Well, here we go again.
290
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,230
I called him up to fire him.
291
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:42,110
What?
292
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:43,150
Hold on, let me explain.
293
00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,539
See, I came up with this
totally objective formula
294
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,550
to determine which
employees deserve to be fired.
295
00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:51,150
Oh, sure, and somehow coincidentally it
pointed to the man that I'm going to marry?
296
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,129
No, the coincidence
is you're about to marry
297
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,831
one of the two guys
who sucks at his job.
298
00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:57,070
You're jealous!
299
00:11:57,230 --> 00:11:58,230
I am not.
300
00:11:58,350 --> 00:11:58,970
All right, fine.
301
00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,246
If you're not jealous,
then sit down with him and
302
00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:03,791
tell him what he needs
to do to save this job.
303
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,250
Okay, I'll talk to him, but this is not
about jealousy.
304
00:12:06,251 --> 00:12:08,930
You know, I haven't exactly been sitting
at home since we broke up.
305
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:12,290
I got dumped by a married woman,
had a couple of uncomfortable dates,
306
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,570
and there are several very attractive
women who, in a moment of weakness,
307
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:18,846
or after just the right number of drinks,
might possibly consider going out with me.
308
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,430
So don't you feel sorry for Drew Carey?
309
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:23,370
Drew, I need some petty cash for Santa.
310
00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:28,111
He wants a bucket of chicken, a carton of
smokes, and some medicine from Al's liquor.
311
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,610
I'm not buying Santa booze.
312
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,910
Come on, Drew, you can fire him tomorrow.
313
00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,570
Right now, the guy's in a bad way.
314
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:37,410
Santa's starting to leave Las Vegas,
if you know what I mean.
315
00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:43,648
All right, if I am a small
bottle of peppermint schnapps,
316
00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:45,866
his breath will smell like
he's been eating candy canes.
317
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,543
I hope you're planning
on bathing him in it, too,
318
00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:49,871
because his breath is
just a tip of the iceberg.
319
00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:56,270
Hey, Kate.
320
00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:57,450
Uh, hi.
321
00:12:57,790 --> 00:12:58,790
Wait.
322
00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:04,230
You know, we haven't had much time to
talk, you know, woman to woman.
323
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:06,450
I time my breaks that way.
324
00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:12,710
Well, maybe I deserve that, but I don't
have that many women friends, so if you
325
00:13:12,711 --> 00:13:16,950
could just grow up and kind of put some of
the things I've said about you aside,
326
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:18,250
I need some advice.
327
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:19,570
What's up?
328
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,950
Well, you know how men are naturally
attracted to me?
329
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:29,570
Well, there's this one guy who's having a
hard time working up the nerve to tell me.
330
00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:31,130
Who is it?
331
00:13:31,131 --> 00:13:34,350
Oh, like I'm gonna tell you, Miss Easy
Pants Romance.
332
00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,430
All right.
333
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:36,950
Sorry.
334
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:37,990
Sorry.
335
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:38,670
Sorry.
336
00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:42,150
If you could just, you know, put that
aside, too.
337
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,150
Fine.
338
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,650
Well, there's nothing wrong with the woman
making the first move.
339
00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:50,666
Tell them you're not into playing games.
340
00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:53,150
It's just I like you and I want to go out.
341
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,330
What do you say?
342
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:55,870
Well, that was worth it.
343
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:58,090
I was looking for a spell or a trick.
344
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:00,070
Never mind.
345
00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:08,060
So, Mr. Wick, I need to ask you something.
346
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,820
I need to ask you something.
347
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,500
It's about the Christmas party.
348
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,260
As you know, I'm somewhat shy.
349
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,300
Well, you know what they say about the shy
ones.
350
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:19,640
No.
351
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:20,780
What do they say?
352
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:23,960
Good lord, moment.
353
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,100
You've got a mouth that would make a
street walker blush.
354
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,380
Speaking of street walker blush, that's
a very provocative color, you've shown.
355
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,820
Looks even nicer in the morning.
356
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,700
Let me get to the point, Mimi.
357
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:44,927
There are quite a few
ladies that I'd like to
358
00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:47,760
ask out, but I've never
been very good at it.
359
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,740
So, here's a list of 25 ladies I'm too shy
to call.
360
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,700
You want me to call these women and invite
them to the Christmas party for you?
361
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,640
Oh, well, boy, that's a lot to ask.
362
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,080
But you're a nice guy, so, sure,
I'll do it.
363
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,360
You're a good soldier.
364
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,520
Carry on.
365
00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:26,120
Is this Tanya?
366
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:28,440
Oh, I'm calling for Mr. Nigel Wick.
367
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,960
Have you been itching in any sensitive
areas lately?
368
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,300
No?
