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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:08,058
You're my best friend, Barney.
2
00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:09,026
Good. Then, as your best friend,
3
00:00:09,028 --> 00:00:10,961
I suggest we play a game
I like to call
4
00:00:10,963 --> 00:00:12,362
Have You Met Ted?
5
00:00:12,364 --> 00:00:13,664
What? Oh, my God.
6
00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:15,232
I'm so stupid.
7
00:00:15,234 --> 00:00:16,300
Stay there. I'm on my way.
8
00:00:16,302 --> 00:00:17,785
♪ Say, man
9
00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:19,870
♪ Don't walk ahead
of that woman ♪
10
00:00:19,872 --> 00:00:22,072
♪ Like she don't belong to you ♪
11
00:00:22,074 --> 00:00:24,958
♪ Just 'cause her
got them little skinny legs ♪
12
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,544
♪ You know that ain't
no way to do ♪
13
00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:30,280
♪ You didn't act like that
when you had it home ♪
14
00:00:30,282 --> 00:00:32,749
♪ Behind closed doors
15
00:00:32,751 --> 00:00:34,885
♪ All right
16
00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:38,222
♪ Now you act like
you're ashamed at a woman ♪
17
00:00:38,224 --> 00:00:41,291
♪ Don't even want
nobody to know she's yours ♪
18
00:00:41,293 --> 00:00:42,559
♪ But that's all right ♪
19
00:00:42,561 --> 00:00:49,216
♪ You just walk on, baby
20
00:00:49,218 --> 00:00:50,884
Excuse me. Pardon me.
21
00:00:50,886 --> 00:00:53,654
♪ Because there's some man
somewhere who'll take you ♪
22
00:00:53,656 --> 00:00:55,856
♪ Baby, skinny legs and all
23
00:00:55,858 --> 00:00:57,641
I am so, so sorry.
24
00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:59,643
I went to the one
on the West Side.
25
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,629
I was beginning to think
that you'd forgotten about me.
26
00:01:01,654 --> 00:01:02,232
(laughs)
27
00:01:02,257 --> 00:01:06,257
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x16 ♪
How Your Mother Met Me
Original Air Date on January 27, 2014
28
00:01:06,282 --> 00:01:11,282
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
29
00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:18,212
NARRATOR: Kids, the night your Aunt Lilyand Uncle Marshall got engaged,
30
00:01:18,214 --> 00:01:20,797
the night I met Aunt Robin,was the night of your mom's
31
00:01:20,799 --> 00:01:23,100
21st birthday.
Happy birthday.
32
00:01:23,102 --> 00:01:25,502
W-Where's Max?
He couldn't get a cab.
33
00:01:25,504 --> 00:01:27,688
Which is code for
"waited until the last minute
34
00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:29,172
to get me a birthday gift."
35
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:30,140
Although...
36
00:01:30,142 --> 00:01:31,358
he always nails it.
37
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,443
Two years ago,
he got me an exact replica
38
00:01:33,445 --> 00:01:35,028
of the Pee-wee'sBig Adventure bike.
39
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:37,865
And last year, he got me
a one-man band suit
40
00:01:37,867 --> 00:01:39,816
including knee cymbals.
41
00:01:39,818 --> 00:01:41,568
And these are things you want?
42
00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:43,370
No, these are things I need.
43
00:01:43,372 --> 00:01:44,538
(phone rings)
Oh, that's Max.
44
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:45,873
Uh... I got to take this.
45
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:48,041
Okay.
46
00:01:49,794 --> 00:01:51,962
Okay, you're officially
super late now...
47
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,752
Yes, this is she.
48
00:01:58,754 --> 00:02:01,038
♪
49
00:02:23,361 --> 00:02:25,612
♪
50
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,376
WOMAN:
Okay, this is ridiculous.
51
00:02:39,378 --> 00:02:41,828
You've been sitting
around for two years.
52
00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:43,263
It's time to get
back out there.
