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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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NARRATOR: Kids, I'll never forget
the first time
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00:00:04,012 --> 00:00:05,679
I told your mother I loved her.
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00:00:05,681 --> 00:00:07,697
It was a rainy day in New York.
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We just had a horrible lunch.
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The movie we wanted to seewas sold out,
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00:00:11,019 --> 00:00:12,102
and I just looked at her
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and said, "I love you."
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It was a big deal for me.
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I hadn't said thatto a girl since...
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00:00:19,027 --> 00:00:20,811
I love you, Robin.
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I'm serious.
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00:00:24,515 --> 00:00:27,317
Do you remember why we
broke up in the first place?
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00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,618
We asked each other,
"Where do you want
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00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:29,770
to be in five years?"
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00:00:29,772 --> 00:00:32,989
And our answerswere just too different.
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00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,357
Well, it's
five years later,
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00:00:34,359 --> 00:00:37,544
and where are we?
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Standing on the roof
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where I kissed youfor the first time.
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00:00:43,468 --> 00:00:46,303
I know this is
a lot to process,
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so no pressure here.
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Just... what do you think?
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You know what?
You're exhausted, it's late.
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Let's just go to sleep.
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Well, good night.
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TED (to self):
What the hell was that?
27
00:01:01,987 --> 00:01:03,487
Okay, I can fix this.
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I-I was just temporarily insane
because of my Lyme disease,
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00:01:07,709 --> 00:01:12,712
which I got on a camping tripthat I didn't tell her about
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because... I go campingin secret.
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Perfect.
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Or I could say, "I'm sorry,we're great as friends.
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Let's just forgetI ever said anything."
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Yeah, that's probably better.
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Okay, here goes.
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(sighs)
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I go camping in secret.
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♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x17 ♪
No Pressure
Original Air Date on February 20, 2012
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
40
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Wow, Ted, I...
wow, okay.
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You got to give
me a minute here.
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00:02:01,212 --> 00:02:04,580
This time yesterday,
I was in Vermont
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00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,049
engaged to another man.
46
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I mean, it's been 24 hours
of emotional mayhem,
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and, and the day
is still not over.
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I mean, I swear
to God,
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if there's any more surprises,
I'm gonna hit someone!
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00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,309
(knocking)
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00:02:16,311 --> 00:02:18,961
(speaking Russian)... comrade.
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That means,
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00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,982
"Hello, coworker."
54
00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:24,967
You ready for our trip
to Mother Russia?
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00:02:24,969 --> 00:02:27,870
NARRATOR: Oh, yeah, Aunt Robinwas thrilled World Wide News
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00:02:27,872 --> 00:02:29,822
asked her to go to Moscowto cover Maslenitsa.
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She was less thrilledto discover
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Maslenitsa is the city'sannual butter festival.
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00:02:34,245 --> 00:02:36,746
Even worse, she'd spendan entire week with all those
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00:02:36,748 --> 00:02:40,400
buttery Russiansand her archenemy Patrice.
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00:02:40,402 --> 00:02:44,854
Uh, our flight leaves
at 9:00 p.m., not a.m.
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00:02:44,856 --> 00:02:47,540
God... Patrice!
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00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,658
But, Robin,
the schedule says 9:00 a.m.
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00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,377
and my ticket says 9:00 a.m.
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00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,513
and all the e-mail reminders
said 9:00 a.m.
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00:02:53,515 --> 00:02:55,381
and our boss in the car
downstairs said...
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00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,682
Okay, Patrice, I get it!
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00:02:56,684 --> 00:02:57,850
Oh, no!
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00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,469
Pair of pants
coming in hot!
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00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:00,686
Noise-canceling
headphones.
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00:03:00,688 --> 00:03:02,138
Oh, I don't need 'em.
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00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,223
It's a ten-hour flight and
your sitting next to Patrice.
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00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,675
Oh, God,
where's my cough syrup?
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You're gonna make it.
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00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,011
I'll bring
your bag down.
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00:03:09,013 --> 00:03:10,696
Where are my shoes?
Where are my shoes?!
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Don't worry. It's fine.
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And look, about all this...
Just go.
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Good-bye.
Bye.
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Why didn't I kiss her?
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We'll continue this
when I get back.
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(phone rings)
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Hello.
