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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:02,039 --> 00:00:04,304
Kids, by the spring of 2013,
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00:00:04,326 --> 00:00:06,059
Lily and Marshall had lifefigured out;
3
00:00:06,061 --> 00:00:09,929
Lily was making a name as theart consultant for The Captain,
4
00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:12,665
Marshall was a superstarenvironmental lawyer
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00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:16,036
and home lifewas a well-oiled machine.
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00:00:16,038 --> 00:00:17,070
And then...
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00:00:17,072 --> 00:00:18,955
something changed.
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00:00:18,957 --> 00:00:22,008
Captain, you wanted to see me?
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00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:24,327
Captain? Hello?
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00:00:24,329 --> 00:00:26,463
Permission to come aboard?
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00:00:26,465 --> 00:00:28,431
Granted.
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00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:31,718
Lily, small order of business:
I'm moving to Rome
13
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,520
and I'd like you to come
with me.
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00:00:33,522 --> 00:00:34,521
Carry on.
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00:00:34,523 --> 00:00:36,606
What?!
That-That-That's amazing,
16
00:00:36,608 --> 00:00:40,060
but I-I don't know if I can
just uproot my life.
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00:00:40,062 --> 00:00:42,062
It's only for a year.
Carry on.
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00:00:42,064 --> 00:00:43,530
But I'm married
and we have a baby
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00:00:43,532 --> 00:00:46,366
and they just opened
a Shake Shack on our block
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00:00:46,368 --> 00:00:47,767
and there's never a line!
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00:00:47,769 --> 00:00:49,035
I understand
it's a big decision.
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00:00:49,037 --> 00:00:50,453
Take all the time you need.
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00:00:50,455 --> 00:00:52,872
Just let me know
by the end of the day.
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00:00:52,874 --> 00:00:55,792
Also, I need your advice on
purchasing some luggage.
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00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,727
What kind?
Carry on.
26
00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:02,758
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x21 ♪
Romeward Bound
Original Air Date on April 15, 2013
27
00:01:02,783 --> 00:01:07,783
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
28
00:01:11,342 --> 00:01:13,426
Well, this has been fun.
I should go.
29
00:01:13,428 --> 00:01:15,228
But you literally just got here.
30
00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:16,779
I didn't "literally"
just get here.
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00:01:16,781 --> 00:01:18,481
I hate when people misuse
that word.
32
00:01:18,483 --> 00:01:21,267
So do I.
But you literally just got here.
33
00:01:21,269 --> 00:01:23,820
Hey, Ted.
34
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,805
Well, this has been fun.
I should go.
35
00:01:25,807 --> 00:01:27,940
Okay, fine, now I'm leaving.
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00:01:27,942 --> 00:01:30,042
Why do people go
to a bar, anyway?
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00:01:30,044 --> 00:01:32,778
To get your drink on
and some girl's pants off.
38
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,613
I can do both at home.
39
00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:37,900
What are you looking at?
40
00:01:37,902 --> 00:01:39,118
The girl in the big coat?
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00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,619
We were in
the same yoga class together.
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00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:44,073
You know how sometimes you'll
meet a girl and there'll be
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00:01:44,075 --> 00:01:46,225
that one bewitching little
detail that'll make you
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00:01:46,227 --> 00:01:48,294
fall in love with her instantly?
45
00:01:48,296 --> 00:01:50,463
You know, a little freckle
on the nose,
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00:01:50,465 --> 00:01:51,647
the-the lilt of her laugh,
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00:01:51,649 --> 00:01:53,966
the way she pronounces
a certain word or phrase?
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00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,801
Sure, totally.
49
00:01:55,803 --> 00:01:57,186
Well, in this girl's case,
50
00:01:57,188 --> 00:02:00,323
the bewitching little detail is
the fact
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00:02:00,325 --> 00:02:03,476
that she has
just a "redonkulous" body.
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00:02:03,478 --> 00:02:04,810
Redonkulous?
53
00:02:04,812 --> 00:02:06,028
Redonkulous!
54
00:02:06,030 --> 00:02:08,414
I've only heard you use
"redonkulous" to describe
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Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol.
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00:02:10,385 --> 00:02:11,751
Barney, this girl has
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00:02:11,753 --> 00:02:16,873
the Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol of bodies.
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00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,708
Whoa.
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00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:20,793
Just wait till she takes
that coat off.
