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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,660 Look, you guys are the best Christmas elves I've ever had, but I can't afford to 2 00:00:04,661 --> 00:00:06,176 pay you more than ten bucks an hour this year. 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,200 I'm really sorry. 4 00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:09,380 It's fifteen dollars, or we walk. 5 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:10,956 I'm trying to be fair here. 6 00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:12,036 I mean, who gets you guys benefits? 7 00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:12,920 Who gets you off-season work? 8 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,020 And here you are, trying to cut me off at the knees. 9 00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:19,420 I didn't mean it that way, and you know it. 10 00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:21,580 Yeah, I know it, Drew. 11 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:24,120 And I'm sure the management's not just trying to get fat. 12 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,200 Oh, and I didn't mean it that way. 13 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:27,380 And you know it. 14 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,200 Look, how about eleven bucks an hour? 15 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,176 But you have to know that means I'm screwing over the Easter Bunny. 16 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,000 Yeah, like he brings in the kids. 17 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,340 Wow, eleven bucks an hour? 18 00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:36,420 We'll do it for that. 19 00:00:36,860 --> 00:00:37,860 Hey, look, giraffe boy. 20 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,680 The job description says, elf. 21 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:43,320 Now, metal midget? 22 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:44,040 That's another story. 23 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,360 Hey! 24 00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:46,936 Hold on, there's no problem here. 25 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,216 My friends aren't competing for your jobs. 26 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,240 I mean, look at them. 27 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,640 Now you're just being a hattest. 28 00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:52,820 Oh, that's me. 29 00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,260 Okay, guys, we got it. 30 00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:55,860 Let's go. 31 00:00:55,861 --> 00:00:56,440 Hey, wait a minute. 32 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:56,920 Where are you going? 33 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,760 I told Saks to call at the meet-up price of fifteen an hour. 34 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,200 And I'm hoping they'll pay us under the table. 35 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,180 Shut up. 36 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,440 Well, well, well. 37 00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:08,820 Ha, ha, ha. 38 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,200 Suddenly we don't look so tall, huh, Drew? 39 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,420 Man, I need somebody right away. 40 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,180 We could use the extra Christmas cash. 41 00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:15,880 What do you say? 42 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,300 What, are you serious? 43 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,520 Okay, I got the jobs. 44 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,720 Is this one catch? 45 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:22,760 Whoa. 46 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,460 Looks like we're gonna be sexy elves. 47 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:23,640 Something wrong, sir? 48 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,300 Tell me something, Kerry. 49 00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,860 What are some of the more imaginative ways I fire people? 50 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,280 Well, the price is right of your fire. 51 00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:31,340 It is pretty novel. 52 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,090 And who could ever forget the famous halftime show you put 53 00:02:34,091 --> 00:02:36,421 on for the guy who called in a sick from the Ohio State game? 54 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:37,700 Two, four, six, eight. 55 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:38,976 Who'll be living off the state? 56 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,200 It's you. 57 00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:39,840 It's you. 58 00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,180 It's you. 59 00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:43,260 Better days, Kerry. 60 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,500 Better days. 61 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:51,460 I haven't told anyone this, but I went to Fire Hutchison this morning, and I... 62 00:02:51,461 --> 00:02:52,940 I just didn't have the old stuff. 63 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,760 You mean you didn't fire them? 64 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,700 Ha, ha, ha. 65 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,480 Don't get me wrong, I fired them all right. 66 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,322 But afterwards, I didn't run over to the window and 67 00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:03,860 enjoy the inevitable temper tantrum in the parking lot. 68 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:07,600 I just sat there, cradling my water balloon, thinking, what's the point? 69 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,480 Well, it's funny you should bring that up now, sir, because I've come up with a 70 00:03:11,481 --> 00:03:13,820 system for downsizing that's less random and more humane. 71 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,040 See, here's what we do. 72 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:18,120 We take the employee's number of days missed multiplied by the number of days 73 00:03:18,121 --> 00:03:20,940 late divided by seniority plus the number of customer complaints. 74 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:22,840 Okay. 75 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,020 Use your formula to reduce the workforce by three 76 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:27,401 percent, or it's back to the finger of fate. 77 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,300 Can we factor in stupid glasses and see who that knocks out? 78 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,820 Why, Birkbeck, sometimes you're just plain evil. 79 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,900 Why, thank you, sir. 80 00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,820 Here's a question I don't want to answer to. 81 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,500 Are you just flirting with him? 82 00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:50,480 Fight me, giant drummer boy. 83 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,000 Oh, by the way, here's your invitation to the office Christmas party. 