All language subtitles for Ghosts - S02E14 - Trevors Body.sd-en

Good morning, Thor.
What's going on here?

Jay's taking the guests fishing,

then he's going to cook for
them whatever they catch.

Part of new
Experience Package.

They're calling it
"Bait-to-Plate."

My coinage.

Oh, my God, I think
I got something.

[laughing][whoops] You guys
are gonna eat so well tonight.

[Davis and Eileen
laughing]

DAVIS:
Is that a... human skull?

Of course it is.

That probably end
of Bait-to-Plate.

♪

Okay, so,
some pretty big ghost news.

We finally heard back
from the coroner,

who, frankly, we
have spoken to

way too many times
since we moved in.

How is Marvin?
SAMANTHA:
Oh, he's good.

Yeah, Michelle's good,
kids are good.

- Aw.
- Girl, can we get on with it?

Okay, well, not a huge shock,
since we all know

his finance bros dumped his body
in the lake, but

the skull that was found
turns out to be Trevor's.

Knew it! You see
that chiseled jaw bone?

You could slice brisket
with that thing.

Congratulations, Trevor,
or my condolences.

As an etiquette stickler,
I confess I'm at a loss.

FLOWER: Sam, there's
an older couple

walking in, arguing about where

to get the best bagel
in Manhattan.

It's obviously Ess-a-Bagel.

Yeah, that's what the guy said.

LENNY:
What are you talking about?

Russ Daughters?
Are you a tourist?

We're both tourists, Lenny.
We live in New Jersey.

Oh, my God. It's my parents.

[gasps]
The mishpucha?

We have all been
here way too long.

What did I tell you?

You weren't lying.

These are some of the best ants
I've ever seen.

And you know
your boy Pete's seen some ants.

Well, then, welcome
to the ant-watching club, Peter.

We meet Wednesdays, Saturdays,

and any time Samantha brings us
an apple core.

ISAAC:
Uh, Nigel,

can we get back to our walk?

I'm not interested
in watching ants,

or having your ex-lover stare
at me weirdly.

This is just how I stare.

I know no other way.

NIGEL:
Okay, we can go.

But if Kevin or any of the ants

from the McGregor clan show up,
you come get me immediately.

[laughs]
Like I wouldn't.

JENKINS:
Enjoy your walk.

I'll be here waiting,

something I'm very good at.

Man, I am loving it
here in the shed.

We are so lucky
Nigel and Isaac started dating.

We'll see how long that lasts.

Excuse me?

Oh, no,
I shouldn't say anything more.

I mean, if I told you

Nigel and I liaisoned
on Christmas Eve,

it'd surely get back to...

Oops. Pretend you didn't hear.

What do you mean
"liaisoned"?

I guess you'll just have
to ask Nigel, won't you?

Let those lips
tell you themselves

what they've been up to.

ESTHER:
And then he went missing,

and they never found the body.

At least now
we finally have his remains.

It's a little bit
of closure.

Anyway, we thought we'd just
stop by to walk the grounds,

you know, where he's been
all this time.

TREVOR:
Wow, this is depressing.

Sam, jump in with
something here, please.

Uh, do you have any pictures?

I know we'd love
to see pictures of Trevor.

ALBERTA:
Mm-hmm.

Oh, I have some on my phone.[laughs]

Our-our-our son Jeremy
uploaded them from my cloud.

- Ooh. What's he up to?
- Wh-What does Jeremy do?

Well, he sleeps till noon
and calls when he needs money.

[laughs]
That checks out.

Oh, here's Trevor
as a toddler.

Look at that punim. And that tiny shmeckel.

Hey, that's a respectable
shmeckel for a two-year-old.

Ooh, Respectable Shmeckel.

Good band name.

Uh, have you ever worn pants?

Wait a minute.
Is that him

with a cardboard cutout
of Mel Gibson?

Yeah, it's his bar mitzvah.
[laughs]

The theme was
Mel Gibson movies.

