subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Stay.Tuned.1992.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG.mp4_1722660286

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified) Download

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish Download

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,827 --> 00:00:17,127 Doogie! 2 00:00:17,128 --> 00:00:19,428 Douglas, I can't understand why you're so angry. 3 00:00:19,431 --> 00:00:21,164 We caught the fish. 4 00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:22,566 Ha ha. 5 00:00:22,568 --> 00:00:24,334 A good-sized critter, 6 00:00:24,336 --> 00:00:25,469 I might add. 7 00:00:25,471 --> 00:00:27,571 You just don't get it, dad. 8 00:00:27,573 --> 00:00:31,675 I don't care. I never wanted to come here. 9 00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:33,927 What? 10 00:00:33,928 --> 00:00:36,178 I could be in palm springs with wanda right now. 11 00:00:36,181 --> 00:00:38,549 Instead, I'm stuck out here— 12 00:00:38,551 --> 00:00:39,883 Needs more butter. 13 00:00:39,885 --> 00:00:41,718 Talking to the fish! 14 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,754 Butter. 15 00:00:43,756 --> 00:00:45,656 More. 16 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,150 Murray, get the door! 17 00:01:13,152 --> 00:01:15,852 I've grown out of these trips. 18 00:01:15,854 --> 00:01:16,787 Butter. 19 00:01:19,024 --> 00:01:21,258 I don't want to be the great white hunter. 20 00:01:22,361 --> 00:01:26,129 Sorry to disturb you at this hour, mr. Seidenbaum, 21 00:01:26,131 --> 00:01:28,999 But you have been personally selected 22 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,500 To receive a most... 23 00:01:30,502 --> 00:01:31,602 Irresistible offer. 24 00:01:31,604 --> 00:01:32,836 Giving me instructions 25 00:01:32,838 --> 00:01:35,072 Like I was still a little boy. 26 00:01:35,074 --> 00:01:37,507 I didn't realize you felt like this. 27 00:01:37,509 --> 00:01:42,112 I'm surprised you didn't say anything before this. 28 00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:46,717 Murray, what are you doing back there? 29 00:01:46,719 --> 00:01:48,051 Murray! 30 00:01:49,221 --> 00:01:53,357 Aah! 31 00:03:59,785 --> 00:04:01,284 My name is darryl knable. 32 00:04:01,286 --> 00:04:04,921 I'm a normal kid who led a pretty normal life... 33 00:04:04,923 --> 00:04:06,223 Until that night. 34 00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,358 It looks and feels natural, 35 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,826 Whether you're skimming the surf 36 00:04:09,828 --> 00:04:12,796 Or racing the wind on a cruiser for two. 37 00:04:12,798 --> 00:04:14,865 And remember, we stand behind it. 38 00:04:14,867 --> 00:04:17,934 I'm not only the hair club president, 39 00:04:17,936 --> 00:04:20,387 But also a client. 40 00:04:20,388 --> 00:04:22,839 In describing my dad, several names come to mind— 41 00:04:22,841 --> 00:04:24,341 Bill cosby, alan thicke, 42 00:04:24,343 --> 00:04:25,675 The brady bunch father. 43 00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:27,310 My dad watched all of them. 44 00:04:27,312 --> 00:04:31,148 In fact, he watched anything on tv all the time. 45 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:33,083 They say the average american 46 00:04:33,085 --> 00:04:35,152 Watches 71/2 hours of tv a day. 47 00:04:35,154 --> 00:04:39,289 If that's true, there are two guys who never watch, 48 00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:42,592 And my dad took their times. 49 00:04:42,594 --> 00:04:44,494 Perhaps I shall one day. 50 00:04:44,496 --> 00:04:47,531 You have some dispatches for me, captain? 51 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:50,200 I have some dispatches for the queen. 52 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:53,336 Prepare to taste corsican steel. 53 00:04:56,475 --> 00:04:58,141 Uhh! 54 00:04:59,144 --> 00:05:01,044 Hi. 55 00:05:01,046 --> 00:05:01,945 Hi. 56 00:05:01,947 --> 00:05:04,214 It's late. 57 00:05:04,215 --> 00:05:06,482 Yeah, I know. I'll be up in a minute, honey. 58 00:05:07,786 --> 00:05:09,753 I'm thinking of renting out 59 00:05:09,755 --> 00:05:11,721 Your side of the bed. 60 00:05:11,723 --> 00:05:13,223 Huh? 61 00:05:20,699 --> 00:05:22,666 Don't get me wrong. 62 00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,634 I like tv just as much as the next person. 63 00:05:24,636 --> 00:05:28,905 It's just there are more things you can do with it 64 00:05:28,907 --> 00:05:31,575 Than only watch it. 65 00:05:31,576 --> 00:05:34,244 For instance, you can also make money with it. 66 00:05:41,687 --> 00:05:44,621 We interrupt this broadcast for a special report. 67 00:05:44,623 --> 00:05:47,657 Young electronics genius darryl knable 68 00:05:47,659 --> 00:05:50,093 Has just won the nobel prize. 69 00:05:50,095 --> 00:05:51,661 Oh, you dipstick. 70 00:05:51,663 --> 00:05:54,164 For secretly videotaping his sister diane 71 00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:56,600 French-kissing with her boyfriend chris. 72 00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:57,901 We're talking tongues here! 73 00:05:57,903 --> 00:06:01,304 For copies of this tape, send $3.00 to... 74 00:06:01,306 --> 00:06:06,042 Darryl knable, 1532 blue jay court— 75 00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:14,918 Hey, knable, your kid's messing up my tv reception again. 76 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,921 And your dog's messing up my dichondra. 77 00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:20,624 Rivets didn't do that. 78 00:06:20,625 --> 00:06:23,326 Then there's a brontosaurus loose in the neighborhood. 79 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:28,331 Bad dog. Bad, bad doggie. 80 00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,867 I'm going to call the fcc! 81 00:06:30,869 --> 00:06:31,868 The fcc! 82 00:06:33,821 --> 00:06:35,771 My mom was a big-deal advertising executive 83 00:06:35,774 --> 00:06:38,442 With a vitamin company. 84 00:06:38,443 --> 00:06:41,111 My dad had this real suck job selling plumbing supplies. 85 00:06:41,113 --> 00:06:43,046 I heard them arguing one night, 86 00:06:43,048 --> 00:06:45,548 And she said he was suffering from 87 00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:48,385 Something called a mid-life crisis, 88 00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:49,886 Whatever that is. 89 00:06:49,888 --> 00:06:51,254 He said he wasn't. 90 00:06:51,256 --> 00:06:54,758 She said he was jealous of her success. 91 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,259 He said he wasn't. 92 00:06:56,261 --> 00:06:58,895 They argued a lot. 93 00:07:08,707 --> 00:07:12,509 Aah! 94 00:07:26,892 --> 00:07:28,058 So that's my dad, 95 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,327 Going to his pretty normal home 96 00:07:30,329 --> 00:07:33,196 After his pretty normal day at his suck job, 97 00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:34,931 Ready to watch his tv. 98 00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:38,735 That brings us to that night I was talking about. 99 00:07:38,737 --> 00:07:41,104 That's when everything changed. 100 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,209 I love you. 101 00:07:46,211 --> 00:07:48,778 I don't care who loves who— 102 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:51,214 I won't play the sap for you. 103 00:07:51,216 --> 00:07:55,218 You killed miles, and you're going over for it. 104 00:07:56,989 --> 00:08:00,523 Wait, wait, wait. Where are you two going? 105 00:08:00,525 --> 00:08:02,826 Mom, remember? 106 00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:05,128 Oh, right. You're spending the night with friends. 107 00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:06,129 Diane... 108 00:08:06,131 --> 00:08:07,464 No boys. 109 00:08:07,465 --> 00:08:08,798 Mother, I am not a child. 110 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,669 Mm-hmm. You go directly to tracy's, you understand? 111 00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:14,204 Right. 112 00:08:16,074 --> 00:08:19,642 Mom, you know my friend billy stephan? 113 00:08:19,644 --> 00:08:20,894 Mm-hmm. 114 00:08:20,895 --> 00:08:22,145 Well, his dad moved out for a while. 115 00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:26,516 Then his parents went away and sat in a hot tub all weekend. 116 00:08:26,518 --> 00:08:29,819 When they got back, billy's dad moved back in 117 00:08:29,821 --> 00:08:31,287 And things were all better. 118 00:08:31,289 --> 00:08:35,425 Did you plan this so your dad and I could be alone? 119 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:39,796 We don't know how much that hip bruise he got— 120 00:08:39,798 --> 00:08:40,864 Roy? 121 00:08:40,866 --> 00:08:42,032 Hi, helen. 122 00:08:42,034 --> 00:08:42,999 I have an idea. 123 00:08:43,001 --> 00:08:46,569 You know how proud I am of you— pass it! 124 00:08:46,571 --> 00:08:49,005 Let's go away. 125 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,440 Go ahead. I'll be there in 4 minutes and 16 seconds. 126 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,675 Roy. Roy, listen. 127 00:08:52,677 --> 00:08:55,445 Let's go away like we used to, 128 00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,180 To the mountains. 129 00:08:57,182 --> 00:08:57,914 O.K. 130 00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:59,249 Just the two of us. 131 00:08:59,251 --> 00:09:01,785 No phones, no kids, no tv. 132 00:09:01,787 --> 00:09:03,319 No tv? 133 00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:05,522 They don't have tv there. 134 00:09:05,524 --> 00:09:07,457 Is there a plug? 135 00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,025 This is abnormal. 136 00:09:09,027 --> 00:09:11,694 Honey, you're just shutting yourself off 137 00:09:11,696 --> 00:09:15,098 From everything and everybody. 138 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,567 Are you having problems? 139 00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:19,969 Is—is it me? 140 00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:21,871 Yes! No. 141 00:09:21,872 --> 00:09:23,338 Is—is it work? Are you having trouble at work? 142 00:09:23,341 --> 00:09:27,510 Of course not. What makes you say something like that? 143 00:09:27,512 --> 00:09:28,978 Shoot, you idiot. Shoot. 144 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:32,115 The one thing we always promised each other 145 00:09:32,117 --> 00:09:34,617 Is that we would remain honest. 146 00:09:34,619 --> 00:09:37,153 We are honest with each other. 147 00:09:37,155 --> 00:09:38,655 Look... 148 00:09:38,656 --> 00:09:40,156 You say that I'm shut off, 149 00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:42,926 That—that I can't open up to you, 150 00:09:42,928 --> 00:09:43,960 That I'm closed down. 151 00:09:43,962 --> 00:09:46,629 O.K., well, I'm going to tell you something 152 00:09:46,631 --> 00:09:48,998 That's—that's very important to me. 153 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,867 I'm going to be completely honest. 154 00:09:50,869 --> 00:09:54,571 I just don't want you to take this the wrong way. 155 00:09:54,573 --> 00:09:58,741 Oh, roy, talk to me. I can take anything. 156 00:09:58,743 --> 00:10:02,245 We're in double overtime here. 157 00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:05,248 Fine! 158 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:07,650 Watch tv. 159 00:10:07,652 --> 00:10:08,518 Thanks, sweetheart. 160 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,753 Could you move just to— 161 00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:11,855 This is unbelievable! 