All language subtitles for The Durrells in Corfu - S03E01 - Episode 1.sd-en

[seagulls squawking]

♪

LOUISA:
Dear Aunt Hermione,

I hope Belgium was good

and this letter reaches you
safely in Dijon.

Mm, mustard.

We are all happy.

Larry is writing
his third novel,

which is more
than Leslie has read.

And Les has a girlfriend,
Daphne,

but won't let us meet her.

Margo has ditched her boyfriend
Zoltan,

because we begged her to.

And Gerry, as ever,

prefers his animal family
to his human one.

I have given up
searching for love,

so with all my new free time

I'm thinking of learning
the harp

or getting a cello
between my legs.

♪

Time just for me.

It is gorgeous here.

♪

[bird honking]

I can see it, Gerry.

He followed me.

[honking]

Infuriating.

That's what you said
about most of them.

Scorpions don't follow
people home.

I have nobody.

I feel like a dog
without an owner.

You are a terrific young woman
Margo,

you don't need someone
to own you.

Thank you, lonely spinster.

I am neither.

I'm a, a busy widow. Ugh, even worse.

Look at this letter.

[dog whimpers, Larry groans]

I think I heard a crack!

Endless sodding animals!

I've broken my leg!

Unlikely, darling.

I just wrote to my aunt
that we're all happy.

[groaning]

Where's Leslie? I'll show you.

[groaning in pain]

[Larry continues to groan]

[indistinct talking, laughing]

Well, life hasn't showered
Leslie with gifts,

he's allowed a girlfriend.

So, that's Daphne.

Hello, Daphne... No, no, no, no, no,

it's not her.

He's got three girls.

[grunts]

I found these
in his secret nook.

He's made the mistake
of photographing his victims.

So what do you expect me
to do about it?

I don't know.

[sighs]

Ooh, nice cardie.

Oh, God they look like trouble.

♪

♪

[cicadas chirping]

Well, tell your publisher

that you won't use a pseudonym.

LARRY:
I've got no choice.

My last novel did so badly.

My name is commercial leprosy.

LOUISA:
A pseudonym is when

you use a name that isn't yours

because... I know what a pseudonym is.

Don't confuse boredom
with ignorance.

Oh please, Margo,
get a ruddy hobby.

LESLIE:
Evening.

Is it true you have
three girlfriends?

Yes, it is.

[laughing]

And do they all know
about each other?

No, they don't.[Larry chuckles]

I can't help thinking one
would be simpler.

This makes up for all the time
I had no girlfriends.

If you average it out,

I have one girlfriend.

Lots of animals mate for life.

Yeah, that's what I'm going for.

Me too. He doesn't mean

they mate constantly
throughout their life.

GERRY:
Have only one mate
their whole life.

Otters, penguins,

the prairie vole.

Yeah, well, I'm not
a prairie vole,

I'm me.

It would be nice to meet
your friends.

Oh, no.

No, I don't want you sticking
your oar in.

LARRY:
Hermione will,

she's coming back.

It's weed on you.

LESLIE:
She's coming back again?

Why?

LOUISA:
Warmth, renewal,

her friend, Mr. Anestis.

[chuckling]

In fact

she's planning to stay
permanently.

♪

[sighs]

♪

[Larry groans]

[Lugaretzia speaking Greek]

[goat bleating]

My niece Dionisia

is Leslie girlfriend.

Soon he will be family.

I'm afraid you're jumping ahead.

Leslie is seeing three girls.

He...[screams painfully]

Do you really think it's broken?

Yes.

All right,
I'll fetch the doctor.

♪

MARGO:
As you insist,
I've chosen a hobby.

Oh, good.

Making sculptures out of soap.

What?

Well, it seems stupid,
but so do a lot of things.

Like hockey and feet.

And testicles.

[flamingo honking]

Is that the same flamingo?

Yes.

[sighs]

♪

[Adonis crying]

Oh, dear.
Florence!

It's actually your husband
I wanted to see.

Larry's got a... Hold this.

Oh.[crying continues]

Little Adonis.

