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1
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:48,900
Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
2
00:01:01,305 --> 00:01:07,062
The winner of tonight's seventh
annual Elvis impersonator contest
3
00:01:07,145 --> 00:01:10,979
is none other than
contestant number 21,
4
00:01:11,065 --> 00:01:13,135
Harold Lauderneck!
5
00:01:40,825 --> 00:01:45,341
15 Elvis Presley impersonators
killed in the last three weeks!
6
00:01:45,425 --> 00:01:49,703
What on earth could the motive be
to murder Elvis impersonators?
7
00:01:49,785 --> 00:01:54,813
- To get in the Guinness Book.
- Hammer, this is serious business.
8
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:58,504
Performers are dropping like flies!
9
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:02,544
I suggest you get over to
the county coroner's office
10
00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:05,014
and see what you can find out!
11
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:10,856
I'm gettin' it again.
There it is. There it is!
12
00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:14,984
I will never figure out how people
time and time again
13
00:02:15,065 --> 00:02:17,021
can do something like this.
14
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,496
The taking of a human life
is just deplorable.
15
00:02:20,585 --> 00:02:24,294
Not that. Drawing chalk outlines
around bodies -
16
00:02:24,385 --> 00:02:27,343
it's a ridiculous way to make a living.
17
00:02:38,905 --> 00:02:43,262
I'll yell you, this has got to be
the strangest serial killings I've seen
18
00:02:43,345 --> 00:02:45,939
since that weirdy was bumping off
19
00:02:46,025 --> 00:02:49,779
anybody who's ever been
on Candid Camera.
20
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,901
Next of kin been notified?
21
00:02:51,985 --> 00:02:55,261
Yes, but none of them
could identify the bodies.
22
00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:57,620
They all look alike. Dead ringers.
23
00:02:57,705 --> 00:03:02,415
Well, I hope nobody's offended,
but I'm just gonna eat lunch.
24
00:03:02,505 --> 00:03:05,144
What? You're gonna have lunch now?
25
00:03:05,225 --> 00:03:07,978
I know it's an odd time
to have lunch,
26
00:03:08,065 --> 00:03:12,138
being so late in the afternoon
but I cannot afford to skip meals.
27
00:03:13,545 --> 00:03:17,584
What exactly was the method used
to do in these Elvises?
28
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:22,420
The assailant struck each victim
in the head, using a blunt object.
29
00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:25,702
- What kind of blunt object?
- I'm not exactly sure.
30
00:03:25,785 --> 00:03:29,903
But fragments have led me to believe
that the weapon was gold plated.
31
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:32,499
- Gold plated?
- Yes.
32
00:03:32,585 --> 00:03:36,464
And it's my guess that
each one of the fatal blows
33
00:03:36,545 --> 00:03:38,661
was administered by a microphone.
34
00:03:38,745 --> 00:03:40,701
A microphone?
35
00:03:42,745 --> 00:03:46,704
We should bring some game show hosts
in for questioning.
36
00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:50,414
Mm, look at this. Aah!
37
00:03:50,505 --> 00:03:54,293
Would you please stop eating?
It's in very poor taste.
38
00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:56,341
You're right, I'm sorry.
39
00:03:56,425 --> 00:04:00,782
You're absolutely right. I should have
brought enough for everybody.
40
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:05,143
I've got to get ready.
Photographers are coming to take pictures
41
00:04:05,225 --> 00:04:08,103
of myself with all these dead Elvises.
42
00:04:08,185 --> 00:04:11,495
- For the newspapers?
- No, the Guinness Book!
43
00:04:14,585 --> 00:04:17,577
Imagine what it's like being a coroner.
44
00:04:17,665 --> 00:04:22,022
Knowing the first thing to greet you
in the morning is a dead body.
45
00:04:22,105 --> 00:04:25,017
Of course I can imagine, Doreau.
46
00:04:25,105 --> 00:04:27,141
I was married for five years.
47
00:04:29,265 --> 00:04:31,825
'Let's go over what we know so far. '
48
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,863
15 Elvis impersonators
have been murdered.
49
00:04:34,945 --> 00:04:38,779
- They have one common denominator.
- They're all dead.
50
00:04:38,865 --> 00:04:42,824
I insist you adopt a more serious
demeanour towards this case.
51
00:04:42,905 --> 00:04:45,339
You're using it
to make mediocre jokes.
52
00:04:45,425 --> 00:04:50,545
Don't be fooled, Doreau. My mind
is slowly putting the pieces together.