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00:02:20,795 --> 00:02:23,829
Oh, wait, sorry, you were
just about to leave, right?
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00:02:23,831 --> 00:02:26,048
I mean, I've already paid
for this drink.
62
00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:30,303
Guys, The Captain just made me
a very interesting offer.
63
00:02:30,305 --> 00:02:32,855
Finally, we get around
to the real reason he hired you.
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00:02:32,857 --> 00:02:35,391
Just promise you film it,
and please use a tripod.
65
00:02:35,393 --> 00:02:36,526
There's nothing artistic
about shaky-cam.
66
00:02:36,528 --> 00:02:38,060
It just looks sloppy.
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00:02:38,062 --> 00:02:40,696
He wants me to move
to Rome for a year
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00:02:40,698 --> 00:02:42,114
to buy art for him.
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00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:43,282
Whoa! Seriously?
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00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,117
Is that something you want to do?
Are you kidding?
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00:02:45,119 --> 00:02:46,852
I've always wanted
to live abroad!
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00:02:46,854 --> 00:02:50,456
My summer in Paris, back in
college, was so enlightening:
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00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,859
the art, the history,
the free cheese
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00:02:53,861 --> 00:02:55,495
just for wearing
a low-cut top.
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00:02:55,497 --> 00:02:57,547
Well, how does Marshall feel
about moving?
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00:02:57,549 --> 00:02:59,048
I haven't told him yet.
77
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,866
He really loves
his job here.
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00:03:00,868 --> 00:03:02,585
Yeah, but he also
loves Italy!
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00:03:02,587 --> 00:03:04,837
He took a week
of Italian in college,
80
00:03:04,839 --> 00:03:07,006
and the only reason
he dropped it was
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00:03:07,008 --> 00:03:09,642
'cause he had a conflict...
with being not stoned.
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00:03:09,644 --> 00:03:12,762
But he still knows
how to say the phrase,
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00:03:12,764 --> 00:03:15,765
"Come on, bro, don't Bogart
all the Funyuns."
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00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:18,484
All right,
I'm gonna call him.
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00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,437
Hey, baby.
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00:03:21,439 --> 00:03:23,155
Hey, baby, I can't talk
right now.
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00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:24,690
I'm working on a big case. Bye.
88
00:03:24,692 --> 00:03:26,108
And that's when Lily realized
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00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:28,444
what moving to Romewould really mean.
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00:03:28,446 --> 00:03:30,830
♪
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00:03:56,256 --> 00:03:57,756
And before you know it...
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00:03:57,758 --> 00:03:59,308
...his life turns
into an angsty,
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00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:01,394
existential black-and-white
Italian movie.
94
00:04:01,396 --> 00:04:02,895
Exactly.
95
00:04:16,510 --> 00:04:19,245
I used to be a lawyer.
96
00:04:21,548 --> 00:04:24,884
I don't know anymore.
97
00:04:37,681 --> 00:04:40,566
I'm sorry. I got to hitpause for a second.
98
00:04:40,568 --> 00:04:42,518
Why is it so hot in here?
99
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,604
Oh, right. While you were
blabbering on and on
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00:04:44,606 --> 00:04:46,138
about your whole life crisis
or whatever,
101
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,807
I slipped Carl a hundred
to turn the heat up in here.
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00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:49,909
What? Why?
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00:04:49,911 --> 00:04:53,479
Because she is still
in the big puffy coat!
104
00:04:54,948 --> 00:04:55,831
Barney, what are
you doing?
105
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:57,316
I'm trying her out of that coat,
106
00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:58,200
that's what I'm doing!
107
00:04:58,202 --> 00:04:59,452
I'm fighting hotness
with hotness!
108
00:04:59,454 --> 00:05:00,653
You're engaged.
109
00:05:00,655 --> 00:05:03,205
Okay, Lily, clearly you're
forgetting something.
110
00:05:03,207 --> 00:05:06,425
Yes, I'm engaged
to the coolest girl on Earth.
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00:05:06,427 --> 00:05:08,260
This is about looking,
not touching.
112
00:05:08,262 --> 00:05:11,213
Robin understands there is one
set of balls she can't tie up
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00:05:11,215 --> 00:05:14,216
with a necktie and lightly hit
with a Ping-Pong paddle.
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00:05:14,218 --> 00:05:15,635
These balls.