162 00:10:11,857 --> 00:10:14,524 You couldn't listen to me for two minutes 163 00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,960 Without that stupid television being on! 164 00:10:16,962 --> 00:10:19,762 When I married you, you were a doer. 165 00:10:19,764 --> 00:10:21,898 Now all you are is a watcher! 166 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:25,168 He gave it away to drexler. 167 00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:28,138 Drexler fouled at mid-court. 168 00:10:30,208 --> 00:10:31,674 Oh, roy? 169 00:10:31,676 --> 00:10:33,176 Huh? 170 00:10:34,112 --> 00:10:36,412 Hyah—aah! 171 00:10:36,848 --> 00:10:39,716 The tv! 172 00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:41,584 I was afraid 173 00:10:41,586 --> 00:10:44,154 You were keeping tina out of pity, 174 00:10:44,156 --> 00:10:46,189 But that wasn't pity just now. 175 00:10:46,191 --> 00:10:48,558 Now I know you still love me. 176 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,927 It won't die, what's between us. 177 00:10:50,929 --> 00:10:52,562 Do what you will— 178 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:53,496 Never happen. 179 00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:55,198 Ignore it, neglect it— 180 00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:56,899 No further developments in the disappearance 181 00:10:56,902 --> 00:10:59,202 Of murray and sarah seidenbaum of oakview. 182 00:10:59,204 --> 00:11:04,340 Police are still baffled and report they have no clues. 183 00:11:15,187 --> 00:11:16,719 Ahhhh... 184 00:11:16,721 --> 00:11:17,420 Roy... 185 00:11:17,422 --> 00:11:19,522 Your boring little life 186 00:11:19,524 --> 00:11:21,491 Is about to become 187 00:11:21,493 --> 00:11:24,360 Much more exciting. 188 00:11:31,203 --> 00:11:32,702 Mr. Knable? 189 00:11:32,704 --> 00:11:35,838 Sorry to disturb you at this hour, 190 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,807 But you've been personally selected 191 00:11:37,809 --> 00:11:41,144 To receive a most irresistible offer. 192 00:11:41,146 --> 00:11:42,913 I'm busy. 193 00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:44,681 Wait, mr. Knable. I have something you want— 194 00:11:44,683 --> 00:11:45,748 Escape... 195 00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,817 From all your failures and woes, 196 00:11:47,819 --> 00:11:50,353 At the touch of your thumb... 197 00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:52,322 On this. 198 00:11:54,125 --> 00:11:55,625 Go ahead. 199 00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:02,232 Your new controller. 200 00:12:03,301 --> 00:12:08,738 Your passport to the ultimate television adventure. 201 00:12:09,107 --> 00:12:10,139 Cute place. 202 00:12:10,141 --> 00:12:11,241 You fence! 203 00:12:11,243 --> 00:12:13,810 Oh, I used to. 204 00:12:14,246 --> 00:12:16,246 Did you ever, uh, kill anyone? 205 00:12:16,248 --> 00:12:18,715 Of course not. Look, mr., uh... 206 00:12:18,717 --> 00:12:19,549 Spike. 207 00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:21,784 At your service. 208 00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:26,122 What exactly is it that you're selling? 209 00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:28,891 Mmm! Attractive. The little woman. 210 00:12:28,893 --> 00:12:30,760 You two having difficulties? 211 00:12:30,762 --> 00:12:32,829 Well, I don't see how— 212 00:12:32,831 --> 00:12:34,364 I know all about you, roy. 213 00:12:34,366 --> 00:12:37,767 Success, it's like a fly buzzing around your head. 214 00:12:37,769 --> 00:12:40,270 You reach for it, you grab it, 215 00:12:40,272 --> 00:12:42,739 And all you get is... Nothing! 216 00:12:42,741 --> 00:12:44,607 You're tired of nothing, roy, 217 00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:47,277 So you want to hide from everything, 218 00:12:47,279 --> 00:12:49,045 But she gives you heat, right? 219 00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:52,081 Roy, wait till she gets a load of this— 220 00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:56,019 600 and 66 channels of heart-pounding, 221 00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:57,487 Skull-blasting entertainment. 222 00:12:57,489 --> 00:12:59,355 Comedy! Drama! Hot-oil aerobics 223 00:12:59,357 --> 00:13:01,758 Like nothing you've ever seen, brother. 224 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,360 Unlimited entertainment, snatched from the ether 225 00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:07,030 And slammed into your brand-new 44-inch, 226 00:13:07,032 --> 00:13:11,000 900-line resolution, 3-way expanded-matrix, 227 00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:13,970 Dolby stereo tv, right here, roy. 228 00:13:13,972 --> 00:13:15,505 A new tv? 229 00:13:15,506 --> 00:13:17,039 Straight from the temple of high-tech. 230 00:13:17,042 --> 00:13:19,942 Make this thing look like a philco. 231 00:13:19,944 --> 00:13:21,144 Some people would give 232 00:13:21,146 --> 00:13:23,680 Their souls for a system like this. 233 00:13:23,682 --> 00:13:27,250 Just sign here. We're in business. 234 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,421 I—I can't. 235 00:13:33,658 --> 00:13:35,525 All right. 236 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,761 Good night, mr. Knable. 237 00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:42,632 Did I mention, uh... 238 00:13:42,634 --> 00:13:44,334 Free trial? 239 00:13:44,336 --> 00:13:46,135 Free? 240 00:13:49,774 --> 00:13:55,011 Well, roy, all set for the tv adventure of a lifetime? 241 00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:56,446 Now remember... 242 00:13:56,447 --> 00:13:57,880 You'll have to adjust the dish 243 00:13:57,882 --> 00:13:59,615 To fine-tune reception. 244 00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:01,284 Like this. 245 00:14:17,802 --> 00:14:20,503 Enjoy your new system, roy. 246 00:14:20,505 --> 00:14:22,638 We'll be in touch. 247 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,173 Ha ha ha! 248 00:14:24,175 --> 00:14:26,342 That was a dead end! 249 00:14:27,112 --> 00:14:29,912 Ha ha ha ha! 250 00:14:39,424 --> 00:14:40,623 Hi. 251 00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:43,326 Ho ho ho ho ho! 252 00:14:43,328 --> 00:14:45,561 Ha ha ha ha ha! 253 00:14:45,563 --> 00:14:48,798 Ha ha ha ha ha! 254 00:14:52,937 --> 00:14:55,138 Aah! 255 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,407 Now, honey, just keep an open mind. 256 00:14:57,409 --> 00:15:00,710 There's no obligation. I got it on a free trial. 257 00:15:00,712 --> 00:15:04,080 It's a whole satellite system, over 600 channels. 258 00:15:04,082 --> 00:15:06,349 ♪ I hate to leave you ♪ 259 00:15:06,351 --> 00:15:08,918 ♪ but I really must say ♪ 260 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:12,422 ♪ oh, good night, sweetheart ♪ 261 00:15:12,424 --> 00:15:14,724 Wednesdays at 9:00... 262 00:15:14,993 --> 00:15:17,760 The salesman said we'd get a lot of shows 263 00:15:17,762 --> 00:15:20,363 You can't get on regular tv. 264 00:15:20,365 --> 00:15:22,131 Helen? 265 00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:24,667 Helen? 266 00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:27,370 I don't want this anymore! 267 00:15:27,372 --> 00:15:29,972 We thought it would be funny, 268 00:15:29,974 --> 00:15:32,775 If our bob, dressed as a policeman, 269 00:15:32,777 --> 00:15:34,977 Would tell a perfect stranger 270 00:15:34,979 --> 00:15:36,446 Her husband is dead. 271 00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:38,181 Mrs. Cecily barth? 272 00:15:38,183 --> 00:15:39,933 Yes. 273 00:15:39,934 --> 00:15:41,684 Your husband's name was steven barth? 274 00:15:41,686 --> 00:15:42,652 Was? 275 00:15:42,654 --> 00:15:44,187 What do you mean, was? 276 00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:47,523 Did your husband drive a 1978 chevrolet impala? 277 00:15:47,525 --> 00:15:48,558 What are you saying? 278 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,626 Has something happened to my steven? 279 00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:53,963 Watch her reaction to the bad news. 280 00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:55,565 I'm afraid so. 281 00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:56,532 Ah! Aah! 282 00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,736 It's all right. 283 00:15:59,737 --> 00:16:01,871 I think it's time for mrs. Barth 284 00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,006 To be let in on the fun. 285 00:16:04,008 --> 00:16:06,843 Mrs. Barth, look across the street 286 00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:08,845 At that van behind me. 287 00:16:08,847 --> 00:16:12,014 Look really carefully. 288 00:16:12,484 --> 00:16:14,484 Is that, uh... 289 00:16:14,486 --> 00:16:16,018 It's a camera, yes. 290 00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:18,454 Then... You mean... 291 00:16:18,456 --> 00:16:20,022 Yes, mrs. Barth. 292 00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:21,390 You're on... 293 00:16:21,392 --> 00:16:23,926 Sadistic hidden videos? 294 00:16:23,928 --> 00:16:26,028 And you're... Bob. 295 00:16:26,030 --> 00:16:27,630 Ha ha ha ha! 296 00:16:27,632 --> 00:16:28,998 I'm on tv? 297 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,733 Uhh! Oh, you guys! 298 00:16:30,735 --> 00:16:32,602 Oh! 299 00:16:38,443 --> 00:16:41,177 The dish needs adjusting. 300 00:16:46,751 --> 00:16:48,751 Ohh! 301 00:16:49,187 --> 00:16:52,255 That'll improve the reception! 302 00:16:52,724 --> 00:16:54,457 Yeah? 303 00:16:55,527 --> 00:16:56,893 Oh, yeah, roy? 304 00:16:56,895 --> 00:16:59,462 Well, how's this? 305 00:17:00,298 --> 00:17:01,764 You receiving this? 306 00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,266 Are you getting this? 307 00:17:03,268 --> 00:17:04,700 Will you stop it? 308 00:17:04,702 --> 00:17:06,802 I am leaving you, roy. 309 00:17:10,508 --> 00:17:15,478 I want a man who'll touch me rather than his remote control. 310 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,447 Please hang on a second. 311 00:17:18,449 --> 00:17:19,782 We have to talk! 312 00:17:19,784 --> 00:17:22,552 It's too late to talk! 313 00:17:30,695 --> 00:17:33,296 Whoa! 314 00:17:47,245 --> 00:17:49,178 Fasten your seat belts, folks. 315 00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:52,381 It's going to be a bumpy ride! 316 00:17:52,383 --> 00:17:53,883 Ha ha ha ha! 317 00:17:53,885 --> 00:17:56,152 Ha ha ha ha. 318 00:17:56,888 --> 00:18:00,089 And welcome back to... 319 00:18:00,091 --> 00:18:03,359 You can't win! You can't win! 320 00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:06,195 Now let's welcome our new contestants 321 00:18:06,197 --> 00:18:09,599 Roy and helen knable! 322 00:18:13,538 --> 00:18:17,006 Do you know the rules of our game? 323 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,407 What game? 324 00:18:18,409 --> 00:18:21,811 The game with these great prizes. 325 00:18:21,813 --> 00:18:22,979 Jay? 326 00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,146 Feast your eyes on this— 327 00:18:24,148 --> 00:18:26,282 The all-new nappa-crapper 328 00:18:26,284 --> 00:18:29,852 You'll never have to get off your fat butt again. 329 00:18:29,854 --> 00:18:31,387 It has every amenity— 330 00:18:31,389 --> 00:18:32,855 A built-in color tv. 331 00:18:32,857 --> 00:18:36,392 It adjusts to you so you don't have to move. 332 00:18:36,394 --> 00:18:39,261 No more trips to the kitchen during commercials. 333 00:18:39,263 --> 00:18:42,398 Better yet, no more annoying trips to the bathroom. 