84 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:56,860 Thanks. 85 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,360 Who are you bringing? 86 00:03:58,420 --> 00:03:59,740 I'll pause here for your dignity. 87 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,780 Don't worry about me. 88 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,340 I got my eye on somebody. 89 00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:06,140 Who's your date? 90 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,760 Putting a skirt on your dog? 91 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,600 You know, you really know how to hurt a guy, Mimi. 92 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,060 You know, you're tapping into a lot of pain and vulnerability here. 93 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:21,420 No, no, I'm serious. 94 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:23,940 I'm not setting you up. 95 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,400 I'm all alone for the holidays. 96 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:26,960 It's really bringing me down. 97 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,540 Oh, knock it off. 98 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:29,920 Nobody's believing you. 99 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:31,340 Ooh, boo, hoo, hoo. 100 00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:36,860 Those the weasel. 101 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:42,580 Hey, good looking. 102 00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:43,260 Hey, Drew. 103 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,120 I actually was talking to the cake. 104 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,460 Congratulations, Lisa. 105 00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,836 Hard to believe she's getting married, huh? 106 00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,860 I guess some couples are just meant to be, I guess. 107 00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:52,580 Wow. 108 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:54,620 Drew, I'm really proud of you. 109 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:58,020 I mean, throwing Lisa a wedding shower, for God's sake, that's really classy. 110 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,756 Well, I'm glad she's getting married. 111 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,156 I mean, she doesn't spring chicken anymore. 112 00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:02,180 What is she, 70? 113 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:03,840 Drew, who are we talking about? 114 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,300 Lisa, in appliances. 115 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:09,880 No, the person that's getting married is Lisa, Lisa, your ex-girlfriend. 116 00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:11,820 Lisa? 117 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:12,740 My Lisa? 118 00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:14,240 Oh, oh, my God, Drew. 119 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,600 I thought you knew. 120 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,720 You're not still attached to her, are you? 121 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,240 No, I'm not attached to my Lisa at all. 122 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,500 Oh, man. 123 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,800 Just get out of here. 124 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:24,960 I'll handle this. 125 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,656 Be sure I could use a friend right now. 126 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,680 Drew, leave the cake. 127 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:32,600 Lisa, there you are. 128 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:33,720 Congratulations. 129 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:34,780 Oh, thanks. 130 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:35,940 Come here, Drew. 131 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:40,100 Listen, I just want to tell you, I'm really touched. 132 00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:43,214 You know, if the tables were turned and you were getting 133 00:05:43,215 --> 00:05:45,660 married, I don't know if I could be so cool about it. 134 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,620 And here you are, throwing me and Trent a party. 135 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:48,380 Trent? 136 00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:50,540 You're marrying Trent in men's furnishings? 137 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,140 That's what I said when I first heard about it. 138 00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,160 Here I am, still saying it. 139 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,720 Hey, let's open my gifts. 140 00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:59,460 Oh, look, you guys, this one's from church. 141 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,896 I think I got you the wrong size. 142 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:01,540 Let me just take that back. 143 00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:02,020 Don't be silly. 144 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:03,180 Do you know my size? 145 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,847 Though things may be sagging and your sex drive is 146 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:15,280 lagging, I'll still be bragging what a hot number you were. 147 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,080 Come on, I wouldn't be that insensitive. 148 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:22,720 Gotta prefer... 149 00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:29,100 I can't believe Lisa's getting married only three months after we broke up. 150 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,340 How could that happen so fast? 151 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,160 Buddy, take it from me. 152 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,140 The best thing to do is just to wish her well and move on. 153 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,480 Like the time you tried to run over your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend? 154 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,765 Hey, if she didn't want to get hit, she shouldn't 155 00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:43,800 have been weaving all over her front lawn like that. 156 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,260 Hey, guys. 157 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,380 You guys are worn out. 158 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,280 That damn Santa's been riding us all day. 159 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,896 You know, we shouldn't have to put up with this garbage on our second jobs. 160 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,850 I mean, we've been busting our homes all day, picking 161 00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:06,881 up kids, giving them candy canes, and what do we get? 162 00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:09,180 Mommy, mommy, the giant bean is grabbing me. 163 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,180 Hello. 