Isn't he a sweetie.

Fatuous bloody name.

Not so much Adonis,
more a Dennis.

No, he's... he's bonny.

[Adonis stops crying]

Leslie was a monstrous troll
of a baby.

And he's not exactly
Clark Gable now.

[items on table rustling]

Florence, it will get easier.

You waited so long
for this baby.

So, what's happened to Larry?

Well, he thinks
he's fractured his leg,

tripping over the dog.

They kept him quiet
for all of three seconds.

These might be a bit sharp.

Oh, boo hoo.

Well, I can't help,

my husband's in Kavos.

They have a backlog of cases.

Dr. Frangos is working.

I'm a better doctor
than Dr. Frangos.

Larry needs an x-ray
more than a doctor.

And where could he get
one of those?

Athens, Naples.

Turn left out the house,

try Istanbul. This is ridiculous!

Yes, it is.

But Larry is no stranger

to accidents and illnesses.

He obviously likes
the attention.

You may not be interested
in being a good parent,

but I am.

So I'll try another way.

And I'm sorry you don't think
Leslie's handsome,

but he has three girlfriends.

Do you have any remedies
for excess libido?

Childbirth.

[honking]

♪

Mrs. Durrell, founder
of a dynasty, what a pleasure.

How delightful to find someone

who isn't grumpy
or cross with me.

Well, yes, there's lots
of crossness,

even on a Greek island.

Because they have no
Thermocyclops

to keep them happy.Mm.

He's in here, is he?

Several hundred of them.

It's more of a soup, really.

Mm.

But it's Larry I'm here about.

He suspects he's broken his leg.

Oh, dear.

Florence can't help,

and there's no back-up.

You have medical training...
what can I do?

I'd love to help,

but I didn't qualify
as a doctor.

Besides, who else will monitor
the Thermocyclops

and other copepods?

Well, that's one defective son.

On to the next.

LOUISA:
Hello, Spiros!

Mrs. Durrells.

[Spiros strumming lute]

Home?

Yes, please.

I would walk,
but I have a favor to ask.

Anything.

This is one occasion
where I wish I had a husband.

Or at least Leslie had a father.

Would you explain to him

why it's wrong
to be promiscuous?

That's mating
with too many ladies?

Um, yes.

We tend to say "mating"
only for animals.

Hmm, what would you say?

I don't know.

[car starting]

♪

Leslie,
Spiros would like a word.

[pelican honking]

Gerry,

I said no more.

We don't have the food
or the room,

I'm sorry I'm going
to release one.

No!

I'm researching
if their color will change

if I alter their diet.

[sighs]

[goat bleating faintly]

[pelican grunts]

At your age, with the girls,

I was like a cat
in a mouse house.

Happy times.

Were yours pretty?

Mine are so pretty.

Yes, one was incredibly...

what's the word...

ah... busty? Yeah, yeah, busty.

I can't tell you how busty.

Are you sure you can't?

[both laughing]

SPIROS:
Enjoy it,

enjoy it while you can, be...

...cause...
um,

so to recap,

what are you doing?

Huh?

The love of one good woman...

is nice...

and...

Pelican tart for supper.

And Gerry will be releasing
some of his pets.

Please do the same, Leslie.

Or I will.

[bees buzzing]

I'm buying more goats from Sven.

Their cheese always does well.

But we need to sell more.

Whoa!

It's boring being paupers.

I'd love a porpoise.

So I'm putting you
in charge of animal produce.

That way you'll be
among animals,

but useful ones.

Still no milk from her?

No.

Sven loves his goats,

but when they come to the end
of their working lives...

We don't slaughter people
who retire.

Animals aren't people.

And you merrily eat meat
someone else has killed.

You're right.

From now on, I'm a vegetarian.

Gerry, I am not cooking
two different meals.

Theo!

Mrs. Durrell,

Professor Durrell.

I've brought you
a leopard-spotted gecko.

LOUISA:
Whoa.

Found in a crate
of Indian mangoes.

Thank you!

Look at that!