334 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,835 Your television viewing never has to be interrupted, 335 00:18:45,837 --> 00:18:47,603 And of course, win or lose, 336 00:18:47,605 --> 00:18:51,707 Every contestant takes home a set of encyclopedia satanica! 337 00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:54,977 And now it's time to play... 338 00:18:54,979 --> 00:18:56,379 You can't win. 339 00:18:56,381 --> 00:18:57,613 Back to you, guy. 340 00:18:57,615 --> 00:19:00,082 Roy, the first question's for you. 341 00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:02,084 On your last wedding anniversary, 342 00:19:02,086 --> 00:19:05,454 You missed the romantic dinner your wife had planned. 343 00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:07,990 The reason, a—car trouble. 344 00:19:07,992 --> 00:19:10,926 B—you were running a marathon. 345 00:19:10,928 --> 00:19:13,029 C—you were in a bar 346 00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:16,565 Swilling a beer, watching... World series. 347 00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:18,934 Car trouble, just like I said! 348 00:19:18,936 --> 00:19:21,237 No! Can you take it? 349 00:19:21,239 --> 00:19:23,372 You were watching baseball? 350 00:19:23,374 --> 00:19:25,508 That's right! 351 00:19:27,345 --> 00:19:30,913 Trust me, babe. You walked into the right place. 352 00:19:30,915 --> 00:19:33,499 Very cushy down here. 353 00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,084 You can cool your heels in here for the rest of eternity 354 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,020 If you kiss the right ass. 355 00:19:38,022 --> 00:19:40,589 These lips ain't calloused for nothing! 356 00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:41,724 Ha ha ha ha! 357 00:19:41,726 --> 00:19:43,626 Are you some kind of comedian? 358 00:19:43,628 --> 00:19:46,696 I once opened for liberace in vegas. 359 00:19:46,698 --> 00:19:47,363 Great. 360 00:19:47,365 --> 00:19:48,631 This is the jumbotron. 361 00:19:48,633 --> 00:19:51,267 It's got all the bells and whistles. 362 00:19:51,269 --> 00:19:52,835 It's our official scoreboard. 363 00:19:52,837 --> 00:19:55,037 Keeps track of the sbis. 364 00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:57,139 Souls batted in. 365 00:19:57,141 --> 00:19:58,407 Ha ha ha. 366 00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:01,177 Kind of a sports thing. 367 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,282 Time for the seidenbaums, sir. 368 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,924 Punch 'em up. 369 00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:18,594 Mmm... The seidenbaums. 370 00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:20,629 Yearning for exotic locales. 371 00:20:20,631 --> 00:20:24,266 This episode takes them to tokyo. 372 00:20:24,268 --> 00:20:26,135 They're having a wonderful time 373 00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,903 Starring in their own movie. 374 00:20:27,905 --> 00:20:31,640 It's the seidenbaums versus... 375 00:20:31,642 --> 00:20:35,211 The gigantic stinking-footed lizard! 376 00:20:35,213 --> 00:20:36,612 Aah! 377 00:20:36,614 --> 00:20:37,246 Ooh! 378 00:20:37,248 --> 00:20:40,182 Sayonara, mrs. Seidenbaum. 379 00:20:46,624 --> 00:20:47,923 That's entertainment. 380 00:20:47,925 --> 00:20:49,358 Oh, he's good. 381 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,860 He's so good. 382 00:20:50,862 --> 00:20:52,194 Ha ha ha! 383 00:20:52,196 --> 00:20:53,629 Shocking. 384 00:20:53,631 --> 00:20:56,632 Sir, this is pierce, our new, uh, intern. 385 00:20:56,634 --> 00:20:59,068 If you can't stomach the sight of blood— 386 00:20:59,070 --> 00:21:01,804 It's not the blood I find distressing. 387 00:21:01,806 --> 00:21:03,939 It's your lack of subtext. 388 00:21:03,941 --> 00:21:06,609 Film school graduate. 389 00:21:06,611 --> 00:21:07,710 Yes, sir. 390 00:21:07,712 --> 00:21:09,195 Usc. 391 00:21:09,196 --> 00:21:10,679 I did my thesis on kurosawa and spike lee. 392 00:21:10,681 --> 00:21:14,483 Mr. Pierce, let me educate you about our organization. 393 00:21:14,485 --> 00:21:15,518 Here at hellvision, 394 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,654 We've turned the process of soul acquisition 395 00:21:18,656 --> 00:21:20,189 Into an entertainment extravaganza, 396 00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:25,528 And all for the benefit of one very demanding viewer below. 397 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:26,796 The boss himself, 398 00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:28,564 And I don't mean springsteen. 399 00:21:28,566 --> 00:21:30,833 He has an enormous appetite for misfortune. 400 00:21:30,835 --> 00:21:34,403 It is our job to supply him with an eclectic offering 401 00:21:34,405 --> 00:21:37,406 Of light amusements, not subtext! 402 00:21:37,942 --> 00:21:39,108 Don't go away, knables! 403 00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:42,545 It's time for... The final question. 404 00:21:42,547 --> 00:21:45,247 What's that mean? 405 00:21:45,249 --> 00:21:47,583 The pit! The pit! 406 00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:52,254 Yes, the pit! 407 00:21:52,256 --> 00:21:55,324 And what's down there today, jay? 408 00:21:55,326 --> 00:22:00,095 Lots of slimy, crawly bad things, guy. 409 00:22:00,097 --> 00:22:00,863 Eeeuw! 410 00:22:00,865 --> 00:22:02,531 Now you have 10 seconds 411 00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:06,435 To answer the question correctly, or be... 412 00:22:06,437 --> 00:22:08,003 Eliminated. 413 00:22:08,005 --> 00:22:09,705 Aah! 414 00:22:09,707 --> 00:22:12,608 So the object's to get to the end— 415 00:22:12,610 --> 00:22:15,544 The object's to kill them before the end. 416 00:22:15,546 --> 00:22:17,713 Take the knables, for instance. 417 00:22:17,715 --> 00:22:18,848 They just checked in. 418 00:22:18,850 --> 00:22:21,617 If they survive 24 hours, they go back. 419 00:22:21,619 --> 00:22:24,286 Part of our treaty with the other side. 420 00:22:24,288 --> 00:22:26,422 Kind of a geneva convention 421 00:22:26,424 --> 00:22:28,624 In the war for souls. 422 00:22:28,626 --> 00:22:29,625 Ha ha ha ha! 423 00:22:29,627 --> 00:22:32,895 Name the person who's recently been seeing 424 00:22:32,897 --> 00:22:34,330 A former lover. 425 00:22:34,332 --> 00:22:36,065 Is it, a—roy? 426 00:22:36,067 --> 00:22:36,966 No. 427 00:22:36,968 --> 00:22:38,200 B—helen? 428 00:22:38,202 --> 00:22:41,804 Or c—roy and helen? 429 00:22:41,806 --> 00:22:44,040 I know, I know. 430 00:22:44,041 --> 00:22:46,275 The former lovers we've been seeing are each other! 431 00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:50,179 You're... 432 00:22:50,181 --> 00:22:51,747 Right! 433 00:22:51,749 --> 00:22:54,350 Aah! 434 00:22:54,852 --> 00:22:58,854 We'll be back with the knables' vacation round 435 00:22:58,856 --> 00:23:00,923 Right after this! 436 00:23:05,062 --> 00:23:07,229 How long do they usually last? 437 00:23:07,231 --> 00:23:09,798 Whether they go quickly or not, 438 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,201 In the end, they always join us. 439 00:23:12,203 --> 00:23:14,937 You're forgetting that wiry little peruvian chap. 440 00:23:14,939 --> 00:23:17,573 A mistake, mr. Crowley, that won't be repeated. 441 00:23:17,575 --> 00:23:20,743 Hey, it wasn't me that loused up. Jeez. 442 00:23:20,745 --> 00:23:24,013 Are you implying that if was my fault? 443 00:23:24,615 --> 00:23:25,614 I'm kidding! 444 00:23:25,616 --> 00:23:27,383 You know me. 445 00:23:27,385 --> 00:23:30,386 Always joking. 446 00:23:30,387 --> 00:23:33,388 I think, mr. Crowley, it's time for a little... Field work. 447 00:23:33,391 --> 00:23:34,790 Uh... 448 00:23:34,792 --> 00:23:36,892 Spike. 449 00:23:37,762 --> 00:23:39,328 Sir. 450 00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:41,030 Uh... 451 00:23:41,031 --> 00:23:42,731 Why don't I take you to lunch? 452 00:23:42,733 --> 00:23:45,801 We can sit down. We can— 453 00:23:45,803 --> 00:23:47,870 Oh, boy. 454 00:23:47,872 --> 00:23:50,673 Hey, spike, come on. 455 00:23:50,675 --> 00:23:52,174 You know me. 456 00:23:52,176 --> 00:23:53,275 Heh heh heh. 457 00:23:53,277 --> 00:23:55,477 Chronic foot-in-the-mouth disease. 458 00:23:55,479 --> 00:23:58,247 I don't want to do field work. 459 00:23:58,249 --> 00:23:59,782 I'm executive material. 460 00:23:59,784 --> 00:24:01,750 I belong here with you. 461 00:24:01,752 --> 00:24:04,520 Aaahhh! 462 00:24:06,023 --> 00:24:10,326 Screw up in here, and you're dead meat... 463 00:24:10,328 --> 00:24:12,127 Dead meat. 464 00:24:14,398 --> 00:24:15,864 Mr. And mrs. Knable, 465 00:24:15,866 --> 00:24:17,466 It's time to find out 466 00:24:17,468 --> 00:24:22,104 Where you go on your fantasy vacation. 467 00:24:29,914 --> 00:24:33,515 Door number 1 it is! 468 00:24:34,352 --> 00:24:35,584 What is going on? 469 00:24:35,586 --> 00:24:39,254 You're going on the trip of a lifetime! 470 00:24:39,256 --> 00:24:41,924 Aah! 471 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,500 Ladies and gentlemen, 472 00:24:51,502 --> 00:24:54,003 The main event— 473 00:24:54,005 --> 00:24:55,604 Mixed pairs wrestling. 474 00:24:55,606 --> 00:24:57,206 No holds barred. 475 00:24:57,208 --> 00:25:00,109 No transfusions allowed. 476 00:25:00,111 --> 00:25:02,644 A battle to the death! 477 00:25:02,646 --> 00:25:05,481 This has got to be a dream. 478 00:25:05,483 --> 00:25:08,584 It's a bad dream. 479 00:25:08,585 --> 00:25:11,686 In this corner, roy "the couch potato" knable 480 00:25:11,689 --> 00:25:14,823 And his wife helen the harridan! 481 00:25:14,825 --> 00:25:16,225 I gotta wake up. 482 00:25:16,227 --> 00:25:18,027 And the challengers... 483 00:25:18,029 --> 00:25:19,795 The vilest and evilest duo 484 00:25:19,797 --> 00:25:23,098 Ever to disgrace a wrestling ring... 485 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:27,936 That ogre and ogress... The gorgons! 486 00:25:27,938 --> 00:25:29,872 Rraahhhrr! 487 00:25:29,874 --> 00:25:33,542 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 488 00:25:33,544 --> 00:25:34,443 Rraahhr! 489 00:25:34,445 --> 00:25:36,278 Calm down. Stay calm. 490 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,613 Couch potato, come on. 491 00:25:37,615 --> 00:25:39,548 I—I think he means us. 492 00:25:39,550 --> 00:25:43,152 Excuse me. We're not suppose to be here. 493 00:25:43,154 --> 00:25:44,453 Rrraahhhr! 494 00:25:44,455 --> 00:25:45,621 O.K. Everything goes— 495 00:25:45,623 --> 00:25:48,457 Maim, murder each other, I don't care, 496 00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:49,558 But keep it clean. 497 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,261 When the bell rings, kill or be killed. 498 00:25:52,263 --> 00:25:54,163 Do we look like wrestlers? 499 00:25:54,165 --> 00:25:56,298 We have no idea why we're here. 500 00:25:56,300 --> 00:25:59,935 I'm a senior product manager for a vitamin company. 501 00:25:59,937 --> 00:26:01,537 Senior product manager? 502 00:26:01,539 --> 00:26:02,938 I got a promotion. 503 00:26:02,940 --> 00:26:05,040 Why didn't you tell me? 504 00:26:05,042 --> 00:26:06,775 Roy, you know why. 505 00:26:06,777 --> 00:26:07,993 Why? 506 00:26:07,994 --> 00:26:09,210 Because my success threatens you. 507 00:26:09,213 --> 00:26:12,047 Your success does not threaten me. 508 00:26:12,049 --> 00:26:13,515 It does, too! 509 00:26:14,618 --> 00:26:16,301 Uh-oh. 510 00:26:16,302 --> 00:26:17,985 I've watched enough wrestling to know 511 00:26:17,988 --> 00:26:19,288 It's all fake. 512 00:26:19,290 --> 00:26:21,890 No one ever gets hurt— 513 00:26:21,892 --> 00:26:23,959 Aaaahhhh! Rrraahhrr! 514 00:26:23,961 --> 00:26:25,627 Rrraahhhr! 