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00:05:15,637 --> 00:05:17,169
Okay, I'm gonna call
The Captain,
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00:05:17,171 --> 00:05:19,505
get this over with.
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00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,975
Ahoy.
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00:05:22,977 --> 00:05:23,809
Hello, Captain?
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00:05:23,811 --> 00:05:26,011
Lily, I hope you're not calling
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00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:27,863
to harpoon our big move
to Rome.
121
00:05:27,865 --> 00:05:31,867
Thank you, but I can't ask my
husband to abandon his career.
122
00:05:31,869 --> 00:05:33,852
Would you like me
to try and convince him?
123
00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:35,471
I'm very persuasive.
124
00:05:35,473 --> 00:05:37,523
I'm sorry, the ship has sailed.
125
00:05:37,525 --> 00:05:39,141
What's that mean?
126
00:05:39,143 --> 00:05:42,328
Well, you know,
"The ship has sailed"?
127
00:05:42,330 --> 00:05:44,380
That it's over and there's
nothing you can do?
128
00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:46,465
What a peculiar expression. Hmm.
129
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,867
Well, thanks for all
your hard work, Lily.
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00:05:48,869 --> 00:05:50,536
I've never been good at
good-byes, so...
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00:05:52,005 --> 00:05:53,205
Well, that's that.
132
00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:55,925
My dream job as an
art consultant is over.
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00:05:55,927 --> 00:05:57,093
And the sad part...
134
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,044
Okay, I gotta stop you
right there, Lily,
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00:05:59,046 --> 00:06:02,231
'cause unless I'm mistaken,
lock and load gentlemen.
136
00:06:04,518 --> 00:06:07,553
A scarf?! No, don't put on,
take off!
137
00:06:07,555 --> 00:06:09,555
Okay, you're
starting to drool.
138
00:06:09,557 --> 00:06:11,157
I'm calling creepy.
139
00:06:11,159 --> 00:06:12,074
Lily, it's fine.
140
00:06:12,076 --> 00:06:13,559
This is purely academic.
141
00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:16,195
It's-It's like bird-watching.
142
00:06:16,197 --> 00:06:19,448
And right now, I am watching
a double-breasted-- Robin!
143
00:06:22,902 --> 00:06:24,086
Wait-- they know
each other?!
144
00:06:24,088 --> 00:06:25,504
Whoa, wait--
what is going on here?
145
00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:27,456
Oh, my God,
it's happening.
146
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,708
This is just like I imagined.
147
00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:31,761
Right in front of Ted,
so I can rub it in his face.
148
00:06:31,763 --> 00:06:32,911
The belt is mine!
149
00:06:32,913 --> 00:06:36,132
Hi, guys. Barney,
you remember Liddy.
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00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:37,916
I do?
151
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:40,136
Yes! Libby.
152
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,021
Liddy. We met
when Robin hired me.
153
00:06:42,023 --> 00:06:42,972
Robin hired you?
154
00:06:42,974 --> 00:06:44,473
Naughty girl. Okay.
155
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:46,475
Okay, so how's
this gonna go down?
156
00:06:46,477 --> 00:06:48,894
You two just gonna start,
and I'll just jump in?
157
00:06:48,896 --> 00:06:52,565
Uh, she's our
wedding planner.
158
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:55,367
Of course
she's the wedding planner!
159
00:06:55,369 --> 00:06:57,203
Good to see you again, Libby.
160
00:06:57,205 --> 00:06:58,788
Liddy.
Yeah.
161
00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:02,241
Hey, I'm Ted.
We, uh, we met once before.
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00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:04,460
Oh, right, in yoga class.
How are you?
163
00:07:04,462 --> 00:07:07,213
She's talking to me.
164
00:07:08,131 --> 00:07:09,582
Well, I would love
to stay,
165
00:07:09,584 --> 00:07:11,050
but now that
I'm unemployed,
166
00:07:11,052 --> 00:07:13,502
I think I'll go surprise
Marshall at work.
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00:07:13,504 --> 00:07:16,639
Wedding planner.
168
00:07:18,091 --> 00:07:20,626
So Lily wentto visit Marshall at work,
169
00:07:20,628 --> 00:07:22,394
hoping she wasn't interruptinganything important.
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00:07:22,396 --> 00:07:24,313
She wasn't.
