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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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In the fall of 2011,Lily and Marshall received
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00:00:03,065 --> 00:00:05,098
a surprising giftfrom Lily's grandparents:
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00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,850
their house in Long Island.
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Lily and Marshall decided tosell it for one simple reason.
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It's Long Island.
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I don't want to spend
my Saturday in Long Island.
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I know, babe,
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but the realtor staged the
place with fake furniture
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and she wants us to check it
out before the open house.
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00:00:20,332 --> 00:00:21,348
All right.
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00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,366
Can we at least do it
on the fake bed?
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00:00:23,368 --> 00:00:26,336
I'm embarrassed
that you have to ask.
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So, they headed outto Long Island,
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00:00:28,373 --> 00:00:31,274
and when they walkedin the door...
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We'll take it!
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We-We can't take it.
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We're the ones selling it.
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We are selling it, right?
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Baby, your grandparents gave
you this house outright.
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So, the way I see it,
we have five options.
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One: sell it.
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Two: year-round
haunted house.
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Three: giant fence around the
perimeter, chimp sanctuary.
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There's already a tire
swing in the backyard.
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00:00:51,262 --> 00:00:53,563
Four: we destroy it
with sledgehammers.
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00:00:53,565 --> 00:00:55,281
I like four.
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00:00:55,283 --> 00:00:58,701
Or five: we move in,
raise our children
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and make this our family home.
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Till they graduate.
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Then we destroy it
with sledgehammers.
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As a family.
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No, this is crazy!
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We are New York people.
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We have a big, beautiful
apartment that we love.
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You're right.
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But something happened
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00:01:17,122 --> 00:01:18,505
to Lily and Marshall that day.
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Something that happensto all New Yorkers
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who return home from anywhereother than New York.
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Their big, lovely apartment...
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Huh. That's weird.
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♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x11 ♪
The Rebound Girl
Original Air Date on November 21, 2011
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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Now, kids, it had been
a rough couple weeks for Barney.
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00:02:04,782 --> 00:02:06,949
First, he cheatedon his girlfriend with Robin,
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then he broke upwith his girlfriend for Robin,
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then Robin chose Kevinover him.
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So he was kind ofin a bad place.
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Hey.
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00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:15,424
You all right?
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00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:16,925
Why wouldn't I
be all right?
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00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:18,176
Barney's single again!
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00:02:18,178 --> 00:02:20,045
It's what America's
been clamoring for.
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00:02:20,047 --> 00:02:21,730
You just went
through a break-up.
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That's usually when people
do something crazy.
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If you were a girl,
you'd have cut bangs
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and be dating you by now.
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Just promise me
you won't do something crazy.
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00:02:29,189 --> 00:02:31,440
I promise I won't
do something crazy.
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00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,092
Don't worry, he's gonna dosomething crazy.
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00:02:34,094 --> 00:02:36,745
In fact, I think
I'm done with girls.
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00:02:36,747 --> 00:02:38,730
I'm not sure I even
like them anymore.
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Based on all the stuff you've
done to them over the years,
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00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:41,500
I'm not sure
you ever liked them.
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I'm serious.
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00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:44,586
Come on, you love girls.
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00:02:44,588 --> 00:02:46,738
If anyone should be
done with girls, it's me.
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00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,239
Look at the year I've had.
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00:02:48,241 --> 00:02:50,175
Zoey, Victoria,
the Slutty Pumpkin.
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00:02:50,177 --> 00:02:52,594
Now I'm worried
you're gonna do something crazy.
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I'm not gonna do
something crazy.
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00:02:54,431 --> 00:02:58,433
And yes, I'm gonna dosomething crazy, too.
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But girls, man.
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Girls.
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- You know what would kick ass?
- Being gay?
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00:03:04,191 --> 00:03:06,525
Being gay would kick ass!
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00:03:06,527 --> 00:03:08,360
Word. Guys understand
each other.
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00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,978
Imagine a relationship where,
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instead of talking
about feelings all the time,
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you just play some Madden,
eat a pizza,
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give each other a happy,
roll over
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and have some
cuddle-free shut-eye.
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Bro, for what it's worth,
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if we were both gay,
you'd be my first call.
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00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,459
Would you mind calling Marshall
and telling him that?
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'Cause he thinks...
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00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,112
No, this is only in a scenario
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00:03:29,416 --> 00:03:30,949
But if all three of us were gay,
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you'd pick me
over Marshall, right?
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00:03:32,636 --> 00:03:34,436
If all three of us were gay?
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Girlfriend, we would
all three of us have some fun.
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Damn right we would.
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We're not gay.
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00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:46,848
Nope. Stuck with girls.
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I wish men could have children
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on their own, like sea horses.
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Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
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They have a little pouch.