164 00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,340 What's for you? 165 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:16,940 Who is it? 166 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,320 Santa. 167 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,500 How did he know we'd be at your house? 168 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,240 He knows when you were sleeping. 169 00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:24,580 He knows when you were awake. 170 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,720 Hello. 171 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,620 Yes, I'll accept the charges. 172 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 Yes, Santa. 173 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,100 No, Santa. 174 00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:35,380 Sorry, Santa. 175 00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:37,620 What is it? 176 00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,060 Santa's one phone caller. 177 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,500 Apparently, he woke up in the parking lot of the Capri Lounge in a bad way. 178 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,400 He wants us to bail him out? 179 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,020 Yeah, yeah. 180 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,200 But the good news is, we might see ourselves on cops. 181 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,320 Oh, yeah. 182 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:53,870 Good move, Bec. 183 00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:54,190 You're here. 184 00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,610 I need you to distribute the Christmas bonuses. 185 00:07:56,611 --> 00:07:57,630 Oh, sure. 186 00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:01,650 A tree will be planted in your name for the tree foundation. 187 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,010 Where do all those trees go, anyway? 188 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:05,610 No, pretty much around my house. 189 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:06,750 I'm landscaping. 190 00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:12,990 So, Mr. Wick, are you excited about the Winford Ladder Christmas party? 191 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:16,790 Sadly, I don't have a date. 192 00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:21,150 You know, I just had a crazy thought. 193 00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,471 If you're not doing anything... Yes? 194 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:26,710 That'd be my guard. 195 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:27,970 We'll talk later. 196 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:31,710 Damn. 197 00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,190 I was so close, he was going to ask me to the party. 198 00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:35,290 I just know it. 199 00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:36,830 Oh, I'm tingling all over. 200 00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,050 Oh, holy night. 201 00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:46,270 All right. 202 00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:47,790 So, where was I looking for? 203 00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:48,170 Oh, yeah. 204 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:49,410 A place to throw up. 205 00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:51,150 Oh, gee. 206 00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:52,990 And I did something nice for you. 207 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,716 I ran your firing program through the computer, 208 00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:58,391 and the first two lucky firees are on their way up. 209 00:08:58,830 --> 00:08:59,846 You said both guys up at once? 210 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,246 I can't fire two people at the same time. 211 00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,310 It's going to be horrible. 212 00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:03,530 Oh, I'm sorry. 213 00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:04,730 What was I looking for? 214 00:09:05,030 --> 00:09:05,530 Oh, yeah. 215 00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:07,050 A way to screw you. 216 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:09,910 Hey, Drew. 217 00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:11,190 Oh, hi, Stan. 218 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:12,370 Listen, I have a seat. 219 00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:14,066 I just got to tell somebody to wait in the lobby. 220 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:14,710 Thank you, time. 221 00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:16,490 I was just smoking in the lounge anyway. 222 00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:17,490 Yeah, I know. 223 00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:18,750 It's against the rules. 224 00:09:19,610 --> 00:09:20,610 Hey, my formula works. 225 00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:21,930 Hey, Drew. 226 00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:22,630 Hey, Trent. 227 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:23,910 There's my Lisa's fiancé. 228 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,490 What are you doing up here? 229 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,310 Well, Mimi said you wanted to see me. 230 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:27,790 Mimi. 231 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,450 Hey, listen, by the way, thank you for the wedding gift. 232 00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:34,610 For an ex-boyfriend, you are really cool. 233 00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:36,230 Oh, hey, Stan. 234 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,190 What, Drew called you up here, too, huh? 235 00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:39,230 Uh-huh. 236 00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:41,810 Are we employees of the month? 237 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:49,710 Actually, Trent, I called you up here to tell you what a great job you're doing. 