171
00:07:24,315 --> 00:07:28,267
Whoa. What is going on?
172
00:07:28,269 --> 00:07:30,703
Bernard, if we just glue
the cards together...
173
00:07:30,705 --> 00:07:33,305
Lily!
What are you doing here?
174
00:07:33,307 --> 00:07:34,490
Well, I baked you brownies
175
00:07:34,492 --> 00:07:36,809
because I thought
you were busy working, but...
176
00:07:36,811 --> 00:07:38,611
so when you said...
177
00:07:38,613 --> 00:07:40,079
Lily, hey, I can't really talk.
178
00:07:40,081 --> 00:07:42,164
I'm working on a big project
right now.
179
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:43,532
It's a real house of cards.
180
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:46,585
Is this the "house of cards"
you were talking about?
181
00:07:47,804 --> 00:07:50,005
I thought you had
some big client.
182
00:07:50,007 --> 00:07:53,509
Oh, sweetheart, we haven't had
a client here in months.
183
00:07:53,511 --> 00:07:56,545
Mmm! Brownies! Hey!
184
00:08:01,892 --> 00:08:03,504
What is going on?
What do you mean
185
00:08:03,505 --> 00:08:05,507
you haven't had
a client in months?
186
00:08:05,508 --> 00:08:07,292
Ever since the Gruber case,
187
00:08:07,294 --> 00:08:09,094
we lost a lot of business,
188
00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:12,414
people got laid off...
it's just me and Bernard now.
189
00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:13,482
Where's Cootes?
190
00:08:13,484 --> 00:08:15,717
He's holed up in a bomb shelter
in Colorado,
191
00:08:15,719 --> 00:08:18,636
waiting for the apocalypse and
tending to his herb garden.
192
00:08:18,638 --> 00:08:21,806
So all those times I've called
you in the past few months,
193
00:08:21,808 --> 00:08:24,943
when you talked
about how busy you were...
194
00:08:24,945 --> 00:08:26,528
you were just lying to me?
195
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:29,030
Technically, I never lied...
196
00:08:30,449 --> 00:08:31,700
Hey, baby.
197
00:08:31,702 --> 00:08:33,335
Hey, baby, I can't talk
right now.
198
00:08:33,337 --> 00:08:35,921
I'm working on a big case. Bye.
199
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:41,826
That is a big case.
200
00:08:42,628 --> 00:08:43,595
Bad time, Lily.
201
00:08:43,597 --> 00:08:45,013
I got to focus on the client.
202
00:08:45,015 --> 00:08:46,214
Gotta go. Bye.
203
00:08:47,216 --> 00:08:48,600
Where were we?
204
00:08:48,602 --> 00:08:50,018
Chapter 19.
205
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:53,504
I can't talk right now;
I got a lot on my plate.
206
00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:55,724
Well, let's dig in.
207
00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:58,109
If we start now,
we can be done by lunch.
208
00:08:59,529 --> 00:09:00,896
Now's not a good time, Lil.
209
00:09:00,898 --> 00:09:04,316
We got a lot of balls
in the air right now.
210
00:09:04,318 --> 00:09:07,035
Okay, toss me
the stapler.
211
00:09:08,187 --> 00:09:09,905
Unbelievable.
212
00:09:09,907 --> 00:09:13,491
Wait-- when you said you were
about to get reamed...
213
00:09:13,493 --> 00:09:15,660
Oh, right. That.
214
00:09:15,662 --> 00:09:16,878
No, sometimes, for fun,
215
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,997
We throw reams of paper
at each other.
216
00:09:18,999 --> 00:09:22,083
Bernard! Not a good time!
217
00:09:22,085 --> 00:09:24,669
Read the room!
218
00:09:24,671 --> 00:09:26,755
I'm sorry, baby, I...
219
00:09:26,757 --> 00:09:28,974
I didn't want you
to see me fail.
220
00:09:28,976 --> 00:09:32,844
Damn it! Do you realize what you
cost us by lying to me?
221
00:09:32,846 --> 00:09:34,479
The Captain is moving
to Rome,
222
00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:37,515
and he offered to bring me along
as his art consultant,
223
00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:40,185
but I turned it down, because
I thought you loved your job.
224
00:09:40,187 --> 00:09:42,070
Oh, my gosh.