[bitterly]:
I'll see if I can milk it,

so we can make some money.

I just wanted a word
with your mother.

Hmm.

Our chat earlier

sparked a crisis of conscience
in me.

Am I more useful
improving health on Corfu

than scrutinizing mollusks?

Yes, you are.

Of course mollusks
are vital links

in the complex chain of life.

[giggles]:
Hmm,
I don't care.

But what will you do?

I have an idea
of how to help Larry.

I'm going to the mainland
to investigate.

Thank you, Theo.

LARRY:
Across Europe Aunty strides,

like the Mongol hordes,

but wearing more talcum powder.

[chuckles]

What's your sculpture of?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Yes,

I'm agog to know
what you're making

out of shards of old soap.

Which pseudonym do you prefer:

Hieronymus Schmoop
or Tom Orange?

MARGO:
It depends,

do you want to sound
like a pretentious ponce

or a simpleton?

Pretentious ponce.

Oh.

You remember which of your
stable of ladies you're meeting?

Yes.

You can't keep all three.

Well, I can.

Tell us why you like each one.

Well, Daphne's so confident.

[whispering in Greek]Sometimes
me and her have

a right old shouting match.

And Tsanta is really gentle
and kind.

And Dionisia made us laugh
so much once we wet ourselves,

she is such fun.

I know it's hard to find one
person who gives you everything

but... Yeah, exactly.

[door closes]

[typewriter clacking]

[knocking]

You managed to get up
the stairs, then.

If you hadn't hidden the booze,
I'd have danced up.

How did I not know

that Leslie's been
accumulating girlfriends?

Well, we all need secrets.

I've got
some absolute humdingers.

Yes, but you're not Les.

He needs special care.

Ideally, but I'd spend all day
with him, like a bodyguard.

Five yards behind,
pointing out hazards.

He has three girlfriends,
not three landmines.

They're people.

He's not good with people.

He is good with things.

Yes, he's very good with things.

All parents have one child
that they fear for.

You know the one
who gets bitten, or rejected,

or the one who chooses
bad friends.

Or falls off Bournemouth pier.

Please try not to get involved.

Well, what am I here for?

He's heading for disaster.

It's his first ballet class
all over again.

You're going to tell him
who to pick.

I would never do that.

What are you planning then?

To protect
my most vulnerable child.

[birds chirping]

I've forgiven you

for acting like Jack the lad
with Leslie,

because I'm afraid
I need your help again.

Mrs. Durrells,
I love to help.

And your family gives me
so many chances.

I now know the names
and whereabouts

of his three girlfriends.

So we're going to go
and find out what they're like.

[door closes]Why?

Well, Leslie has a history
of making bad choices.

But I can't bear
to watch him do it again

and have his heart broken.

I remember,

his first girlfriend cheated
on him.

He sobbed into my arms.

I wanted to kill her.

Is this his revenge?

No.

It's love of women.

I can think of bigger sins.

[engine starting, shifting gear]

[panting]

♪

Is this the one who laughs
with Leslie

until they wet themselves?

No, that's Dionisia.Hm.

And once, I don't think
it's a regular thing.

Kalimera.

Kalimera.

Daphne? Yes.

I'm your friend Leslie's mother.

He mentioned you,

and we were passing.

I wondered if you'd seen him?

I think you come to see
how I look.

Yes, very confident.

No, no,
besides, who cares about looks?

I do.

Actually I do too.

Leslie looks strong,

but he's surprisingly delicate.

No, he is not, you are wrong.

Have you met Spiros?

Yes.

[door closes]

LESLIE:
Aunt Hermione doesn't dawdle,
does she?

Look, she's reached Venice.

Maybe she'll catch cholera
like Gustav von Aschenbach.

Death in Venice?

It's a book... It's a book, of course it is.

Look,

I'll tell you why it's a bad
idea to have three girlfriends.

Because it's three more
than you have?

A, one day you'll call them
by the other girl's name.

B, they'll find out
you're cheating,

despise you, and dump you.

I haven't lied to them
about anything.

Spoken like a cheap lawyer.

