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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,626
[knock on door]
2
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,134
[sneezing]
3
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:11,803
Good morning, Roscoe.
What are you doing here?
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,139
Well, I ain't Jehovah's Witness.
5
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:18,226
- Watch your mouth.
- Doh.
6
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,519
Buy my peanut brittle.
7
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:22,772
It's only eight dollars
and thirty cent a can.
8
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,649
Isn't that a little expensive?
9
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:28,153
Well, I gotta get
my cut off the top.
10
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,946
You know what,
you are much too young
11
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,906
to be thinking
about making money.
12
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,283
You should go to school
13
00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,535
and-and learn your mathematics
and history.
14
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:36,494
Pfft!
15
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:39,164
What I wanna know about
history for?
16
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,416
Only dead Presidents
I wanna know about
17
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:44,252
is the ones in my wallet.
18
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,921
Can I have my change back,
please?
19
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,507
I will give you your change.
20
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,177
You see, mm-hmm.
21
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,847
Look, you gave me
too much money back, Roscoe.
22
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,142
- I did?
- Yes.
23
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,810
Hey, go to school.
24
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,896
Learn your math, because
you can't be a millionaire
25
00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,856
if you can't count to ten.
26
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,024
You're right.
27
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,484
- I'll go to school.
- 'Okay--'
28
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:11,613
But you sell my peanut brittle
at work today. Alright?
29
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:14,824
And when I come home,
you better have my exact change
30
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,242
or else, I'm gonna
knock you out.
31
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,078
I'll bet you then,
I'll know how count to ten.
32
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,080
You know what? You have
no respect. You can take this--
33
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,831
- You better sell my candy.
- Get out of my apartment.
34
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,501
- I don't like you anyway.
- I don't like you either.
35
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,170
Get out of here.
You bad little thing.
36
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,880
I ain't having no kids.
37
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,382
Witch, you better
have my money.
38
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,841
Witch, you better
have my money.
39
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,259
[theme song]
40
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,974
♪ Martin ♪
41
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,060
♪ Martin ♪
42
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,104
♪ Martin Lawrence ♪
43
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,064
How y'all feel?
44
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,191
♪ Martin ♪
45
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,151
♪ Martin ♪
46
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,237
♪ Martin Lawrence ♪
47
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,156
♪ Yo ♪
♪ He's so crazy ♪
48
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,916
♪ Martin ♪
49
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,085
♪ Martin Lawrence ♪
50
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,004
How y'all feel?
51
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,047
♪ Martin ♪
52
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:13,216
♪ Martin ♪
53
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,467
♪ Martin ♪
54
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,844
♪ Lawrence ♪♪
55
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,349
[instrumental music]
56
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,727
Oh, girl, I gotta tell you
57
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:27,856
the stew last night
was delicious.
58
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,525
- You like that, huh?
- Ha-ha, yeah.
59
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:34,571
- Oh! Baby, damn!
- What's wrong?
60
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,824
Me, look,
look how fine I am.
61
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,326
Why am I wasting
this face on radio?
62
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,120
Maybe 'cause you're
saving it for me.
63
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,455
That's right.
64
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,499
Savin' it for my baby,
give me luscious.
65
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,336
Damn girl,
like kissing two melons.
66
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,296
Just, muah.
67
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,589
Ooh, goodness!
68
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,132
- Thank you.
- Hmm!
69
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,176
- Hey, Martin.
- Yeah, baby?
70
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,470
When is the last time
you washed dishes, Martin?
71
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:01,264
When was the last time
you was over here?
72
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,016
Martin, you don't you just
buy a dishwasher?
73
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,394
No, babe, because I could
never ever find one
74
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,855
as beautiful and sexy
as the one I have now.
75
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,191
Why do I get the feelin'
I'm being played?
76
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,984
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
you stop there, alright?
77
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,153
I don't play you
no more than you play me.
78
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,072
What?
I do not play you.
79
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,200
Yes, you do. Alright?
Does this sound familiar?
80
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,826
"Oh, Martin,
would you pump the gas?
81
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,620
"I don't know
where the nozzle goes.
82
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,664
"Um, where is the gas tank?
Is it in the tire?
83
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,168
- Well, is it?
- Come on, Gina.
84
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,753
What you do
when I'm not with you?
85
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,964
Uh, I play some other guy
at the gas station.
86
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,175
I'm just..
Oh, God, okay.
87
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,427
You busted me.
You satisfied? I'm busted.
88
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,720
No, I'm serious,
babe, alright?