225
00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:43,738
If we lived in Italy,
226
00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:46,074
I could just spend my days
taking care of Marvin
227
00:09:46,076 --> 00:09:50,228
and trying to make pasta and
watching Italian Price Is Right.
228
00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:51,780
It sounds like a dream!
229
00:09:51,782 --> 00:09:52,747
Oh, it's too late.
230
00:09:52,749 --> 00:09:54,232
No, no. Lily, I'm going
231
00:09:54,234 --> 00:09:55,617
to The Captain's right now!
232
00:09:55,619 --> 00:09:57,168
I'm gonna make this right!
233
00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:58,253
I'm gonna get
you that job!
234
00:09:58,255 --> 00:10:00,455
No, Marshall...
You're getting that job!
235
00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:02,908
You can just make it out
to Liddy Gates.
236
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,843
That's L-I-D-D-Y.
237
00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:06,544
L-I, two D's...
238
00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:07,745
double D...
239
00:10:07,747 --> 00:10:10,265
two D's... -Y.
240
00:10:10,267 --> 00:10:12,884
Well, here is the final
menu, as we discussed,
241
00:10:12,886 --> 00:10:14,135
but let me be clear.
242
00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:15,804
You're the boss;
I'm here to serve you.
243
00:10:15,806 --> 00:10:17,806
So if there's anything
you want me to remove,
244
00:10:17,808 --> 00:10:19,724
just tell me to remove it
and it's gone.
245
00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:21,443
I'll remove
anything you want.
246
00:10:21,445 --> 00:10:23,061
That sounds like a sound policy.
Up to you, whatever you feel like.
247
00:10:23,063 --> 00:10:24,229
That's a good...
That's a good thing to know.
248
00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:26,032
That's fine, you can
remove whatever you want.
249
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:28,433
I'm serious, and I won't be
offended; you want it gone,
250
00:10:28,435 --> 00:10:30,902
I'll take it right off.
Is it hot in here?
251
00:10:30,904 --> 00:10:32,570
It's not cold.
You know what?
252
00:10:32,572 --> 00:10:34,239
It's hot; it's sticky.
It's not... It's like
253
00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:35,940
Bikram, right?
254
00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:37,409
We're yoga buddies.
255
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,961
♪ Yoga buddies.
256
00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:43,548
Well, I'll let you
guys read the menu.
257
00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:45,717
- Can you point me to the...
- Coat rack?
258
00:10:45,719 --> 00:10:46,918
...restroom?
259
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,803
Uh, it's right over there.
260
00:10:48,805 --> 00:10:50,972
But it's hard to pee
in a giant coat.
261
00:10:52,174 --> 00:10:53,425
Okay, what's going on?
262
00:10:53,427 --> 00:10:54,843
Why are you guys being
so weird?
263
00:10:54,845 --> 00:10:58,930
Ted says that Liddy has
a ridonkulous body,
264
00:10:58,932 --> 00:10:59,665
but there's no way of
verifying
265
00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:01,517
because she
won't take off the coat!
266
00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,101
Is that why
it's so hot in here?
267
00:11:03,103 --> 00:11:05,387
Did you pay Carl
to turn up the heat again?
268
00:11:05,389 --> 00:11:07,489
Well, yes.
269
00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:09,658
But I was curious.
270
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,443
I want to get that
coat on the rack
271
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:13,328
so I can see the rack
that's under the coat.
272
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:14,579
My God.
273
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:17,615
I have been wondering
274
00:11:17,617 --> 00:11:19,284
the same thing.
275
00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:21,202
I mean, she never takes
that coat off.
276
00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:22,537
Whatever she's smuggling
under there
277
00:11:22,539 --> 00:11:23,988
has to be thermonuclear.
278
00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:26,791
I bet she has WBDs.
279
00:11:27,460 --> 00:11:29,044
Weapons of bra destruction.
280
00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:30,661
Thank you.
281
00:11:30,663 --> 00:11:32,047
This, this is why
282
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:34,265
you're the coolest
fiancée ever.
283
00:11:36,269 --> 00:11:40,505
So, Ted, when you
say ridonkulous...
284
00:11:40,507 --> 00:11:42,190
I can't even describe it.
285
00:11:42,192 --> 00:11:45,860
It'd be like trying to explain
a rainbow to a blind person.
286
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:47,512
Is she single?
287
00:11:47,514 --> 00:11:48,679
Why don't you ask her out?