53
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:54,664
Sooner or later,
I'll get that beef jerky and when I do...
54
00:04:59,785 --> 00:05:02,857
How's this investigation coming? Any leads?
55
00:05:02,945 --> 00:05:06,699
No, but after a few more get killed,
we'll have more to go on.
56
00:05:06,785 --> 00:05:09,504
A few more... Hammer!
57
00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:13,897
You're not supposed to let anybody else
get killed! You're supposed to stop it!
58
00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:17,341
Look what the press
has labelled this creep.
59
00:05:17,425 --> 00:05:19,814
This makes me wanna throw up!
60
00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:24,342
Look at that. Why is the press
always glorifying violent people?
61
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:27,258
Why don't they write
about somebody like me?
62
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:31,702
Sir, can't we postpone these contests?
Under the circumstances.
63
00:05:31,785 --> 00:05:34,345
We tried that. The promoters refused.
64
00:05:34,425 --> 00:05:38,623
They're building up to the finals.
These are the preliminaries.
65
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:43,779
Sort of the elimination rounds.
I know what you're talking about.
66
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,060
I feel a migraine coming on.
67
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,933
I have found a method of
stopping those headaches for good.
68
00:05:50,025 --> 00:05:52,937
- What is that?
- Acupuncture.
69
00:05:53,785 --> 00:05:56,777
- Get away from me.
- I'm good with needles.
70
00:05:56,865 --> 00:06:00,858
- Get away from me with the needles.
- I do this on myself. I...
71
00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:02,901
Here, listen, watch.
72
00:06:02,985 --> 00:06:05,658
- I am known for this.
- No, it's gone!
73
00:06:05,745 --> 00:06:08,817
- Give me one chance.
- Stay away from me.
74
00:06:08,905 --> 00:06:11,817
- No needles!
- His loss.
75
00:06:34,505 --> 00:06:37,736
He had sideburns that were thick and bushy
76
00:06:37,825 --> 00:06:40,464
and his jaw was very rigid-like.
77
00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:48,333
- What's shakin'?
- Another murder.
78
00:06:48,425 --> 00:06:53,055
- This woman was a witness.
- Confess! I know you did it! Talk!
79
00:06:53,145 --> 00:06:57,377
- I'll get it out of her.
- She's a witness, not a suspect.
80
00:07:00,265 --> 00:07:01,903
Sorry.
81
00:07:03,505 --> 00:07:07,544
- I don't know where my head is at.
- Aha! I think I've got it.
82
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:10,378
Ma'am, is this the assailant you saw?
83
00:07:12,145 --> 00:07:14,136
That's him. This is the killer.
84
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,615
We have a link between
our killer and his victims.
85
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:22,460
We have to round up all the Elvis
impersonators with criminal records.
86
00:07:22,545 --> 00:07:25,776
I hate to admit this, Hammer...
but you're right!
87
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:36,614
It's a shame That's Incredible!
Isn't on any more.
88
00:07:36,705 --> 00:07:38,900
Can the comments, Hammer.
89
00:07:38,985 --> 00:07:43,376
Do any of these... men resemble
the attacker you saw in the parking lot?
90
00:07:43,465 --> 00:07:45,774
Yes.
91
00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:49,254
- Well, which one?
- All of them.
92
00:07:53,945 --> 00:07:56,140
Is there one in particular?
93
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:59,376
It's either the second or the fifth man.
94
00:07:59,465 --> 00:08:02,423
Would it help if we asked him to speak?
95
00:08:03,505 --> 00:08:07,817
Wait. Got a better idea.
Number two, step forward.
96
00:08:08,785 --> 00:08:11,015
Do a little bit of your act.
97
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,619
- Hm...
- Stop screwing around!
98
00:08:14,705 --> 00:08:18,334
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
99
00:08:19,425 --> 00:08:21,381
Hey, baby, hm...
100
00:08:21,465 --> 00:08:23,695
That's terrible.
101
00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:25,741
Thank you.
102
00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:30,296
Hold the applause until the end
OK, number five, same thing.
103
00:08:31,305 --> 00:08:33,739
Love me nah nah nah-nah nah
104
00:08:33,825 --> 00:08:35,861
Elvis is my name
105
00:08:35,945 --> 00:08:38,300
Ha, la la ahoy, baby
106
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:41,104
Hey, na na na-na na-na na
107
00:08:41,185 --> 00:08:44,461
- Oh, ha, baby...
- That's the one!
108
00:08:44,545 --> 00:08:46,501
That's the man I saw.