515 00:26:30,868 --> 00:26:32,801 Roy! 516 00:26:39,610 --> 00:26:41,076 Not fake. 517 00:26:41,078 --> 00:26:43,295 It's not fake. 518 00:26:43,296 --> 00:26:45,513 Run for your life, helen—quickly. 519 00:26:45,516 --> 00:26:47,249 Helen, hold me... 520 00:26:47,251 --> 00:26:48,951 Aah! 521 00:26:57,895 --> 00:26:58,861 Aah! 522 00:26:58,863 --> 00:27:01,563 Watch, mr. Pierce. See how it's done. 523 00:27:01,565 --> 00:27:05,801 The exhilarating end of a tedious life. 524 00:27:09,173 --> 00:27:10,706 Grrr! 525 00:27:13,010 --> 00:27:14,409 Get up. Get up! 526 00:27:14,411 --> 00:27:20,282 Here comes that gorgon girl to finish the job. 527 00:27:20,284 --> 00:27:23,185 Leave him alone, you bitch! 528 00:27:23,187 --> 00:27:25,087 Grrr! 529 00:27:25,089 --> 00:27:26,155 I apologize. 530 00:27:26,157 --> 00:27:29,925 You're probably really not a bitch. 531 00:27:29,927 --> 00:27:31,593 Roy, get up! 532 00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:35,264 The gorgon's in the seats! 533 00:27:35,266 --> 00:27:36,665 He's history! 534 00:27:36,667 --> 00:27:37,900 Roy! 535 00:27:37,902 --> 00:27:40,669 You know, for a full-figured woman, 536 00:27:40,671 --> 00:27:43,138 You really wear that outfit well. 537 00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:44,740 Help! Ow! 538 00:27:44,742 --> 00:27:46,942 Whoa, nellie! Cat fight! 539 00:27:46,944 --> 00:27:49,111 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 540 00:27:49,113 --> 00:27:51,980 This could be the end. 541 00:27:53,150 --> 00:27:54,683 Grrr! 542 00:28:00,457 --> 00:28:03,458 My hair! 543 00:28:18,242 --> 00:28:20,042 Looks like that pathetic loser 544 00:28:20,044 --> 00:28:25,714 Isn't going to be as easy as we thought. 545 00:28:30,721 --> 00:28:31,553 Roy. 546 00:28:31,555 --> 00:28:33,488 What happened? 547 00:28:33,490 --> 00:28:34,656 We won. 548 00:28:34,658 --> 00:28:36,458 Or rather, I won. 549 00:28:36,460 --> 00:28:37,459 Knables! Knables! 550 00:28:37,461 --> 00:28:39,461 Knables! Knables! 551 00:28:39,463 --> 00:28:42,297 Knables! Knables! 552 00:28:45,169 --> 00:28:47,436 All right, you won, too. 553 00:28:47,438 --> 00:28:49,171 Damn right. 554 00:28:50,207 --> 00:28:53,008 And your success does not threaten me. 555 00:28:53,010 --> 00:28:55,477 It does, too. 556 00:29:20,004 --> 00:29:22,704 Totally wicked. 557 00:29:29,613 --> 00:29:31,713 Excellent. 558 00:29:35,185 --> 00:29:39,221 Where's mom and d— oh, my god. 559 00:29:39,690 --> 00:29:41,590 Dad must have gotten it last night. 560 00:29:41,592 --> 00:29:43,325 How did james dean really die? 561 00:29:43,327 --> 00:29:48,897 Find out tonight on autopsies of the rich and famous. 562 00:29:54,872 --> 00:29:57,606 The usual, sir? 563 00:29:57,608 --> 00:29:59,975 Please. 564 00:30:29,039 --> 00:30:30,472 Bizarre. 565 00:30:30,473 --> 00:30:31,906 Welcome to northern overexposure, 566 00:30:31,907 --> 00:30:33,340 The story of a young doctor from new york 567 00:30:33,344 --> 00:30:36,912 Who comes to alaska, complains about everything, 568 00:30:36,914 --> 00:30:39,281 And freezes to death. 569 00:30:48,625 --> 00:30:52,928 Hello! Yoo-hoo, mister! 570 00:30:52,930 --> 00:30:56,098 Stay away! These are my holes! 571 00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:56,798 Back off! 572 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,934 Oh, knable, it's only you. 573 00:30:58,936 --> 00:31:01,136 How does he know our name? 574 00:31:01,138 --> 00:31:04,172 Trying to find a conduit out of here. 575 00:31:04,174 --> 00:31:05,774 Conduit? 576 00:31:05,775 --> 00:31:07,375 Yeah. A window to the next channel. 577 00:31:07,378 --> 00:31:10,545 If you think I'm spending the rest of eternity here, 578 00:31:10,547 --> 00:31:11,580 You're crazy! 579 00:31:13,050 --> 00:31:15,617 Here it is! Here it is! 580 00:31:15,619 --> 00:31:17,552 This is it! 581 00:31:27,097 --> 00:31:29,431 The shack! 582 00:31:36,874 --> 00:31:38,840 Aah! 583 00:31:40,377 --> 00:31:42,844 Helen! Helen! 584 00:31:57,694 --> 00:32:01,062 Hey, mom and dad left us a note. 585 00:32:01,064 --> 00:32:02,063 Give me that. 586 00:32:02,065 --> 00:32:05,200 "Dear kids, had to leave for a while. 587 00:32:05,202 --> 00:32:08,103 "Will call tomorrow to explain. 588 00:32:08,105 --> 00:32:09,271 Love, mom." 589 00:32:09,273 --> 00:32:12,441 Killer! The house to myself! 590 00:32:12,443 --> 00:32:14,476 They did it. 591 00:32:14,477 --> 00:32:16,510 They went away, just like billy's mom and dad did. 592 00:32:16,513 --> 00:32:19,748 And now it's your turn to go away, dweebnik. 593 00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:23,585 Shelley, it's me. Guess what? 594 00:33:41,999 --> 00:33:43,698 What are you doing? 595 00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:45,367 Did you see that? 596 00:33:45,369 --> 00:33:47,702 That dish, it ate my bmx. 597 00:33:47,704 --> 00:33:51,139 Is this some kind of male puberty thing? 598 00:33:52,409 --> 00:33:54,309 Let me get this straight. 599 00:33:54,311 --> 00:33:57,913 We've been sucked into some kind of tv world? 600 00:33:57,915 --> 00:34:00,181 Are you saying that that salesman was— 601 00:34:00,183 --> 00:34:01,900 Mr. Spike— 602 00:34:01,901 --> 00:34:03,618 Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, 603 00:34:03,620 --> 00:34:05,487 Big brother to the ungrateful dead. 604 00:34:05,489 --> 00:34:09,457 If we ever cross channels again—ho ho ho! 605 00:34:09,459 --> 00:34:10,625 Roy, how could you? 606 00:34:10,627 --> 00:34:13,161 I thought I was buying a tv. 607 00:34:13,163 --> 00:34:16,064 Oh! This is just great. 608 00:34:16,066 --> 00:34:17,165 This is great. 609 00:34:17,167 --> 00:34:19,501 You wanted to live in a tv fantasy? 610 00:34:19,503 --> 00:34:20,869 You got your wish. 611 00:34:20,871 --> 00:34:23,271 At least we're not dead. 612 00:34:23,273 --> 00:34:24,005 Not yet. 613 00:34:24,007 --> 00:34:26,041 Stay alive another 15 hours— 614 00:34:26,043 --> 00:34:28,810 Bingo. Free pass back to reality. 615 00:34:28,812 --> 00:34:31,179 The odds of making it are— 616 00:34:33,483 --> 00:34:34,883 Oh, my. 617 00:34:34,885 --> 00:34:37,953 The cold's no place for a stiff. 618 00:34:37,955 --> 00:34:39,020 Oh, my god. 619 00:34:39,022 --> 00:34:40,388 Don't panic. 620 00:34:40,390 --> 00:34:42,757 I got us into this, I'll get us out. 621 00:34:42,759 --> 00:34:47,262 Your leadership skills couldn't get us out of a t-shirt! 622 00:34:53,136 --> 00:34:55,203 I'll get it! 623 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,572 Hi! Hi! Hi! 624 00:34:57,574 --> 00:34:59,708 Hi. Come in. 625 00:35:06,617 --> 00:35:09,451 I don't believe in out-of-body experiences. 626 00:35:09,453 --> 00:35:12,153 That's because you hold your emotions back. 627 00:35:12,155 --> 00:35:14,072 Do not. 628 00:35:14,073 --> 00:35:15,990 What do you think of this color? 629 00:35:15,993 --> 00:35:17,058 That's all right. 630 00:35:17,060 --> 00:35:20,362 I don't think it really goes in here. 631 00:35:20,364 --> 00:35:21,429 Clashes with the bars. 632 00:35:21,431 --> 00:35:24,099 You can't really say you're an expressive person. 633 00:35:24,101 --> 00:35:27,369 What do you think of this color here? 634 00:35:27,371 --> 00:35:29,537 Clashes with the bars. 635 00:35:29,539 --> 00:35:31,906 See? I told you. 636 00:35:31,908 --> 00:35:34,743 Coming this fall... 637 00:35:36,913 --> 00:35:39,714 ♪ row, row, row your boat ♪ 638 00:35:39,716 --> 00:35:42,083 ♪ gently down the stream ♪ 639 00:35:42,085 --> 00:35:43,585 ♪ merrily, merrily, merrily... ♪ 640 00:35:43,587 --> 00:35:45,954 These kids are driving me crazy! 641 00:35:45,956 --> 00:35:48,456 Wish there was some way to shut them up! 642 00:35:48,458 --> 00:35:51,760 For those long, tedious car trips, you need... 643 00:35:51,762 --> 00:35:54,062 The silencer of the lambs. 644 00:35:54,064 --> 00:35:57,699 Driving will never be the same. 645 00:35:59,436 --> 00:36:03,505 Silencer of the pets sold separately. 646 00:36:04,141 --> 00:36:07,842 It's... 647 00:36:16,153 --> 00:36:18,086 My bike. 648 00:36:20,223 --> 00:36:23,224 That's my bike. 649 00:36:25,162 --> 00:36:28,496 You saw a bike like yours on tv. 650 00:36:28,498 --> 00:36:29,164 So what? 651 00:36:29,166 --> 00:36:31,499 Not a bike like my bike. 652 00:36:31,501 --> 00:36:32,834 My bike! Come on. 653 00:36:32,836 --> 00:36:34,736 Stop it! Leave me alone. 654 00:36:34,738 --> 00:36:36,504 Look, there's something else. 655 00:36:36,506 --> 00:36:41,242 I found this on the ground near the dish. 656 00:36:46,116 --> 00:36:46,981 Mom's watch. 657 00:36:46,983 --> 00:36:49,117 It stopped at 10:30. 658 00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:51,953 This is going to sound totally crazy, 659 00:36:51,955 --> 00:36:54,739 But I don't think 660 00:36:54,740 --> 00:36:57,524 Mom and dad went to the mountains for the weekend. 661 00:36:57,527 --> 00:37:00,361 Come on, diane! 662 00:37:00,363 --> 00:37:04,432 Look, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, o.K.? 663 00:37:04,434 --> 00:37:06,367 Now leave us alone! 664 00:37:06,369 --> 00:37:08,169 Diane, whatever you do, 665 00:37:08,171 --> 00:37:11,272 Don't go in the back yard, o.K.? 666 00:37:11,274 --> 00:37:14,509 Don't go in the back yard! 667 00:37:16,079 --> 00:37:17,245 If you'll excuse me, 668 00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:19,147 I'm off to warmer megahertz. 669 00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:21,182 Going to find a channel with sun, 670 00:37:21,184 --> 00:37:23,918 Funny drinks with those little umbrellas, 671 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,421 And maybe a dog track. 672 00:37:29,459 --> 00:37:31,426 All clear. 673 00:37:35,132 --> 00:37:37,198 Hey! Aah! 674 00:37:39,636 --> 00:37:44,038 I'm already dead! Save her! 675 00:37:59,923 --> 00:38:01,756 We got to get to that conduit! 676 00:38:01,758 --> 00:38:04,626 Roy, it's getting worse! 677 00:38:05,162 --> 00:38:08,429 Wait, wait, wait. I got an idea. 678 00:38:08,431 --> 00:38:10,965 Push! Come on, now. 679 00:38:26,516 --> 00:38:27,649 There it is. 680 00:38:27,651 --> 00:38:29,984 There it is! 681 00:38:31,188 --> 00:38:33,121 Come on. 682 00:38:59,149 --> 00:39:00,148 Jump. 683 00:39:00,150 --> 00:39:02,751 Jump? 684 00:39:02,752 --> 00:39:05,353 Wherever it leads can't be any worse than this. 685 00:39:21,538 --> 00:39:22,670 Yeow! 686 00:39:22,672 --> 00:39:24,305 Umph! 687 00:39:27,177 --> 00:39:30,144 Couldn't be any worse, huh, roy? 688 00:39:30,146 --> 00:39:31,579 Helen? 689 00:39:31,581 --> 00:39:33,014 Oh, my god! 690 00:39:33,016 --> 00:39:35,216 We're cartoons. 691 00:39:36,419 --> 00:39:38,052 Boy, this is strange. 692 00:39:38,054 --> 00:39:40,922 Strange? I'm an animated rodent 693 00:39:40,924 --> 00:39:43,191 Wearing high-heeled running shoes. 694 00:39:43,193 --> 00:39:46,561 The word "strange" is somehow lacking. 695 00:39:57,374 --> 00:39:59,140 At least we're safe here. 696 00:39:59,142 --> 00:40:02,043 No one ever dies in cartoons, right? 697 00:40:02,045 --> 00:40:04,145 Ralph, I left some food out. 698 00:40:04,147 --> 00:40:06,481 I hope it doesn't attract any mice. 699 00:40:06,483 --> 00:40:09,183 Don't worry. That new device is guaranteed. 700 00:40:09,185 --> 00:40:12,420 No rodent stands a chance in there. 701 00:40:22,499 --> 00:40:24,265 Stay tuned. 702 00:40:24,935 --> 00:40:27,435 How can you even think of eating doughnuts 703 00:40:27,437 --> 00:40:28,770 At a time like this? 704 00:40:28,772 --> 00:40:32,540 Should I look for some oat bran? I'm starved. 705 00:40:32,542 --> 00:40:35,310 If you don't come down, I'm leaving. 706 00:40:35,312 --> 00:40:38,413 Where you going to go, your cartoon mother's house? 707 00:40:38,415 --> 00:40:41,282 I am warning you, roy. 708 00:40:42,285 --> 00:40:44,686 Roy? 709 00:40:44,687 --> 00:40:47,088 Wow! These things are as big as buicks. 