53
00:02:43,265 --> 00:02:45,966
I have not been sitting around.
I have been hard at work.
54
00:02:45,968 --> 00:02:47,784
I think I'm about to enter my
55
00:02:47,786 --> 00:02:50,971
"Robots Doing Track
and Field Events" period.
56
00:02:50,973 --> 00:02:52,055
It's a very exciting time.
57
00:02:52,057 --> 00:02:53,056
(door closes)
58
00:02:53,058 --> 00:02:55,075
Sweetie.
59
00:02:55,077 --> 00:02:56,360
I love you.
60
00:02:56,362 --> 00:02:58,145
And I can't imagine
what it was like
61
00:02:58,147 --> 00:02:59,696
going through what
you went through.
62
00:02:59,698 --> 00:03:01,715
But these are your 20s.
63
00:03:01,717 --> 00:03:03,433
It's St. Patrick's Day.
64
00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:04,768
The holiday of my people.
65
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,937
You're not Irish.
Binge drinkers.
66
00:03:06,939 --> 00:03:08,021
Now, let's go.
67
00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:09,773
No, please don't
make me go out there.
68
00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:10,791
It's gonna rain.
69
00:03:10,793 --> 00:03:12,826
Bring your umbrella.
70
00:03:13,711 --> 00:03:14,878
(sighs)
71
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,663
(dance music plays)
72
00:03:16,665 --> 00:03:20,000
How is the bathroom line
this long and yet the floor
73
00:03:20,002 --> 00:03:21,785
is covered with urine?
If there's urine out here,
74
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:23,754
what in God's name
is going on in there?
75
00:03:23,756 --> 00:03:25,889
Screw this, we're holding it.
Let's go dance.
76
00:03:25,891 --> 00:03:26,890
No, thanks.
77
00:03:26,892 --> 00:03:29,092
This is what
I'm talking about.
78
00:03:29,094 --> 00:03:31,461
The love of your life
could be on that dance floor,
79
00:03:31,463 --> 00:03:33,680
waiting for you
to bump into him.
80
00:03:33,682 --> 00:03:36,149
If you're not there, he's just
gonna bump into someone else.
81
00:03:36,151 --> 00:03:38,435
Somehow I doubt it.
82
00:03:38,437 --> 00:03:40,020
Oh, I'm sorry.
83
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:41,421
No, that's okay.
84
00:03:41,423 --> 00:03:42,806
I'm going in.
85
00:03:42,808 --> 00:03:44,608
Wait, is that...
86
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:45,809
Mitch.
87
00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:48,328
No way.
Hi.
88
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:50,080
What are you doing
in New York?
89
00:03:50,082 --> 00:03:51,147
I live here.
What?
90
00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,499
Uh, this is my
friend, Kelly.
91
00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:53,667
Hey.
Hi.
92
00:03:53,669 --> 00:03:55,585
Mitch was my instructor
at orchestra camp.
93
00:03:55,587 --> 00:03:56,670
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
KELLY: Orchestra camp.
94
00:03:56,672 --> 00:03:57,788
It's not as lame
as it sounds.
95
00:03:57,790 --> 00:03:59,589
We also did physics, so...
Right.
96
00:03:59,591 --> 00:04:02,209
So, Mitch, what are you
up to these days?
97
00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:03,343
I'm still teaching orchestra.
98
00:04:03,345 --> 00:04:05,212
I'm at this public school
up in the Bronx.
99
00:04:05,214 --> 00:04:06,430
It's totally underfunded,
100
00:04:06,432 --> 00:04:07,831
a lot of the kids
can't afford instruments,
101
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,599
but I really...
Take my cello.
102
00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:10,767
What?
Yeah.
103
00:04:10,769 --> 00:04:12,052
Oh, yeah, you
gotta take it.
104
00:04:12,054 --> 00:04:13,136
I haven't played
it in years.