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They should be called
sea kangaroos.
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00:03:54,908 --> 00:03:57,743
No, y-you want kids?
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00:03:57,745 --> 00:04:00,979
Maybe I've kind of
lately been thinking
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00:04:00,981 --> 00:04:04,249
about the whole
wife and kids thing.
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00:04:04,251 --> 00:04:06,034
Just minus the wife.
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00:04:06,036 --> 00:04:07,652
You could always go it alone.
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00:04:07,654 --> 00:04:09,821
Like Mr. Drummond
on Diff'rent Strokes.
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00:04:09,823 --> 00:04:12,958
Yeah, but that was the '80s,
when you could just swing by
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00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,793
any inner-city playground
in your limo
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and scoop up some kids.
- Mmm.
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00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:18,347
- Simpler times.
- Hmm.
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00:04:18,349 --> 00:04:19,664
I guess it's better
to have someone
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00:04:19,666 --> 00:04:21,433
in it with you anyway, you know?
Lifetime partnership.
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The only partnership in my life
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00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,470
that has stood the test of time
is this one.
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The sacred bond of man and bro.
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Maybe we should start
a family together.
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Are you kidding?
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This place is huge.
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00:04:37,985 --> 00:04:40,736
I mean, look, I can
dance all crazy in here.
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Oh! Sh...
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00:04:43,039 --> 00:04:45,374
Listen, um, Robin,
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are you okay with us all
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00:04:47,327 --> 00:04:49,378
doing Thanksgiving
out in East Meadow?
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00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:50,912
Uh, yeah, I guess
that'd be nice.
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00:04:50,914 --> 00:04:52,080
Oh, great!
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00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:54,249
And then after Thanksgiving,
Lily and I were thinking
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00:04:54,251 --> 00:04:56,367
that we would just
stay at the house
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00:04:56,369 --> 00:04:58,303
until, you know...
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00:04:58,305 --> 00:04:59,871
we die.
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00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:01,089
What?
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00:05:01,091 --> 00:05:02,674
No!
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00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:05,060
You can't move
to Long Island!
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00:05:05,062 --> 00:05:07,012
But this house
is so nice.
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00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:10,932
It's big, and it's clean,
and if there's cockroaches,
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00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:13,518
they respect us enough
to sneak around.
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00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,603
Listen to yourself.
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00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,055
This is Pregnancy Brain
all over again.
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00:05:17,057 --> 00:05:18,824
No, I'm done
with Pregnancy Brain.
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00:05:18,826 --> 00:05:22,911
I've moved on
to weird pregnancy sex dreams.
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00:05:22,913 --> 00:05:24,496
Officer.
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00:05:25,248 --> 00:05:27,699
You know. You know.
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00:05:27,701 --> 00:05:32,170
I'm-I'm just saying, you're not
in the right mind to be making
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00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:33,288
this decision
right now.
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00:05:33,290 --> 00:05:34,923
You know what? Robin's right.
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00:05:34,925 --> 00:05:38,076
We are in no state of mind
to make this kind of decision.
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00:05:38,078 --> 00:05:40,629
Thank you. And now you're
stepping off the crazy bus.
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00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,180
We let the universe decide.
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00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:43,632
And now you're back on board.
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00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,217
You hear that, Universe?
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00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:48,553
If you send us a sign
in the next...
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00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:51,640
24 hours, then we're moving
to Long Island!
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00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,358
Okay?
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00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,276
Go.
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00:05:54,278 --> 00:05:55,426
Hey, guys,
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00:05:55,428 --> 00:05:57,145
for the last time,
this place is enormous...
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00:05:57,147 --> 00:05:58,146
Oh!
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00:05:58,148 --> 00:06:00,532
Geez, how many lamps
do you have?
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00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:02,784
It's genius!
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00:06:02,786 --> 00:06:05,370
Instead of throwing away
your life marrying some girl,
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00:06:05,372 --> 00:06:08,623
you just go splitsies on a kid
with your best bro!
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00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:09,708
I wouldn't have to choose
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00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:11,609
between dating
and having a family.
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00:06:11,611 --> 00:06:14,279
Hell, I could bring
the kids on dates!
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00:06:14,281 --> 00:06:15,464
And a broken home?
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00:06:15,466 --> 00:06:16,748
Um, what's that?
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00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:17,883
Our kids will never know,
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00:06:17,885 --> 00:06:19,450
'cause we're never
gonna split up!
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00:06:19,452 --> 00:06:20,469
Why would we?
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00:06:20,471 --> 00:06:21,887
I mean, sure,
when your wife walks in
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00:06:21,889 --> 00:06:23,955
on you banging a hot flight
attendant, you get a divorce.