C, Mother isn't happy,

D... Let's do the whole alphabet!

D, if you had one girlfriend...
I know, boring...

and she had two other men,
how would you feel?

And...

If you say E,
I'll kick your bad leg.

[groans]

R?

Ugh, I give up.

Do what you want.

Yeah, we know it hurts.

And it says here a broken limb

can become deformed
if not set properly.

Why, why don't I make you
a plaster cast?

Because you're not a doctor.

Well, I delivered Lugaretzia's
granddaughter,

so I practically am. "I practically am."

♪

[brakes squealing]

Yassas.

Yassas.

Sorry to disturb you,
are you Tsanta?

Yes, I am.

I'm Mrs. Durrell,
your friend Leslie's mother.

Oh.

What a pretty blush.

Mr. Halikiopoulos and I
were just passing.

Weren't we?

Okay.

Leslie said you helped out here,

and, well, I've always wanted
to visit this church.

Haven't I, Spiros?

Yes, I had to tell her,

"Stop going on and on
and on about it."

Well, I didn't go on
and on about it.

I am very pleased to meet you.

I see why Leslie loves
his mother.

Well, you go straight
into the lead!

The lead?

[men speaking Greek]

[car horn honking,
brakes squealing]

Yassas.

Yassas.

You are Dionisia?

Nai.

Leslie's mother,
Mrs. Durrells.

He mentioned you.

We were just passing.

[speaking Greek]

She doesn't speak English.

Oh.

So how did they make
each other laugh?

[speaking Greek]

[speaking Greek]

Mind your own business.

LOUISA:
So what does she like

about Leslie?

[speaking Greek]

Hmm.

[speaking Greek]

He is silly.

[speaking Greek]

[speaking Greek]

Hm.

If anyone's silly, you're silly.

You want my opinion
of the ladies?

I think I've made
my own mind up.

Daphne's tough because her
father is a gangster.

What?!
Well, why didn't you say?

You can't pick your daddy.

Dionisia, I think,

lives for now
and does what comes naturally.

Tsanta is a sweet peasant girl

who keeps her knees together.

You're guessing.

Yes, but I knew her mother well.

Of course you did.

I just want Leslie
to find someone

who'll, who'll love him,
like I loved my husband.

So, what now?

I talk to Leslie

and tell him
who he should choose.

You...

are family

of Lugaretzia.

Lugaretzia?

[all mimicking moaning]

Stop it now, that's really mean.

♪

[birds chirping]

[struggling]

Plaster cast.

Want to sign it?

Just try to keep it erudite.

Who did it?

Les.

It does hurt less,

but it is rather heavy.

Oh, Leslie, I dropped in
on all of your girlfriends.

So that obviously took quite
a while.

Why did you?!

Well,
because I haven't met them.

I worry about you.

Well, you didn't mention
any of my oddities, did you?

No.

They're all very pretty.

[Larry struggling]

Tsanta's lovely.

Choose her.

Sorry, Lugaretzia.

Invite Tsanta round for tea,

and well, we'll all kick off
our shoes

and get to know each other
better.No.

I'm trying to save you
some heartache.

Having three times
the normal number

of girlfriends cannot end well.

Stop interfering!

I'm trying to run a tight ship

and keep them all happy!

[door opens, closes]

[goat bleating]

Don't all glower at me.

Well, it's not gone brilliantly,
has it?

Now you've alienated Leslie.

I'm getting involved.

I understand women.

♪

Well, I wouldn't kick
any of them out of bed.

Dionisia is the best.

My family.

Yeah, she looks fun,
I'm backing her.

No, she's just like
Leslie's first girlfriend

who was unfaithful to him.

Love is a whirlpool.

Some drown.

But Tsanta's kind.

And her English is good.

Dionisia only speaks Greek.

This is Greece, no?

[goat bleating]

Les needs a strong woman.

No, you mean you do.

You can tell Daphne
doesn't take any bullshit.

I'll make sure Leslie picks her.

How are we going to do that?

