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1
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:04,003
Babe, I need more
shot glasses...
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,379
Oh! Trevor?
3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,298
What are you doing
staying late after class?
4
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,299
Uh, what?
5
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,510
Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,720
Yes, teacher,
7
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,055
it's me, Trevor, your student,
8
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,391
wondering how I might
get up my grade.
9
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,519
I think we can find
you some extra credit.
10
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,813
And I want a good
look at your locker,
11
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,732
I hear it's so dirty.
12
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,066
Oh, so dirty.
13
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,401
In fact, I'm so dirty,
14
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,611
you should probably
check me for lice.
15
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:30,696
Check you for... Babe,
16
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,156
isn't that more of a
grade school thing?
17
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:33,699
I don't think...
18
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,409
I'm pretty sure we had lice
checks in my high school.
19
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,078
Oh. Well, then,
let me get a comb
20
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,330
and my rubber gloves.
21
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:43,542
Oh, gonna use your
special lice comb?
22
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:44,877
Oh, you know I am.
23
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,212
Any nits or larvae?
24
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,839
Oh, yeah.
25
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,257
Check him for lice
26
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,176
you dirty strumpet.
27
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,469
- Sixpack!
- What are you doing in here?
28
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,013
Looking for peanut
butter. Found it.
29
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,431
Sixpack,
30
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,433
remember what we said
about boundaries...
31
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,352
This is employees only!
32
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:04,021
You wet-brained perv!
33
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,564
You didn't overhear any...
34
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,608
- None of that?
- Ah, nah. No.
35
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,776
But for the record,
36
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,862
lice checks are more of
a school nurse thing.
37
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,781
You know, for next time.
38
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,657
Uh-huh.
39
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,201
Now, where were we?
40
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,703
Well, Nurse Glider, I
was thinking you could
41
00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:22,748
take my temperature
the baby way.
42
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,086
♪ Hell, yeah ♪
43
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,216
Sixpack wants a triple
gin Provencal, neat.
44
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,218
Fancy drink for a guy
who is passed out.
45
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,679
Sixpack's orders
get more upscale
46
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,888
the drunker he gets.
47
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,139
He's a reverse bridesmaid.
48
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,516
Reverse bridesmaid?
49
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,685
Oh, yeah. Bridesmaids
start the wedding
50
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:45,229
with, like, a French martini,
but by the end of the night,
51
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,522
they're sucking up paint thinner
52
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,065
somebody spilled on the bar.
53
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,483
That is so true!
54
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,735
I don't know how to make
a... Oh! Wait a sex.
55
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,738
Glider has drink
recipes on her computer.
56
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,241
All right, let's
see... Dap-a-dap-dap...
57
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,742
Uh... Time out.
58
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,203
Does she actually let
you use her laptop?
59
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,663
Ah, this would be a first,
60
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,956
but I'm sure she's cool with it.
61
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,124
- Stalker much?
- Hello?
62
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,333
- What's hers is yours.
- Privacy?
63
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,168
"Work stuff." That's me.
64
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,337
After all, I'm the biz pahd-na,
65
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:13,340
so no probs clickety
clacking this folds.
66
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,800
- Oops.
- Jesus fuck!
67
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,093
Finish a word!
68
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,636
Whoa. Stop the trolley.
69
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:21,098
Relationship
Milestones Checklist?
70
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,433
It says here,
71
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,601
at one year you should
be living together
72
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:25,811
or just break up.
73
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,271
We're 14 months!
74
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,731
- Yikes!
- Better find a place.
75
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,274
You suck, dude -
News flash, you suck.
76
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,110
Open communication
is the key to trust.
77
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,528
Perhaps you should wait
78
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,947
and discuss this
with Golden Glider.
79
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,615
Wait? He's two months late.
80
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,576
- You know...
- Two months...
81
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,037
- The ship has sailed...
- If he takes any more...
82
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:46,540
Okay, look what
I found. Wha...
83
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,584
Were you guys plotting
to kill me or something?
84
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:53,464
Babe, these have been the
best 14 months of my life.