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00:06:23,957 --> 00:06:25,623
But when your bro-parent
walks in on you
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00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:26,958
banging a hot
flight attendant...
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00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,227
You get five of these bad boys,
right up high!
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00:06:29,229 --> 00:06:32,147
And you totally
join in, right?!
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00:06:32,149 --> 00:06:33,965
Oh, no, there's the line.
That's the line.
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00:06:33,967 --> 00:06:36,067
We found the line.
It's good we know where it is.
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00:06:36,069 --> 00:06:37,102
Hey, guys.
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00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,487
- Hey!
- Hey.
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00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:40,622
We have an announcement.
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00:06:40,624 --> 00:06:42,524
So what you're
saying is,
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00:06:42,526 --> 00:06:44,743
if you're meant to move
to Long Island,
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00:06:44,745 --> 00:06:46,111
some sign from the universe
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00:06:46,113 --> 00:06:47,746
will magically appear
at your doorstep?
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00:06:47,748 --> 00:06:49,865
Now, kids, I don't thinkthere was a knock on the door
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00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,434
at that exact moment, but forthe purposes of this story...
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00:06:55,988 --> 00:06:57,255
Hi, I'm Clive.
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00:06:57,257 --> 00:06:58,673
I live upstairs from you.
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00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:00,759
Is this your sign?
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00:07:00,761 --> 00:07:03,795
I don't know, Clive.
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00:07:03,797 --> 00:07:05,163
Is it?
192
00:07:05,165 --> 00:07:07,015
Oh, did we leave that outside?
193
00:07:07,017 --> 00:07:09,634
Yeah, we're selling our house
in Long Island.
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00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:11,803
Oh. Too bad you're not
selling this place.
195
00:07:11,805 --> 00:07:13,555
I'd love to turn
mine into a duplex.
196
00:07:13,557 --> 00:07:15,673
And I'd give you a really
good price for it,
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00:07:15,675 --> 00:07:17,742
because I am so rich.
198
00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:20,712
He did not
say that.
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00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:22,113
His shoes did.
200
00:07:22,115 --> 00:07:24,449
Okay, the point is,
we got the sign.
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00:07:24,451 --> 00:07:26,735
We're moving to East Meadow.
202
00:07:27,453 --> 00:07:28,570
Let's get some champagne.
203
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:30,238
And just like that,Lily and Marshall
204
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,873
were beginning a new chapterin their lives.
205
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,042
Which meant only one thingfor us...
206
00:07:34,044 --> 00:07:35,911
We're having a baby!
207
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,695
Bro-parents activate!
208
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,052
- Hey, let's talk baby names!
- Barney...
209
00:07:45,053 --> 00:07:46,903
Oh, my God!
That was my first choice, too.
210
00:07:46,905 --> 00:07:50,306
No, listen.
You and I are drunk.
211
00:07:50,308 --> 00:07:53,910
Which means there's a chance
that adopting a baby...
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00:07:53,912 --> 00:07:56,112
no matter how cute
he is in my head
213
00:07:56,114 --> 00:07:59,282
with his little cowboy outfit on
and he's riding our dog
214
00:07:59,284 --> 00:08:01,834
like a horse
and we also have a dog,
215
00:08:01,836 --> 00:08:04,620
purebred Golden,
but it's okay, she's a rescue...
216
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:06,422
might not be a good idea.
217
00:08:06,424 --> 00:08:08,458
You're right.
218
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,594
So let's go home,
take some aspirin,
219
00:08:11,596 --> 00:08:13,829
drink lots of water,
220
00:08:13,831 --> 00:08:16,883
and then see if it's still
a good idea tomorrow.
221
00:08:17,551 --> 00:08:18,801
It's still a good idea!
222
00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,386
It's totally still
a good idea!
223
00:08:20,388 --> 00:08:21,721
We're having a baby!
224
00:08:23,308 --> 00:08:25,558
Kids, I cannotstress this enough:
225
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,194
Barney and I were goingthrough a tough time.
226
00:08:28,196 --> 00:08:30,513
You're not leaving,
and that's final.
227
00:08:30,515 --> 00:08:34,517
Look what I bought at
4:00 a.m. in New York City.
228
00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:39,155
A bootleg VHS of a very,
very popular Korean movie,
229
00:08:39,157 --> 00:08:42,024
this genuine Lenny Vintone purse
230
00:08:42,026 --> 00:08:45,194
and the number of a man
who can get me a kidney.
231
00:08:45,196 --> 00:08:46,579
Do that on Long Island.
232
00:08:46,581 --> 00:08:49,749
Look, Robin, we appreciate
that you want us
233
00:08:49,751 --> 00:08:52,335
to stay in the city, but
this is what we want.