238 00:09:49,711 --> 00:09:51,150 Oh, keep up the good work. 239 00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:51,650 Oh, cool. 240 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:57,251 I'd like to stick around and chat, but I think I might have left my register open. 241 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,130 Hey, why are you down here? 242 00:09:58,190 --> 00:09:59,230 Would you close mine, too? 243 00:09:59,330 --> 00:09:59,970 Yeah, sure, Stan. 244 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:00,670 See you later, Drew. 245 00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:01,930 Thanks. 246 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:03,950 Oh, man. 247 00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:07,610 So, Stan, I bet you're wondering why I called you up here. 248 00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,290 All right. 249 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:13,210 I know a guy who can get you some stuff, but you've got to pay up front. 250 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,770 First, let me thank you for making this moment so much easier. 251 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:22,010 Secondly, how'd you like to stay home and smoke all day long? 252 00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:22,610 Oh, man. 253 00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:23,770 I would love that. 254 00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:25,050 Oh, Merry Christmas. 255 00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:26,110 Thanks. 256 00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,070 Merry Christmas. 257 00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:30,490 Merry Christmas. 258 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:31,730 Merry Christmas. 259 00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:35,550 Look, Santa, we're bringing the kids in and out as fast as we can. 260 00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:38,270 You kick me in the ass one more time and I quit. 261 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,810 Yeah, and stop calling me the dumb one. 262 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:41,890 The dumb one has a name. 263 00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,010 It's Oswald. 264 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:47,950 Hey, look, for 11 months out of the year, I'm just a fat old man. 265 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,650 But for one month, I'm king. 266 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,850 This is my time. 267 00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,970 Now bring in another kid, and this time, no wetlands. 268 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:58,050 The next kid that cuts the cheese on Santa gets five bucks, pass it on. 269 00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,170 Hey, Elfie, right here. 270 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,590 Hey, don't take a picture of me doing that. 271 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,470 I could lose my job in New Rock. 272 00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:06,450 Gimme, gimme, gimme. 273 00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:07,410 No, no, this is the one. 274 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,730 Now I got proof here that Santa's a jackass. 275 00:11:09,731 --> 00:11:10,850 Okay, come on, guys. 276 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:11,430 Stand here. 277 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,730 Stand here. 278 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,370 Come on, Santa's nose looks like a road map. 279 00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:16,630 Look at that, huh? 280 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,010 Break it up, break it up. 281 00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:21,950 Jeez, I didn't know Santa's village needed a bouncer. 282 00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:23,310 Hey, dude. 283 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:25,426 Hey, oh, Melissa, I'm glad to see you. 284 00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:26,450 Come on, we need to talk. 285 00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,490 Okay, but first let me thank you. 286 00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:31,250 Trent said you told him what a great job he's doing. 287 00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:32,510 You didn't have to do that. 288 00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:35,650 You know, the one thing you never failed to do is surprise me. 289 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:37,730 Well, here we go again. 290 00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,230 I called him up to fire him. 291 00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:42,110 What? 292 00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:43,150 Hold on, let me explain. 293 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,539 See, I came up with this totally objective formula 294 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,550 to determine which employees deserve to be fired. 295 00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:51,150 Oh, sure, and somehow coincidentally it pointed to the man that I'm going to marry? 296 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,129 No, the coincidence is you're about to marry 297 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,831 one of the two guys who sucks at his job. 298 00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:57,070 You're jealous! 299 00:11:57,230 --> 00:11:58,230 I am not. 300 00:11:58,350 --> 00:11:58,970 All right, fine. 301 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,246 If you're not jealous, then sit down with him and 302 00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:03,791 tell him what he needs to do to save this job. 303 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,250 Okay, I'll talk to him, but this is not about jealousy. 304 00:12:06,251 --> 00:12:08,930 You know, I haven't exactly been sitting at home since we broke up. 305 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:12,290 I got dumped by a married woman, had a couple of uncomfortable dates, 306 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,570 and there are several very attractive women who, in a moment of weakness, 307 00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:18,846 or after just the right number of drinks, might possibly consider going out with me. 308 00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,430 So don't you feel sorry for Drew Carey? 309 00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:23,370 Drew, I need some petty cash for Santa. 310 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:28,111 He wants a bucket of chicken, a carton of smokes, and some medicine from Al's liquor. 311 00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,610 I'm not buying Santa booze. 312 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,910 Come on, Drew, you can fire him tomorrow. 