85
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,341
The only thing I would change?
86
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,427
The two rents part.
87
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,386
Lisa Snart...
88
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,138
aka Golden Glider,
89
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:05,309
would you make me the luckiest
roommate-with-benefits on Earth
90
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,852
and move in with me?
91
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,187
Is it me or does this guy
92
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,855
fake propose for
fucking everything?
93
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,856
Babe, I...
94
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,484
I mean, what is this?
95
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,236
It's a key which
symbolically opens
96
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,322
the door to wherever
we move in together.
97
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,283
Chuck, this is so...
98
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,244
Oh, no. The work folder.
99
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,080
I, uh...
100
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,667
No. I can't move in with you.
101
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,211
Hey, while you're
down on the floor,
102
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,588
you might wanna look
under some tables,
103
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,007
for your fucking balls.
104
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,593
- Give the guy a break.
- He got you!
105
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,637
Those are long gone my friend.
106
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,142
Um, babe, was just noodling
107
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,770
and thought maybe
we should discuss
108
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,813
what happened...
109
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,065
Totally. Just crazy
busy right now, babe.
110
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,608
Inventorying the straws.
111
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,277
- Ah! Super important.
- Oh, yeah. Super important.
112
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,862
True that. Yeah.
113
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,903
You know, I should do the
same with the bev napkins.
114
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,867
Well, in the words
115
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:06,120
of Archduke
Ferdinand's bodyguard,
116
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,705
"I sure biffed this one."
117
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,540
Totally put Glider on the
spot when she wasn't ready.
118
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,333
Oh, come on. You're
following the rules
119
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,751
of her own spreadsheet, right?
120
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,212
I thought so. I mean,
things were going amazing
121
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,381
and yet she defied
her own spreadsheet.
122
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,216
Maybe she does want
to move in together.
123
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,677
She just doesn't want to
move in together with you.
124
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,887
Yeah, face it, you're
eating a meatball
125
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,222
too big for your mouth.
126
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,057
She's a devastating
killing machine
127
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,559
and you got a kite.
128
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,894
This is why I don't date
anyone less powerful than me.
129
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:31,813
Or the poor.
130
00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,689
Shiznit!
131
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,191
I mean, maybe she's
not into me anymore.
132
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:39,361
You think? guys?
133
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,280
Where'd everyone go?
134
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:41,613
Across the street.
135
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,770
♪ Villigan's ♪
136
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,746
Eat my ass,
137
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,914
a Villigan's opened
across the street?
138
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,708
What'd they do? Put
it up overnight?
139
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,835
They have got the
franchising down.
140
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,963
I am going to miss
that Unitarian church.
141
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,341
Ugh, all our customers
went over there.
142
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,967
Hey, can I get off early today?
143
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:02,968
No!
144
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,762
We are so fucked!
145
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,431
Damn it. I knew legitimate
business was a bad idea.
146
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,433
Well, hold on. Okay.
147
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,518
So, a competitor opened
across the street.
148
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,062
You know what?
149
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,773
This could be the villain
bar and restaurant district.
150
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,776
Oh, I don't know.
Villigan's is a huge chain.
151
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,611
They could bury us
like they buried
152
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,489
Beefsteak Charlie's and
Shnazzy's Sitz 'n Gritz...
153
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,990
And Tamale Junction.
154
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,284
Miss those tamales everyday.
155
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,619
How about this?
156
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,454
I'll go do some recon.
157
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,081
Get the hot goss,
158
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,124
see what's crackalacking,
159
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,877
come back and game
plan this bizzy.
160
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,962
Gotta love Bane's
can-do attitude.
161
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:39,964
We're toast.
162
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,135
What is Bane doing?
163
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,012
How long does it take
to scope a place out?
164
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,807
Courtesy of
Villigan's management.
165
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,976
Wait, that wasn't...
166
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,311
Riddler? No.
167
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,480
Villigan's is villain-themed.
168
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,024
The staff all dress
like famous villains.
169
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,694
That would offend the shit
out of me if it wasn't so fun.