89
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,472
Women play men
and men play women
90
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,307
that's just the way it is.
91
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,184
Now you startin'
to sound like Pam.
92
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,645
You know what, I'll kill you
if you tell her I told you this
93
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,773
but whenever Pam wants
something at work
94
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:54,526
she wears this tight
black and red dress
95
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:58,363
and she always, like, gets a
day off or a raise or somethin'.
96
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,490
You know what?
I know that dress.
97
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,410
Last night, she wore it,
I got a raise.
98
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,329
[instrumental music]
99
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,877
Hey, Shawn, no more using
paper towels in the men's room.
100
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,880
It's a waste of money,
use the air dryer.
101
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,342
Well, Stan, we don't have
an air dryer in the men's room.
102
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,052
What do you call this?
103
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,349
And, Martin, I've been
listenin' to your show, man.
104
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,978
Look, quit talking about
sex in the office, man.
105
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,105
You gonna get
the women all riled up.
106
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,691
Why, Stan? Is that
a touchy subject for you, man?
107
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,278
Hey, Martin, nowadays,
you can't even accidentally
108
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,363
walk into the ladies room..
109
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,284
...without everybody
jumping all on you, man.
110
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,578
And it used to be
the highlight of my day.
111
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:50,582
Five, four, three, two..
112
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,544
What up, what up, wassup!
Look, we're back.
113
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,338
And you already know
what we're talkin' about.
114
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:59,549
We're talkin' about sex
in the workplace.
115
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,760
Talk to me Detroit, wassup?
116
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,428
(man on phone)
'Hey, Martin, brother man.'
117
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,513
'I'm all for sex
in a workplace.'
118
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:08,183
'Especially, on my desk.'
119
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,226
Well, you just watch out
for the stapler, alright?
120
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,811
Now, get out of here.
121
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,773
Look, people, we're talking
about sexual manipulation.
122
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,108
Alright? Next caller,
talk to me. Wassup?
123
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:21,112
(woman on phone)
'Take it from me, sexism is
alive and well where I work.'
124
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,281
You know what,
I am so tired of you women
125
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,657
whinin' about bein' played
126
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,659
as if you don't do
the same thing to men.
127
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,745
- 'We don't.'
- Yes, you do.
128
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,622
Look, my girlfriend's
best friend
129
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,750
whenever this woman wants
somethin', she wears this
130
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:38,463
tight red dress that shows off
her pa-da-da-da-damn!
131
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,424
Spa-da-bla-blam!
132
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,469
(woman on phone)
'Well, you men
won't listen to us'
133
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,970
'unless we dress like that.'
134
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,639
Look, are you dressed
like that now?
135
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,057
- 'No.'
- Gotta go.
136
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,643
[instrumental music]
137
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,233
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Go, Pistons, go!
138
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,527
- What's the year?
- Man, we going all the way.
139
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,862
Watch this.
Count it, count it. Yeah.
140
00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,783
[audience cheering on TV]
141
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,034
Martin, I have to talk to you.
142
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,661
Not now, babe,
I'm watching the game.
143
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,330
Martin, I need to talk to you,
it's important.
144
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,458
Not now, Gina,
I'm watchin' the game.
145
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,710
Not now, you're not.
146
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,462
- Oh, damn!
- Oh, damn!
147
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,674
Girl, have you lost
your damn mind?
148
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,593
W-why don't y'all take that to
the bedroom like you always do?
149
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,596
Martin, I can't believe
you repeated
150
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,140
what I told you about Pam.
151
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,600
No, Gina. I can't believe
you told Martin something
152
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,144
I told you was a secret.
153
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,604
Okay. You told me how you felt
all the way over here.
154
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,232
- Okay?
- Hey, hey, hey, gr-r!
155
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,942
What are you talkin' about?
156
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,279
Martin, how could you go
on the air and tell everyone
157
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,156
that Pam wears
that dress to get a raise.
158
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,782
- No, never said that.
- Yes, you did.
159
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,451
- No.
- Yes, you--
160
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,994
- No, never.
- Yes, you did.
161
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,413
- I heard you on the air.
- No.
162
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,041
The whole office
heard it, Martin.
163
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,834
Well, now I remember.
164
00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,003
Maybe I may have
said something like that--
165
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,715
That is exactly
what you said, Martin.
166
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:07,844
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I never said her name.
167
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,055
Girl.
168
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,807
They didn't know
who I was talking about.
169
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,726
Just that part where
you was talkin' about Pam.