234
00:08:52,337 --> 00:08:53,886
I mean, you
understand, right?
235
00:08:55,206 --> 00:08:56,305
No.
236
00:08:56,307 --> 00:08:57,890
Here are a
few fun facts
237
00:08:57,892 --> 00:09:00,093
about Long Island.
238
00:09:00,095 --> 00:09:02,812
Number one:
it's Brooklyn's fart trail.
239
00:09:03,713 --> 00:09:04,880
So Barney and I...
240
00:09:04,882 --> 00:09:06,715
and again,going through a tough time,
241
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,067
can't stress that enough...
242
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,769
found an adoption agencyWeb site
243
00:09:09,771 --> 00:09:11,988
and filled outtheir online application.
244
00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:14,774
Name: Barney Stinson.
245
00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:16,609
Ted Mosby.
246
00:09:16,611 --> 00:09:17,577
Address...
247
00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:19,078
Oh, put my address
in Westchester.
248
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,363
They'll want to see we'll be
249
00:09:20,365 --> 00:09:21,998
raising this child
in a good environment.
250
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,166
You know, the suburbs.
251
00:09:23,168 --> 00:09:24,500
What? No.
252
00:09:24,502 --> 00:09:27,203
- All my guys are here.
- Your guys?
253
00:09:27,205 --> 00:09:29,005
Yeah. You know how I got
a guy for everything?
254
00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,289
Well, they're all in New York.
255
00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:32,375
My suit guy, my shoe guy,
my ticket guy, my club guy.
256
00:09:32,377 --> 00:09:33,909
And if I don't have
a guy for something,
257
00:09:33,911 --> 00:09:35,711
then I have a guy guy
to get me a guy.
258
00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:37,547
And oddly enough,
his name is Guy.
259
00:09:37,549 --> 00:09:39,415
Okay, fine.
How about this?
260
00:09:39,417 --> 00:09:42,251
We stay in the city during
the week, then on the weekend,
261
00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:43,553
country house in the burbs!
262
00:09:43,555 --> 00:09:46,055
This is why bro-parenting works!
263
00:09:46,057 --> 00:09:46,973
Totally!
264
00:09:46,975 --> 00:09:49,225
And with your salary
plus my salary,
265
00:09:49,227 --> 00:09:51,260
we can totally
afford two places.
266
00:09:51,262 --> 00:09:53,279
Oh.
267
00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:54,547
What?
268
00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:58,818
So... uh, you're gonna
keep your job?
269
00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:02,538
Robin, this discussion
is closed.
270
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:04,957
The universe told us to do it,
so we're doing it.
271
00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:08,077
Well, the universe
gets it wrong sometimes.
272
00:10:08,079 --> 00:10:10,329
Remember when Marshall
was trying to decide between
273
00:10:10,331 --> 00:10:12,915
becoming an environmental lawyer
and working at a bank?
274
00:10:12,917 --> 00:10:14,650
That's a funny story.
275
00:10:14,652 --> 00:10:17,086
Marshall was fed upwith his job at GNB and was
276
00:10:17,088 --> 00:10:18,421
thinking aboutleaving it all behind,
277
00:10:18,423 --> 00:10:20,456
so he and Lily agreedhe should wait for a sign
278
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:22,308
from the universeto tell him what to do.
279
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,010
Then one day...
280
00:10:33,237 --> 00:10:34,353
Of course.
281
00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:35,521
It's so clear.
282
00:10:35,523 --> 00:10:37,240
It's been right there all along.
283
00:10:37,242 --> 00:10:38,974
I have to call Lily.
284
00:10:38,976 --> 00:10:41,110
Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.
285
00:10:41,112 --> 00:10:44,163
I'm sorry, but, um, can
I please borrow your...
286
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,949
- Ernie Hudson?
- Yes.
287
00:10:46,951 --> 00:10:49,085
Can I borrow your phone?
288
00:10:49,087 --> 00:10:51,320
Who you gonna call?
289
00:10:53,156 --> 00:10:55,508
And did Marshall
become a Ghostbuster?
290
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:57,577
That firehouse
is still for sale.
291
00:10:57,579 --> 00:11:00,496
Even Ernie Hudson begged you
not to go through with that.
292
00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:01,797
Ernie Hudson is a coward!
293
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:03,466
Oh!
294
00:11:03,468 --> 00:11:04,700
Of course I'm gonna
keep my job.
295
00:11:04,702 --> 00:11:05,868
Why wouldn't
I keep my job?
296
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:09,939
Well, I mean,
this whole architecture thing...
297
00:11:09,941 --> 00:11:11,557
isn't it more of a hobby?
298
00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,025
Excuse me?
299
00:11:13,027 --> 00:11:14,644
And now we're fighting.
You know what?