[Jay exhales]
Yeah, we-we didn't know

about Mel yet
at that time.

What's to know?
He's awesome.

Ooh, ask if they're still
in my childhood home.

Do you still live in the home
where Trevor grew up?

I still do.

Lenny moved into a condo
after the divorce.

- What?
- Oh. I'm sorry.
You're not married.

LENNY:
No, it's okay.

It's-it's-it's been
a long time.

I come from a broken home?

I'm a ghost of divorce?

ALBERTA [laughing]:
Ooh, honey, this is one

juicy conundrum.

Do we let Isaac know
what Jenkins told y'all,

or do we let him live
in blissful ignorance?

Peter, as our resident cuckold,
what do you think we should do?

Would you have wanted to know
about your wife cheating on you?

Look, being totally honest,

finding out was one of
the worst days of my afterlife.

I kind of wish I never knew.

But if Isaac knew, at least
he'd be able to deal with it.

- Deal with what?
- Hi.

- Hmm?
- We're trying to figure out
whether to tell Isaac

that Nigel cheated on him.

What?

I know. It's a toughie.

Look, Isaac, um,
after you left the shed,

Jenkins told Thor and I
that on Christmas Eve,

when you and Nigel
were briefly broken up,

Jenkins and Nigel... liaisoned.

What does that mean?

He mentioned something
about lips

and then did this thing
with his eyebrows,

and it didn't seem great.

And that's coming
from a famous cuckold.

Hey, your spouse cheated, too!

I'm a lady.
That's to be expected.

Your thing's just weird and sad.

I can't believe this.

My parents are divorced,
Mel Gibson's a monster.

What the hell is going on
in the world?

I get it. It was tough for me
when my parents got divorced.

Oh, was sort of expecting
a comforting follow-up.

I guess we're just
getting information.

It doesn't make any sense.
They were the perfect couple.

And it seemed like
there was still a spark, right?

That's the thing about divorce.

There's those moments where the
two people see each other again

at some family
event, like a...

a graduation or a dance recital,

and you think there's a chance
they could get back together.

Again, it just never takes
that uplifting turn.

But what if
the recital didn't end?

Yes. Wait, what do you mean?

We throw a memorial... for me.

And my parents stay here at the
B and B for the whole weekend

while we manipulate them
back into love.

Are you suggesting
we Parent Trap them

from beyond the grave?

Okay, I don't like
where this is headed.

That's exactly
what I'm suggesting.

Using insider information
from their dearly departed son,

you will create
the perfect romantic scenario.

Oh.
And before you know it...

Boom.
The mishpucha is back together.

I don't know that this'll work,
but we got to try.

Okay, time-out.

Can we just let
these old people be?

I mean, they got divorced
for a reason.

Yeah, the reason was me.

You heard them. They split up
right after my death.

If this is my fault, then I need
to be the one who fixes it.

Trevor thinks
it was his fault,

and he wants a chance to fix it.

You're not gonna
deny him that, are you?

Okay, fine. Let's set
a parent trap for these two.

THORFINN:
Very difficult

to build trap big enough
to capture both parents.

But if you succeed,

you and small man eat
like kings.

What is wrong with you?

How's Operation
Parent Trap going?

Not exactly sparks yet.

So, Sunday,
maybe we take 87 back?

That sounds fine.

Talk does not get
much smaller than that.

Sam, get in here!

These alte kakers
need wine, stat!

Oh, this is
so nerve-racking.

If these two
don't end up together,

Trevor will neverbe born!

We never should have showed her
Back to the Future.

Here is some wine.

- Ah.
- Oh, thank you.

Something smells delicious.
What are we having?

SAMANTHA:
- It's red snapper.
- Red snapper, Ma.

They had it every year
on their anniversary.

We used to have that
every year on our anniversary.

That's because, on our
honeymoon, we went to Acapulco.

Right.
And the two things
on the menu at the resort

was pork
and red snapper.