170
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,103
See, Martin,
even Cole figured it out.
171
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,521
Martin, how could you?
172
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,148
Look, Gina, you asked me
not to tell Pam
173
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,566
I did not tell Pam.
174
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,984
You didn't have to tell me,
Martin.
175
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,611
You just told
the whole damn city.
176
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,655
Hey, don't hate me
because I'm popular.
177
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,286
Martin Payne,
you apologize to her.
178
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,205
Not!
179
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,750
I will do no such thing.
180
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,002
If I did something wrong,
I'd apologize
181
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,420
but I did nothing wrong.
182
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,798
If Pam wouldn't have wore
that dress in the first place
183
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,549
she wouldn't have told you
in the second place
184
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,051
you wouldn't be over here
in the third place
185
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,844
I wouldn't be missing the game
in the fourth place.
186
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,263
I think you two owe me
an apology a fifth place.
187
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,599
Now, damn it, I am waitin'.
188
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:59,521
- Yeah, that was smooth.
- You like that?
189
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,232
Martin, you better
apologize to me.
190
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,067
No! Okay?
191
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,610
If I had known
it was secret-secret
192
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,903
I wouldn't have let it get out.
193
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,405
'Cause generally
when a secret's secret
194
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,614
I put it on lockdown, don't I?
195
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,283
I lock it down.
It don't get out.
196
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,035
Okay.
197
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,829
So, I guess
it was no secret-secret
198
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,039
that when the first time
you two made love
199
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,959
It was over for you
before it even began.
200
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,545
- What?
- I told you..
201
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,130
Pam!
202
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:30,510
- Hell, no!
- Oh, my God!
203
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,388
- I told you..
- Hell, hell, no!
204
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,265
- You-you told her that?
- No, I didn't.
205
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,725
You did too!
206
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,476
No, no, you weren't supposed
to say nothin', Gina.
207
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,228
Martin, Martin..
208
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,857
- Baby..
- What?
209
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,818
All you ever said
was don't tell the guys.
210
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,070
Oh, okay, okay. Bad.
Well, it's on now.
211
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,031
It's on. Okay..
212
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,700
Okay, well, did you tell Pam
about the video
213
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,327
you made it for me
on my birthday?
214
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,079
[shrieks]
215
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,205
Martin!
216
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,672
Oh! I'm so glad
I never told you a secret.
217
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,549
[both laughing]
218
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,217
Oh, really, Cole?
219
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,262
Then how come you told me
that Tommy owns a toupee
220
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,182
that he only wears when
he goes grocery shopping.
221
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,266
[coughing]
222
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,976
What?
223
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:25,023
Who told you that, Cole?
224
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:27,525
Martin.
225
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,738
No, no, no,
I never said that. No!
226
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,740
You're the only one
who knows about this, Martin.
227
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,700
See, I should've known
you couldn't keep it secret.
228
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,535
You got big ears
and a big mouth too.
229
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,205
[indistinct chatter]
230
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,499
And Martin was the one
that said Cole was a virgin
231
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,708
until he was 23.
232
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,294
(Martin)
'Hey, yo. Yo.'
233
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,587
Hey, that's no secret.
234
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,173
Everybody knew
he was a virgin at 23.
235
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,634
[laughing]
236
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,886
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
237
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,222
Did you tell 'em what you
told me about Gina's cookin'?
238
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,140
What?
239
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,559
He said it's so bad,
the homeless give it back.
240
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,019
[groaning]
241
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,607
The stew, baby.
I loved the stew.
242
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:11,236
It looked like Alpo,
but I loved it.
243
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,738
You know what? All of this stems
from Martin's big mouth.
244
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,073
I've had enough of this.
I'm outta here.
245
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,700
- Me too.
- Right, come on.
246
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,577
Hey, hey, guys.
Come on. Hey! Hey!
247
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:20,745
Hey.
248
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,081
Oh, man.
Come on, y'all.
249
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,834
Alright?
Don't leave until I put you out.
250
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:29,087
Get out! Get out!
251
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,755
You know what,
I'll catch you in hell.
252
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,048
Yeah, you'll be
the only one down there
253
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,634
still living
with your mother.
254
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,344
Where are you goin'?
255
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,681
I'd let you know,
but you'd just tell everybody.
256
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,147
[instrumental music]
257
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,776
Hello.
258
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,196
[dialing]
259
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:02,287
Yo, Tommy.
Pick up the phone.
260
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,748
Come on, man.