710 00:40:47,090 --> 00:40:49,290 I'm gone. That's it. 711 00:40:49,292 --> 00:40:52,560 I said we're through, and we are through. 712 00:40:52,562 --> 00:40:54,996 I can do better on my own. 713 00:40:54,998 --> 00:40:58,967 I am not a mouse. I'm helen knable. 714 00:40:58,969 --> 00:41:00,668 I have an mba. 715 00:41:00,670 --> 00:41:03,237 I live at 1532 blue jay court. 716 00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,907 I have two beautiful children— 717 00:41:05,909 --> 00:41:09,610 Who I may never see again. 718 00:41:09,612 --> 00:41:11,980 Mom? 719 00:41:19,155 --> 00:41:20,922 Roy? 720 00:41:29,966 --> 00:41:34,469 Warning—you are trespassing in a human habitation. 721 00:41:34,471 --> 00:41:37,271 The penalty is death. 722 00:41:48,018 --> 00:41:50,852 My doctor was right. 723 00:41:50,853 --> 00:41:53,687 Doughnuts will be the death of me. 724 00:42:28,191 --> 00:42:29,457 Aah! Aah! 725 00:42:29,459 --> 00:42:31,092 Aah! Aah! 726 00:42:36,933 --> 00:42:39,300 Would you let go of me? 727 00:42:39,302 --> 00:42:42,770 You have to see this. 728 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:46,290 There. 729 00:42:46,291 --> 00:42:48,341 This will work. It worked on macgyver. 730 00:42:48,344 --> 00:42:50,545 What are you talking about? 731 00:42:50,547 --> 00:42:51,679 Can't you see? 732 00:42:51,681 --> 00:42:54,916 It's mom and dad in the cartoon. 733 00:42:54,918 --> 00:42:57,185 Very funny, pus-head. 734 00:42:57,187 --> 00:43:01,522 Diane, you've got to believe me. 735 00:43:18,108 --> 00:43:22,777 Kids, don't try this at home. 736 00:43:53,710 --> 00:43:56,444 I think we lost them. 737 00:43:57,180 --> 00:43:58,980 What? 738 00:43:58,981 --> 00:44:00,781 For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy. 739 00:44:00,783 --> 00:44:03,484 Too bad you didn't like the way I looked 740 00:44:03,486 --> 00:44:05,052 When I was human. 741 00:44:05,054 --> 00:44:06,587 I always did. 742 00:44:06,589 --> 00:44:08,623 News to me. 743 00:44:08,625 --> 00:44:10,224 I'm sorry. 744 00:44:16,799 --> 00:44:17,698 Surrender. 745 00:44:17,700 --> 00:44:19,700 Come out with... 746 00:44:34,751 --> 00:44:38,553 Look! Roy, turn! Turn! 747 00:44:40,623 --> 00:44:42,890 Helen, wait! 748 00:44:49,032 --> 00:44:52,366 This is one clever pussy. 749 00:44:53,536 --> 00:44:54,835 I've watched enough cartoons. 750 00:44:54,837 --> 00:44:57,071 How would an animated character 751 00:44:57,073 --> 00:44:58,706 Handle this? 752 00:45:04,414 --> 00:45:08,649 This will put a permanent crease in his shorts. 753 00:45:13,690 --> 00:45:16,991 Identify yourself. 754 00:45:16,993 --> 00:45:19,460 Catnip-gram. 755 00:45:52,762 --> 00:45:56,264 I'll never get out of here. 756 00:46:01,571 --> 00:46:05,706 Deeb-a-deeb-a-deeb— that's all, folks. 757 00:46:08,211 --> 00:46:11,946 I've lost the feeling in my arm. 758 00:46:11,948 --> 00:46:15,449 All of a sudden, I can't see anything. 759 00:46:15,451 --> 00:46:17,418 Uhh! Oh! 760 00:46:18,421 --> 00:46:21,489 Sundays at 8:00... 761 00:46:21,491 --> 00:46:24,225 It's... 762 00:46:26,162 --> 00:46:27,795 Where did he go? 763 00:46:27,797 --> 00:46:30,464 Duane's underworld. 764 00:46:30,466 --> 00:46:32,867 Duane's underworld. 765 00:46:32,869 --> 00:46:36,070 It's partytime! Excellent! 766 00:46:39,542 --> 00:46:42,743 Welcome to duane's underworld, o father of lies. 767 00:46:42,745 --> 00:46:44,211 I'm your excrement host duane, 768 00:46:44,213 --> 00:46:48,082 And with me as always is my slightly decaying cohost garf. 769 00:46:48,084 --> 00:46:48,883 Wifto! Wifto! 770 00:46:48,885 --> 00:46:50,318 Party eternally, garf. 771 00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:51,452 Party eternally, duane. 772 00:46:51,454 --> 00:46:53,954 All right. Today we have a special guest, 773 00:46:53,956 --> 00:46:56,791 A man who can't even sell plumping supplies. 774 00:46:56,793 --> 00:46:59,994 Shhyeah! Like no one uses a toilet. 775 00:46:59,996 --> 00:47:01,696 Mr. Roy knable. 776 00:47:01,698 --> 00:47:04,165 Salutations, o mighty failure. 777 00:47:04,167 --> 00:47:07,168 Mr. Knable, before we get started, 778 00:47:07,170 --> 00:47:10,905 Tell me what you see on this card. 779 00:47:10,907 --> 00:47:14,108 I... War ship... Satin? 780 00:47:14,110 --> 00:47:16,143 Excrement. 781 00:47:18,181 --> 00:47:20,632 Now, I understand 782 00:47:20,633 --> 00:47:23,084 You're searching for your lovely wife helen... 783 00:47:23,086 --> 00:47:25,519 Who I truly believe you will find, 784 00:47:25,521 --> 00:47:28,589 Because good always conquers over evil... 785 00:47:28,591 --> 00:47:31,025 Not! Not! 786 00:47:34,497 --> 00:47:37,431 In order to assist you in your efforts, 787 00:47:37,433 --> 00:47:40,468 We have located a photograph of your wife 788 00:47:40,470 --> 00:47:42,370 To show our viewers. 789 00:47:42,372 --> 00:47:44,004 Where did that come from? 790 00:47:44,006 --> 00:47:45,906 She's a vixen, mr. K. 791 00:47:45,908 --> 00:47:47,141 Beezle-babe! Tent pole! 792 00:47:47,143 --> 00:47:49,844 Lady knable, we salute you. 793 00:47:49,846 --> 00:47:50,911 Schwing! Schwing! 794 00:47:50,913 --> 00:47:52,680 And your daughter's pompoms, 795 00:47:52,682 --> 00:47:54,982 They're delectable, too, man. 796 00:47:54,984 --> 00:47:55,916 You creeps! 797 00:47:55,918 --> 00:48:00,554 Uh-oh. Extreme close-up on mr. Knable. 798 00:48:00,556 --> 00:48:02,356 Oh! Oh! 799 00:48:06,095 --> 00:48:07,728 Excellent. 800 00:48:08,364 --> 00:48:10,464 One more time! 801 00:48:14,303 --> 00:48:16,036 Man, I'm getting dizzy. 802 00:48:16,038 --> 00:48:17,405 I could hurl. 803 00:48:17,407 --> 00:48:19,073 No. Chew it back, man. 804 00:48:19,075 --> 00:48:23,511 Now the red-hot-poker- in-the-eye cam. 805 00:48:36,692 --> 00:48:38,659 Bogus. 806 00:48:39,395 --> 00:48:40,828 I'm black and white. 807 00:48:40,830 --> 00:48:44,231 Hello. Testing, testing. 808 00:48:45,168 --> 00:48:47,968 "Roy knable, private dick." 809 00:48:47,970 --> 00:48:50,771 Well, better than being a public dick. 810 00:48:50,773 --> 00:48:55,276 O.K., I'm in some old movie. Must be on cable. 811 00:48:55,278 --> 00:48:58,112 I've been watching these things my whole life. 812 00:48:58,114 --> 00:49:00,247 I should know what to do. 813 00:49:00,249 --> 00:49:02,983 Be like bogart, like in the maltese falcon. 814 00:49:02,985 --> 00:49:05,820 I'm on a case. I got to find helen. 815 00:49:05,822 --> 00:49:07,421 Got to find the clues. 816 00:49:07,423 --> 00:49:11,692 Got to find out how to use this thing. 817 00:49:14,796 --> 00:49:16,629 Mr. Knable, you've dropped your gun again. 818 00:49:16,632 --> 00:49:18,265 I know! 819 00:49:21,971 --> 00:49:25,206 Roy, is that you? 820 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,746 Sir... Great news. 821 00:49:32,748 --> 00:49:34,582 Your new class of recruits— 822 00:49:34,584 --> 00:49:38,018 We've taken possession of all of them, 823 00:49:38,020 --> 00:49:39,487 Except two, sir. 824 00:49:39,489 --> 00:49:42,623 Oh! I know that, you postulating putz! 825 00:49:42,625 --> 00:49:45,626 They've just been lucky, that's all. 826 00:49:45,628 --> 00:49:46,694 Have they? 827 00:49:46,696 --> 00:49:49,964 You know, the strain of your job 828 00:49:49,966 --> 00:49:51,165 Must be tremendous. 829 00:49:51,167 --> 00:49:52,733 Ever considered taking a vacation, 830 00:49:52,735 --> 00:49:56,570 Letting someone else take the burden off your shoulders? 831 00:49:56,572 --> 00:49:59,240 Someone else? 832 00:49:59,242 --> 00:50:00,241 You? 833 00:50:00,243 --> 00:50:02,343 I'm flattered you'd even think 834 00:50:02,345 --> 00:50:04,311 I could fill your shoes. 835 00:50:04,313 --> 00:50:06,180 But I'm ready to try, sir. 836 00:50:06,182 --> 00:50:09,683 And now... Get in shape with the exorcisist. 837 00:50:09,685 --> 00:50:12,620 Come on, people, let's get in shape. 838 00:50:12,622 --> 00:50:15,356 Come on. Make it burn. 839 00:50:15,358 --> 00:50:17,658 Feel it burn. 840 00:50:18,661 --> 00:50:20,394 Good, doreen. 841 00:50:20,396 --> 00:50:23,130 O.K., everybody, head spins. 842 00:50:23,132 --> 00:50:24,098 With me. 843 00:50:24,100 --> 00:50:25,900 Ready, go. 844 00:50:26,135 --> 00:50:28,269 Very good. Very nice. 845 00:50:28,271 --> 00:50:30,538 I like it. 846 00:50:30,540 --> 00:50:31,939 O.K., that's good. 847 00:50:31,941 --> 00:50:33,941 Cool down. Shake it out. 848 00:50:33,943 --> 00:50:35,743 O.K., now vomit. 849 00:50:35,745 --> 00:50:39,613 Kids, now there's a new beer just for you. 850 00:50:39,615 --> 00:50:41,298 It's got no alcohol, 851 00:50:41,299 --> 00:50:42,982 But it'll make you act just like dad. 852 00:50:42,985 --> 00:50:45,786 Give me another one, babe. 853 00:50:45,788 --> 00:50:48,189 That's my boy. 854 00:50:48,190 --> 00:50:50,591 Yogi beer. You'll be just like your dad. 855 00:50:54,397 --> 00:50:55,329 Dad? 856 00:51:01,203 --> 00:51:03,504 Get away from the dish. 857 00:51:03,506 --> 00:51:05,806 Darryl, what is with you? 858 00:51:05,808 --> 00:51:07,575 Get lost. 859 00:51:15,117 --> 00:51:17,451 5, 6, 7, 8. 860 00:51:20,389 --> 00:51:22,523 5, 6, 7, 8. 861 00:51:25,795 --> 00:51:27,895 5, 6, 7, 8. 862 00:51:27,897 --> 00:51:29,396 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 863 00:51:29,398 --> 00:51:31,065 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 864 00:51:31,067 --> 00:51:33,601 Darryl, what are you doing? 865 00:51:33,603 --> 00:51:36,337 Darryl! Oh, my god! 866 00:51:36,339 --> 00:51:40,641 Guys, wait! It's not my fault my brother's a creep! 867 00:51:42,712 --> 00:51:44,411 Darryl! 868 00:51:44,413 --> 00:51:46,046 Darryl! 869 00:51:46,048 --> 00:51:47,848 Darryl! 870 00:51:52,254 --> 00:51:53,587 You're pizza topping! 871 00:51:53,589 --> 00:51:56,557 Wait. Mom and dad are here. 872 00:51:56,559 --> 00:51:58,392 They're home? 873 00:51:58,661 --> 00:52:01,528 Well, not exactly. 874 00:52:01,530 --> 00:52:03,063 Look. 875 00:52:06,702 --> 00:52:08,869 See? That's dad. 876 00:52:08,871 --> 00:52:11,238 That is not dad. 877 00:52:14,510 --> 00:52:16,010 Mom? 878 00:52:16,946 --> 00:52:19,530 That looks like mom. 879 00:52:19,531 --> 00:52:22,115 It is mom. That's what I've been trying to tell you. 880 00:52:22,118 --> 00:52:25,753 Our parents are trapped in television. 881 00:52:26,188 --> 00:52:27,855 Oh, wow. 882 00:52:27,857 --> 00:52:29,623 "Classy dame vanishes. 883 00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:32,860 Last seen at club seidenbaum." 884 00:52:33,663 --> 00:52:35,396 Helen. 885 00:52:35,398 --> 00:52:36,463 Seidenbaum. 886 00:52:36,465 --> 00:52:37,631 That name is famil— 887 00:52:37,633 --> 00:52:39,433 Oh, my god. Murray seidenbaum. 888 00:52:39,435 --> 00:52:41,201 He lives right near me. 889 00:52:41,203 --> 00:52:43,337 He borrowed my lawn mower. 890 00:52:47,576 --> 00:52:49,576 Obviously, we're dealing with something 891 00:52:49,578 --> 00:52:51,245 Of a supernatural nature here, diane. 892 00:52:51,247 --> 00:52:55,816 I mean, this thing, it did not come from radio shack. 893 00:52:55,818 --> 00:53:00,087 Yeah, so you're the smart one. Think of something. 894 00:53:00,089 --> 00:53:02,940 O.K., um... 895 00:53:02,941 --> 00:53:05,792 What goes in a dish and winds up on tv? 896 00:53:05,795 --> 00:53:08,062 My bike... 897 00:53:08,064 --> 00:53:09,930 Our parents... 898 00:53:12,134 --> 00:53:13,734 Follow me. 899 00:53:21,477 --> 00:53:24,178 Hey, not my stereo. 900 00:53:24,180 --> 00:53:25,579 I need the parts. 901 00:53:25,581 --> 00:53:27,514 Go downstairs and watch them. 902 00:53:27,516 --> 00:53:29,883 Keep track of them. 903 00:53:38,227 --> 00:53:42,996 Ho ho. Nice work, boys. 904 00:53:43,999 --> 00:53:46,700 Glad you could join me, mrs. Knable. 905 00:53:46,702 --> 00:53:48,469 Didn't have much choice. 906 00:53:48,471 --> 00:53:50,304 Lobster? 907 00:53:50,306 --> 00:53:51,839 Drink. 