♪

[honking]

[goat bleating]

[flamingos honking]

Gerry, they hate me.

Get rid of them.

GERRY:
Flamingos don't like being
looked in the eye,

I told you.

See them in the wild.

Do you know why they stand
on one leg?

For a bet?

I don't know.

Nor do I.

No one does, not until
we study them some more,

And it's easier here.

For once will you listen to me?

Leslie doesn't, Larry doesn't,

and, well, Margo's got a brain
like a room full of starlings.

I know where I can get
starlings...

Now listen, Gerry.

No more creatures.

[birds quacking]

Hello, Margo, good timing,

I'm just back from Athens.

Oh, good.

Theo, do you have any soap?

Yes, I do.

May I have it, please?

I may need to wash
at some point.

[bird chirping]

Are you trying the ancient craft
of soap sculpture?

Originally from Siam, I believe.

You really are a brainbox,
aren't you?

What were you doing in Athens?

I can't say yet.

It's very exciting!

As exciting as a family

torn apart by a choice
between three women?

Leslie's girlfriends.

Apparently it's like King Lear.

Except Les hasn't got a kingdom
to give away.

Gosh.

I wouldn't have expected that
from Leslie.

I see him more as a Bottom.

The Shakespearean character
Bottom, not the bottom.

Ah.

Thank you so much.

Come on Theo, spit it out.

♪

Mrs. Petridis has opened up
a spare room for me.

[Adonis babbling]

What do you think?

♪

A photography studio.

Sort of.

A radiography unit, x-rays.

A phenomenal diagnostic tool.

People are suffering
and dying needlessly here.

Theo, this is wonderful.

[crashing]

[Adonis wailing]

If you need me,
I'll be next door,

asleep in a pool
of my own tears.

[birds chirping, Larry grunting]

Why has our neighbor got
a wheelchair?

GERRY:
His toes went black
and had to be cut off.

Wait...
jar.

[rustling, animal noises]

Come on, handsome.

You heard what Mother said.

I have a plan.

Hello.

Herete. Herete.

You are very pretty and nice.

Leslie must be with you.

You are the most jolly.

We need more fun in our family

and modern fashion,

like yours.

[people speaking outside]

[speaking Greek]

Leslie is very funny.

I don't think it's deliberate.

[insects chirping]

Kalimera.

[Larry struggling]

Daphne? Yes.

We're Leslie's brothers.

We're just passing,

came along to say hello.

GERRY:
Larry needs an outing

every once in a while
or he gets grumpy.

I've never seen one that big.

Oh, thank you.

I hear that a lot.

Before we chat,

I am available,
if you prefer me to Leslie.

No.

Good, that was a test.

Why do you like Leslie?

DAPHNE:
He is a good person.

Leslie thinks about me.

Yes, when he has time.

But we're here to advise you
how to win Leslie over.

I have already won him over.

Well... Not quite.

Pretend to love guns
and shooting.

GERRY:
Oh, and he hates books.

So say you don't like them.

And come to tea on Sunday.

So we all think of you
as Leslie's girlfriend.

[Larry struggling]

Hello, Tsanta.

Mrs. Durrells.

You come to see the church
again?

No, I've come to see you.

Oh.

[grunting]

♪

LARRY:
Is Mother out?

Yes.

Thank you, driver.

[insects chirping]

[bird cooing]

♪

Go on!

One in, one out.

Shoo, shoo.

Shoo, go on!

Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo!

LARRY:
You know Hitler's
a vegetarian, Gerry.

LOUISA:
And like you, he writes books.

Hmm, he sounds all right then.

Your hands are filthy.

Margo's used all the soap.

[snorts]

Enjoy the chicken, everyone,

since Gerry's shooed
all ours away.

You said to get rid
of some animals.

[utensils clattering]That is hilarious,
be fair.

Delicious.

And no one was killed.

Good day at the orifice?

Leg still feeling good?

You're most welcome.

It's bearable,

thanks to the booze I managed
to smuggle past the guard.

[struggling]

LOUISA:
Leslie's less strong-minded
than he seems.