288
00:11:48,681 --> 00:11:51,533
Actually, I almost did
the first time we met,
289
00:11:51,535 --> 00:11:54,953
before she took off that coat.
290
00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:56,187
Sandstorm?
291
00:11:56,189 --> 00:11:58,490
Dubai? That hoodie?
292
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,041
I mean, it's ridonkulous.
293
00:12:00,043 --> 00:12:02,043
Oh, I know.
I so want to see it again.
294
00:12:02,045 --> 00:12:03,611
Well, hey, I mean,
maybe after this,
295
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:04,796
if you're not doing anything.
296
00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:06,197
Totally, and maybe later,
297
00:12:06,199 --> 00:12:07,532
we could get a bite to eat.
298
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:09,884
There's this great place
that's super close.
299
00:12:11,804 --> 00:12:12,754
No, I...
300
00:12:12,756 --> 00:12:14,055
No, I... No.
301
00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:15,640
It was just too much.
302
00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:18,760
Indiana Jones wouldn't look
at this body.
303
00:12:18,762 --> 00:12:22,347
This is a body
that would melt a Nazi's face.
304
00:12:22,349 --> 00:12:25,817
Oh, man, I want
my face to melt.
305
00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:28,386
It's too bad
Marshall isn't here.
306
00:12:28,388 --> 00:12:29,788
Why Marshall?
307
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,055
'Cause he could just say...
308
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:32,123
Hey, Liddy,
309
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:33,908
why don't you take
off that coat?
310
00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:35,026
And Liddy would be all...
311
00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:36,611
Sure, should I take
my shirt off, too?
312
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,029
No, the coat's
probably enough.
313
00:12:38,781 --> 00:12:40,081
And he'd get away with it.
314
00:12:40,083 --> 00:12:41,866
You know why? No stink.
315
00:12:41,868 --> 00:12:44,953
You obviously haven't split
a cab with him after basketball.
316
00:12:45,671 --> 00:12:46,737
No, I don't mean
317
00:12:46,739 --> 00:12:47,789
"physical stink."
318
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,073
I mean the pheromonal stink
319
00:12:49,075 --> 00:12:51,509
a guy gives off when
he's desperate for action
320
00:12:51,511 --> 00:12:52,794
to a pathetic degree.
321
00:12:52,796 --> 00:12:54,412
You know, like Ted.
322
00:12:54,414 --> 00:12:55,580
I have stink?
323
00:12:55,582 --> 00:12:57,465
Bro, you dipped in stink.
324
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:59,384
If Liddy came back to
the table and you said...
325
00:12:59,386 --> 00:13:00,468
Uh, Liddy,
326
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,587
why don't you, uh,
take off that coat?
327
00:13:02,589 --> 00:13:03,754
You want me to take my coat off?
328
00:13:03,756 --> 00:13:05,390
How about instead,
I take off your face?
329
00:13:05,392 --> 00:13:06,591
Ow!
330
00:13:06,593 --> 00:13:07,725
Ow, oh!
331
00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:08,893
Really?
332
00:13:08,895 --> 00:13:10,612
You had to have her beat me up?
333
00:13:10,614 --> 00:13:11,896
She's not done, Ted.
334
00:13:11,898 --> 00:13:13,548
Ghost Protocol
335
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,933
wasn't that good!
336
00:13:17,137 --> 00:13:18,570
Marshall, on the other hand,
337
00:13:18,572 --> 00:13:20,872
girls take one
look and just know
338
00:13:20,874 --> 00:13:23,708
there's a guy who's met
the girl of his dreams
339
00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:25,710
and wants to spend
the rest of his life
340
00:13:25,712 --> 00:13:27,295
with her and only her.
341
00:13:27,297 --> 00:13:28,913
So why don't you ask her?
342
00:13:28,915 --> 00:13:30,114
Pardon me?
343
00:13:30,116 --> 00:13:31,049
Aren't you
344
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:32,383
a guy who's met
345
00:13:32,385 --> 00:13:34,252
the girl of his dreams
and wants to spend
346
00:13:34,254 --> 00:13:36,954
the rest of his life with her
and only her?
347
00:13:36,956 --> 00:13:39,757
Of course, baby.
348
00:13:39,759 --> 00:13:42,310
So why don't you ask her
to take her coat off?
349
00:13:44,814 --> 00:13:46,981
Um...