109
00:08:46,585 --> 00:08:50,180
- Are you certain?
- Yes! He's the killer.
110
00:08:52,625 --> 00:08:54,855
Clear 'em out of there, please.
111
00:08:57,465 --> 00:09:00,298
If you follow me, I'll
file your report now.
112
00:09:03,705 --> 00:09:05,900
Well, Captain, we got our man.
113
00:09:05,985 --> 00:09:09,216
Any chance of me
rockin'n'rollin' on his skull?
114
00:09:09,305 --> 00:09:15,301
The man identified is a cop put there
to test the witness's credibility!
115
00:09:15,385 --> 00:09:17,535
We're back at square one.
116
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:21,937
Not true, Captain.
We can set a trap for this lard-head.
117
00:09:22,025 --> 00:09:24,744
We'll lure him in. I
got just the right bait.
118
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:29,455
- What's that?
- Me! I'm gonna do Elvis.
119
00:09:36,985 --> 00:09:40,421
'Tired of the humdrum routine of work?'
120
00:09:40,505 --> 00:09:42,655
'Put on some blue, suede shoes
121
00:09:42,745 --> 00:09:46,784
'and become one of the millions
of successful Elvis impersonators. '
122
00:09:46,865 --> 00:09:51,302
'Our instructors will teach you
everything you need to know. '
123
00:09:51,385 --> 00:09:56,140
'So call us today.
We're fully college-accredited. '
124
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,823
I've checked the background of each victim.
125
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:05,261
Every one of them
have attended that school.
126
00:10:05,345 --> 00:10:08,576
- Uh-huh.
- So I took the liberty of enrolling you.
127
00:10:09,745 --> 00:10:13,215
What do I need to go to
some crackpot school for?
128
00:10:13,305 --> 00:10:15,375
I know how to imitate Elvis.
129
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:19,617
You just move your lips and
twitch your hips and... look bloated.
130
00:10:20,865 --> 00:10:26,258
But maybe the killer also went
to the school and knew his victims.
131
00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:31,977
You can go there and see if you
can find out about past students.
132
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,215
That's a good idea, Doreau.
133
00:10:34,305 --> 00:10:38,742
You know, I hate to admit it but...
sometimes you think like a man.
134
00:10:39,785 --> 00:10:41,776
I respect that.
135
00:10:42,705 --> 00:10:44,696
Thanks a lot.
136
00:10:45,905 --> 00:10:48,703
Coming from you,
that's quite a compliment.
137
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:52,864
Be careful, Sledge.
138
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:56,574
Attempting to snare a serial killer
could end in death.
139
00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:58,621
I certainly hope so.
140
00:10:58,705 --> 00:11:01,742
I haven't killed a serial killer in months.
141
00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:06,022
But if I ever do lose
my life in the line of duty,
142
00:11:06,105 --> 00:11:09,780
there's one very important
last request I'd like you to do.
143
00:11:09,865 --> 00:11:12,743
Sure, Sledge, what is it?
144
00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:15,862
Make sure my transmission gets rebuilt.
145
00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:31,385
Good afternoon. Welcome to
the School of Elvis Impersonators.
146
00:11:31,465 --> 00:11:33,899
I'm your instructor, Mr P.
147
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,579
After you finish this 12-week course,
148
00:11:36,665 --> 00:11:40,180
I'm gonna have moulded
you boys into The King.
149
00:11:48,105 --> 00:11:51,415
Class has begun. You're late.
150
00:11:52,185 --> 00:11:56,861
That depends. If I didn't show up at all,
this could be considered early.
151
00:11:59,305 --> 00:12:01,978
Why don't you just take a seat in the rear?
152
00:12:04,865 --> 00:12:07,254
First, let me tell you about myself.
153
00:12:07,345 --> 00:12:11,543
I've been doing Elvis for 35 years.
I'm the best.
154
00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:14,935
I'm so good Elvis
himself, in his later years,
155
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,334
came to me for a refresher course.
156
00:12:17,425 --> 00:12:20,098
This guy's really out to lunch, huh?
157
00:12:20,185 --> 00:12:23,063
Hey, you. Come up here.
158
00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:32,933
You ain't nothin' but a troublemaker.
159
00:12:33,025 --> 00:12:36,222
You had any troublemakers
like me recently?
160
00:12:36,305 --> 00:12:38,580
Why in hell would you ask that, boy?
161
00:12:38,665 --> 00:12:42,214
I guess I just have a suspicious mind.