He needs help and reassurance.

And sometimes
we forget to give it.

So you can do that.

Because that will make him
love you, even more.

Thank you.

You are very nice.

[footsteps]

My latest, Larry's idea.

It's Hydra the serpent-woman

with three heads.

Hello,

I'm Margo, Leslie's sister
and emotional adviser.

You must be Tsanta.

Are you sure you like Les?
He's a lot of trouble.

No, he's not.
Go away.

[birds chirping]

Where is Leslie? I told him to be here

at 5:00 for Sunday tea.

Oh, God! It's a bit of England

we've brought with us.

That and sarcasm.

And a fear of emotions.

[car horn honking]

SPIROS:
Guest for tea!

[car door closing]

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I bring my niece
for the 5:00 tea,

like you say.

[awkwardly]:
Ooh... lovely.

Well, let's have it over here.

You'll be a bit draughty
in this dress, Dionisia.

I'll lend you a scarf.

Ignore her, you look stunning.

LUGARETZIA:
She is pretty.

My family usually is not pretty.

I'll bring Leslie right over.

Where is he?

Good question.

I'll go and look for him.

Why did you bring Dionisia?

I'm just the driver.

I couldn't say no.

[Larry struggling]

My leg is hot
and veering to the left.

I want this cast off, now!

I have tools.

Dionisia has arrived.

We have to keep her

and Tsanta apart. And
Daphne's coming any minute.

What?!

I didn't know you were bringing
all the contestants.

There's Daphne.

She's the best one for Les.

Give up now.

She's much better
than the nun woman.

She's not a nun.

It's not fair on Leslie,

finding them all here.

You wanted him to choose,
now's his chance.

Like a beauty parade.

Or police lineup.

Ah, Daphne.

Well, what a surprise.Hello.

It's terribly hot, isn't it?

No-No.

Even so, let's go indoors
and have tea.

♪

[sighs]:
I don't know where Leslie is.

Shall we...? There.

LOUISA:
Oh.

Er, excuse me.

Leslie?

Leslie!

Don't approach the house.

Why not?

Because Larry
is one saw stroke away

from having his foot lopped off.

Well, I wouldn't want
to miss that. No, darling...

[sighs]

[struggling]:
Why did Leslie...?

SPIROS:
Your foot's stuck.

[Larry talking indistinctly]

[Larry groaning]

[sighs]:
What's all this, then?

Hello, Leslie.

Hello.

Hello, Leslie.

Yes.

[Larry groaning]Who are these girls?

They're just mates.

[Larry groaning]Daphne...

old Daffers.

I've no idea who she is.

"Larry is a bastard..."

Well, who wrote that?

And a "Bigfoot Bighead."

Come on!

There's your pseudonym.

This family is a disgrace!

Spiro!

Saw off the leg, nobody cares.

I'm sorry, Greek people.[horse whinnying]

AUNT HERMIONE:
Do I hear the language
of Shakespeare?

MARGO:
Aunt Hermione!

Greetings.

Why are you always early?!

[horse snorting]I opted to skip Foggia.

Don't shout. Oh, Auntie,

thank goodness you're here.

Mm.Please sort out the children.

And as you can't decide

which of your girlfriends
you prefer,

Aunt Hermione will do it.

Right here, right now.

♪

[horse snorting]

See, I wouldn't dream
of policing anybody's family

or romantic life.

When it comes to love,
we're all beginners.

See, my visits here
have taught me

that the world is
too lovely a place

to be a dictatorship.

Honor others, be kind,

but obey only the whisperings
of your own soul.

[goat bleating]

What is that?

Oh, d'you like it?

I could do you one if you want.

With fewer heads,
or, or more heads.

[horse snorts]

LOUISA:
Auntie,
you used to be so blunt

and clear about everything.

Well, my dear,
this place has changed me.

I'm like a dog who wonders why
she spent so long barking.

Leslie,

I'm sorry your dilemma was
so publicly exposed.

But better to live excessively

than not live at all.

Anyway, I'm glad to be
among you again.

LARRY:
Welcome back.