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I know it's early,
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00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,591
but can you meet me
at the bar right now, alone?
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I'm on my way.
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00:03:40,044 --> 00:03:41,561
I got to meet Ted
at the bar.
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00:03:41,563 --> 00:03:43,095
It's 7:00 a.m.
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00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:47,099
Man, Ted really needs to work
on his boundaries.
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00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,218
Shh, guys, seriously.
(gasps)
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(both scream)
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00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,488
Why are you in our bed?
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00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:55,741
I took the drunk train
and got stuck out here.
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00:03:55,743 --> 00:03:58,227
Oh, God, I am so hungover.
95
00:03:58,229 --> 00:04:01,030
Oh, God,
Lily's not wearing a bra!
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00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,448
Shh!
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Bye, baby.
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00:04:06,236 --> 00:04:07,837
Do you think...?
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00:04:07,839 --> 00:04:09,589
Okay, I already know
I don't want to hear this.
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00:04:09,591 --> 00:04:11,424
Do you think
that if we did it...
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00:04:11,426 --> 00:04:13,242
Yeah, I was right.
I don't want to hear this.
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00:04:13,244 --> 00:04:15,261
...and I did
a really good job...
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00:04:15,263 --> 00:04:16,512
Please leave.
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00:04:16,514 --> 00:04:20,416
...that I could turn that
into my baby?
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00:04:20,418 --> 00:04:22,751
I think I'm gonna throw up.
106
00:04:22,753 --> 00:04:25,471
Morning sickness?
No.
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00:04:27,608 --> 00:04:29,075
It's crazy, right?
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00:04:29,077 --> 00:04:30,226
Are you shocked?
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00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,478
No, I'm not shocked.
You're in love with Robin.
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00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:33,779
Do you remember back
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00:04:33,781 --> 00:04:35,931
at Christmas when she was upset,
you didn't even know why,
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00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:38,401
and you spent eight hourssetting up Christmas lights
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00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,269
in the apartmentjust to cheer her up.
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00:04:40,271 --> 00:04:42,438
That was a platonic friend thing.
A platonic friend thing?
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Really? Ted,
let me ask you a question.
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Would you have done that for me?
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00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,745
You probably would have.
You're such a good friend, Ted.
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You, too, buddy.
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I'm going into the city.
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Just, while I'm gone,
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don't go snooping around
in our stuff.
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I know you think we have
a sex tape hidden somewhere,
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00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:03,693
so I'll save you the trouble.
We don't. Good-bye.
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00:05:03,695 --> 00:05:07,463
Here's that momentfrom Barney's perspective.
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00:05:07,465 --> 00:05:09,298
(garbled voice)
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00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,567
We have a sex tape hidden
somewhere.
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00:05:11,569 --> 00:05:14,153
(garbled voice)
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00:05:15,405 --> 00:05:18,891
Challenge accepted.
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00:05:18,893 --> 00:05:21,110
Robin again?
130
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,412
Why does everyone
keep going after Robin?
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00:05:23,414 --> 00:05:25,948
How come no one
ever takes a run at me?
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Barney hits on you every day.
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00:05:27,318 --> 00:05:29,252
Yeah, but he just wants
to bang me.
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00:05:29,254 --> 00:05:30,486
I want something real.
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00:05:30,488 --> 00:05:32,455
I know, babe.
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00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,423
(over phone):
Double A Cleaning.
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00:05:34,425 --> 00:05:35,491
Consuela, it's Barney.
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00:05:35,493 --> 00:05:37,826
I need you and the girls
for the afternoon.
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00:05:37,828 --> 00:05:39,428
Of course, right away,
Mr. Barney.
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00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:40,546
Are you at home now?
141
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,181
No, I'm at a house
on Long Island.
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00:05:42,183 --> 00:05:43,382
I'll text you the details.
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00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,935
It's a big job.
The place has been ransacked.
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00:05:45,937 --> 00:05:47,803
We'll get right on it.
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00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,305
Thanks, Consuela,
you're the best.
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00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:55,394
Ted, I know
you're ready to go
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00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,179
with this whole
you-and-Robin thing,
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00:05:57,181 --> 00:05:58,614
but is she ready
to go?
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00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:01,701
Is she ready to go? Um...
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00:06:05,238 --> 00:06:08,157
(sultry):
Mmm, we'll continue this...