908 00:53:52,108 --> 00:53:54,141 Where's my husband? 909 00:53:54,143 --> 00:53:55,275 Why worry about him? 910 00:53:55,277 --> 00:53:57,377 I ditched my wife five channels ago. 911 00:53:57,379 --> 00:54:02,449 She happened to meet the business end of a 50-ton reptile. 912 00:54:02,451 --> 00:54:04,118 And I can tell you, 913 00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:07,287 I don't exactly miss dried meat loaf. 914 00:54:07,289 --> 00:54:09,223 This is great here. Great. 915 00:54:09,225 --> 00:54:11,658 I don't ever want to get out. 916 00:54:11,660 --> 00:54:14,294 Outside, I was murray the doormat. 917 00:54:14,296 --> 00:54:17,865 In here... Boss seidenbaum. 918 00:54:18,968 --> 00:54:21,268 Brought my remote in with me. 919 00:54:21,270 --> 00:54:24,438 Gets too hot—bam, I'm on another channel. 920 00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,607 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 921 00:54:26,609 --> 00:54:28,175 Aah! Aah! 922 00:54:28,177 --> 00:54:29,143 Oh! Oh! 923 00:54:29,145 --> 00:54:31,812 You're not coming in here! 924 00:54:34,984 --> 00:54:36,717 Euh! Euh! 925 00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:37,851 Ahhh! 926 00:54:37,853 --> 00:54:40,254 Well, look who showed up. 927 00:54:40,256 --> 00:54:41,255 Where's my— 928 00:54:41,257 --> 00:54:41,989 Hello, roy. 929 00:54:41,991 --> 00:54:43,323 Helen, you're all right. 930 00:54:43,325 --> 00:54:46,026 You— you look terrific! 931 00:54:46,028 --> 00:54:47,294 Oh, really? 932 00:54:47,296 --> 00:54:51,131 Hey, seidenbaum! I'm taking over your business! 933 00:54:51,133 --> 00:54:54,401 Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! 934 00:55:16,158 --> 00:55:17,624 Seidenbaum. 935 00:55:17,626 --> 00:55:19,860 Knables. 936 00:55:19,861 --> 00:55:22,095 All I wanted was to be the big shot for once. 937 00:55:22,097 --> 00:55:24,364 Take my remote. Get out of here. 938 00:55:24,366 --> 00:55:29,236 You two still got a chance of making it together. 939 00:55:33,509 --> 00:55:34,908 There it is! 940 00:55:34,910 --> 00:55:36,376 No, no, stay down. 941 00:55:36,378 --> 00:55:38,579 This is my job. 942 00:56:03,372 --> 00:56:05,372 Piece of cake. 943 00:56:05,374 --> 00:56:06,139 O.K., ready? 944 00:56:14,850 --> 00:56:17,251 Oh, my god. I lost them. 945 00:56:17,253 --> 00:56:21,622 The next item we have for you on the... 946 00:56:23,525 --> 00:56:26,293 Dad, where are you? 947 00:56:26,294 --> 00:56:29,062 And now the all-new miniseries about the french revolution... 948 00:56:29,064 --> 00:56:31,865 The story of the marquis de knable, 949 00:56:31,867 --> 00:56:33,617 An enemy of the people, 950 00:56:33,618 --> 00:56:35,368 Who wears a disguise to escape the guillotine. 951 00:56:35,371 --> 00:56:39,973 It's an epic drama of love, danger, and cross-dressing. 952 00:56:46,982 --> 00:56:48,482 Roy. 953 00:56:49,485 --> 00:56:52,019 You have boobs. 954 00:56:53,455 --> 00:56:55,822 Oh, they're not mine. 955 00:57:12,207 --> 00:57:15,008 Psst! Hey, knables. 956 00:57:19,148 --> 00:57:20,247 Nice disguise. 957 00:57:20,249 --> 00:57:21,282 Crowley? 958 00:57:21,283 --> 00:57:22,316 Interesting concept, diagonal boobs. 959 00:57:22,318 --> 00:57:24,818 Could you fix that thing? 960 00:57:24,820 --> 00:57:27,154 Thought the wolves got you. 961 00:57:27,156 --> 00:57:29,222 Tell you something about wolves— 962 00:57:29,224 --> 00:57:30,924 Vicious? Goes without saying. 963 00:57:30,926 --> 00:57:33,127 But not that bright. 964 00:57:33,128 --> 00:57:35,329 While those dumb bunnies were fighting over my appendages, 965 00:57:35,331 --> 00:57:37,464 I managed to escape. 966 00:57:37,465 --> 00:57:39,598 Liberte, citizen. Vive la france! 967 00:57:39,601 --> 00:57:41,101 Power to the people! 968 00:57:41,103 --> 00:57:44,905 Ha ha ha ha! Come on. 969 00:57:51,613 --> 00:57:53,747 Personally, I think he's losing it. 970 00:57:53,749 --> 00:57:55,782 What a pathetic thing to watch. 971 00:57:55,784 --> 00:57:59,519 Only 2 hours left, and your 24 hours are up. 972 00:57:59,521 --> 00:58:02,856 All you got to do is lie low. 973 00:58:04,192 --> 00:58:05,525 Les cops. Les cops. 974 00:58:05,527 --> 00:58:06,910 Inside. Inside. 975 00:58:06,911 --> 00:58:08,294 I'll find a conduit out of here. 976 00:58:08,297 --> 00:58:13,633 Bonjour. Nice day for an execution, non? 977 00:58:16,454 --> 00:58:18,871 Stay tuned for the final chapter of off with his head, 978 00:58:18,874 --> 00:58:22,175 When the marquis de knable finally loses his. 979 00:58:22,177 --> 00:58:23,710 Uh-oh. 980 00:58:26,682 --> 00:58:27,848 Darryl! 981 00:58:27,850 --> 00:58:29,149 We got to jam. 982 00:58:32,588 --> 00:58:34,087 Merci. 983 00:58:34,089 --> 00:58:38,759 Well, we've always wanted to go to paris. 984 00:58:38,994 --> 00:58:41,595 In the 20th century. 985 00:58:41,596 --> 00:58:44,197 Since we're here, we might as well make the best of it. 986 00:58:44,199 --> 00:58:45,766 Make the best of it? 987 00:58:45,768 --> 00:58:47,434 This is the french revolution. 988 00:58:47,436 --> 00:58:49,169 People are trying to kill you. 989 00:58:49,171 --> 00:58:52,839 If we get out of this, things will be different. 990 00:58:52,841 --> 00:58:55,108 I won't just be a watcher. 991 00:58:55,110 --> 00:58:57,878 I'll be the man I was when we first met. 992 00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:02,916 You weren't blond then, and you wore a lot less make-up. 993 00:59:07,556 --> 00:59:12,292 Aim it at the center of the dish! 994 00:59:29,645 --> 00:59:32,646 You are both under arrest! 995 00:59:32,648 --> 00:59:33,346 For what? 996 00:59:33,348 --> 00:59:35,315 For being too beautiful 997 00:59:35,317 --> 00:59:37,651 And without proper escort. 998 00:59:37,653 --> 00:59:38,652 Ha ha ha! 999 00:59:38,654 --> 00:59:41,588 Garcon, more wine! 1000 00:59:54,736 --> 00:59:58,071 O.K. Tv's connected to the dish. 1001 00:59:58,073 --> 01:00:00,640 Now we go for contact. 1002 01:00:17,392 --> 01:00:19,025 There's no interference. 1003 01:00:19,027 --> 01:00:21,628 Nothing's getting through. 1004 01:00:21,964 --> 01:00:23,763 We need more power. 1005 01:00:23,765 --> 01:00:26,933 I'm going to cop some juice. 1006 01:00:27,302 --> 01:00:28,201 Be careful. 1007 01:00:28,203 --> 01:00:31,071 This woman is not who you think. 1008 01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:32,172 She is wanted. 1009 01:00:32,174 --> 01:00:35,208 Of course she's wanted, you fool! 1010 01:00:35,210 --> 01:00:36,309 By me! 1011 01:00:36,311 --> 01:00:38,211 My cherie... 1012 01:00:38,213 --> 01:00:40,747 You inflame me. 1013 01:00:40,749 --> 01:00:43,750 I never kiss on the first date. 1014 01:00:43,752 --> 01:00:44,484 Oh? 1015 01:00:44,486 --> 01:00:46,787 Ooh! Naughty boy. 1016 01:00:46,788 --> 01:00:49,089 This has been a kick, fellas, but we've got to go. 1017 01:00:49,091 --> 01:00:51,925 No, no! Come back here, sweetheart! 1018 01:00:51,927 --> 01:00:53,560 Keep your hands off her! 1019 01:00:53,562 --> 01:00:58,131 Your hair's so beautiful. May I have a lock of it? 1020 01:00:58,133 --> 01:00:58,999 I— 1021 01:00:59,001 --> 01:01:00,551 Oh! Oh! 1022 01:01:00,552 --> 01:01:02,102 Why don't you keep the whole thing? 1023 01:01:02,104 --> 01:01:03,570 I tried to tell you! 1024 01:01:03,572 --> 01:01:06,006 It's the marquis de knable! 1025 01:01:06,008 --> 01:01:08,408 Enemy of the people! 1026 01:01:08,410 --> 01:01:10,911 I knew that! 1027 01:01:11,847 --> 01:01:13,813 Marquis de knable... 1028 01:01:13,815 --> 01:01:15,682 The guillotine awaits! 1029 01:01:15,684 --> 01:01:19,986 I would have given you chocolates. 1030 01:01:48,951 --> 01:01:51,351 Kill the marquis! Kill the marquis! 1031 01:01:51,353 --> 01:01:54,287 I'm telling you, I'm not a marquis! 1032 01:01:54,289 --> 01:01:57,624 I sell plumbing supplies in seattle... 1033 01:01:57,626 --> 01:01:59,259 Washington! 1034 01:02:10,672 --> 01:02:11,671 Roy! 1035 01:02:11,673 --> 01:02:12,806 Roy! Roy! 1036 01:02:12,808 --> 01:02:15,108 I love you. 1037 01:02:15,110 --> 01:02:17,577 You guys are making a big mistake. 1038 01:02:17,579 --> 01:02:20,180 I'm not even a member of this country! 1039 01:02:20,182 --> 01:02:23,416 Darryl, you'd better hurry up! 1040 01:02:25,587 --> 01:02:27,404 Kill the marquis! 1041 01:02:27,405 --> 01:02:29,222 Hi, fellas, I loved you in star wars. 1042 01:02:29,224 --> 01:02:32,158 Can we just talk for a second? 1043 01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:33,727 Oh, my god. Holy— 1044 01:02:33,729 --> 01:02:35,829 Oh! Could we— 1045 01:02:45,507 --> 01:02:47,657 Any last requests? 1046 01:02:47,658 --> 01:02:49,808 Yeah. How about the long version of stairway to heaven? 1047 01:02:49,811 --> 01:02:54,848 I'm afraid that is not where you are going. 1048 01:02:59,588 --> 01:03:00,620 Darryl! 1049 01:03:11,833 --> 01:03:13,767 Here, catch! 1050 01:03:16,204 --> 01:03:20,507 Wait! An innocent man's blood is being spilled! 1051 01:03:20,509 --> 01:03:21,408 Good point. 1052 01:03:21,410 --> 01:03:22,642 Better back away. 1053 01:03:22,644 --> 01:03:26,846 This one, he could be a gusher. 1054 01:03:31,386 --> 01:03:33,570 By order of the court... 1055 01:03:33,571 --> 01:03:35,755 Looks like spike's going to make his quota after all. 1056 01:03:35,757 --> 01:03:38,358 I deliver the marquis de knable's soul 1057 01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:40,393 To its rightful owner! 1058 01:03:40,395 --> 01:03:43,363 Finally, he's mine. 1059 01:03:59,147 --> 01:04:02,982 How come he dresses like a woman? 1060 01:04:02,984 --> 01:04:05,318 I do that sometimes. 1061 01:04:15,063 --> 01:04:17,397 Kill the marquis! 1062 01:04:27,376 --> 01:04:30,076 Dad, can you hear me? 1063 01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,214 Darryl? My god! 1064 01:04:34,716 --> 01:04:36,483 God? 1065 01:04:39,654 --> 01:04:41,488 Yes! 1066 01:04:41,490 --> 01:04:42,622 It's... 1067 01:04:42,624 --> 01:04:44,124 God! 1068 01:04:46,495 --> 01:04:48,728 Right, god? 1069 01:04:48,730 --> 01:04:52,232 Tell the infidels to release him. 1070 01:04:52,234 --> 01:04:53,333 What's an infidel? 1071 01:04:53,335 --> 01:04:54,501 I don't know. 1072 01:04:54,503 --> 01:04:56,269 Tell them to release him! 1073 01:04:56,271 --> 01:04:58,154 Tell them! 1074 01:04:58,155 --> 01:05:00,038 Um... Um... Release the marquis. 1075 01:05:00,041 --> 01:05:02,876 You heard him. Get me out of this. 1076 01:05:02,878 --> 01:05:03,977 What's happening? 1077 01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:07,547 Who's messing with my programming? 1078 01:05:09,818 --> 01:05:12,786 You—the weenie in black— 1079 01:05:12,788 --> 01:05:14,654 You, dork— 1080 01:05:14,656 --> 01:05:16,089 At the wheel— 1081 01:05:16,091 --> 01:05:17,991 Yeah, you! 1082 01:05:17,993 --> 01:05:20,093 Release him! 1083 01:05:20,996 --> 01:05:23,830 I am the voice of— 1084 01:05:28,336 --> 01:05:30,970 Ohhh... Oh, roy! 1085 01:05:31,606 --> 01:05:34,007 We beat spike! We did it! 1086 01:05:34,009 --> 01:05:39,846 I would have given an arm and a leg to see this! 1087 01:05:39,848 --> 01:05:41,815 In fact, I already did! 1088 01:05:41,817 --> 01:05:44,050 Ha ha ha! No, it's... 1089 01:05:44,052 --> 01:05:45,018 Not possible. 1090 01:05:54,729 --> 01:05:57,730 Sir. Speaking for the staff... 1091 01:05:57,732 --> 01:06:02,735 We'll all miss your kind words and inspiring leadership. 1092 01:06:05,207 --> 01:06:06,773 Ducker, contracts— 1093 01:06:06,775 --> 01:06:07,891 What? 1094 01:06:07,892 --> 01:06:09,008 There was a protest 1095 01:06:09,010 --> 01:06:11,261 Filed on the knable case. 1096 01:06:11,262 --> 01:06:13,513 A verbal contract binds only those parties personally making the agreement. 1097 01:06:13,515 --> 01:06:17,517 Therefore, the contract can only be for one person. 