313 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,570 Right now, the guy's in a bad way. 314 00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:37,410 Santa's starting to leave Las Vegas, if you know what I mean. 315 00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:43,648 All right, if I am a small bottle of peppermint schnapps, 316 00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:45,866 his breath will smell like he's been eating candy canes. 317 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,543 I hope you're planning on bathing him in it, too, 318 00:12:47,544 --> 00:12:49,871 because his breath is just a tip of the iceberg. 319 00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:56,270 Hey, Kate. 320 00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:57,450 Uh, hi. 321 00:12:57,790 --> 00:12:58,790 Wait. 322 00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:04,230 You know, we haven't had much time to talk, you know, woman to woman. 323 00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:06,450 I time my breaks that way. 324 00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:12,710 Well, maybe I deserve that, but I don't have that many women friends, so if you 325 00:13:12,711 --> 00:13:16,950 could just grow up and kind of put some of the things I've said about you aside, 326 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:18,250 I need some advice. 327 00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:19,570 What's up? 328 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,950 Well, you know how men are naturally attracted to me? 329 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:29,570 Well, there's this one guy who's having a hard time working up the nerve to tell me. 330 00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:31,130 Who is it? 331 00:13:31,131 --> 00:13:34,350 Oh, like I'm gonna tell you, Miss Easy Pants Romance. 332 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,430 All right. 333 00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:36,950 Sorry. 334 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:37,990 Sorry. 335 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:38,670 Sorry. 336 00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:42,150 If you could just, you know, put that aside, too. 337 00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,150 Fine. 338 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,650 Well, there's nothing wrong with the woman making the first move. 339 00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:50,666 Tell them you're not into playing games. 340 00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:53,150 It's just I like you and I want to go out. 341 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,330 What do you say? 342 00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:55,870 Well, that was worth it. 343 00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:58,090 I was looking for a spell or a trick. 344 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:00,070 Never mind. 345 00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:08,060 So, Mr. Wick, I need to ask you something. 346 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,820 I need to ask you something. 347 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,500 It's about the Christmas party. 348 00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,260 As you know, I'm somewhat shy. 349 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,300 Well, you know what they say about the shy ones. 350 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:19,640 No. 351 00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:20,780 What do they say? 352 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:23,960 Good lord, moment. 353 00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,100 You've got a mouth that would make a street walker blush. 354 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,380 Speaking of street walker blush, that's a very provocative color, you've shown. 355 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,820 Looks even nicer in the morning. 356 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,700 Let me get to the point, Mimi. 357 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:44,927 There are quite a few ladies that I'd like to 358 00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:47,760 ask out, but I've never been very good at it. 359 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,740 So, here's a list of 25 ladies I'm too shy to call. 360 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,700 You want me to call these women and invite them to the Christmas party for you? 361 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,640 Oh, well, boy, that's a lot to ask. 362 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,080 But you're a nice guy, so, sure, I'll do it. 363 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,360 You're a good soldier. 364 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,520 Carry on. 365 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:26,120 Is this Tanya? 366 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:28,440 Oh, I'm calling for Mr. Nigel Wick. 367 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,960 Have you been itching in any sensitive areas lately? 368 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,300 No? 369 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,120 Oh, well, that's all he wanted to know. 370 00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:38,121 Good luck. 371 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,300 Bye-bye. 372 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:42,680 Hey, Drew. 373 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,480 Oh, man, I feel so bad about Stan. 374 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,300 Here I was gloating, and he's about to get the axe. 375 00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:51,660 Well, they never see it coming, do they? 376 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,100 So, what's up? 377 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,440 I got to tell you, Tron, you're not doing so well. 378 00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,620 What do you mean? 379 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,296 Yesterday you said I was doing terrific. 380 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,760 Yeah, but I reassessed a few things. 381 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,340 The absences, the lateness. 382 00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:05,860 Leaving your counter to look at an accident outside. 383 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,080 I know. 384 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:07,640 I know. 385 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,076 I've been slacking off a little lately. 386 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:12,440 But, you know, Drew, this isn't exactly my dream job. 387 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:13,856 Well, maybe that's your problem. 388 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,000 I mean, look at your resume. 