350
00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:51,603
And you never even
saw Ghost Protocol.
351
00:13:52,605 --> 00:13:54,272
So, the big day's
coming up.
352
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:56,357
How are you guys feeling?
353
00:13:56,359 --> 00:13:57,692
I talked to the caterer,
354
00:13:57,694 --> 00:13:59,744
and the mini lamb shanks
are gonna be amazing.
355
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:00,778
Oh, by the way,
356
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,363
I talked to the florist,
and the violets
357
00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:04,282
- are gonna be gorgeous.
- Okay, Barney. You can do this.
358
00:14:04,284 --> 00:14:05,834
Just say it. Say it.
359
00:14:05,836 --> 00:14:07,252
...little ones and big ones...
360
00:14:07,254 --> 00:14:08,503
Say it.
361
00:14:08,505 --> 00:14:11,789
Hey, Liddy, do you want
to take off your coat?
362
00:14:16,595 --> 00:14:18,329
Sure.
363
00:14:18,331 --> 00:14:20,849
I did it! I proved to myselfand everyone else
364
00:14:20,851 --> 00:14:23,268
that I have no desireto be with any other woman.
365
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,854
I am completely immuneto every other...
366
00:14:28,107 --> 00:14:30,141
Holy crap!
367
00:14:33,196 --> 00:14:34,312
And it was, indeed,
368
00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:35,446
ridonkulous.
369
00:14:35,448 --> 00:14:38,149
And we got to see it,
all thanks
370
00:14:38,151 --> 00:14:39,567
to this lovely lady
right here.
371
00:14:39,569 --> 00:14:42,704
Robin, thanks to you,
I can now walk up to any girl
372
00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:45,123
and say whatever creepy,
disgusting thing I want
373
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,457
and totally get away with it.
374
00:14:46,459 --> 00:14:47,525
Mm.
Man!
375
00:14:47,527 --> 00:14:49,827
I think I'm gonna
like being married.
376
00:14:51,665 --> 00:14:52,697
Hello?
377
00:14:53,449 --> 00:14:54,799
Ahoy.
378
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,200
Ahoy, Lily.
379
00:14:56,202 --> 00:14:58,086
I just had a long talk
with your husband.
380
00:14:58,088 --> 00:15:00,922
He convinced me to offer you
that job in Rome again.
381
00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:02,473
How do you respond?
382
00:15:02,475 --> 00:15:07,262
Thanks,
but the answer is still no.
383
00:15:12,943 --> 00:15:16,005
Lily, why the hell did you
turn that down again.
384
00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:19,278
Because I 'd have to get
a new passport photo.
385
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,874
And I'd miss out
on New York in August.
386
00:15:21,899 --> 00:15:24,301
Unless they open
the Shake Shop in a box.
387
00:15:24,326 --> 00:15:26,650
Lily, what's
the real reason?
388
00:15:27,879 --> 00:15:29,757
What if we moved to Rome...
389
00:15:38,221 --> 00:15:39,618
What's so funny?
390
00:15:39,643 --> 00:15:40,781
I'm uh sorry.
391
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:44,537
I can't believe you paid a
10 million euro this painting.
392
00:15:44,562 --> 00:15:45,462
Why not?
393
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,855
This is not even a painting.
394
00:15:47,095 --> 00:15:49,491
I spin my plate, it's gonna
fill a blank canvas.
395
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:51,981
It's like a toilet.
396
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,467
It just make you look uh
397
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,182
stupida.
398
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,169
Lily, you're fired.
What?
399
00:15:58,194 --> 00:16:00,608
But no. I-I...it's still
a great painting.
400
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:03,448
I like what it says about
the structure in society
401
00:16:03,473 --> 00:16:04,954
and the changing
worlds of women.
402
00:16:16,117 --> 00:16:18,816
I used to be
an art consultant.
403
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,874
Hey baby. It's time for
Marvin's, uh, bottle.
404
00:16:31,193 --> 00:16:33,527
And it's all because
I screwed up and through away
405
00:16:33,552 --> 00:16:35,723
a perfectly comfortable
life here in New York.
406
00:16:35,748 --> 00:16:37,753
Lily, you're not going
to screw up.
407
00:16:37,802 --> 00:16:38,952
You know what, just please,
408
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,269
just leave it alone.