170
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,487
Well, what is this for?
171
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,280
"To the owners of Noonan's.
172
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,492
A gift basket from your new
neighbors at Villigan's."
173
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,703
Three day-passes for
Queen of Kings Spa.
174
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,746
Oh! I'm going by
myself three times.
175
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,666
Um, this is addressed
to the owners.
176
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,919
Sure. Butter us up before
they fry us in the pan.
177
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,129
Actually, babe,
178
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,672
couples spa date?
179
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,340
We can get intimately
rubbed down
180
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,717
by strangers side-by-side.
181
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,010
Maybe, you know,
in there somewhere
182
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,137
discuss today's
spreadsheet snafu...
183
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,055
Uh, yeah. Or, you know,
184
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,558
I never really get to
bond with the girls here
185
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,352
and female friendships
are so important.
186
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,603
- No, they're not.
- Free spa day.
187
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,857
Right, yes, super true, babe.
188
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:40,941
Take the girls!
189
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,152
- I am shouting.
- I like that plan.
190
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,570
Those spas are nude.
191
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,697
Gives me a chance to
do some body shopping.
192
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,532
This one has to shit
anytime I have sugar.
193
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,869
Great. All right. Well...
194
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,287
Um...
195
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,122
Oh. Okay.
196
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,540
Wow. Yeah. Mmm.
197
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,709
- Bye.
- Uh, bye now.
198
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,503
She wants nothing to do with me.
199
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,380
That's loser talk.
200
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,631
Ow! Sean!
201
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,008
You want her to
move in with you?
202
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,177
There are two things
women can't resist.
203
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,387
A good smack on the ass
204
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,848
and solving a big problem.
205
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,893
And Villigan's is a big problem.
206
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,771
You're right. I'll
prove I'm move-in worthy
207
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,230
by solving the
Villigan's problem.
208
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,901
Oh, and we don't smack
on the ass anymore,
209
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:27,571
but we do send flirty sexts.
210
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,741
Have a blast with
the ladies, comma,
211
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,536
and I'll have a blast
for you later, period.
212
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,080
Send.
213
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,581
Hell, yeah.
214
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:40,084
Now, to solve that
Villigan's problem.
215
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,757
Whoa!
216
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,217
Wow! Whoa!
217
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,637
Where did they even get that?
218
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:55,808
Villigan's doesn't miss a beat.
219
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,352
I mean, this is
the perfect homage
220
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,270
to all the great villains.
It's just like Planet Hollywood
221
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,356
was the perfect homage
to all the great planets.
222
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,859
But you know what? I actually
learn a lot from them, too.
223
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,902
Aw!
224
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,738
The breathalyzer
literally explodes.
225
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:13,117
So I says, "Now what, officer?
226
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,660
The alphabet again?"
227
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,540
So, now Joe's goomad is asking
why she hasn't heard from him.
228
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,209
And I'm, like,
"Sweetheart, reality check.
229
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,419
He's ghosting you."
230
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,504
Oh, we can't compete with this.
231
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,548
- Table for one, sir?
- Bane?
232
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,299
Ooh! Kite Man.
233
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,968
Welcome to Villigan's.
234
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,262
You work here now? What? How?
235
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,638
You know,
236
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,599
it actually happened
pretty organically.
237
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,518
These crooks think they can put
238
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,395
the little guy out of business.
239
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,522
We'll see about that.
240
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,107
What?
241
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,608
They've got a me?
242
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,986
Wow, I am important.
243
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:52,156
Hold up. He didn't even
greet that two-top.
244
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:56,076
And this customer over here
is waiting on a refill!
245
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:59,329
This guy is giving
Bane a bad name!
246
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,914
Excuse me? Garcon?
247
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,167
Does the soup contain gluten?
248
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,127
Well, look, I don't...
249
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:08,172
Well... Are we
talking of allergies
250
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,673
or just a preference?
251
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,842
And when they open
that patio seating,
252
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:14,303
those tips are gonna
be off the chain.
253
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,555
Well, I can't wait to
see their Fake Kite Man.