389 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,320 All in one year. 390 00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:20,060 A paralegal, a gardener, ice sculptor, acupuncturist, career counselor. 391 00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:24,160 You know, if things have a better chance of working out, if you just decide what 392 00:16:24,161 --> 00:16:27,000 you want before you make a commitment, you know, you need stability. 393 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,516 You're about to get married. 394 00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,080 Yeah, and I'm rushing into that, too. 395 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,240 Oh, God. 396 00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:35,280 Oh, God, Drew, you're right. 397 00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:37,380 I'm making the same mistake I always make. 398 00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:37,700 What? 399 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:38,620 Oh, no, no, no, no. 400 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,796 I was just talking about work. 401 00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:42,496 In your private life, you should just be as reckless as you want to be. 402 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,220 No, no, no, no. 403 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,020 Drew, you're on to something here. 404 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,260 Hey, you know, I took one of those aptitude tests once. 405 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,520 It said I should travel. 406 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,400 And what am I doing? 407 00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,120 I'm stuck in a do-nothing job about to get married. 408 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,120 Drew, the thing said I had potential. 409 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:55,620 Oh, potential isn't good. 410 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,645 That's what they tell high school kids to make 411 00:16:56,646 --> 00:16:58,741 them work harder when they're really just dummies. 412 00:16:58,940 --> 00:16:59,320 Forget them. 413 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,740 You're getting married. 414 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:01,720 I can't do this, Drew. 415 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:02,420 Sure you can. 416 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,040 What are you worried about? 417 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:04,400 You have a job here. 418 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,801 Let me make it easy for you. 419 00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,180 I quit. 420 00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:14,410 Yeah, this is Drew Carey. 421 00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:15,550 Can I talk to Lisa, please? 422 00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:17,330 She's in the bridal department. 423 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,151 Oh, well, at least she hasn't made out her invitation yet. 424 00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:21,050 Oh. 425 00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,950 Well, at least she hasn't put a deposit on her wedding dress. 426 00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:25,370 What? 427 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,460 It's not my fault. 428 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,520 Oh, my God, you look beautiful. 429 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:36,560 Thanks. 430 00:17:36,561 --> 00:17:37,561 What's not your fault? 431 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,685 That you're the sweetest, most understanding, 432 00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:42,881 forgiving person in the whole wide world. 433 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:44,400 Oh, my God! 434 00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:45,060 You did it! 435 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,120 You fired him! 436 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,076 Drew, do you know how bad this is going to look? 437 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,460 You getting beaten up by a bride in the middle of the store? 438 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:51,780 I didn't fire him. 439 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:52,916 If you're going to hit anybody, hit Trent. 440 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:54,516 He's the one who's backing out of marrying you. 441 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,540 What? 442 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,960 Hey, better now than at the altar. 443 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,360 What the hell did you say to him? 444 00:17:59,060 --> 00:17:59,380 Nothing. 445 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,544 We were just talking about how he rushes into things, then 446 00:18:01,545 --> 00:18:03,721 all of a sudden he decided he didn't want to get married. 447 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,000 You are jealous. 448 00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:06,860 You just can't let me go, can you? 449 00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:08,060 Oh, you should talk. 450 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,736 You're the one that's having a hard time getting over me. 451 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,000 What? 452 00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:13,580 Rushing into a marriage you're not ready for into a guy who doesn't even have a job. 453 00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,060 What do you mean he doesn't even have a job? 454 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,400 Oh, yeah. 455 00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,836 There's something else I forgot to tell you. 456 00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:19,860 He quit. 457 00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:20,300 All right. 458 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:20,960 I've heard enough. 459 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:21,580 Let's go. 460 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,020 What do you want? 461 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,120 Face or stomach? 462 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:25,820 Drew, I have to talk to you. 463 00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:26,160 Hi. 464 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:27,740 Not now. 465 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:30,900 Drew, Santa's dead. 466 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:33,660 Oh, my God. 467 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:34,900 Our store, Santa? 468 00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:35,540 What happened? 469 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,060 Where is he? 470 00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:37,260 He's still on the throne. 