Well, this thawing seems
like a very positive sign.

Now play "The Best of Times"
from the musical

La Cage aux Folles.

["The Best of Times" playing]

Oh, my God.
Esther, do you hear it?

This was our song.

We used to sing this song
at every family occasion.

Including Trevor's
bar mitzvah.

I insisted we all do it in an
Australian accent to honor Mel.

What a lovely tradition.

It was. [sighs]

We had some good times.

Didn't we, Esther?

We sure did, Lenny.

- Trevor, it's working.
- Uh-huh.

These two are gonna shtup.

[laughing]:
Yay! You're going
to exist.

ISAAC:
Nigel,

you should know

that Jenkins has been spreading
the most vile of rumors,

trying to drive a wedge
- between us.
- Is he?

He told my friends that you and
he liaisoned on Christmas Eve.

Need I remind you

that we were temporarily
broken up at that point?

So it's true?

We were on a respite.

A respite?

We were estranged
a mere 15 hours.

You refused
to even kiss me.

You injured my pride.

I can't even look at you
right now.

We're finished.

Again, we were
on a respite.

A respite!

So, this is where
we watch movies and just relax.

Ooh.

We thought maybe you could enjoy
your dessert here.

Thank you so much.

Would you guys like
to watch a movie?

Oh, Jay's getting on
board with attempting

to have your parents
fornicate. That's nice.

Okay, Sam, now offer
to put on The Horse Whisperer.

It was a Robert Redford film
that my mother always

referred to as "sensual."

You know what movie I watched

the other night that was good?
The Horse Whisperer.

Uh-oh.[Esther gasps]

Oh, I know that one.

Good choice.

Your mom's all horned up.

I don't think we ever made it
through that one all the way.

Right?
[laughing]:
No.

[laughs]
Well, we should
probably leave quickly.

We're gonna leave
you two alone.

ESTHER:
Oh, Lenny, you still

got those moves.

And you got
the sexiest shoulders

this side
of the Long Island Expressway.

[laughs]

[phone ringing]
Ah, excuse me.

Seriously?

- Well, it's work.
- Right-right now?

No, Dad, no.
No, no, no, no, no!

Uh, yeah, hi, hi.
Lenny Lefkowitz here.

No, it's a great time.

Oh, she did not
like that.

Unbelievable.

No, Mom.

Come back, make love to Dad!

ISAAC:
I can't believe
I ever trusted Nigel.

What's up with Commander Crap
over here looking all sad?

Isaac now second most famous
cuckold in house.

Really?

Oh, how do I get past this?

ALBERTA:Well,

in my experience, nothing gets
you over the last like the next.

You got to go smooch
someone else.

Yeah, get some strange.

I learned that term from
the water heater repairman.

It means unfamiliar
genitals, huh?

Catchy.

What strange
is even available to me?

I mean, other than Jenkins,
which... no, thank you.

Thor do know of other option.

Other day,
when yelling from window

to son Bjorn, I learn

there is a gay Puritan ghost
also living at Farnsbys'.

Perhaps since Puritan ghost

is gay and Isaac also gay,
you two might...

get along.

Thor, that's pretty insulting
to suggest two people would be

into each other just
because they're both gay.

ISAAC:
Yes.

Thank you, Sasappis.

Now... the Farnsbys', you say?

Sam, my dad blew it.

He took a phone call
at a very inopportune time,

which my mom was always annoyed
about when they were married.

That's not good.
Trevor's dad blew it.

- Uh, sorry, No Pants!
- They're leaving right
after the memorial

tomorrow, so we have to get
something to happen tonight.

JAY:
Babe, I think we got
to take the "L "on this, okay?

We tried to get
two elderly people to smush

at their son's memorial weekend,

and we just didn't
quite get there.

Their divorce is my fault.

If I don't do everything that
I can to solve this right now,

I am never going
to get another chance.

I don't like
these long silences.

They're never good.