1098 01:06:17,519 --> 01:06:19,252 You took two. 1099 01:06:19,254 --> 01:06:20,787 Yes. 1100 01:06:23,425 --> 01:06:24,924 Yes. 1101 01:06:25,594 --> 01:06:28,428 Yes! Yes! Oh! 1102 01:06:28,430 --> 01:06:30,147 Mmm! 1103 01:06:30,148 --> 01:06:31,865 Oh, you're the ugliest bitch in perdition, 1104 01:06:31,867 --> 01:06:34,567 But you gave me a beautiful idea. 1105 01:06:34,569 --> 01:06:36,302 Discharge mr. Knable. 1106 01:06:36,304 --> 01:06:37,537 But, sir... 1107 01:06:37,539 --> 01:06:39,973 The contract was for him only. 1108 01:06:39,975 --> 01:06:42,375 Masterful stroke, sir. 1109 01:06:42,377 --> 01:06:44,577 I don't get it. 1110 01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:48,581 They should've zapped you two home by now. 1111 01:06:48,583 --> 01:06:50,483 You heard me... 1112 01:06:50,485 --> 01:06:53,520 Discharge mr. Knable. 1113 01:06:58,460 --> 01:06:59,792 Roy? 1114 01:06:59,794 --> 01:07:00,894 Roy! 1115 01:07:00,896 --> 01:07:03,029 Oh! Oh! 1116 01:07:17,379 --> 01:07:18,378 Dad! 1117 01:07:18,380 --> 01:07:20,079 Dad! 1118 01:07:21,816 --> 01:07:23,917 Where's your mother? 1119 01:07:23,918 --> 01:07:26,019 My obligation is limited to those I have a contract with. 1120 01:07:26,021 --> 01:07:28,988 I fulfilled my end by discharging mr. Knable. 1121 01:07:28,990 --> 01:07:31,040 His wife is still— 1122 01:07:31,041 --> 01:07:33,091 Those who trespass into the system are on their own. 1123 01:07:33,094 --> 01:07:35,261 We'll sort out the bodies later 1124 01:07:35,263 --> 01:07:37,063 After I kill them both. 1125 01:07:37,065 --> 01:07:39,899 How can we be sure he'll come back? 1126 01:07:39,901 --> 01:07:42,669 Because he loves her. He's a puss. 1127 01:07:42,671 --> 01:07:44,404 Oh, and I'll be back, 1128 01:07:44,406 --> 01:07:46,506 In case anyone's feeling ambitious. 1129 01:07:46,508 --> 01:07:50,143 Well, time to rock 'n' roll. 1130 01:07:53,181 --> 01:07:54,881 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1131 01:07:54,883 --> 01:07:57,217 Crowley. 1132 01:07:57,218 --> 01:07:59,552 Quite a radical weight-loss plan you've been on. 1133 01:07:59,554 --> 01:08:01,487 Yes. Ha ha ha. 1134 01:08:01,489 --> 01:08:03,489 Ha ha ha. 1135 01:08:03,992 --> 01:08:06,993 But, uh... Feeling a lot, uh, better. 1136 01:08:06,995 --> 01:08:09,362 Ha ha ha! 1137 01:08:09,364 --> 01:08:10,763 Aah! 1138 01:08:10,765 --> 01:08:12,865 Hello, mrs. Knable. 1139 01:08:12,867 --> 01:08:16,102 Mr. Spike, at your service. 1140 01:08:16,104 --> 01:08:18,471 Where's my husband? 1141 01:08:18,473 --> 01:08:20,640 I'll take you to him. 1142 01:08:20,642 --> 01:08:22,442 Rahrr. 1143 01:08:23,144 --> 01:08:25,612 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1144 01:08:29,951 --> 01:08:31,751 Howdy, ma'am. 1145 01:08:31,752 --> 01:08:33,552 Reckon the 3:10 to yuma will be along any minute. 1146 01:08:33,555 --> 01:08:37,790 Funny thing, though... It don't exactly stop here. 1147 01:08:37,792 --> 01:08:39,826 You're going to hit me with a train? 1148 01:08:39,828 --> 01:08:43,963 What can I say? I'm a sucker for a big ending. 1149 01:08:43,965 --> 01:08:45,698 You sadistic bastard. 1150 01:08:45,700 --> 01:08:46,766 Runs in the family. 1151 01:08:46,768 --> 01:08:49,268 My father was an oil company president. 1152 01:08:49,270 --> 01:08:53,106 Well... Have a good day, mrs. Knable. 1153 01:08:57,112 --> 01:08:58,144 This just in... 1154 01:08:58,146 --> 01:09:00,279 Helen knable has been kidnapped 1155 01:09:00,281 --> 01:09:04,317 And taken to channel 1. We take you there live. 1156 01:09:04,319 --> 01:09:07,620 Roy, wherever you are, get your butt back here! 1157 01:09:07,622 --> 01:09:11,157 Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband 1158 01:09:11,159 --> 01:09:14,027 Won't lift a finger to save her. 1159 01:09:14,029 --> 01:09:15,161 Right, roy? 1160 01:09:15,163 --> 01:09:16,663 No. 1161 01:09:22,937 --> 01:09:28,508 Dynamite. He's going to hit me with a train and blow me up? 1162 01:09:28,510 --> 01:09:30,176 Roy! 1163 01:09:30,178 --> 01:09:32,378 I want you both to stay inside. 1164 01:09:32,380 --> 01:09:34,380 Make sure those doughnuts are ready. 1165 01:09:34,382 --> 01:09:37,517 I'll be very hungry when I get back. 1166 01:09:37,519 --> 01:09:39,052 O.K.? 1167 01:09:39,387 --> 01:09:41,754 Careful, dad. 1168 01:10:15,190 --> 01:10:16,923 Help! 1169 01:10:19,194 --> 01:10:20,927 Helen? 1170 01:10:20,929 --> 01:10:22,595 Roy! 1171 01:10:31,372 --> 01:10:34,040 Back to play the hero, huh? 1172 01:10:34,042 --> 01:10:36,442 Ha ha ha ha ha! 1173 01:10:36,444 --> 01:10:40,012 Not exactly typecasting. 1174 01:10:40,315 --> 01:10:42,281 Be about 6... 6'1". 1175 01:10:42,283 --> 01:10:43,816 Yeah. 1176 01:10:47,555 --> 01:10:50,923 Make your move, tinhorn. 1177 01:10:57,132 --> 01:10:59,799 Today, roy! 1178 01:11:02,771 --> 01:11:04,470 No! 1179 01:11:04,472 --> 01:11:06,572 Dad! Dad! 1180 01:11:26,461 --> 01:11:29,262 You missed me, partner. 1181 01:11:45,647 --> 01:11:47,847 Captain, the ship has found itself 1182 01:11:47,849 --> 01:11:49,282 In an orbit around hell. 1183 01:11:49,284 --> 01:11:51,350 The underworld is hailing us. 1184 01:11:51,352 --> 01:11:53,352 I know you. 1185 01:11:53,354 --> 01:11:54,821 Greetings, captain roy. 1186 01:11:54,823 --> 01:11:57,056 Our remotes are synchronized, 1187 01:11:57,058 --> 01:11:59,525 So wherever you go, I go. 1188 01:11:59,527 --> 01:12:01,127 Enjoy the attack. 1189 01:12:03,064 --> 01:12:04,130 Lieutenant? 1190 01:12:04,132 --> 01:12:05,131 Captain? 1191 01:12:05,133 --> 01:12:09,168 G-g... Get us out of here! 1192 01:12:09,170 --> 01:12:11,003 No! 1193 01:12:14,542 --> 01:12:16,709 Phasers on, uh... 1194 01:12:18,313 --> 01:12:19,912 Torture. 1195 01:12:25,019 --> 01:12:27,486 Holy shatner! 1196 01:12:28,122 --> 01:12:30,156 And just to show you how effective 1197 01:12:30,158 --> 01:12:31,958 Our passenger restraint system really is, 1198 01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:34,594 Watch this demonstration at 110 miles an hour, 1199 01:12:34,596 --> 01:12:37,330 Where our driver dummy has the benefit 1200 01:12:37,332 --> 01:12:39,131 Of seat belt and air bag, 1201 01:12:39,133 --> 01:12:41,601 The other dummy having neither one. 1202 01:12:41,603 --> 01:12:43,703 Neither one? 1203 01:12:44,505 --> 01:12:47,006 I can't watch. Switch to mom. 1204 01:12:47,008 --> 01:12:48,474 Switch to mom! 1205 01:12:57,352 --> 01:12:59,518 Dad'll save her. 1206 01:13:04,425 --> 01:13:06,859 Aah! 1207 01:13:17,138 --> 01:13:18,971 Ooh. Rrr! 1208 01:13:22,443 --> 01:13:24,777 No! No, wait! 1209 01:13:26,047 --> 01:13:31,150 Aaaaaahhhhh! 1210 01:13:37,492 --> 01:13:41,160 Hey, lady, watch out! 1211 01:13:53,341 --> 01:13:54,840 Ooh. 1212 01:13:59,347 --> 01:14:00,379 Whoop. 1213 01:14:00,381 --> 01:14:02,915 Aah! 1214 01:14:12,060 --> 01:14:13,993 Yaaahhhh! 1215 01:14:14,796 --> 01:14:15,728 Whoa! 1216 01:14:15,730 --> 01:14:17,363 Unh! Ahh! 1217 01:14:17,365 --> 01:14:19,098 ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ 1218 01:14:19,100 --> 01:14:21,434 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 1219 01:14:21,436 --> 01:14:22,301 Where have you been? 1220 01:14:22,303 --> 01:14:24,403 ♪ We've been waitin' for you... ♪ 1221 01:14:24,405 --> 01:14:28,207 Aaaaaahhhh! 1222 01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:39,819 My, my. 1223 01:14:39,821 --> 01:14:44,056 Now you'll never get back to kansas. 1224 01:14:46,194 --> 01:14:47,860 En garde. 1225 01:14:50,465 --> 01:14:51,731 Oh, no sword. 1226 01:14:51,733 --> 01:14:55,401 Have to talk to that prop man. 1227 01:15:05,713 --> 01:15:07,613 Right about now, your wife is probably 1228 01:15:07,615 --> 01:15:11,117 Catching that train... Right between the eyes. 1229 01:15:11,119 --> 01:15:13,953 And you let it happen. 1230 01:15:17,959 --> 01:15:20,092 Here it comes, dad! 1231 01:15:23,031 --> 01:15:24,997 I've taken loads of souls... 1232 01:15:24,999 --> 01:15:26,699 And none more pathetic 1233 01:15:26,701 --> 01:15:29,802 Than yours, roy. 1234 01:15:33,041 --> 01:15:36,108 Say good night, gracie. 1235 01:15:37,245 --> 01:15:39,295 Not yet. 1236 01:15:39,296 --> 01:15:41,346 You see, I was captain of my junior college fencing team. 1237 01:15:41,349 --> 01:15:43,849 All right. Co-captain. 1238 01:15:52,126 --> 01:15:54,960 I gave you escape from your pitiful life. 1239 01:15:54,962 --> 01:15:57,229 I want it back. 1240 01:15:57,799 --> 01:15:59,432 All sales are final. 1241 01:15:59,434 --> 01:16:01,267 Not this one. 1242 01:16:09,844 --> 01:16:11,510 ♪ You got to start me ♪ 1243 01:16:11,512 --> 01:16:13,212 ♪ up ♪ 1244 01:16:14,348 --> 01:16:17,183 ♪ start me up ♪ 1245 01:16:19,420 --> 01:16:21,654 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1246 01:16:21,656 --> 01:16:22,488 ♪ come down ♪ 1247 01:16:22,490 --> 01:16:24,590 ♪ the "s" to the a-l-t ♪ 1248 01:16:24,592 --> 01:16:25,324 ♪ come down ♪ 1249 01:16:25,326 --> 01:16:26,592 ♪ the love to the b-u-g ♪ 1250 01:16:26,594 --> 01:16:27,627 ♪ come down ♪ 1251 01:16:27,628 --> 01:16:28,661 ♪ the spin to the d-a-rella ♪ 1252 01:16:28,663 --> 01:16:30,012 ♪ come down ♪ 1253 01:16:30,013 --> 01:16:31,362 ♪ s-t-double e-v-e in the "p" ♪ 1254 01:16:31,365 --> 01:16:32,298 ♪ come down ♪ 1255 01:16:32,300 --> 01:16:33,399 The "p" to the e-p-a ♪ 1256 01:16:33,401 --> 01:16:35,001 ♪ come down ♪ 1257 01:16:35,002 --> 01:16:36,602 ♪ the idolmaker's in the house, how ya know? ♪ 1258 01:16:36,604 --> 01:16:37,503 ♪ Come down ♪ 1259 01:16:37,505 --> 01:16:38,704 ♪ to the record lord ♪ 1260 01:16:38,706 --> 01:16:40,022 ♪ come down ♪ 1261 01:16:40,023 --> 01:16:41,339 ♪ wait a minute, wait a minute, y'all ♪ 1262 01:16:41,342 --> 01:16:43,442 ♪ let's get serious for a minute ♪ 1263 01:16:43,444 --> 01:16:44,410 ♪ y'all havin' fun? ♪ 1264 01:16:44,411 --> 01:16:45,377 ♪ I'm havin' fun, everybody havin' fun ♪ 1265 01:16:45,379 --> 01:16:47,646 ♪ but you know those times ♪ 1266 01:16:47,648 --> 01:16:48,981 ♪ when you get stressed out ♪ 1267 01:16:48,983 --> 01:16:50,883 ♪ and you wanna give up? ♪ 1268 01:16:50,885 --> 01:16:53,419 ♪ Everybody has a time in their life ♪ 1269 01:16:53,421 --> 01:16:55,721 ♪ when things doesn't always go right ♪ 1270 01:16:55,723 --> 01:16:58,691 ♪ it just gets harder every day ♪ 1271 01:16:58,693 --> 01:17:00,326 ♪ and it makes you wanna run away ♪ 1272 01:17:00,328 --> 01:17:03,796 ♪ then I wonder when it will end ♪ 1273 01:17:03,798 --> 01:17:05,831 ♪ can I ever be myself again? ♪ 1274 01:17:05,833 --> 01:17:07,933 ♪ Yo, I got hopes, and I got trust ♪ 1275 01:17:07,935 --> 01:17:10,369 ♪ and I got you here to start me up ♪ 1276 01:17:10,371 --> 01:17:11,537 ♪ I'm fed up, fed up ♪ 1277 01:17:11,539 --> 01:17:12,771 ♪ word up, dead up ♪ 1278 01:17:12,773 --> 01:17:14,039 ♪ gotta keep my head up ♪ 1279 01:17:14,041 --> 01:17:15,307 ♪ don't stop or let up ♪ 1280 01:17:15,309 --> 01:17:16,308 ♪ you're sleepin', laid up ♪ 1281 01:17:16,310 --> 01:17:18,344 ♪ time to get your bed made up ♪ 1282 01:17:18,346 --> 01:17:19,178 ♪ always gonna lose it ♪ 1283 01:17:19,180 --> 01:17:20,346 ♪ till your dues get paid up ♪ 1284 01:17:20,348 --> 01:17:21,180 ♪ straight up, wait up ♪ 1285 01:17:21,182 --> 01:17:22,414 ♪ I'm not gamin' or bluffin' ♪ 1286 01:17:22,416 --> 01:17:25,251 ♪ watch television all day doin' nothing ♪ 1287 01:17:25,253 --> 01:17:26,669 ♪ poisoning your liver ♪ 1288 01:17:26,670 --> 01:17:28,086 ♪ looks like you're ready to deliver ♪ 1289 01:17:28,089 --> 01:17:29,922 ♪ yo, salt, I think he gets the scissors ♪ 1290 01:17:29,924 --> 01:17:32,424 ♪ start me up ♪ 1291 01:17:32,426 --> 01:17:34,760 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1292 01:17:34,762 --> 01:17:36,762 ♪ start me up ♪ 1293 01:17:37,064 --> 01:17:39,832 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1294 01:17:39,834 --> 01:17:41,767 ♪ start me up ♪ 1295 01:17:41,769 --> 01:17:44,370 