162
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:48,584
I don't think you can make it
in my class, smarty-pants.
163
00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:52,817
You're gonna have to prove it to me
that you can. Right now.
164
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,658
Or I'm bootin' your hide out of this class.
165
00:12:55,745 --> 00:12:58,054
Now dance!
166
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,898
- What?
- I said dance!
167
00:13:00,985 --> 00:13:04,580
I wanna see if you've got
a natural sense of rhythm.
168
00:13:04,665 --> 00:13:06,781
Move your body, boy, and dance!
169
00:13:19,185 --> 00:13:23,542
Is that your best stuff, boy?
170
00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:26,822
You ain't nothin'
but a big, old wuss.
171
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,616
You think I'm a wuss?
172
00:14:10,745 --> 00:14:12,781
All right! All right!
173
00:14:23,305 --> 00:14:25,261
You want an encore?
174
00:14:48,865 --> 00:14:51,174
You're not supposed to be in here!
175
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:55,258
This is the student record room.
Private. I'm calling the police.
176
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:57,984
Hold off, friend, I am the police.
177
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,021
Inspector Sledge Hammer.
178
00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:03,256
- I'm on an investigation.
- Investigation?
179
00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:05,461
Maybe you can help me.
180
00:15:05,545 --> 00:15:09,379
Can you think of any past students
who might have, I don't know,
181
00:15:09,465 --> 00:15:11,217
acted... strangely?
182
00:15:11,305 --> 00:15:12,784
Yes, all of them.
183
00:15:12,865 --> 00:15:17,256
Can you think of one
who might have resorted to... murder?
184
00:15:17,345 --> 00:15:21,304
I'm not answering any more questions.
Leave. Right now!
185
00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:25,173
I want to get home
in time to watch Mr Belvedere.
186
00:15:25,265 --> 00:15:27,221
I guess somebody has to.
187
00:15:34,465 --> 00:15:38,981
The department got you in here
but to lure the killer you have to win.
188
00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:41,499
Don't worry, Doreau, I'll win.
189
00:15:41,585 --> 00:15:45,783
You haven't rehearsed. You don't
even know what song you're singing.
190
00:15:45,865 --> 00:15:47,696
Neither did Elvis.
191
00:15:47,785 --> 00:15:53,382
Listen, I'm gonna win because
whatever I put my mind to do, I do.
192
00:15:53,465 --> 00:15:55,854
Sheer will is my greatest talent.
193
00:15:56,905 --> 00:15:59,499
Well, I have to admire your confidence.
194
00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:02,422
Sure you're not nervous?
195
00:16:02,505 --> 00:16:05,463
I've never been nervous in my life.
196
00:16:16,065 --> 00:16:18,056
Now, where am I in this line-up?
197
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:22,741
You're following a guy from Dallas
and preceding someone from Miami.
198
00:16:23,985 --> 00:16:26,340
Between Dallas and Miami?
199
00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:28,985
What a terrible place for me to be.
200
00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:34,423
I'll be rootin' for you.
201
00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:39,499
Now it's time to bring out
our next contestant, Mr Sledge Hammer!
202
00:17:04,185 --> 00:17:07,302
Kiss me, darlin'
203
00:17:07,385 --> 00:17:09,216
Oh, kiss me on the lips
204
00:17:09,305 --> 00:17:13,264
.. on the mouth
205
00:17:13,345 --> 00:17:15,984
Kiss me...
206
00:17:16,065 --> 00:17:19,023
Every way...
207
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:22,984
Kiss me north and south
208
00:17:24,025 --> 00:17:26,220
Kiss... Kiss me...
209
00:17:26,305 --> 00:17:28,978
If you kiss m... Kiss me...
210
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:31,977
- Get out of here!
- Kiss me...
211
00:17:32,065 --> 00:17:34,101
Shut up! Shut up!
212
00:17:41,345 --> 00:17:44,940
One thing I demand from an audience
is courtesy.
213
00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:59,702
Well, I've never met a woman
Look exactly like you, oh no
214
00:17:59,785 --> 00:18:03,095
Well, I've never met a woman
Look exactly like you
215
00:18:03,185 --> 00:18:05,574
Well, I've never met a woman
216
00:18:05,665 --> 00:18:07,735
Bad news as you
217
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,935
Hoo!