105
00:04:13,138 --> 00:04:14,170
It's just sitting
in my closet.
106
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:15,171
Give it to
one of the kids!
107
00:04:15,173 --> 00:04:16,306
Wow, are you sure?
108
00:04:16,308 --> 00:04:17,474
Do you want to come
and get it right now?
109
00:04:17,476 --> 00:04:19,059
Um... okay.
110
00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:21,895
Okay, great. Let's go.
(laughing)
111
00:04:21,897 --> 00:04:25,315
Okay, yes, you're doing
something nice.
112
00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:26,850
But you're still
bailing on me.
113
00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,986
So I guess, karmically...
it evens out?
114
00:04:29,988 --> 00:04:31,738
I'm just worried
about you.
115
00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:32,989
Don't be.
116
00:04:32,991 --> 00:04:33,990
Have fun.
117
00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:35,375
And who knows?
118
00:04:35,377 --> 00:04:37,694
Maybe you'll bump
into someone tonight.
119
00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:39,496
Oh...
120
00:04:39,498 --> 00:04:41,748
(exhales)
121
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:45,469
Girl, I will
sham-rock your world.
122
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:49,222
(laughing):
Okay...
123
00:04:49,224 --> 00:04:51,675
I'll...
124
00:04:51,677 --> 00:04:52,759
We'll...
125
00:04:52,761 --> 00:04:54,895
Okay.
126
00:04:54,897 --> 00:04:57,013
THE MOTHER:
Okay, here it is.
127
00:04:57,015 --> 00:04:58,899
I haven't played this
128
00:04:58,901 --> 00:05:01,334
since the popular girls
locked me inside the case.
129
00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:04,271
Although it was roomier
than when I played the violin...
130
00:05:04,273 --> 00:05:05,822
(gasps)
What are you doing?!
131
00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:07,190
I don't know.
132
00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:08,224
What am I doing?
133
00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:09,443
I don't know!
What are you doing?!
134
00:05:09,445 --> 00:05:10,444
This is my thing...
135
00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:11,895
It most certainly
is your thing.
136
00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:12,863
Now, please cover your thing up.
137
00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:14,197
Sorry.
138
00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:15,165
I-I meant...
139
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:16,900
this move.
140
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:18,018
It's my thing.
141
00:05:18,669 --> 00:05:19,920
I call it "The Naked Man."
142
00:05:19,922 --> 00:05:20,954
A few weeks ago,
143
00:05:20,956 --> 00:05:22,873
I was on a date,
and it worked.
144
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,958
And then I was on another date
and it worked again,
145
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,593
so I figured it would work
all the time.
146
00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:28,128
Well, now you know
it doesn't work all the time.
147
00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:29,913
Yeah.
148
00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,998
Although two out of three...
149
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,101
Is this what it's gonna be like?
150
00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:36,753
Being single in New York?
151
00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:39,389
Even the nice guys turn out
to be total creeps?
152
00:05:39,391 --> 00:05:43,193
I have gotten pretty creepy
since I moved here.
153
00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:46,429
I feel so lost right now.
154
00:05:46,431 --> 00:05:48,431
I don't even know
what I'm doing with my life.
155
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:51,234
Can I tell you
an embarrassing story?
156
00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:52,486
Is it this one?
157
00:05:52,488 --> 00:05:53,820
Taking place right now?
158
00:05:53,822 --> 00:05:55,739
I felt lost
159
00:05:55,741 --> 00:05:57,741
for a long time, too.
160
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,394
I was living in
my parents' basement.
161
00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,964
Playing video games, mastur...
162
00:06:03,966 --> 00:06:05,715
ing those games,
163
00:06:05,717 --> 00:06:06,850
until
164
00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:08,218
I finally woke up
165
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:11,138
and realized I wanted
to follow my dream
166
00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:12,672
of teaching music.
167
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,476
Let me save you a few years.
168
00:06:16,478 --> 00:06:19,229
Even if it sound
completely crazy...