409
00:16:40,271 --> 00:16:41,454
Besides,
410
00:16:41,456 --> 00:16:42,706
deep down, I don't think
411
00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,549
Marshall's even excited
about Italy.
412
00:16:44,574 --> 00:16:46,785
At that very momentin little Italy.
413
00:17:03,277 --> 00:17:05,895
Marron!
414
00:17:05,897 --> 00:17:07,814
I can't wait for
my wedding day.
415
00:17:07,816 --> 00:17:09,683
I mean, there is no way
416
00:17:09,685 --> 00:17:12,652
that Liddy is gonna be wearing
that coat, right?
417
00:17:12,654 --> 00:17:13,737
Right?
418
00:17:13,739 --> 00:17:15,655
"Barney Stinson, do you hope
419
00:17:15,657 --> 00:17:17,857
she wears something slinky
and backless?"
420
00:17:17,859 --> 00:17:20,160
"I do."
421
00:17:21,278 --> 00:17:24,581
Okay, can I just say something
as your best man?
422
00:17:25,249 --> 00:17:26,533
Be careful.
423
00:17:26,535 --> 00:17:27,817
What do you mean?
424
00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:29,669
You just... you haven't
been acting like a guy
425
00:17:29,671 --> 00:17:31,988
who's about to get married,
and I know you think it's okay
426
00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,840
because Robin's so cool,
but I'm telling you,
427
00:17:33,842 --> 00:17:36,492
she's not as cool
as you think she is.
428
00:17:36,494 --> 00:17:39,112
Oh, I see.
429
00:17:39,114 --> 00:17:41,131
And you'd know this
430
00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:43,332
because you know Robin
better than I do.
431
00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,836
You know what she appreciates
better than her own fiancé.
432
00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:47,837
I'm just saying,
433
00:17:47,839 --> 00:17:49,355
if I was getting married
in three weeks...
434
00:17:49,357 --> 00:17:51,024
But you're not getting married
in three weeks, Ted.
435
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,308
I am.
436
00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:54,561
Robin's marrying me, not you.
437
00:17:56,397 --> 00:17:58,148
You're right.
438
00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,783
Not my place.
439
00:17:59,785 --> 00:18:01,818
Why don't I get the next round?
440
00:18:07,074 --> 00:18:10,994
So... how many times are you
gonna say no to your dream job?
441
00:18:10,996 --> 00:18:12,929
I'm just trying
to plan my day.
442
00:18:12,931 --> 00:18:15,131
I'm a scaredy-cat, okay?
443
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:16,499
I want to be the type
444
00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:18,534
of person that
just charges fearlessly
445
00:18:18,536 --> 00:18:20,170
into the unknown,
446
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:22,472
but I came back
two weeks early from Paris
447
00:18:22,474 --> 00:18:24,007
because I was lonely.
448
00:18:24,009 --> 00:18:25,058
I went to San Francisco,
449
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:29,212
and I was never more depressed
in my life.
450
00:18:30,314 --> 00:18:32,232
I'm small town, Marshall.
451
00:18:32,234 --> 00:18:35,218
I'm a hick from Brooklyn
who's terrified of living
452
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:38,855
more than ten subway stops
from where I was born.
453
00:18:38,857 --> 00:18:42,075
Okay, Lily, if I can move
from St. Cloud, Minnesota,
454
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,693
to New York City,
455
00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:45,728
then you can move to Rome.
456
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:48,498
We know nothing about Italy.
457
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,749
We have no friends there.
458
00:18:49,751 --> 00:18:51,400
We don't speak the language.
459
00:18:55,539 --> 00:18:58,091
Okay, so you know
that one sentence.
460
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,575
Can you say anything else?
461
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,416
That-that was the same sentence.
462
00:19:07,418 --> 00:19:09,752
You just changed the inflection.
463
00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:51,995
I love you, too.
464
00:19:51,997 --> 00:19:54,297
All right.
465
00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:55,431
We're going to Italy.
466
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:57,317
Si!
467
00:19:58,435 --> 00:20:00,303
You may not know this yet,
but, um,
468
00:20:00,305 --> 00:20:02,822
I've already done some shopping.
469
00:20:13,221 --> 00:20:15,256
Welcome home.
470
00:20:17,042 --> 00:20:21,467
Oh... You are so cool,
471
00:20:24,210 --> 00:20:25,363
but not for long.
472
00:20:25,364 --> 00:20:30,363
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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