218
00:18:25,025 --> 00:18:27,220
Glory, glory
219
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:31,821
Hallelu-u-u-ujah
220
00:18:33,025 --> 00:18:34,663
His truth
221
00:18:34,745 --> 00:18:42,745
Is marchin' on
222
00:18:44,465 --> 00:18:46,421
His truth
223
00:18:46,505 --> 00:18:54,505
Is marchin' on
224
00:19:08,585 --> 00:19:10,735
Whoo!
225
00:19:15,145 --> 00:19:17,101
Glory, glory.
226
00:19:17,905 --> 00:19:19,736
Top that.
227
00:19:30,505 --> 00:19:33,463
I'm sorry. That was reflex.
228
00:19:43,945 --> 00:19:46,743
I can't believe it! You were brilliant.
229
00:19:46,825 --> 00:19:49,214
I know. Well, I've done my part.
230
00:19:49,305 --> 00:19:54,060
Let's see if one of my scum-sucking
competitors takes the bait.
231
00:20:07,825 --> 00:20:12,262
Freeze, sea-eel!
I'm booking you for a lifetime engagement.
232
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:21,943
What's the matter, man?
I was just trying to congratulate the guy.
233
00:20:22,025 --> 00:20:25,984
I don't need your kind of praise, ringworm.
Get him outta here.
234
00:20:28,985 --> 00:20:32,421
- Looks like we got our man.
- Are you sure?
235
00:20:32,505 --> 00:20:36,418
I didn't see his golden microphone.
That's part of his MO.
236
00:20:36,505 --> 00:20:40,339
The golden microphone
is probably a load of bunk.
237
00:20:41,225 --> 00:20:45,059
Let's see if that bar is still open,
I'll buy you a soda pop.
238
00:21:04,345 --> 00:21:06,620
That man has a golden microphone!
239
00:21:06,705 --> 00:21:10,698
Thanks a lot, I really need you
to tell me these things
240
00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:17,461
Who the heck d'you think you are?
241
00:21:17,545 --> 00:21:21,504
I'm the greatest impersonator
of Elvis who has ever lived.
242
00:21:22,345 --> 00:21:24,859
It was you. You killed them all.
243
00:21:24,945 --> 00:21:28,062
- Why?
- Because I am clearly superior.
244
00:21:28,145 --> 00:21:31,740
I was laughed at.
That's why they all had to die!
245
00:21:33,905 --> 00:21:38,342
OK, freako, but that doesn't explain
why you chose not to waste me.
246
00:21:38,425 --> 00:21:43,260
- I knew you were policeman.
- Only one person could have known.
247
00:21:46,465 --> 00:21:50,663
I know that guy!
He's the janitor in the Elvis school.
248
00:21:50,745 --> 00:21:52,701
I also clean night clubs!
249
00:21:52,785 --> 00:21:56,539
For years I have had to watch
people inferior to me
250
00:21:56,625 --> 00:21:58,581
enjoy the bright lights.
251
00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:02,499
I can do Elvis more efficiently
than any of you!
252
00:22:07,065 --> 00:22:09,181
Consider yourself under arrest.
253
00:22:09,265 --> 00:22:11,460
And consider yourself dead!
254
00:22:16,185 --> 00:22:18,176
Hold it!
255
00:22:35,185 --> 00:22:37,653
Goodbye, Sledge Hammer!
256
00:23:02,145 --> 00:23:05,217
- Horrible. Just horrible.
- I know.
257
00:23:06,705 --> 00:23:09,822
That was the worst high note I ever heard.
258
00:23:14,225 --> 00:23:17,376
Hammer! Hammer, you'll be hap...
259
00:23:18,185 --> 00:23:19,504
Hammer!
260
00:23:22,385 --> 00:23:24,979
That freak that you bagged
261
00:23:25,065 --> 00:23:29,741
is going to make a full recovery
from his electrifying performance.
262
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,781
Oh, Captain, don't be cruel.
263
00:23:31,865 --> 00:23:34,095
Oh, I'm sorry, Hammer.
264
00:23:34,185 --> 00:23:38,542
I know you're sensitive about Elvis puns.
It was unintentional. Really.
265
00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:40,263
Oh, Hammer!
266
00:23:40,345 --> 00:23:45,373
Are you all shook up over sending
a man to do the jailhouse rock?
267
00:23:50,745 --> 00:23:52,701
I'm gettin' outta here.
268
00:23:52,785 --> 00:23:56,334
I'm fed up with hearing
about Elvis all the time.
269
00:23:56,425 --> 00:23:59,895
- Maybe I'll take a vacation.
- Where will you go?
270
00:24:01,185 --> 00:24:03,141
Graceland.
271
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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