254
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,515
- Can... Can you introduce me?
- Hey!
255
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,892
Fake Calendar Man,
256
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,061
is Fake Kite Man
working tonight?
257
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,229
Nah, we don't have
a Fake Kite Man.
258
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,647
Fake Kite Man, no. Sorry.
259
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,524
They don't? What?
260
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,026
Wait, they have a
Fake Calendar Man,
261
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,527
but they don't have
a Fake Kite Man?
262
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,198
Well, look, it's so hard
263
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,532
to find good help,
264
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,700
that also, you know,
265
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,495
resembles such a super famous...
266
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,082
Thanks anyway, buddy.
267
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,169
- Garcon?
- Just a second!
268
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,923
Right here. Oh,
there's a knot.
269
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,425
- Mmm.
- It's very tight.
270
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,885
Oh, right there.
271
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,887
A little ore pressure?
272
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,723
Oh, I can't believe we
can't have our phones.
273
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,392
Ah, this was such a good idea.
274
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,602
I am crazy relaxed.
275
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,813
Don't touch my fucking feet!
276
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,731
- Isn't this fun?
- So when are you gonna dump Kite Man?
277
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,692
What? I'm not
going to dump him.
278
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,235
Your own spreadsheet says
279
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,612
if it's not time to move
in, it's time to move on.
280
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,031
Okay, okay. I know, but...
281
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,492
I made it before I
even met Kite Man.
282
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,952
It was stupid.
283
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,745
And here's the truth.
284
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,539
I do wanna move in with him.
285
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,833
I'm just... afraid
I'll kill him.
286
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,042
- So?
- Why?
287
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,460
Because I can't
control my powers
288
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,421
if I get super emotional.
289
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,797
If we live together,
290
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,465
the first time he puts
a dish in the sink
291
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,218
instead of in the dishwasher,
which is three inches away,
292
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,137
I will lose my shit
and accidentally
293
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,305
turn him into a pool
of blood on the carpet.
294
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,599
Huh! Good luck getting
hard blood out of a rug.
295
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,934
Look at it like this,
296
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,061
if you kill him, then
it wasn't meant to be.
297
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,646
- Bingo!
- Yeah, I don't really
298
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,106
- see it that way...
- The hell?
299
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,691
A Villigan's Company?
300
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,777
A chain restaurant
owns this spa. Weird.
301
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,279
Also, they said the
mask would tingle,
302
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,823
but it does feel like my
face is being stabbed.
303
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,199
Oops.
304
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,577
Oops, my ass! That
was no accident!
305
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,037
You just ripped my head off!
306
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:03,955
Oh, ow!
307
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:07,333
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
308
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,635
Ladies, I'm starting to
think this is a trap.
309
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,262
Starting to think?
310
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,806
How can I blame Glider for
not wanting to live with me?
311
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,475
I don't wanna live with me
312
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,560
and I don't have a clue
313
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,811
on how to get rid of Villigan's.
314
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,812
I have a thought.
315
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,314
Go kill the manager.
316
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,608
What? Noonan, that
doesn't sound like
317
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,984
the way to handle a...
318
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,570
You think I kept this
bar open all these years
319
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,864
with friendly service? No!
320
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,074
I have killed more...
321
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,909
- I've never...
- What?
322
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,827
I've never killed anyone before.
323
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,371
- What?
- Please do not tell anyone.
324
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,290
Okay? If that got out
at the Legion of Doom,
325
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,792
they would lose
all respect for me.
326
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,835
Your bigger problem is your girl
327
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,505
will have no respect for you
328
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,507
if you lose this bar.
329
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,510
I'd do anything to make
sure that doesn't happen.
330
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,136
- Even...
- Even kill.
331
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,388
Do you have a
weapon I can borrow?
332
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,682
I got every weapon
you can borrow.
333
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,350
Whoa! All right.
334
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,643
Whoa! Very cool.
335
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,977
Very, very cool.
336
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,355
Let's pop that killing cherry.
337
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,398
What's this one?