Pick up the phone, man.
261
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,292
I'll buy you another toupee.
262
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,961
I'm just jokin'.
Tommy, pick up the phone, man.
263
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,298
It's me, Martin. I know you
ain't still mad about yesterday.
264
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,550
Tommy.
265
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,093
Man, forget your call, man.
266
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,679
You know what, ya'll just
like a bunch of girls, man
267
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,222
but that's alright.
I don't need you.
268
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,308
So look, if you call here,
me and Gina won't be here
269
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:28,188
'cause we got new
hangout partners, you punks.
270
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,316
Punks, Martin? Oh, I'm sure
they're dying to make up now.
271
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,817
Well, who needs 'em.
272
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,152
- You do.
- No, I don't.
273
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,571
Yes, you do.
They're your friends.
274
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,114
What do you
want me to do, Gina?
275
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,616
You embarrassed Pam
on the radio
276
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,869
so there's only one way
you can make it up to everybody.
277
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,996
- Huh?
- Go on the radio
278
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,664
and say something
embarrassing about yourself.
279
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,918
Oh, no.
Sorry, I can't do that.
280
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,338
Martin, that's the only way
you could set things straight.
281
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,341
Well, I guess we won't be
hookin' up with our old friends.
282
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,634
I got my pride.
283
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,511
So what're you gonna do the next
time we have an argument
284
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,763
you just gonna throw
that relationship away too?
285
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,348
No, I won't, babe.
286
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,016
See, the next time
we have an argument
287
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,143
and if I'm wrong
I'll apologize, okay?
288
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,270
But if I'm right,
which you know I will be
289
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,940
you'll be the one apologizing
and we'll have no problems.
290
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,775
- Now, you ready to go?
- Yeah, Martin.
291
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,276
But I'm not feeling this.
292
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,779
I really rather be
at that En Vogue concert
293
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,656
with Tommy, Pam and Cole.
294
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,909
Hey, forget En Vogue.
295
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:26,121
Okay.
We hangin' with Stan now.
296
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,920
Stan is our permanent
hangout partner now.
297
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,422
Alright? Okay?
298
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,549
Now get used to it, alright?
That's it.
299
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,009
[knocking on door]
300
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:42,137
Gina, I don't wanna hear
no more about it.
301
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,224
Look out now.
302
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,694
- Wassup, man? What's happenin'?
- Alright. Alright.
303
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,946
Now, now, now.
I-I-I gotta do this.
304
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,489
Wait a minute.
Let me feel that.
305
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,408
Oh, man.
306
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,077
Whoo! Ah, it bit me.
307
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,371
Go, gal.
Nah. I'm sorry, just jokin'.
308
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:12,167
- But what is your name?
- Yeah, what is your name again?
309
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,252
Don't start with me, Stanley.
310
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,588
Alright, she's just mad
'cause I ain't fed her yet.
311
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,214
Oh, yeah.
312
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:22,010
Well, they get that way when
they don't eat. Look at Gina.
313
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,720
- Hi, I'm Gina.
- Oh, hi.
314
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:27,974
I'm Myra and I know you got a
attitude, too skinny as you are.
315
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,934
Bro, I hope you ready to hang?
316
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,271
Because I'm ready
to get my boogie on.
317
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,232
Alright.
Yo, man, you know what?
318
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,817
We couldn't
wait for you to get here.
319
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,944
That's right,
me and Gina was talkin'
320
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,197
and this is the first..
321
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,115
...of many nights of us
hangin' out together.
322
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,326
- Ain't that right, Gina?
- Right, Martin.
323
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,453
Yeah, and I got
the whole night planned.
324
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,247
You see, basically,
we just gonna get into my limo
325
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,625
and we gonna cruise until dawn
326
00:13:53,708 --> 00:14:00,006
because, Martin, Gina,
the freaks come out at night.
327
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,851
Ah, Stan, look here, man.
Look here, look here.
328
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,311
What'd you mean
"Cruise all night?"
329
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,021
I mean, I thought
we were gonna go to the club.
330
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,482
Martin, what do we need
with that club?
331
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,067
Come here, baby.
332
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,987
If we were in a club,
I couldn't hear my kitten purr.
333
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,989
[moaning]
334
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,991
Oh, my God.
335
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:32,080
Wait a, wait a minute,
wait a minute, my baby.
336
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,165
Save it for the limo,
baby, okay?
337
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,167
Shawn's parkin' it right now.
338
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,338
Whoo!