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00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,209
when I get back.
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00:06:12,195 --> 00:06:14,630
So...
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00:06:14,632 --> 00:06:16,532
Are you sure
that it wasn't...?
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00:06:19,869 --> 00:06:22,672
We'll continue this
when I get back.
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00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,307
Okay.
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00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:29,261
What?! No!
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00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:32,014
Damn it, Lily,
why are you rooting against me?
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00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,349
I'm not rooting
against you.
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00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,100
Yes, you are.
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00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,217
No, I'm not.
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00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:36,502
Yes, she was.
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00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:38,554
You see, at that very moment...
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00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:46,612
"Long-term bets"?
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00:06:52,202 --> 00:06:54,286
(reading)
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00:06:56,039 --> 00:06:57,456
Hmm.
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00:07:11,555 --> 00:07:15,808
My God! They're placing bets
on our lives.
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00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,028
And I'm sorry,
Ted cannot pull off bald.
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00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:20,813
You know Ted.
I'm right about this.
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00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,932
(laughs)
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00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:27,319
Ted, I'm your best friend.
Why would I root against you?
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00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:31,490
Lily bets Marshall that Ted
and Robin won't end up together.
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NARRATOR:
That's why.
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NARRATOR: So, Lily was betting againstme and Robin.
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I just didn't know it.
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00:07:39,813 --> 00:07:42,097
Okay, you want to make
it work with Robin?
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00:07:42,099 --> 00:07:44,232
You need to stay
on her radar.
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00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:46,184
Call her right now.
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00:07:46,186 --> 00:07:47,652
She's on the plane.
Her phone's off.
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00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:49,404
(gasps)
Oh, my God!
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00:07:49,406 --> 00:07:52,324
How adorable would it be
if when the plane lands,
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00:07:52,326 --> 00:07:53,441
she turns on her phone
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00:07:53,443 --> 00:07:56,361
and her mailbox is full
of messages from you?!
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00:07:56,363 --> 00:07:57,779
(squeals)
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00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,425
Ted, don't leave
her any voice mails.
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00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:01,000
Why not?
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00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:03,484
Because...
Because you need to go to Russia.
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00:08:03,486 --> 00:08:04,869
(gasps)
With love!
188
00:08:04,871 --> 00:08:06,121
Surprise her.
189
00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:08,123
Make the--
in no way creepy--
190
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:12,994
grand romantic gesture
that we all know Robin loves.
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00:08:12,996 --> 00:08:14,963
Oh!
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00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:17,432
So I just walk up to her
in Red Square
193
00:08:17,434 --> 00:08:18,667
with a dozen roses?
194
00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:21,302
Or float down to her
195
00:08:21,304 --> 00:08:23,054
in my hot air balloon
196
00:08:23,056 --> 00:08:25,357
with ten dozen roses!
197
00:08:25,359 --> 00:08:28,509
Yes, that's perfect!
198
00:08:28,511 --> 00:08:29,728
Not like this, Lily.
199
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,345
Not like this.
200
00:08:31,347 --> 00:08:34,682
If you'll excuse me,
I've got some sonnets to write.
201
00:08:34,684 --> 00:08:37,185
Stay put, Ted.
You're gonna want to hear this.
202
00:08:38,988 --> 00:08:40,789
Guys, what's this?
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00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,857
NARRATOR: And Marshall and Lilyexplained.
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00:08:42,859 --> 00:08:44,843
It all started ten yearsearlier.
205
00:08:44,845 --> 00:08:46,678
They had been lookingfor a new hobby
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00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,413
they could do as a couple.
207
00:08:48,415 --> 00:08:51,032
I already missed
the beginner's lesson.
208
00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:52,634
Maybe I shouldn't even go.
209
00:08:53,836 --> 00:08:55,053
Ah, screw it.
210
00:08:55,055 --> 00:08:57,472
I've seen the Olympics.
I know what I'm doing.
211
00:08:57,474 --> 00:08:59,674
I'm going skiing, bitches!
212
00:09:09,602 --> 00:09:12,387
(loud crashing)
213
00:09:12,389 --> 00:09:13,855
He's gonna break
his leg.
214
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,323
He's not gonna
break his leg.
215
00:09:15,325 --> 00:09:16,908
20 bucks says he does.