We've been following your return
on a map.

Yes, it's been a long journey.

Now I've learnt to say
"Where the hell are we?"

in six European languages

[chuckles]
so I'm going for a swim.

Sorry I shouted before.

I just don't want
to remember Corfu

as the place
that destroyed my leg.

Theo's just set up
an x-ray unit.

He says Mother's inspired him.

What?

LARRY:
Why didn't you tell me
this before?

Spiros, please take me there
now.

Well, it's not ready yet.

Theo's still working out
what the knobs do.

Well, I'll sit and wait
until he has.

I'm coming too.

Leslie...

I promise we weren't trying
to humiliate you.

What have I done?

[car door closing]

You are good, Leslie.

[chuckles sadly]

Yeah, I'm not though, am I?

I'm horrible.No.

[engine starting]

Thank you.

But I don't want
to see you anymore.

She was the nicest of them.

That's why I brought her here.

Leslie, I have one thing to do,

and that's make sure
four children are happy.

I really was just trying
to help you.

I know I shouldn't have had
three girlfriends,

but... I was just waiting
for natural wastage,

as they realized
I'm not that special.

But you are, Leslie.

In your way. With my plan,

I'd have been left
with the keenest one,

least likely to cheat on me.

Now I have nobody.

But you will.

Somewhere out there

there's a girl
who will cherish you

and love you
even more than I do.

And I will look
at the two of you with joy,

and my work will be done.

[voice breaking]:
No, I'll just stay at home
with you.

[softly]:
Oh, Leslie.

You are a kind, sweet boy.

[footsteps on stairs]

[birds squawking]

[door opens, Larry cries]

SPIROS:
You're marking the tiles!

LARRY:
I can't lift it up!

[moaning]

[Larry screaming,
objects falling]

[crying]

LARRY:
Help us, Theo.

[Adonis crying][groans]

LARRY:
Theo!

[Larry groaning]Hello...

X-ray me, doc.

Give me the bad news.

The equipment's not ready.

And I'm not a doctor,

though I did buy myself
a stethoscope and a mask.

He's not leaving
until you do it.

Can you x-ray him
through concrete?

What do you think?

Huh? What do you think?

Dr. Petridis must have
some special tools.

Yes, he has.

[Adonis crying,
Florence shushing]

Here we are.

[Florence struggling]

[groaning in pain]

[clipping]

I haven't had much sleep,

but I seem to be weirdly strong.

It's okay, have a sit down.

Let's have a sit down.

My husband's away, you know?

Yes, we do!

I can't even look after
my own baby.

[Adonis cooing]

How did you do that?

I've slept,
so I'm more relaxed than you.

Babies sense these things.

Don't they?

[Margo chuckles, Adonis cooing]

Can I suggest a technique I use
while making my soap sculpture?

Thank you for coming.

I didn't need much excuse.

Wimborne Minster
has been very dank.

Are you planning to see your
Greek gentleman,

Mr. Anestis?

Yes.

But if I don't settle here,

I also have two suitors
in East Dorset.

So I can hardly
criticize Leslie.

I've done that enough
in the past.

Well, it's obvious now:

I've given up my love life,

so I've turned my attention
to my children's.

You are a resourceful mother

to a platoon
of strong-minded children.

Enjoy them without judging.

Judging's the only fun I get.

You know better than me:

good parenting

isn't about meddling
in your children's lives,

it's about loving them.

[Larry groans]

Ssh, ssh, ssh.

LARRY:
It's softening.

Try the shears again.

[Larry whimpering]

[Larry groans painfully]

Your turn.

SPIROS:
Oh, come on Larry.

[cast crunching]

[Larry groaning]

[Larry screaming]

THEO:
We're nearly there.

[Larry screaming]Come on!

Can you wipe my face, please?

[Larry groaning]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[sighs]

♪

Hey, Les.

Sorry about you and your women.

At least you know

it would have never worked
with Tsanta.

'Cause Tsanta
only comes once a year.

I hope Theo says your leg is
twisted and broken

and you never walk again.