369
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,120
Oh, well, that's all he wanted to know.
370
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:38,121
Good luck.
371
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,300
Bye-bye.
372
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:42,680
Hey, Drew.
373
00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,480
Oh, man, I feel so bad about Stan.
374
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,300
Here I was gloating, and he's about to get
the axe.
375
00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:51,660
Well, they never see it coming,
do they?
376
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,100
So, what's up?
377
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,440
I got to tell you, Tron, you're not doing
so well.
378
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,620
What do you mean?
379
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,296
Yesterday you said I was doing terrific.
380
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,760
Yeah, but I reassessed a few things.
381
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,340
The absences, the lateness.
382
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:05,860
Leaving your counter to look at an
accident outside.
383
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,080
I know.
384
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:07,640
I know.
385
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,076
I've been slacking off a little lately.
386
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:12,440
But, you know, Drew, this isn't exactly my
dream job.
387
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:13,856
Well, maybe that's your problem.
388
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,000
I mean, look at your resume.
389
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,320
All in one year.
390
00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:20,060
A paralegal, a gardener, ice sculptor,
acupuncturist, career counselor.
391
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:24,160
You know, if things have a better chance
of working out, if you just decide what
392
00:16:24,161 --> 00:16:27,000
you want before you make a commitment,
you know, you need stability.
393
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,516
You're about to get married.
394
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,080
Yeah, and I'm rushing into that,
too.
395
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,240
Oh, God.
396
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:35,280
Oh, God, Drew, you're right.
397
00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:37,380
I'm making the same mistake I always make.
398
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:37,700
What?
399
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:38,620
Oh, no, no, no, no.
400
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,796
I was just talking about work.
401
00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:42,496
In your private life, you should just be
as reckless as you want to be.
402
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,220
No, no, no, no.
403
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,020
Drew, you're on to something here.
404
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,260
Hey, you know, I took one of those
aptitude tests once.
405
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,520
It said I should travel.
406
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,400
And what am I doing?
407
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,120
I'm stuck in a do-nothing job about to get
married.
408
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,120
Drew, the thing said I had potential.
409
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:55,620
Oh, potential isn't good.
410
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,645
That's what they tell
high school kids to make
411
00:16:56,646 --> 00:16:58,741
them work harder when
they're really just dummies.
412
00:16:58,940 --> 00:16:59,320
Forget them.
413
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,740
You're getting married.
414
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:01,720
I can't do this, Drew.
415
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:02,420
Sure you can.
416
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,040
What are you worried about?
417
00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:04,400
You have a job here.
418
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,801
Let me make it easy for you.
419
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,180
I quit.
420
00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:14,410
Yeah, this is Drew Carey.
421
00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:15,550
Can I talk to Lisa, please?
422
00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:17,330
She's in the bridal department.
423
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,151
Oh, well, at least she hasn't made out her
invitation yet.
424
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:21,050
Oh.
425
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,950
Well, at least she hasn't put a deposit on
her wedding dress.
426
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:25,370
What?
427
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,460
It's not my fault.
428
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,520
Oh, my God, you look beautiful.
429
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:36,560
Thanks.
430
00:17:36,561 --> 00:17:37,561
What's not your fault?
431
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,685
That you're the sweetest,
most understanding,
432
00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:42,881
forgiving person in
the whole wide world.
433
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:44,400
Oh, my God!
434
00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:45,060
You did it!
435
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,120
You fired him!
436
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,076
Drew, do you know how bad this is going to
look?
437
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,460
You getting beaten up by a bride in the
middle of the store?
438
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:51,780
I didn't fire him.
439
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:52,916
If you're going to hit anybody,
hit Trent.
440
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:54,516
He's the one who's backing out of marrying
you.
441
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,540
What?
442
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,960
Hey, better now than at the altar.
443
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,360
What the hell did you say to him?
444
00:17:59,060 --> 00:17:59,380
Nothing.
445
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,544
We were just talking about
how he rushes into things, then
446
00:18:01,545 --> 00:18:03,721
all of a sudden he decided
he didn't want to get married.
447
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,000
You are jealous.
448
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:06,860
You just can't let me go, can you?
449
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:08,060
Oh, you should talk.
450
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,736
You're the one that's having a hard time
getting over me.
451
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,000
What?
452
00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:13,580
Rushing into a marriage you're not ready
for into a guy who doesn't even have a job.
453
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,060
What do you mean he doesn't even have a
job?
454
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,400
Oh, yeah.
455
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,836
There's something else I forgot to tell
you.
456
00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:19,860
He quit.
457
00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:20,300
All right.
458
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:20,960
I've heard enough.
459
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:21,580
Let's go.
460
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,020
What do you want?
461
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,120
Face or stomach?