216
00:09:20,529 --> 00:09:22,547
"Lily bets Marshall
217
00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:26,451
that Ted
will break his leg skiing."
218
00:09:30,873 --> 00:09:33,024
You would be amazed.
219
00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:36,027
People fall off ski lifts
all the time.
220
00:09:36,029 --> 00:09:38,746
Well, I gotta hit the head.
221
00:09:38,748 --> 00:09:41,099
(grunts)
222
00:09:43,969 --> 00:09:48,022
Well, he didn't
break his leg.
223
00:09:48,024 --> 00:09:50,258
Yeah, I gotta say that, um,
224
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:53,645
making money off this bet
just makes me feel...
225
00:09:53,647 --> 00:09:55,246
More alive than
you've felt in years?
226
00:09:55,248 --> 00:09:57,265
Yes!
New hobby!
227
00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:58,933
(both yelling)
228
00:09:58,935 --> 00:10:01,786
We need a cash box,
some glitter and some glue!
229
00:10:01,788 --> 00:10:04,322
You've been
betting on us?
230
00:10:04,324 --> 00:10:06,241
Like we're a
couple of hobos
231
00:10:06,243 --> 00:10:07,792
fighting over
a sandwich
232
00:10:07,794 --> 00:10:10,278
in some psycho preppy
kid's backyard?
233
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,664
No, this is just
what happens in marriage.
234
00:10:12,666 --> 00:10:13,631
You get bored.
235
00:10:13,633 --> 00:10:15,333
You run out
of things to do.
236
00:10:15,335 --> 00:10:16,784
We were making models.
237
00:10:16,786 --> 00:10:18,503
You single people
are out there
238
00:10:18,505 --> 00:10:20,922
with the drinking
and the sleeping around...
239
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,257
Model airplanes.
240
00:10:22,259 --> 00:10:24,458
The grinding
and the bumping
241
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,294
and the hot sweaty bodies.
242
00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:28,629
...with little propellers
that spin.
243
00:10:28,631 --> 00:10:30,565
Oh, this one looks
interesting.
244
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:32,633
Lily, I thought you said
you wanted to.
245
00:10:32,635 --> 00:10:33,852
It was your idea.
246
00:10:33,854 --> 00:10:37,238
I starved myself for a week
to get camera-ready.
247
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,040
You had a bear claw
for breakfast.
248
00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:41,242
Yeah, a bear claw.
249
00:10:41,244 --> 00:10:43,477
I-I changed my mind.
250
00:10:43,479 --> 00:10:47,481
I-I just don't want Barney
to see us doing it.
251
00:10:47,483 --> 00:10:49,284
Barney is never gonna see this.
252
00:10:49,286 --> 00:10:51,485
Oh, come on. It's Barney.
253
00:10:51,487 --> 00:10:54,339
Eventually,
somehow he's gonna see it.
254
00:10:54,341 --> 00:10:55,523
Want to bet?
255
00:10:55,525 --> 00:11:00,378
So there really is a sex tape.
256
00:11:06,969 --> 00:11:10,438
Anyhoozles,
just... long-term bets,
257
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,273
just a silly thing we do.
258
00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:13,507
What about you, Ted?
259
00:11:13,509 --> 00:11:15,676
Your hair's looking good.
260
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:18,229
"Lily bets Marshall
that Ted and Robin
261
00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:19,781
won't end up together."
262
00:11:21,016 --> 00:11:22,951
Wow.
263
00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:25,570
So now it's
becoming clear why...
264
00:11:25,572 --> 00:11:28,122
you've been trying to sabotage
my future happiness.
265
00:11:28,124 --> 00:11:29,541
To win a bet.
266
00:11:29,543 --> 00:11:30,708
Come on, Ted.
267
00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,827
We made that bet
so long ago.
268
00:11:32,829 --> 00:11:36,748
And boy, it's been
a real nail-biter.
269
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:39,217
Ted and Stella
got engaged.
270
00:11:39,219 --> 00:11:40,385
Pay up.
271
00:11:40,387 --> 00:11:41,870
Not yet.
272
00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:43,871
We are driving
to the wedding.
273
00:11:43,873 --> 00:11:45,206
Pay up.
274
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:47,208
Not yet.
275
00:11:48,377 --> 00:11:51,012
We are at the wedding.
276
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,046
Pay up.