338
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,692
All right, uh...
Cataclysmic Deionizer.
339
00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:16,360
It's a nice choice.
It's discreet,
340
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,488
take off the lid like you're
gonna moisturize your lips,
341
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,656
point it at the manager,
342
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,991
squeeze, dead.
343
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:26,955
That is actually pretty nice.
344
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:29,915
Can I get you ladies
345
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,667
started with drinks?
346
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,044
Wow! We got Bane!
347
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,921
Yup. You got me.
348
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,548
So are we thinking...
349
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,550
Isn't the real Bane skinnier?
350
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,719
Joanne, you're awful!
351
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,345
But you're right.
352
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,974
I will get some
bread for the table.
353
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,161
Ugh!
354
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,413
Ha!
355
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:15,419
Oh, that's right.
356
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,255
Fighting is my self-care.
357
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,216
Chessure, get your toy.
358
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,676
Hey, watch the head.
359
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,555
Ow! So catching me
wasn't part of your plan?
360
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,892
Sorry, I've never
been good at sports.
361
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,856
Shit. I can't stop thinking
362
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,275
that I hurt Kite Man's feelings.
363
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,571
I really like him. And I never
like anyone! He's just so...
364
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:43,697
- Basic?
- Dumpable?
365
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,283
I was gonna say sweet.
366
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,285
And the weird thing is,
that makes me love him more
367
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,165
Malice, you okay?
368
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,918
Oh, yeah. This must
be our third date
369
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:58,630
because I'm about to
give you all some head.
370
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,593
How about a freaking
heads up next time?
371
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,095
You wait till the third date?
372
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,139
Yeah. Chastity is
the new edging.
373
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,275
That's one big fucking masseuse!
374
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,071
Hi, there. Uh...
375
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,572
I was hoping to maybe
speak to the manager.
376
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,824
'Scuse me, mister?
377
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,992
Oh! Hey, kiddo,
can I help you?
378
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,954
We got you a skinny
Marga-queefa.
379
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,330
Oh.
380
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,874
Uh, well, that's
adorable, sweetie.
381
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,168
I think maybe you
mean "Margarita."
382
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,962
But I didn't order anything.
383
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,840
Yeah. This one's on the house.
384
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,050
And don't worry, it's virgin.
385
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,635
Just like you, Kite Man.
386
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:49,847
You know, perhaps I should
speak with your parents.
387
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,515
Eat shit. I'm 47.
388
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:54,018
I sued my parents into
homelessness years ago.
389
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:56,353
Name's Babydoll,
I run this place.
390
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,856
Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.
You're the manager?
391
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,232
Something you wanted to ask me?
392
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,859
Um...
393
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,402
- No, I'm good.
- Didn't think so.
394
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,446
I'm looking forward
to flattening Noonan's
395
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,906
and putting in a big
deck for patio seating.
396
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,991
Big deck?
397
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,701
What can I say?
398
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,745
I love big decks.
399
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,249
Hang in there, Kite
Man. This ain't so bad.
400
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,876
This place is just so fake.
401
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,253
Agreed. It could
never be Noonan's.
402
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,088
I mean, Noonan's,
may it rest in peace,
403
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,965
was a place where we
could all sit at the bar
404
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,300
and just have a drink.
405
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,552
This place, could
never provide that.
406
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,804
♪ Birthday,
birthday, birthday ♪
407
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,264
♪ Today's your birthday ♪
408
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,224
♪ Birthday,
birthday, birthday ♪
409
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,684
♪ At Villigan's we say ♪
410
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,144
♪ Birthday,
birthday, birthday! ♪
411
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,604
♪ A birthday is a birthday ♪
412
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,439
♪ Birthday,
birthday, birthday ♪
413
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,732
It's a registered trademark
414
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,275
of Villigan's incorporated!
415
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,069
- Yay!
- Happy birthday!
416
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,612
That is one toe-tapping
417
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,739
proprietary birthday
song, right there.
418
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,282
To Aiden!