300
00:11:14,646 --> 00:11:16,295
Forget I said anything.
301
00:11:16,297 --> 00:11:18,731
No! No, no, no.
We're having this discussion.
302
00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:20,015
Architecture
is my life's work.
303
00:11:20,017 --> 00:11:21,951
Why don't you quit your job?
I don't even know
304
00:11:21,953 --> 00:11:23,703
what it is
you do for a living.
305
00:11:23,705 --> 00:11:26,122
"What it is I do for a living?"
306
00:11:26,124 --> 00:11:31,244
I work, Ted, 14 hours a day
so that our baby can have food
307
00:11:31,246 --> 00:11:33,496
and clothes and a nice house,
308
00:11:33,498 --> 00:11:35,364
while you sit around
doodling pictures of buildings.
309
00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:36,883
That's "what it is I do."
310
00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:39,502
You know what? Screw this.
I'm gonna go to the bar.
311
00:11:39,504 --> 00:11:41,304
Yeah, right, right,
'cause the answer's always
312
00:11:41,306 --> 00:11:43,172
at the bottom of a bottle!
313
00:11:43,174 --> 00:11:45,975
Wait, wait, wait!
Hold it!
314
00:11:45,977 --> 00:11:48,928
Brainstorm.
Brainstorm.
315
00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:51,664
Nobody quits their job.
316
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:52,765
We get a nanny.
317
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:53,766
Dibs on the nanny.
318
00:11:53,768 --> 00:11:55,151
No. No banging the nanny.
319
00:11:55,153 --> 00:11:57,186
Ted, please don not dig in
on this whole
320
00:11:57,188 --> 00:11:58,237
no-banging-the-nanny policy.
321
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,822
Okay, fine.
We'll get two nannies.
322
00:11:59,824 --> 00:12:02,241
One for banging,
one for childcare.
323
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,226
Slash banging.
Dibs on both nannies!
324
00:12:04,228 --> 00:12:06,362
Just think of it, Ted,
you and me,
325
00:12:06,364 --> 00:12:08,664
living together,
with our kid,
326
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:11,137
my two hot nannies,
our pet cobra...
327
00:12:11,138 --> 00:12:11,748
What?
328
00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:14,086
A kid needs a pet cobra, Ted.
Don't be a pill about this.
329
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:16,422
And we'll have amazing
weeklong parties,
330
00:12:16,424 --> 00:12:19,292
and there'll be swords
and ninja stars lying around.
331
00:12:19,294 --> 00:12:20,626
That's when I realized:
332
00:12:20,628 --> 00:12:23,679
adopting a baby with a friend?
Crazy.
333
00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:27,583
Adopting a baby with Barney?Freaking nuts.
334
00:12:27,585 --> 00:12:29,802
I can't adopt a baby with you,
Barney.
335
00:12:29,804 --> 00:12:30,853
Why not?
336
00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:32,471
Because we don't even
have one yet
337
00:12:32,473 --> 00:12:33,940
and you're already
a terrible father.
338
00:12:33,942 --> 00:12:36,058
Oh, I get it.
339
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:37,977
You want one of the nannies.
340
00:12:37,979 --> 00:12:39,928
Well, you can't have 'em!
They're mine!
341
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:42,815
So you're just gonna have
to get yourself a third nanny.
342
00:12:42,817 --> 00:12:45,651
Except dibs on
the third nanny! Good day!
343
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:48,704
Which brings usto Thanksgiving.
344
00:12:48,706 --> 00:12:50,990
Marshall, Lily and Robinwere heading out
345
00:12:50,992 --> 00:12:52,959
to Long Island earlyto get ready.
346
00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:02,301
Okay, how is this
even possible?!
347
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,221
'Cause how did we even get it
in here?!
348
00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:10,292
Okay, I change my mind.
I want an epidural.
349
00:13:10,294 --> 00:13:12,561
You guys are crazy.
350
00:13:12,563 --> 00:13:14,930
This place is enormous.
351
00:13:14,932 --> 00:13:16,482
I mean, look arou...
352
00:13:16,484 --> 00:13:19,185
Have you never heard
of overhead lighting?!
353
00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:24,607
You're right.
354
00:13:24,609 --> 00:13:26,192
I get it.
355
00:13:26,194 --> 00:13:29,278
This place is great.
356
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,831
Um, excuse me.
Where is the restroom?
357
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:34,450
Oh. Right there.
Oh, good, great.
358
00:13:34,452 --> 00:13:36,002
I'm just gonna go
in there and...
359
00:13:36,004 --> 00:13:39,255
not come out until you promise
never to move away!
360
00:13:41,174 --> 00:13:43,509
It's a good thing
we have three bathrooms.