277
00:11:52,048 --> 00:11:53,714
Not yet.
278
00:11:56,435 --> 00:11:58,836
Damn it.
279
00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:00,688
I can't believe you guys!
280
00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:01,940
I got left at the alter,
281
00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:03,775
and all you cared about
was some stupid bet?
282
00:12:03,777 --> 00:12:06,527
I never stopped rooting
for you, but I...
283
00:12:06,529 --> 00:12:08,529
Ted, I'm not rooting
against you.
284
00:12:08,531 --> 00:12:10,865
I just don't think Robin's
the girl you marry.
285
00:12:10,867 --> 00:12:13,534
That's why I made
the stupid bet to begin with.
286
00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:15,670
I mean, yes,
it's five years later,
287
00:12:15,672 --> 00:12:17,538
and you haven't settled down
with anyone else,
288
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:20,525
but you haven't settled down
with Robin, either.
289
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:22,877
There must be
a reason for that.
290
00:12:22,879 --> 00:12:24,762
What's standing
in the way?
291
00:12:26,048 --> 00:12:28,249
(frustrated muttering)
292
00:12:32,221 --> 00:12:33,438
God...
293
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,524
if you help me find
this sex tape,
294
00:12:36,526 --> 00:12:38,860
I am going to make
some changes in my life.
295
00:12:38,862 --> 00:12:41,362
I am going to stop
sleeping around,
296
00:12:41,364 --> 00:12:44,148
quit drinking so much,
no more shenanigans.
297
00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:46,818
I am going to devote
my entire life
298
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:50,538
to doing good deeds,
and praising your name.
299
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:52,773
Is this what you're
looking for, Mr. Barney?
300
00:12:54,410 --> 00:12:56,127
Never mind, bro. Found it.
301
00:12:58,130 --> 00:12:59,881
I found it!
302
00:12:59,883 --> 00:13:03,084
Sweet glory hallelujah,
I found it, Ted.
303
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,453
You're the only idiot I know
who still owns a VCR,
304
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:07,121
so you are
the lucky winner of the
305
00:13:07,123 --> 00:13:09,623
"Who gets to sit next to me
and watch our best friends
306
00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,726
go bananas all over each other""
sweepstakes.
307
00:13:11,728 --> 00:13:14,812
To the outdated
viewing device!
308
00:13:14,814 --> 00:13:16,764
NARRATOR: And then I realizedwhy Robin and I
309
00:13:16,766 --> 00:13:19,233
hadn't gotten back togetherin the last five years.
310
00:13:19,235 --> 00:13:21,486
Oh, my God.
311
00:13:21,488 --> 00:13:23,338
Robin's in love with you.
312
00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:31,810
I can't believe
I didn't see it before.
313
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:33,510
Robin is in love with you.
314
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:35,946
No, she's not.
Trust me.
315
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:37,414
Yes, she is.
316
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,599
Something happened
between you guys.
317
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,251
That's why
you broke up with Nora.
318
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:44,104
That night,
I saw you in her room,
319
00:13:44,106 --> 00:13:46,723
there were rose petals,
candles...
320
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:48,525
You saw that?
321
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,644
Well, then, maybe you also saw
322
00:13:50,646 --> 00:13:53,647
those rose petals and candles
going into a garbage bag.
323
00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:55,866
NARRATOR: And then Barneytold me everything.
324
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:58,485
How he and Robin hooked up.
325
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:01,571
How he broke up with Norato be with her.
326
00:14:01,573 --> 00:14:04,658
How he thought she would dothe same for him.
327
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:07,411
How she broke his heart.
328
00:14:10,998 --> 00:14:12,966
She chose Kevin.
329
00:14:12,968 --> 00:14:15,469
It hurt, but...
330
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:17,087
I guess they're in love.
331
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:18,522
They broke up last night.
332
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,674
Bummer.
333
00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:23,977
Anyway, let's make our own bets
about this sex tape.
334
00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:26,430
I've got Marshall
with a surprise piercing
335
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,898
at five-to-one odds,
336
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,567
Lily with a landing strip,
ten-to-one,
337
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,436
Marshall with a landing strip,
even money.
338
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,938
I don't believe this.
339
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,440
You were in love with Robin,
340
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,658
you find out she's single,
and your reaction is "Bummer"?
341
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:39,776
What do you want me to say, Ted?