Okay, so, in The Parent Trap,
they sent a message

to the one parent to get them
to show up at the same place

where they knew the other
parent was going to be.

Okay.

What's your point?

You could sneak
into your mom's room

and use her phone
to text your dad

and invite him over.

You want him
to sext his dad?!

I wouldn't put
it like that.

I love it.

But, yes, I want him
to sext his dad.

You're a genius.

[laughs]
We're going to hell.

So, how did it go?

I think it went well.
Found my mom's phone,

sexted my dad, at which
point he came over.

And then, obviously,
I got the hell out of there.

Well, they look pretty cozy.

Oh, baby, I can let
- you know. They did it.
- PETE: Wait.

Are you also just interpreting
their body language, or...?

Uh-uh, honey.
I saw them.

Wanted to make sure

it happened for you,
Trev. Congrats.

You watched my parents do it?

It was beautiful.

Seriously? You, too?

Cards on the table.
I was gonna leave,

but then Hetty
called me a wimp.

HETTY:
It was very educational.

Esther put on
quite the master class.

JAY:
Uh, hey, Sam,

I'd like you to
meet Tara Reid.

I'm here
for Trevor's memorial.

TREVOR:
My parents are boning,

and Tara Reid is at my memorial?
Best day ever!

It's very nice to meet you.

Who is Tara Reid?

We've been through this.

She was a huge movie star.

I was at her birthday
at The Surf Lodge.

- Ah.
- She was
going to be

my celebrity out if I ever got

into a long-term relationship.

Uh, Trevor's brother
Jeremy hired Tara

off of an app
called Pop-In?

Which is kind of like Cameo,
but for in-person appearances.

I don't know any
of those words.

TREVOR:
My brother couldn't make it
so he sent Tara Reid?

Is that a bro or what?

This is Isaac!

Other homosexual ghost
I tell you about!

Hello, George!

Hello, Isaac!

Okay, Thor go now!

Let you scream
in private!

So, George,
tell me about yourself!

Enough chitchat!
Let's get to the naughty stuff!

Oh, that's a bit forward!

- Aren't you a Puritan?!
- Yes, well,

when I died and didn't
immediately go to heaven,

I reconsidered some things!

I'm a bad, bad boy now!

And I want to hear
what you're wearing, sir!

You know, it's all a bit fast
for me, George!

How about reading?!

Are you a fan?!

Have you read The Iliad?!

What did you say
about an oily lad?!

Describe him... slowly!

[sighs]

[upbeat, gentle music playing]

Well, looks like
a life well lived, Trevor.

Thank you all for coming.

Losing a child is the worst
thing any parent can go through.

But being here today
with all of you

who loved and cared
about our son,

it makes me feel like
he's here in the room.

We love you, son.

I love you guys.

Hey, Trev.[gasps]

The basement ghosts
send their condolences.

I'm trying to listen
to my parents talk.

Whoa. Are those your folks?

I saw them boning last night!

- They seem great.
- LENNY: Not only

has this been a loving tribute
to our son.

It's been a reminder of what
is really important in life.

I'd like to say a few words.

Tara Reid is giving a speech.

Sure. Why not?

First of all,
I'm excited to tell you

that Pop-In and Taco Bell
have teamed up

for a very exciting offer.

Anyone that leaves here
from the memorial

and mentions Trevor's name
at the drive-through

gets a free large drink.

Aw. That's nice.[applause, soft murmuring]

TARA:
I didn't really know Trevor
that well, but

he seemed like a really warm
and wonderful guy.

And he was a bit
- of a player.
- Yes.

And the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.

Right, Lenny? He slipped me his
business card in the kitchen.

Are you kidding me, Lenny?

Oh, God.

It was a
business card.

Like she's really
in the market

for wholesale
lighting supplies?

[groans]

LENNY:
You never know.

Oops.

I wanted to let you know
that I've decided

to forgive you.

I've realized
that what we have is special.

I agree.