361
00:13:45,045 --> 00:13:46,462
Hey, Barney.
362
00:13:46,464 --> 00:13:48,163
Uh, listen, sorry
about the other day
363
00:13:48,165 --> 00:13:50,099
when I said you'd be
a terrible father.
364
00:13:50,101 --> 00:13:52,385
You had no reason
to think otherwise.
365
00:13:52,387 --> 00:13:53,886
Totally understandable.
I'm not mad.
366
00:13:53,888 --> 00:13:55,021
Thanks.
367
00:13:55,023 --> 00:13:56,155
And, uh, let's be honest,
368
00:13:56,157 --> 00:13:57,606
we were both acting
a little crazy.
369
00:13:57,608 --> 00:13:59,642
I don't think either of us
is truly ready
370
00:13:59,644 --> 00:14:01,176
for the responsibility of...
371
00:14:01,178 --> 00:14:03,729
Daddy's home.
372
00:14:09,839 --> 00:14:13,054
Uh, Barney, uh, where
did you get this baby?
373
00:14:13,506 --> 00:14:14,527
Please.
374
00:14:14,528 --> 00:14:15,777
Did you adopt it?
375
00:14:15,779 --> 00:14:16,828
Please.
376
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:19,130
Do you have
a baby guy?
377
00:14:19,132 --> 00:14:22,417
Did Guy the guy guy
get you a baby guy?
378
00:14:22,419 --> 00:14:24,151
Ted, we should get going.
379
00:14:24,153 --> 00:14:26,504
No, no, no. I'm not going
anywhere with you.
380
00:14:26,506 --> 00:14:27,989
For all I know, I could be
381
00:14:27,991 --> 00:14:29,257
aiding and abetting
a kidnapping.
382
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,042
Shh. Bro-daddy's not mad.
383
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:35,680
He's just being a wittle loud.
He wuvs you! Yes, he does!
384
00:14:35,682 --> 00:14:37,832
- This is insane!
- You'll feel better outside.
385
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:39,717
- Come on.
- No, I can't.
386
00:14:39,719 --> 00:14:41,302
Yeah. Na-na-na.
387
00:14:41,304 --> 00:14:44,639
But then we went outside.
388
00:14:44,641 --> 00:14:45,890
Oh, my goodness.
389
00:14:45,892 --> 00:14:47,892
- What a beautiful baby.
- Thank you.
390
00:14:47,894 --> 00:14:50,177
By the way, my friend and I,
we're not a couple.
391
00:14:50,179 --> 00:14:52,146
We are two straight guys
who are single
392
00:14:52,148 --> 00:14:54,315
and we have a baby.
Just so you know.
393
00:14:54,317 --> 00:14:56,618
Look at this sweet girl.
394
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,620
Hi. I was just telling
this first girl,
395
00:14:58,622 --> 00:15:00,455
my friend and I,
both straight,
396
00:15:00,457 --> 00:15:02,540
both available,
and we have a baby.
397
00:15:02,542 --> 00:15:04,042
Oh, who is this little angel?
398
00:15:04,044 --> 00:15:05,326
Okay, real quick:
me and him,
399
00:15:05,328 --> 00:15:06,911
not gay, single,
have a baby.
400
00:15:06,913 --> 00:15:08,563
We should look
into having a sign made.
401
00:15:08,565 --> 00:15:10,782
Kids, again, we were goingthrough a difficult time.
402
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,100
But this part was kind of fun.
403
00:15:12,102 --> 00:15:16,671
Aw...!
So cute!
404
00:15:16,673 --> 00:15:18,506
This is awesome.
405
00:15:18,508 --> 00:15:20,875
Right?
406
00:15:20,877 --> 00:15:22,894
Robin, come out
and talk to us.
407
00:15:22,896 --> 00:15:24,429
I'm not coming out
of this bathroom
408
00:15:24,431 --> 00:15:27,048
until everyone stops
acting crazy!
409
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,067
No one is being crazy.
410
00:15:29,069 --> 00:15:31,085
Again, for the purposesof this story...
411
00:15:32,154 --> 00:15:35,773
Ted and I have
a baby. Crazy!
412
00:15:35,775 --> 00:15:37,358
What the hell is that?
413
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,662
Guys, this is Hurricane
Stinson-Mosby.
414
00:15:40,664 --> 00:15:41,829
Mosby-Stinson.
415
00:15:41,831 --> 00:15:44,165
You named your
baby Hurricane?
416
00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:46,167
That is...
417
00:15:46,169 --> 00:15:48,620
ultimately inconsiderate
to the child
418
00:15:48,622 --> 00:15:50,505
who has to live
with that name.
419
00:15:50,507 --> 00:15:53,258
Okay, how the hell
does Barney have a baby?