339
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,259
Oh, damn.
340
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,468
Who died?
341
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,680
Don't tell me
Martin went ahead
342
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,682
and killed that
little light skinned girl
343
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,726
for gettin' on his nerves.
344
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,645
I'm so sorry to hear that.
345
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,188
I know you.
346
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,190
You're Shananoah.
347
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,027
Excuse me.
348
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,195
Oh, no, he didn't.
What did you call me?
349
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,990
Shananoah?
Oh, no, okay?
350
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:08,867
It's Sheneneh.
Say it with me.
351
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,535
- Sheneneh.
- Sheneneh.
352
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,871
And you don't you add
or forget that R.
353
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,873
Well, he told me
all about you.
354
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,541
Martin..
355
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,211
Oh, I know what you thinking.
You didn't really come here.
356
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,796
You want to come here.
357
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:26,468
Oh, you want to get with me
just like Martin does, huh?
358
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,845
You want yourself
a sister, don't you?
359
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,638
Oh, no. Won't happen here.
360
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:34,225
Because Sheneneh
ain't with the swirl, alright?
361
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,978
I don't swirl, okay?
362
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:39,272
Okay? So well,
let's wake up, people.
363
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,440
Alright?
364
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,650
- I gotta go.
- Well, you do that, okay?
365
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:45,403
Okay, but no sister here,
alright? You remember that.
366
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,739
Take your temperature,
'cause you know what you got?
367
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,324
What?
368
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,826
You got
Sheneneh fever now.
369
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:54,037
♪ You got Sheneneh fever ♪
370
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:56,206
♪ You got Sheneneh fever ♪♪
371
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,128
♪ Cheated on my woman ♪
372
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:05,340
♪ She cut off my hand ♪
373
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,468
♪ I feel the pain ♪♪
374
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:12,138
Yo, babe.
This is great, right?
375
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,265
Stan got us a limo.
376
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,018
Tommy and Cole
ain't never got us no limo.
377
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:21,398
Martin, this is a hearse
from his funeral parlor.
378
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:24,609
Oh. Well, I guess we won't be
stopping at no red lights.
379
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,611
Pang.
380
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,613
This is our song.
381
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,739
I know.
382
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,282
No, not you.
383
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:34,119
Me and Darnell
from the post office.
384
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,621
Now that man knew
how to treat a woman.
385
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,957
Well, what the hell
do you call this?
386
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,792
A nightmare.
387
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,627
Baby, loosen up, alright?
388
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,504
Stan got us champagne.
389
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,132
Martin, it has a twist off cap.
390
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,968
Well, that's because Stan
was thinking, baby. Alright?
391
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,387
Those corks can put
somebody's eye out.
392
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,389
And then you'll
be leavin' me, Gina
393
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:58,893
because me and you
can't see eye to eye.
394
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:02,022
I'm not in the laughin' mood
right now.
395
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,274
Here, everybody.
396
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:07,068
How's about a bit
of the bubbly?
397
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,362
Little bit. Just..
Ah-ah
398
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:12,157
Alright. Now, here's a toast.
399
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:16,786
To Stan and Myra,
our permanent hangout partners.
400
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,121
- Ah, yeah.
- Oh!
401
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,040
[screams]
402
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,750
- Shawn!
- Sorry, everybody.
403
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,501
I-I-I feel asleep
there for a minute
404
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,378
but that swerve
woke me up.
405
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,839
Oh, Stan.
Look at this.
406
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,549
I'm all wet.
407
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,052
Now you gonna have to
buy me a new outfit.
408
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,386
Like hell I will.
409
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,638
You already owe me 375
for your half of dinner.
410
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,392
Yo, that's 385, Stan.
She had cheese on that, man.
411
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,604
Charging me for dinner.
412
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,522
You ain't right, Stan.
413
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:47,359
Men ain't nothing,
but lowdown sleazy dogs.
414
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,527
- Ain't that right, girlfriend?
- I-I don't know.
415
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:52,238
Maybe you just haven't met
the right man yet.
416
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,199
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
417
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,159
I didn't mean you, Stan.
418
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:58,703
Well, how many men
do you think I'm seeing?
419
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,373
I-I don't know.
I r-really don't care.
420
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,542
Ah, but I do.
How many men are you seeing?
421
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:05,585
Uh-oh.
422
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,629
You don't started somethin' now,
girlfriend
423
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,381
and I know why.
424
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,926
I see the way you've been
looking at Stan all night.
425
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,011
- I was not.