169
00:06:19,231 --> 00:06:21,431
what is it you want
to do with your life?
170
00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:24,968
I want to end poverty.
171
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,403
Great.
172
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:28,972
Then every decision you make
from here on out
173
00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,291
should be in service of that.
174
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:33,410
Wow.
175
00:06:33,412 --> 00:06:35,162
Thanks.
176
00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:36,580
You know,
for a minute there,
177
00:06:36,582 --> 00:06:37,948
I totally forgot
you were naked.
178
00:06:37,950 --> 00:06:39,199
(laughs)
179
00:06:39,201 --> 00:06:41,001
In a way...
180
00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:42,752
aren't we all naked?
181
00:06:42,754 --> 00:06:45,038
Yeah, but your balls
are on my couch.
182
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,842
Hug?
I will take a rain check.
183
00:06:48,844 --> 00:06:50,093
It's raining now.
(gasps)
184
00:06:50,095 --> 00:06:52,295
Oh, my umbrella!
Oh! Uh...
185
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,548
I will be
right back.
186
00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:55,765
Um...
long story.
187
00:06:55,767 --> 00:06:57,434
(door closes)
188
00:06:57,436 --> 00:06:59,186
Nothing happened,
I swear.
189
00:06:59,188 --> 00:07:00,820
Then why are you naked?
190
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,357
Oh, what the hell?
191
00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:08,061
THE MOTHER: When I got to the club,it had already closed.
192
00:07:08,063 --> 00:07:09,679
By the next day,some super inconsiderate
193
00:07:09,681 --> 00:07:11,565
person had taken my umbrella.
194
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:14,234
But by that point,I didn't care.
195
00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:16,369
I knew that if I really wantedto end poverty,
196
00:07:16,371 --> 00:07:19,489
I had to get a degree
in economics.
197
00:07:19,491 --> 00:07:21,241
So...
198
00:07:21,243 --> 00:07:22,542
to answer your question,
199
00:07:22,544 --> 00:07:24,077
that's how I got here.
200
00:07:24,079 --> 00:07:27,030
I meant, how did you get here
from the subway station?
201
00:07:27,032 --> 00:07:27,600
Oh.
202
00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:29,663
But I'm only asking
'cause I just moved to town.
203
00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:32,201
I don't even have
a place to live yet.
204
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:33,803
Yeah, you do.
205
00:07:33,805 --> 00:07:34,888
Come live with me.
206
00:07:34,890 --> 00:07:36,256
My roommate just moved out.
207
00:07:36,258 --> 00:07:37,507
Are you sure?
208
00:07:37,509 --> 00:07:38,475
You just met me.
209
00:07:38,477 --> 00:07:39,976
I could be a serial killer.
210
00:07:39,978 --> 00:07:41,978
I like to believe in people.
211
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:45,632
Plus, what are the chances
that we're both serial killers?
212
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:46,633
(laughs)
213
00:07:46,635 --> 00:07:48,018
Just promise me there won't be
214
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,402
any naked men
in the living room.
215
00:07:49,404 --> 00:07:50,687
Not a problem.
216
00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:54,024
I'm on permanent hiatus
in the love department.
217
00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:55,025
Really?
218
00:07:55,027 --> 00:07:56,326
I find that hard to believe.
219
00:07:56,328 --> 00:07:57,727
I guess I'm
old-fashioned.
220
00:07:57,729 --> 00:08:00,864
I believe that each of us
only gets one.
221
00:08:00,866 --> 00:08:03,617
And I got mine already.
222
00:08:03,619 --> 00:08:04,918
Well, if you ask me,
223
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,037
you know what comes
after the one?
224
00:08:07,039 --> 00:08:08,071
The next one.
225
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,422
(laughing):
Oh, yeah.
226
00:08:09,424 --> 00:08:11,458
Well, I don't really
see that happening
227
00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:13,877
any time soon.