420
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:54,575
No idea. Super confused.
421
00:15:54,577 --> 00:15:56,911
I'm finding it best
to just sort of go with it.
422
00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:59,180
She's super cute,
though, right?
423
00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:01,432
Wait a minute.
424
00:16:01,434 --> 00:16:05,586
Oh, guh! Hurricane
dookied in her drawers.
425
00:16:05,588 --> 00:16:08,973
Ha-ha!
Poopy pants!
426
00:16:08,975 --> 00:16:10,591
She needs
a new diaper.
427
00:16:10,593 --> 00:16:12,527
Right. Where do you
keep your diapers?
428
00:16:12,529 --> 00:16:13,811
We don't have any.
429
00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,229
You don't... Wow.
430
00:16:15,231 --> 00:16:19,117
Okay. (scoffs) I guess
I'll go buy some.
431
00:16:19,119 --> 00:16:21,653
You're gonna be a mom and
you don't have any diapers?
432
00:16:21,655 --> 00:16:24,656
Lord, watch over
that child.
433
00:16:24,658 --> 00:16:26,391
Uh, okay.
434
00:16:26,393 --> 00:16:28,943
Come here, you.
435
00:16:28,945 --> 00:16:32,797
So, there was talk
of a cheese plate?
436
00:16:41,223 --> 00:16:42,423
Hey.
437
00:16:42,425 --> 00:16:44,842
Cheese?
438
00:16:44,844 --> 00:16:46,394
Thanks.
439
00:16:49,315 --> 00:16:51,599
If you don't mind
me asking...
440
00:16:51,601 --> 00:16:53,818
what-what is
this all about?
441
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:57,438
I mean, you are one of the most
strong, independent,
442
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,640
non-locking-themselves-in-
443
00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:01,659
a-bathroom-on-Thanksgiving
people I know.
444
00:17:02,578 --> 00:17:05,313
Why-why are you so upset
about us moving?
445
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:08,783
Maybe I just need you guys
more than you think.
446
00:17:08,785 --> 00:17:13,237
Is this about more
than us moving?
447
00:17:13,239 --> 00:17:15,506
This is good cheese.
448
00:17:16,842 --> 00:17:18,576
Robin?
449
00:17:18,578 --> 00:17:20,378
Yeah?
450
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:23,014
Do you think I should've become
a Ghostbuster?
451
00:17:23,016 --> 00:17:25,099
I think you made
the right call, buddy.
452
00:17:26,352 --> 00:17:29,854
Okay, Ted, I'm not gonna ask you
where Barney got this baby.
453
00:17:29,856 --> 00:17:32,173
But do you have any idea why?
454
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:34,525
Well, a few nights ago,
we were talking...
455
00:17:34,527 --> 00:17:37,729
you know, "We hate girls,
we wish we were gay,"
456
00:17:37,731 --> 00:17:39,513
just guy stuff.
457
00:17:39,515 --> 00:17:42,483
And we kind of
sort of decided to...
458
00:17:42,485 --> 00:17:44,035
adopt a baby.
459
00:17:44,037 --> 00:17:45,820
Yeah, that's crazy.
460
00:17:45,822 --> 00:17:47,038
I know.
461
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,039
Is it, though?
462
00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:49,073
Yes.
463
00:17:49,075 --> 00:17:50,074
I know.
464
00:17:50,076 --> 00:17:51,542
But is it, though?
465
00:17:51,544 --> 00:17:52,543
Yes.
466
00:17:52,545 --> 00:17:53,878
Well, so what if it's crazy?
467
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,030
I've been ready to meet someone
to start a family with
468
00:17:56,032 --> 00:17:58,249
for a long time now,
and I keep not meeting her.
469
00:17:58,251 --> 00:18:00,885
Barney is one of my best friends
in the world, we rarely fight,
470
00:18:00,887 --> 00:18:03,054
and once we iron out
the whole pet cobra thing,
471
00:18:03,056 --> 00:18:04,806
we will be amazing dads.
472
00:18:04,808 --> 00:18:06,307
Why shouldn't we try this?
473
00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:08,542
When's the last time
you fed her?
474
00:18:08,544 --> 00:18:10,428
She had some root beer
on the train.
475
00:18:10,430 --> 00:18:12,764
Oh, Ted.
And I'm sorry,
476
00:18:12,766 --> 00:18:14,381
but you cannot call
a baby Hurricane.
477
00:18:14,383 --> 00:18:16,017
Actually, her name is Sadie.
478
00:18:16,019 --> 00:18:18,236
James, what are you doing here?
479
00:18:18,238 --> 00:18:19,771
Did Barney
not tell you
480
00:18:19,773 --> 00:18:21,406
that we were coming
for Thanksgiving?