- Well, why not?
426
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,805
You think
you too good for Stan?
427
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,348
- Yeah.
- Look at him.
428
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,141
Go on.
Look at him.
429
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,268
I don't wanna
look at him. Martin.
430
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:23,770
I don't wanna
look at him either.
431
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,147
Now you better stop talking
to my girl like that.
432
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,316
Oh-oh, I can talk
any kind of way I want.
433
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,567
It ain't your hearse.
434
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,569
And it ain't your hearse either.
435
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,614
Looking at your makeup,
it'll damn sure be yours soon.
436
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:38,201
Oh, now that's it. Are you gonna
let him talk to me like that?
437
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:41,287
Well, damn, Myra.
It's not like he was lyin'.
438
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,415
Oh, I really don't
have to take this.
439
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:46,292
Stop the car, Shawn.
Stop right now!
440
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,961
(Myra)
'Ow.'
441
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,922
It's either gonna be them or me.
442
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,257
It's me. It's me.
443
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,925
I'm outta here.
Martin, Martin. Uh-huh.
444
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,593
You can stay here
if you want to, Martin
445
00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,430
but look, what you need
to be doing is be at home
446
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,265
tryin' to figure out
what kind of apology
447
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,933
you're gonna say to your
friends on the radio.
448
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,310
Alright, alright, okay.
Come on, Gina. Calm down.
449
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:06,187
Alright, alright.
I'll go on the radio tomorrow
450
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,481
and I will apologize, babe,
alright?
451
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:12,527
Hang out for a little while.
It ain't that bad, Gina.
452
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,738
- Come on.
- Oh-ho-ho-ho.
453
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,281
Stan.
454
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,117
Could you crack my toes?
455
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,662
- You know how it makes me feel.
- Ooh.
456
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,081
I think I'll start
with that little pinky toe.
457
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,250
Oh, yes.
458
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,461
Hell no.
Hell no.
459
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,129
Move, babe.
I'm outta here.
460
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,506
Baby.
Baby, don't leave me!
461
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,511
What up, what up, what up.
We're back. Alright.
462
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,971
Look here,
before we wrap things up
463
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:42,265
we gonna go out
on a different note today.
464
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,392
I gotta set things straight.
465
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:45,852
I said somethin' on my show
466
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:49,022
about a friend
that I shouldn't have.
467
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,066
So to make it up..
468
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,359
[exhales]
469
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,444
...I got a little
confession to make.
470
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,157
Here we go.
471
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,742
Damn, this is hard.
472
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,161
But I'm a man,
I could do it.
473
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:07,749
This is for you,
Tommy, Cole, Pam.
474
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,711
Alright.
475
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:16,633
One night, two years ago,
before I met my girlfriend..
476
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:21,221
...I tried to sleep with
my neighbor Sheneneh.
477
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:32,440
I, uh, I went over
to her place..
478
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:36,695
...but she wouldn't even
answer the door.
479
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,988
Alright, okay.
I got it out.
480
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,783
I hope y'all are happy.
If you're not happy, go to hell.
481
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,535
Now, I got to give in
and get outta here.
482
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,413
This is Martin Payne.
See you when I see you. Peace!
483
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:49,040
[instrumental music]
484
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:54,963
Sheneneh.
Damn! Unh!
485
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,548
I can't believe
you told, man.
486
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,091
I've to hand it
to you, Martin.
487
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,927
That was a deep secret,
and I never would've guessed it.
488
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:03,555
Oh, we even now,
my brother.
489
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,726
I don't wanna talk
about it anymore.
490
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,519
Yes, please.
491
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,397
Please, let's just leave it
in the past, okay?
492
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,151
What is important is that
we are all partners again.
493
00:21:16,234 --> 00:21:17,402
(all)
Yeah.
494
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,738
- Hey, guys.
- What?
495
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,198
- Give me love.
- Alright, man.
496
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,450
- Alright.
- Alright.
497
00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:26,161
[all sigh]
498
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:28,121
Alright, so what're we gonna do?
We gonna play some cards?
499
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,998
- Strip poker.
- Shut up.
500
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:31,124
[knocking on door]
501
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,417
(Sheneneh)
'Oh, my goodness.'
502
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,003
'Martin, it's Sheneneh.
Martin, open up.'
503
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,343
'Oh, my goodness.'
504
00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,720
Baby, I didn't know.
505
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:46,765
Come on home.
You, come on home.
506
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,811
[instrumental music]
507
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,904
[theme music]
37004
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