228
00:08:13,879 --> 00:08:15,178
Hi.
229
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:16,513
Is this room seven?
230
00:08:20,941 --> 00:08:23,919
And so, if you must bring food
to this class,
231
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,971
please bring enough
for everyone.
232
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,906
I don't want to see someone
233
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,142
eating, say, lobster,
in the front row
234
00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:32,461
without sharing
with the rest of of us.
235
00:08:32,463 --> 00:08:33,928
Because that...
236
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,032
would be shellfish.
237
00:08:37,034 --> 00:08:39,234
(laughs)
238
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,371
Come on,
that was funny.
239
00:08:43,373 --> 00:08:45,323
Anyway... (clears throat)
...this is Architecture 101.
240
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,658
Architecture 101?
241
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,727
Oh, no, I'm in the wrong class!
I have to go!
242
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,330
Oh, sorry.
243
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,381
Um...
244
00:08:53,383 --> 00:08:54,783
Oh, God.
245
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,151
Wait, I was in the right class.
246
00:08:56,153 --> 00:08:58,753
First day as a professor,
wrong classroom, coming through!
247
00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:04,176
TED:
You play bass?
248
00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:05,894
Seriously,
ask my friends.
249
00:09:05,896 --> 00:09:06,895
I always say
250
00:09:06,897 --> 00:09:08,180
my ideal woman...
251
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,131
...does not play bass,
252
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,350
because this is clearly
your roommate's.
253
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,518
She's in a band.
254
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,969
Damn, that's cool.
255
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,238
This is unbelievable.
256
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,240
You just picked out
the only three things in here
257
00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:19,491
that are my roommate's.
258
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,526
So does your roommate's band
ever play shows or...
259
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,412
Get out.
All right.
260
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,002
Okay, this is crazy.
261
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,588
Do you know where this
umbrella came from?
262
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,972
Because I could've
sworn that I...
263
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,325
What's wrong?
264
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:54,476
Are you okay?
265
00:09:54,478 --> 00:09:55,861
We broke up.
266
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:58,480
Oh... well,
I never liked him,
267
00:09:58,482 --> 00:10:01,116
and I never thought
he deserved you, and...
268
00:10:01,118 --> 00:10:03,184
I am sorry, I didn't know
you were dating someone.
269
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,119
Who was this?
270
00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:06,655
He was the architecture
professor.
271
00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:09,357
The one who taught
Econ 305 by accident.
272
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,858
Oh.
273
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,160
That guy?
274
00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:13,712
Why did you break up?
275
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,247
He's got a thing for you.
276
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,531
What?
277
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,699
Yeah, what?
278
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,033
He's... what?
279
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,419
How... um, how could
he have a thing for me?
280
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,721
He's never even met me.
281
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,038
He didn't have to.
282
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,341
Everything he saw of yours,
he went crazy for.
283
00:10:26,343 --> 00:10:28,510
You should've brought
him to my room.
284
00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:30,312
Okay? He would've
run screaming
285
00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:31,930
once he saw my
calligraphy set,
286
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,098
my coin collection,
287
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,067
my chain-mail corset
from the Renaissance Faire.
288
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,019
Well, that's pretty cool.
289
00:10:38,021 --> 00:10:39,104
Come on.
290
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,822
How could he not
be in love with you?
291
00:10:40,824 --> 00:10:42,890
The way you
fall asleep on the couch
292
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,025
when you're doing the crossword.
293
00:10:44,027 --> 00:10:45,660
When did he see me
fall asleep on...
294
00:10:45,662 --> 00:10:47,061
The way your hair smells.
295
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,798
The way your eyes sparkle.
296
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,739
I might have some stuff
to figure out.
297
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,375
You might.
I'm so sorry!
298
00:11:00,377 --> 00:11:02,294
No, uh, it's okay.
299
00:11:02,296 --> 00:11:03,745
It was nice.
300
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,048
I haven't been kissed
in a really long time.