471 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,480 We put the ropes around him so the kids can't get in. 472 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,843 We told him Santa's having a little nap with 473 00:18:41,844 --> 00:18:44,321 his eyes open because he's always watching you. 474 00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:46,980 What are you doing? 475 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,660 Who's watching Santa? 476 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,140 Don't worry. 477 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,640 I found a way to distract the kids. 478 00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,180 What are they doing? 479 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,220 They're having a staring contest with Santa. 480 00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,290 Hey, guys. 481 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,390 Hey, me. 482 00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:04,010 Oh, my God. 483 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,530 I heard what happened to you guys. 484 00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:06,810 Poor Santa. 485 00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:11,570 And I can't believe his last words were, and to all, a good night. 486 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:13,990 Actually, that's just what we told the kids. 487 00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:17,290 His real last words were, I'll see you in hell, as well. 488 00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,650 Maybe there's a message here. 489 00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,610 You shouldn't be mean and abusive, especially at Christmas time. 490 00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:27,238 Or maybe you shouldn't eat just pork and cheese and wash 491 00:19:27,239 --> 00:19:29,251 it down with a pack of smokes and a quart full of gin. 492 00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,330 Yeah. 493 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,252 But I'm still holding my theory that you can eat 494 00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:36,431 anything you want as long as you just walk a little. 495 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,510 Coming! 496 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,330 Hey, I'm walking to the door. 497 00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:43,510 Now I can have more chips. 498 00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:46,870 Lisa. 499 00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:48,690 Hi, Drew. 500 00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:50,230 So, where were we? 501 00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:52,650 I just ruined your marriage and your life. 502 00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:55,850 So... okay, stomach, I guess. 503 00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:58,090 I'm not gonna hit you. 504 00:19:58,170 --> 00:19:59,170 I'm not mad. 505 00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,770 Trent told me it wasn't your fault. 506 00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:03,690 Oh, God, I'm glad I heard you say that. 507 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,990 You know, I don't want to say anything, but, you know, jumping from job to job, 508 00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:09,990 able to sleep, walking through life, frankly, I think he's kind of flaky. 509 00:20:10,430 --> 00:20:12,730 And let's face it, he's no Weinstein, so... 510 00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:14,570 Drew, he's in the car. 511 00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:15,730 We're eloping. 512 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:18,510 Oh. 513 00:20:18,511 --> 00:20:19,970 Okay, stomach again, I guess. 514 00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:25,190 Look, he said it wasn't your fault, and he just freaked out a little, 515 00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,330 but now we're okay. 516 00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:27,310 Oh. 517 00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:28,210 Well, that's great. 518 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,030 Let me go congratulate him. 519 00:20:29,031 --> 00:20:29,890 No, no, no. 520 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,030 Stay with me. 521 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,270 Right. 522 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:33,330 So, where are you going? 523 00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:35,608 We're gonna drive up to Niagara, get married, 524 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,091 and then take a driving trip across Canada. 525 00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:42,191 And then Trent's gonna take some time off to decide what he wants to do for a career. 526 00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:43,590 Oh, man, no. 527 00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:45,610 That's great. 528 00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:47,630 I'm really happy for you. 529 00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:49,530 Thanks. 530 00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:53,230 I should get going. 531 00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:56,850 Oh, wait, I didn't even get you a wedding present. 532 00:20:59,010 --> 00:20:59,430 Here. 533 00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:00,431 Why don't you take these? 534 00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:02,090 It's cold up there. 535 00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:04,950 I'm gonna miss you. 536 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:06,950 What? 537 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:08,710 Hold on, wait a second. 538 00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:11,450 If you don't want your naked pictures back, say, huh. 539 00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:13,390 Huh? 540 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,360 Just kidding. 541 00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:19,700 Take care of yourself. 542 00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:45,140 Hey, Lewis. 543 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,360 Check it out. 544 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,520 Hey, they're cute. 545 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,360 Uh-huh. 546 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560 They're looking at us. 547 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,490 Uh, Lewis, I think I know what they're staring at. 548 00:21:58,310 --> 00:21:59,310 What? 549 00:21:59,550 --> 00:22:01,070 You got a piece of popcorn, actor. 550 00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:01,390 Right here? 551 00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:02,590 Yeah. 552 00:22:03,210 --> 00:22:03,450 Thanks. 553 00:22:03,950 --> 00:22:04,950 Ready? 36976

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