342
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:42,446
Whatever I
thought was there,
343
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,232
she thought differently.
344
00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:48,118
So... no, I don't care
that Robin is single again.
345
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:52,005
So if Robin started dating
someone else, you wouldn't mind?
346
00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:53,090
Nope.
347
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,759
Even if that somebody else
was me?
348
00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:59,846
Even if that somebody else
was you.
349
00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:01,698
Really?
Really.
350
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,867
Hey, bros before hos, right?
351
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:06,503
No matter how mad she made me,
352
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:09,122
Robin's still my bro.
353
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:11,041
And if, uh, you make her happy,
354
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:13,676
then that makes me happy.
355
00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:17,230
Barney, you've really grown up,
you know that?
356
00:15:17,232 --> 00:15:18,698
Thanks.
357
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,284
Now let's watch our two best
friends have sex on tape.
358
00:15:21,286 --> 00:15:22,869
I'll make the popcorn.
359
00:15:22,871 --> 00:15:24,121
(Barney giggles)
360
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:25,205
Don't watch that tape!
361
00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:27,124
Watch that tape!
362
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,691
Well, sorry, I just really
want to win the bet.
363
00:15:28,693 --> 00:15:30,360
And here we go.
364
00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:32,796
O-okay. Okay, fine, Barney.
365
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,965
Watch our dirty little home
movie, but be forewarned,
366
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,300
at about the one minute mark,
367
00:15:37,302 --> 00:15:39,169
you're going to see me
make this face.
368
00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:43,140
Oh, God,
that's the face you made
369
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,474
the day we rode motorcycles.
Yeah.
370
00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:45,926
Yeah. You really
want to see that?
371
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:48,645
A-and do you want
to hear me go, uh...
372
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,930
(bleating grunts)
(gags)
373
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:52,482
(bleating grunting)
374
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:55,218
It can't sound like that.
It can't.
375
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,987
I know that noise, I've heard it
through the walls.
376
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,572
I thought the neighbors
had a sick cat.
377
00:15:58,574 --> 00:15:59,739
Okay, but, Barney,
just remember,
378
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,691
you'll also be seeing
a lot of this:
379
00:16:01,693 --> 00:16:04,027
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
380
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,745
It's this, but
I'm not pregnant.
381
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:09,082
My skin is loose,
like an elephant.
382
00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:11,368
My boobs are
perky and plump.
383
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,453
I slobber
like a confused old dog.
384
00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:15,789
I slap my own ass.
I slap my own ass!
385
00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:17,958
(yells)
386
00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:22,745
Barney...
387
00:16:22,747 --> 00:16:24,014
that was my VCR.
388
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,132
Ted...
389
00:16:26,134 --> 00:16:28,351
it was a VCR.
390
00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:34,024
A week later, I picked Robin up
at the airport.
391
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:37,277
♪
392
00:16:40,531 --> 00:16:43,316
♪
393
00:16:43,318 --> 00:16:46,236
And took her out to dinnerat her favorite restaurant.
394
00:16:48,105 --> 00:16:51,274
And by the end of the night,one thing had become clear:
395
00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:53,627
It's not going to happen, is it?
396
00:16:53,629 --> 00:16:55,161
(sighs)
397
00:16:55,163 --> 00:16:56,379
I'm sorry.
398
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:00,467
It's because of Barney.
399
00:17:00,469 --> 00:17:01,935
What?
400
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,470
No.
401
00:17:03,472 --> 00:17:04,921
Barney and I... we...
402
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:08,058
No. No. It's just...
403
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,411
You know, things have
just been so crazy lately.
404
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:15,966
Everything in my life
is... unstable.
405
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:19,152
I mean, you're one of the few
things that I can count on.
406
00:17:20,238 --> 00:17:23,806
And... I really don't
want to mess that up.
407
00:17:24,808 --> 00:17:28,028
We-we... we still have our deal,
right?
408
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:31,648
If we're both still...
single when we're 40?
409
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,816
Yeah. Yeah.
410
00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:38,622
No. Look... I'm sorry.
411
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,624
I-I can't do that anymore.
412
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:43,343
As long as the door
is even a little bit open,
413
00:17:43,345 --> 00:17:45,629
I have this feeling
that I'll just be...
414
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:49,266
waiting around to see if I win
the lottery when you turn 40.