301
00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:09,968
Not long after that,she met a nice girl
302
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,853
and they fell in love,
303
00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:14,856
so it's a happy ending--
for Cindy anyway.
304
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:17,359
I, however, am left
without a roommate,
305
00:11:17,361 --> 00:11:19,561
so here we are.
306
00:11:19,563 --> 00:11:20,928
(chuckles)
307
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,230
I have a confession.
308
00:11:22,232 --> 00:11:24,532
Uh, I don't need
a place to live.
309
00:11:24,534 --> 00:11:26,818
I saw your ad for the
roommate, and I just...
310
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,620
I-I really wanted to meet you.
311
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:32,707
I-I'm a huge fan of your
band SuperFreakonomics.
312
00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:34,292
Oh, my gosh, really?
313
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,127
Really, come
I to all your shows,
314
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,463
and I'm not just saying this--
I think you guys are
315
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,949
the best economic-themed band
in the entire city.
316
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,085
Even better
than Radiohedge Fund?
317
00:11:44,087 --> 00:11:45,337
Oh, absolutely.
318
00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:48,773
I wish I had the guts
to do what you do.
319
00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:53,478
I love to sing, but...
320
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,263
You know what?
321
00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:58,966
Next time we do a show, you have
got to come up onstage with us
322
00:11:58,968 --> 00:11:59,934
and sing a song.
323
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,853
Oh, no, I couldn't.
Mm-hmm.
324
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,639
No, I'm, I'm, I'm too shy.
325
00:12:05,775 --> 00:12:08,643
♪ But maybe just one song!
326
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,478
♪ Yeah!
327
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,616
I mean, I don't like to think
of SuperFreakonomics as my band.
328
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:16,584
I think of it as my canvas
329
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:19,487
upon which I paint
my masterpieces.
330
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,822
(laughs)
331
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,375
And that right there is
why I don't play bass.
332
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:26,327
(laughter)
333
00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:28,930
Can I help you
with that?
334
00:12:28,932 --> 00:12:32,801
Uh, wow, thanks, Superman.
335
00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:34,769
No problem.
336
00:12:34,771 --> 00:12:35,670
It's either help you
337
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,389
or stop a train
from going off a cliff,
338
00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:38,773
and you're much cuter.
339
00:12:38,775 --> 00:12:39,974
(chuckles)
340
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,008
Can I buy you a drink?
341
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,495
Oh, no, sorry, I'm 16.
342
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:47,315
Oh, wow, sorry.
343
00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:48,516
Have a good night.
344
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,951
Wait, you believe that?
345
00:12:50,619 --> 00:12:51,820
I like you.
346
00:12:51,822 --> 00:12:54,322
Uh, sure,
you can buy me a drink.
347
00:12:54,324 --> 00:12:55,890
MacLaren's.
348
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:56,841
The last time I was here,
349
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,676
I thought this place
was called Puzzles.
350
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,078
That's an odd name.
351
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,963
Why would you call a bar
Puzzles?
352
00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:04,716
Unless that's the puzzle.
353
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:05,917
Well, um,
354
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,470
thank you for the drink.
355
00:13:08,472 --> 00:13:11,222
Uh, so, do you want
to get dinner sometime?
356
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,425
Um...
357
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,729
Louis, you're really nice,
but...
358
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:20,899
I was in love with somebody
a long time ago,
359
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,817
and he died.
360
00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:24,269
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
361
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,739
Uh, it's silly, but...
362
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:31,893
it's like the first lottery
ticket I ever bought was...
363
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:36,114
kaboom, jackpot, and I'm pretty
sure I'm not going to win again,
364
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,449
not like that anyway,
365
00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:41,453
so I don't generally buy
lottery tickets anymore.
366
00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:42,620
I understand.
367
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,739
So I should... go.
368
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,009
Well, if you
change your mind...
369
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,745
...give me a call.
370
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,180
Okay.