462
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:25,820
Drew, I have to talk to you.
463
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:26,160
Hi.
464
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:27,740
Not now.
465
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:30,900
Drew, Santa's dead.
466
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:33,660
Oh, my God.
467
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:34,900
Our store, Santa?
468
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:35,540
What happened?
469
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,060
Where is he?
470
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:37,260
He's still on the throne.
471
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,480
We put the ropes around him so the kids
can't get in.
472
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,843
We told him Santa's
having a little nap with
473
00:18:41,844 --> 00:18:44,321
his eyes open because
he's always watching you.
474
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:46,980
What are you doing?
475
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,660
Who's watching Santa?
476
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,140
Don't worry.
477
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,640
I found a way to distract the kids.
478
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,180
What are they doing?
479
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,220
They're having a staring contest with
Santa.
480
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,290
Hey, guys.
481
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,390
Hey, me.
482
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:04,010
Oh, my God.
483
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,530
I heard what happened to you guys.
484
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:06,810
Poor Santa.
485
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:11,570
And I can't believe his last words were,
and to all, a good night.
486
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:13,990
Actually, that's just what we told the
kids.
487
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:17,290
His real last words were, I'll see you in
hell, as well.
488
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,650
Maybe there's a message here.
489
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,610
You shouldn't be mean and abusive,
especially at Christmas time.
490
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,238
Or maybe you shouldn't eat
just pork and cheese and wash
491
00:19:27,239 --> 00:19:29,251
it down with a pack of
smokes and a quart full of gin.
492
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,330
Yeah.
493
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,252
But I'm still holding my
theory that you can eat
494
00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:36,431
anything you want as
long as you just walk a little.
495
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,510
Coming!
496
00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,330
Hey, I'm walking to the door.
497
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:43,510
Now I can have more chips.
498
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:46,870
Lisa.
499
00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:48,690
Hi, Drew.
500
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:50,230
So, where were we?
501
00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:52,650
I just ruined your marriage and your life.
502
00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:55,850
So... okay, stomach, I guess.
503
00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:58,090
I'm not gonna hit you.
504
00:19:58,170 --> 00:19:59,170
I'm not mad.
505
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,770
Trent told me it wasn't your fault.
506
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:03,690
Oh, God, I'm glad I heard you say that.
507
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,990
You know, I don't want to say anything,
but, you know, jumping from job to job,
508
00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:09,990
able to sleep, walking through life,
frankly, I think he's kind of flaky.
509
00:20:10,430 --> 00:20:12,730
And let's face it, he's no Weinstein,
so...
510
00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:14,570
Drew, he's in the car.
511
00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:15,730
We're eloping.
512
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:18,510
Oh.
513
00:20:18,511 --> 00:20:19,970
Okay, stomach again, I guess.
514
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:25,190
Look, he said it wasn't your fault,
and he just freaked out a little,
515
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,330
but now we're okay.
516
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:27,310
Oh.
517
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:28,210
Well, that's great.
518
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,030
Let me go congratulate him.
519
00:20:29,031 --> 00:20:29,890
No, no, no.
520
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,030
Stay with me.
521
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,270
Right.
522
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:33,330
So, where are you going?
523
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:35,608
We're gonna drive up
to Niagara, get married,
524
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,091
and then take a driving
trip across Canada.
525
00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:42,191
And then Trent's gonna take some time off
to decide what he wants to do for a career.
526
00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:43,590
Oh, man, no.
527
00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:45,610
That's great.
528
00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:47,630
I'm really happy for you.
529
00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:49,530
Thanks.
530
00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:53,230
I should get going.
531
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:56,850
Oh, wait, I didn't even get you a wedding
present.
532
00:20:59,010 --> 00:20:59,430
Here.
533
00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:00,431
Why don't you take these?
534
00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:02,090
It's cold up there.
535
00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:04,950
I'm gonna miss you.
536
00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:06,950
What?
537
00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:08,710
Hold on, wait a second.
538
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:11,450
If you don't want your naked pictures
back, say, huh.
539
00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:13,390
Huh?
540
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,360
Just kidding.
541
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:19,700
Take care of yourself.
542
00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:45,140
Hey, Lewis.
543
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,360
Check it out.
544
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,520
Hey, they're cute.
545
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,360
Uh-huh.
546
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560
They're looking at us.
547
00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,490
Uh, Lewis, I think I know what they're
staring at.
548
00:21:58,310 --> 00:21:59,310
What?
549
00:21:59,550 --> 00:22:01,070
You got a piece of popcorn, actor.
550
00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:01,390
Right here?
551
00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:02,590
Yeah.
552
00:22:03,210 --> 00:22:03,450
Thanks.
553
00:22:03,950 --> 00:22:04,950
Ready?
36976
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