419
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,202
If I had Aiden's wish right now,
420
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,745
I'd wish Glider
would text me back
421
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,997
and this giant corporate
chain restaurant never opened.
422
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,332
See, you're getting greedy now.
423
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,250
That's two wishes.
Even if Aiden owned
424
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,086
a money printing
machine like Villigan's,
425
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,587
he couldn't buy another wish.
426
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,172
Wait a minute, that's it.
427
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:07,675
To beat Villigan's,
we need to focus
428
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,259
on the things they can't buy.
429
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,553
Like some good
old-fashioned creativity
430
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:12,930
and community engagement.
431
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,100
Yes! Thanks, guys.
432
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,852
I knew you couldn't do it.
433
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,729
Listen, Babydoll
may be a greedy,
434
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,732
ruthless freak, hellbent
on my personal ruin,
435
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,777
but she is also, unfortunately,
436
00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,946
super cute. But good news,
437
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:30,614
I have a better plan.
438
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:31,865
Theme nights!
439
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,117
Villigan's is a
theme restaurant.
440
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:35,327
Well, we'll have a
new theme every night.
441
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,496
Instrumental Karaoke
Night, Taco Mondays,
442
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,289
get ahead of it. Hell, yeah!
443
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,376
Trivia Night, but only
questions about trivia itself.
444
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:45,295
Okay. Shut up!
445
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:48,132
Even if people liked
those horrible ideas,
446
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,800
how are you gonna
get the word out?
447
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,135
Way ahead of you.
448
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,678
Putting up a giant
marquee out front.
449
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,805
Heading over to the gang at
Just Marquees right about now.
450
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,391
It's the only game in town
since Marquees de Sign closed.
451
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,143
But wait until Babydoll
and her cronies
452
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,936
get a load of our giant marquee
453
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:04,690
of creativity and community.
454
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,571
W-T-F!
455
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:11,989
When I was over
there, it was like
456
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,407
Babydoll knew I was coming,
457
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:15,617
and now she stole all
my theme night ideas.
458
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,162
- It's like she...
- Bugged the gift basket?
459
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,664
- It was in the fruitcake.
- Why didn't you tell me?
460
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:21,833
I don't work for you.
461
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,377
Noonan, I'm not a
big cured meats guy,
462
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,588
does charcuterie always tick?
463
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,215
Fire in the hole!
464
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,054
'Splosion!
465
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:49,527
Oh! I like that torso.
466
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,198
I hate effort.
467
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,284
Dear God, my forehead is crying.
468
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,584
Ugh!
469
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,591
Is this on?
470
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,801
Can they... They
can see me, right?
471
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,469
- Damn! Babydoll?
- Who?
472
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:16,679
Babydoll.
473
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,722
The former child star
of the stupid sitcom
474
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,724
- Love That Baby.
- Hated that show.
475
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,393
Oh, it sucked!
476
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:24,228
Although, did you see the one
where Baby becomes a lawyer?
477
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,562
Oh, yeah, I like that one.
478
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,123
And the one where
Baby gets an abortion?
479
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,858
I directed that one, actually.
480
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,318
Still waiting on my residuals.
481
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:32,695
Look, bitches,
482
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:35,114
no amount of fight will save you
483
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,115
or your precious bar.
484
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,449
You listen to me,
485
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,368
my boyfriend and I
just bought that bar
486
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,578
and no second-rate
tacky chain restaurant
487
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,706
is going to end our
dreams of turning it into
488
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,250
the most moderately
successful local dive bar
489
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:48,961
in greater east
Gotham, north of 47th!
490
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,255
- You got that?
- Oh, I got it.
491
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,340
- Boyfriend, huh?
- As a matter of fact,
492
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,592
my soon to be live-in boyfriend.
493
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,428
We still talking about this?
494
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,637
Well, I hope you're not
talking about Kite Man,
495
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,140
because I'm afraid he's dead.
496
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,017
- What?
- He go boom boom!
497
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,228
So unless he's bomb proof,
498
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,022
and I know he's not, because
I've heard his jokes,
499
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,774
Kite Man is very dead.