371
00:14:00,022 --> 00:14:02,440
Okay, now we're even!
372
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,225
What?!
What?!
373
00:14:04,227 --> 00:14:06,694
So we got dinner.
And?
374
00:14:08,096 --> 00:14:10,031
He's... nice.
375
00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:12,867
Nice? He sounds amazing!
376
00:14:12,869 --> 00:14:14,769
Handsome, good dresser,
paid for dinner.
377
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,103
What more do you want?
378
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,105
Do you know how rough
it is out there?
379
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,441
I once met a guy claiming
to be a genie
380
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,076
whose penis grants wishes.
381
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:25,163
Oh, my God,
who would even fall for that?
382
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,582
The point is,
Louis sounds great.
383
00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:30,451
NARRATOR: And that's how your momstarted dating Louis.
384
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,120
And for a couple years,it was fun.
385
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,974
THE MOTHER:
♪ One tasty English muffin
386
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,593
♪ Baby, that is what I am
387
00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:39,644
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
388
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,514
♪ One tasty English muffin
389
00:14:42,516 --> 00:14:47,268
♪ With some raspberry jam.
390
00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:49,103
That's funny.
(chuckles)
391
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,357
NARRATOR:
It just wasn't love.
392
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,809
But then fate intervened.
393
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,028
Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh,
happen to know of any
394
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,581
good wedding bands available
at the last minute, would you?
395
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:04,619
Hi. One ticket
to Farhampton, please.
396
00:15:04,621 --> 00:15:07,172
NARRATOR: Now, Louis had a beach houseout in Farhampton,
397
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,706
so he let your motherstay there.
398
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,758
The day before the wedding,as she was taking
399
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,927
some cookies out of the oven,she got an e-mail.
400
00:15:12,929 --> 00:15:15,880
(gasps)
What the damn hell?!
401
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,666
"Bass player wanted,"
that is what the ad said.
402
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,518
Can you believe that?
403
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:24,822
After I'm the one who invited
Darren into the band.
404
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,107
What am I gonna do?
405
00:15:26,109 --> 00:15:29,477
You need to steal
this douche monkey's van.
406
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,981
Then run my husband over
with it.
407
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:34,983
Well, that's very tempting.
408
00:15:34,985 --> 00:15:37,318
I've never really been
the type of person to...
409
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,671
"Must be hotter
than the girl we have now,
410
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,407
who, in my opinion,
is a six at best"?
411
00:15:46,128 --> 00:15:49,747
Aw, geez, what is this
knucklehead doing?
412
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,587
Excuse me! Hey!
413
00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:57,255
You guys need a lift?
414
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,890
DARREN:
The best man just punched me
415
00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:00,475
in the face for no reason.
416
00:16:00,477 --> 00:16:01,476
You know what? I quit.
417
00:16:01,478 --> 00:16:03,094
You can have
your stupid band back.
418
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,982
Linus, whoever that best man is,
419
00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:11,736
I would like to buy him
a double of your finest scotch.
420
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,364
Louis!
421
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,555
Will you marry me?
422
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:39,939
Can you give me a minute?
Um... okay.
423
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:42,724
There's someone
that I need to talk to.
424
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,061
I'll-I'll be right back.
425
00:16:47,764 --> 00:16:49,481
(breathes heavily)
426
00:16:56,639 --> 00:17:00,692
Hi, Max. It's me.
427
00:17:00,694 --> 00:17:02,294
Sorry to interrupt.
428
00:17:02,296 --> 00:17:05,480
I know you're probably up there
playing baseball with your dad.
429
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:10,619
Um, look, I-I've got
a situation here.
430
00:17:10,621 --> 00:17:15,207
I think that I have been
holding myself back
431
00:17:15,209 --> 00:17:18,510
from falling in love again.
432
00:17:18,512 --> 00:17:23,298
(voice breaks): And I think it's because
I can't let you go.
433
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,251
But you're not here anymore...