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1296 01:17:44,372 --> 01:17:47,306 ♪ start me up— ♪ 1297 01:17:53,881 --> 01:17:56,415 ♪ start me up ♪ 1298 01:17:56,417 --> 01:17:58,751 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1299 01:17:58,753 --> 01:18:00,719 ♪ start me up ♪ 1300 01:18:00,721 --> 01:18:02,721 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1301 01:18:02,723 --> 01:18:04,890 ♪ on the dial, the people gonna fall off ♪ 1302 01:18:04,892 --> 01:18:07,826 ♪ the eeby deeby jam coming at me, big mama ♪ 1303 01:18:07,828 --> 01:18:08,827 ♪ stoppin' at the period ♪ 1304 01:18:08,829 --> 01:18:10,496 ♪ and pause upon the comma ♪ 1305 01:18:10,498 --> 01:18:12,831 ♪ the bis boom bit did a drama for your fodda ♪ 1306 01:18:12,833 --> 01:18:13,899 ♪ tell me, rough ♪ 1307 01:18:13,901 --> 01:18:16,335 ♪ coach man workin' I'm stuck ♪ 1308 01:18:16,337 --> 01:18:18,704 ♪ de-man-a man-a lek-o lek-o ♪ 1309 01:18:18,706 --> 01:18:21,106 ♪ fix the collar on a world, rah ♪ 1310 01:18:21,108 --> 01:18:23,275 ♪ the microchips never fail me ♪ 1311 01:18:23,277 --> 01:18:25,311 ♪ start me up ♪ 1312 01:18:25,313 --> 01:18:27,680 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1313 01:18:27,682 --> 01:18:29,715 ♪ start me up ♪ 1314 01:18:29,717 --> 01:18:31,850 ♪ you got to start me ♪ 1315 01:18:31,852 --> 01:18:32,585 ♪ up ♪ 1316 01:18:32,587 --> 01:18:33,886 ♪ well, uh, well, uh ♪ 1317 01:18:33,888 --> 01:18:34,987 ♪ we-heh-heh-hell uh ♪ 1318 01:18:34,989 --> 01:18:36,555 ♪ you're caught in the rain ♪ 1319 01:18:36,557 --> 01:18:37,790 ♪ but you forgot your umbrella ♪ 1320 01:18:37,792 --> 01:18:39,147 ♪ what could you do ♪ 1321 01:18:39,148 --> 01:18:40,503 ♪ punch-a-nella, punch-a-nella? ♪ 1322 01:18:40,504 --> 01:18:41,859 ♪ You're trapped in a cage like an ape called magilla ♪ 1323 01:18:41,862 --> 01:18:44,363 ♪ and now you're ready to throw in the towel ♪ 1324 01:18:44,365 --> 01:18:45,331 ♪ that's kinda foul ♪ 1325 01:18:45,333 --> 01:18:46,432 ♪ you don't give a hoot ♪ 1326 01:18:46,434 --> 01:18:47,399 ♪ like a mute owl ♪ 1327 01:18:47,401 --> 01:18:48,567 ♪ that's not the way I know you to be ♪ 1328 01:18:48,569 --> 01:18:50,069 ♪ you used to be true to me ♪ 1329 01:18:50,071 --> 01:18:52,371 ♪ oo-ee, what you used to do to me ♪ 1330 01:18:52,373 --> 01:18:54,006 ♪ start me up ♪ 1331 01:18:54,008 --> 01:18:56,942 ♪ you got to start me up ♪ 1332 01:18:56,944 --> 01:18:59,912 ♪ start me up... ♪ 1333 01:18:59,914 --> 01:19:01,046 Wait. 1334 01:19:01,048 --> 01:19:03,015 O.K. You got the remote. You win. 1335 01:19:03,017 --> 01:19:04,984 But how about— just pitching here— 1336 01:19:04,986 --> 01:19:06,719 You and me working together? 1337 01:19:06,721 --> 01:19:09,188 We could come up with dynamite programming. 1338 01:19:09,190 --> 01:19:10,322 Chairman'd love it. 1339 01:19:10,324 --> 01:19:12,024 Knock him off his hooves. 1340 01:19:12,026 --> 01:19:12,958 We'd be number one. 1341 01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:15,227 Of course, we are the only one, but— 1342 01:19:15,229 --> 01:19:17,529 You don't get it, do you? 1343 01:19:17,531 --> 01:19:20,332 Without me, you don't get out of here. 1344 01:19:20,334 --> 01:19:24,036 Sorry, spike. You're cancelled. 1345 01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:30,442 ♪ You got to start me up ♪ 1346 01:19:30,444 --> 01:19:32,711 ♪ start me up ♪ 1347 01:19:32,713 --> 01:19:34,280 ♪ you got to start me ♪ 1348 01:19:34,282 --> 01:19:35,981 ♪ up ♪ 1349 01:19:38,653 --> 01:19:40,185 Roy! 1350 01:19:40,988 --> 01:19:43,289 Deactivate escape frequencies. 1351 01:19:43,291 --> 01:19:44,757 What are you doing? 1352 01:19:44,759 --> 01:19:47,159 I've trapped them. 1353 01:19:58,773 --> 01:19:59,605 It's not working! 1354 01:19:59,607 --> 01:20:03,142 Turn it off. Turn it off. 1355 01:20:04,812 --> 01:20:08,047 Turn it off. Turn it off. 1356 01:20:08,049 --> 01:20:11,150 What do you do when you want the tv to go away? 1357 01:20:11,152 --> 01:20:12,284 You turn it 1358 01:20:12,286 --> 01:20:13,819 Off! 1359 01:20:28,736 --> 01:20:30,536 We've lost them. 1360 01:20:30,538 --> 01:20:31,603 Helen... 1361 01:20:31,605 --> 01:20:33,472 We're home! 1362 01:20:33,474 --> 01:20:35,007 Kids! 1363 01:20:36,043 --> 01:20:37,309 Oh! Dad! 1364 01:20:37,311 --> 01:20:39,878 Oh! Oh! 1365 01:20:44,952 --> 01:20:48,320 Whoever left the gate open is grounded for a week. 1366 01:20:55,763 --> 01:20:57,062 Check that. 1367 01:20:57,064 --> 01:21:01,767 Whoever left the gate open gets double their allowance. 1368 01:21:03,871 --> 01:21:06,105 Look at that. 1369 01:21:27,027 --> 01:21:28,761 Wetzel! 1370 01:21:28,763 --> 01:21:31,463 Don't get me angry, you worm! 1371 01:21:31,465 --> 01:21:33,298 Get me out of here! 1372 01:21:33,300 --> 01:21:34,900 Put a lid on it, fido. 1373 01:21:34,902 --> 01:21:36,969 O.K., pierce, what do you want? 1374 01:21:36,971 --> 01:21:38,704 Corner office? Name on the door? 1375 01:21:38,706 --> 01:21:40,806 Hello, spike. Heh heh. 1376 01:21:40,808 --> 01:21:42,408 Crowley. 1377 01:21:44,612 --> 01:21:47,279 You know, you're a gentleman and a scholar... 1378 01:21:47,281 --> 01:21:48,247 A fine corporate asset... 1379 01:21:48,249 --> 01:21:51,116 A man who I, personally, like very much. 1380 01:21:51,118 --> 01:21:55,654 Oh, incidentally, spike, nice of you to drop in. 1381 01:21:55,656 --> 01:21:57,923 Ha ha ha ha... 1382 01:21:57,925 --> 01:22:01,126 Ah... That's funny. 1383 01:22:01,829 --> 01:22:03,295 Ah! 1384 01:22:03,297 --> 01:22:04,696 Aah! 1385 01:22:08,335 --> 01:22:11,203 I get his parking space. 1386 01:22:11,639 --> 01:22:14,106 So what can I tell you? 1387 01:22:14,108 --> 01:22:15,374 My parents got back together. 1388 01:22:15,376 --> 01:22:18,944 The only tv my dad watches is 60 minutes, 1389 01:22:18,946 --> 01:22:20,412 And he started a new job. 1390 01:22:20,414 --> 01:22:24,082 I guess you could call us a pretty normal family. 1391 01:22:24,084 --> 01:22:28,153 That's if anything is ever normal. 1392 01:22:28,155 --> 01:22:30,522 Who on earth taught you that? 1393 01:22:30,524 --> 01:22:32,591 Uh, I saw it on tv somewhere. 1394 01:22:32,593 --> 01:22:34,326 Some old movie. 1395 01:22:34,327 --> 01:22:36,060 Take my advice, kiddo. Don't watch too much tv. 1396 01:22:36,063 --> 01:22:38,297 It can get you into trouble. 1397 01:22:38,299 --> 01:22:40,599 O.K., fencers. Class dismissed. 1398 01:23:01,188 --> 01:23:04,423 ♪ Me and that dude is talkin' ♪ 1399 01:23:06,060 --> 01:23:07,926 ♪ baby, I just love your body ♪ 1400 01:23:07,928 --> 01:23:10,629 ♪ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ♪ 1401 01:23:10,631 --> 01:23:12,764 ♪ baby, we don't need no party ♪ 1402 01:23:12,766 --> 01:23:14,900 ♪ you can taste it if you don't like to talk ♪ 1403 01:23:14,902 --> 01:23:17,202 ♪ I used to have a woman who was so shy ♪ 1404 01:23:17,204 --> 01:23:19,471 ♪ never spoke about what she desired ♪ 1405 01:23:19,473 --> 01:23:21,640 ♪ now the door is open, it's open wide ♪ 1406 01:23:21,642 --> 01:23:24,243 ♪ take a little peek and find what's inside ♪ 1407 01:23:24,245 --> 01:23:26,178 ♪ baby, I just love your body ♪ 1408 01:23:26,180 --> 01:23:28,647 ♪ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ♪ 1409 01:23:28,649 --> 01:23:31,016 ♪ hey there, we don't need no party ♪ 1410 01:23:31,018 --> 01:23:34,720 ♪ you can taste it, if you want ♪ 1411 01:23:51,372 --> 01:23:53,572 ♪ baby, I just love your body ♪ 1412 01:23:53,574 --> 01:23:56,208 ♪ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ♪ 1413 01:23:56,210 --> 01:23:58,176 ♪ baby, we don't need no party ♪ 1414 01:23:58,178 --> 01:24:00,479 ♪ you can taste it if you don't like to talk ♪ 1415 01:24:00,481 --> 01:24:02,848 ♪ used to have a woman who was so shy ♪ 1416 01:24:02,850 --> 01:24:05,117 ♪ never spoke about what she desired ♪ 1417 01:24:05,119 --> 01:24:07,352 ♪ now the door is open, it's open wide ♪ 1418 01:24:07,354 --> 01:24:09,755 ♪ take a little peek and find what's inside ♪ 1419 01:24:09,757 --> 01:24:11,790 ♪ baby, I just love your body ♪ 1420 01:24:11,792 --> 01:24:14,459 ♪ can't believe the feeling when you walk your walk ♪ 1421 01:24:14,461 --> 01:24:16,662 ♪ baby, we don't need no party ♪ 1422 01:24:16,664 --> 01:24:19,932 ♪ you can taste that, if you want ♪ 1423 01:24:32,413 --> 01:24:35,047 Captioning made possible by warner bros. Inc. 1424 01:24:35,049 --> 01:24:38,283 Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc. 1425 01:24:38,285 --> 01:24:40,586 Captions copyright 1992 morgan creek productions, inc. 1426 01:24:40,588 --> 01:24:45,757 Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute 1427 01:24:47,795 --> 01:24:50,028 ♪ do you want it? ♪ 1428 01:24:59,039 --> 01:25:01,540 ♪ Do you want it? ♪ 1429 01:25:13,587 --> 01:25:15,721 ♪ Do you want it? ♪ 1430 01:25:22,229 --> 01:25:24,630 ♪ Do you want it? ♪ 1431 01:26:03,737 --> 01:26:06,171 ♪ Do you want it? ♪ 1432 01:26:07,007 --> 01:26:10,575 ♪ Do you—do you want it? ♪ 1433 01:26:12,813 --> 01:26:15,247 ♪ Do you want it? ♪ 1434 01:26:16,850 --> 01:26:18,650 ♪ Moon's out tonight ♪ 1435 01:26:18,652 --> 01:26:22,721 ♪ the doctor's takin' a walk ♪ 1436 01:26:23,223 --> 01:26:26,091 ♪ awoo ♪ 1437 01:26:27,394 --> 01:26:29,661 ♪ the mic stalker ♪ 1438 01:26:35,969 --> 01:26:37,803 ♪ some dame did me wrong, and I admit it ♪ 1439 01:26:37,805 --> 01:26:39,404 ♪ my temper was a fuse, and you just lit it ♪ 1440 01:26:39,406 --> 01:26:41,606 ♪ and made me right that on a saturday night ♪ 1441 01:26:41,608 --> 01:26:43,208 ♪ that I bit it, the price is death ♪ 1442 01:26:43,210 --> 01:26:44,476 ♪ this is a row, the fight for right ♪ 1443 01:26:44,478 --> 01:26:46,445 ♪ don't get hyped this is my knife strike ♪ 1444 01:26:46,447 --> 01:26:47,646 ♪ no nob, no gun ♪ 1445 01:26:47,647 --> 01:26:48,846 ♪ took my vocals through the mic ♪ 1446 01:26:48,847 --> 01:26:50,046 ♪ it's cold so I pack it in my jacket at night ♪ 1447 01:26:50,050 --> 01:26:52,217 ♪ hey, I live by my mic and die by my mic ♪ 1448 01:26:52,219 --> 01:26:53,902 ♪ no, I live to exist ♪ 1449 01:26:53,903 --> 01:26:55,586 ♪ and I never bid on the great ride to hitch ♪ 1450 01:26:55,589 --> 01:26:56,788 ♪ and while you're dying ♪ 1451 01:26:56,790 --> 01:26:58,356 ♪ your son is cryin', beggin' and yellin' ♪ 1452 01:26:58,358 --> 01:26:59,424 ♪ will I give you pity? Hah! ♪ 1453 01:26:59,426 --> 01:27:00,726 ♪ Never would I with all the trouble I'm in ♪ 1454 01:27:00,728 --> 01:27:02,828 ♪ until the devil eat heart out cause I'm hotter than him ♪ 1455 01:27:02,830 --> 01:27:05,097 ♪ the other day kid was rockin' on the corner alone ♪ 1456 01:27:05,099 --> 01:27:06,698 ♪ and I was stroking my microphone ♪ 1457 01:27:06,700 --> 01:27:08,734 ♪ I heard him reciting somebody's record that was sold ♪ 1458 01:27:08,736 --> 01:27:10,936 ♪ though he was five years old I had to adjust some more ♪ 1459 01:27:10,938 --> 01:27:13,004 ♪ teach him a lesson no matter what the age ♪ 1460 01:27:13,006 --> 01:27:15,107 ♪ I'm on a rampage on and off the stage ♪ 1461 01:27:15,109 --> 01:27:16,308 ♪ you wanna copy of my record? ♪ 1462 01:27:16,310 --> 01:27:17,743 ♪ This is what you do ♪ 1463 01:27:17,744 --> 01:27:19,177 ♪ go to the precinct, and they'll give you a few ♪ 1464 01:27:19,179 --> 01:27:22,414 ♪ the mic stalker, stalker, stalker ♪ 1465 01:27:27,020 --> 01:27:29,287 ♪ I got a natural gift, I don't sniff ♪ 1466 01:27:29,289 --> 01:27:31,089 ♪ for a little lift, boy, my mother woulda whipped ♪ 1467 01:27:31,091 --> 01:27:33,925 ♪ I got accused when my mother gave me, never gave me dope ♪ 1468 01:27:33,927 --> 01:27:35,660 ♪ to coke, she say, just say no ♪ 1469 01:27:35,662 --> 01:27:37,562 ♪ it's criminal or premature ♪ 1470 01:27:37,564 --> 01:27:39,464 ♪ it's premeditated literature ♪ 1471 01:27:39,466 --> 01:27:43,301 ♪ the mic stalker, stalker, stalker ♪ 99775