500
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:14,945
Oh, this is bad.
501
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,280
Take cover!
502
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:27,291
Hmm, nice fucking
throw, Kite Man.
503
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,542
Uh, well, thanks.
504
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,586
Nine-time intramural
disc golf champ.
505
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,463
There's actually a
pretty sweet course
506
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,922
over by the Gotham airport
507
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:34,965
if you ever want to get in...
508
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,176
Goddamnit! Are you kidding me?
509
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,802
I'm trying to make
Regional Supervisor
510
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:41,722
and a property insurance
claim is not helping.
511
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:45,309
You're paying for a new
revolving door, cocksucker!
512
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,269
I don't think so, Babydoll.
513
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,231
Kite Man, kick her
sorry little ass.
514
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,566
I'm not hitting a child.
515
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,943
Ah, Jesus Christ!
516
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:57,613
Babydoll, Noonan's
isn't going anywhere,
517
00:19:57,614 --> 00:20:00,199
so we're just gonna have to
find a way to live together.
518
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,826
You mean like your
dumb girlfriend
519
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,994
you're moving in with?
520
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,496
- Who told you that?
- She did.
521
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,581
She said you're
moving in together,
522
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,167
only problem is,
next thing she did
523
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,544
was die!
524
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,016
Oh, fuck!
525
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,853
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, shit.
526
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,272
Ew, when did French
braids come back?
527
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,024
- Malice, you're...
- Fine.
528
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,818
I'm immortal, remember?
529
00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:36,944
Oh, what about Fables?
530
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,904
What about me? I'm right here.
531
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,447
What do you think?
532
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,782
Your kill-everything tantrum
made a perfect buffet
533
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,117
of parts in there.
534
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,035
I look good.
535
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,579
Oh, my God. Chuck!
536
00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,164
Can you believe this shit?
537
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,290
You see the appetizers?
538
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,750
They want $17.99
539
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,293
for the Riddler soup of the day?
540
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,713
Like we're suckers!
541
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,882
Listen, Kite Man,
542
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,176
I am sorry about Golden Glider.
543
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:04,013
I mean, you know, there
just are no words.
544
00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,347
That being said,
545
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:06,557
how about I try some more words
546
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:08,017
and see if we land
on any of that...
547
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:11,062
- Babe!
- Babe!
548
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,315
I thought you were dead.
549
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,900
Jinx. Double jinx.
550
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,318
I've... I've got
something to tell you.
551
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,528
Oh, shut up!
552
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:21,321
I have to tell you
something first.
553
00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,741
Chuck, I want to
move in with you.
554
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:25,159
I always have.
555
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,326
I was just afraid
556
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:27,870
I'd accidentally kill you, okay?
557
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:28,747
Seriously?
558
00:21:28,748 --> 00:21:30,414
Babe, I'd rather
be killed by you
559
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,249
than be alive with anyone else.
560
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,459
Oh, babe!
561
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,586
Truth is, I'd rather kill you
562
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,629
than see you alive
with anyone else.
563
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,965
The down-on-one-knee shit again?
564
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,800
Charles "Kite Man" Brown,
565
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,220
would you make me the luckiest
roommate-with-benefits ever
566
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,472
and move in with me?
567
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:49,224
I do! A thousand times do!
568
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:51,018
He do-dos!
569
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,145
It is beyond humiliating
570
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,272
to be fired by a child.
571
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:57,441
I am never going
572
00:21:57,442 --> 00:22:00,944
to Villigan's again!
573
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:02,821
Hell, yeah!
574
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,406
Wait, what did you
want to tell me?
575
00:22:04,407 --> 00:22:06,700
Oh, uh, well, it's
better if I show you.
576
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,619
Daddy, please no!
577
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:10,287
Stop, Daddy!
578
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:12,122
See, that I respect.
579
00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:13,457
That's how I was raised.
580
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,292
Thanks. But you guys
don't think this
581
00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:16,460
makes me look like a jerk?
582
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,131
Yeah, but who cares?
583
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,038
♪ Hell, yeah ♪
40748
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