Sibling discord?

Is this possible?

Sorry Sorry.

Oh, don't mutter apologies...

expand, explain, share.

I was being insensitive.

It's one of my strengths.

Good...
stop that then, dear.

Leslie?

I'm just sad.

And a bit relieved.

I thought I was enjoying it,

but having three girlfriends
is like...

trying to ride three bikes.

Anyway, all will be well.

The girls clearly like you.

How could they not?

LOUISA:
Go and settle things

with Daphne and Dionisia.

Tell the one you love the most
that she's the only one for you.

[birds clucking]

LOUISA:
Oh, Margo,

time for a new hobby?

Spaghetti-weaving?

Banana-bending?

MARGO:
No, I'm moving on.

I'll see you at the doctor's
in an hour.

I have a plan.

Well, everyone else has had one.

[birds honking]

LOUISA:
I'm sorry if I don't always...

appreciate your
animal collecting.

[honking]

Don't they miss being
with their friends?

I'm their friend.

[honking]

Oh.

Don't look them in the eye.

Oh.

[honking]

Also good advice with lawyers,
of course.

That's for him.

I'll release them when I've seen

if their color will change
according to what I feed them.

[squawking]

[Louisa laughs]

[flamingo feeding]

He's doing it!

He's eating from my bowl!

[delighted chuckling]

[footsteps approaching,
knock on door]

Dr. Stephanides.

As I say,
I'm not actually a doctor.

But why not, I look like one.

Theo, you've done it.

You've actually made
a difference.

I have the results
of my first x-ray,

of one Lawrence Durrell.

But I should only show
the patient.

Don't worry about that. Oh, we'll tell him.

I don't know
if you can see there.

Oh.

Uh... oh, yes, gosh!

Uh...

Look... leg.

Tibia, fibula.

We can see clearly

that Larry has broken his...

record for how low
his pain threshold is.

I suspect he has a torn muscle.

[Florence sighs]

He's asleep.

Oh, Florence.

I'm worried about you.
How are you?

Oh, it's very aging,
isn't it, parenting.

MARGO:
Don't worry.

I'm coming to work for you both

as a radiography
assistant-cum-nanny.

That was my plan.

I'm good with people and babies,

I need to be useful
for a change,

and I like seeing men
with their clothes off.

Pay me what you can afford.

Right, let's organize.Right.

Florence, you've got vomit
on your shoulder.

Oh.

[cicadas chirping]

I don't think
she's going to turn up.

Sorry.

Where's Aunt Hermione?

Out for drinks
with Suitor Number One.

We love Aunt Hermione now.

Yeah, she's a good sort.

[knock on door, opens]

Hello.

[speaking Greek]

[Greek continues]

Yes.

I am pleased to be here.

[all chuckling happily]

Oh.

Ooh, gosh. Fresh bread.

From the bakery.

Very pretty.

Yeah.

Well, I hope you'll all enjoy
your vegetarian meal.

Gorgeous.Ambrosial.

AUNT HERMIONE:
Oh, evening, everyone.

Good evening, Auntie. Auntie!

Mr. Anestis sends his...
oh, what are they... regards.

[Aunt Hermione chuckling]

LARRY:
Well.

I know you're all desperate
to know

which pseudonym I chose
for my next novel.

Is it Iva Perfectly-Goodleg?

No.

It's Charles Norden.

[cicadas chirping]

I'll fetch the meat

No, Auntie, there isn't... It's fine,

I'm happy to get it.

[struggling with oven]

Oh.

Auntie reminded me last night...

I did?

...that all that matters is that
we love each other,

and we let each other know,

in whatever way
we find possible.

I do it by protecting us all
with my guns.

LARRY:
I'll dedicate my next book
to you all.

We promise we'll try not to
torture you so much in future.

Pass the vegetables please.

LARRY:
Auntie.

You like tomato?

MARGO:
Is there enough food for...

MARGO:
Don't hold back, Gerry.

♪

DIONISIA:
I already liked you more.

[laughing]

[quiet talking]

So, now we are seven.