434
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:31,056
so I have to ask this:
435
00:17:31,058 --> 00:17:35,727
Would it be okay
if I moved on?
436
00:17:37,313 --> 00:17:40,949
I realize that you have no way
of answering that,
437
00:17:40,951 --> 00:17:42,284
but, um...
438
00:17:42,286 --> 00:17:44,152
Oh, okay... (laughs)
439
00:17:44,154 --> 00:17:47,772
I will take that as yes.
440
00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:51,910
Um, in that case,
I should get back in there.
441
00:17:58,501 --> 00:18:02,620
(voice breaks):
I guess this is it.
442
00:18:02,622 --> 00:18:04,506
For real this time.
443
00:18:06,976 --> 00:18:09,177
Bye, Max. (sniffles)
444
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,852
(sighs, sniffles)
445
00:18:24,444 --> 00:18:26,862
So?
446
00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:37,372
My answer is...
447
00:18:37,374 --> 00:18:39,074
no.
448
00:18:46,265 --> 00:18:47,933
(sighs)
449
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:51,686
(sobs)
450
00:18:53,672 --> 00:18:55,223
DESK CLERK:
You're in luck.
451
00:18:55,225 --> 00:18:57,059
Mother of the bride
never checked in.
452
00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:58,977
How many keys
will you be needing?
453
00:18:58,979 --> 00:18:59,945
Just one.
454
00:18:59,947 --> 00:19:01,346
Yeah.
I just...
455
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,032
I broke up with someone.
456
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:11,773
I think room number six
is the room for you.
457
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,191
Thank you.
458
00:19:32,711 --> 00:19:34,262
(plays soft chord)
459
00:19:55,418 --> 00:19:57,836
(plays soft ballad)
460
00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:15,353
♪ Hold me close
and hold me fast ♪
461
00:20:15,355 --> 00:20:18,223
♪ This magic spell you cast
462
00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:22,444
♪ This is la vie en rose
463
00:20:22,446 --> 00:20:26,815
♪ When you kiss me,
Heaven sighs ♪
464
00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:29,934
♪ And though I close my eyes
465
00:20:29,936 --> 00:20:34,489
♪ I see la vie en rose
466
00:20:34,491 --> 00:20:38,660
♪ When you press me
to your heart ♪
467
00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:40,996
♪ I'm in a world apart ♪
468
00:20:40,998 --> 00:20:45,283
♪ A world where roses bloom
469
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:50,972
♪ And when you speak,
angels sing from above ♪
470
00:20:50,974 --> 00:20:53,892
♪ Everyday words
471
00:20:53,894 --> 00:20:59,514
♪ Seem to turn into love songs
472
00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:05,020
♪ Give your heart and soul
to me ♪
473
00:21:05,022 --> 00:21:09,774
♪ And life will always be
474
00:21:09,776 --> 00:21:14,946
♪ La vie en rose.
475
00:21:14,948 --> 00:21:17,682
(plays ending chord)
476
00:21:22,538 --> 00:21:24,923
NARRATOR: Kids, I must have heardyour mom's rendition
477
00:21:24,925 --> 00:21:27,992
of "La Vie en Rose"a million times over the years.
478
00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:30,262
Every night when she tuckedyou in, for instance.
479
00:21:30,264 --> 00:21:31,379
But that performance,
480
00:21:31,381 --> 00:21:33,965
that first nightI ever heard her sing,
481
00:21:33,967 --> 00:21:36,735
that one will always bemy favorite.
482
00:21:40,941 --> 00:21:42,442
Wow.
483
00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:46,647
Barney, I was just out there
on the patio...
484
00:21:46,649 --> 00:21:49,016
and there's someone
in the room next to us.
485
00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,484
I didn't see her, but...
486
00:21:50,486 --> 00:21:52,235
Well, she was playing
the ukulele...
487
00:21:58,393 --> 00:21:59,760
Barney?
33806
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