481
00:18:21,408 --> 00:18:22,723
Uh, no.
482
00:18:22,725 --> 00:18:25,392
Then he probably also
did not tell you
483
00:18:25,394 --> 00:18:27,278
that he was babysitting
our new daughter.
484
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,247
This is your daughter?
485
00:18:29,249 --> 00:18:31,032
Oh, thank God.
486
00:18:31,034 --> 00:18:32,834
And congratulations.
487
00:18:32,836 --> 00:18:34,568
Thanks. Come here.
488
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,587
Aw...
Aw...
489
00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:39,257
I guess this is good-bye,
Hurri... Sadie.
490
00:18:39,259 --> 00:18:42,794
Your name is Hurricane.
Don't ever forget it.
491
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,763
Go with him. Go on.
492
00:18:45,765 --> 00:18:46,964
Come here.
That a girl.
493
00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:49,100
Hey, Ted,
494
00:18:49,102 --> 00:18:51,185
I overheard
your little speech.
495
00:18:51,187 --> 00:18:52,437
It's not crazy.
496
00:18:53,188 --> 00:18:54,806
About ten years ago,
497
00:18:54,808 --> 00:18:57,775
my best friend and I
nearly did the same thing.
498
00:18:57,777 --> 00:19:01,062
She was single, I was single,
we both wanted a family.
499
00:19:01,064 --> 00:19:03,147
It made sense.
500
00:19:03,149 --> 00:19:04,699
But now?
501
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:08,152
Every day, we thank our lucky
stars that we didn't do it.
502
00:19:08,154 --> 00:19:10,771
'Cause what she found
with her husband
503
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:12,657
and what I found
with mine...
504
00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:14,959
it was worth the wait.
505
00:19:16,128 --> 00:19:18,045
Hurricane's
a cool name.
506
00:19:18,047 --> 00:19:20,882
Isn't it, Tom?
507
00:19:20,884 --> 00:19:22,567
The pet store
was closer,
508
00:19:22,569 --> 00:19:24,302
so I just got her
some wee-wee pads.
509
00:19:24,304 --> 00:19:25,803
Oh, I also got this.
510
00:19:25,805 --> 00:19:27,889
It's beef-flavored
and it's good for her teeth.
511
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,892
James! Tom! Hey!
512
00:19:30,894 --> 00:19:32,293
Lily...
513
00:19:32,295 --> 00:19:33,794
did you get
the e-mail
514
00:19:33,796 --> 00:19:36,314
that I sent you
about inviting
515
00:19:36,316 --> 00:19:38,766
James and Tom
to Thanksgiving?
516
00:19:38,768 --> 00:19:41,802
I sent it to your CompuServe.
That's your main one, right?
517
00:19:42,488 --> 00:19:43,488
Happy Thanksgiving, bro.
518
00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:45,472
- Thanks. Hi.
- Hey!
519
00:19:46,358 --> 00:19:48,326
Let's go sit down.
520
00:19:48,328 --> 00:19:49,827
Hi.
521
00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:52,914
All right,
you got me.
522
00:19:52,916 --> 00:19:54,332
James is my baby guy.
523
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:57,702
But these past three hours...
magical, right?
524
00:19:57,704 --> 00:20:00,254
We can do this!
Say we can do this.
525
00:20:00,256 --> 00:20:01,956
We can't do this.
526
00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,324
Sorry, dude.
527
00:20:03,326 --> 00:20:05,927
We got to wait
for the real thing...
528
00:20:05,929 --> 00:20:08,329
no matter how tough it gets.
529
00:20:11,015 --> 00:20:13,082
It gets pretty tough.
530
00:20:13,084 --> 00:20:14,935
I know it does, buddy.
531
00:20:17,087 --> 00:20:18,805
I have some time
before dinner, right?
532
00:20:18,807 --> 00:20:21,024
I'm going to go...
I'm gonna take a little walk.
533
00:20:21,026 --> 00:20:22,859
All right. All right.
534
00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:27,430
God.
535
00:20:33,254 --> 00:20:35,372
- Hi.
- Hey.
536
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,748
Are we still friends?
537
00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:46,716
Hope so.
538
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:49,530
Good.
539
00:20:49,532 --> 00:20:51,299
'Cause get this.
540
00:20:51,301 --> 00:20:53,384
Ted almost adopted a baby.
541
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,880
Crazy, right?
542
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:57,264
Poor guy's going
through some stuff.
543
00:20:57,266 --> 00:20:59,749
He actually tried
to rope me into it.
544
00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:02,136
Can you imagine me
being someone's dad?
545
00:21:03,677 --> 00:21:04,976
I'm pregnant.
546
00:21:04,978 --> 00:21:08,978
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
39303
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