415
00:17:50,434 --> 00:17:53,053
I think you know
how you feel about me now,
416
00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:56,957
and... I don't think time's
going to change that.
417
00:17:58,008 --> 00:18:00,843
Just tell me.
418
00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:02,612
Do you love me?
419
00:18:08,452 --> 00:18:10,637
No.
420
00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:18,244
(sighs)
421
00:18:18,246 --> 00:18:19,963
I'm sorry.
422
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,831
We're great as friends.
423
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:22,999
Let's just...
(clears throat)
424
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,701
Let's just forget
I ever said anything.
425
00:18:29,757 --> 00:18:31,758
(sighs)
426
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,643
Bar. Alone. Now.
427
00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:35,095
It's just a bump
in the road.
428
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:36,730
You guys are meant
to be together.
429
00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:38,098
You can't give up.
430
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,382
You... i-it can still happen.
431
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,483
No. Marshall...
432
00:18:40,485 --> 00:18:42,102
What about
the hot air balloon thing,
433
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,853
with the ten dozen roses?
434
00:18:43,855 --> 00:18:45,655
And how's the sonnet coming, buddy?
Dude.
435
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,074
You bet on the wrong horse.
Let it go.
436
00:18:48,859 --> 00:18:50,560
Believe it or not,
437
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:52,278
I'm happy about this. I'm...
438
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,331
I can finally move on.
439
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,833
This is a good thing.
440
00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:59,002
Really.
441
00:19:04,258 --> 00:19:05,408
Hey, Robin.
442
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,876
Oh, hey.
Hey.
443
00:19:06,878 --> 00:19:09,078
Hey. Uh, look, before I forget,
here's Lily's hairdryer.
444
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,598
I borrowed it, like,
a million years ago.
445
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,099
Yeah, you can keep that.
446
00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,434
Um... Hey, listen,
447
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:16,085
Ted told me what happened
with you guys,
448
00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:17,854
and he says that
he's at peace with it.
449
00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:19,589
Oh, really?
450
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,141
That's good.
451
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,926
He's lying, Robin.
452
00:19:23,928 --> 00:19:27,313
He's trying to be strong,
but it's killing him,
453
00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:30,233
and so, as his best friend,
454
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,202
I have to say something that...
455
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,537
he loves you
just way too much to say.
456
00:19:35,773 --> 00:19:38,224
You gotta move out.
457
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:42,379
I know.
458
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:45,749
♪ And all of the ghouls
come out to play ♪
459
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:50,387
♪ And every demon
wants his pound of flesh ♪
460
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:54,457
♪ But I like to keep
some things to myself ♪
461
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:58,678
♪ I like to keep
my issues strong ♪
462
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,533
♪ It's always darkest
before the dawn ♪
463
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:08,354
♪ And I've been a fool
and I've been blind ♪
464
00:20:08,356 --> 00:20:12,242
♪ I can never leave
the past behind ♪
465
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,327
♪ I can see no way
466
00:20:14,329 --> 00:20:17,997
♪ I can see
no way ♪
467
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,734
♪ I'm always dragging
that horse around ♪
468
00:20:20,736 --> 00:20:23,002
NARRATOR:
Here's the funny thing:
469
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:26,372
In my own crazy way,I was kind of happy.
470
00:20:26,374 --> 00:20:29,676
For the first time in years,there was no little part of me
471
00:20:29,678 --> 00:20:32,161
clinging to the dreamof being with Robin.
472
00:20:32,163 --> 00:20:34,764
Which meant,for the first time in years,
473
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:36,382
the world was wide open.
474
00:20:36,384 --> 00:20:38,251
Because, kids...
475
00:20:38,253 --> 00:20:40,336
when a door closes,
476
00:20:40,338 --> 00:20:42,939
well...
477
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,974
♪ Shake it out, shake it out
478
00:20:44,976 --> 00:20:46,943
...you know the rest.
479
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:49,112
♪ And it's hard to dance
480
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:50,947
♪ With a devil on your back
481
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,816
♪ So shake him off
482
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:56,319
♪ Oh, whoa...
483
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,321
LILY: For Ted's sake,I hate to say this,
484
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,044
but... pay up.
485
00:21:03,594 --> 00:21:04,794
Not yet.
486
00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:09,032
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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