Sometimes it takes
a meaningless Christmas liaison

or screaming obscenities
with a pervy Puritan

to realize
what you've had all along.

Oh, you heard that?

Paul Revere never screamed
so loudly.

Traitorous scoundrel.

Okay, let's not
go down that road.

The point is, Nigel,

is that you are a gentleman.

And that is a very rare thing,

and I could not have chosen
a better person

to be stuck with together forever.

But, moving forward,
I don't think

you should continue
to live with Jenkins.

Not because I don't trust you,

but because
he's a son of a bitch.

That I cannot argue with.

So what are you proposing?

Well, I guess I'm saying that
you should not live in the shed

but rather
in the mansion with me.

You mean like in your room?

I mean like in a nearby room.

Don't want to rush things.

We are really
baby-stepping this thing.

Well, we have eternity.

All right, Isaac, I accept.

Ooh, what about the library?

I quite fancy
that comfy couch.

Are there ants in there?

No, but Jay dropped part
of a sandwich

behind that couch
a few weeks ago,

so at night there are roaches.

Oh, I think
I'm going to like it here.

ESTHER:
You haven't changed one bit.

Same old Lenny with the work
calls and the wandering eye.

Sam, you got
to do something.
Get in there.

Maybe there's
an innocent explanation

for the whole
business card thing.

Maybe Tara Reid is interested
in wholesale lighting.

JAY:
Yes, I... 'Cause

I think she's a producer

on those Sharknado movies, and
they may have lighting needs.

Sharknado?

What are you two talking about?

I saw you guys last night.
There was still a spark there.

Why do you even care?
Who are you?

Look, I know you said you felt
Trevor's presence in that room.

And what if you were right?

What if Trevor is here
with us today?

My parents also got divorced,
and I know I blame myself.

Maybe Trevor blames his death
for your divorce.

Well, why would he do that?

Because you got divorced
right after I died.

Maybe because
of the timing.

No, no. Trevor's death
had nothing

to do with us splitting up.

The-the truth is, our problems
were there long before that.

I caught Lenny cheating when the
boys were still in junior high.

I didn't know that.

And we decided to stay together

until they were out
of the house.

But Jeremy never
left the house.

He-he was still living there
when he was 30.

So it wasn't T-Money's fault.

They were just waiting
for J-Dog to grow up?

It's very hard
to take this story seriously

with you using
those monikers.

So it wasn't
Trevor's fault?

Divorce isn't about the kids.

It's about the parents.

Trevor, if you're
really here,

we want you to know that.

You were the best thing
to come out of our marriage.

The point is,

Trevor, we miss you every day,

and we're so glad
you were our son.

I really want
to hug my mom right now.

All right, I'm going to
step in and mama bear.

But you keep that baby
shmeckel at a safe distance.

[laughs]

We're never going to grow apart,
will we, Jay?

Okay, it's a key point
in the game,

but this feels like
a must-pause conversation.

Smart move, Jay.

Hey, we're ♪CoupleGoals.

I know. It's just,
I always thought

my parents were rock solid,
too, and it seems like

Trevor thought the same thing
about his folks.

Key to successful marriage--

die by the time you're 35
from lightning strike

before things get stale.

I know things
are great right now,

but what about
when we have kids,

or after they're grown up
and we're empty nesters?

[laughing]:
Okay, I-I love to panic

about hypotheticals
decades in the future,

but, babe, we're never
going to be empty nesters.

We have eight idiot kids who
can literally never leave.

- Oh, that's true.
- Not loving that.

Jay very wise.

Hey, guys,
I just wanted to say thanks.

I had a really great stay.

- Have a safe drive back.
- Thank you.

- All right, ciao.
- SAMANTHA:
Bye.

Bye.[soft thudding, rolling]

What was that noise?

SAMANTHA:
I'll be right back.

Tara, look out!

Whoa!

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

You could have fallen
down the stairs.

Trevor, did you knock
that vase on the floor

to try to kill Tara Reid?

Okay, yes, busted.